


Won't Go Slowly

by PsychoSpeak



Category: Dallas Stars - Fandom, Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M, Infertility, Male-Female Friendship, Pregnancy, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-06-26 14:49:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 65
Words: 395,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19770484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoSpeak/pseuds/PsychoSpeak
Summary: "Tyler's smile turned into a wide grin, his hand going to your shoulder, rocking you back and forth in excitement, "You're going to have a baby." "Her life forces her to make a big life decision much sooner than she expected and, her best friend Tyler, makes the offer of his life.





	1. Chapter 1

"Holy shit," you stated evenly, your finger stopping its furious scroll and then backtracking slowly, to bring the picture of the ring back into view, the Facebook announcement Life Event: Engaged clear above the picture.

Something in your chest caught, but you weren't sure quite what it was.

Happiness? Anger? Jealousy?

An irrational belief that that there were certain milestones that you had to hit by a certain age in life, and the crazy feeling that you were running out of time and had to rush, despite the fact that you were still under 30?

"What?" the woman sitting across from you, Andrea, asked, looking up from her own phone.

"Oh nothing," you said quickly, looking back at your Facebook feed (62 likes on a photo posted 3 minutes ago?!) , and then, because you didn't want to be rude, added, "Just an old friend from high school got engaged."

"What old friend from high school?" Tyler asked, walking into the kitchen from behind you, and you instinctively tried to use your body to shield the phone from his view. You breathed a sigh of relief when he crossed the kitchen, looking for something in the fridge. Your finger was hovering over your screen, thinking that you should interact with the post in some way, but a 'Like' seemed too standard. You were trying to decide between the 'Wow' reaction and the 'Love' reaction, when you looked up to see Tyler staring at you expectantly from where he was leaning against the counter, tattooed arms crossed, and a bottle of water hanging from his fingers. "What friend?" he asked again.

"Uh...nobody you know," you said quickly, but he just stood there, set against the counter steadily, giving off the impression that he could stay there all day just waiting for your to answer.

"We went to high school together, remember?" he said, grinning, "I know everyone."

Like you could forget. In fact, you were pretty sure that you were single-handedly the only reason that he passed English in Grade 11.

There were also plenty of nights where you'd sat at home, doing his homework for him, only to have him repay you the next day with candy. Which was really quite a strange arrangement, now that you thought about it.

Before you knew it, Tyler's arms were wrapped around your shoulders, and he was wrestling the phone out of your hands easily. But you were fighting back just as hard, because it was suddenly imperative that he didn't see what was on that screen, but his stupid fingers had such a stronger grip than yours. You panicked, whacking your fist against his forearm. He flinched, pulling away and standing back up to full height, rubbing his arm with a pained expression on his face, "Ow, you hit me."

As soon as you turned in your chair, he dropped the act, moving quickly to snag your phone from your open hand.

"Tyler," you said, reaching for it, but he just held it out of your grasp, grinning triumphantly, knowing that he knew your passcode.

"Tyler," you said again, as his finger was pressed against your the screen of your phone. "Tyler, it's Kirsten."

He raised an eyebrow but punched in the code regardless, making a little noise and pursing his lips, like he was evaluating the ring. He shrugged, sliding your phone on the table back to you, and then went to grabbing a glass from his kitchen cabinet, making a drink.

"You don't care?" you asked in disbelief.  
"Y/N, we dated in high school," he said the word like it was a type of food that he hated, "For, like 4 months."

You didn't correct him, even though it was 8 months, on and off. And you knew, for certain, because each time they'd broken up, you and Kirsten had had a sleepover the following weekend, just the two of you, where she'd gather pictures of him, one for each month they'd been together (usually from a school picture he'd given her or cut out from a newspaper, but once she'd cut him straight out of the yearbook), placed them in the freezer, and then burned them with a lighter on the concrete pad in her backyard, one at a time, because she'd claimed she'd read in a magazine that this was apparently a good way to "cleanse" yourself of a bad relationship.

Yeah, you hadn't told him about that.

So, if he didn't care, why did you?

"Besides," he said, walking by you again, rubbing his hand long the top of your head and likely turning your hair into a static mess, "if I hadn't dated her, we wouldn't be friends."

It was funny, really, when you thought about it, as he left the room again, that you were even friends at all, and that you were still friends all these years later. You'd hated him at first, even, for no reason other than the fact that he was taking up so much of your best friend's time, and because she ALWAYS wanted to be with him, and you were the constant third wheel, unless he brought one of his friends, and then he was always sending off these vibes that he wanted you to just leave. Probably just so he could make out with her or get her in bed.  
And, yet, somehow, he was nice to you, even after they'd permanently broken up.

Except for that one time that it had gotten back to him that you'd told Kirsten that they shouldn't get back together when she was contemplating it for what seemed like the fifth time, because they just didn't seem to work. He'd still give you this weird smile in the hallways, but wouldn't ever say anything. And, of course they got back together, and neither of them seemed to say anything to you for a week straight, until Kirsten called you crying late one night because they'd broken up.

Again.

Even stranger still, it was Kirsten you'd fallen out of touch with. And it was Tyler you'd become close with, even though the two of you were pretty much polar opposites.

He was loud. You were quiet.

He spoke his mind. You second-guessed yourself, trying to set your words just right before you spoke.

He was impulsive. You were a planner.

Sometimes his decisions really, really drove you nuts. And you're sure he felt the same way the same way about yours.

Yet, no matter whether you'd seen him the day before, or you were seeing him for the first time in months, you always fell right back into the familiar friendship, like you'd been together the whole time.

You decided on the heart reaction, because you really were happy that she looked happy. And you missed her friendship, but you also knew that, as you'd grown and discovered yourself more, that you weren't meant to be friends.

"He dated your friend?" Andrea asked.  
"Yeah," you said, setting your phone down, "My best friend, actually. That's how we met."  
"Isn't that...weird?" she asked.

"What?" You were confused.   
"You two," she pointed between you and the doorway Tyler had gone out of, "You're...."  
"Friends," you stated. You'd seen her at Tyler's house for the past three summers, ever since she started seeing one of his friends.

"Oh," she said, shaking her head and looking embarrassed, "Sorry, I just thought you were...."  
"You thought we were dating?" you said with a laugh, because you were 100% sure that she was aware of the hook-ups he'd had in the past 3 years, just during the summer alone.

"No, I thought you had some sort of....arrangement," she said, and then shook her head, "Sorry, forget it. Sorry I mentioned it."

And now you were really laughing, because you seriously couldn't even begin to imagine that.

Tyler walked back into the kitchen then, settling his chin on your shoulder, and you could almost feel Andrea's look before she recovered. But he'd always been like that. He was like that with practically everybody.

"You sure you're okay with watching the dogs this weekend?" he asked. "My mom said she could take them if you're busy."

He was going fishing. Or possibly on a golf trip. Which you couldn't quite remember, but it didn't really matter, because you were sure he'd tell you all about it when he got back.

Of course you'd had no plans, other than laying around and watching Netflix for most of the weekend. Probably grocery shopping and trying to meal prep, but probably never getting around to it. "I'm good," you said, "Unless she wants them?"

He shook his head slowly, "You're sure, though? I don't want you to feel like I'm always pawning them off on you."

"I like having them," you said, as the subjects of the conversation made their way into the kitchen, "They're good company."

He smiled widely then, bending down to pet each of them in turn. "Yeah, they are."

And you realized then, that feeling you felt. It wasn't jealousy, or anger, or envy.  
It was loneliness.


	2. Chapter 2

Being in Tyler's house alone was weird.

Not that you were alone, not really, with three large dogs practically constantly surrounding you.

But it was weird to be there in the quiet, especially because 90% of the time you were over there, there was at least one other person hanging around, too, whether it was someone actually there to hang out with him , or if it was a friend just crashing at his place.

You'd actually stayed there a few times on your own though, when you were watching the dogs. Mostly because it was just easier. But also because, as he claimed, he didn't want them destroying your place.

You'd protested that they'd never destroyed anything in their life, but he claimed that they had, you just hadn't seen it. Which seemed doubtful, but you also hadn't met any of them until they were a few months old, so you supposed it was possible. And, he also pointed out that the dog hair alone was a mess.  
You hadn't told him that even though they'd never even been in your house, you frequently pulled their hair out of your vacuum, because Lab hair was so insane that it literally got embedded in your clothing.

It was a small price to pay, really, though.

You typically had no problem making yourself at home when he was there - grabbing yourself a blanket if you were cold, or helping yourself to a drink.  
But, somehow, it felt different when you were there alone. In the quiet. The first time you'd stayed there alone, you'd actually brought yourself meals over, and he came home and questioned you as to why there was no food missing, laughing when you said you already had food made, so you just brought it over.  
After that, you'd gradually gotten more comfortable. This time, though, you'd spent the first night there hunkered up with all three dogs in his guest room, ending up watching a comedy special on Netflix, followed by an episode of Stephen Colbert.

You thankfully got off work early on Friday. You worked as a an academic advisor at The University of Toronto and, since it was nearing the end of the semester, your work load was really cut down quite a bit. You still worked throughout the summer, of course, as there were summer students and incoming freshmen, but it wasn't as constant and was also super flexible. Which was kind of convenient because it pretty much synced up with when Tyler would be back, so you tended to spend a lot of time together in the summer.

When you got back to his place on Friday, you pretty much immediately took all the dogs for a long, leisurely walk, enjoying the shade and quiet of a local park. When you got back to his place, you decided to bake muffins, especially considering you were definately not cooking tonight. All of the dogs had gone to sleep except for Gerry, who kept running around and dropping your all over the floor, and you were doing your best to not trip over him or any of the toys while trying to find the ingredients you needed. Occasionally you picked up a you, tossing it away so he'd go to chase it before coming back.

You'd turned on "Throwback Hip Hop Dance Party on Spotify, which was your go-to playlist for dancing and baking, and had sung along to "Golddigger" as you mixed the dry ingredients. "Drop It Like It's Hot" came on next, and you were, well, dropping it like it's hot, squatted down down on the floor, Gerry's front paws in your hands, dancing with him as you sung along. And then a pair of male legs came right in front of your eyesight and you screamed, loudly, the rest of the dogs coming running in from the other room barking at the same time you looked up to see that the legs were attached to Tyler's dad. "Shh....boys!" you yelled, but it wasn't really effective over the loud music. All three of them were barking, running around around the kitchen and looking around for a threat, sniffing Tyler's dad skeptically. You got knocked over by the force of them around you, falling back onto your butt, reaching up to the counter for your phone and shutting the music off.

"Shh...it's okay," you said, your voice calm this time, trying to pet them all at once, the hair on the back of their neck standing up and their tails poised, ready for action. "It's okay, I'm okay."

Two tongues licked your face at once, and then you were pushed down onto the kitchen floor, laying on your back with paws stepping all over you and noses in your face, and on your shoulders, as if investigating that you were indeed, alright. Finally, you managed to get what had to be at least 250 pounds of dog off you, sitting up and raising yourself to your feet.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he said with a laugh, looking at your face closely, "Tyler didn't tell you I was coming, did he?"

"Nope," you said trying to force the redness from your cheeks with your mind, "Which means it's his fault, not yours."

He laughed again, holding up what was in his hands, "I was coming to do something on the pool. Is that alright?" He asked the question like it was your house he was coming to.   
"Yeah, of course," you said, shrugging.

He went outside, and you went back to your baking, turning your music back on, but a little quieter this time, and you kept your dance moves more G-rated this time. He came back in as you were taking the muffins out of the oven, setting them on the cooling rack, and you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. "Everything alright?"

"Yep," he said easily, "Smells good in here."  
You smiled, "You should take a couple with you."

"Oh, that's okay. You must have worked hard on them."  
"I can't eat them all myself," you replied honestly. "And they're best when they're warm."

You sent him off with a couple in a plastic baggie, and then ordered your pizza. The night went much like the last, other than the half hour you spent debating whether you should download Tinder or Bumble to your phone again. And then the 15 minutes you spent trying to determine whether Tyler would care if you borrowed his dogs for a selfie to use as your profile picture to show that you were a dog person.

The following afternoon, you were chopping vegetables, because you'd finally decided to get your life together and meal prep seriously (plus Tyler's knives were sharper than yours, so the process went much quicker). But you kept getting this twinge of pain in your side. At first, you thought it was because you took all three dogs for a run this morning, which was not as pleasant as it sounded, and assumed you pulled something. But the pain continued to build and build until it morphed into something familiar that you couldn't ignore any longer.

You called Tyler's Mom as you were cleaning up your the kitchen, stopping every few minutes to bend over, hand clutched at you side, finally stopping and driving yourself to the hospital.

**************

You rolled to your side as you heard movement. It was so dark in your bedroom that you didn't know what time of day it was, and assumed it must be your sister coming over to stay with you for the night. You heard your bedroom door open and shut your eyes, pretending to sleep. There was a stumbled, followed by a "shit."

"Tyler?" you asked, opening one eye, your hand across your forehead, seeing him bent over, rubbing his knee where it had likely collided with your dresser. "Geez, you Seguin men really like to sneak up on people."  
He laughed. "Yeah, I was really disappointed he didn't have any video footage of that," he said.

You rolled a little more to the other side of the bed, pulling the blankets up tight around you, realizing that you were wearing pyjamas, and hadn't brushed your hair or showered for three days. "What are you even doing here?"  
"My mom said you were sick," he stepped closer to the bed, " I brought popsicles."

You smiled weakly, thinking that he'd assumed you had strep throat, which you seemed to get once a year, and always knocked you out for a couple of days. You frowned a little more, shifting onto your side, "how'd you even get in here?"  
"You gave me a key, remember?"

You were thinking that you hadn't, but then you recalled that you had given him a key, because he was supposed to take care of your mail when you went to Europe after you graduated with your Bachelor's degree. Which was four years ago. "I thought you said you lost it."  
He shrugged, "I found it."

" Oh," you said quietly, and let your eyes slide shut, like an extended blink.   
Before you could even fully open your eyes, you felt your bed dip as Tyler pressed his arm on it, leaning over like he was going to ask you something and you made a little noise of pain, seeing him frown with a concerned look on his face as you winced, rolling over away from him. "That is not something you do to someone who just had surgery," you moaned.

You heard him something but couldn't decipher it, and then felt his hand on your shoulder for a brief second like he want to roll you back over, but thought better of it. "You had surge

ry?" He asked, disbelief growing in his voice with each word he spoke.   
"Yeah," you responded, and you felt him sit down gently on the edge of your bed, near your feet.   
" Why...why didn't you call me?"

"I called your Mom," you said. You'd even double checked as soon as you could that she had the dogs. She'd even texted you to offer to bring you something, but you assured her you were all set.

He sighed heavily, "I didn't mean about the dogs, I meant about you."

"You weren't even here, what were you going to do?"   
"I could have come home," he said, enunciating each word. "You shouldn't be alone."

" I'm not alone."  
He looked around the room dramatically, "You look pretty alone to me."

It should have been funny. But he looked- and sounded- pissed off. And you didn't have the energy to deal with him pissed off right now.

"My mom stayed with me for two days," you said, "she just left this morning. And my sister is coming over after work to stay with me tonight."

His face seemed to relax a little at that, and you felt his hand over your leg through the blanket, giving your ankle a little squeeze. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
You shook your head, "It was just laparoscopic. It's just kind if tender if I move the wrong way."

He pursed his lips, still looking down at you, "Was it what you had in high school?"  
"Yep," you said softly. You'd had a similar procedure then, when you where first told you'd had endometriosis.

He laid down softly on his side on the bed next to you then, his head propped up on his hand looking at you seriously. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm," you murmured, but his eyes will still searching yours for a moment, until the alarm on your phone started blaring from your nightstand, and you groaned at the loud noise. Tyler got up from the bed, and a second later the annoying noise stopped.

"I need to take my pain meds," you said, easing yourself up on to your elbows.   
"I'll get them," he said, "where are they?"

You wanted to argue - you really did - because, of course you could get them yourself. But you were also really tired, so you just gave in. "In the kitchen."  
He turned to leave and you laid back down on your back, head against the pillows. "Tyler?"  
"Hmm?"  
"I think they're on the counter by the fridge."

"'K," he said, and you shut your eyes again, recalling what had happened back in high school, the last time you'd been recovering from surgery. For some reason this guy, Chris, had apparently started a rumour that you'd had an abortion, which was absurd, really. He'd always been pretty annoying, and was totally into Kirsten, which he didn't even hide. But, apparently, Tyler had completed decked him as Kirsten told you, since you weren't there to see it anyways. You were pretty certain that he was suspended for a week, and grounded for a month. You weren't entirely sure if he was just looking for a reason to punch the guy and finally found it, or if he actually morally objected to this guy and was trying to set him straight, but now you couldn't figure out why he hadn't just told his mom what had happened. Surely she would have at least reduced his punishment. And you knew that being grounded had pissed him off, because you very clearly remembered him complaining about it every lunch hour, between classes, and during classes.

Now, though, Tyler came back into your bedroom. He had a glass of what looked like juice in one hand, your stainless steel water bottle shoved under his arm. You sat up again, holding out your hand, and he pressed the pill into it. You popped it into your mouth, taking the glass of juice from his hand, swallowing the pill quickly. You didn't even have time to think about setting it on the nightstand, because he'd already taken it from you, setting it there next to the water bottle he must have set there already.

"Have you eaten today?" he asked, as you were fixing the pillows to lay back down on your back.  
"Yes," you answered honestly. Your mom had made you eat some oatmeal this morning before she'd left, and you'd also had a couple of chocolates from the box your good friend, Becca, had dropped by the hospital.

"Do you want me to get you a popsicle?"  
"No," you said, shutting your eyes, and then adding, "thanks."

You opened your eyes again and he was still just standing there, and you couldn't figure out why he wasn't just leaving.

"Do you want me to help you onto the couch?" he asked, "We could watch a movie or TV or something."

You shook your head, running your hand over your face. "I just want to sleep."  
He was shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. "Yeah, okay. So, I'll just be in the living room, so just yell if you need anything."  
"What? Tyler, you don't have to stay."

"It's no big deal. I'll just hang out until your sister gets here."  
"I'm fine," you made clear, "do you really think my mom wouldn't be here if I wasn't?"

He was looking down at you, a wrinkle appearing in the middle of his forehead, running his hand through his hair quickly, "Like you've never helped me after I had surgery."

"You would be helping because I just want to be alone," you croaked, and then took a deep, albeit shaky breath, "Seriously, I just want to sleep. And these pills knock me out anyways."

He said something, and you think it was "yeah" or "okay" but it could have been your name, and your eyes felt both way too try and way too watery, and all you wanted to do was shut them and go back to sleep. And you didn't want anyone there watching you or hovering over you or asking if you were okay.

To set your point straight, you pulled the covers, hard over your shoulder, rolling away so you were facing the wall, turning your back to him and shutting your eyes and trying not to think of anything. Finally, you heard the front door shut and, knowing that he left, let out the breath you had been holding, letting the pills make you wonderfully drowsy.

You woke again in a daze, like you had been every couple hours, but this time you heard snoring and your bed felt way too heavy and warm, and you weren't exactly sure where you were. You opened your eyes tentatively to see Marshall laying down by your feet and you let out a little laugh in disbelief. You turned over, reaching for the water bottle that was on your nightstand, and piece of paper covered with an unmistakable scrawl set under it and you read it as you took a few sips.

I left him food and water in the kitchen. Call me if he starts being a shit. I'm serious.

You smiled, setting everything back onto your nightstand and sitting up, rubbing your knuckles along the dog's snout until he opened his eyes, staring back at you. You patted the bed next to you as you laid back down, and Marshall got up, turning in a circle before curling up against chest. You were still smiling as you set your head back down against your pillows, resting your arm over him and petting him absentmindedly, running fingers through his fur as you fell back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

he next time you woke, your eyes felt a little less heavy, and you were starting to feel a little gross with having been in bed for days. Marshall was still in bed next to you, and you smiled again, rolling over and grabbing your phone. You hadn't looked at it since probably yesterday, and saw that Tyler had actually texted you a couple of times before he'd come over to ask if you needed anything.

Thank you 😊 you typed.   
Almost immediately, you received a response a simple 'yw'.

You also replied to your friend Danielle's text, letting you know she was going to be stopping by this evening to drop something off.

You were scrolling through Amazon, contemplating which book you should buy for your Kindle, when a knock sounded at the door. You stood up from the bed, padding to go answer It, and revealing your sister, Nicole, a backpack slung over her arm.

"Since when do you have a dog?" She asked, and you looked over your shoulder to see Marshall had followed you out of the bedroom.

"That's Marshall," you said, but her face still looked confused, "he's Tyler's."  
" Oh," she nodded, setting her bag down, and bending over to pet the brown Lab when he went over to greet the new person. "What's he doing here?"

"Tyler brought him over," you answered, but her eyes widened.   
"He gave you his dog?!"

" No, Nic, he did not give me his dog," you said, and then stopped because you didn't quite know how to put it into words, "he loaned me his dog."

"I still don't know why you're still friends with him, other than the dogs. He's a douche."

"He is not a douche," you laughed, because this seemed to be an ongoing debate that you had, where she'd mentioned something she'd read or heard that you knew 100% wasnt true. Although, sometimes it was, but it was only because of poor decision making skills or misinterpretations rather than douche-like tendencies. "You've met him before, anyways."

"He seemed like a douche in high school, too."

"Do you know any guy who went to our high school who didn't act like a douche at some point?" You asked, and watched as she thought it over and failed to come up with a response, laughing as you disappeared into the bathroom.   
You had finished washing your hands and had opened the bathroom door when you heard, "Ummm....y/n?"

You followed your sister's voice to the kitchen, first seeing a leash and the muffins you had made when you were at Tyler's house sitting in a plastic container on your kitchen table. You rounded the corner, and your sister was standing in front of the fridge, her arm out as if she was presenting it. You noticed a few of the bright pink and blue post-it notes you kept on your counter stuck on the fridge.

"Open This" read one, and then there was one right underneath it that just had a huge arrow pointing to the handle on the door. You opened the fridge, and right in front you saw a plastic take-out container with what looked like soup in it and, next to it, a plastic cup from your favourite juice place nearby the university holding some type of smoothie, complete with a straw sticking out of it. You raised your eyebrows, and shut the fridge door and then squatted down in front of the freezer drawer. "The good shit's in here" was written across two post-it because he apparently couldn't write small enough to fit it on one. You pulled the drawer open, and you saw the box of popsicles he had mentioned earlier, as well as a carton of Ben & Jerry's. And it was even the non-dairy kind.

"Not a douche," you said, grinning triumphantly as you stood back up.   
There was another knock on your door then, and both you and your sister yelled "It's open," simultaneously.

A moment later, Danielle stepped into your kitchen, and she had a pot of soup in her arms. "What are you...?" She looked at the fridge, and then at Marshall, who'd she met before actually, having come over to Tyler's with you a couple of times. She opened the fridge, setting the pot on a shelf. "Looks like someone beat me to it."

"Not a douche," you repeated, and then you noticed Danielle's confused face and explained, "Nicole thinks he's a douche."

"He's really nice actually," Danielle said, and you made a face at your younger sister like 'see?'

You had some of the smoothie, because you had absolutely no appetite but knew you needed to eat something. Danielle offered to help you with anything while she was over, and you admitted that you would really, really appreciated some help to wash your hair since you couldn't shower or bathe yet. So she was washing your hair in the kitchen sink, which took an extreme amount of conditioner since your hair was completely a mess of knots. It was slightly painful, but you actually felt a lot better once it was done. You were in your bedroom, getting changed into a clean pair of pajamas when there was yet another knock on your door.

You heard a murmur of voices, and then a unmistakable whistle. You were opening your bedroom door, as your sister was passing by, telling you "'Not a douche' is here."

Tyler was standing in your doorway, Cash next to him on a leash, and Marshall, who you'd heard him whistle for earlier, greeting his brother.  
You and Danielle exchanged a knowing look, and you had to bite your lip to try not to laugh.

"What did she say?" Tyler asked you.  
"Don't worry about it," you said, even though the three of you were laughing quietly, looking away from him.

"Oh-kay..." he said, his voice high and skeptical, "Girls are weird."  
You just laughed, raising your brows. "What are you doing here?"  
"Trading you," he said, gesturing to the dogs at his feet.  
"Huh?"

"I'm taking him," he said, gesturing at Marshall, "And giving you him," he gestured at Cash.  
"Why?" you laughed, even as you crouched down to unclasp Cash from his leash.

"Because then you have a dog at all times and don't have to worry about taking them out," he said, as if it was obvious.

"So, what you're just gonna keep switching me dogs?"  
"Maybe," he said playfully, "You can't have Gerry though."  
"Why not?"

"Because he's too hyper for you right now," he said, and your face drooped just a little bit when you remembered that you'd just had surgery. Somehow, you'd managed to forget for just a moment.

"Hey," you said softly, looking around to see that Danielle and Nicole were off in the kitchen, leaving you alone, and you looked up at Tyler's eyes, "Sorry for being so short with you earlier. I know you were just trying to help. I just, I was..."

He shrugged, interrupting you right then, "Don't worry about it. You weren't feeling good. It's understandable."

"Well," you corrected automatically, and he glared at you for a moment. "I am sorry though. And thank you for stocking my fridge."  
"You don't have to apologize or thank me," he said, "You can give me a hug though."

You smiled, stepping into him, one hand going around your back and the other behind your head, pulling you to his chest. You let your eyes shut for a moment, before you pulled apart.

You thought he would leave afterwards, especially when your sister and Danielle declared that you should have a girl's night because, apparently, the new season of The Bachelorette was starting tonight but he just claimed that he loved girl's nights, although he did look briefly to you, as if to double check, and you shrugged, telling him he could stay if he really wanted to.

And, of course, both of the dogs tried to jump on your sectional, your sister opting for the pouf you had in the corner of the room.   
"Marshall, Cash, off," Tyler said sternly, snapping his fingers as you tried not to laugh when they ignored him.

"They can go on the couch, I don't care," you said.

Tyler had already plopped down on the corner of the couch, stretching his arm out over the back. "I won't have anywhere to sit if they're on there," he complained, and then sort of rubbed his nose like he was getting a headache, "Also, can you try not to undermine my authority in front of them?"

"Okay," you laughed, sitting down next to him. Your sister was giving you a weird look from across the room, so you asked her a quick, "what?" but she just shook her head.

You watched The Bachelorette for awhile before you got up to get some ice cream. Truthfully, it wasn't a show you would normally watch, but you really didn't have the mental capacity for anything else at the moment.

You sat back down on the couch, knees pulled into your chest as you ate your ice cream and listened to the commentary from your friends and sister. Marshall was actually curled up next to your sister, while Cash was stretched out with his back against the couch under yours and Tyler's feet.

Once you finished your ice cream, you set the bowl down on the table in front of you and then sat back, shivering slightly.

"Cold?" Tyler asked you softly, and you were certain you were the only one who could hear it. You nodded. With the cold ice cream and the fact that your hair was still wet, goosebumps were starting to break out over your arms.   
He reached around you to grab the blanket that was behind your back, setting it down over you, and then kind of reached his arm around you, rubbing his hand up and down your arm as if to warm you up. The next thing you knew, you were sort of laying sideways on the sectional, legs curled up beside you, leaning against Tyler. Your eyes were starting to feel heavy again, and you knew you should probably lay down properly, but you couldn't really turn the other way since that was the side your incision was on. So your cheek rested against his chest, and his shirt felt so soft against your skin, and he smelled warm and spicy, and something else you couldn't quite identify, so you just let your eyes shut, listening to all that was happening around you until you fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of your week was spent recovering. Which wasn't going well, considering there was nothing to do but sit there. You regretted that you had taken the week off work, because it meant you had to try and spend every waking hour trying not to think.

Honestly, though, you spent a lot of time sleeping. You weren't sure if it was the medication, the process of your body trying to bounce back from what it had been through, or something else, but you were thankful for the drowsy sensation that just let you close your eyes and take a reprieve from your thoughts.   
When Monday rolled around, you were thankful to be back to work, throwing yourself back into helping students prepare for the summer semester. Tyler had asked you to hang out a couple of times, but you had explained that you were tired. He'd even called you while you were at work, which was unusual considering he typically didn't call you, and he didn't seem to buy that you were busy working, considering the school year was winding down, but he let it slide.  
It wasn't that you were avoiding him, specifically, but you just weren't feeling like being social. At all.

Once Thursday came around though, you were having trouble coming up with any more excuses.

He'd texted you earlier in the day, inviting you over, and you said you'd see how you felt when you got home from work, but then he was complaining that it felt like he hadn't seen you forever.

You'd taken your time when you got home from work, grabbing the wrap you'd bought from a cafe on campus and eating it slowly, taking the time to wash your plate and put it in the dishwasher before you even looked at your phone.

Tyler: We're having a bonfire. Come by for a bit.  
You: I don't know, I'm kind of tired....  
Tyler: Please. You don't have to stay late.  
Tyler: No party. And you don't work tomorrow

You ran your hand over your face, frustrated for some reason that he knew you were on your summer schedule, and usually had Fridays off. And you were just contemplating how to respond when your Snapchat notification came up, and you saw right away that it was from Tyler. You tapped the notification to open it, a picture of Gerry filling your phone, sitting on what looked to be the kitchen floor, looking up at at the camera. The caption read simply 'He misses you.'  
The picture had just barely closed when you got a text notification. From Tyler. Again. Also you still have my tupperware and have to give it back.

You sighed, but also smiled, collecting your car keys, the clean tupperware you'd had sitting on your kitchen table for over a week now, and grabbing a hoodie in case it got cold (or if you just felt like pulling your hood over your head, if you were being honest), heading off to Tyler's house.

There were a couple of cars in the driveway when you arrived, and you contemplated just walking right around back, but you could hear laughter coming from inside the house, so you tested the front door and, finding it unlocked, let yourself in. You followed the voices to the kitchen, a series of faces turning to look at you as you walked into the room.

"You came," Tyler said, grinning widely, his voice going up at the end like he was about to start singing.

"Yeah," you said, stepping further into the room. He was standing next to a tall brunette, who had some seriously frizz-free gorgeous wavy hair. To the point where, if you were feeling social, you'd probably compliment her about it. And likely try to find out what products she used.

"This is Meghan," he said, by way of introduction, "She's Josie's friend."

Josie, who was on the other side of the kitchen, sort of arched her eyebrow in acknowledgment and smiled at you as if to say hello, while you smiled and said 'hi' to Meghan, hoping that your smile didn't look as fake as it felt.

"This is my best fraannnddd," Tyler said suddenly, his arm catching around your shoulder and pulling you against him, until you could feel his lips against your temple. You briefly wondered if he was drunk, with the way he said 'friend', but he really didn't smell like alcohol at all.

And sometimes it was hard to tell, quite honestly, because sometimes he acted like he was drunk for sure, when you knew with 100% certainty he hadn't had a drop of alcohol.

You turned your back to the group then, putting the tupperware container you still had in your hand away in the drawer where it belonged which, was, full of various containers and lids all jumbled together, which was stressing you out. But, it also confirmed what you suspected: that he didn't actually need that container back right then, and was just trying to guilt you into coming over.  
"Random question," Tyler announced then, and you weren't sure who he was talking to until you turned around and stood back up, to see his eyes were on you. "Did you cut up a bunch of vegetables and put them in my fridge?"  
"Yeah," you laughed slightly, "I was meal prepping."

"Meal - what?" he asked.  
"Meal prepping," you said, and he was shaking his head cluelessly like he had never heard of such a thing before.

"You know, where you prep all your fruits and veggies and stuff on the weekend and then you're all set for meals for the week. It's super helpful," Meghan tried.  
He was still looking at the two of you like he didn't quite believe this nonsense. "That sounds like way too much work."

"That's the whole point. You do it all in one day and then you don't have to do it all spread out during the week," you said, but he was still looking skeptical.  
"Anyways," he interrupted, "I kind of ate it."

He was looking guilty and you couldn't help but laugh, "That's okay." You'd actually forgotten about it. And it wasn't like you'd been cooking.  
"I thought my Mom left it there for me," he explained.

"You thought your Mom cut up a bunch of vegetables for you?" you asked with a laugh.  
"Yeah, when she was here to get the..." he stopped when he saw your face, "shut up. It was a better guess than thinking you were doing some weird meal prepping shit."

"Obviously it works, though, if you ate it," Meghan said, and you grinned triumphantly because this girl got it.

"Yeah, you gotta up your meal prep game, man," Mike said, and you laughed.  
Shortly thereafter, you decided to go join the others outside around the fire. But, as you were walking out, Tyler was trailing behind you, grabbing your gentle around the hip, holding you back just slightly.

"Hey," he said, keeping his voice low, almost whispering, "How are you feeling?"

And you were irrationally pissed off at him right then, because you were just starting to feel like yourself for a moment, and now it was all coming flooding back. "I'm good," you said, meaning it. Focusing on how your stitches had come out a week ago, how you weren't physically in pain or tender anymore, how, other than a small scar, nobody else would even know it had happened at all.  
But, as you went outside, you appreciated the fact that it was dark, staring into the fire and listening to it crackle, watching the ashes float away and the logs shift, pulling your knees to your chest and lifting your hood around your head, as if you were cold. There were conversations going on around you, something about fishing, and something about basketball, you thought, but you didn't participate, just adding in "mmms" or nods of acknowledgment when someone tried to include you in the conversation. Mostly, though, you tried to occupy yourself with the dogs, because then you were present and could pretend you were listening, but were otherwise occupied.

Finally, people started to leave in a group, sparked by the mention that tomorrow was Friday and they had to get up early for work.

You took this as your out, standing up and going to follow everyone back inside the house to leave, but Tyler appeared beside you, gripping your wrist, and you looked up at him in question. "Hang on a sec, I want to talk to you," he looked back to the group and then back to you again, "Just wait here. Give me five minutes."

You opened your mouth to talk, to try and come up with an excuse like you were tired. You wanted to lie and say that you had to work tomorrow after all, but you were a terrible liar, and knew your voice would come out all squeaky. And he was looking at you, a combination of his eyes being serious and pleading, so you gave in, going back to sit on the chair you'd been in, watching the fire as the voices dissipated and disappeared. You grabbed Gerry, picking him up and pulling him into your lap, seeing as how the older two had likely already gone to bed or at least inside, his heavy weight on your legs. You heard the back door squeak open after a few minutes, and all at once Tyler was back, "Y'know," he said, walking towards you, "I'm beginning to think they like you more than me."  
"They do not," you said, even as you held Gerry to you like a security blanket, "It's equal."

He laughed, setting another couple of logs on the fire, and then using a stick to push them into position, sending a wave of smoke your way, making you cough a little. "I don't know," he mused, "My dad said they practically attacked him to protect you."

"They did not," you protested, "they were just running around barking. They didn't even know what they were barking at. Or what I screamed at."  
"You screamed?" he asked with a laugh.

"Yes, it scared the shit out of me."  
He laughed again, leaning over to pet Gerry, "Well, it's good to know they have at least some guard dog tendencies."

He sat down next to you then, with a groan, like it was killing him to lower his body into the seat. You leaned towards him slightly because he was still petting Gerry, but he pulled away.

"Don't get to close to me," he said, and you frowned, "The last time I cuddled with you, you drooled all over me. It was kind of gross."  
"I did not!"

"Yeah, you did," he said, "I mean, you were on drugs at the time so I'll forgive you, but I'm not quite over it yet."

You laughed slightly, him moving beside you and getting more comfortable, "So..." he said, "what's going on with you?"

"Nothing much," you shrugged, and you couldn't figure out why you had to stay just so he could ask you if you had anything exciting going on with your life, which you didn't. Unless he did, and he was only asking you that out of courtesy, expecting you to ask him next. You were about to do just that, when he spoke again.

"I'm serious," he said, turning his head to look at you, and then looking back at the fire. "I've barely seen you at all in the past two weeks."

"I'm here, not, aren't I?"  
"And you've just sat there and barely said two words," he flicked his hand out frustratingly and then lifted his hat up, ran his hand through his hair, and then replaced the hat again. "Did I do something?"

"No," you said immediately, "Of course not."  
"Then why are you....?" he asked.

You exhaled trying to focus on the fire, "I just....it's not you. It's me."  
"Are you breaking up with me?" he asked teasingly, and you couldn't help but laugh.

"No," you said, thankful that he cracked a joke, because you body relaxed for just a second. "I just...I've got a lot going on right now."

"....like?" he prompted, and when you were silent, added, "C'mon, talk to me."  
"It's...." you said, "well, it's kind of a female problem."

"Not sure if you knew this, but I'm really good with females."  
"A female anatomy problem" you clarified.

"Oh," he said, and looked like he was about to say something else, but then he frowned, leaning closer to you and looking concerned, "but I thought you said you were okay?"

"I am," you said immediately, "It's just..."

"Did something else happen? Are you sick?"  
"No, no, I'm good. I'm healthy," you said, even thought you weren't sure if the word 'healthy' was quite right.

He seemed to relax at that, sinking back into his seat, "So what's going on then?"

You didn't say anything again, but this wasn't a topic you usually broached with him. Sure, you'd mention that you were PMS-ing or had cramps, but you didn't go into any more detail than that.

"C'mon, you know you can talk to me about anything," he said, "and something's obviously bothering you."

You sighed again, looking into the fire, "So, I thought I ruptured a cyst, but I guess my ovary was twisting..." You looked over at him then to see his reaction to the word 'ovary', and his face was scrunched up. "See, i knew you'd be grossed out by this."

"I'm not grossed out," he said, "Seriously, I don't know why you think this is going to gross me out."

"Because I talked about my period around you once and you could not handle it." You remembered it distinctly, in fact, because you'd been talking to Kirsten about how heavy hyour period had been, the both of you going into kind of a lot of detail because you'd kind of forgot that he was in the room, until he made this weird noise and you'd looked over at him and he looked scarily pale, and also like he was both going to throw up and pass out at the same time.

" When?" He asked, his face getting this far off look of contemplation like he was going each and every moment in his life and then he sighed, running a hand over his face, "Okay, I was, like fourteen. I've matured since then."

You shot him a doubtful glance.   
" In some ways," he clarified.

" You made a face," you pointed out.  
"I made a face because it sounded fucking painful. I don't even have ovaries and it made my insides hurt," he was pouting a little, arms crossed over his midsection like it actually was hurting him. He nodded at you, like he was expecting you to continue.

"I swear, if you pass out and fall in that fire...."

He laughed. "I'm not going to pass out. I promise." He reached over, patting your hand a couple of times as if to reassure you and then pulling back.

"So, when that happens it can be really bad because it cuts off blood flow and you can lose the whole ovary. And she got there in there in time but, like," you took in a shaky breath, taking one hand off of Gerry and running your fingers through your hair, "I guess I have a lot of adhesions? And she took a bunch out, but it's just going to keep coming back." You shut your mouth then, swallowing hard, and noticing how strange your eyes felt, like you'd been holding them open for too long. They felt wet, moisture collecting on the edges. You wiped them quickly, trying to prevent it from running down your face and making it look like you were crying. The combination of the smoke and the cool night air always made your eyes water anyways, and it probably wasn't a good idea to have this conversation here, yet here you were.

"So what does that mean?" Tyler asked, "You have to have more surgeries?"  
"Yeah, but....well, she," you stared into the fire again, realizing that this was the first time you'd said this out loud, because your Mom was with you when you'd talked about it to the doctor either the second or third time, which you couldn't remember. And you'd told your sister and Danielle over text message, and now you were realizing it was because letters were so much easier that words.

"She...suggested having my eggs frozen if I want to have kids. And I don't know what to do."

You couldn't help but notice how your voice broke when you spoke, and you expected to just sit there in silence, other than crackling of the fire for a moment after your confession, but Tyler's head snapped to look at you. "What? You've always said you wanted to have kids. Did you change your mind?"

"No, no. I still want kids."

"Then why don't you - ?" he asked and trailed off, "Is it a cost thing? Because, I swear to god, I can help you."

"No, my insurance covers it actually. But - thank you."

He gave you a soft smile. "Then why aren't you just doing it? If your work is paying for it."

"Because," you said, '"it's a lot. It's not a simple procedure. There's hormones and anesthesia , and it's not just..." you made a gesture as your belly, signaling and in-and-out motion. Not to mention, you weren't thinking you'd have to deal with this yet, and your head was just in a whirlwind at the intensity and seemingly finality of it all.

"Yeah but," Tyler started and then stopped himself, "you've always said you wanted kids. For as long as I've known you."

"So you think I should do it?"  
He sighed, and you suspected he was trying not to tell you what to do. "I'm just worried you're going to regret it if you don't. And, like, if you don't use them, or whatever, it's not like you're really losing anything, right?"

You pursed your lips, considering it. Because, when you looked at it like that, it did kind of make sense. "Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right," you said. But even though it was now feeling like something you needed to do, it still felt intense and overwhelming.

Tyler glanced at you, "And you know, if you decide to do it. And you need someone to drive you or...do anything really, I'm here."

"Yeah?" you asked.

"Of course," he responded, like it was no question, his arm reaching around your shoulder, pulling you to him, placing a kiss on the top of your head and then releasing you so you could rest your head on his shoulder, "Love you."

"Love you too," you responded, letting your head rest there for just a moment longer.

**  
"Clubs," Tyler said, setting an eight down on the overturned pile, grinning widely. You were sitting on his back deck in the late afternoon, playing Crazy Eights. At first, you thought he was joking when he he suggested playing that game, but apparently he was not.

You sighed dramatically, picking up card after card which were not clubs. He made a show of being bored, waiting for you, and pulling out his phone. "Hmm.." he said, looking up at you from what you assumed to be a text message, "You want to come to Top Golf tomorrow?"

"Can't," you said, finally uncovering a club and smacking it down on top of the pile. "I have a date."

He pulled with tongue between his lips, arching an eyebrow, "With who?" he asked, setting a seven of clubs down quickly.

"Whom," you corrected, taking the opportunity to play your seven of hearts, because you needed to switch the suit. That last play really screwed you over.  
"Whom do you have a date with?"

"No, that would be who, uh, nevermind," you said, waving your hand. It was a really bad habit you'd picked up working at the University where everyone was constantly correcting each other's grammar. You'd found it super annoying at first, but you'd somehow picked it up yourself, "And he's a professor. Of history, I think."

"Eww," Tyler said, his face scrunched up in disgust, even as he played.   
"What?" you laughed.  
"He sounds boring. And stuffy."

"You don't even know him!"  
"So you're telling me he's not?" Tyler asked, clearly expecting you to agree with him.

"Not sure, I haven't met him," you shrugged, "Danielle set me up with him, I think he teaches at York? He's friends with her brother, I think."

Tyler set his cards down on the table abruptly, "You let Danielle set you up on a blind date with a history professor?" He sounded absolutely appalled.

"Yes," you said, looking at him like was crazy, his mouth still wide open in shock even as you took your turn. "Tyler, go."

"I'm sorry," he said, keeping his cards on the table, his hand coming down on top of it, "But I just cannot believe you are going on a date with a history professor. "

You laughed at his outburst, "You don't even know anything about him."  
"I know enough," he said with finality, "You should not be dating a history professor. Or a professor of any kind, really."

"Who should I be dating then?" you asked with your eyebrow raised, expecting him to fall silent. But, apparently, he had an answer prepared.

"A high school teacher," he said, picking up his cards again and studying them, "Maybe a P.E. teacher, or a math or science teacher whocoaches...hmm...soccer or volleyball. Either that or some guy in tech. Like an app developer."  
"An app developer?"

"Mhmm," he affirmed casually, taking his turn, "You have a fuckin' Master's degree. You need someone smart. Obviously."  
"And you don't think a professor is smart?"

He sighed dramatically, like you just weren't getting it. "Yes, but he'll also be boring as well. Either that or creepy. Like, hypersexual because he hasn't gotten laid in the last five to six years. And I bet he also lives in a basement, somewhere, and never even sees the sun."

You frowned, shaking your head with a laugh, "You're ridiculous. Do you seriously think Danielle would set me up with a creep?"

"Probably not," he relented, "Still, I would do a way better job picking a guy. Just sayin'."

"Well, I don't see you setting me up on any blind dates."  
"Hmmm..." he hummed, his eyes glancing back and forth, letting you know that he was thinking, "Yeah, I don't know any guys that are good enough for you. That are single, anyways."

He was silent again, as he played his card, and then you were sighing, picking up more cards from the deck again, thinking just how crazy this game was. Maybe that's why it was called Crazy Eights, actually. But there absolutely no strategy involved. And you were doing horribly, and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Give me your phone," Tyler said suddenly.  
"What?"  
"Give me your phone," he repeated, and somehow you were handing it over without even thinking or questioning what he was planning to do with it. Which wasn't probably a very good idea.

"What happened to your Tinder? Or Bumble?" he asked, scrolling through your phone rather quickly.  
"Oh, I deleted them."  
"Why?"

"Because they were starting to annoy me," you said, thinking back to how many times you added them and then rage quit them, only to try them out again with hope, only to follow the same pattern, "90% of the conversations I've had on there are just guys saying 'hi, how are you?' and then I answer and that's it. Or I spend time coming up with a great opening line on Bumble and they never even respond."

"Hmmm..." he said again, sitting your phone down next to him. After he played again, making sure that you noticed he had only one card left, he picked it up again, scrolling through it. "You've got, like, fifteen messages on here. "

"What are you even doing?"  
"Finding you a date," he responded, like it was obvious.   
"I'm sorry, what?"

He stopped, grinning up at you. "I had an idea. You go on that date with that professor guy Danielle picked for you, and I'm gonna find you a guy on here, and we'll see whose is better."

"Whose is better? Tyler, they're men, not something you evaluate."  
He rolled his eyes, "Who you have a better connection with."  
"This sounds like a bet," you said. "Are you just trying to get me to give you something if you win?"

"When I win," he clarified, setting his final card down and winning the game, grinning widely at you, "And no, I just get bragging rights."

You just stared at him inquisitively.  
"So, you in?" he asked, still holding your phone in his hand, "Obviously, you can vet whoever you go out with first."

He looked so excited about the idea, honestly, like it was some kind of competition. Which, apparently, it was. "What's in it for me?"

"True love?" he asked, and you laughed gathering up the cards, setting them in the back in the package. You got up, because Tyler seemed completely transfixed on your phone, going inside to refill your drink and put the cards away.

"What kind of guys do you like?" he shouted so loudly at you from outside that you were certain that the neighbours heard him. When you didn't respond he shrugged, and then kept looking down at the phone and back up at you through the window, seemingly contemplating each option before swiping on direction or another. It was a little unnerving, actually.

He looked up at you when you came back outside, "I've seriously seen ten guys already on their who have pictures with Auston Matthews. Why is that?"  
You shrugged, sitting back down, and taking a sip of your drink. But, out of the corner of your eye, you could see a suspicious smile come over his face. "Hey, you got any pictures of us together on here?"

"I don't know, probably?"  
You could see his finger hovering, probably going to scroll through your camera roll, "You don't have any naked pictures on here, do you?"

"No," you laughed.  
"Huh, too bad," he said, still looking down at your phone, his finger scrolling until he seemed to find what he wanted, tapping on your phone triumphantly.

"What one are you using?"

"One from last summer. Over there," he said, pointing over towards the water, but still not looking up from your phone. You were pretty sure that you were both wearing bathing suits in that picture and it certainly wasn't a picture you'd post on a dating app, but you weren't going to argue right now.

"Ooooh," he said, "this guy has a nice car. Like really nice."

You could tell just from the movement of his finger that he'd swiped right enthusiastically. And then he was back to tapping again, typing something, and then looking up at you briefly, "This guy wants to know if you're into hooking up. Actually, he says he'll lick your pussy for an hour. Is that something you'd be into?"

You raised your eyebrows in disbelief. "I need help getting a date, not a hook-up."

He shrugged. "Fair enough. Yeah, I guess finding a hook-up is pretty easy," he looked back at your phone in his hands, and frowned as his eyes moved, reading something across the screen, "Oh, that is so inappropriate. Unmatch."

You weren't sure how much more inappropriate it could be then what he just said, but you weren't going to ask any questions. He seemed totally into what he was doing, so you got up, walking over and sitting down in the grass, stretching your legs out and looking out at the water, occupying yourself by playing the with dogs.

"Ha!" Tyler said suddenly, and you looked over at him, "This guy asked if you liked hockey, and I said not really, and he just said 'dot dot dot don't you know who that guy is?'" He started laughing, and you just grinned, shaking your head and going back to your game of tug-of-war.

"No, that's mine," you said in your doggy voice, moving your hand back and forth, "I'm gonna get it."

Tyler whistled then, and you assumed he was calling one of the other dogs, but then he yelled, "Look at me, too!" and it took you a second to realize that he was not using his dog voice. You turned your head quickly, squinting at the sun, but you could see him holding your phone up, snapping a picture of your playing with the dogs. You were pretty sure you looked terribly, especially because he'd taken the picture completely unexpected, but he looked at it, and nodded, and then went back to what he was doing.

You continued playing with the dogs for probably about 40 minutes, Tyler on your phone still at the table the entire time, making comments every now and again. "Are you free Thursday night?" he asked, and you considered it. "Yeah, sure, that's fine."

By now the dogs had all collapsed around you, panting and laying on the grass next to you, tuckered out, and you laid back, propping yourself up on your on your elbows. Tyler walked over, laying down on the grass among the pile, passing your phone over to you. "He's picking you up at 7:30 Thursday night."  
You cringed, stopping from shoving your phone back into your pocket. "Please tell me you did not give some guy off the internet my address."

"Of course not," Tyler said, seemingly offended that you even though he would do such a thing. "I gave him mine."

"You what?"

"I'm a slight disadvantage here, so I need to meet the guy for five minutes and make sure he isn't insane. Or weird. Or not who he said who he is. Otherwise, I get a redo."

"Oh really?"

"Mhmm...it's just fair," he said, crossing his legs decidedly and leaning back, "Not that Danielle has a chance anyways, because I know you best."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Some needle/shot discussion in this one, if you're bothered by that.

You hated to admit it, but Tyler was right about the date with the history professor. Jeff, it turned out his name was.

It wasn't bad, by any means, but it certainly wasn't good either. He was just so...dry. And he was very nice and tried to keep the conversation going, but there just wasn't any chemistry.

You hated to admit it, but Tyler was right about the date with the history professor. Jeff, it turned out his name was.

It wasn't bad, by any means, but it certainly wasn't good either. He was just so...dry. And he was very nice and tried to keep the conversation going, but there just wasn't any chemistry.

To make things worse, he'd taken you to a fancier restaurant than you were used to. It was lovely, really, but it just wasn't your vibe.

So, now you were were going over to Tyler's for date #2, which still seemed a little ridiculous. As if first dates weren't already intimidating enough, now you were going to have to explain to this guy why he was picking you up at your best friend's house.

You stepped out of your car, grabbing your bag, and making your way into the front door, finding it unlocked,.As per usual.

All three dogs greeted you pretty much as soon as you stepped in the door, tails wagging with excitement.

"Hey, where are you guys going?" You heard Tyler ask as he rounded the corner. Once he sawy you his question was answered and he immediately gave you a once over, letting out a low whistle in appreciation. "You trying to get laid tonight?"

Without even responding, you turned on your heel, heading back towards the front door, but Tyler caught your wrist, "Where are you going?"

"Home," you said, "To get changed."

"Why?" he asked, frowning, "You look great."

"You just said I looked like I was trying to get laid!" Which was not the look you were going for. You'd put a lot of work into the outfit, actually, selecting a deep blue maxi dress with thin white stripes that hung over your body like a column, except from where it was cinched at the waist. The straps were thin around your shoulders, but it had a high neck, so it wasn't like you were showing off cleavage. You'd kept your make-up and hair simple, pulling half of it back and letting the other half fall on your shoulders. You had thought it was the perfect first date option.

Apparently not.

"I meant you looked cute-hot or classy-hot not...slutty hot?" He said, like he wasn't quite sure what to call it, "Don't change."

"You're sure?" You asked tentatively, nerves creeping into your voice.

"Positive," he nodded, "And no pressure, right? You're only just meeting your future husband tonight."

"God," you rolled your eyes, sitting down on the couch, and Gerry immediately started jumping on you.

"See," Tyler said, sliding onto the couch next to you, "he thinks you look pretty."

You laughed, petting the dog behind the ears, "So are you going to tell me anything about this guy, or am I going in completely blind?"

" Well," Tyler started, setting his hands on his knees and leaning forward, "his name is Mark. He's a software developer. And he doesn't have a wife or kids." He was looking at you like you were supposed to be impressed with this fact. In fact, Tyler looked more excited than you felt, which was really weird.

"That's all you know about him?" You gawked.

"Of course not," he assured you, "he ran a marathon last year, and you run. He likes food, and you love baking. You could make him cookies. He also likes watching movies. You like watching movies."

You raised your eyebrows, and you wanted to run your hand over your face, but you'd probably smudge your make-up, so you held back. "You do realize that literally everyone likes food, right? And I'm pretty sure 90% of the guys on that thing have 'watching movies' listed as a hobby."

"Well, I can't find out everything for you," Tyler said, "he did seem to have a great personality though. He's pretty funny, and he seems pretty easy going too, plus he's good looking."

You laughed at the last comment, running your hands over your thighs and trying to calm your nerves. It really wasn't like you, honestly, to go on one yet alone two blind dates. But you'd realized that you'd have to start putting yourself out there, no matter how strange it might seem. But that didn't mean first dates got any less nerve wracking.

You'd set up Danielle calling you with a fake emergency, as you always did, but you were now starting to regret agreeing to Tyler's plan to have your date pick you up from here, because that meant you didn't have your car. Not to mention, you'd now have to try to explain to this guy why he was picking you up from another guy's house.

And you didn't want to tell him what you were doing, obviously, lest he feel like a pawn in your dating game. Really, you were just trying to get out of your comfort zone.

" What are we going to tell him?" You asked in alarm.

"Huh?" Tyler asked, looking over at you and clearly confused.

" What are we going to tell that guy...Mark, about why you're here?"

"Oh, I'm your roommate," he shrugged, "You live here."

"I'm your roommate?"

"Mhmm," he said, "That way he knows you have someone waiting up for you."

"Tyler, you don't have to..."

"Too bad, I am," he said with finality, then smiled playfully, poking you in the side, "Besides, you need to tell me all about it afterwards."

He looked at his watch and then sighed, running a hand over his face, "He's late," Tyler mumbled, setting his feet up on the ottoman, "You should have all your dates pick you up from my place."

"What? Why?" you asked with a laugh.

"So I can assess them, " he said, settling back onto the couch, "intimidate them a little bit."

"Intimidate them?" you asked, "Tyler, I'm not one of your sisters."

"Duh," he said, sticking his tongue out at you and then waving his hand, "But the same standards still apply. Mostly. And I generally don't tell my sister she looks hot."

"Standards?" you asked, "God, don't you remember what happened the last time you told Candace she couldn't date that guy? And you think that's going to work on me?"

"Nope," he replied, "But you can't blame a guy for trying."

Finally, you saw a car pull into the driveway and started to hurriedly lint roll dog hair off your dress, smoothing the fabric down when you were done, just before there was a knock at the door.

"So, yeah, just text me if you decide to go back to his place," Tyler said, raising his eyebrows suggestively as there was a second knock at the door.

"Tyler!" you said, swatting him on the arm and rushing to the front door, pulling it open, to reveal a man standing there who was just poised to knock again. "Hi, sorry, my roommate was stopping me from getting to the door."

You looked at him as you spoke and he was, as Tyler had said, good looking, actually. He was slim, hair swept all off to the side, and he had a nice smile. "That's okay," Mark said, "Sorry I'm late,. I got kind of turned around."

"That's alright," you said brightly, turning your head to glare briefly at Tyler, who was standing there watching your interaction with his arms crossed, realizing that he probably hadn't even given the poor guy directions.

"Well, it's nice to meet you," Mark said, and you let out a little 'oh' when he stepped forward, giving you a hug.

When you pulled back, you saw Tyler step towards you, arms still crossed, extending his hand when he got close, "Hey, I'm Tyler."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I know," Mike said, and you could see his eyes widen slightly, even though he tried to hide it.

Oh god.

And then, of course, they were talking about hockey. And then, somehow, the conversation turned to some golf course you'd never even heard of, and then they were having an in-depth discussion about what club to use off the tee on the seventh hole, and you were just standing there, bored out of your mind.

Finally, you caught Tyler's eye, and his gaze flipped back to you quickly, as if he just remembered you were there. "Oh, uh, you two should probably get going."

Mike somehow seemed surprised to see you still standing there, "Oh, right."

"Don't keep her out too late!" Tyler yelled as you made your way out the door, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

"I mean, I saw the picture you had with Tyler Seguin on your profile, but I didn't think you actually knew him," Mark said after you'd pulled off Tyler's street.

"Yep," you said simply, looking out the window and wondering briefly if he was going to refer to Tyler as 'Tyler Seguin' from here on out. You bit your lip, holding back the tidbit that it had actually been Tyler he'd been talking to the whole time, not you, for worry the guy might lose his mind.

" You look nice," he said, glancing down at your dress even thought you were sitting down and the seatbelt was cutting into the fabric. You frowned, pulling out a piece of blonde dog hair that was woven through an area on your dress that was dark blue.

"Thanks," you smiled softly, looking over at him as he drove, "You do, too."

Thankfully the restaurant you were headed to was actually quite close, which made your nerves calm a bit, knowing that you could walk back to Tyler's quite easily.

Mark pulled out your chair for you, a gesture which was very much not necessary but you appreciated his thoughtfulness. "So," he said, once he had sat down and the waitress had taken your drink orders, "What do you do for a living?"

" I'm an academic advisor," you said, stopping yourself before you said 'at The University of Toronto' because you realized he probably didn't need to know where you worked, not yet, at least. You were so used to dating guys that you met naturally or through friends, bit on a dating site, so you had to remind yourself of this fact.

" Oh?" He said, leaning forward as if he was interested. "What subject?"

"Humanities and social sciences," you said, thanking the waitress as she delivered your drink, and you took a sip.

"I hated university," Mark said, and you pursed your lips, waiting for him to realize what he had said but he didn't.

" Well, I like working there," you said, and then you asked him about what type oif software development he did. It turned out he worked for a construction company and he talked, at length, about how he created a program for inventory management, billing, and payroll. It sounded boring, quite honestly, but you followed along because you always found it interesting to learn what people did at their jobs.

"How long have you been living with Tyler Seguin?" Mark asked.

Oh my God, he was actually doing the thing you were worried about.

" Oh...uhhh.. a year? Two?" You were such a horrible liar and hoped he pick up on it, "We don't really live together, not really, since he's not really there often? But, I mean, we've been friends for a long time so, I just kind of watch his house?"

"Makes sense," Mark said, nodding, and then the conversation fell silent and you were trying to wrack your brain for conversation topics. "So, who's your team?"

"My team?" You repeated, because you were instantly thinking that he was asking you whether you were gay or not, but your rational brain was telling you that shouldn't be the case.

"Your hockey team," he said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Oh, I don't really watch hockey. I mean, I'll watch if it's on, but..." you were absentmindedly using your straw to stir your drink.

Mark's eyes widened from across the table, "But you're...?"

"Friends with Tyler?" you asked, "Yeah, but I've been known him since high school. I'm not friends with him just because he plays hockey."

Mark seemed to find this concept difficult to comprehend for some reason but, luckily, you remembered that Tyler had told you he'd run a marathon, so you brought that up. Not that running was much of a conversation topic, other than the fact that you both did it. Although, you certainly were never running a marathon, so you really didn't care too much about hearing about the hell of that.

The rest of the dinner went much like the first portion, although you were kind of beginning to realize that dinner wasn't the best option for a first date.

When he finally dropped you back off at Tyler's house, you were actually quite relieved that the date was over. Mark walked you to the door which was all very nice and lovely, but you were already pretty certain you weren't going to see him again. You opened the door as you were waving goodbye, and stepped inside, basically walking straight into Tyler's chest.

"Jesus christ," you mumbled under your breath.

Tyler laughed a little, stepping back so you could come inside, looking down at you as you bent to slip your sandals off, wiggling your toes that were now free of their confines. "You didn't even kiss him goodnight," he said, his bottom lip sticking out like he was pouting.

"Yeah, I usually don't kiss on the first date," you said. Unless it was super good, of course.

"Classy," Tyler responded, his eyebrows raised.

And then you thought about how he would even have known that you didn't kiss Mark. "Were you watching through the window?"

"Mhmm," he confirmed, "I was going to turn the porch lights on if he tried to feel you up," he added with a laugh.

You rolled your eyes, making your way further into the house so you could flop on the couch, "Trust me, the only person he wanted to feel up was you."

"What are you talking about?" Tyler asked with a laugh, following you into the living room.

"He was, like, obsessed with you," you said, running a hand over your face, slouched on the couch, "All he wanted to do was talk about you."

"So you spent the entire time talking about me?" he asked, and you didn't even have to look up to know he had a bemused grin on his face.

"No, I spent the entire time trying to direct him to topics other than what you were like in high school, or what you like to do in your spare time," you said.

Much to your chagrin, Tyler started giggling. Like, seriously giggling, and you lifted your hand from where it had been on your face, opening one eye.

"I'm glad you think this is so amusing," you said dryly, petting Marshall who had jumped up on the couch beside you, "I should have just sent you with him and stayed here with these guys."

"He seemed great though, when he was here."

"That's because he was more interested in having a bromance with you than a romance with me," you said, which only got Tyler laughing again, and you just gave him an annoyed look.

He wrapped his arm around you, pulling your head to his chest, as he usually did. "I'm sorry, babe," he said, even though you could still feel him laughing, which really wasn't making his words seem genuine. When he pulled back, he looked at you, "In my defense, it was my first time using Bumble as you, and I may have swiped right on a couple of guys that weren't right for you, but I'll improve, if you want me to?"

"Yeah, yeah okay," you said, reminding yourself of these new changes you were trying to make in your dating life, "Just no more dating talk tonight," you said.

You turned your head, looking towards the direction of his kitchen, "Can I make muffins, here?"

"Umm...yeah," Tyler said, like it was obvious and you shouldn't have even asked, "Only if I can have some though."

"Of course," you said, making your way into the kitchen, Tyler trailing after you. When you stood up from grabbing a mixing bowl, he was looking down at you, leaning against the opposite counter.

"Last time you made muffins, you gave some to my dad and not me," he said, exaggerating a pout, "and it really bummed me out."

"What?" you asked, and then remembered, "Oh, that's because you brought them to me. You could have taken some."

"I was going to," he confessed, "But you just had surgery and I was trying to be nice." He was looking at you like he was expecting to be praised for the fact that he didn't take any of the muffins you made. Yet, when he actually did something considerate, like bringing over the dogs for you or stocking your fridge, he acted like it was no big deal.

He leaned against the counter, alternating between watching you and doing something on his phone as you mixed the batter, and you were humming along to the soft music in the background.

"Hey, Y/N?"

"Hmm...?" you asked, looking up from where you were placing the muffin liners in the tin.

"Just for the record, was the guy I picked out better, or did you like boring history professor more?" He was looking at you hopefully.

You were tempted to lie, really, but you couldn't, "Umm...yours? If I had to choose," you answered, ignoring his fist pump of victory.

**

You sighed, holding your wrist in one hand, trying to steady the shaking, eyes transfixed on the meaty part of your thigh. You took another deep breath, wrapping your hand harder around the injectable pen and tried to go again, only to stop just when the needle was about to hit your skin.

You bent forward trying to take a few deep breaths because now you were starting to feel lightheaded thanks to the fact that you had been holding your breath without realizing it.

You shook your head, because this was getting ridiculous. You'd managed to give yourself six of these shots already but, by now, your leg was sore, and all of sudden you just couldn't handle it anymore.

It didn't help that you hated needles anyway. Honestly, you were pretty impressed you even managed to do what you had, considering you felt like you were going to pass out when you'd had your blood taken at the fertility clinic.

You tried once more, but didn't even get halfway to your leg before you chickened out. Sighing, you picked up your phone, dialing Danielle's number.

"Hey," she picked up almost immediately, and you launched into your ask.

"I totally would," she explained, "But I'm still at the office. But you could come by, if you want?"

You rest your head in your hands, knowing that her office was 45 minutes from your place. "No, that's okay, I'll figure it out."

"You sure?" she asked, even though you could hear voices in the background, and knew that she was probably staying late to work on a case, as sometimes happened in her job as a paralegal.

"Yep," you said, "We still on for brunch tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," she said, and you let her go fairly quickly knowing she need to get back to work.

You sat there, looking back and forth between the medication and your exposed leg, realizing full well that you wouldn't be able to do it. Unfortunately, both your mom and sister lived 30 minutes away, which seemed ridiculous for something that would take all of 2 minutes.

You picked up your phone, knowing that Tyler was home, because he'd invited you over earlier, but you weren't really sure if you'd have the energy for it. He did say that he would help you with this, though, although this was way different than giving you a ride to the doctor's office. Taking a breath, you picked up your phone, sending a text.

You: Can you help me with something? Please?

Tyler: Yeah. You wanna come here?

Tyler: Or you need me to come there?

I'll come to you, you typed, knowing that the five minutes it took to drive to his house would be better for your mind than sitting there waiting for him.

Tyler: Kkk.

You took another breath, grabbing your bag and driving over there, trying to relax, which wasn't working very well.

There were quite a lot of voices, in the house once you arrived, but you found Tyler pretty much immediately. He smiled at you briefly, waiting for the conversation to come to a natural lull and ducked out, turning off to to the side to face you, "What's up?"

"Uh..." you said, looking at the various faces around you, "Can we go somewhere else?"

Tyler's eyes studied you for a moment before he said, "Yeah, sure," grabbing you by the elbow, and leading you to his bedroom. Once there, he looked at you expectantly, but you were eyeing the open door, so he raised his eyebrows a little, stepping forward to shut it.

"This is a little weird," you stated.

"Okay?" He asked, his head slightly tilted to the side.

"Could you...would you...give me a shot?"

Even though your eyes were focused on his chest, you could see his chin jut foward. "Give you a shot?"

"Yeah, for the egg retrieval," you said, "to get my eggs frozen."

His eyes flicked to yours then, and a soft smile came across his face. "Yeah? You're doing that?"

"I told you I was."

"Yeah, but I didn't know you had actually started the process," he said, even though you were 100% sure that you had, because you very distinctly remembered telling him that you had an appointment at the clinic, "Where do I have to give you this shot? Is it in your ass? It's in your ass, isn't it?"

"No," you laughed, "in my thigh."

He gave you an impish smile and then made a motion like he was about to roll up his sleeves, only he realized he was wearing a short sleeved T-shirt so he didn't have any sleeves to roll up. "Okay, what do I do?"

"There's a video," you said, grabbing your phone and pulling it up, passing it over to him, "Can you watch it...over there?" you asked, gesturing towards the opposite side of the room.

He gave you an interesting look, "I really don't like needles," you said, shivering, "I don't want to hear it again."

"'K," he said simply, basically blocking himself into a corner to watch the video, while you sat down on the side of his bed, pulling out what you needed from your bags and double checking the right dose was set up, rearranging your dress over your legs so the right area was exposed, tucking the rest of the fabric between your legs. You took an alcohol wipe out, sanitizing the area.

"Fuck, that looks sore, babe," Tyler said suddenly, appearing next to you and running his fingers gently over your skin.

"I just cleaned that," you said, with a huff, digging out another alcohol pad.

"Sorry," he replied, "You've been giving them to yourself?"

"Yeah. I just, I don't know, I'm kind of freaking out a bit tonight. And Danielle's still at work and my mom and my sister are..."

"I got it," he said, like it was no problem, like he was less bothered by it than giving you a ride to the airport at 5AM. Like he didn't know why you didn't just ask him in the first place. "I'm just gonna wash my hands, 'k?"

"Yeah," you said, as he went into the ensuite bathroom, noticing his excessive use of "'k". "Tyler, have you been drinking?"

"I've had, like, two sips of beer. I'm good," he said, and you could see him drying his hands off on a towel, making his way back to you. You held out the injection pen and he took it, looking it over.

"I already did everything," you said, "I just need you to...stick it." You shut your eyes, grimacing at the thought, making the motion with your hand.

You instinctively turned your head away, but you could see him dancing around you as if trying to figure out the best way to approach this, bending his knees and then standing up again, moving from one side to another. "I think this is...you're down too low," he said, "C'mon, come in here."

You followed him into the ensuite bathroom, and he pointed at the counter, "Sit up there."

You used your hands to boost you up, and he stepped to you as soon as your butt hit the counter, his hand going to the hem of your dress. "You have underwear on, right?" he smirked even as he flicked the bottom of your dress up.

"Tyler!" you scolded, even though you'd considered this before you'd come over, checking to make sure you where wearing a pair of plain navy blue panties that kept everything covered.

"Chill," he said, " his other hand going to rest on the counter, "I'm trying to make you laugh. You're nervous."

Like you weren't aware that you were nervous.

"You ready?" he asked, and you nodded, squeezing your eyes shut, "Okay. 3, 2..."

"No!" you screamed, gripping his wrist hard and pulling it away before you could even realize what you were doing, but he was already backing up, raising his hands up like he was innocent, even though you could very clearly see the needle in his hand. "Sorry," you mumbled, running your hands over your face.

"That's okay," he said.

"Can you not count down?" you asked, "Just...stick it in me." You squeezed your eyes shut when you heard what you just said, bracing yourself for a 'that's what she said' joke, but nothing came. When you opened your eyes again, Tyler looked surprisingly serious, using free hand to flip his hat backwards, stepping even closer to you this time, between your legs. You turned your head away from the side of the needle, your cheek practically pressed against his chest and, if you opened your eyes, all you would expect to see would be the black fabric of his shirt. Your hand went up, braced on his back, because you needed something to hold onto.

"Okay?" he asked, and you felt like you could hear it through his body rather than coming from his mouth.

"Mhmm..." you agreed, still prepping yourself. You knew his hand was close to your leg and you expected to feel the needle at any second, but nothing came. And, all that you could hear was him breathing, which was kind of heavy, now that you paid attention to it.

"Are you okay?" you asked.

"Yeah," he said, laughing slightly, "I just don't really like needles."

You swallowed hard, and you were still practically tangled up with him and didn't think you could move even if you wanted to, and you could hear water dripping from the tap, that's how quiet it was. "Well, I can..."

"I got it," he said steadily, "Just breathe."

You weren't sure whether he was talking to you or himself, but soon enough you found you were both breathing deeply in unison. You paid attention to that dripping of the tap, trying to figure out if it was slowing down, while simultaneous trying to figure out if the clean smell surrounding you was from his laundry detergent or his soap.

You jumped slightly when you felt the needle pierce your skin, but then tears sprung to your eyes because it stung like a bitch, and you cried out your face scrunching up.

"Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Tyler said, his free arm hooking under yours, steadying you. "I'm almost done, okay? I'm so sorry."

You were gripping the back of his shirt in your hand, trying to stay still. Once he was done, he pulled it out of you quickly, and practically tossed the thing across the room, pulling away from you except for that arm at your side, grabbing for the gauze, and you saw a line of blood starting to run down your leg before he pressed the gauze to it, covering it with his palm.

"Shit," he said, pulling it away to look at it, and then replacing it. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you said, hands gripping the counter and trying to regain your breath, "Some of them are worse than others, I don't know why. I guess if it hits a bad spot?"

He was leaning towards you on the counter, still holding the gauze at your leg, looking at you curiously, and you noticed that his eyes looked strangely glassy and wet. "You're crying," he said softly, taking his hand off the counter and raising it to brush a finger across your cheek, brushing a tear away.

But you weren't, not really. "It was stinging," you explained, "it makes my eyes water."

He nodded, but didn't change his position, so you pulled your arm between your body's gripping his wrist and pulling it off you, seeing that it had stopped bleeding. You pulled the gauze from his fingers, standing up and then smoothing your dress back into place, going to gather everything and get it cleaned up.

He was standing in the middle of the bathroom now,eyes following your movements, and it was oddly quiet, other than the noise from what you were doing. "You need anything?" he asked, "Ice or..?"

"I'm good," you said, as you packed everything back up. You saw him move to run a hand over his face or through his hair and you reached for it quickly, "Wash your hands."

"Oh,h. Right." he said quietly, looking down at his hand where there was a smudge of blood near his wrist. He stepped to the sink, and you heard the running sound of water, followed by the pumping noise of the soap dispenser, which sounded like it was close to empty.

Having gathered everything, you started walking back to his bedroom, suddenly coming to a stop and leaning forward slightly when he walked straight into you, making a small noise, his forearm crossed in frontm of you as if to stop you from following before he pulled back. "You alright?"

"Mhmm,," you confirmed, trying to swallow, "the medication just makes me feel kind of sick. It's worse at night."

"You think you're gonna throw up?" he asked a slight undertone of alarm in his voice, his hand going to your arm.

You shook your head 'no' and then realized it was not a good idea. "As long as I don't move," you said.

He hummed, his hand still around your arm, moving you gently into the bedroom until you were next to the bed, "Lay down for a bit."

"I'm..."

"Just lay down for a bit," he instructed, "It'd make me feel better. Please?"

And you agreed, letting him direct you onto the bed, because putting your head on a pillow and shutting your eyes for just a moment sounded like a good plan. So you did just that, pulling your knees to your chest and just trying to breathe. You could sense he was still standing there, but thought you might be imagining it until you felt his fingers curl just a little in your hair, which was really soothing, actually.

"I think it's the hormones," you said, "I always feel sick when I take birth control. I guess I'm just sensitive?"

"Okay," he said simply.

You quickly felt sleepy, and started to feel goosebumps pop up on your body as you reached that place between sleep and wake, since you were still laying on top of the covers. You could hear Tyler walking away and shifted just slightly, getting a little more comfortable, but them you felt a blanket fall on top of you. "I'll be back in a bit, okay?" Tyler said gently, and you realized his head was extremely close to yours. You felt something on the side of your head, but you couldn't identify if it was his fingers or his lips.

"Mhmm..." you agreed, and you felt another brush through your hair, this time this was definately his fingers.

The next thing you knew, you were opening your eyes to a completely pitch black room, and realized the sun must have set several hours ago. You could feel a warm dog at your feet, but your attention was directed towards the movement to your right, and you opened your eyes to see a bare chest in front of you, the blankets being pulled over it.

You squinted, pushing yourself up on your forearms and realizing where you where. "I should..." you started, but before you could even finish 'go home', Tyler interrupted you.

"Go back to sleep?" he asked, "Yeah, you should."

And then he was pulling the actual covers out from underneath you and, because you were so warm and tired, you were tucking your legs under them, pulling that blanket he'd placed on your earlier around you. Although, apparently, he wasn't satisfied with it, because he fixed it around you, leaving his laying over you, and you could feel him shift down into bed a little further. You did the same, adjusting the pillow underneath you, falling back to sleep quickly.


	6. Chapter 6

All that you were aware of when you woke up was that you were surrounded by warmth and deep breathing, your body locked into a position on your side, somehow taking up the least amount of space possible. You opened your eyes, and were met with a face full of fur. You coughed slightly, trying to push the dog away from you so you had some breathing room, but, damn, he was heavy, and resisting against you, groaning and complaining the whole time. You sighed, because Tyler's arm was still over you, and you suspected he was still sleeping. You tried to use both your your hands to lift his arm up off you, flipping over quickly to face him before his arm dropped back over you. You froze for a second, wondering if you had woken him, but you couldn't see his eyes because his hair was flopped all over his face.

He groaned a little and his arm tightened around you and pulled you closer and you briefly relaxed when you realized he was still asleep and you hadn't woken him up, but then your eyes popped open when you realized you were even more stuck. You tried to perk your head up a bit and look around, to survey the situation. It seemed that Tyler was in a similar position to you, laying on his side, and really barely taking up any space, comparatively speaking. It was the dogs who were taking up 80% of the bed, their legs all stretched out. You looked around a little bit more and, judging by the rise and fall of their bellies, they were all still asleep.

It looked like Cash was wedged between your and Tyler's shins and, you thought if you could just move him a little more towards you, you might be able to create a path to climb out. You tossed your leg over the dog, trying to gently push him towards your direction of the bed to encourage him to scoot over just a little bit. You could hear him sigh, but he was so stubborn and just kept his complete body weight resting solidly on the bed. You were continuing to struggle, and then accidentally kicked Tyler in the shin and you froze, but someone he just rolled over, his leg coming over yours and locking you in even further. Great.

Your eyes widened when you shifted and realized that his leg was very much naked against yours, and you realized that you'd fallen asleep wearing your dress, which was now up around your waist. His thigh brushed yours and now your eyes were bouncing back in forth in your bed, trying to determine if he was naked. You didn't think he would be, but sometimes he had absolutely no regard for boundaries. And it wasn't like you slept in bed together regularly, usually it was just if you'd both fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie or something. Other than a few times late in high school when you'd be staying over at someone's house after a late night or something. Or a few times a group of you had gone camping and you'd shared an air mattress. But all of those times he definately had shorts on. And a shirt.

Finally, Cash stood up, but before you could even move he just turned in a circle, flopping back down right on your foot and shaking the entire mattress. Tyler's eyes blinked sleepily a couple of times, focusing on you, his face still smushed against the pillow, a small smile on his face. "Hi," he said, his voice soft, disentangling his leg from yours, hand trailing where his arm was draped over you, but not pulling it away from you.

"Hi," you replied.  
"Ho—" he started, but it broke up with an 'oof' when Gerry launched himself onto the both of you, and you rolled onto your back, your hands instinctively going to cover your face to protect in from paws. "Oh my god," Tyler said, and the bed became a mess of limbs and paws and tails, and you could hear Tyler saying sternly "off" and "Gerry", but you weren't sure whether he was trying to push him away or pull him closer. Gerry's tongue suddenly lapped out, getting you right in the eye, and your hand went over it, and he started licking you all over your face excitedly, and all you could hear was Tyler laughing hard next to you.

"Gerry! Gerry!" Tyler was saying, although he was laughing at the same time, so it wasn't really very effective, although he managed to finally pull the dog's face away from yours, sitting up slightly and puckering his lips so Gerry would lick him.

You ran your hand over your face, wiping off all the dog saliva. "He licked my eye," you muttered, blinking and trying to wipe at your eye which was watering.  
Tyler just laughed harder, and you sat up slightly, seeing that Gerry was now standing over Tyler's legs, looking at him expectantly, and the other dogs had their heads popped up, but their gaze shifted to you and then back to him, and you realized they were trying to determine who was going to feed them.  
Gerry lost his footing on the bed and Tyler's arm instinctively went out,

steadying him but he flopped down the other way, and you realized Tyler was trying to prevent him from falling on your thigh. He made a funny face at Gerry, and then looked over at you, "How are you feeling?"

"Good," you said automatically, and his eyes narrowed on yours as if he suspected that you didn't even think about your response, and you laughed, "I feel way better, actually."

You stretched your arms out over your head, and realized that your dress was bunched around you chest, revealing your stomach from where the blanket had been pulled away. You had no idea how you'd actually managed to sleep so soundly in your bra and dress.

Tyler's phone made a noise from the nightstand and he frowned, reaching over to grab it, reading something and saying "fuck, fuck," under his breath, and then he tossed the covers off, practically leaping out of bed and onto his feet. He was bending over, pulling a pair of shorts on that had been on the floor, and you could see that he had, indeed, had a pair of boxer briefs on the entire time.  
"What?" you asked, sitting up with concern.

"I forgot that my mom and sister are coming over for brunch," he said, "fuck."  
He ran his hand through his hair, and sighed. "When are they coming?" you asked.

"In, like, an hour and a half," he said, looking at his phone and then tossing it onto the bed.

"Well, you've got tons of time," you said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but I was supposed to pick up food and the whole house is a mess. Fuck," he grumbled again, and practically tore out of the room, the dogs jumping off the bed in succession and trailing after him. You laughed under your breath, sitting up and fixing your ponytail, taking a quick look at the time, and then lifted the covers off yourself. You were about to get up when he came walking back into the room, more composed this time. He seemed to take a brief look at your situation of dress, and finished getting up, letting your dress fall properly so your panties weren't exposed, "You want to stay?" he asked after a few seconds, "if you're still feeling okay?"

"I'm supposed to meet Danielle for brunch."

"Well, she can come over here," he said, like it was an obvious solution.  
You were looking at your phone in your hands, "I don't want to intrude on your family breakfast."

"Yeah, so, here's the thing," Tyler said, his hand moving over the back of his neck, "my mom wanted me to invite you, but ....I didn't, did I?"

"This is the first time I'm hearing about it," you admitted. You were sending off a text to Danielle to ask her if she'd be alright with this, and you didn't realize that Tyler was still standing there until you looked up from your phone and saw him standing there expectantly.   
"Can she come?" he asked.

"Yep," you answered.

"Awesome," he said, running his hand through his hair once more, "And if she wants to bring some food or something, that'd be totally cool." You could tell from the look on his face that he wasn't expecting her to bring anything, obviously, but there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes. He stood there for several more seconds, just looking at you sitting on the side of his bed.

"Yeah, so," he said, seemingly coming back to the present again, "I'm gonna go clean." He pointed his thumb behind him, but he still stood there for a few seconds longer until you heard a bark from downstairs, and he turned on his heel and left.

You, on the other hand, got up and went into the bathroom, and then went downstairs as well. Tyler was in the living room vacuuming...rather aggressively, but you walked past him, humming under your breath when you got to the kitchen, taking a look at what he had in the fridge. There wasn't really a ton to work with, but you could make do.

You'd were putting sprinkling the coffee cake batter with some brown sugar and cinnamon and were getting started on some baked eggs, as you figured you could bake everything at the same temperature so it was all ready on time when Tyler came into the kitchen, slowing to a stop and looking around. "What are you doing?" He asked slowly.

" What does it look like?" You asked with a laugh, "Making brunch."  
He broke it a wide smile, closing the gap between you and wrapping his arm around your head, placing a sloppy kiss on your temple. "You're the best."  
You just smiled, going back to what you were doing. "Did you finish cleaning?"

"Yeah," he said "warily, "but I need your help to make sure my mom doesn't go upstairs."

" What?" You asked with a laugh.  
"It's a total mess," he said, "she's going to get mad at me."  
"She is not," you laughed, shaking your head.

He stood there watching you for a moment leaning against the counter, and then stood up,"Can I do anything to help?"  
"Mm..." you considered, "you could cut some fruit?"

He set off to work, chopping some strawberries. You finished what you were doing, washing your hands and then plucking a couple of strawberry slices from the cutting board, popping them into your mouth.

"Hey..." Tyler said, like you'd completely messed up what he was doing.  
"I'm hungry," you explained, "I didn't eat dinner last night."  
Tyler's expression softened, "Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"  
"Because I didn't wake you up," he said.  
You shrugged, "I really think I needed the sleep, honestly. I feel way better today."

He gave you a soft smile. "Yeah, I checked on you a couple of times and you were completely out," he said.

The oven beeped, signally that it was preheated, and you grabbed the pan with the coffee cake, sliding it into the oven and hitting the timer. "I'm gonna go shower quick before this is done, okay?"

"Mhmm," Tyler said, but he watched as you walked past the stairs, "Where are you going? You can shower in my room." He was laughing under his breath, letting you know he thought you were being weird.

You pointed towards the guest room, "I think I left some of my shampoo and stuff here."  
"Ohhh," he said, slowly, "Did you leave a bra here, by any chance?"

Now that you thought about it, you had been wondering where your black lacy bra was, "Uh, yeah, I think I did, actually."

"It's in the laundry room," he said, waving his hand in that direction.  
"Why is my bra in your laundry room?" you asked in disbelief.

"Gerry had it in his mouth and I had no idea where he got it from or whose it was," he said, " And I didn't think it was yours because I though you wore a 34C."

You blinked, wondering why that number sounded so familiar. And then you remembered that was a size you used to wear, and when Tyler used to tag along to the mall with you and Kirsten he'd had the job of rummaging through the clearance bra bins to find stuff for each of you to try on in your size whenever you went to Victoria's Secret. "That was a long time ago," you said, "my boobs have grown since then."

"Yeah, I noticed," he smirked, exaggerating a wink.  
"God, Tyler!"  
" What?" He said, gestering at your chest, "they're like right there. It's your fault, really."

You rolled your eyes, placing a hand on your hip, "I seriously cannot believe you remember what bra size I wore in ninth grade, but you can't remember that your family is coming over."

He shrugged, turning back to his task." I can't help what my brain wants to remember."

You glanced at the clock when you went into the guest bedroom, taking your time in the shower, and redressing. Once you were done, you went back up to Tyler's room to steal his blowdryer. You were putting on some mascara that you'd had in your purse when he came back in the room, rummaging through his dresser and pulling out a shirt. He pulled it on and came into the bathroom, looking at himself in the mirror and then shaking his head, going back to the dresser once more.

You raised at eyebrow as you passed by him, heading down the stairs, hitting the landing just as the timer went off. You were starting to pull things out of the oven and checking it when you heard a knock at the door. "Tyler!"

"Got it!" he yelled back, and then you grimaced as you heard him essentially trample down the stairs. You finished what you were doing, hearing everyone saying hello to each other.

"Hey honey," Tyler's mom said when you came around the corner, opening up her arms for a hug, "I'm glad to see you. Tyler never told me whether you'd be able to come or not."

Tyler was gesturing wildly behind her head and his sister was giving him the side eye like he was insane. "He must have just forgotten to tell you I was coming," you said, smiling stiffly, your eyes connected with Tyler's and he looked equal parts grateful and annoyed that you weren't 100% sincere. Jackie turned around suddenly, eying Tyler, "What are you doing?" she asked as if she had eyes in the back of her head.

"Nothing, Mom," he said, trying to be innocent, but his laughter was really giving him away. Luckily, Danielle was walking up to the door at the same time, and Tyler walked out to her, giving her a hug hello and then resting his arm over her shoulders, "This is Danielle. Y/N's second best friend."

You raised you eyebrows, shaking your head slowly while Danielle just laughed and said "hey...", because it wasn't the first time that he had said that.   
"Hey, you're awesome," he said, tightening his grip around her, "I'm just slightly better."

He pulled her along, and you all followed, and you were happy to see that Tyler had set the dining room table while you were in the shower. Or, at least, set out some plates and appropriate utensils.

"This looks amazing," Jackie said, when you set down the food on the table, "Thanks, guys."  
"Yeah, thanks, Y/N," Cassidy said pointedly.

"What?" Tyler laughed as he sat down at the table, "You don't think I helped?"  
"Did you?" she challenged, trying not to smile.  
Tyler nodded his head towards you.

"He helped," you confirmed, and then smiled wide as you started cutting the coffee cake, "He bought the food."  
Everyone at the table started laughing except for Tyler who let out a "hey!" and kicked you decidedly under the table.  
"He actually did the fruit," you said.

"And I made the coffee," Tyler said, taking a sip from his mug to demonstrate this fact.  
"So..." Jackie said, "What's new with everyone?"  
Tyler just kind of shrugged and kept eating his breakfast.

"The semester is just finishing so work's been kind of busy," you said, "Other than that, not much."

"That's not true," Tyler said, his hand going to your arm and pushing you back and forth playfully before announcing, "Y/N went on a date."

" Oh," Jackie said, and you could see her leaning towards you with interest, "with who?"

"Uh...just some guy from Tinder," you said, staring at your plate because this was not a conversation you wanted to be having. Trying to detract the attention from you, you added, "Tyler found him, actually."

"But you hate Tinder," Cassidy said.  
"No, I hate Tinder for you," he clarified, "Anyways, I thought he was pretty great but Y/N wasn't really into him."

"You met him?"  
"Mhmm," Tyler said nonchalantly, "he came over here to pick her up. I had to intimidate him a little bit."

You snorted hard at the though of what he had been doing being called intimidation.   
"What are you laughing at?" Tyler asked, his head turning to look at you, but you kept your gaze focused ahead.

" Did he do the thing where he just stands there with his arms crossed?" Cassidy asked.

Your eyes glanced up as you remembered, and then they widened and you leaned forward, "Yes!"  
"He think it makes him look tough," she continued, "especially if he's showing off his tattoos."

"He was wearing a short sleeve shirt!" You exclaimed, and then both of you were leaning forward laughing.

"Mom," Tyler exaggerated a whine, "can you tell them to stop making fun of me?"

"What do you think we all so when Y/N comes over for dinner and you're not there?" Cassidy quipped.

Tyler froze, his mouth set in a straight line, and then he sat back in his chair, pulling his phone from his pocket. You caught the sly grin out of the corner of your eye, just before you heard the unmistakle start of "Drop It Like It's Hot ". You shut your eyes and took a deep breath, knowing that he'd just be staring at you with a satisfied smile on his face when you opened them. Once you did, he just gave a sly smile and raised his eyebrows. Your face was turning red, so you set your elbow on the table, covering your mouth with your hand. Tyler mimicked you, leaning forward towards you, his eyes set on yours and just lowered and raised his eyebrows once, sitting back and laughing loudly before he shut the music off.

Luckily, he didn't explain anything, just waited for the conversation to change topics and then leaned towards you, speaking low so no one else could hear. "I can talk about you too, you know."

You were thankful that the conversation continued on naturally after that, except for Tyler briefly mentioning that his summer project was to find you a boyfriend among other plans when his mom asked him what he had planned for the off-season. Which seemed way too intense to you, honestly, because you knew what he was like when he was set on something, and you suddenly had visions of going on a whirlwind of dates, one right after another, so you knew you'd have to set some boundaries there.

You'd all finished eating and were just sitting around the table talking, when Cassidy picked Gerry up, setting him in her lap at the table, his head immediately jetting forward to look for scraps of food.

"Don't do that," Tyler said, off-handedly, "He's in trouble."

"For?"

"He jumped on us in bed this morning," Tyler said easily, but you could feel everyone else's eyes on you almost immediately, and started choking on your own spit. Tyler started slapping you on the back which wasn't helping at all, so you pushed his arm away from you, taking a deliberate sip of your coffee, and trying to ignore that your eyes were watering. "I'm just gonna start cleaning up," you said, your voice squeaking because your throat still wasn't cleared yet, "You guys can just stay here." you added, knowing that Tyler's mom was already trying to get up to help you.

You stacked a couple of plates, walking swiftly to the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of water, and taking a few sips until you could swallow without feeling like you had to cough, and then you got started on the dishes.

"What was that?" Danielle asked in a harsh whisper, appearing in the kitchen with a few plates stack in her arms, setting them down on the counter.  
"What?" you asked, "Nothing, I just choked on my own saliva."

"No, why were you in bed together?" she asked, still whispering, right next to you.  
"I told you I slept here," you said, reaching under the sink to refill the soap dispenser, which was empty.

"In the same bed?"   
"Yeah," you shrugged, "I wasn't feeling well, so I laid down in his bed for a bit and I fell asleep."

"Oh," Danielle said, with an air of understanding, going over to open the dishwasher and beginning to stack the plates inside.

"But he didn't have to say that in front of his mother like that," you whispered.  
She gave you a sympathetic look, but added, "He probably just thinks it's no big deal."

Which had to be true, of course, but you still wished he had thought before he said that. Or at least expanded on why you were in bed together.

"Are you talking about me again?" Tyler's voice came from the doorway and you jumped slightly with surprise.

"Nope," you said automatically, and he laughed loudly even as his eyes darted between you and Danielle. He stepped towards where you were washing dishes in the sink, resting his chin on your shoulder, "Not that I'm complaining, but you really don't have to cook AND clean."

You were around to respond when Cassidy shouted from the living room, "Dude, why do you have Grey's Anatomy on your DVR? You hate that show."

"I didn't record it, Y/N did," he responded. And you remembered that you had, because you'd been planning on watching the season finale when you were here last watching the dogs.

"You could have deleted it," you said, "That was, like a month ago."  
He shrugged, "I didn't know if you'd watched it yet or not, though," he said, "Did you?"

"No, but -"  
"We can watch it tonight, if you want," he said easily, wiping down the counter, and nodding towards Danielle, "Have you watched it?"

She shook her head 'no' and Tyler smiled, tossing the towel he was using into the sink. "Great, let's do that tonight, then."

"But you hate 'Grey's Anatomy,'" you protested, even though you weren't entirely sure whether he did or not. Because you'd watched it with him before and he bitched through the whole thing, yet continued to watch it with you.

"I like you that much that I'm willing to suffer through it," he said. "Besides, I want you to stay so I can give you your- "he looked around to double check that his mom and sister were still in the living room and couldn't see into the kitchen and then he mimed a motion of a shot and then wrapped his arm around your shoulder, "and you definately deserve Grey's and ice cream after that."

"Tyler, you don't have to..."  
"Shh!" he said loudly, "I'm trying to be nice. Don't ruin it."

You and Danielle had hung out for at Tyler's place for the rest of the day, sitting outside and enjoying the sunshine while he took the dogs for a walk, and then you'd all eaten dinner outside. Tyler had insisted on giving you your shot, even though Danielle had offered, because apparently he was now "trained" to do it, despite the fact that that training was just wanting a video. Thankfully, you'd barely felt it at all.

And now all three of you were on the couch, watching Grey's Anatomy. Which, so far, had mostly consisted of Tyler asked "Is that McDreamy?" Every time a male character came on screen.

"Tyler," you said finally, "McDreamy's dead."

" What!" He said, leaning forward so suddenly that his arm moved from where it was resting behind you on the couch, nudging you on the back of the head. He paused, rubbing his hand once over where he'd bumped you. "Sorry, but I can't believe they killed McDreamy."

"I didn't know you were so invested," you said dryly.   
"I'm not," he said, sitting back into the couch, "I'm just surprised neither one of you told me about this."

"It happened, like, three years ago," Danielle said.   
"I haven't watched this show with you in three years?"  
"I guess not," you shrugged.

You watched in silence for a few moments until Tyler spoke again, "Wait, that's his sister?! The one he just kissed?"

"No, no. Her father is married to his mother."  
"So she's his stepsister."

"No, her biological father is married to his mother," you said, "She was adopted. They didn't like, grow up with each other or anything."

"This is really confusing," he sighed.  
You gave him a sympathetic look, but really you were impressed that he was actually trying to figure it out and paying attention, rather than just sitting there on his phone.

It was probably 10 minutes in when he paused it, resting the remote on his leg. "Can we have ice cream, now?"

You and Danielle both laughed, while Danielle added, "I'm in."

You shrugged, following them both to the kitchen. Maybe you'd just have a bit. Tyler was already rummaging through the freezer, so you reached into the cupboard for bowls, while Danielle grabbed three spoons from the drawer.   
"This is for you," Tyler said, setting down a tub on the counter in front of you, identical to the one he'd brought you after your surgery.

"Wha-?" you said, suddenly feel really choked up.  
"It was on sale when I bought it for you before," he said, by way of explanation, scooping his own ice cream, "so I grabbed two in case you wanted some when you were over here."

Your hand went to your chest and your lips started trembling and all of a sudden you couldn't even see the ice cream in front of you because your eyes were filling with tears. You were desperately trying to gain control over your emotions, because you'd kind of felt like crying for a couple of days for no reason at all, and would have to stop a song in the middle of it to avoid crying when you were driving home from work. And, apparently, this was what pushed you over the edge.

Tyler looked over at you, wondering why you were just standing there, and then did a double take. "Are you crying?"

"No," you sniffled, and then wiped some tears off your cheek with your finger.  
Tyler laughed, low and unsure, just watching you like he was trying to piece together what was happening.

Danielle walked from where she was standing behind Tyler, coming over to you and placing her arm around your shoulder, leaning around to look at you, her eyes concerned that there was something wrong. And then you laughed through your tears, because they both looked so concerned, but you were totally fine.  
"I have so many hormones in my body right now," you said by way of explanation. You'd been told about the side effects, but somehow you'd thought you'd be okay, even though you knew your body was sensitive.

Tyler's eyebrows kind of went in opposite directions, and he pulled a spoon from your hand that you didn't even know you were holding, and started scooping your ice cream into a bowl. You were pretty sure that you heard him say under his breath to Danielle 'maybe if we just give her a ton of ice cream it'll stop'.  
"It's just, one of the nicest things anyone's every done for me," you said, your voice still breaking with emotion. And you knew the whole time that you were really overreacting, but you could stop yourself.

"No, it's not," Tyler laughed, pressing the bowl of ice cream into your hands, his hand going to the small of your back and guiding you back to the couch as if somehow you were going to crumble if he didn't.

You were thankful that this episode of Grey's wasn't hugely on the emotional side, because you were pretty sure you wouldn't be able to handle that. Surprisingly, the ice cream seemed to help.

"I don't know how you eat that weird shit," Tyler said, after you laughed at something on the screen, making a face at your bowl of ice cream.   
"It's not weird," you laughed, taking another bite.

"It's gluten-free," he said, "it's weird. Who eats gluten-free ice cream?"

"You realize regular ice cream doesn't have gluten in it, right?"

He looked appalled at the thought.   
You scooped up just a little on the tip of your spoon, pushing it towards him, "Try it."

He instinctively turned his head away, and you laughed at how pathetic this was. "Just try it," you said, "It's just vegan so it doesn't have dairy in it."

He was still making a face. "Tyler, just try it," you said seriously, "You can't keep bugging me about how weird it is when you haven't even tried it."

Reluctantly, he opened his mouth and you slid the spoon in, and then pulled it back out, setting it in your bowl and watching him curiously. He was smacking his tongue against his lips, like he was all of a sudden a culinary expert.

"Well?" you prompted.  
"It's not bad," he admitted, and you grinned in triumph.

"It's not good," he continued, "but it's not bad."

You both went back to your own bowls of ice cream and the three of you continued to watch the show. Which was going well, until there was a stupid wedding scene and you started crying again. Despite the fact that you never cry at weddings. On television, anyways.

Wordlessly, Tyler reached to the side table, extending a box of tissues in his hand towards you, raising his eyebrows and laughing lightly as you took one, "Shut up," you muttered, wiping your eyes quickly and then keeping the tissue balled up in your hand because you didn't think you were done yet.

You were right, because then there was another freaking wedding and you were crying again, pulling your knees up to your chest.

"Awe, it's gonna be okay," Tyler said mockingly, putting his arm around you and pulling you closer, but you could feel his body moving with laughter.

"I don't even care about them," you said, jetting your hand out towards the T.V., which made him laugh even harder. There were still tears running down your face and you were pretty sure they were dripping onto Tyler's shirt. Of course, the dogs, having a sixth sense, all started to crowd around you and were looking at you with concerned eyes, which just made you laugh and cry at the same time because you had no explanation for this.

"This is why we don't have girl dogs, guys," Tyler said to his dogs, "Bitches be crazy."

He was looking at you as he said it, a cheeky grin on his face, earning him an elbow to the ribs even as he laughed.


	7. Chapter 7

You wished you could say that you got your emotions together, but it just wasn't happening. You seemed to cry whenever something made you smile, so you felt like you constantly had tears running down your face. You supposed this was better than being irrationally irritable, but it was still annoying, because it felt like you had absolutely no control over your body. Eventually, you gave up trying to control it, and just accepted that this was just the way it was going to be for now.

It didn't help that you felt like a goddamn pincushion, between the injections and the blood tests. You felt bloated, emotional, and kind of crazy.

Tyler had seemed to make it a priority to ensure he was around to give you your shot every night, whether it was at his place or yours. Even though you made it quite clear that he didn't have to, you really did appreciate it. Not to mention, you lived about 5 minutes apart, so it was just so much more convienent.

Eventually, though, it got to be just a little too much, to the point where he'd set a timer on his phone to let him know it was time. One particular night, near the end of your cycle, had gently pulled you away from where you were talking with Andrea outside, leading you up the stairs, but you'd hung back, leaving him to pull on your arm. "C'mon, it's time for your shot."

And you knew he was expecting you to walk right into through his bedroom and into the bathroom, to jump right up onto that counter and hike up your dress and just sit there, while he rummaged through your purse for alcohol wipes, and medication, and gauze.

Instead you'd just straight up exploded. "Fuck, Tyler, I know it's time for my goddamn injection. I don't need you to fucking remind me," you yelled, your voice sounding raspy like it wasn't capable of screaming as loud as you wanted to, "I did this for six days before I even asked for your help, and somehow I managed to survive."

You knew, even before you stopped yelling that he was only trying to help, of course. That your reaction was completely uncharacteristic. And yet, you couldn't stop yourself from screaming. Or from recognizing that those first few milliseconds of screaming felt so good, even though that shitty feeling caught up to you by the end.

And then you looked up at Tyler, who was frozen a couple of steps above you, and he look so absolutely crushed that you immediately started crying. It wasn't the welling in the back of your throat, a few years sliding down your cheek crying that you'd been doing all week, either. This was full-on, face smushed up, snot running out of your nose, can't even breath properly, ugly crying.

"Fuck," you heard Tyler mumble.

"I didn't -" You started, but you couldn't even finish your thought, though you weren't sure if your sentence was broken off with a sob or because your face was pressed against Tyler's chest, his arms wrapped around around your head. His go-to reaction for whenever you'd started crying around him this past week was to simultaneously laugh and pull you in for a hug. But, this time, he wasn't laughing.

You felt him exhale against your ear, his hand dropping to rub up and down and down your upper back, his other hand just holding steady. "I know you didn't mean it."

"I'm sorry," you choked out. And you felt terrible, you really did, because not only had you just screamed at him like that, but now he was the one stepping in to comfort you, and you were leaving snot and tears all over the front of his shirt.

"It's okay," he said, his hands going to your shoulders to push you back so he could look at you. You were certain you looked like an absolute mess, and you knew you were crying so hard that your eyes would be puffy for hours, evident of the way you'd fallen apart. "Sometimes, when emotions are high, people react in different ways."

You suspected he'd chosen his words carefully - "emotions are high" not "you're super emotional right now" or "you're bat shit crazy", which was exactly how you felt.

Now, though, you were happy to be back at home, sitting on your couch with Danielle, the whole process over and done with, and you were pretty ecstatic that you were done with those stupid hormone shots.

"You okay?" Danielle asked you. You had set your head back on the couch, shutting your eyes, only because the anesthesia was making you feel just a little sleepy.

"Mhmm..." you mumbled, "Just resting my eyes."

You could hear the T.V. on low in the background, and really thought you were aware of what was happening around you the entire time but, the next thing you knew, you opened your eyes and Tyler was standing in the entrance to your living room. "What is he doing here?" you asked sleepily.

"Well, it's really nice to see you too," Tyler said sarcastically, coming to sit next to you on the couch.

"Tyler's going to sit with you while I go grab us something to eat," Danielle said.

"I'm fine," you protested.

"You're supposed to have someone with you for the first 24 hours."

"I'm supposed to have a responsive adult with me for 24 hours," you argued, your mouth curving up in a smile, "So I don't know what Tyler's doing here."

You heard Tyler sigh next to you, "You're so funny," he said, poking you in the arm. You heard the front door click shut, and pulled your knees up to your side, getting more comfortable as you tried to figure out what was on the T.V. You were running your hands absentmindedly through your hair, until Tyler asked with a laugh, "What are you doing?"

And then you looked down, and saw it was his hair that you were running through your fingers, and you almost screamed because you could have sworn it was your own hair. "I thought that was my hair," you explained.

He laughed, deeply amused, "That's okay," he said, "But you know your hair is a completely different colour, right?"

"Yes," you muttered, and he laughed even harder.

"You can keep doing it, if you want," he offered, but you just shrugged, resting your hands on your lap. "You were like this after you got your wisdom teeth taken out, too. You kept braiding your own hair and getting mad when it would fall out, but you wouldn't let anyone give you a hair elastic."

"Really?" you asked with a laugh, wondering why no one had ever told you this before.

"Yeah," Tyler confirmed, "It was weird."

"At least I didn't try to get every female within a 3-mile radius to flash me after I had wrist surgery," you quipped.

Tyler laughed, "Yeah, I was really disappointed that didn't work."

You shook your head slowly, and then stretched your neck a little, realizing you had a bit of a kink in it from sleeping sitting up like that. You could see Tyler watching you as you readjusted.

"Are you in pain at all?" he asked gently.

"Nope," you answered, "It was nothing, really. The shots were the worst part."

"Mm...that reminds me," he said, resting his hands and shifting forward to stand up, "I brought you a present."

"What?" you said in disbelief, but he was instructing you to wait there, so you did just that. He returned a moment later, tossing a package into your lap. You looked down at it as he sat back down on the couch next to you. "You got me Mini Eggs?"

"Yeah," he said sheepishly, "I didn't know what to get someone who just had their eggs frozen, and Google wasn't much help so..."

You burst out laughing, because it was quite possibly the strangest gift you'd ever received. "That's kind of cute," you admitted.

"Yeah, I know. Don't tell anyone though," he added, winking at you.

You were still laughing lightly as you set the package down on the coffee table. "You really didn't have to anything though."

"Hell yeah I did," he said, "You went through a lot to do this."

"So did you," you said, "I was a mess."

He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again. "Yeah, you kind of were," he said, and you both laughed, "You weren't that bad though. You just cried at everything, and you weren't even sad. It was actually pretty cute."

"Tyler - " you said, noticing that he'd very specifically not mentioned the stair incident. He didn't talk about it after it happened at all, actually. Although, you noticed in the couple of days after that he'd look at you right after the timer on your phone when off to signal it was time for your shot, and you'd know the alarm he'd set on his phone had just gone off. But he didn't approach you, not until you asked for his help.

"Seriously, I've seen way crazier girls, honesty," he said, "I've just never seen you that bad."

"Still," you said seriously, "thank you."

He shrugged, his hand squeezing your shoulder, "I was happy to."

"You were happy to?" you said skeptically, because that was not the word you'd use to use to describe it.

"Being able to help my friend with something she needed help with?" Tyler said, "Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty happy about that."

You smiled softly when he pulled your head towards his, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

He'd stayed to eat dinner when Danielle came back and there was a movie on TV, but you couldn't really even pay attention to it, because all you were thinking was that you were so incredibly lucky to have such good friends. You didn't have a lot of friends, quite honestly, but it didn't even matter, because you'd much rather have just a couple of friends who would do practically anything for you.

"Ugh," Tyler groaned, pushing himself up off the couch and running his hand through his hair.

"You alright there?" Danielle asked.

"Yeah," he answered, "I just know the dogs are going to be pissed when I go home and they realize I went to go see their mom without them. I'm not looking forward to it."

You blinked, shaking your head, "What did you just say?"

Tyler turned to you frowning, "I said the dogs are not going to be happy when they sniff me and realize I was with you," he said, "What did you think I said?"

You just shrugged and he laughed, coming over to pat you on the top of the head, placing another kiss there, and you found yourself pulling your legs up to cover the spot of the couch he'd just vacated.

"Make sure that one gets some sleep," he instructed to Danielle. And even after the door shut and you knew he left, you were staring at Danielle, expecting her to react or verify what he'd just said, but she was silent.

****

You were walking back to your office, talking to a colleague the first time your phone rang. You glanced quickly at it - Tyler - and then you put in back in your pocket. You were just sitting down at your desk, running your hand over your face as you looked at your computer when it rang again. Tyler again.

And, by now, your chest had started to constrict a bit, wondering if something was wrong. He didn't call you often - usually it was a text or Snapchat, but it was even more rare occurrence for him to call you twice in a row like that.

"Hello?" you answered tentatively.

"You'll never believe what I found," he said, and you relaxed when you realized he sounded excited and not upset.

"What?" you asked, your hand going to your computer mouse and opening up your inbox.

"I was on Tinder, and I found this guy but he's not just a guy, he comes with a girl, too. They're looking for a third," he said, sounding way too excited about this fact.

You shut your eyes, rubbing your hand over your forehead like you had a headache. "Tyler, are you seriously calling me at work to tell me you're having a threesome?" you asked in a harsh whisper, very aware of the fact that you'd just said 'threesome' at work.

"What?" he asked, sounding startled, "No, no they're looking for a girl."

"What are you talking about?"

"You could be the girl," he said, sounding proud of this fact.

"Tyler. Oh my god."

He laughed loudly, so that you had to pull the phone away from your ear, "Yeah, I kind of knew you wouldn't be into it. Still, I thought it was something, you know."

"And you had to call me at work to tell me?"

"Oh. Right," he said, like he had just remembered that you had a job, "Well, I'll let you know if they swipe back right on you. Even if you're not into it, it'd be kind of an ego boost to know that possibility is out there, right?"

You were blinking rapidly trying to comprehend what the hell he was saying. "Wait. You're on my Tinder?"

"Yeah," he replied.

You frowned, because you had your phone in your hand, and you were definately talking to him on it. "How?"

"I logged into your account on my phone," he said, like it was obvious, "By the way, you're really not supposed to use the same password for everything."

"Tyler," you said seriously, and he laughed.

" I'm just kidding, you know," he said, "Well, those people definately exist, but I really am getting you together a nice assortment of options."

You took your hands off your keyboard, running a hand over your face. "Options?" You slowly pulled your phone away from your ear, tapping on your Tinder app and your eyes widening as you scrolled through seemingly endless new messages. "How long have you been spending doing this?" you asked when you set your phone back against your ear.

"I don't know, a couple hours?" he said, and you could practically hear the shrug in his voice.

"God, Tyler, I'm not that desperate."

"Obviously," he agreed with you.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Not really, no. I'm bored and you're at work," he whined, like it was an inconvenience to him, "Besides, this is kind of fun for me, actually."

"Fun?" you questioned.

"Yeah. Can I keep doing it?" he asked hopefully.

"Uh, yeah, sure," you said. Because what would it hurt, really?

"Okay, I really gotta go, I'm super busy," Tyler said.

You rolled your eyes. "Not like I'm at work or anything."

"Great, so I'll let you know if that threesome couple gets back to you."

"Tyler!" you yelled, but he had already hung up, likely expecting your reaction. Caroline, the receptionist, looked curiously into your office, but you just smiled to show her everything was fine.

You'd just responded to an email, which had taken literally 3 minutes, when your phone started vibrating across the desk. You sighed, hitting the answer button and bringing it to your ear without even taking your eyes of your computer, typing with one hand. "Tyler, I swear to god if you're calling to tell me about a potential threesome or an orgy, I'm going to kill you."

The line was silent for a moment and then there was a small cough, followed by a male voice, which was very much not Tyler's, asked, "Who's Tyler?"

Your eyes widened, your hand going to your mouth and your hands dropping from the keyboard, moving back and forth in your desk chair. "Uh...who's this?"

"Thomas, Tom," the voice said, and you were trying to run through your Rolodex in your mind, but nothing was coming up.

"Um, from Tinder?" he tried, "You gave me your number? Said it was alright if I called?"

Oh, holy fuck.

You were looking rapidly around your office, like somehow, someone was going to come in to rescue you. "Look, Thomas, I'm sorry, but my lame ass friend has been on my Tinder trying to set me up on a date," you said through pursed lips.

"So.. that's not...that wasn't you?"

"No," you said in a small voice, "Look, I'm sorry that you got in the middle of this."

"Yeah, that's..uh...that's okay," he said, and then cleared his throat, "Is this friend's name Tyler?"

"Yep," you said, your voice dripping with annoyance.

You went through the rest of your workday, alternating between feeling completely mortified and slightly enraged. Once you were finished, you drove directly to Tyler's house, not even stopping at home to get changed out of your work clothes or shower.

You marched right in, and Gerry greeted you at the door right away, but you pet him absentmindedly because he wasn't going to be able to protect Tyler from you. You strode throughout the house with purpose, finding Tyler sitting on the couch watching T.V. with the other dogs. He turned his head at the sound of your footsteps and didn't seem surprised at all to see it was you, probably having recognized you from the sound of your steps alone. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, you can," you said tersely.

He just sat there, looking you up and down and taking in your blouse and skirt. "Fancy."

You sighed, hating that he was trying to distract you from the subject at hand. "Why didn't you tell me about Thomas?"

Tyler's eyes widened, "He called you already? He must really like you," he said playfully.

"Not after what I said to him," you said, sighed and plunking down on the couch, running your hand over your face.

"What did you say?"

"I said 'Tyler, don't call me at work to talk about threesomes and orgies,'", you said.

Tyler immediately started giggling, so hard that his body was rocking on the couch.

"It's not funny," you said, even though you were starting to laugh, your face was still red, "This is your fault."

"How is it MY fault?" he asked, looking appalled that you would even think such a thing, "I didn't tell you to say that."

"I thought you he was you, obviously," you said, "And you didn't tell me he was going to call."

"I was going to, I just didn't think he would call right away," Tyler said, and then added teasingly, "He likes you."

"Well, I kind of fucked that up right away."

"What? You told him you weren't interested?"

You shrugged, because you didn't say that, exactly, but it was pretty much implied. And the whole situation was just...awkward.

"Nooo," Tyler ground out, like something was rolling away from him and he couldn't catch it. "I liked that he wanted to call you. It was classy. Unlike freaking Mark who didn't even hear the sound off your voice before he asked you out."

"I thought you liked Mark."

"I don't like him if you don't like him. Duh," Tyler responded.

You shrugged again, falling into a comfortable silence, and watching what Tyler had on T.V. All at once, you stood up.

"Where are you going?" Tyler asked.

"Wine," you said simply, going to the kitchen, standing on your tiptoes to get a couple of wine glasses down from the top cabinet, filling each glass half full. You walked back into the living room, pressing on into Tyler's hand as you walked by.

"Mmmm...thanks," he said.

You nodded your head in acknowledgment going back to where you'd been sitting on the couch, this time getting more comfortable and curling your legs under yourself, taking a slow sip of wine.

"Which one is this?" he asked.

"It's the same one we had last night," you frowned, looking at him like he was insane.

"Oh," he said softly, and you laughed.

Your phone chimed from where you'd placed it on the end table, and you reached over to grab it as you took another sip of wine. It was from a number you didn't have saved in your phone but, from the message, it was pretty evident who it was from.

Not gonna lie, I've kind of been wondering all afternoon if you killed your friend or not.

You laughed under your breath, adjusting yourself so the wine glass was held steady against your body, reading the message over again.

You caught Tyler looking at you out of the corner of his eye, eyebrows raised slightly. "What are you smiling about over there?"

"Nothing," you said, your tone making it clear that it was, indeed , but you weren't ready to share it with him quite yet.

You stared at your phone, trying to craft out a clever message to send back. Even though it felt equally strange and excited. Even though you weren't quite sure what you wanted anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

You'd forgotten how good it felt when things were new, and fresh, and exciting. Everything felt just a little lighter and brighter, and you were trying desperately to regain control over your brain. 

Everyone else in your workspace had already cleared out for lunch, so you heard him coming before you saw him. You smiled at Tyler as he stepped into your office, holding your finger up to indicate you'd be just a minute, the phone cradled in the nook between your neck and shoulder. Tyler sat down in the chair that was set across from your desk, his hands braced on the arms, looking around your office at the degrees hanging on your wall, taking in the bulletin board you had filled with semester calendars and internship opportunities, as if he was actually curious and had never been in your office before.

Very slowly, he leaned forward, carefully turning one of the picture frames that sat on your desk around slowly to not make any noticeable noise to the person you were talking to on the phone You smiled, shaking your head, because he did this every time he came into your office. It was a picture of you, laid out across the grass with all three of his dogs clamouring to lick you and get your attention, your head thrown back, laughing.

He turned it around every single time because he insisted that every single student and faculty member who came into your office deserved to see that picture, even going so far as to say just seeing the cute dogs would really alleviate a ton of stress. Especially for the ones you complained about, those stressed students you'd meet with that were about to lose their minds. You'd eventually have to talk them down, and explain that their one course would not make or break their academic career. However, as you explained to him, you like to be able to see it out of the corner of your eye when you were on your computer.

"Ready?" Tyler asked after you'd hung up the phone.

"Mhmm..." you agreed, logging out of your computer with one hand as you stood up.

"Who're those from?" he asked playfully, eying the daisies you'd had set in an oversized glass on your desk. You just smiled, because he knew damn well who they were from. Tyler just smiled, nudging you with his shoulder, and you knew he was trying to get you to blush.

"I really like him," Tyler said, as you walked outside, heading to your go-to lunch spot on campus.

"You haven't even met him," you said, laughing as you breathing in the fresh air, enjoying how quiet it was on campus now that the summer semester had started.

"Doesn't matter," Tyler said casually, "He sent you flowers after you went out. And, from what you've told me about him, he seems like a good dude."

And he was, really, which is why you felt bad because, even then, you knew you were holding back. What's worse, was that the daisies were lasted a suspiciously long time, still thriving even though Thomas had then sent to your office two days ago.

You see, after the whole mix-up incident, you kind of thought you were done. When Thomas had texted you that night asking if your friend was still alive, you'd wanted to reply something witty. You'd wondered if you should wait before replying too, not wanting to see too eager or too intense. But, you weren't into playing games, so you'd just responded, "Hahaha. He'll live. But thanks for asking."

It was later that night, when you were crawling into bed that you'd gotten another text: 'Honestly, though, any woman who will let her friend run her Tinder for her must be pretty brave."

You'd laughed out loud, because, earlier that evening, Tyler had revealed to you that he had 7 dates all lined up for you and all you had to do was choose, and you'd had to tell him to cool it.

If you were being honest though, you were pretty impressed by Thomas' use of proper grammar and punctuation in just a few texts. You wished you could think of a clever response but you just couldn't, and you just decided to put everything out there, "Honestly, I'm not brave at all :) "

Somehow, you'd managed to keep texting, back and forth for an hour, which was impressive for you because it was past your usual bedtime. It wasn't until two days later that things progressed, when Thomas had texted you again, saying that his dog would love to have a playdate with yours. And you responded that those weren't your dogs, and then quickly added that you'd still love to have a playdate though. So, you'd met at a park, and grabbed a couple of coffees, which was much more your style than the dinner date. The next morning, you'd arrived at work only to get called to reception for that delivery of daisies.

"So," Tyler said, as you both got your lunch, stretching out on the grass in the sun, taking advantage of the warmer weather after a week of rain, "tell me about him."

"Tell you about him?" you asked, your mind suddenly going blank.

"Mhmm," Tyler said, taking a bite of his food, and looking curiously at you when you weren't talking, "What kind of dog does he have?"

"A husky cross," you answered.

"Cute?" Tyler questioned, "The dog, not him."

You laughed, "Yeah, she's cute."

"Good," Tyler said, nodding like that was a very important factor. "What did you guys do last night?"

"We went to a painting class."

Tyler immediately scrunched up his face, and you laughed, "What?"

"That sounds super nerdy."

"It was fun actually," you argued, "They had wine."

"Yeah, well, you're a nerd so you would think that," he quipped, and you gave him a look to let him know you were unimpressed. "Did you kiss him yet?"

Tyler looked at you, and before you could even answer spoke, "Nevermind, I can already tell you totally did just by the look on your face."

"Oh my god," you said under your breath. He was right, though, the two of you had shared a rather chaste yet nice kiss after your last date.

"Tongue?" Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised, and you had to laugh.

"Since when do you care so much about this stuff?"+

"Since it's you," he said, giving you a look like he couldn't even believe why you would ask such a thing.

It wasn't until a few days later, when a group of you were over at Tyler's having an evening bonfire, that you'd had to consider Thomas again. You'd gone inside to grab another round of drinks, and Tyler had followed you in a few minutes later, your phone in your hand, and you realized you'd left it outside, "You know who called," he said, waving your phone at you.

"Thanks," you said, taking it from him and putting your phone in your pocket, going back to preparing your drink.

"Aren't you going to call him back?" Tyler asked.

"I will," you said, "Later." When you'd worked up the courage to, and finally had a rough idea of what you were going to say.

"You could have invited him over here tonight, you know. You still could," Tyler said, gesturing to your phone in your back pocket.

"That's okay," you said, taking a sip of your drink and trying to focus on visualizing all your muscles relaxing, the stress leaving your body.

Tyler looked in the direction of the noise coming from outside and then back at you, "If you're not ready for a big group thing, then maybe the three of us could do something? I don't know, I kind of want to meet him."

"Tyler..."

He made a noise like he'd just gotten a great idea. "We could take all the dogs to the park or something."

"Tyler, I don't think that's going to work."

"But don't you think we should make sure they all get along?" he asked, and you laughed, shaking your head.

"Yeah, I don't think - I don't think I'm going to see him again."

" What!" Tyler said, the work coming out as a sound of surprise rather than a question, his eyes widening and his chin jutting towards you. "Why?"

"It's just....not really working out."

"But you seemed so..." He started, his face screwed up in concentration and you hated how committed he seemed to be towards figuring this whole thing out. "Did something happen? Is he really an asshole?"

"No, he's great, I just..."

"You just what?"

"I don't know, I'm just not...really into dating right now, I guess," you said, taking another sip of your drink and turning away from him. "Why do we always have to discuss my love life anyways? What about you?"

"I'm not ready to be tied down right now, and don't change the subject," Tyler said, now leaning against the counter to look at you, "You were the one who said you wanted..."

"Well I changed my mind."

"But why?" He questioned, his voice light and prodding.

"I...just...need to figure some stuff out first."

"What stuff?" He asked in the same time.

"Goddamnit, Tyler, I don't know! That's the whole point!"

He looked taken aback at your uncharacteristic outburst, leaning in close and lowering his voice to a whisper, "Are you on your period right now?" He had his eyes closed, bracing for you to hit him immediately. Instead though, you just laughed, thankful for the break in the tension.

"I just, need a break right now," you said simply, and he nodded like he understood. Or was trying to.

" You seemed happy though," Tyler said, not like he was trying to change your mind, but more so that he just noticed a change. He wrapped his arm around you, pulling your head into his shoulder. "I just want you to be happy, y'know?"

You nodded against him, because you did know. And you were working on it.

***

"Dammit," you mumbled. Tyler had had a photo shoot all day, so you'd taken the dogs for a hike, grateful for the company. Only now that you got back in your car, you'd realized you'd left the keys to his house on your kitchen counter when you'd run back inside to grab some sunscreen and a hat, realizing it was warmer out that you'd thought.

You turned air conditioning on, hearing the dogs panting in the backseat. You drove back to your house, keeping one arm braced across the passenger seat to try and keep Gerry from climbing into the front.

Once you got home, you got out, opening the back door and promoting, "C'mon." Marshall and Cash jumped out in succession, landing by your feet but Gerry, however, took his opportunity to jump into the front seat and then looked at you, confused, through the driver's side window and then climbed into the passenger seat. You sighed, opening the driver's side door. "C'mon, Gerry. Gerry, this way."

Finally he got the idea, jumping out of the driver's side door. "Good boy," you said, shutting both doors carefully after making sure all ears and tails were out of the way, Gerry looking up at you expectantly. "Sorry, dude, I don't have any treats."

All three dogs obediently followed you into your house, trotting ahead of you once you opened the door. "You guys thirsty?" You asked. You'd given them water while you were out, but it was fairly warm, so you grabbed a Tupperware container, filling it with water and setting it on the floor, and then grabbing yourself a glass. Now that you were out of the sun, you were realizing just how sweaty you were. Since the dogs were all laying down on your kitchen tile floor now, you figured you might as well grab a shower. You weren't exactly sure when Tyler was going to be home, so you sent him a quick text to let him know you had the dogs at your place and would bring them home.

You took your time in the shower, letting the cool water bring your body temperature down, because the last thing you wanted to do was get dressed only to start sweating again. You thought you'd heard your front door open, but thought you were just imagining it until you heard a quick knock at the bathroom door, followed by Tyler's voice yelling over the sound of the shower, "It's just me."

"Okay," you yelled back, finishing conditioning your hair and rinsing yourself off. You rolled your hair up in a towel and dried yourself off, wrapping the towel around yourself and going to your bedroom to grab some clothes. When you got there, Cash was laid out on your made bed, and you laughed, grabbing a sundress and throwing it on, heading out into the living room. Tyler was sitting on your couch with the other two dogs and he looked over his shoulder when he heard you, "Did you lose the third one?"

You laughed under your breath, "No, he's in my bed."

Tyler raised an eyebrow, "What? Does he think he lives here now?"

You just shrugged, going to grab your car keys from where you'd left them on your kitchen counter, "I left their leashes in the car because I was going to bring them home. I'll go grab them."

"I'm not in a rush to leave," Tyler said, "All my reason to go home is here, anyways. I only just came by because you texted me right when I was heading home."

You rocked back and forth on your heels, because you were pretty sure you were going to forget, and you were 100% positive he wasn't going to remember, and then you'd be getting a call tomorrow morning with him complaining that he couldn't find where you put the dogs' leashes.

Tyler stood up, coming towards you and extending his hand, "Give me your keys, I'll grab them. You do whatever you need to do with your hair," he said, gesturing towards your towel turban.

And you laughed, because you weren't planning to do anything with your hair now, other than just let it air dry. But you weren't going to complain.

"Don't bring them inside though, make sure you put them in your car," you said, and he gave you a look like 'are you serious', but you still pushed it, "You'll forget them otherwise."

You were pretty sure you heard him say 'yes, mom' under his breath, but you ignored it, going to the bathroom and unwinding the towel from your hair. You grabbed it along with your sweaty clothes, throwing them in the washing machine. You were just sitting back down on the couch when Tyler walked back in, a blue binder in his hands, and your eyes widened immediately, your hand reaching out to try and take it from him even though he was all the way across the room, "Hey, I grabbed this, too, I thought you might need it for work," his voice trailed off as noticed your expression before you could even try to hide it and he grinned cheekily, "What is this?"

"Tyler..." you said warningly. already on the edge of your seat, ready to leap up.

"No, what is this?" he asked again, teasing his thumb between the opening of the binder, like he could flip it open at any moment.

"Tyler, it's mine," you said, getting up from the couch and hurrying over to him, trying to grab that blue binder out of his hand, but he just grinned wickedly and held it out of your reach, lifting it over his head so you couldn't reach it. You even tried to jump, like some ridiculous game of keepaway, but he just kept moving it away from you. "Give it back," you said, realizing those were the wrong words as that would only make him want to keep it for.

"What is this?" he asked once more, teasingly, failing to notice the anxiety in your voice and mistaken it for mild embarrassment. When you didn't answer, he moved it so it was out of your reach but so that he could easily flip the covers apart and see what was inside.

"Tyler, don't," you said but, because he had no fucking boundaries, he opened it anyways, and you could see his lips moving as he read, his amused face slowly scrunching up in confusion as he processed what was written on the page.

"Caucasian, English, A+ Blood type, Light brown hair" he read aloud, looking from the open binder to you, "Seriously, what the fuck is this?"

You took a deep breath in and then exhaled, the room seeming way too quiet all of a sudden. And you were going to tell him, eventually, you just weren't planning on it happened quite like this. His eyes were searching yours, and he didn't seem to know whether to be concerned, or worried, or amused, and you couldn't even begin to consider what it was he was imagining. You broke his gaze and said in a small voice, "It's a sperm donor catalogue."

"What?" Tyler reacted.

You just kind of nodded, turning and walking to lower yourself down to sit on the couch. "I want to have a baby," you said, in a soft but steady voice.

Because you were positive, you'd thought about this alot. And, even though you'd had your eggs frozen, you still couldn't help but be concerned, worried that by the time everything was aligned perfectly in your life on the outside, your insides would me such a mess that pregnancy just wasn't possible. And, sure, you could always have a surrogate, but that might not work either. And there was adoption, and it was something you'd thought about too, for the future, depending just how things went. But you wanted to try, just for your first child, at least, to carry your own child while you were 100% positive that it was possible.

Tyler's mouth opened, the skin around his eyes was still scrunched up and the blue binder was hanging limply at his side, and you put your hand up, "Just, don't, okay? I've already heard it all. And I've already made my mind up, I'm not changing it."

"What?" Tyler said, walking over to sit on the section of the sectional that was opposite to you. "Someone said you shouldn't?"

And you just nodded, looking straight down at the carpet, leaning your forearms on your thighs.

"Who?" Tyler asked, and you noticed that he looked mildly annoyed, his hand gripping that blue binder in his hand so hard his knuckles were turning white. He seemed to notice, releasing it and placing it on the couch beside him.

"My mom and sister," you said.

Tyler's face was still scrunched up, and he ran a hand over his face, sniffling like he had a bad headache from a cold. "Why?"

"I think they're just worried about how hard it's going to be to do this on my own," you said. And you got it, really you did, but of course you'd already thought about this, carefully considering all the positives and the potential overwhelm. And you just kind of really wished they'd been as excited as you were, before trying to bring you down.

Tyler scoffed, "I'm sorry, but that's ridiculous. Of course you can handle it. If there's something you really want, you've always been able to handle it. Like, it's not even a doubt in my mind, you've got this, if it's what you want."

"I want this," you confirmed.

"Does Danielle know?" he asked, and you nodded, "What did she say?"

"She was..." you started, not knowing how to put it into words, but she was a little shocked, but overall happy and promised you that she'd be there. "She was supportive."

"See? We know you best, anyways. Don't worry about what your family said," he said, like that made his point. He was quiet for a moment and then spoke again, "Is this why you didn't want to date anymore?"

You laughed under your breath and nodded, "I want this more." Like, more than you'd ever wanted anything in your life.

Tyler was smiling, looking over at you, "Seriously, you've never had any trouble doing anything when you really wanted it. I've always known you'd be a fantastic mother."

"Yeah?" you asked, turning your head to rest your cheek on your hand.

"Yeah," he confirmed, sounding completely sure of himself, "I think it's fantastic, babe."

Even though you were smiling, you felt yourself tear up a bit, because this was exactly the reaction you had been wanting this whole time.

You sat back on the couch, absentmindedly running your fingers over Marshall's head, who was curled up next you you.

"I'm just surprised you're doing it like this though," Tyler said, holding up that blue binder again and then setting it back down.

You laughed uncomfortably, "That's kind of the only way I can do it. I'm not in a relationship, if you hadn't noticed."

He gave you a look of disbelief. "No it's not, you could ask someone who know rather than a stranger. Like, a friend or a —"

"Yeah, right," you interrupted sarcastically, "Who am I going to ask?"

He flipped his palm up to indicate he didn't know, and then flipped it it back gesturing down his body like 'hello, I'm right here.'

"Oh my god, Tyler, you can't just...say stuff like that," you said, even though he hadn't said it, it was completely clear what he was implying.

"Why not?" he asked simply, completely relaxed on the couch like this wasn't a big deal at all.

You sighed, taking your hand off of Marshall and running it through your hair. You honestly had to explain everything to him. "Because, it's not that simple. Do you seriously think you've going to be okay knowing you have a biological child out there that you don't even know?"

"But it won't be like that," Tyler said, "It's gonna be your kid. And any kid of yours is gonna be in my life."

"Tyler," you said again.

"What?" he asked, "I'm not ready to be a father, and you're obviously ready to be a mother, so I get to be, like, the cool uncle? Sounds pretty great to me."

"Oh my god."

"You know I have really great genes," he said.

"No, you don't just...say this stuff without thinking," you said.

"I love kids," he continued.

"Then have your own," you said now, gesturing with your hands. He opened his mouth to speak again, but you gave him a stern look, letting him know that this conversation was over. "You don't just...offer people your sperm. Jesus, Tyler, for god's sake."


	9. Chapter 9

He what?" Danielle uttered in disbelief, her eyes widening as she very slowly set the glass of wine in her hand back down on the coffee table, and you just nodded.

"Oh yeah," you said, taking a sip of your own wine.  
Danielle's eyes were searching all over the place, like she was trying to comprehend this information. "That's –"  
"Insane?" you finished, "Oh, I know."

Danielle was still looking at you, not saying anything, and you sighed, leaning back against the couch. "Like, he never, ever thinks before he speaks," you continued, "Like, who the hell just hears someone wants to have a baby and then just goes, 'well, here, have some of my sperm!'"

You were being ridiculous in your intimidation, you knew that, but it felt kind of good to laugh at the whole ridiculousness of the situation.  
"He said it like that?" Danielle asked.

"No, no, of course not," you said.  
"Well, what did he say exactly?"

"He..." you started, recalling the conversation, "he asked if I considered asking someone I knew."  
"Did you?" Danielle asked.

"No," you said immediately. That wasn't how it was supposed to work, quite honestly. You'd done your homework, you'd gone to the clinics, and this was how it was supposed to happen. You were supposed to select one of these case numbers, one of these fine gentlemen who had already decided to donate their sperm, who'd already done it in fact, and it was all just waiting for you.

"I'm not just asking someone for their sperm," you said, quite definitely. Could you even imagine just going up to your co-worker one day and being like, hey Bob, can I have some of your sperm? Yeah, no.

"Right, of course not," Danielle agreed. You were pulling your hair back, sinking back further into the couch when your phone rang. You leaned forward, looking at the name on the screen.

"Speak of the devil," you murmured, bringing it to your ear to answer it. Before you could even get a "hello" out though, all you could hear was pounding music, and you remember that Tyler was supposed to be at a concert tonight. At first you thought he'd pocket dialed you, but you could definately hear him murmuring something into the phone, though you had absolutely no hope of making it out.

"Tyler!" you yelled. You could hear him continue to say something vaguely, but it was just the tone of his voice overshadowed by pounding music. "Tyler, I can't hear you!"

It continued for a minute more, and then he hung up, you assumed, and the line went silent.  
"What was that?" Danielle asked, and you just shrugged. "Have you talked to him since...?"

You shook your head 'no', but it hadn't even been 24 hours.  
"Well, what happened after?" she asked.

"We just wanted a movie," you said, as you had, ordering dinner and turning on Netflix, and then he'd taken the dogs home.

Now, though, you were doing pretty much the same thing, watching Netflix with Danielle and catching up on your show. It wasn't under the second episode was about halfway through that your phone rang again. Tyler.

"Hello?" you answered tentatively this time, but it was pretty quiet, actually. And you could hear what sounded like wind, or something.

"Hey," he said, and you could tell right away, just from the sound of his voice that he'd been drinking.  
"Tyler, where are you?"

"Walking home," he answered, "Where are you?"  
"I'm at home," you said. You looked quickly at Danielle and gave her a signal to let her know you'd be back in a moment and could keep the show going.

"Can you come over?"  
"I'm - Danielle's here," you said.

"Oh," he said, and then asked, "are you guys talking about me?"  
"No," you said convincingly. Because you had been, but you weren't anymore.

"Oh," he repeated again, "Girls usually talk about me."

You laughed lightly, glancing back into the living room, "Did you want to come over here?"

"No, I just needed to talk to you."

"Well, you can come over here and talk to me," you said, not understanding what was going on. You mentally calculated that you hadn't even started on your second glass of wine yet, so you'd be okay to drive, "Do you need me to come pick you up?"

"No, no," he said, and you could hear the wind again, "I need to talk to you alone."  
"Tyler, is everything alright?" you asked slowly.  
"Yeah, don't worry about, babe. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

Before you could even answer, he hung up, and you walked back into the living room, confusion evident on your face.

"Is everything alright?" Danielle asked, and you shrugged, sitting back down on the couch and pouring yourself a second glass of wine. Typically, you didn't have more than one glass on a weeknight but you were kind of wishfully hoping you'd be pregnant sooner rather than later, and figured you might as well enjoy it while you could. You sent off a quick text to Tyler asking him to text you back when he got home.

"He just said he needed to talk to me alone."  
Danielle's eyes widened for a split second and then regained their focus. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No, no," you said, waving her off, "he's probably just drunk and thinks he's lonely but he really just needs sleep."

"Mmm..." she mused, and then continued, "Won't it be awkward?"  
"Hmmm?" you asked, as you phone buzzed with a text from Tyler with the single word "home" complete with a picture of his sock feet on the kitchen tile floor, which you supposed he sent as evidence to prove he really was home.  
"Won't it be awkward to see him again after what he said?" she asked, and you frowned immediately.

"No, of course not," you said breezily, "I've known him for 13 years, not much is really awkward. And, besides, it's not like he actually meant it."  
You fully expected to not hear Tyler mention needing to talk to you again, and assumed he'd forget about the whole phone call. However, you came out of a morning of meetings to see your phone filled with messages, all spaced out with messages sent over the past four or so hours.

Tyler: Could you come over please?  
Tyler: Still need to talk to you  
Tyler: Please  
Tyler: I know where you live so if you don't answer I'm coming over

You laughed once, under your breath, sitting down at your desk and responding "I'm at work."

Your phone buzzed again before you even had a chance to set it down.

Tyler: I know where you work too :)

You laughed, and said that you could come by after work after you stopped at home to get changed if he was still going to be around, to which he replied 'I'll be waiting."

You did as he said, only when you got to his house, he opened the door before you even had time to open it, like he'd actually been waiting for you. He stepped aside so you could come in, watching you the whole time. And the weird thing was, he seemed kind of twitchy, like he was nervous, even wiping his hands on his shorts.

" Are you okay?"  
"Me?" He questioned, "Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

You were still confused as you followed him into the kitchen, watching as he pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water, pushing it into your hands. You accepted it taking a tentative sip, because that seemed to be what he was waiting for you to do.

"So..." he started, leaning to the side, his fingers tracing patterns on the kitchen counter, "You know that thing I said a couple of days ago?"  
There was only one thing he could be referring to, of course, so you answered that you did.

" Yeah," he said slowly and shyly, turning his head to look at you, "I probably shouldn't have done that."

He looked so concerned that you had to laugh. "I told you you shouldn't have said that."

He visibly relaxed for a second, but then he seemed to actually process what you said, putting all the pieces together, "What? No. I meant I shouldn't have said it like that."

Strangely, it felt like everything slowed down all of a sudden, and you weren't even entirely sure if anything else existed. "What?" you asked breathlessly, your throat dry.

"I should have, like, sat down and talked to you about it properly, not just blurt it out like that," he explained, "And I made it about me, kinda. And it's not - it's about you."  
Your mind, however, was still in a completely different place. "You meant it?"

Tyler smiled softly at you, "I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

That glass of water that you were holding in your hand suddenly felt like it was going to slide out of your grasp in one quick movement, shattering on the tile floor, and sending glass and water shooting everywhere. You gripped your other hand over it, walking and shakily lowering it safely to the counter. You stepped back, noticing that Tyler had followed your movements so he was standing right next to you. "I didn't ask you to," you said simply.

"I know you didn't ask me to," he said firmly but gently, his hands going to clasp behind your lower back as you turned to him, yet still keeping the distance between you so he could look at your eyes. "I'm offering."

While your eyes felt misty and vulnerable, his were steady. You shook your head slowly, your face scrunching up, and you were positive the way your cheek was twitching was evident. "This isn't....this isn't funny."

His head titled off to the side, his hands still braced behind your low back. "I'm not laughing," he said, and then added, "I want you to have options. You should have options."

You swallowed hard. "This is a big deal, Tyler. It's not..." you looked away and then back at him again, "It's a really big deal to me."  
"I know, I know," he said, "It's a pretty big deal to me, too."

But you didn't think he could even possibly comprehend the amount of hours and emotional energy that you'd spent contemplating this whole decision to even try to have a baby, and you couldn't comprehend how he could just blurt something like that out, in a split second decision. "No, you're not hearing me," your hand slid down to his forearm, like you wanted to push it off, to get him to stop touching you, but you just wrapped your hand around and gripped it because you needed something to hold onto, and he didn't even flinch, "you have to think about this, Tyler."

He just shook his head slowly, speaking softly, "No, I don't, there's nothing for me to think about. Of course I would do this for you, babe."

Your hand moved to the back of your neck, looking off behind his shoulder.

"There'd be a child who is biologically yours. But it wouldn't be yours. Do you really think you could do that?"

The thing was, you couldn't even feel how anyone would be able to do that. Maybe it was the fact that you had always known you'd wanted children or just the way that you were wired, but you couldn't imagine knowing that someone else was raising what felt like your child, like your heart was living somewhere outside your body and you couldn't even know it, nurture it, or protect it. And you knew that there had to be people out there who were okay with it, it was evident from the seemingly infinite list of sperm donors you'd been given, but you couldn't imagine it for yourself.

"Could I do it for a stranger? Like in a sperm bank? No," Tyler admitted, "But for someone I know and love? Yeah, there's no question."

"Tyler..."

"Shhhh....you don't have to say anything right now," he said, his hands going to the back of your head, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead, "Just... the offer's open."  
****  
It turned out Danielle was right: things did get awkward. You felt like Tyler was constantly watching you, expecting you to bring it up, to give him a solid answer or and explanation or just...something. There was this constant, huge unspoken weight in the room.

The worst part was, though, that Tyler really wasn't treating you differently at all. He didn't bring it up once, he didn't look at you expectantly, and he seemed completely unbothered by the whole elephant in the room. The only change you noticed, really, was that he seemed to be a little more genuine around you, the amount that he teased you cut down significantly.

So the awkwardness was all on you. It was you who couldn't seem to get the thought off your mind, who couldn't seem to think that there was a ticking clock forcing you to make some kind of decision.

You were sitting off in the grass at Tyler's house, watching the water and listening to the background noises of the 'few people' he'd said he was having over. You hadn't wanted to come, quite honestly, but you felt like you should get out and at least be around people, rather than sitting in your apartment alone. Danielle was sitting next to you, talking about something that had happened at work but, really, your were only half-listening, the rest of your focus just on the movement of the water.

There was a flurry of loud laughter, and the both of you turned your head, the outdoor lights illuminating Tyler kissing Meghan messily on the cheek, a drink in his hand, all while simultaneously dancing to the music. You turned your head back to face the water, "So, you guys ever get that case figured out?" you promoted, and Danielle started talking again.

It wasn't until sometime later when Meghan came to sit down with the two of you, commenting about what a nice night it was and you smiled at her, bringing her into the conversation, while most of the boys seemed to be off in their own world on the deck.

Tyler wasn't too far behind through, carrying two drinks in his hand, the glass clinking together and you were surprised when he bent down in front of you, gesturing for you to take the glass, "Here, I made this for you."  
"I'm not drinking right now," you said firmly, and he frowned, almost stumbling back, and you knew, somewhere in his mind, he was likely already wondering if you'd started the process of trying to get pregnant and just hadn't told him, and you weren't sure what hurt him more: the thought that you hadn't talked to him, or your icy tone. He kept his lips pressed together though, even though Meghan looked a little taken aback at your reaction, looking from Danielle to Meghan,

"Would you two mind giving us a moment?"

They moved to stand up, but you beat them to it, "It's alright, I was just leaving anyways."  
You knew the three of them had to be confused, puzzled, but they said nothing, other than Tyler's faint "Y/N..." letting you leave.

Tyler didn't mention it at all though, not even two days later when you were sitting on his bed, watching him pack, sipping on an afternoon coffee you'd grabbed yourself on the way over. "Which one?" Tyler asked, holding up two black t-shirts that looked nearly identical to you.

"What's the difference?" you asked, and he just shrugged, folding them both messily and setting them in the open suitcase on the bed. You sighed, setting your coffee down on the nightstand, picking up the shirts and rolling them both methodically, and then packing them back into the suitcase.

"You don't have to do that," Tyler laughed.  
"You'll be able to fit so much more stuff this way, though," you protested. You still couldn't believe, with how much traveling that he didn't that he couldn't pack efficiently.

"I'm only going to be gone for three days, I won't need that much stuff."  
"You will if you're planning to pack two black shirts that are pretty much the same," you quipped.

Tyler laughed again, sticking out his tongue at you, "Hey, I need options."  
"Yeah, but you also need to save room for your hair products."

"You're so mean," Tyler whined dramatically, grabbing another article of clothing from his dresser and not even bothering to try to fold it, just handing it over to you. "At least I don't pack like a girl."

"I do not!" you protested, seeing as how he was looking at you suggestively.   
"Nah, you're pretty good actually," he said, "for a girl, anyways."  
It was quiet for a moment, you were just holding a rolled shirt in your hand, sitting on the bed, while Tyler had a pair of shorts in his hands, just looking at each other.

Until Gerry jumped onto the bed, and you yelped in surprise, trying to prevent him from crawling into the open suitcase and messing up all your hard work.

"Gerry, Gerry, you're not coming," Tyler said, "Y/N's gonna stay with you, and you're going to have so much fun. You be good for her, 'k?"

You laughed under your breath, and Tyler turned to you, "What?"  
"Nothing," you said softly, even though you were still smiling.

After you'd eaten dinner, all three dogs and you and Tyler crashed on the couch, watching a movie in mostly silence, other than a few comments or laughs, or the dogs trying to get your attention.

"You still have a key to my place, right?" he asked.  
"Yes..." you answered slowly.

"Okay, because I'm leaving tomorrow morning so you'll have to let yourself in.  
"Yes, I know, Tyler," you said tersely keeping your eyes focused on the movie, pulling your knees into your chest. And you knew, it was all because you'd been surprised when he mentioned this trip a couple of days ago, forgetting that you'd agreed to watch the dogs.

"You're sure you're still okay with taking care of them?" he asked, "Because I can ask someone else, it's no big deal."

"Fuck, Tyler, I said I'd stay with them and I will," you spat, and he immediately looked taken aback at your outburst, "You know what? I'm going to go home. I'll come back for the dogs tomorrow."

You stood up quickly, not even looking at him as you passed by where he was sitting on the couch. As soon as you walked by though, he was on your heels. "Y/N..." he said, but you just kept walking until you were at the front door, putting on your shoes, "Y/N!"

You were about to reach for the doorknob when he stepped in front of you, "Why are you being like this?"

You opened your mouth and then you shut it again, because you knew you only wanted to yell that you weren't being like anything, which would only prolong things, and start a huge blowout fight. You shut your eyes, breathing deeply.

"Can you just move, please? I just want to go home. I'm tired."  
"Tired?" he mocked, "No, it's not just tonight. You've been like....this for the last couple of weeks."

You sighed, running a hand through your hair, because you couldn't argue with him. And you just needed him to get out of your way. "Would you just let me go home?"

His expression changed, softening in some ways but not others, speaking in an almost-whisper, taking a step closer to you, his voice raw, "It's like you're upset with me."

"Because I am upset with you!" you yelled.

His head moved backwards slightly, looking equal parts hurt and confused. "Why?"

"Because!" you cried out, your hands lifted and falling at your sides, "Because I thought I had it all figured out! And then you had to go and make me that offer, and I don't know anymore!"

His lips pressed together, and you could see him swallow. "Y/N...." he said, his hand trying to go to your arm to comfort you, but you pulled it out of his grasp.

"No, Tyler!"

He pulled his hand away from you. "What do you want me to do? I don't know what you want me to do."

"Fuck, Tyler, I wanted..." you brushed your hair back aggressively, "I wanted everything to not be so fucked up!"

"Y/N..."

"No!" you yelled again, just wanted to rip your own hair out of your head. "It's not fair! I didn't want to make this decision. I didn't think I'd have to...I...I'm so mad at my body for forcing me to do this."

Your hand was clenched into a fist, and you raised it up, "I'm so mad!" you yelled, and you had the inexplicable urge to just hit him, your hand going hard to his chest. And even though he was just standing there, not making a move to stop you, your stopped yourself, slowing your motion at the last second just resting your fist there.

"I'm so mad!" you yelled again, but this time your voice was breaking as hot, angry tears started rolling down your cheeks, the back of your throat burning. Your hand that was in a fist released, your palm gripping his chest, and you could feel his heart pounding beneath, your own heart pounding in your ears.

"I'm so mad, I'm so mad," you repeated, your voice lowering to a whisper, until it dissipated.

His hand wrapped around your wrist, just barely pulling your hand from his body and you looked up at him in surprise, realizing you'd just been staring at this chest the whole time, not even connecting your eyes with his. And then, all at once, his lips were connecting with yours, softly and deliberately, his hand still holding your arm, but his soft grip getting even looser.

Your eyes widened as soon as you realized what has happened, pressing with purpose to move him away from you. "What are you doing?"

He just took a couple steps backwards, and then licked his lips, looking stunned.

"You were upset," he said, like that explained everything.

"Since when do you kiss me when I'm upset?"

"I don't..." he shook his head slowly, looking just as confused as you felt, "I don't know. I-I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

You let that sink in for a moment, and then made a movement to push past him, "I've got to go."

"Don't," he said firmly, gripping your arm hard and then he seemed to look down and realize what he was doing, releasing it back at your side, "don't go. You can stay in my room, or the guest room, or we can sleep on the couch, I don't care. Just...stay. Please."


	10. Chapter 10

You stayed.

Even though you'd been so determined to go home, when you'd seen how despondent he'd looked at the thought of you going home alone and you'd realized that even the 5-minute drive home suddenly seemed overwhelming, staying just seemed comfortable. The anger that you'd felt so strongly seemed to have burned off, being replaced by a quiet, drowsy sadness.

Gerry had followed you into the guest room bathroom, so you let him stay, shutting the door behind you as you faced yourself in the mirror. Your eyes looked horribly red and puffy, but the rest of your face looked shockingly pale in contrast, except for the stains left by your tears on your cheeks. You were taken aback at just how awful you looked, because you hadn't realized you'd broken down that much, and your heart physically ached knowing that Tyler had had to see you feeling just so much agony. You splashed cold water on your face continuously, all the while knowing that it would be hopeless in tricking anyone into thinking that you hadn't just been crying your eyes out.

You even wet a washcloth, pressing it to your eyes as you peed, hopeful that it would calm your eyes just a little bit. After you'd washed your hands, you went to dry them, but Gerry was looking up at you, so you crouched down, pressing your cheek against the side of his body, breathing in his scent, fresh tears being absorbed into his fur as you sobbed gently. Your hands were still wet and you knew your cheeks were too, but he stood steady until you stood up, rubbing him behind the ear and bending down to press a kiss to his head. He'd tried to lick your salty tears when you' been right there but, instead, you'd stood up, splashing your face with water, knowing that if you let him, you'd probably only just continue to cry.

You opened the bathroom door, and Tyler was just sitting on the side of the bed. He stood up, handing you a glass of water and watching you take a few tentative sips, and then he extended his hand with a Tylenol in it, and you realized that your temples were throbbing, a dull ache covering your skull.

"Thank you," you said simply, knowing that you wanted to say more, to apologize or explain your behaviour; but you knew if you did that you'd break down again.

"Yeah," he replied, like it was no big deal at all, and you were thankful he didn't say something like 'You don't have to thank me' or 'of course', implying that he'd do anything for you, because that'd make you cry, too.   
Once you were done, he took the glass from you, pressing clothes you hadn't seen folded at the foot of bed into your hands, and you accepted them gratefully. "I'm just going to get changed," you said, hoping that your voice showed your appreciation.

This time when you went into the bathroom, you just focused on the task at hand, avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror. When you came back out, Tyler was sitting in the edge if the bed again, but the covers had been pulled back, the bed ready for you to just crawl into and he stood up, indicating as such.

" Tyler," you said weakly, fresh tears sliding down your face, even though you'd really thought you were done. Calmly, he just hooked his arm around your shoulder, sitting you both down on the side of the bed. He kept his arm there as you cried, silently and softly. He didn't say anything, didn't tell you to stop crying or say it was going to be okay or attempt to reason with you. He didn't rub your back or make noises of sympathy or understanding. He just sat there, with you, and let you cry, you bodies only touching at your hips and where his arm was still held around your shoulder. And he didn't move, not even when Gerry jumped onto the bed, the whole mattress shaking, or every time you shifted to wipe at your nose.

Eventually, the tears slowed to a stop, and your head started to feel light and airy, so you rested it on his shoulder. Tyler's arm came up, wrapping it around your head, holding you steady. After what seemed like it could gave been both 5 minutes or two hours, your eyelids started to feel heavy. At first you just shut them, but then your body felt too tired to hold up anymore, so you gently pulled away from him, turning your feet to slip them under the pulled back covers, your eyes still shut as you reached to pull the rest of the blankets up over you, and then you could feel Tyler's hand next to yours, adjusting the covers over you, so you dropped your hand to your side, letting him. You could sense him there, watching you for a moment, your breathing deep and your eyes rested shut, but you couldn't say anything, steady in that place between sleep and wake, and you heard him leave, probably thinking you'd fallen asleep.

You had been feeling so downright exhausted that you were certain you'd sleep completely soundly but, instead, you were restless, waking up for seemingly no reason, only to fall back asleep just minutes later. What didn't help either, was that Tyler had left the door open when you left, so you had dogs climbing in and out of the bed all night. You knew they were going in and between your and Tyler's bed, because you could hear them on the stairs, and sometimes hear Tyler talking to them into a low voice. But, for some reason, you didn't get up to close the door and you suppose Tyler didn't close his door either, so you just kept snuggling up with whatever dog or dogs were in bed with you, falling back to sleep each time.

Around 9:30 though, you woke up in an otherwise empty bed, and figured you might as well get up. When you walked into the kitchen, Tyler was standing there, handing you a cup of coffee, and you supposed that he must have heard you get up. "Thanks," you said, going to sit down at the kitchen table, taking a sip and enjoying the burn on your throat.

"How did you sleep?" Tyler asked.  
"Terrible," you admitted, both of your hands circling the warm mug. You looked up at him, just wanting to be honest with him, to not have everything figured out right now, and to be okay with that.

"Yeah, me neither," he said softly, coming over to sit across from you, with his own mug of coffee. He took a sip, and then set it down, looking at you seriously. "So...I don't think I'm going to go."

"Tyler...."  
"It's not big deal. Really," he said.  
"No, Tyler, you should go," you said firmly.

His bottom lip quivered once and then twice, "But you shouldn't be alone."  
"I think I need to be alone."  
"Y/N, you don't have to..."

"I know," you said, sincerely "but I think I need to. I need to think and figure out what I want. Without anyone. I need to make some kind of decision for me before I can talk to you."

He was silent for a moment, seeming to consider your words, nodding like it made sense. "You're sure?"  
"I'm positive."

He exhaled, leaning forward over the table, placing his hands over yours. "You know this is totally your choice, right? Like, I'm not going to upset no matter what you choose."

"I know," you said because you did know, logically of course, that it had to be your decision. But it still felt reassuring to know that he recognized that.  
"And you know, no matter what," he said, his callused thumb sweeping across your knuckles, "I'm going to be here for you and your kid as much as I can be, right?"

You smiled softly, "I know."  
"And you know I love you, right?" he asked, ducking his head.  
"I know."

He broke the seriousness there, laughing as he pulled his hands back, "No, wrong answer, you're supposed to say it back."

He stood up then, coming over and poking you in the side, "Say it back."  
"Okay, okay," you laughed, "I love you, too."

**  
You did just as you said you would, not talking to anyone except for just quick texts to let people know that you were alive. You texted Tyler too, because you knew he would be worried about you, just simple pictures of the dogs on a walk or cuddled up on the couch, and he'd usually just apply with an emoji or a quick little 'cute', letting you know he appreciated it, but that he was also respecting the space you needed.

You ran a lot, probably more than you should have, more than you typically ran in a month all crammed into four days, but you felt like it was one of the best ways for you to think, imaging all the scenarios. Sometimes you'd bring the dogs with you, and sometimes you'd walk them later. Your calves were sore, but somehow it didn't really seem to bother you, because your head felt clear.  
You listened to a lot of music, and you cried sometimes, not from sadness or happiness, really, just because there was so much raw emotion in your body, and so many different ways that this could play out.

The thing was, the whole sperm donor registry felt so strange and inorganic to you, and you couldn't understand how you were expected to pick someone based on a few pieces of information you were given on paper, without really knowing them. You didn't know how you were supposed to choose your child's heritage, or try and weigh whether you wanted your child's genes to be from someone who had a Master's in Engineering or a B.A. in Arts.

You wouldn't even dream of asking anyone, and it never would have occurred to you to put Tyler in that position, yet, somehow, when you realized he was truly offering, the idea somehow seemed more natural, comfortable almost. And you hated to think of this, you really did, but there was a worry that crept into your mind about something going wrong, somewhere down the line, and your child needing blood or organs or something, and you not being a match, for whatever reason. And it reassured you, because you knew that Tyler would step in in a heartbeat if it was necessary, you knew he would.

And maybe, maybe something really beautiful could come out of this whole situation that you'd been put in.

You just had to talk to him about a few things first.

He'd texted you the night earlier in the afternoon the night he was supposed to be back to let you know he'd be home late. You'd decided to stay over, knowing that you'd be having a serious conversation the next morning, and also because you didn't want to leave the dogs. When you felt yourself getting tired, you headed into the guest room with the pups, leaving the door open a bit, because you knew Tyler would want to see them when he got home, but you also knew they wouldn't go sleep in his room when whe wasn't there. You thought you'd be able to sleep but you couldn't, restless with the thoughts in your mind and also the knowledge that you'd probably wake up and hear him when he got home anyways, so you just read a book on your Kindle, until you heard the key in the lock, the front door opening. It was a few minutes later when he poked his head in through the open door quietly, until he saw the light from your Kindle and walked in.

"Move," he whined, drawing out the word. You started to scoot over and he laughed, "Not you, them."

He nudged at the dogs until the all moved to the foot of the bed, and then he climbed in, laying on his side facing you, head held up in his hand. "You know, I could never figure out why you would choose to sleep in the guest room bed rather than in my room with the dogs, but they're not even in there."

You laughed, "You seriously thought they slept in there without you?"  
He looked offended at the thought that they didn't. "I mean, sometimes they go in there during the day," you said, trying to make him feel better.

"Are you lying?"  
"Nope," you said, "I mean, if I'm at work or not here then they'll go in there. Otherwise they're with me."

He laughed, and you looked at his eyes, trying to evaluate just how awake he was. But he really didn't look tired at all.

"I want to talk to you about something," you said, "Seriously."  
"I'm listening," he said, "Seriously."

You rubbed the blanket in between your fingers nervously, thankful that you didn't have to explain what you wanted to talk about, because you could tell that he already knew, and that he had been waiting for this conversation to take place. "What about when you find someone you want to have your own kids with?" you asked, "What about when you get married?"

"What about it?" he asked, and you sighed.

"How do you think she's going to feel, knowing you'd..." you stopped, trying to think of the words to say. Because it wouldn't be like he already had a kid, just that biologically, he would.

"Honestly," Tyler said, in a tone that let you know that he'd already thought about this, "honestly, if there's someone who thinks that there's something wrong with me helpful my friend - my best friend - have a baby, then you shouldn't let me marry her."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"I'm serious," he said, his voice steady, "I don't want to marry someone who wouldn't be on board with this. Because I'm on board with this."  
You swallowed. "Okay, and you know this isn't simple, right? The whole process, it's going to be a lot."

"Mhmm.." he agreed, but you weren't still sure that he actually knew what was involved.

"It's not just...you don't just...well.." you ran your hand through your hair, but there really was no other way else to put it. "You don't just jizz in a cup."

He immediately started giggling, his entire face scrunched up with laughter.  
"Tyler," you said seriously, "Tyler! Be serious."

"Sorry," he said, trying to regain control of himself, but still giggling occasionally "You're the one who said 'jizz in a cup'"

You glared at him, and he pulled himself together. "Sorry, I'm being serious."  
"You have to have genetic testing done," you continued, "that's a blood test."  
"Okay."

"A blood test with needles," you clarified.

He laughed under his breath, "I can handle needles if it's for a good reason," he said, "I think I demonstrated that."

He did, actually, because you knew how much it much have sucked to actually give you shots, especially when he didn't like needles, but he never complained.  
"And there's legal stuff," you said, "you'll have to sign something to give up your parental rights."

"Yeah, that makes sense," he nodded.  
"Okay," you smiled, just a little, "So, you're still sure? Because if you're not, I'm...."

"100 percent," he interrupted you.

That smile that was sneaking across your cheeks was slowly getting bigger, "I still think we should check in, after you get tested though, and make sure we're both still 100% in, though."

"Okay," he agreed, making it sound like he didn't believe anything would make him change his mind.

"Okay."

You were both smiling, just looking at each other, Tyler's eyebrows raised just slightly, "So, we're doing this then?"

"Yeah," you said softly, really enunciating the word, because you were having trouble talking with how wide you were smiling, a feeling of contentment filling your entire body, a level to which you'd never felt before.

Tyler's smile turned into a wide grin, his hand going to your shoulder, rocking you back and forth in excitement, "You're going to have a baby."


	11. Chapter 11

You just couldn't help it. Every single time you stood in front of a mirror, you found yourself turning to the side, smoothing your t-shirt or dress over you belly, imaging what you'd look like pregnant.

You'd also be lying if you said you'd hadn't found yourself scrolling through pages of nursery furniture on your phone, when you were trying to watch T.V. or after you crawled into bed at night. You knew, logically, that you weren't at that point yet, but you couldn't stop yourself from imagining.

"This is crazy," Danielle said, looking over your shoulder where you were signing and initialing the contract that was laid across your kitchen table. For some reason, you'd expected it to be a simple page but, no, it was a whole freaking booklet, pages and pages of legalese that basically said just the same thing over and over. You looked up at her, and she was smiling, and you knew instantly that she wasn't talking about just the paperwork.

"I know," you said, finally completely the last page and then stacking all of the papers on top of each other, and then going to look through your purse for a paper clip before you put it back in the envelope because you had a vision of Tyler opening it only to send the papers scattering all over the place, and then having to try and put them back in order.

"I totally knew he was serious," she said.

"What?" you flipped your head back around, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because," she laughed, "I didn't know how you felt about it. And it wasn't my place to say how I felt."

You sighed just out of instinct now. It wasn't that your Mom and sister weren't being supportive, but you knew they were hesitant. You knew they were holding back, that this was what you wanted, but that this wasn't how they expected it to go for you, and the thought of you doing it alone seemed overwhelming. They weren't downright telling you not to do it, but they weren't as excited as you wanted them to be. What's worse was that your sister had accidentally let it slip to your Dad, and he didn't even bother trying to hide how he felt.

"Hey," Danielle said, putting her arm around your shoulder, "don't worry about that. We've got you."

You didn't even have to ask who 'we' was.

"Seriously," she continued, "This kid is going to be so loved, it isn't even funny."

And you knew that was true. And you knew that you Mom and sister would get excited eventually, but you kind of felt like you just needed a bit of distance for now, to surround yourself with positivity.

So, after Danielle left, you scrolled through 'Babies R Us' on your phone for a few minutes, and then headed over to Tyler's house, that envelope securely on the passenger seat. Once you got there, you opened the door, immediately to be swarmed with dogs, tails wagging and tongues panting excitedly and you crouched down saying your hellos. Yeah, you definately had no shortage of love.

"At least let her get in the door, guys," Tyler laughed, rounding the corner.

You laughed, standing up, aware of the legal documents in your hand, which should probably not be crushed by paw prints.

"Is that the thing?" Tyler said, gesturing towards the envelope, his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," you said, handing it over to him, "So, if you want to look it over with your lawyer and then just get it back to me when you're done."

"Mmmk," he said easily, taking it from you. You bent over again and thoroughly petted the dogs this time, who were still trailing around your feet. Once they seemed to calm down a little bit, you went where Tyler had gone, discovering him leaning over the kitchen counter, his tongue pulled between his lips as he flipped through the papers.

"What's this about gifts?" he asked, reading something and then looking over at you, "Because, I swear to god, I am buying your kid gifts, I really don't give a fuck what you say."

You laughed, and then frowned because that didn't make any sense at all, taking a look at the portion he was pointing to. "No, that says I'm not supposed to compensate you with gifts."

"Wait," he pouted at you, "Does that mean you're not going to buy me a birthday gift?"

"No," you laughed again, "just, like, you're agreeing that you understand that you're not going to be compensated in any way."

"Mmmk," he said easily, and then he picked up the pen that you didn't see on the counter and scrawled his name quickly across the bottom of the page.

"What are you doing?" you cried, because you couldn't even move fast enough to stop him.

He blinked, looking at you in confusion, "I thought you wanted me to sign it."

"After you got your lawyer to look at it," you said, running your hand through your hair, trying to troubleshoot, "Do you think we can just, like, rip it up?"

"What is the big deal?" he asked, "I thought you said this was, like, standard. You didn't get a lawyer."

Yeah, but he had money. And you assumed that there might be, like, some PR stuff that you'd need to be held to or something. "You should make sure that I, like, can't sue you or something."

He laughed like he couldn't even believe you were saying that, "You're not going to sue me."

You weren't, of course, but these papers were supposed to protect him just as much as it was supposed to protect you.

"It's not that complicated," he said, "I'm just giving up my parental - parental, is that a word?"

"Yes," you said.

"I'm giving up my parental rights, and you're not compensating me for anything."

"And you're not required to pay me child support," you added.

"See? It's all in there, you don't need to worry so much," he said, putting his arm around you, "By the way, Danielle said I need to tell you that you've, and I quote, 'got your shit together'."

You laughed, burying your head in his shoulder.

"She's totally right though," he said, and you could feel him looking down at you, just waiting for you to explain.

"My sister accidentally told my Dad I'm going to try and have a baby. On my own," you said, "And he didn't, I don't know, didn't get why I would want to do that."

"Fuck your dad," Tyler said suddenly, and then seemed to regain himself, "Sorry, but fuck your dad."

You laughed, because it was no secret that you didn't have the closest relationship with your dad, especially since your parents had split when you were young, so you'd been raised pretty much just by your mom. Now that you thought about it, you supposed that was why your mom was likely hesitant about this whole thing, because she had been a single mother. But you were also going into this with the knowledge that you would be, and you were prepared for it. And you also had a great job, with benefits and a childcare centre, so you wouldn't need to try and work multiple jobs like your mom had to try and make ends meet.

"He's probably just jealous," Tyler added, "I'm sure he knows for sure that you're going to be a better Dad AND Mom that he ever was."

"Tyler..."

"I'm serious," he said firmly, "And you know that if you need an actual man to help teach your kid....man stuff, I'm here."

"Man stuff?" you laughed, "what man stuff?"

"Like, fishing and...." he said, "well, that's not really a man thing, really. I don't know actually. But I'll buy a book or something."

You laughed again, because you were pretty sure no such book existed, but it really was the thought that counted. "I just wanted to wait to tell him until after I got pregnant, though," you told him.

"Yeah, don't worry babe, you're going to be pregnant super quick," he said, wiggling his eyebrows, "I have really excellent sperm."

"No, you don't," you laughed, pushing him away and you could see him frowning, "I've seen your test results."

"They said it was good," he said, his arm crossed over his chest, and you suspected that this was something that he wanted to brag about to probably everyone, only then he'd have to explain why he actually knew about that, and you knew he wouldn't do that to you.

"Yeah, it's great," you agreed, "just not off-the-charts spectacular like you seem to think."

"Whatever," he complained, even though he was laughing so you knew he wasn't actually offended, "I'm still going to get you pregnant. It's my new summer project."

So, at first his summer project was to find you a boyfriend and now it was to get you pregnant? "Why do your summer projects always have to include me?" you asked, wondering why he couldn't do something normal for a summer project like build a shed or something. It wasn't that you were complaining, of course, but calling it a summer project was just a little too much.

"Because, I don't get to see you much during the season," he said, placing a kiss on the top of your head, "Duh."

**

48 hours.

As you got in your car, ready to drive to work, you couldn't help noticing that in 48 hours time, you'd be at your appointment.

As you pulled out of the driveway, you used your voice to command your bluetooth to call Tyler.

"Hey," he answered, "what's up?"

"So, you know you can't masturbate or have sex for the next two days, right?" you asked.

He laughed, "Well, you could have at least says 'hi' back to me first."

"Sorry, hi," you said sincerely, "but you know, right?"

"Yes, I'm aware."

"Well, make sure you don't forget," you said, "Maybe you should...." you trailed off, looking over your shoulder as you changed lanes, trying to think what he could do. Maybe put a post-it note on his pillow or something?

"You want to come supervise me?" he asked gruffly.

"Sorry," you cringed, "I just want to make sure everything goes right."

"It will," he reassured you, "But I got my part covered, okay? Trust me. You just have to worry about your part."

You took a deep inhale and exhale, knowing that he was right. "Okay."

"Good," he said decidedly, and then added in a softer voice, "You alright?"

And you told him that you were because you were, for the most part, going about your next two days focused on your work, and being secure in knowing that everything that needed to be done was going to be done. The night before though, you were restless, and you didn't think you'd ever be able to sleep.

You picked up your phone, and then set it down, remembering that Tyler had to be at the clinic two hours before you did. But then you picked it up again, texting him 'Are you still awake?"

Tyler: Yeah

Tyler: Can't sleep?

You: No :(

Tyler: Come over

Tyler: Bring your PJ's

You smiled, gathering up your pyjamas, a toiletry bag, as well as what you'd need for tomorrow, driving over to his place, you body pumping with adrenaline. It wasn't really nerves, though, not really, more just really a state of anxiousness, of just wanting it to be tomorrow already so you could just do it.

Tyler suggested you take the dogs for a walk, and you assumed this suggestion was due to the fact that you were pretty much pacing in his kitchen or raising yourself up on your heels, pretty much unable to stand still.

So you did, enjoying the cool, night air, the quiet sidewalk illuminated by streetlights, so it felt like you were pretty much the only ones who existed.

"At least give me one," you sighed, Tyler slowed down to untangle the leashes yet again. This time you stopped, extending your hand.

"I got it," he protested, and then you followed the line of his eyesight to a quick glance at your belly and....oh.

" Tyler, I'm not pregnant yet," you laughed, " And even if I was, I can still walk a dog."

He gave you a sheepish look, handing over one of the leashes. You walked in silence for a moment, your mind wandering. "Tyler?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think it's weird we're still friends?"

"Weird? No, why would it be weird?"

You stopped, because apparently there was an extremely interesting tree. "I just mean, do you even still talk to anyone we went to high school with?"

"Other than you, no."

"Exactly," you said, " and, like, did you even think that we would be the ones who would still be friends? We didn't even really like each other when we first met, like, if it wasn't for Kirsten–"

"Why are you getting all philosophical and shit?" Tyler interrupted. "Obviously we were meant to be friends, it doesnt really matter why, does it? Seriously, youre so weird sometimes."

"No," you reasoned, "I was just thinking about it though."

"Sometimes life works in weird ways," he said. He was quiet for a moment, and all you could hear was the sound of your shoes on the pavement. "Y'know, you've actually been my friend longer than anyone. Which means that you've got a headstart on being my best friend of all time."

"And do I get a prize if I stick around?"

"The prize is getting to be my friend," he scoffed, "Obviously."

When you got back to Tyler's place, you both got ready for bed, and he insisted that you watch a movie, despite the fact that you thought he looked rather tired.

"I feel like it's a good idea for you to stay here tonight," Tyler said, as you climbed into his bed, a wall of dogs practically separating the two of you, "it'll align our chakras."

"Align our chakras?" You laughed, "you're so weird."

He stuck his tongue out at you, and you adjusted the pillows behind your back, so you were sitting up. Although, with the way the dogs moved into the now vacated space, you weren't sure you'd be able to lay down again. He really needed a bigger bed, honestly. "Moana?" You questioned, taking a look at the television screen.

" Yeah, it's a happy movie," he said, "plus, I also wanted to see what all the hype was about."

You laughed softly, but settled in. However, as you suspected, he didn't even make it 15 minutes in. You still weren't ready to fall asleep, but you really did feel a sense of heaviness and calm take over your body, cuddling up and watching the movie in its entirety.

You heard Tyler get up in the morning, but he took care to keep quiet, so you were able to squeeze in a little extra rest. Once you got up and got ready though, he still hadn't come back home, like you'd thought he would. A small part of you worried that something hadn't gone quite right, but there were no calls on your phone, so you assumed he must have gone to work out or something, even though you also thought he would have told you.

As you drove, you focused on keeping your breathing steady and deep, stretching your neck out when you were stopped at an intersection, trying to keep your grip relaxed on the steering wheel.

Once you got there, though, you were on a mission. So much so, that you barely noticed the familiar figure sitting in a chair along the wall, legs extended and ankles crossed. He looked over the magazine and gave you a small smile.

" What are you doing here?" You asked quietly, keeping your voice low like you were in a library because it somehow seemed appropriate for the situation.

"Waiting for you," he said simply. But, even though you were here now, he made no effort to move, looking like he was comfortable for the long haul.

You looked over at the receptionist and then back at him, "It's going to be awhile."

"I know, I'll wait."

Sure enough, when you came out, he was still there, setting down the magazine and standing up, slowly loitering off in the back of the waiting room as you made an appointment with the receptionist to have your blood taken in two weeks, meeting you at the door when you were done, holding it open so you could pass under his arm. "Thank you."

"Mhmm," he responded, as you stepped into the quiet holiday. "how was your thing?"

"It was..." you paused, not knowing how to quite explain it, "fine. Kind of weird, but fine."

He reacted lightly, with a quick glance to make sure you really were okay. "Mine was great, thanks for asking," he said, "they gave me lube AND porn."

"Oh my god, Tyler...shhh..." you said, your face flaming red even though he was the one who was speaking incredibly loud in the otherwise pretty quiet medical building, and you could only assume everyone in the waiting room of the podiatrist's office you just past by had heard him.

Instinctively, you started walking faster, but he caught up to you, "I mean, the porn kind of sucked, but it was still porn," he said, just as an older lady stepped out of the optometrist's office looking at the two of your sternly, your eyes widening, and your gaze shooting nervously towards her, but Tyler just made a snorting noise as he tried not to laugh, finally bursting out laughing once she disappeared around the corner.

"You're going to get us kicked out of here," you said in a harsh whisper, grabbing his wrist and tugging it once to get him to move.

"Sorry, sorry," he said quickly, neither of you talking until you reached the bottom of the stairs, heading towards the doors, "So can I take you out for lunch? Or do you have to, like, lay down or something?"

"I already did," you said, "that's what took so long."

"Oh," he said, his hand going up to scratch the back of his neck, "you don't have to, like, lay down with your legs up in the air now or something?"

"No, that's not how it works," you said, an amused tone to your voice, "we can get lunch."

"'K," he replied lightly. He offered to take his car and then come back later to grab your car so you agreed, although you noticed once he pulled out of the parking lot he looked at you just once with a sly grin on his face and then pushed a button on the console, directing his attention back to the road.

Music filled the car and you were trying to identify the song, until you heard the opening "Baby, ohhh..." from the Backstreet Boy's "Quit Playing Games with My Heart" and could see Tyler grinning widely at you and you started laughing, "Oh my god, seriously?"

"It made you laugh," he said, "I feel like that's a good thing."

He turned it up louder and, while you knew the lyrics off by heart, you couldn't help but laugh, thinking that this song was so inappropriate in that it had nothing to do with babies at all, and wasn't even a happy song, for god's sake, but Tyler kept doing some weird car dancing thing move, except for when he had to stop to sing all the "Oh Baby Baby"'s very loudly and very poorly, but also very enthusiastically, looking at you each time the word 'baby' was mentioned.

You couldn't help but dissolve into giggles in the passenger seat, partially concerned someone was going to drive by and recognize him. "You are such a dork."


	12. Chapter 12

A part of you wondered if you'd somehow be able to sense if you were pregnant. You wondered if you'd feel different in some way, or if you'd just somehow now 

Moreso, though you were expecting yourself to completely second-guess yourself the whole time, whether you were really more tired than usual, or were your boobs really tender? You really didn't think you would get pregnant on the first try, so you tried to mentally prepare yourself to try not read into every little thing your body may or may not have been doing.

It had only been three days, but so far it seemed to be working.

You had also wondered if you should have maybe told Tyler ahead of time to not ask you if you felt pregnant or anything, but he seemed to key into it himself. The only difference was that he seemed to ask you 'how are you?' or 'how's it going?' rather than 'what's up?', although the question seemed to be all-encompassing rather that prodding, like he only wanted to check in with you.

You were sitting on your couch, folding some laundry, when you heard a quick knock at your door, followed by a key in the lock. "Tyler?" you asked, even though the knock didn't really sound like his, and he seemed to apparently not even bother to knock, just letting himself in.

However, it was your sister who appeared, coming around the corner. "Hey."

"Hi," you smiled, standing up to give her a hug, "I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah," she said, walking over to sit on your couch after she'd hugged you hello, picking up a towel from the laundry basket, and starting to fold it. "Hey, I'm really sorry I told Dad."

"That's okay," you said, automatically, and Nicole frowned.

"No, it's not," she said, "I mean, I didn't do it on purpose. But still, that's not fair. It was your news to share."

"Yeah," you said hesitantly, grounding out the word. Because it was true, of course, but it wasn't like you actually had any news to share just yet.

"He...he'll..." Nicole started, finally finishing folding that towel and adding it to the stack you had at the end of your couch, trying to gather her words. "He's just old-fashioned."

You scoffed, because there was absolutely nothing 'old-fashioned' in your mind about getting divorced. And maybe there was something 'old-fashioned' about letting your childrens' mother raise them on your own, only showing up for special events like birthdays and Christmas, trying to win you back with the extravagant gifts, whatever happened to be the "hot" thing that year, advertised on the Nickelodeon channel. When, really, you didn't want those Super Soakers or that 'Don't Wake Daddy' game unless he was going to play along with you, just like the kids in the commercials.

"Well, he needs to grow up," you said harshly, because you were just done with the excuses. And Nicole gave you a look like she wanted to tell you he would, but you both knew that he hadn't changed, and he wasn't about to start now.

You were both quiet for a moment, living in that unspoken communication that sisters sometimes had, until she smiled at you. "Well, I think 'Auntie Nicole' sounds pretty good, just saying."

And you smiled, because your younger sister wasn't the best at heart-to-hearts, but you knew this was her way of letting you know she'd be there. While she was so much more free-spirited that you were, the opposite of the way that you'd naturally had always felt tied down to responsibilities, whether it was studying for a test or getting your chores done on time, you'd knew she'd be a pretty fun aunt.

"Did you...start?" she asked, and you could see the quick glance at your belly.

"Yeah," you answered, "A few days ago. It's too soon to tell anything."

"And Tyler...?"

"Yeah," you answered. And the thing about your sister, you see, was that she could not hide her emotions. You could see just how she felt, written all over her face, before she tried to hide it, and you laughed. "He's a great guy, I promise."

She nodded, but she still looked hesitant, and you laughed again.

"You just don't know him," you continued, "I was going to go over to his place in a bit, you can come."

She made a face like she wasn't entirely sure about this idea.

"Just give him a chance," you said lightly but firmly, because it was becoming more and more important to you that all the important people in your life embraced each other, that you had a safety net of friends and family you could depend on.

Once you got there, though, Tyler tried to give your sister a hug hello, and you couldn't help but giggle under your breath at just how stiff she was, even though you had to give it to her for trying. Tyler raised an eyebrow at you even as he hugged her, and you knew that he noticed, but you just shrugged. Once they parted, he hooked his hand around your shoulder, pulling you away from everyone else.

"I got you something," he said quietly, and you a curious frown took over your face, especially as he led you over to the fridge, releasing his hand from your shoulder to open the fridge door, pulling out what looked like a bottle of wine. Which, didn't make any sense to you until his finger ran under the part that clearly said "non-alcoholic".

"This way people won't ask why you're not drinking," he said, grabbing a wine glass from the cabinet and pouring you some, which you accepted with a smile, because it wasn't even a problem you'd thought about.

You'd thought everything was going great. Unbeknown to you, though, when you went inside to use the bathroom and refill your glass, Nicole had essentially cornered Tyler when he'd followed one of the dogs around to the side of the house. At first, when you heard the yelling, you'd thought that it was it jest, but it didn't seem to stop, and you recognized your sister's angry voice.

You had abandoned your drink on the kitchen counter and were rushing to the side door when Danielle came storming in from the back door, her eyes looking for you, gripping you by the wrist and pulling you back into the house. "What's going on?"

She didn't respond, trying to move you away from the door, but you could clearly hear what was being said now.

"Seriously?" Nicole was yelling, "You've just got to spread your seed everywhere, don't you?"

"That's not why I'm doing this," Tyler responded in a much calmer, controlled tone, and he tried to reach for her arm, as if to calm her or something, but you cringed, because he didn't know your sister well enough to know that was a bad move. Sure enough, she jerked away, taking a step back.

"How did you even convince her?"

"Convince her?" Tyler balked, and you could see that he was trying to remain calm, but he was fighting a losing battle. "I didn't fucking convince her to do anything. It was her decision."

"Did she ask you?" Nicole challenged.

You didn't hear any response, and your heart clenched a little bit, hoping that Tyler didn't think that he'd somehow tried to waver your decision in one way or another, because he really didn't. And you hadn't even thought about asking him, only because you couldn't imagine asking anyone for a favour as big as that. But you were so comfortable in this decision.

"How do you even know this is what she wants?" Nicole yelled again.

"Because this is what she decided, Nicole," Tyler said firmly. "You know how upset she was thinking she wasn't going to be able to have a baby. This is what she wants. I only want to help her get what she wants."

"But you don't have to be involved!" Nicole yelled, "What, you want a kid, but you just don't want to take on the responsibility so you're just going to give your friend your sperm?"

"I don't care whether she uses my sperm or not!" Tyler yelled right back, and then he seemed to realize what he said and you could see him frown, even through the window. But he didn't notice you, his attention solely focused on your sister, "I mean, I care, and I'm happy that I get to be a part of this. But I'd be a part of it regardless. Look, this is what she wants, and it's not our place to decide that. We've just got to support her as the people who love her."

"But you're not even going to be here!" Nicole screamed, and it was deafening, the kind of high-pitched squeak she used to do when you were kids and you were fighting, when she was trying to get your mom onto her side.

"That doesn't mean I still can't support her," Tyler said steadily, "You don't have to physically be there to support someone or help."

"Of course you do!" Nicole yelled back, "You're only thinking about yourself."

"Actually, all I've done this whole time is think about your sister, Nicole," Tyler said, harshly, and you could hear the harsh tension in his voice, "When she's been crying because she's so fucking heartbroken that her body isn't working the way it's supposed to, I've been there. When your fucking family hasn't been fucking psyched about the fact that she just wants to be a mother, I've been there. I've been there the whole goddamned time, and I'm not going anywhere."

"Of course you fucking are!"

You could physically see Tyler inhale and exhale with a sigh, and Danielle was pulling on your wrist like she didn't want you listening or watching the interaction, but your feet were firmly planted to the floor.

"It doesn't fucking matter, Nicole, I'm still always going to be a phone call away, okay?" He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, "She's not going to be alone...or not taken care of. I'm not going to let that happen. And if you have a problem with what I'm doing, then fucking be an adult and talk to me about it. Because your sister is trying to do something seriously fucking amazing and brave right now, and she doesn't need your negativity."

"Well, I don't need you to fucking tell me what to do."

"Maybe you do, because you're being really fucking immature about the whole thing," Tyler spat back. "You need to grow up."

Nicole let out a sound of annoyance, turning on her heel and marching straight back into through the house, stalking straight past you and not even looking at you or Danielle.

"Shit, Nicole, I'm so—" Tyler was striding after her, but he came to a complete stop once he came back in the house and saw you standing there, and his expression dropping when he realized that you'd likely been standing there the whole time, witnessing the argument. He turned his head to the direction Nicole went off and then back to you and then back again, finally giving you an apologetic look, shifting his weight like he had to step away.

"I'll go," Danielle spoke up, settling her hand on Tyler's arm, brushing past him, "she's not going to want to talk to you right now, anyways, she's just going to want to bitch about you."

Tyler gave a slight smile, like he kind of expected that, mouthing a 'thank you' to her, even as his forearms wrapped around the back your head, cradling it, and pulling you to him, resting his chin on your head. "What she said, it's not about you, you know?" he spoke, his voice reverberating through your body, "that's her own shit."

"I know," you said, pulling away from him so you could look up at him, "it's not about you either though."

"I know," he agreed, "But I shouldn't have said that to her. She's just...so damn fiery."

You laughed, because she'd always been like that, and you kind of didn't expect her to change anytime soon. But, the thing was, you'd set boundaries with your father early on, keeping him at a distance once you'd figured him out, but she'd never been able to, and she kept just... letting herself get hurt by him over and over again.

And, somehow, in her mind, this whole situation was somehow related, even though it was completely, and utterly different. "She's just trying to protect me, Tyler," you explained, "even though there's nothing to protect me from. Just....give her space. She'll realize it's different."

"Yeah, I can do that," he said, pulling you into a hug once more, "you're so emotionally mature, you know that?"

You laughed, because you'd never heard him use the term 'emotional maturity' before, even though he'd likely heard you use it dozens of times.

"You know I meant what I said otherwise, though, right?" he continued, "Well, I mean she could stand to grow up a little bit, too...but..."

"I know, Tyler," you said, "I know."

**

"You're sure you don't want me to come with you?" Tyler asked again and you laughed, squeezing the phone in your hand because he didn't seem to be comprehending that you didn't need him to come with you to get your blood drawn.

"I'm sure," you confirmed.

"I can hold your hand," he said, and you laughed again.

"I'm okay as long as I don't look," you promised.

"Okay," he resigned, "just make sure you don't look then, okay?"

"I won't," you confirmed. The thing was, that you'd had your blood taken so many times over the past few months now that you were pretty much a pro at it by now. Just as long as you didn't look. Or think about it too much.

"And when will they call you?" he asked.

"Tonight," you said, and you heard him exhale through the phone, and realized he was waiting for more specifics, "I think they said anytime after 5?"

"Okay," he said, and then, "You want to come over here after you get down at work then? We can get take-out and watch movies?"

You smiled, because it made your heart so warm that he wanted to be there with you when you got the call, or at least make sure you weren't alone. "Yeah, that'd be nice," you agreed.

"Good," he said, reminding you one more time not to look before hanging up the phone. You laughed, setting your phone down on the bathroom counter so you could use both hands to finish putting your hair up. Your phone vibrated and you glanced down, expecting it to be Tyler reminding you not to look again or something, but it was your sister, just a simple 'Good luck' with a heart emoji.

You smiled, texting her back two heart emojis, and she responded with two fingers crossed emojis.

However, by the time you'd gone over to Tyler's eaten dinner, and were halfway through a second movie, you were almost beginning to wonder if they weren't going to call today. In fact, you'd pretty much resigned yourself to that fact, laying on your back on the couch, your ankles crossed and set across a pillow Tyler had leaned up against his knees, the sound of the rain pounding outside almost drowning out the sound of the movie. It was dark outside, so you knew it had to be getting late, but you didn't want to even look at the time.

You jumped when your phone rang from where you'd put it on the side table behind your head, flipping your legs off the couch quickly and grabbing it.

"Hello," you answered, standing up and walking towards the kitchen, and you could see Tyler scrambling among the cushions for the remote, likely to mute the television, which was turned up loud to compensate for the sound of the rain. "Yes, this is she."

The sound of the television disappeared, and you could feel Tyler coming into the kitchen behind you, watching you, your eyes looking up at towards the ceiling as you tried to listen to what the nurse was saying over the sound of the weather and the dogs who were now walking about the kitchen too, likely wanting to see what why'd you both gotten up so quickly. "Yeah, yeah," you said, a little emotion burning your eyes when you felt that little strand of hope you'd held onto burst.

You winced when Gerry stepped on your bare foot, bending down to pet him absentmindedly as you continued to listen. "Okay. Alright. Thank you."

Tyler was circling around to the front of you before you'd even hung up the phone, looking at you with a dim look on his face, and you were pretty sure he already knew, but you just shook your head 'no', letting yourself smile just a little, because it was still going to be okay.

"I'm sorry," he said softly, pulling you in for a quick hug.

"It's okay," you said, meaning it, "I mean, there's less than a 10% chance each time, since I'm not on fertility medication, and I didn't really think I was..."

"Why aren't you taking fertility medication?" he asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.

"Because it increases your chance of multiples, and I'm supposed to be able to get pregnant without it," you said, "we've just...gotta try again."

He nodded against you and you pulled back because you needed to look at him for this. "If you're still...?" you questioned.

"100%," he confirmed, "when do we go again?"

"Uh...in about a month?"

"A month?!" he practically yelled in disbelief.

You laughed, just a little bit under your breath in surprise, because he literally had all the information, and you'd thought he'd knew this. "Yeah, I have to go through another cycle," you said, and then because he was still looking at you added, "They do it when I ovulate."

"But don't they..." he frowned, "isn't it going to work better if they do it more often?"

You shook your head, "I mean, I'm not a doctor, but the way they explained it to me was that doing it twice a month doesn't really up your chances anymore."

"Twice a month?" he guffawed, "can't they do it, like, everyday or something?"

"No," you laughed, shaking your head, surprised at just how outraged he seemed about the whole thing. "It'll happen," you said reassuringly, "they said, for the majority of women, they'll get pregnant within six months."

"Six months?!" he said in disbelief once more, running his hand through his hair, "But that means we can only try, what, like, maybe 3 more times before I have to leave for training camp? And it's supposed to take six months? I thought you'd get pregnant this summer."

"Well, I might still...." you said, but he gave you a skeptical look.

"And what if you don't?" he asked, starting to pace through the kitchen, and you didn't know if it was from frustration or anxiety, or if he was just trying to wrap his head around the whole thing, "I won't even be here."

"I think they can just, like, freeze it or ship it or something," you said, "But we can figure that out later, we don't have to..."

"I can't believe we only try once a month," he continued, seemingly still stuck on that. "That doesn't seem right. I don't know...what if we....what if we just..."

He was looking at you, like he was trying to tell you something with his eyes, but you weren't getting it. "What if we what?"

"Have sex," he said in a whisper, not that there was even anyone around to overhear you.

"What?!" you said in surprise.

"That should work, right?" he asked, "I mean, if you're not needing medication or anything."

You swallowed, because you'd actually had a doctor who was filling in for your regular doctor when she was in surgery at one appointment, who'd somehow misread your chart and told you that you could continue to have sex and try 'without medical intervention' and that it would continue to increase your chances, and then you'd had to explain to him that you were doing this on your own, that you didn't have a partner and, boy, was he ever apologetic.

"But, we're not....we're not together."

"I know," he said, "but you said you wanted to get pregnant, then we gotta get you pregnant."

"But...we're friends," you said.

"You're not just my friend," he frowned, and then broke into a sly smile, "you're my best friend."

"You don't think it'd be weird?" you questioned.

"Honestly," he exhaled, "honestly, no. We've been friends for 13 years. And I really don't think there's anything that could ever happen that would make us...not friends."

You were just standing there, still in complete shock, like your brain couldn't even begin to process all of this.

"You're acting like you've never seen me naked before," he said, rattling you.

"I have never seen you naked before!"

"Uh, yeah you have."

You frowned at him and then you remembered a time, you think we were 15, when a bunch of the boys had decided to go skinny dipping when a group of you were having a bonfire at the beach. "I saw your bare ass, I didn't see....all of you?"

He smirked at you, "You didn't look?"

"No!"

"Well, this makes it really awkward then because I totally thought you did and I definately looked at you when I walked in on you changing later that summer."

"Tyler!" you yelled, reaching out to smack him on the arm, because you remembered that moment well. You'd been at a friend's house, and you were getting changed into your bathing suit in a bedroom because you were all supposed to go in her hot tub, but the door flung open when you'd only had your bikini bottoms on, and your face had immediately flamed red because you only think one other boy had even seen your boobs before that point. And Tyler had definately insisted at that time that he hadn't seen anything.

"What?" he laughed, "I was fifteen and there were boobs, of course I was looking."

You just shook your head slowly.

"There was that time we kissed, too, remember?" he asked. For a moment, you'd thought he was talking about a few weeks ago, when he'd accidentally kissed you when you were upset, but then he just said, "Truth or dare."

"Are you just going to bring up all my embarrassing high school memories?" you said, running your hand over your face.

He chuckled lightly, "No, I'm just saying it doesn't have to be weird. We're still friends, right?"

Well, obviously. You opened your mouth because you felt like you should say something, but you didn't exactly know what, and Tyler laughed at you.

"You can think about it," he said, "but it doesn't have to be weird."


	13. Chapter 13

The thing was you weren't really a casual sex kind of person. And he was.

Which was fine, really, it wasn't that you were morally against hook-ups. It just wasn't your style. You'd done the friends with benefits thing once and it was fine and good, but you'd really moved beyond that.

Which meant, pretty much, that when you weren't in a relationship, you weren't getting laid.

But this was difference. This was sex with a purpose. And it was Tyler, for God's sake. You trusted him, probably more that anyone else. You hadn't really thought that you could grow any closer than you already were, but somehow you had, through this process. He'd already seen you at the most vulnerable you'd ever been and, even then, you didn't feel like you had to hide from him.

Going to the clinic had felt, well, clinical. It felt so long since you'd actually been touched properly, without your legs spread wide, trying to breathe and avoid focus on the gloved hand prodding between your legs, the fluorescent light bright in your eyes.

At this point, you knew you'd do anything in your power to start your family. But you also just wanted to feel like a woman again.

And maybe you could do both.

"Cold?" Tyler asked. It was a few days later and you were sitting in his backyard by the fire. It had rained for practically four days straight, and you'd listened to him bitch and moan about the weather the whole time. So, when there was finally a break in the weather tonight, he'd insisted that you'd go outside. Even though you weren't exactly dressed for it, having come over wearing the maxi skirt and shirt you'd worn to work, because the sun had started to peak out during the day. But now it was getting a little windy, and every time a little bit of wind blew up your skirt, you'd break out it goosebumps.

You shook your head, pulling the blanket you had across your back tighter around your arms, over his hoodie you were wearing. "No, it's just...damp," you said, and you could see him nod out of the corner of your eye, the fire crackling loudly.

"Jesus," you swore under your breath when Gerry suddenly jumped up into your lap, his front paws digging into your skin, but his back legs slipping against your knees, and you reached to pull him the rest of the way up, even though he was really getting too big for this.

Tyler laughed especially as Gerry kept walking around in your lap and you tried to stop him from falling all the while wincing when his nails kept digging into your skin, "Lay down or you have to get off," you said to the dog, which made Tyler laugh harder and you looked at him out of the corner of your eye, "He needs his nails clipped. And you need to tell him he's not a puppy anymore."

Thankfully, Gerry had finally laid down, but he was heavy and you essentially couldn't move, especially as he had decided to rest his head against your arm.

"He's still a puppy," Tyler whined, leaning over to pet Gerry on the head, "He's just trying to keep you warm. Don't be mean to him."

"He's not a puppy," you laughed.

"Yes, he is," Tyler protested, "The older ones have already fallen asleep on the couch because it's past their bedtime, and it's just the baby who still wants to hang out with with us."

You laughed, especially because you were pretty sure that Gerry was already starting to snore from where he was laid across you, but you were pretty sure you were never going to be able to convince Tyler otherwise.

You fell into a comfortable silence, your head tilting back to look up at the sky but you couldn't even see the stars through the thick clouds. "Do you think it's going to rain again?" you asked.

"Nope," Tyler said quite decidedly. He was wearing shorts like it was a warm summer night, but you'd also noticed that he'd put on a hoodie, too.

Eventually, Gerry jumped off your lap, retreating into the house, probably to join his brothers on the couch, your lap getting too uncomfortable.

"And then there were two," Tyler mused.

You swallowed, and you were quiet for a moment, brushing all the dog hair off of you, and then you asked, "Tyler?" like there was someone else around or he wouldn't listen to you unless you said his name first, which was ridiculous, really.

"Hmm?"

"I think we should do it," you said quietly, and his head turned to you, confusion arched on his features.

"Do it?" he repeated under his breath, like he was still trying to figure out what you were talking about. "You mean like 'it-it'?"

"Yeah," you said, but he didn't say anything. And you couldn't really see the expression on his face fully because of the dark, the light from the first just illuminating parts of it, and you were beginning to wonder if he'd changed his mind, and just how the hell you were going to talk yourself out of this one when his face was suddenly in front of yours, his lips pressing solidly against yours.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, jumping back away from him.

He sat back immediately in his own chair, his hand raising to scratch through his hair in what seemed like a combination of confusion and nervousness, "What did you....? Did I...?"

"Nothing," you answered, somehow seeming to understand what he was asking you even though it was incomplete, "You just...startled me."

"I startled you?" he said, quirking his lips like he was amused.

"Yeah," you said, "I wasn't expecting you to....just come at me like that."

"Well, sorry," he said insincerely, like he had nothing to apologize for at all. This time though, he leaned over, his hand going to cup your jaw, and he was looking at you seriously. "I'm going to kiss you now. Just a warning," he said in mock seriousness, but he started laughing under his breath just as you did.

This time, his lips were so much much softer against yours, moving gently against yours, like he was feeling you out, his hand still braced on the side of your face, holding your head twisted towards him. It had been so long that you had been kissed properly, that you felt your toes stretching in your sandals, your chest constricting in a way that was neither pleasurable or painful. It was just...different.

He pulled back to breathe, his hand falling away, his fingers catching on a strand of hair, and you looked past him, towards the lights in the house. "Shouldn't we go inside?"

"You in a rush or something? Got somewhere to be?" he asked, laughing like he was entertained by your question. "You can come closer though."

And you were trying to figure out how that would even be possible, but he was prying your hand off the armrest of the Adirondack chair your were sitting it, tugging at your arm like you should stand up, and then pulling you towards him once you were out of the chair, the blanket that had been draped around your shoulders falling to the ground, and you tried to bend down to pick it up, he stopped you, his other arm coming out.

"It's going to get dirty," you protested, still trying to pick it up, but he really was a lot stronger than you were.

"It's fine," he laughed, his hands sliding to grip your forearms, "just sit down."

You were wondering where he was expecting you to sit, until you realized he was tugging your towards his lap, and you kind of tripped over your shoe, your flip flop sliding off and landing next to the chair, pulling you to straddle his legs. "See, was that so hard?" he mocked, his hands bracing across your back to hold you steady. You didn't have time to contemplate this, because then he was muttering something about 'better', and then he was kissing you again, deeper but unhurried.

His tongue swept into your mouth, softly at first, and then with focus, and this whole time you'd just been expecting to straight-up bang, but here you were just making out in his backyard. Your hands came up of their own accord, knocking his hat of his head it landed on the ground, probably near your shoe, your fingers coming to tangle in his hair. He didn't let up though, instead, just groaning and almost pressing into you deeper, and you suddenly became aware of just how hard his thighs felt between your spread legs.

The wind swirled around you again, but you didn't get goosebumps this time, instead just sort of exhaling into his mouth with a shiver. He breathed back hard against you, his fingers tucking under the hoodie and then the shirt you were wearing, coming around your front and crawling upwards, his other hand braced across your back. You were aware of just how big and warm his hand was as it moved over your belly, pushing under your bra, coming to cup your breast. It was a tight fit, because he had his hand shoved in your bra without even taking it off, and you could feel the fabric pulling everywhere else but you didn't really care, because you were just kissing him and he felt so warm and comfortable, the fire crackling behind you, the cool water droplets falling over you, just a couple at first, and then beginning to pound on the ground behind you and....wait, what?

"Shit," Tyler mumbled, once the downpour had really started. And then you were pushing yourself up off him, raising your hands over your head in a futile attempt to stay dry, feeling around with your foot in what was quickly turning into mud for your other shoe. You gave up pretty fast, though, running towards the house lopsided with your single flip-flop, finally having the mindset to pull the hood over your head once you were already halfway to the house. The door was ajar so you pushed in the rest of the way open, slipping inside, Tyler right on your heels. All three dogs were laid out across the sectional, lifting their heads up as you both stumbled inside, looking at you like you were crazy for disturbing them.

"Guess you were right," he said, and you turned around as he flicked his hood off, his grey hoodie darkened with rain, and you supposed yours look the same. It was different now that you were back inside in the light where you could really see him, his hair sticking up in all different directions from where you'd been running your hands through it, his lips wet and swollen, and he had a dark look in his eyes, one that you'd never seen before.

He pulled his hoodie up and off over his head, tossing it over the back of the chair, and then repeating the same action with his t-shirt. "You're going to get cold," he said, pointing at the bottom of the hoodie you were wearing. When you just stood there, he took two steps towards you, gripping the bottom of it pulling it off, and you raised your arms so he could do so. The fabric came over your face, engulfing you in darkness for a moment but as soon as it was gone, his lips were right against yours again, his hand at the back of your head, and shivered as your damp hair brushed against the back of your neck.

His hands went up under your shirt, feeling surprisingly warm against your skin, running them up and down your sides a couple of times, breaking the kiss to pull your shirt from your body quickly, his hand sneaking around to undo the clasp of your bra before your even realized it, walking you backwards. Your hand instinctively grasped your chest before your bra could start to fall away and he tilted his head off to the side, looking at you curiously, "You planning to have sex with your bra on, or....?" He was laughing, but you were suddenly feeling self-conscious.

"I'm not used to this," you tried to explain, but he gave you a pathetic look.

"I know for a fact you're not a virgin," he said, " and you let me feel you up, so just let me see."

His hand was crawling up your stomach, even as he continued walking you back towards his bedroom. "C'mon, let me see your tits," he said playfully, and you laughed, your arms finally dropping away from your front, and he tentatively pulled your bra away, his eyes immediately dropping downwards. "You're fucking gorgeous," he said in a whisper, his immediately cupping your breasts like he couldn't resist not touching you, but he took one away to turn on the light in the bedroom, and you blinked at the brightness.

"Sorry," he muttered, turning the dimmer down so the light was a more acceptable level, pushing the bedroom door closed with a slight bang, and you jumped. He was back on you again, your chests pressed together. He was kissing you, moving you back so you were sitting on the side of the bed, falling over you, his hand pushing your skirt up, settling on your creamy thigh.

" You can touch me y'know," he said with a chuckle and you realized your arms had been set at your sides the whole time. He pulled back from you slowly but kept his hand on your waist, rolling onto his side and giving you a little smile, "Everything still okay?"

You nodded dutifully, and he just propped his head up onto his hand and grinned, "So are you always this uptight in bed then?"

You laughed, because he was laughing along with you. You didn't think you were typically so tense anyways, but you were used to kissing progressing to touching, progressing to gradually nudity. You weren't used to, well, going straight for the home run all in one night.

He stood up suddenly and then sat back down just as quickly and you let out a crazy giggle, because he looked like a little bunny or something. "What are you doing?"

"I was going to get you a drink to try and help you loosen up but then I remembered you're not drinking right now," he explained. He looked at you kind of weird for a moment, his hand going to your ankles and spinning you so you were the right was on the bed. "So, your tits are already out so I'm just going to get rid of this, mmm?"

He tugged on your skirt, and it came off so fast it was like a magic trick. He tossed it behind him, not even going for your panties, and he leaned over to pull the comforter up, pulling it over you both as he laid over you, dampening all the light in the room. "You just need to relax," he said, his lips wet against you. He kissed you, just once, a quick peck, and then he was sliding down your body, his hand rubbing over your boob, massaging it and circling your nipple, hardening it under his palm. He didn't move down your body like you thought he would, but basically attacked your chest, licking and kissing and nibbling all over your sensitive skin, and you were just starting to feel that ache between your legs again that had started to develop when you were outside, and it was starting to get hot underneath the blanket. When Tyler seemed to be done, he rested his cheek across your chest and said shyly, "I really, really like these."

You laughed hard, and he started moving further down. But you guessed incorrectly that he was going for your panties this time, but he just kissed down your belly and once on your hip and then came back up, throwing the covers off of mouth of your heads.

"Hi;" he said, popping his head up, hovering over you.

"Hi," you responded, grasping the back of his head and pulling him back hard to you, kissing him more enthusiastically.

"There you go," he muttered against the side of your lips, kissing you back just a bit and then moving away, sitting back so most of the blankets fell to the foot of the bed, his hand settling on your hip and looking up at you. "How long has it been?"

You shrugged as much as you could while laying down, "Like, 7 or 8 months?"

"7 or 8 months?!" he repeated in disbelief, his mouth even falling open a bit, and you were just trying to ignore the fact that you were practically naked on the bed in front of him. He kind of frowned a bit, and then his hand began sliding into your underwear.

"Yeah, uh...whenever Daniel was in town last," you said, and then your eyes widened when you realized that you were rambling. Tyler's finger was poking an your entrance, just sliding on finger slowly inside you, but his eyes snapped up to yours.

"But, you broke up with him, like, over a year ago? Did you get back together?"

"No," you said quietly.

Tyler grinned at you then, eyebrows raised, even as his finger was still pumping in and out of you slowly, "Oh really?"

"Yeah, can we not talk about this now?" you asked, shifting on the bed. Or like ever.

He laughed loudly, and then moved over you a little bit more, adding in a second finger but keeping up his slow pace, "Yeah, yeah, okay."

He experimentally applied a bit of pressure to your clit with his thumb and you shifted a little biting your lip, but he was still frowning, looking all over your body, "You can enjoy this, you know? It doesn't have to be all...business."

You laughed because you really were tense, your arms practically lifted off the bed.

"You know you're more likely to get pregnant if you get off, right?" Tyler continued, "Also, I'm going to be really upset with myself if I can't get you to cum so if you could help me out a bit and just relax, that'd be great."

He said it so easily, you couldn't help but laugh, and he came up to kiss you, keeping that one hand in your panties, the other going to your side and you shivered, trying to adjust your head on the pillow. You let your eyes fall shut, finally noticing the sound of the pounding rain on the roof, trying to focus on something other than the fact that your best friend literally had his hand inside you.

You exhaled, hard through your nose, because his fingers felt so rough and weathered against your sensitive walls, but his touch was fairly soft and gentle. He circled your clit steadily and you sighed, your legs falling further apart. He made a little noise, and then you could feel him get a little more frantic, the sensations all disappearing, and then your panties were being tugged down your legs. You opened your eyes just to see him slide his two fingers out of his mouth. But you didn't even have time to process that, because he was thrusting them right back inside you, palm face up this time, his fingers curved so they hit your g-spot right away.

"Oh!" you cried out embarrassingly loud, your back arching hard off the bed. You felt like you should be embarrassed you really did, but Tyler just growled, his hand fucking into you harder, his palm pressing against your clit which each movement, and you were definately throbbing, and you could both hear and feel just how soaked you'd gotten, all at once, and all you could think about what that he just needed to fucking get inside you already before you completely lost it. Your hand had gone down, pinching at your sensitive nipple, which only made you pulse harder.

"Mmmm...fuck," Tyler swore, capturing your lips harshly, panting hard against you. He somehow managed to add a third finger, and you were aware that he was trying to stretch you out, but all that you could focus on was meeting the movements of his mouth, his body heavy and hot over yours, panting against you.

You pawed at his back and he shifted over you just slightly, and you realized that he'd taken his shorts off at some point because you could definately feel all of him brushing over your thigh. You moaned at the sensation and he paused, grinning cheekily and pressed into you hard. He was watching you for your reaction cockily, which was really intimidating, but you still couldn't stop yourself from letting out a breathless whimper.

"Holy shit," he said, his expression changing immediately, kissing you with purpose, his fingers slipping from you and latching onto your side, "that noise."

You could feel the head of his cock right there, settled at your entrance, and Tyler's head dropped to the side, kissing up and down your neck hurriedly, "You're so wet..." he muttered, nibbling a little more, "do you think you can....?"

He was slowly pushing inside you, even though his arms were tensing on either side of your head, like he was trying to force himself to stop, and your eyes widened in alarm, your hand going to his chest. "Mmmm....Tyler...wait..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," you said quickly, because he looked concerned, "Just...do you have a condom?"

You realized what you'd said as soon as it had come out of your mouth, but that didn't stop him from practically lifting himself all the way up off you, and looking at you like you were an idiot. "Yeah, that'd kinda defeat the purpose here."

"Habit," you explained, your hand trying to go to his back to pull him back down, to let him know that you were okay.

"Well, I'm really glad you're practicing safe sex," he said, and you blushed, but he probably didn't see it because he laid back down over you. "You ready?" he whispered into your ear, and you thought you nodded against him, but you really just thought he was giving you an opening to speak up if you weren't okay, because he was already pushing slowly inside you, and you kind of shuddered because the stretched was burning just a little.

"Shh...shhh...shh..." he whispered, even though you weren't saying anything, his hands roaming all over your body. "Breathe."

You tried, even though you didn't think you could, because it felt like your lungs were being pushed up too high in your body. He only stilled once he was all the way inside you, kissing you really gently and leisurely like his dick wasn't inside you but, somehow, it made you just clench around him. "Okay?" he asked.

"Yep," you answered, in a small voice, and he started moving.

It was strange, really, because you didn't know what it would be like, but you didn't think it's be like this, fucking with him pressed so close up over you, your skin rubbing together with each pass, the blankets pulled up over your lower halves, feeling so warm and cold all at once. It was raining heavier outside now and the noise alone made you shiver. You couldn't really hear much, but you could feel him, breathing hard against you.

He fucked into you harder now, his face buried in your neck. "Fuck, fuck, you gotta cum, babe," he said suddenly, his hand snaking between you to rub your clit. He tried to kiss you against but your head was already lolling off to the side shuddering around him. He groaned as you came, clenching him hard, his teeth scraping against your shoulder, "Did you? Did you?" he asked frantically and somehow you squeaked out a yes and he thrust into you hard, swearing as you felt his warmth spread into you.

He practically collapsed onto you, and you were both breathing heavily together. Once your breathing slowed, he pushed himself up, brushing some hair out of your face and pressing a kiss to your forehead, slowly pulling out of you and rolling off to the side. "You good?" he asked, his eyelids heavy, and you nodded.

He was snoring softly less than 5 minutes later and you had to laugh. You laid there for 10 more minutes and then got up, grabbing a sheet that had fallen on the floor and wrapping it around yourself as you went to the bathroom to clean up.

You came back out, looking at Tyler stretched out on his stomach across half the bed, debating on whether you were supposed to leave or not, but your question was answered when he opened one eye, weakly lifting up an arm and whining, "Come cuddle me."

You laughed, making your wake back towards the bed, and he lifted the blanket up so you could slide under and then dropped it on top of you, nestling against you with a soft sigh. "You can be on top in the morning, 'k?"

You'd kind of thought he was joking, but you woke up to a arm laid over you, and definite morning wood pressed against the back of your leg. He pressed his face into the back of your neck pretty much as soon as you opened your eyes, like he'd just been waiting for you to wake up. "Hi," he mumbled against you.

"Hi," you tried to turn a bit but he held you steady. "You alright?"

"Mhmm.." you said, wanting to stretch because you felt like you'd been curled up in the same position all night, but he was still holding you tight, his body pressed up against yours, pulling back to place a couple of kisses on the back of your neck.

"What time do you have to be at work?"

"I have a meeting at 10:30," you said, and you both looked at the clock on the nightstand in front of you, seeing that it was just past 8.

"Mmm...plenty of time," he said, even though you were thinking that, while you could definately shower and eat breakfast here, you'd have to go home for a change of clothes before you could drive to work. "You just hop on whenever you're ready."

"Oh my god," you laughed.

"What?" he responded. His hand when to your hip, encouraging you to turn around to face him. His face was still pressed against the pillow and his eyes look sleepy, hair falling all around him, but he pressed his lips quickly to yours, once and then twice.

He just laid there after that, so you thought he was actually waiting for you, so you started to try and subtly move your hand between your legs under the blanket, because there was no way you were actually ready to take him, but he made a noise of annoyance, pushing your hand away, and slipping his hand down to play with your clit. It really didn't take much to get you going, honestly, because you were still so sensitive from last night. Once your face seemed to be flushed with heat, he rolled onto his back. "Hop on," he said, nodding towards his crotch, and you laughed again, but swung your leg over his. You weren't even there yet, just straddling his thighs, "Yeah, this is a really great view," he smirked, staring at your tits.

You shook your head, laughing softly, and he abruptly tightened his quad underneath you, sending a jolt through your core, trying to tell you you were taking too long. His hands went to your hips, moving you up and towards him, and you reached down, guiding him into you and sinking onto him slowly, letting out a long but quiet moan as he filled you. You swirled your hips a little because you were still getting used to him, and he exhaled loudly, and then tucked his hands behind his head, grinning up at you, "Yeah, this is awesome."

"Tyler," you chided, mostly out of instinct leaning forward and pressing into his chest, even though you were starting to bounce slightly. He laughed deep and you could feel it reverberate throughout your body, bringing his hands out from behind his head to grip your forearms, pulling you down, "Come here."

He kissed you, tongue moving against yours. You didn't stay down there for long though, because you were just starting to get a good rhythm going, and you were also calculating just how long you'd have, because you'd also need to account for a good 10-15 minutes afterwards before you should even get up and shower.

His hands followed you back up this time, gripping your hips and guiding you. You were getting so lost that you almost didn't hear the scratching at the bedroom door, but you Tyler's eyes widened immediately, even though you were still moving together, his hand coming up in alarm to cover your mouth, "Shh...."

You immediately became self-conscious, even though it was really hard to be anything because he started fucking his hips up into you at an aggressive pace, his hands pulling you to him, "I thought you said I was too quiet last night."

"No, no, you're perfect," he said, breathlessly, "but if they hear us they're going to know we're in here."

You must have looked confused even though you were closely approaching orgasm. They were dogs, obviously, it wasn't like they knew what sex sounds were."

"They won't leave," he whispered, "and they're going to be pissed because I didn't let them in here last night."

You were at the point were you kind of didn't care, bracing your hand back on his chest and meeting his movements, although you could hear noises of sniffing coming from under the door. 

"Go away," Tyler yelled out, "We're busy!"

You covered your mouth and started giggling.

"Stop laughing," Tyler said tersely even though he was smiling. His hands gripped your hips even harder, bucking up into you, on a renewed mission. You felt like you were up against the clock now, adding more and more urgency to your movements, your hand going to press against your clit so you had a little extra stimulation.

"Fuck, that's hot," he said, his hand covering yours and pressing your own into you even harder. You let your eyes fall shut, leaning forward, using your legs as leverage to bounce up and down in his lap.

"Oh fuck," you moaned, your mouth opening as you came, falling forward over him. You could both hear and feel him groan, his hot breath in your ear, pulling you harshly over him as he released and you shuddered once more, his hands holding over your back. You both took a couple of deep breaths, until the scratching at the door interrupted you.

"I'll be there in a minute!" Tyler yelled, and you started giggling again, moving to get up off him, but he held you steady, slapping you playfully on the butt and smirking, "So, same time tonight, then?"


	14. Chapter 14

After a full week worth of rain, a sudden heat wave had taken over Toronto and, all of a sudden, it felt like summer was in full force, even though you knew it was really just a teaser.

It was way too hot though to even think about running outside, so you were at the gym with Danielle, set up on the treadmill while she was on the Stairmaster beside you.

"I hate this," she panted.

You laughed, flicking one earbud out of your ear, "Why are you doing it then?"

"Because it makes my butt look good," she responded which, you supposed, was a good a reason as any. The speed on your treadmill picked up, signalling another interval. You slipped the earbud back in, pumping your arms faster and meeting the increased movements of the belt. You focused on nothing more than your breathing, the pounding of your feet, and the music in your ears. You were paying particular attention to your gait because your hips were feeling kind of achy, probably because you weren't used to running on a treadmill, but otherwise your mind was pleasantly blank. Right up until felt a harsh tug on your ponytail. You squealed, hands reaching instinctively for the sides of the treadmill to steady yourself, a strong hand going to your hip to keep you righted as you scrambled to stop the treadmill, unmistakable laughter ringing out behind you as soon as you seemed to gain control of your body again.

"Jesus, Tyler..."

"I didn't think you were going to bail like that," he laughed.

"I could have fallen," you said, hastily pulling out your ponytail and resecuring it, because several little hairs had slipped free, hanging over your eyes.

"I wasn't going to let you fall," he said, and you rolled your eyes, starting the treadmill back up, easing into a jogging pace. Tyler had circled around, coming to settle between the two of the machines, leaning in with an arm set on either one. "Whatcha guys doing?"

"Climbing through hell," Danielle grumbled, and Tyler chuckled, watching her and seemingly amused at the expressions on her face. You looked beyond him, and realized several faces kept glancing in your direction, only because he created a complete kerfuffle, drawing even more attention to himself and you by proxy. And yet, he seemed completely comfortable, just hanging out and watching the two of you.

"You're not really supposed to loiter, you know," you said to Tyler.

"I'm not loitering," he protested, even though he was doing the exact definition of the word, "Wait, is 'loitering' a word?"

"Yes," you and Danielle answered in unison.

"Aren't you supposed to be here to...do stuff?" you asked, because he was still just standing there, "Or did you just come here to stalk us?"

"I am not...stalking you," he laughed, crossing his arms over his chest, "In fact, I was the one who told you to come to this gym, so you're probably stalking me."

"It's the closest gym to both of our houses!" you said, "where else am I going to go?"

"Well, it's not my fault we live five minutes apart."

"It kind of is, because I was living here first."

"It's not my fault you chose a good neighbourhood!" he laughed. "Anyways, you should be happy you live near me because I just bought so many burgers for tonight."

With a quick 'enjoy your workout, ladies,' he set off towards the weight room.

"Was that his way of saying he's cooking dinner tonight?" Danielle asked, "Because I really need something to get me through this workout."

"Yes," you laughed, even as Danielle climbed off the Stairmaster and moved over to walk on the treadmill next to you.

"What did you guys do last night?" she asked.

You felt your face heat up immediately, and it wasn't from the fact that you were running. "Uh...we...uhh..."

"Didn't you and Tyler hang out last night?"

"Yeah, we...uh...just watched a movie," you said. Or, rather, you had started watching a movie but then there was a sex scene about 15 minutes in, and then you started noticing that Tyler kept looking at you out of the corner of his eye because, even though it was non-explicit, apparently that triggered the thought that you should and could be doing something. And then he was on top of you. And then he was leading you into his bedroom. You think the dogs, at least, finished watching the movie.

"What movie?" she asked, "Because if you watched Game Over Man! without me, I don't know if I can forgive you."

"No, no, it wasn't that," you laughed. "I don't know, I don't really remember what it was called."

She looked at you, in disbelief. "You don't remember what it was called?" she asked, "What was it about?"

"It was a comedy. I think," you said, cringing, and hating your inability to lie. Why didn't you just make something up? Or say you were rewatching something you'd already seen? Or not blurted something out and made a face?

Danielle laughed a little under her breath, "Why are you being so weird? Did you not watch a movie or something?"

You shook your head 'no', checking to make sure no one was withing direct earshot, and then turned your head towards her, saying in a small voice "We had sex."

"What?" she questioned, her hands gripping the side of the treadmill and jumping her feet to the side. You kept your lips together, and just nodded slowly, because you didn't really know what to say.

"But I didn't think you were," she sputtered, "...like that..."

Your eyes widened, "Oh, no, no, no, not like that," you said quickly, lowering your voice again, "to try and get me pregnant."

"Well, was it good?"

"It's not...it's not like it's for fun, Danielle."

"Still," she insisted, "how was it?"

You sighed. "I mean, it was kind of weird, the first couple of times," you admitted, "It's Tyler, right? But, like, not bad. Pretty good, actually."

"The first couple of times?" she questioned, "Wait, how many times have you?"

"Four?" you mouth, the rest of your face neutral, even though your mouth was contorting.

"Four?" she said loudly, and a couple of people looked over in your direction. She was quiet until they went back to what they were doing, and then leaned in, "So, what, you just weren't going to tell me?"

"No, I don't, I don't know really," you said, "I mean, it's like...not normal."

Danielle looked at you like she wanted to tell you it was, but she couldn't. "Okay, it's a little weird," she admitted, "But it's also really sweet. But why....why are you guys...?"

"It increases your chances," you said, and then you sighed, "And, like, the clinic called me this morning and I'm supposed to go back in there again and start blood work for the next cycle again. Already. Which is fine, if I had to, but it's a least two weeks of blood work everyday, to see see how close I am to ovulating and it's just...I don't want this to get stressful. I want to be excited, not worried about how long it is until I drop an egg or whether I'm going to get through traffic to make it to my appointment."

"It's that much?" Danielle asked.

"It's pretty much a full-time job," you said, "Or it felt like it. And I would if I had to, but I just told them I was taking a break, because I didn't know what else to say? Like, I don't even know what the point of doing it like that was anymore right now? And I already did the surgery and the egg retrieval and the one IUI, and it's already stressful enough, doing this on my own, you know?"

"You're not alone," she said quickly.

"No, I know, I know" you said, your expression softening, " And I know you really want this for me, but nobody is going to want this as much as I do. I just don't want to get so focused on numbers and test results that I forget why I'm doing this."

She gave you a slightly pained, concerned look, "Y/N..."

"No, I'm really good right now," you said, "I just want to make sure that I don't get to that point. I really need to make sure I'm taking care of myself physically and mentally." Because you could be pregnant at any point now, really.

"You let me know if you need anything though, you know?" Danielle asked.

"I know," you said sincerely.

"Except for sperm, that's all him," she pointed towards Tyler who was walking across the other side of the gym and, even though there was no way he could possibly hear what you were saying, he grinned and shot you both finger guns when he saw Danielle pointing to him, and you both burst into laughter, leaving him shaking his head and walking away, wondering what you were laughing about.

A few hours later, the sun had set, but it was still warm and sticky, with practically no breeze to account for.

"Hey, Cinderella!" Tyler was yelling from across the yard to where you were sitting next to Meaghan, and the both of you were looking at each other in confusion because you didn't know who the hell he was talking to. He was waving something in the air, and then it was flying towards you, both of your squeeling and trying to pull back to avoid getting hit, but you couldn't see it was your flip-flop until it landed on the ground in front of you with a smack.

"I finally found it," he said, walking over to you and picking it up, but it was definately covered in dirt and rocks, and you really didn't care if you got it back, honestly. It had become something of a running joke, with your other one set on the kitchen counter, which you thought was fairly unsanitary, but he seemed to think was a great idea. "I'll put it with the other one," he said, going back inside the house.

"Why was your shoe here?" Meaghan asked with a laugh.

"Oh, I lost it last week when it started pouring rain when we were sitting out here," you explained, avoiding mentioning the part where you'd had your tongue down each other's throats, even though it was a contributing factor.

"So you just went home with one shoe?"

"Oh, no. I had shoes here from when I was living here," you said, and then shut your eyes when you realized what you said, "When I was staying here. When I was dog sitting." Wow. You really needed sleep.

You were saved from further fumbling with your words when Cash came up to you, shoving his face in your lap and panting loudly. "What's wrong?" you asked, running your hand over your head, "You hot? Want to go swimming?"

He wagged his tail and you took that as a yes, so you got up and he ran towards the water, stopping once to make sure that you coming. You looked around and found a stick, tossing it into the water and he dove in after it. Slipping your shoes off, you stepped up, enjoying the cool water against your feet, but sticking near the shore to try and gather more sticks, because you knew he'd probably have lose it in the darkness.

You heard footsteps behind you and threw another stick in the pile you were starting before turning, seeing Tyler walking towards you, the light from his phone excessively bright in the dark, "He better be sleeping on your side of the bed tonight," Tyler said, nodding towards Cash who was coming out of the water and then trying to shake off right next to Tyler, who tried to slide out of the way, "You're all wet, dude."

"He was hot," you explained, and Tyler shrugged, picking up a stick from your pile and tossing it back into the water.

"You still better keep him on your side," he said.

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired," you say, stifling a yawn just thinking about you bed, "I don't think I'll stay here tonight."

He smirks at you and then laughs "You can still sleep here tonight, you dork. What did you think I meant?"

You ignore his teasing comment and instead just smile softly, picking up the stick Cash had dropped at your feet and throwing it back into the water. "Thanks, but I have an early meeting so I should go home."

"Mmk," he said, holding his phone up to look at it, "What are you doing next Thursday night?"

"Next Thursday?" You questioned, trying to think.

"That's what I said," he replied, ever the smartass.

"Nothing, I don't think? Why?"

"My mom wants us to come for dinner one night next week to thank you for breakfast."

"Well, she doesn't need to do that," you said, and Tyler huffed loudly, "What's your problem?"

"You two always do this thing," he said, "where you try to out-nice each other."

"Out-nice each other?" you balked.

"Yes," he said, running his hand through his hair, "You do it all the time. 'I'll do the dishes. Oh, no, I'll do the dishes', " he imitated, his voice mockingly high, "and then I'm in the middle and it's kind of uncomfortable."

"It makes you uncomfortable that your mother and I are too nice to each other?"

"Obviously not. Especially when I don't have to do anything," he laughed loudly at himself before continuing, "I just mean, don't do the 'she doesn't have to' thing. Especially when you already go over there for dinner all the time, anyways. Just come. It'd make her happy."

"Okay, okay," you said, "Tell her I'll come."

**

It was more out of habit that anything else that you checked your phone before your phone as you were walking out of the office, seeing a text from Tyler.

You can come over after work if you want 😉 😉

You laughed a little in disbelief at the winky face emojis, even though you really could believe it coming from him. Rather than driving home, you drove over to his place, feeling someone else's hand pulling the door open from inside as you where trying to push it open. Tyler was standing there, of course, wearing nothing other than a pair of shorts, His hand somehow found the back cutout on your sleeveless blouse, simultaneously pulling you further into the house and to his lips. He kissed you gently for a second, and then backed you up against the open door, using your body to shut it, his lips trailing up your jaw and to your ear, latching onto your neck. "I fucking love it when you wear your work clothes," he said, rocking his body hard against yours and you couldn't help but moan, "it's so sexy."

It was getting super heated, super fast, and all you could basically do was basically grasp his broad back and try to keep up with the movements of his mouth and tongue. He was so harder and bigger all over than all the other guys you'd been with before and, yet, it wasn't too harsh or rough. There was some softness in there, too.

He pulled away from you with a snap, his hands going to untuck the blouse from your skirt hurriedly "Hi," he said, kissing you some more, as you tried to slide off your heels, "How was your day?"

"Good," you laughed against his mouth, grasping onto his shoulder to keep you balanced as you kicked your other shoe off, "How was yours?"

"Good," he pulled back to look at you for a moment, "Great, actually."

He went back to kissing you again, and you were just trying to hold on for dear life, especially as he started pushing your blouse up, like he was trying to take it off without disconnecting his lips from yours. You were vaguely wondering what had gotten him so worked out when you just kind of blinked open one eye, and then saw Gerry standing off in the hallway, staring right at you. You tried to ignore him, you really did, but he was just standing there, his eyes locked on yours.

"Mmph...Tyler...Tyler," you said, pushing at his chest.

"Hmm? What's wrong?" he pulled back from you, but kept his hands resting on your hips.

You just pointed over his shoulder, and he turned, and you could see the frown on the side of his face. "Well, that's fucking creepy," he said, stilling for a moment and then grasping your wrist, "C'mon, let's go upstairs."

You both basically ran up the stairs, with Tyler slamming the bedroom door shut behind you. His hands immediately went to the bottom of your shirt and you raised your arms so he could pull it over your head. He started kissing you again, and you reached to pull the clip from your hair, because it was starting to give you a bit of a headache (though you being pressed up against the door with the hairclip trapped between that and your head may have been a factor as well), letting your hair fall over your shoulders.

"Fuck," Tyler said, his hands trying to go for the back of your bra, but his fingers just kept slipping and he pulled away from where he'd been planting little kisses on your chest, "What the fuck is this? Some kind of medieval torture device?"

You laughed, because it was a heavy-duty strapless bra that was essentially that, yet your fingers went around the back and undid the snaps easily, letting it fall free with a sigh, because it really did feel great to have that thing off.

"Mmm..You shouldn't wear that," Tyler grumbled against your skin, "Too tight." He was now literally licking at the red marks left around your rib cage, right under your boobs, which you were sure was disguisting and sweaty, even though you had to admit it felt kind of awesome, especially when you felt the cool air pass over your wet skin.

His hands started running around the waistband of your skirt, and he frowned, and then dropped to his knees before you, pressing a kiss to your belly and continuing to run his hands over your hips and your ass. You weren't really sure what he was doing, honestly, until he pressed his chin against your stomach to look up at you. "Where is the zipper on this thing?" he asked sheepishly.

You laughed, wondering how he'd missed the apparent elastic waistband considering he'd touched basically every inch of your skirt. "There isn't one," you said, pulling at it to show him.

"Oh, that's awesome," he said, hooking his fingers inside, and tugging both it and your panties down your legs. Once they were free enough that they could slide down your legs on their own, you pulled him back up, your fingers struggling for his shorts.

It felt like a second later you were both tumbling backwards onto the cool sheets of his bed, him on top of you, his cock hard and ready against you.

"Mmmm...hang on, hang on, babe," he said, pulling back hard and smirking at you, "Wanna try something."

He kept his hand on your boob as he leaned over the side of the bed, dangling his head like he was about to fall over, looking for something. He pulled back with a couple of pillows, removing his hand from you to shove the pillows under your hips. "There," he said, like he was proud of himself, adjusting himself and leaning over you, pushing steadily inside you. Your mouth fell open, because he was so deep, and he caught it with his mouth, not even kissing you, just kind of breathing into you.

Once you kissed him though, he set up on both arms, and you were having an incredibly difficult time keeping your eyes open because, fuck, this angle was straight-up fantastic, and you really didn't think you needed anything more, just as long as he kept doing it.

"It's supposed to....fuck," he breathed, rocking into you, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment and then he somehow managed to tilt his head off to the side, "Good for baby making."

Oh, right. Baby making.

He shifted a little, and you moaned loudly, hands reaching for anything to grasp onto.

"Feel good?" he smirked, and your body betrayed you, because you let out a crazy moan, "I'll take that as a yes."

You were trying to control yourself, but you really couldn't, because he was stroking your g-spot just right and you could feel it - and him - everywhere around you.

"Oh my god, Tyler," you cried out, and felt your face get even redder immediately, but it turned into an afterthought.

"Fuck," he mumbled, pushing at your limbs with his hands, kissing you quickly and pulling back up like he didn't know where to focus, "Hold your leg back for me?"

Your hand went behind the thigh he'd be pushing at, grasping hard at the skin while he was still moving hard inside you, using all of your remaining mental capacity to try and focus on this task, especially because your leg seemed to not be helping at all. Finally, you managed to get your leg in a position where your ankle was hooked over his shoulder and all your arm had to do was try and keep your leg steady. You were left spread completely open, giving him the space to get even deeper.

"Fuck," Tyler groaned loudly, "That's so good." Somewhere, in the back of your mind, a little something in you burst, thankful that he was falling apart just as you were.

"Mmm...please...I need, I need," you pleaded, even though you were feeling mortified at what you were saying, you couldn't help the words from tumbling out.

Tyler's hand was moving between your bodies, probably seeking out your clit, but you shook your head hard, your free hand grasping at his shoulder to push down to you and then his hip to pull him hard into you. Your breasts were smashed against his chest, your hard nipples chafing with each movement, but you didn't care because it was only sending more pleasurable tingles throughout your body.

"Oh my god, oh my god," you panted, your back arching hard off the bed and your hand losing your grip on your leg as you came, hard around him. He was cumming inside you while you were still mid-orgasm, your bodies rising and falling together, and then collapsing back down onto the bed, your whimpers and moans turning into deep breaths as you both tried to regain your breathing.

After a moment, he lifted up off you, kissing you once and then twice, chastely and gently, rolling off you slowly. "That was hot," he said, and you started giggling, just about everything really. He stood up from the bed, pulling his shorts back in and you shifted, trying to reach for the sheets.

"Mmmm...just stay there for a few minutes," he said, gesturing to the area of your hips, even leaning over and adjusting the pillows under you a bit.

You didn't tell him that you didn't think you could move even if you wanted to.

He picked your clothes up from the floor, setting them on the foot of the bed, and then climbed back on the, crawling gently on the mattress, pulling the sheet up and over your chest, because, for some reason, you always got goosebumps after an orgasm, no matter how warm it might be outside.

"I'll be out in a few minutes," you said.

Tyler shrugged, laying back down and resting his head on your chest. "I can chill with you," he said, "And then we should get you food. And then we should try that again."


	15. Chapter 15

A part of you had been worried about the dynamic between you and Tyler changing once you'd started having sex but things were actually really quite normal. Other than the fact that you seemed to be, well, taking advantage of mostly any time you were alone together to....focus on trying to get you pregnant.

When you were with other people though, or before and after the baby making activities, things were pretty much just as they were before. Except for the fact that Tyler would now sometimes just rest his head on your chest while you were watching T.V. or something, straight-up using your boobs as a pillow. Not even in like a sexual way either, just like it was now as acceptable for him to do that as it was for him to rest his head on your shoulder.

But, other than that: normal.

You were in the middle of creaming together some butter and sugar when a voice from behind you said, "Oh good, you're here."

You gasped, spinning around with the spatula still in your hand, your other hand flying to your chest, "Jesus, Tyler."

He raised his eyebrows, looking at the whisk in your hand, which had a glob of butter still stuck to the top of it, "Were you going to beat me to death with that?"

You turned back to the task at hand, "You could have, you know, called me like a normal person to see if I was here."

"This is more fun," he quipped, "And your car was in the driveway so I figured you were home."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was bored," he looked out the window sullenly at the rain, and then leaned over, his arm going around one shoulder and resting his chin on the other to look in the bowl in front of you, "Whatcha making?"

"Banana chocolate chip muffins."

"Mmm..." he said, sticking his pinky finger in the bowl.

"That's just -" you started, closing your eyes as he stuck his finger in his mouth and made a face, "...butter and sugar."

"That's kinda gross," he said, moving out of the way,

"I didn't tell you to eat it!" you said, and he laughed, going to sit down at your kitchen table.

You sighed, grabbing a fork from the kitchen drawer, as well as the bowl you already had with bananas set in it, setting them in front of him.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Mash them," you said, and he gave you a weary look, "You said you were bored," you reminded him.

He sighed a little but took the fork from you, and you went back to mixing in the flour. Once you were done, you went back to mixing in the flour, and then collected the bowl from him once you were ready, mashing it as you took it back to the counter.

"Hey!" Tyler said, "I just did that, and you're fixing it."

"Oh," you laughed, "sorry."

You inconspicuously tried to get all the remaining lumps out.

"Did you put the things in the thing yet?" Tyler asked.

"Hmmm...?" you spun around, and realized from the gestures that he was making that he meant if you put the muffin wrappers in the tin yet. "No, you can do it."

Thankfully, he seemed to know his way well enough around your kitchen, moving around you to get what he needed, and you realized he'd probably watched you make muffins dozens of times. easily, although you didn't realize he was watching you as carefully to know where you kept everything. You glanced quickly out of the corner of your eye, watching him set the liners in the muffin tins and smiled, thinking that, in a couple of years time, you could have another helper, a littler one, who'd probably be sitting up on the counter doing exactly what Tyler was doing on a rainy day just like today.

You were finishing up, just adding the chocolate chips, when Tyler pulled the container from your hand, scooping up a handful, and then sliding it back towards you. "Tyler!" you scolded.

"What?" he laughed, popping some of the chocolate chips into his mouth, "My hands are clean."

"No, they're not, you licked your finger when you first got here, remember?"

"Well, my tongue's been in your mouth, so does it really matter?" he asked cockily, and you ran your hand over your face but didn't respond. Tyler laughed loudly, but whether it was at his own comment or at your lack of response, you weren't sure.

You finished scooping the matter into the tins, sliding them into the oven and setting the timer.

"How long do those take to bake?" he asked.

"Thirty minutes."

Tyler looked at the oven and then back to you. "You wanna?" he asked, eyebrows raised suggestively, "while we wait?"

You laughed a little. "We don't have to."

He raised his eyebrows again, but this time more in curiosity. "You sore?" he asked, "Or still tired?"

"No," you answered honestly, even though he was still looking at you, "I just mean....you don't have to. Every time we're alone."

He looked at you for a moment and then snorted with laughter, bending over. "Yeah, I really hate getting laid all the time," he said when he stood back up, taking a step towards you and placing a hand on your hip but nothing more, looking down at you, "It's just awful."

You laughed a little, "But...you don't have to. Just with me, you know." You usually didn't pay much attention to whom he he sleeping with, but you were 90% sure he had been sleeping with Meghan, or had at least been trying to. You were trying to figure out how to broach the topic without saying 'for the love of god, please, Tyler, please wear a condom', when he interrupted your thought process.

"Oh, I'm saving it all for you," he grinned, which someone seemed equal parts sweet and disgusting all at once. But then he rocked his hips into you, in a way that was really not attractive at all, and you couldn't help but giggle.

"Stop laughing," he said lightly, but you couldn't really, because you'd never thought about.....well, semen, so much in your life. And it was kind of funny. "Good thing I know how to make you shut up," he mumbled, leaning in to kiss you softly, his hand settled on your hip, pulling away slowly to look you in the eyes. "Okay?"

"Mhmm..." you smiled.

"Good," he said decidedly, his other hand dropping to your other hip, boosting you up to sit on the counter, his other hand going to your hip, boosting you onto the counter. burying his head in your neck, "You smell so good." His hand trailed down you side and you shivered, sticking your hands between your bodies to grab your shirt, pulling it over your head.

"Eager, huh?" Tyler smirked, "I like it."

He repeated the action with his own shirt, and you laughed, pointing at the timer on the stove behind him. "We've only got 23 minutes," you said, making a movement to jump down from the counter but Tyler grabbed your wrists, blocking you in.

"Maybe we should stay here then," he said, "make sure it doesnt burn."

You swallowed. You'd never had sex on your kitchen counter before, or even in your kitchen at all, but you couldn't help your body's reaction. Tyler was still looking at you, head tilted to the side, like he was waiting for you to You, but he's taken advantage of the fact that you maxi skirt had gotten caught on your knee against the counter, his calloused hand rubbing circles up your inner thigh. Once he reached your core, he didn't dip inside but ran his fingers up you slit, and then focused on on rubbing a couple deliberate but light circles on your clit through the fabric before pulling away altogether.

"Is that turning you on?" He asked with a deep laugh, "you're soaked."

"Tyler," you pleaded with him to not make you feel self-conscious, your entire face and chest turning red.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," he said, pushing your legs further apart so he could settle between them, "It's turning me on too."

He pulled on your legs so you were at the edge of the counter while simultaneously rocking his hips into you so you could feel just how turned on he was. Your legs wrapped around him to pull him closer to you and he groaned, rocking his bulge against your clit. You grasped the back of his head and kissed him deeply and he started getting frantic, a mess of lips and tongues, him grinding against you.

"Mmmmfuck.. fuck...." Tyler mumbled suddenly, pulling back and pushing at your legs to get you to unlatch them from his body. You let your body drop free and, for a split second, you worried something was wrong, until he was pulling at your skirt and your panties, pushing his shorts away.

He ran his hand over your centre quickly like he was testing you, and then thrust into you hard and suddenly, your ass sliding backwards on the cold counter with a screetch since you didn't even have time to brace yourself.

"Mmmphsorry...sorry," he muttered, pulling you back towards him. "You okay?"

He was asking this even as he was still moving in and out of you, and you looked down to see his cock sliding in and out of you, glistening with your juices, which was super hot honestly.

" Yeah," you breathed, and you could feel him smile against you when he kissed you, your legs locking back around him and pulling him to you, your hands sliding down your back. He grasped your hair quite suddenly piling it up against your scalp. He wasn't pulling it, but really just guiding your head off to the side, really kissing you deeply, and it was all you could do to moan into his mouth, breaking away with a gasp when he found that spot high within your walls.

"Mmm..there?" He breathed into your ear, burying his head into your neck like you'd learned he did when he got close.

"Right there," you confirmed, his hands going roughly to your breast, squeezing it through your bra. The oven beeped, signaling a one minute warning until the timer went off and you both paused for just a millisecond before you started moving again.

"Don't stop," you panted, "Don't you dare stop," and he made a little strangled laugh noise, his hands falling to your ass, pulling you hard into him, his hips snapping against yours. He was cumming before you were this time, but with the friction of his pubic bone against you, his warmth spreading inside you, and the erratic movements he was making, you were tumbling over right behind him. He was panting hard against you, kissing over your chest and the swell of your breasts above your bra as you both came down.

You seemed to both become aware of the beeping timer at the same time and Tyler pulled out of you gently, and when he reached down to pull his shorts up, stumbling towards the stove, and you realized he'd never even kicked them off from around his ankles. You shifted on the counter, trying to keep all the cum from leaking out from you, while Tyler turned the timer off, holding his shorts up with one hand by his knees, and you briefly though how incredibly unsanitary this all was. He grabbed a tea towel and pulled his shorts all the way up, grabbing the pan of muffins from the oven, setting them atop the stove.

" You have to check them," you said, when you saw him going to turn the oven off.

"Hmm...?" He turned back to you and frowned a little. "You want a blanket or something?"

You nodded gratefully, because even though you still had your bra on, you were completely naked otherwise and were starting to feel exposed sitting on your counter, especially now that he had his shorts back on.

"Thanks," you said, taking the blanket he'd grabbed from the living room for you, extending it out to you.

"Yeah," he replied, shifting his weight back and forth as you covered yourself back up. "So, what do I need to do here?"

"Take a toothpick," you said, pointing to the cabinet they were in, "and stick it into the middle of one of the muffins in the centre of the pain. If it comes out clean, they're ready."

You watched as he did as you instructed, holding the toothpick up way too close to his face to check it, examining it under the light. "Is this okay?" He asked, crossing the room towards you and holding the toothpick our towards you.

"Mmhhm.. "

"They're ready?" He asked. You nodded, watching as he turned off the oven and then pulled one out of the pan, starting to unwrap it.

"Tyler, they're going to be —" you stopped as he took a bite and then opened his mouth with an 'mmm hot', "—hot"

He kept blowing on the half-eaten muffin still in his hand, grabbing another muffin and setting it atop of the blanket on your lap. "Good call on the muffins, though," he said, leaning against the counter next to you and eating more of it, licking the melted chocolate chips off his fingers, "they're delicious."

**

The drive to Tyler's mother's house was one that was so familiar to you, it was almost automatic. He'd gone up earlier in the day while you had to work, so you were driving up on your own, but that wasn't unfamiliar either. You'd offered to bring something, but everyone had insisted not to, and you'd only really had time to stop home to change after work, so you assured yourself you'd make it up next time. The front door swung open before you had a chance to knock, his mom giving you a bright, "Hi, honey."

You didn't have time to answer because you were literally swarmed by dogs, shooting her an apologetic look as you bent down to give them attention, because you were certain they wouldn't leave you alone otherwise, "Hi, hi," you said in a light voice, trying to pet every head that was being stuck in your face.

"Oh my god, you haven't seen her in two whole days," Tyler said, coming out of the kitchen, "it's so exciting."

Finally, they calmed down enough that you could stand back up, saying hello to Tyler's sisters.

"Did you do something different with your hair?" Jackie asked, "It looks nice."

"It's the same as it's been for the last three years, Mom," Tyler interrupted.

"Oh?" She sounded surprised, looking at you carefully, "Did you do something else new?"

You pursed your lips, shaking your head.

"Oh, well, you look really nice though,"she said.

"Thanks," you smiled, and Tyler took the opportunity to wrap his arm around you a side hug and say 'hello'.

"You probably just need new glasses, Mom," he said.

"Oh, Tyler, I do not!" she scolded, and he laughed loudly, but she just ignored it, "Dinner's ready, if you are."

You agreed, following her through the kitchen towards the dining room. "It smells really good in here," you commented, Tyler catching your eye and mouthing 'Out-nicing each other', causing you to shake your head. It was all going well and good, just like all times, all of you gathered around the dining room table, serving up your plates.

Until Jackie brought out a bottle of red wine, and started pouring it into the glasses set around the table. When she got to yours, however, Tyler yelled out a sudden "No!" from where he was seated next to you, grabbing the glass, and causing everyone to look at him in confusion, except for you, who was looking at him with wide eyes.

"Uh...none for her..." he said in a normal tone, "she's doing a cleanse."

You could hear Jackie chastising Tyler for not telling her, because what if she made something you couldn't eat? And then Tyler was telling her not to worry, you'd just cut out alcohol because you were showing up to work hungover too much. And one of his sister's was saying that he must have you confused with himself. And you should be saying something, anything, but you couldn't.

Because, you'd just realized, that while you'd thought about him and his future wife and kid's feelings, you hadn't thought about his family's feelings.

You hadn't even thought to ask him about it.

And they were right there, in front of you, the whole time.

And if this worked, this....your child would be a part of them, too.

How could you not even think about them?

Suddenly, you stood up pushing your chair back with a start, running towards the bathroom and slamming the door shut, emptying your stomach's contents into the toilet before you even had a chance to realize just how horribly sick you felt. Taking deep breaths, you sat back, on your heels, slowly pushing yourself up, running cool water in the sink and splashing it on your face, forcing yourself to look at yourself in the mirror. You bent down, searching beneath the sink for mouthwash, rinsing your mouth out, and then sinking slowly onto the floor, leaning against the vanity, and just breathing, trying to prepare yourself to face what would be back out there, because you were not prepared to have a breakdown at his mother's house. Not today.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door, and you froze, as if whoever was out there wouldn't know you were inside if you kept still enough.

"Can I come in?" Tyler's voice came from the other side of the door and you relaxed a little, reaching up to turn the doorknob.

He slipped inside, shutting the door behind him, standing in front of you.

"Did you throw up?" he asked, and it looked like he was smiling a little, which was weird, but you assumed it must be the angle.

You nodded and he crouched down in front of you, sticking out his hand to brush some hair back away from your face. "Do you still feel sick?"

You shook your head 'no'.

"Okay, so I'm going to take you home, okay?"

"Tyler, I can drive myself," you said, because you didn't want to ruin the whole family dinner, but he shook his head adamantly, extending a hand to help you up off the ground.

"It's already been decided," he said firmly, "My mom's packing up some food for us. We can do this again some other time."

You didn't have the energy to argue with him, so you let him pull you up from the floor. Tyler's mom came to say goodbye to you, saying that she hoped you felt better, and it was all you could do to just smile and nod, because you didn't know what was going to happen if you opened your mouth. He guided you out to the driveway, hand on your lower back, breaking away from you as the dogs circled your feet.

"I can come back for my car tomorrow," he said, and you realized that he already had your car keys in his hand, "Is it alright if the dogs go in your car, though?"

You didn't say anything, even as you were walking past his car towards yours.

"Babe?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, that's fine," you said, opening the back door and patting the back seat to encourage the dogs to jump in, shutting the door carefully behind them and climbing into the passenger seat.

"Tell me if you start feeling sick again," Tyler said, adjusting the driver's side seat, teasing, "Geez, you're so short."

You sighed, though, because Gerry was trying to climb up into the front seat as Tyler was pulling out of the driveway, you directed him in between your legs, his head finally settling in your lap, because at least you could keep him corralled that way. "He hates the backseat," you explained to Tyler, who laughed a little under his breath.

It was silent for a moment, although you kept noticing that Tyler was glancing at you out of the corner of his eye repeatedly, which was only making you more nervous.

"What are you going to tell her?" you blurted out.

"Hmm?"

"Your mom. What are you going to tell her about....?" you said, gesturing at your belly in a panic, like you were already pregnant, only because you couldn't put this whole siltation into words.

Tyler frowned at you, looking at you quickly before turning his attention back to the road, hand set on top of the steering wheel, "That's not for you to worry about."

"Of course it's for me to worry about!" you said, thrashing your hands around, "It's....I'm the whole reason why we're doing this. I didn't even think about your Mom...or your family..." Gerry was moving his head around in your legs, probably alarmed at how you were raising your voice, and you tried to lower your voice just a little, petting him to try and calm him down.

"Because it's not your responsibility to."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not," Tyler said in a softer tone, "Look, it's my body and my decision. You're not expected to think about that, or worry....any of that. That's for me to deal with."

"But...."

Tyler gave you a soft look. "I know you love them. But you can't - you shouldn't - take this all on yourself. You gotta let me own my decision."

You nodded, and it was quiet for as he turned the corner. "Are you....were you planning to tell her?"

"I was planning to....after you're..." he admitted, nodding towards your belly, his eyes flicking upwards to yours quickly, and then back to the road, "if that's alright with you?"

You nodded, because you couldn't imagine keeping something like this a secret. If you tried, one of you would probably let it slip somehow. Or, the kid would somehow look so much like Tyler that she couldn't help but notice similarities. "I just... can we not right away though?" you asked, "Like wait until the second trimester? Or once I'm showing?" The last thing you would want would be to completely rock their worlds without being 100% certain that this was happening.

"Yeah, yeah," Tyler said easily, settling his hand on your knee, "It's whatever you want."

You felt a little more relaxed, leaning your head against the door, starting to feel sleepy for the rest of the drive, keeping your eyes focused on the road, until Tyler started pulling into a parking lot. "Where are you going?"

"To get a pregnancy test," he said, nodding towards the drug store you were parked in front of now, "You threw up."

Ohhhhh. That explained why he looked happy about you being sick.

"Unless...do you already have one?"

"No," you said, "I should get one."

You expected him to stay in the car with the dogs, but he followed you into the store, trailing a few feet behind you, especially when you took a long time looking at the pregnancy tests, only because you'd never actually bought one when you wanted to result to be positive, and there was an overwhelming amount of options. Afterwards, he ask if you wanted to go to your place or his, but you figured his would be easier since you had the dogs with you. He started trailing after you there, too, following you through the house and into the bathroom as you opened the box, and you jumped a little when he shut the door behind you.

You were pretty sure that you knew how it worked, but you read the instructions over anyways, while Tyler just stood watching there, weight shifting back and forth.

"Can you, like, not watch me pee?" you asked, as he continued to stand there.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry," he shook his head, giving you a sheepish look, and then wrapped his forearm around your head, kissing you quickly on the head, "I'll just be right out there, if you need me."

He was, sitting on the bed, with his hands in his lap, leaning forward expectantly when you came out, sitting down on the bed next to you, and you pulled your phone out of your pocket, setting the timer.

"Are you?" he asked in a small voice.

"I don't know yet," you said, "we have to wait three minutes."

You both just sat there in silence, other than the noise of both of your breathing, watching the countdown on your phone. When it finally went off, you waited a couple of more seconds before you stood up, and Tyler popped up next to you, and then hung back just a little, "Do you want me in there with you?"

You looked back at him, smiling gratefully, "Yeah, yeah, you can come."

He followed behind you, and you took a deep breath, before looking at the test yourself, and then holding it up so he could see the results from over your shoulder: Not Pregnant.

"I'm sorry," he said, immediately wrapping you in his arms, pulling you to his chest. After a moment, he pulled back, looking you seriously in the eyes, hands on your shoulders, "You alright?"

"Yeah," you answered, "I didn't think it would happen right away." You didn't. Even though there was a little part of you that was a bit disappointed.

Tyler nodded, his hands still on your shoulders, "You still feel sick?"

You shook your head, heading back into the bedroom, "I think I was just nervous."

"Nervous about what?" he asked, sitting back down next to you on the bed.

"Your family," you answered.

Tyler exhaled, running his hand through his hair, looking at you softly, "You might not have thought about it, but I did. A lot," he said, "And everything's going to work out, okay? Just trust me."

You nodded softly, looking from where his hand was on your knee to him, and he smiled at you. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I am actually," you said. Now that you thought about it, you realized you were.

"Okay," Tyler said, "Here's what we're going to do. We're going to put on some comfy clothes, and we're going to eat this dinner my wonderful mother made. And then we're going to get in bed, and cuddle up with the dogs, and watch a stupid movie. And then, in the morning, we're going to kick them out. And we're going to try again, 'k?"

"Okay," you smiled. It sounded exactly like what you needed.


	16. Chapter 16

A part of you had been worried about the dynamic between you and Tyler changing once you'd started having sex but things were actually really quite normal. Other than the fact that you seemed to be, well, taking advantage of mostly any time you were alone together to....focus on trying to get you pregnant.

When you were with other people though, or before and after the baby making activities, things were pretty much just as they were before. Except for the fact that Tyler would now sometimes just rest his head on your chest while you were watching T.V. or something, straight-up using your boobs as a pillow. Not even in like a sexual way either, just like it was now as acceptable for him to do that as it was for him to rest his head on your shoulder.

But, other than that: normal.

You were in the middle of creaming together some butter and sugar when a voice from behind you said, "Oh good, you're here."

You gasped, spinning around with the spatula still in your hand, your other hand flying to your chest, "Jesus, Tyler."

He raised his eyebrows, looking at the whisk in your hand, which had a glob of butter still stuck to the top of it, "Were you going to beat me to death with that?"

You turned back to the task at hand, "You could have, you know, called me like a normal person to see if I was here."

"This is more fun," he quipped, "And your car was in the driveway so I figured you were home."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was bored," he looked out the window sullenly at the rain, and then leaned over, his arm going around one shoulder and resting his chin on the other to look in the bowl in front of you, "Whatcha making?"

"Banana chocolate chip muffins."

"Mmm..." he said, sticking his pinky finger in the bowl.

"That's just -" you started, closing your eyes as he stuck his finger in his mouth and made a face, "...butter and sugar."

"That's kinda gross," he said, moving out of the way,

"I didn't tell you to eat it!" you said, and he laughed, going to sit down at your kitchen table.

You sighed, grabbing a fork from the kitchen drawer, as well as the bowl you already had with bananas set in it, setting them in front of him.

"What's this?" he asked.

"Mash them," you said, and he gave you a weary look, "You said you were bored," you reminded him.

He sighed a little but took the fork from you, and you went back to mixing in the flour. Once you were done, you went back to mixing in the flour, and then collected the bowl from him once you were ready, mashing it as you took it back to the counter.

"Hey!" Tyler said, "I just did that, and you're fixing it."

"Oh," you laughed, "sorry."

You inconspicuously tried to get all the remaining lumps out.

"Did you put the things in the thing yet?" Tyler asked.

"Hmmm...?" you spun around, and realized from the gestures that he was making that he meant if you put the muffin wrappers in the tin yet. "No, you can do it."

Thankfully, he seemed to know his way well enough around your kitchen, moving around you to get what he needed, and you realized he'd probably watched you make muffins dozens of times. easily, although you didn't realize he was watching you as carefully to know where you kept everything. You glanced quickly out of the corner of your eye, watching him set the liners in the muffin tins and smiled, thinking that, in a couple of years time, you could have another helper, a littler one, who'd probably be sitting up on the counter doing exactly what Tyler was doing on a rainy day just like today.

You were finishing up, just adding the chocolate chips, when Tyler pulled the container from your hand, scooping up a handful, and then sliding it back towards you. "Tyler!" you scolded.

"What?" he laughed, popping some of the chocolate chips into his mouth, "My hands are clean."

"No, they're not, you licked your finger when you first got here, remember?"

"Well, my tongue's been in your mouth, so does it really matter?" he asked cockily, and you ran your hand over your face but didn't respond. Tyler laughed loudly, but whether it was at his own comment or at your lack of response, you weren't sure.

You finished scooping the matter into the tins, sliding them into the oven and setting the timer.

"How long do those take to bake?" he asked.

"Thirty minutes."

Tyler looked at the oven and then back to you. "You wanna?" he asked, eyebrows raised suggestively, "while we wait?"

You laughed a little. "We don't have to."

He raised his eyebrows again, but this time more in curiosity. "You sore?" he asked, "Or still tired?"

"No," you answered honestly, even though he was still looking at you, "I just mean....you don't have to. Every time we're alone."

He looked at you for a moment and then snorted with laughter, bending over. "Yeah, I really hate getting laid all the time," he said when he stood back up, taking a step towards you and placing a hand on your hip but nothing more, looking down at you, "It's just awful."

You laughed a little, "But...you don't have to. Just with me, you know." You usually didn't pay much attention to whom he he sleeping with, but you were 90% sure he had been sleeping with Meghan, or had at least been trying to. You were trying to figure out how to broach the topic without saying 'for the love of god, please, Tyler, please wear a condom', when he interrupted your thought process.

"Oh, I'm saving it all for you," he grinned, which someone seemed equal parts sweet and disgusting all at once. But then he rocked his hips into you, in a way that was really not attractive at all, and you couldn't help but giggle.

"Stop laughing," he said lightly, but you couldn't really, because you'd never thought about.....well, semen, so much in your life. And it was kind of funny. "Good thing I know how to make you shut up," he mumbled, leaning in to kiss you softly, his hand settled on your hip, pulling away slowly to look you in the eyes. "Okay?"

"Mhmm..." you smiled.

"Good," he said decidedly, his other hand dropping to your other hip, boosting you up to sit on the counter, his other hand going to your hip, boosting you onto the counter. burying his head in your neck, "You smell so good." His hand trailed down you side and you shivered, sticking your hands between your bodies to grab your shirt, pulling it over your head.

"Eager, huh?" Tyler smirked, "I like it."

He repeated the action with his own shirt, and you laughed, pointing at the timer on the stove behind him. "We've only got 23 minutes," you said, making a movement to jump down from the counter but Tyler grabbed your wrists, blocking you in.

"Maybe we should stay here then," he said, "make sure it doesnt burn."

You swallowed. You'd never had sex on your kitchen counter before, or even in your kitchen at all, but you couldn't help your body's reaction. Tyler was still looking at you, head tilted to the side, like he was waiting for you to You, but he's taken advantage of the fact that you maxi skirt had gotten caught on your knee against the counter, his calloused hand rubbing circles up your inner thigh. Once he reached your core, he didn't dip inside but ran his fingers up you slit, and then focused on on rubbing a couple deliberate but light circles on your clit through the fabric before pulling away altogether.

"Is that turning you on?" He asked with a deep laugh, "you're soaked."

"Tyler," you pleaded with him to not make you feel self-conscious, your entire face and chest turning red.

"You don't have to be embarrassed," he said, pushing your legs further apart so he could settle between them, "It's turning me on too."

He pulled on your legs so you were at the edge of the counter while simultaneously rocking his hips into you so you could feel just how turned on he was. Your legs wrapped around him to pull him closer to you and he groaned, rocking his bulge against your clit. You grasped the back of his head and kissed him deeply and he started getting frantic, a mess of lips and tongues, him grinding against you.

"Mmmmfuck.. fuck...." Tyler mumbled suddenly, pulling back and pushing at your legs to get you to unlatch them from his body. You let your body drop free and, for a split second, you worried something was wrong, until he was pulling at your skirt and your panties, pushing his shorts away.

He ran his hand over your centre quickly like he was testing you, and then thrust into you hard and suddenly, your ass sliding backwards on the cold counter with a screetch since you didn't even have time to brace yourself.

"Mmmphsorry...sorry," he muttered, pulling you back towards him. "You okay?"

He was asking this even as he was still moving in and out of you, and you looked down to see his cock sliding in and out of you, glistening with your juices, which was super hot honestly.

" Yeah," you breathed, and you could feel him smile against you when he kissed you, your legs locking back around him and pulling him to you, your hands sliding down your back. He grasped your hair quite suddenly piling it up against your scalp. He wasn't pulling it, but really just guiding your head off to the side, really kissing you deeply, and it was all you could do to moan into his mouth, breaking away with a gasp when he found that spot high within your walls.

"Mmm..there?" He breathed into your ear, burying his head into your neck like you'd learned he did when he got close.

"Right there," you confirmed, his hands going roughly to your breast, squeezing it through your bra. The oven beeped, signaling a one minute warning until the timer went off and you both paused for just a millisecond before you started moving again.

"Don't stop," you panted, "Don't you dare stop," and he made a little strangled laugh noise, his hands falling to your ass, pulling you hard into him, his hips snapping against yours. He was cumming before you were this time, but with the friction of his pubic bone against you, his warmth spreading inside you, and the erratic movements he was making, you were tumbling over right behind him. He was panting hard against you, kissing over your chest and the swell of your breasts above your bra as you both came down.

You seemed to both become aware of the beeping timer at the same time and Tyler pulled out of you gently, and when he reached down to pull his shorts up, stumbling towards the stove, and you realized he'd never even kicked them off from around his ankles. You shifted on the counter, trying to keep all the cum from leaking out from you, while Tyler turned the timer off, holding his shorts up with one hand by his knees, and you briefly though how incredibly unsanitary this all was. He grabbed a tea towel and pulled his shorts all the way up, grabbing the pan of muffins from the oven, setting them atop the stove.

" You have to check them," you said, when you saw him going to turn the oven off.

"Hmm...?" He turned back to you and frowned a little. "You want a blanket or something?"

You nodded gratefully, because even though you still had your bra on, you were completely naked otherwise and were starting to feel exposed sitting on your counter, especially now that he had his shorts back on.

"Thanks," you said, taking the blanket he'd grabbed from the living room for you, extending it out to you.

"Yeah," he replied, shifting his weight back and forth as you covered yourself back up. "So, what do I need to do here?"

"Take a toothpick," you said, pointing to the cabinet they were in, "and stick it into the middle of one of the muffins in the centre of the pain. If it comes out clean, they're ready."

You watched as he did as you instructed, holding the toothpick up way too close to his face to check it, examining it under the light. "Is this okay?" He asked, crossing the room towards you and holding the toothpick our towards you.

"Mmhhm.. "

"They're ready?" He asked. You nodded, watching as he turned off the oven and then pulled one out of the pan, starting to unwrap it.

"Tyler, they're going to be —" you stopped as he took a bite and then opened his mouth with an 'mmm hot', "—hot"

He kept blowing on the half-eaten muffin still in his hand, grabbing another muffin and setting it atop of the blanket on your lap. "Good call on the muffins, though," he said, leaning against the counter next to you and eating more of it, licking the melted chocolate chips off his fingers, "they're delicious."

**

The drive to Tyler's mother's house was one that was so familiar to you, it was almost automatic. He'd gone up earlier in the day while you had to work, so you were driving up on your own, but that wasn't unfamiliar either. You'd offered to bring something, but everyone had insisted not to, and you'd only really had time to stop home to change after work, so you assured yourself you'd make it up next time. The front door swung open before you had a chance to knock, his mom giving you a bright, "Hi, honey."

You didn't have time to answer because you were literally swarmed by dogs, shooting her an apologetic look as you bent down to give them attention, because you were certain they wouldn't leave you alone otherwise, "Hi, hi," you said in a light voice, trying to pet every head that was being stuck in your face.

"Oh my god, you haven't seen her in two whole days," Tyler said, coming out of the kitchen, "it's so exciting."

Finally, they calmed down enough that you could stand back up, saying hello to Tyler's sisters.

"Did you do something different with your hair?" Jackie asked, "It looks nice."

"It's the same as it's been for the last three years, Mom," Tyler interrupted.

"Oh?" She sounded surprised, looking at you carefully, "Did you do something else new?"

You pursed your lips, shaking your head.

"Oh, well, you look really nice though,"she said.

"Thanks," you smiled, and Tyler took the opportunity to wrap his arm around you a side hug and say 'hello'.

"You probably just need new glasses, Mom," he said.

"Oh, Tyler, I do not!" she scolded, and he laughed loudly, but she just ignored it, "Dinner's ready, if you are."

You agreed, following her through the kitchen towards the dining room. "It smells really good in here," you commented, Tyler catching your eye and mouthing 'Out-nicing each other', causing you to shake your head. It was all going well and good, just like all times, all of you gathered around the dining room table, serving up your plates.

Until Jackie brought out a bottle of red wine, and started pouring it into the glasses set around the table. When she got to yours, however, Tyler yelled out a sudden "No!" from where he was seated next to you, grabbing the glass, and causing everyone to look at him in confusion, except for you, who was looking at him with wide eyes.

"Uh...none for her..." he said in a normal tone, "she's doing a cleanse."

You could hear Jackie chastising Tyler for not telling her, because what if she made something you couldn't eat? And then Tyler was telling her not to worry, you'd just cut out alcohol because you were showing up to work hungover too much. And one of his sister's was saying that he must have you confused with himself. And you should be saying something, anything, but you couldn't.

Because, you'd just realized, that while you'd thought about him and his future wife and kid's feelings, you hadn't thought about his family's feelings.

You hadn't even thought to ask him about it.

And they were right there, in front of you, the whole time.

And if this worked, this....your child would be a part of them, too.

How could you not even think about them?

Suddenly, you stood up pushing your chair back with a start, running towards the bathroom and slamming the door shut, emptying your stomach's contents into the toilet before you even had a chance to realize just how horribly sick you felt. Taking deep breaths, you sat back, on your heels, slowly pushing yourself up, running cool water in the sink and splashing it on your face, forcing yourself to look at yourself in the mirror. You bent down, searching beneath the sink for mouthwash, rinsing your mouth out, and then sinking slowly onto the floor, leaning against the vanity, and just breathing, trying to prepare yourself to face what would be back out there, because you were not prepared to have a breakdown at his mother's house. Not today.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door, and you froze, as if whoever was out there wouldn't know you were inside if you kept still enough.

"Can I come in?" Tyler's voice came from the other side of the door and you relaxed a little, reaching up to turn the doorknob.

He slipped inside, shutting the door behind him, standing in front of you.

"Did you throw up?" he asked, and it looked like he was smiling a little, which was weird, but you assumed it must be the angle.

You nodded and he crouched down in front of you, sticking out his hand to brush some hair back away from your face. "Do you still feel sick?"

You shook your head 'no'.

"Okay, so I'm going to take you home, okay?"

"Tyler, I can drive myself," you said, because you didn't want to ruin the whole family dinner, but he shook his head adamantly, extending a hand to help you up off the ground.

"It's already been decided," he said firmly, "My mom's packing up some food for us. We can do this again some other time."

You didn't have the energy to argue with him, so you let him pull you up from the floor. Tyler's mom came to say goodbye to you, saying that she hoped you felt better, and it was all you could do to just smile and nod, because you didn't know what was going to happen if you opened your mouth. He guided you out to the driveway, hand on your lower back, breaking away from you as the dogs circled your feet.

"I can come back for my car tomorrow," he said, and you realized that he already had your car keys in his hand, "Is it alright if the dogs go in your car, though?"

You didn't say anything, even as you were walking past his car towards yours.

"Babe?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, that's fine," you said, opening the back door and patting the back seat to encourage the dogs to jump in, shutting the door carefully behind them and climbing into the passenger seat.

"Tell me if you start feeling sick again," Tyler said, adjusting the driver's side seat, teasing, "Geez, you're so short."

You sighed, though, because Gerry was trying to climb up into the front seat as Tyler was pulling out of the driveway, you directed him in between your legs, his head finally settling in your lap, because at least you could keep him corralled that way. "He hates the backseat," you explained to Tyler, who laughed a little under his breath.

It was silent for a moment, although you kept noticing that Tyler was glancing at you out of the corner of his eye repeatedly, which was only making you more nervous.

"What are you going to tell her?" you blurted out.

"Hmm?"

"Your mom. What are you going to tell her about....?" you said, gesturing at your belly in a panic, like you were already pregnant, only because you couldn't put this whole siltation into words.

Tyler frowned at you, looking at you quickly before turning his attention back to the road, hand set on top of the steering wheel, "That's not for you to worry about."

"Of course it's for me to worry about!" you said, thrashing your hands around, "It's....I'm the whole reason why we're doing this. I didn't even think about your Mom...or your family..." Gerry was moving his head around in your legs, probably alarmed at how you were raising your voice, and you tried to lower your voice just a little, petting him to try and calm him down.

"Because it's not your responsibility to."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not," Tyler said in a softer tone, "Look, it's my body and my decision. You're not expected to think about that, or worry....any of that. That's for me to deal with."

"But...."

Tyler gave you a soft look. "I know you love them. But you can't - you shouldn't - take this all on yourself. You gotta let me own my decision."

You nodded, and it was quiet for as he turned the corner. "Are you....were you planning to tell her?"

"I was planning to....after you're..." he admitted, nodding towards your belly, his eyes flicking upwards to yours quickly, and then back to the road, "if that's alright with you?"

You nodded, because you couldn't imagine keeping something like this a secret. If you tried, one of you would probably let it slip somehow. Or, the kid would somehow look so much like Tyler that she couldn't help but notice similarities. "I just... can we not right away though?" you asked, "Like wait until the second trimester? Or once I'm showing?" The last thing you would want would be to completely rock their worlds without being 100% certain that this was happening.

"Yeah, yeah," Tyler said easily, settling his hand on your knee, "It's whatever you want."

You felt a little more relaxed, leaning your head against the door, starting to feel sleepy for the rest of the drive, keeping your eyes focused on the road, until Tyler started pulling into a parking lot. "Where are you going?"

"To get a pregnancy test," he said, nodding towards the drug store you were parked in front of now, "You threw up."

Ohhhhh. That explained why he looked happy about you being sick.

"Unless...do you already have one?"

"No," you said, "I should get one."

You expected him to stay in the car with the dogs, but he followed you into the store, trailing a few feet behind you, especially when you took a long time looking at the pregnancy tests, only because you'd never actually bought one when you wanted to result to be positive, and there was an overwhelming amount of options. Afterwards, he ask if you wanted to go to your place or his, but you figured his would be easier since you had the dogs with you. He started trailing after you there, too, following you through the house and into the bathroom as you opened the box, and you jumped a little when he shut the door behind you.

You were pretty sure that you knew how it worked, but you read the instructions over anyways, while Tyler just stood watching there, weight shifting back and forth.

"Can you, like, not watch me pee?" you asked, as he continued to stand there.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry," he shook his head, giving you a sheepish look, and then wrapped his forearm around your head, kissing you quickly on the head, "I'll just be right out there, if you need me."

He was, sitting on the bed, with his hands in his lap, leaning forward expectantly when you came out, sitting down on the bed next to you, and you pulled your phone out of your pocket, setting the timer.

"Are you?" he asked in a small voice.

"I don't know yet," you said, "we have to wait three minutes."

You both just sat there in silence, other than the noise of both of your breathing, watching the countdown on your phone. When it finally went off, you waited a couple of more seconds before you stood up, and Tyler popped up next to you, and then hung back just a little, "Do you want me in there with you?"

You looked back at him, smiling gratefully, "Yeah, yeah, you can come."

He followed behind you, and you took a deep breath, before looking at the test yourself, and then holding it up so he could see the results from over your shoulder: Not Pregnant.

"I'm sorry," he said, immediately wrapping you in his arms, pulling you to his chest. After a moment, he pulled back, looking you seriously in the eyes, hands on your shoulders, "You alright?"

"Yeah," you answered, "I didn't think it would happen right away." You didn't. Even though there was a little part of you that was a bit disappointed.

Tyler nodded, his hands still on your shoulders, "You still feel sick?"

You shook your head, heading back into the bedroom, "I think I was just nervous."

"Nervous about what?" he asked, sitting back down next to you on the bed.

"Your family," you answered.

Tyler exhaled, running his hand through his hair, looking at you softly, "You might not have thought about it, but I did. A lot," he said, "And everything's going to work out, okay? Just trust me."

You nodded softly, looking from where his hand was on your knee to him, and he smiled at you. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, I am actually," you said. Now that you thought about it, you realized you were.

"Okay," Tyler said, "Here's what we're going to do. We're going to put on some comfy clothes, and we're going to eat this dinner my wonderful mother made. And then we're going to get in bed, and cuddle up with the dogs, and watch a stupid movie. And then, in the morning, we're going to kick them out. And we're going to try again, 'k?"

"Okay," you smiled. It sounded exactly like what you needed.


	17. Chapter 17

You'd thought for sure that Tyler knew nothing about babies or pregnancy, but he was slowly proving you wrong.

Just the other night a bunch of you had been going out for dinner and someone had suggested sushi. Tyler had slowly pulled you aside, completely unprompted, asking you in quiet voice, "Can you have sushi? Because I can...."

You rested you hand on his arm, because he looked so concerned, so ready to make up an excuse for you so you wouldn't have to try and lie to your friends. "I'm not pregnant."

"You took another test?" He asked, "which day? Because you could be."

You'd shook your head slowly. "No, I'm not.. I got my period." It hasn't even surprised or disappointed you that much, actually, the tell-tale symptoms being so familiar to you that you just knew you weren't.

"Oh," Tyler had responded in a small voice, and you'd expected him to keep moving, to go back with your friends, but he's just stood there running his hand through his hair, "Do you need...can I do anything?"

You laughed under your breath. "Tyler, we've been friends for 13 years and you've never once asked me if I needed anything when I've had my period."

"Hey, I give you meds. And alcohol. And, I'm pretty sure chocolate, like twice," he said, seemingly offending at your thought of his lack of empathy. "And I'm personally invested in your menstrual cycle now. I'm sorry if that's weird, but you're just going to have to deal with it."

He wasn't lying, though, when he said he was invested. Because, a couple of negative pregnancy tests later, you'd grabbed a set of ovulation tests along with even more pregnancy tests, figuring, you might as well just hit it as hard as possible, so to speak. And he hadn't even blinked an eye the first time you'd mentioned you were ovulating.

There was a part of you that, especially when it was closing in on the end of July, was worried that there'd be tension or....something between you when you still weren't pregnant. Even though it hadn't been that long, really, based on what you had been told. But after so long of trying to not pregnant, it sort of seemed like it should happen, just like that.

But, even so, you seemed totally okay. Taking it one test at a time, one day at a time. And, when you looked at it like that, it kind of felt like you had all the time it the world.

You were still making at effort to balance things though, so when Tyler invited you to come along to Top Golf tonight, you'd said yes. Even though you hated golf.

You'd said 'hello' to everyone else, and then you sat down in the open seat next to Tyler. You were planning to just lean in to tell him, but you really didn't want to be overheard, so you'd pulled your phone out, texting him the simple message you wanted to convey 'I'm ovulating.'

You heard his phone vibrate in his pocket, right after you sent it, of course, and he pulled it out, reading it even though he was in the middle of a conversation, glancing at you just momentarily. You watched as he started to mouth the words as he read stopping after "I'm o—", one eyebrow arching. You weren't expecting his gaze to darken, nor for him to reach for your wrist, tugging it to pull you up with a quick "Wha—?" falling from your lips.

He didn't say anything, but he was definately taking you somewhere, purposefully, your sandals clicking along the floor as you struggled to keep up. He didn't slow down until you were in front of one of the single-roomed bathrooms, looking one way and then the other with his hand on the doorknob, and then he opened it and pushed you in, following after you, locking the door harshly behind you. He had you pressed against the wall, his mouth latching onto yours, kissing you hotly and desperately, his hand raising to squeeze your breast through your dress.

You raised your hand to grip at his wrist because, honestly, you were just struggling to breathe at this point. "What are you....what are you doing?"

"You're ovulating," he said against your neck, as if that explained everything, and then started to kiss and suck at the skin there, your head lolling off the the side to give him better access, and he swept some of your hair away, slotting his leg between yours.

"I meant...oh....I meant later," you said breathlessly. That had been the intention, anyway, just to suggest that it might be a good idea if you went back to his place afterwards.

He pulled back just momentarily to look in your eyes, his expression hopeful. "Now and later?"

He was asked you this even as he was pulling your hips to him, and you were grinding against his thigh, your body seeking friction even as a small part in the back of your brain was asking what was happening. "Yeah, yeah, okay," you said, and he kissed you again, but this time you could feel him smiling against your lips. He kept kissing you, tongue slipping into your mouth and you were clutching at him, even as his large hands started pushing your dress up your hips, his hand tucking into your panties, finding your clit and rubbing it. Tyler was still trying to kiss you through it, but you were pressed against the cool wall, your head slipping back as the sensations ran through your body. "Shh..." he whispered against you, his hand lifting your head, shifting to press two fingers inside you.

Your body shot up against the door and you moaned when he curved his fingers just right, finding your g-spot. "Fuck, babe, you gotta be quiet."

He didn't still his movements though, and you were biting your lip hard to keep from try and keep from crying out, because it wasn't like you were in the back of a club or anything, the music pounding. No, all you would hear beyond Tyler's breathing was the echo of voices and laughter, footsteps milling about.

You were beginning to wonder if he was going to get you off, just like this, your eyes closed, hearing the sound of his fingers against your wetness, when he pulled away, sticking his fingers into his mouth and licking them off. You were so distracted by that that you didn't notice that he'd pulled himself out of his shorts, his wet hand pushing your panties to the side, thrusting up into you in one movement, and you gasped.

"Shh....shhh...shh..." Tyler said, his one hand still holding your dress up and your hip, but his other hand roaming all over your body, and you weren't entirely sure whether he was trying to tell you to me quiet, or trying to calm you down.

"Tyler," you moaned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm right here, babe. I gotcha," he said with a flurry of breath, starting to move inside you, pressing you harder against the wall.

You were grasping onto his shoulders and then his back, feeling him warm all around you, fucking into you hard, the small room filled with the slap of skin against skin, and heavy breathing. His head had been buried in your neck, but he pulled it away, frowning at you briefly. "Mmm...no, no, don't bite....bleeding."

You became aware of the burning sensation in your lip, realized that you'd been biting down onto it hard enough that you were drawing blood, which you could taste for just a moment. And then Tyler straight-up licked your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth, and your pussy clenched around him.

"Fuck," he breathed into your mouth, " Don't...do that. Not gonna last if you do that."

His hand tucked even further up under your dress, fucking you even as he pulled the cup of your bra down, lowering his mouth to your nipple, sucking and nibbling.

"Oh God," you moaned, your muscles fluttering around him, and your leg came up around him. Tyler growled, his mouth catching yours, and you gasped, biting his lip before you could realize it. It seemed he he was only against you biting your own lip, though, because he thrust into you harder, little mewls escaping your mouth with each movement until you came hard around him, his teeth dipping into the skin of your shoulder, fucking you through it until he released, breathing your name against you.

You were shaking against each other, struggling for breath, feeling shaking on your one leg. Tyler gently released your other leg from where he'd had it grasped around him, moving back from you slowly. And, god he looked wrecked, lips red and swollen, his hair sticking up erratically from under his hat, and you could only gather that you probably looked similarly, your boob still hanging out of your dress, straps falling off your shoulders. You reached forward, gently touching his lip because it looked like he might have been bleeding but, when you looked at your finger, there was no blood.

He smiled softly at you, stepping forward and adjusting your bra, shifting your dress back into place, and then smoothing his hands down your sides as if to get out any wrinkles. He stopped, though, when he got to your hip, gathering the fabric in one hand and holding it there as he turned, fumbling with the paper towel dispenser and the sink. Then, he crouched down in front of you and all you could do was just stand there as he cleaned you up gently, fixed your panties, and then let your dress fall back over you. He stood back up, kissing you softly, his hand dropping to yours, your fingers just intertwining, and he tilted his head off to the side, "You good?"

You nodded, the voices and movement of the other side of the door seeming louder than they had just moments ago. He kissed you once more, lips lingering for a second longer and then his other hand went to the door. "Let's go." His hand dropped from yours, once you were both outside the bathroom door, his hand going to your lower back, guiding you back towards where your friends were, moving away so you could sit back down.

"Where were you guys?" Mike asked, his voice light and teasing.

"Talking," Tyler said tersely, shooting him a warning look.

"Dude, it's your turn," Mike said, nodding towards the tee and Tyler sighed, walking over there. Once he was there, distracted with setting up his stance, Mike sat down hard in the booth next to you.

"Since when are you and Tyler....?" He asked in a whisper.

"Oh, oh, we're not," you said, hurriedly, shaking your hands, "he's trying to get me –"

"-pregnant," you said, in that same whisper but Mike didn't hear it, because at the exact same time, Tyler shouted, "A Tampon!" So loudly that everyone in the whole building, it seemed like, turned to look at him.

He walked closer to the two of you, speaking at a much more reasonable volume level. " She, like, got her period and it was super heavy, or whatever, and she left some tampons in my car. I was just trying to get her a tampon," he said, "And she didn't want everyone to know, but way to go."

"Oh, I umm..." Mike said, his head turning towards you, "Sorry."

He stood up, Tyler taking the seat he'd been in next to you, looking at you smugly, and you realized that Tyler had been trying to protect you, as unorthodox as his methods might be. He didn't want you to feel like you had to share this, not until you were ready. And, for that you were grateful.

"Thank you," you mouthed, and he smiled, fucking his hands behind his head like it was no big deal. You watched, though, as he made this weird gesture, and you frowned in confusion. Finally, he leaned in and motioned at you to come closer. When you did, he whispered, "Your nipples are still hard. I can see them."

You looked down, your eyes widening when you saw that it was true, and Tyler laughed loudly, throwing his head back, attracting even more attention towards you.

**

You'd fallen into a routine.

Sex.

Food.

Work.

Negative pregnancy test.

Exercise.

Sex.

Ovulation test.

More sex.

That was pretty much it. You were sleeping over at Tyler's house most nights, because it was just easier. Sometimes you'd have sex in the evenings, but othertimes, if you were both tired, you'd strictly sleep, but would usually do something in the morning. Most days.

It felt comfortable, even though it was repetitive. As it got closer to August, you'd thought you were keeping your stress under control, but you were beginning to wonder if you were managing it as well as you thought.

Because you'd started waking up at night, feeling strangely startled, completely drenched in sweat. And, sure, it was hot and there was another body in bed with you, and sometimes three dogs as well, but it was the feeling that you couldn't shake. You'd get restless, and the air in the room would feel so hot and thick, the blankets way too heavy, Tyler's breathing too loud, that you'd have to get up, and go sit outside. At least two of the dogs would come with you every time, and you'd just sit there, mind blank, listening to the sound of the water, breathing in the cool night air, enjoying the way the goosebumps started to form on your skin until you were shivering and couldn't stand it a second longer. Then, you'd go back inside, climbing gently back into bed and trying not to wake Tyler, cuddling up with the dogs and letting them warm you back up to a comfortable temperature, falling back to sleep easily. And, once you woke in the morning, that feeling had dissipated. You'd never really had anxiety before, but you assumed this would be what it would feel like.

One night though, you'd woken, and it felt like your skin was crawling along with the fact that you couldn't breathe. You felt hot, the type of warmth you get before you're sick, but you really didn't feel sick at all. You got out of bed, walking into the bathroom and running cool water over your wrists, cupping some and wetting your neck and low back, running it around you chest. You headed to the back door with Marshall at your feet, flicking the outside light on. You were about to shut the door, but then Cash was pushing his way through, so you let him come, too. The three of you were making your way down the steps, when you heard whining and looked back to see Gerry looking through the glass door at you. You sighed, going back up to open the door. "Shhh...you gotta be quiet," you said, bending down to pet him behind the ear and he wagged his tail, you making sure to shut the door quietly to avoid making too much noise. "Don't wake up your dad because he'll be super grumpy if he doesn't get enough sleep."

It wasn't even true, but you just felt so....strangely wrattled and anxious, that just talking to the dogs about nothing made you feel an ounce lighter. You made your way down to the chairs, enjoying the way the breeze felt cool against where you'd wet your skin.

You'd sat down, staring out into the darkness of the night. The three dogs were surrounding you, and you put your leg out when Gerry got close to block him from jumping into your lap. You loved him, but you also knew his propensity for laying on you, and his heat and heaviness sounded like way too much right now. To your surprise, though, he just turned in a circle and laid down at the foot of you chair.

After what felt like it could have been either 5 minutes or half an hour, you started getting goosebumps, and you almost wished you brought a blanket with you, just to drape over part of your body. You weren't ready to go inside yet though, because your eyes weren't feeling like you couldn't keep them open any longer. Not yet.

You were feeling much calmer, though, until the sound of the door made you jump, your heart starting to flutter once more. " You guys having a party out here without me?" Tyler asked, and you shook your head as he made his way over, sitting in the chair next to you. "Can't sleep?"

"Nope."

"How come?"

"It's hot."

He looked at you, his hair covering most if his eyes, still messy from sleep and frowned, his hand brushing over your goosebump covered arm. "You're cold," he said, starting to tug the hoodie he'd put on over his head, "here."

"I'm fine," you said, reaching to touch his arm to stop him. "I...I think I'm stressed."

It came out more like a question than anything else, but Tyler's expression softened even, his hand coming over to rub your knee in some semblance of reassurance. "You want to talk about it?"

"No," you answered. Because whatever was there to talk about? And you really didn't even have anything on your mind, it wasn't like you were actively worrying. "I thought I was fine but, I..."

"Hmm," Tyler acknowledged simply, his thumb rubbing a couple of times over your skin where his hand was still set on your knee.

"You can go back to bed," you said, looking over at him, "I'm fine, really. I just needed some fresh air."

"Are you coming?" He asked.

"I'll be in in a bit," you said, even as you stifled a yawn. You had to be practically falling asleep, having to drag yourself inside, otherwise you knew you'd be wide awake, and only start sweating again.

"I'll stay," he offered, "keep you company."

"I have company," you said, gesturing to the gathering of dogs around you. You knew, of course, that he'd offer to stay. You also knew, that if he known you'd been up other nights, he'd offer to sit up with you. But, it wasn't like you were having a panic attack or anything, you'd always felt better after you sat outside for a bit.

"I can see that," Tyler said, laughing under his breath. "But I'll stay; you might need someone to fight a bear off or something."

You knew he was trying to make you laugh, to get you to relax a bit, and not argue with the motion that he was staying. But, you really didn't need him to. You were okay. You were contemplating just going back to bed with him, because you didn't want him to lose sleep over this, too, but you could just imagine him laying there, not falling back asleep until you did.

"Shooting star," Tyler said quietly, pointing upwards. You missed it though, and he settled back in his chair so you followed suit, sitting back. Neither of you spoke, other than to point out a shooting star, Tyler's hand coming to settle over where yours was resting on the armrest of your chair, after awhile. Only a few of his fingers were covering a few of yours, nothing too intense, but just like he was just trying to let you know that he was there.

After awhile though, you curled up in the chair, which was horribly uncomfortable, quite honestly, but you felt so exhausted and cold, and you would sleep anywhere, even if it meant dealing with a kink in your neck the next day. But then Tyler was nudging you, slipping his arm under your legs like he was trying to pick you up. You moaned sleepily, pushing him away, but he just laughed, and said 'C'mon," pulling you up, and you walked back into the house, half-asleep the whole time, collapsing onto the bed.

The next morning, of course, you felt fine. And Tyler didn't mention it, thankfully.

You fell back into the routine. There were a couple more of those middle of the night blips but none that had you awake as long as that one - it seemed to be the peak. Other than that, you found comfort, in the routine.

It was so familiar, in fact, that it had become automatic. That, when you walked back into the bathroom and saw the test you'd taken several hours earlier and forgotten about, when you saw the two lines from across the room, you knew it was just a trick of the light. Your heart didn't catch in your throat like you were at the top of a roller coaster, waiting for the drop. You didn't rush over there to grab it an examine it. Nope, you just walked calmly over to grab it and throw it in the trash can.

Except. Except, the second line wasn't disappearing as you got closer, as the angle changed, like it usually did. In fact, the second line seemed darker than the first, and you spun the test on the counter, thinking maybe you had it turned the wrong way but, no, no, that was right. In slow motion, your hand raised to your chest in shock, picking up the test, and taking a closer look.

"Oh my...oh my god," you breathed aloud. Even though you were frozen in place, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest, from where where your hand was settled.

The rest of your body caught up, and you set the test back on the counter, dropping to your knees and searching through your bathroom cabinet. You needed a different test. A different box. A different brand.

Finally, you found an unopened box of two digital tests, set behind your open box of ovulation tests. You tore the box open, taking it as quickly as possible, setting it on your bathroom counter, turning on the timer on your phone, which had been already set up for three minutes, having been the only thing you used the time for for months.

You walked in circles, throughout your house, counting to 180, and then to 200 for good measure, but when you looked at your phone, the three minutes weren't even half over. You continued to pace, having a renewed sense of energy, watching the countdown on your phone. When there was 8 seconds left, you walked quickly back to the bathroom, shutting your eyes and reaching out to grab the test. You took a deep breath, and then opened them, your vision instantly coming blurry.

The letters didn't take up as much space as they usually did, because the "Not" you were so used to seeing was missing. And there was a smiley face which, was, kind of ironic, really, because it didn't quite reflect the expression on your face.

You'd never really understood how people could just cry, with happiness, on the drop of a dime. But, here you were, sobbing and laughing simultaneously with joy, crouched down right there on your bathroom floor, wiping your eyes periodically so you could see the results on the test clearly. Finally, your legs started to feel shaky, so you stood up, looking at the two tests together. Your phone was right there, and you almost called Tyler, right then and there, before just grabbing your phone, and then your car keys.

You spent the short drive over there wiping at your face, because rogue tears were still falling gently from your eyes, squeezing the steering wheel and bouncing in your seat, trying to take deep breaths, because you couldn't just go in there smiling and grinning like an idiot.

You were so caught up, that you registered the fact that there were other cars in the driveway, , but you didn't put it together, walking just straight up to the door like usual. Only it was locked, not like usual. So you knocked, standing back and waiting, even though you were so excited you kind of just wanted to break down the door. Or run around the back. Maybe bang on the window.

Finally the door opened, but it wasn't Tyler standing there, and you let out a surprised "oh".

"Sorry, I don't....someone must have locked the door," Meaghan said, standing there in cut-off shorts and a bikini top, kind of swaying back and forth like she'd been drinking.

"Okay," you said dumbly, because now you were aware of the noise in the background.

"Aren't you going to come in?" she asked, ducking her head forward.

"Oh...uh...no, no, I'm fine," you said, turning to the side like you were just going to leave.

Meaghan frowned, her arm reaching out to touch you,"What are you....are you alright?"

"I'm great!" you said brightly.

"Okay," she said slowly, "Do you....do you want me to find Tyler? If you just want to wait here?"

"No, that's fine," you said. You didn't want to tell him like this, not with everyone around.

"Are you sure?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah," you said easily, "I'll just talk to him later."

Before she could have a chance to say anything else, you gave her another smile, and then walked back to your car, hearing the door shut softly eventually. You walked back to your car slowly, somehow all that excitement and energy you'd been feeling minutes ago had vanished, turning into something slower and quieter in the night air.

"Y/N! Babe! Wait!"

You turned your head and saw Tyler running towards you down the driveway and you could tell, just from the way he was panting, that he was tipsy, bordering on the edge of drunk, even though you could see your eyes.

"What's up?" he asked when he reached you, resting his hand on your arm, a glimmer of concern coming out from under the slightly dumb, glassy look in his eyes . When you didn't respond instantly, he asked, "Are you ovulating? Because we can...."

You laughed at the way the word came out, like "ov - o- you-lating", but you smiled softly, shaking your head. "No," you answered, setting your hands in your pockets, "I don't think I'm going to be ovulating for awhile."

"Huh?" he asked loudly, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"I...I'm pregnant," you said, unable to stop the smile from appearing on your face, with the first time you'd been able to say that out loud, and it felt so much more solidified and real then when you said it in your head.

You watched as the slow, goofy grin started growing across Tyler's face. "Say that again."

"I'm pregnant," you repeated, but you couldn't even get the complete word out, because then you were squealing as Tyler picked up up, spinning you in a circle, and then setting you back down on the ground gently.

"That's fantastic," he said, still holding onto you, kissing you all over the face, your forehead, and your cheeks and your chin, "I'm so, so happy for you."

He pulled back, his hands still on your shoulders, and it was all you could do to just smile back and him, because you had no words, your hand rising to wipe another tear.

"This is amazing," he continued, rocking his hands on your shoulders, "We should....we should celebrate."

"Celebrate?" you asked.

"Yeah, this is incredible, of course we should celebrate," Tyler said, "I think I have champagne somewhere? Oh, no, no, you can't drink. Oh, I'm going to drink twice as much, just for you. We should...go get ice cream sundaes! You've gotta drive, though."

You laughed at his rambling and excitement, because he looked like he already wanted to climb right into your car. "Tyler, your friends..."

He waved his hand absentmindedly towards the house. "They'll be fine," he said, "Babe, this is huge. And better than anything. We've got to do something."

"Okay," you said with a laugh, feeling lighter than anything.

"Just let me grab my wallet," he said, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the top of our head, "I'm going to buy you the biggest ice cream sundae ever. You're eating for two, now."

You laughed again, as he disappeared inside, starting to wander around the yard, looking up at the stars and smiling, feeling simultaneously content and energized, more tears sliding down your face. You paused, though, when you saw two people making out, pressed against the fence, through the side of the yard. You woudn't have given it a second thought, because you were so happy, but the girl was wearing exactly what you'd seen Meaghan wearing earlier.

Of course, just at that moment, Tyler came back out of the house, and you tried to walk over to him faster than he could walk over to you, but he was moving surprisingly fast, looking right in that direction. "Tyler," you said in a whisper, reaching out for his arm, trying to stop him.

"What?" he asked, looking in the direction you were trying to get him to avoid, "Why do you not want me to see Meaghan and...Jake? making out?"

"Because," you gave him a curious thought, "I thought you were...?"

"Me and Meaghan?" He questioned, "No, I'm not?"

"But before?"

"No," he shook his head, "I mean, she's hot. But I wasn't, ever?"

He studied you for a moment longer, and then reached out for your arm, "Why are we talking about this now, anyways? There are so much more better things we could be talking about. C'mon, let's go celebrate. This is huge."

It was huge. And you couldn't wipe that huge grin off your face.

And so you followed him to your car, and he climbed into the passenger seat, waiting until you'd gotten in and buckled your seatbelt before he turned to you, "Did you tell Danielle yet? Or your mom and sister?" he asked, "We could go pick up Danielle."

You laughed, "Tyler, I just found out. And it's late, and people have work. I'll tell Danielle tomorrow." It'd give you something to look forward to, to stretch the excitement out a little longer, to make it seem even more real.

"Oh, oh, okay," he said, nodding like that made perfect sense and he didn't know how he didn't think of it himself. "Sorry, I'm just super hyped."

You laughed under your breath, backing out of the driveway, "I know. Me too."

He was quiet for a few moments as you drove, and then said, "You're gonna be a mom," he said. "You are a mom."

You couldn't even answer him, your bottom lip quivering, tears starting to roll down your cheeks again.

"You're pregnant," he said confidently, like he'd just gotten the answer right to a question.

He was grinning widely, and, somehow, you were managing to grin back just a little bit bigger, "I am."


	18. Chapter 18

You were blissfully sick.

It was a term you coined, because you were so, so happy. But also, so, so sick.

You didn't even know it was possible to be simultaneously so happy and feel so awful at the same time but, somehow, you were still had a slight smile on your face, even though you were shifting in bed, trying to find the cool spots on your blanket. You could hear your phone buzzing from where it was somewhere in your bed, a couple times over the past few hours, but you didn't really look at it until later, when you felt like you could open your eyes.

Tyler: hey

Tyler: mama

Tyler: hey mama?

Tyler: come hang?

You smiled a little bigger, for a moment, at the fact that he called you 'mama', your eyes welling up just at that. But then you realized that he'd texted you various times over the course of several hours, you were about to text him back to let him know you were alive, at least, when name lit up your screen.

"Hey," you answered, rolling onto your back and sitting up a little on your pillows.

"Were you sleeping?" he asked, "sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay," you said, "I wasn't sleeping." You hadn't been able to for hours, actually, just laying there with your eyes clothed for a bit, watching a video on your phone or something on T.V..

"So you've just been ignoring my texts then?" he asked easily.

"Uh....I mean, I was just ignoring my phone in general."

Tyler laughed loudly in your ear. "I was just joking, it's fine," he said, making a noise like he was stretching, "So you want to come hang?"

"I'm so sick, Tyler," you said, "I'm not going to be any fun at all. I just need to...not do anything right now. Sorry."

"I know, I wasn't suggesting we do an activity or anything," he said with a laugh, "You've either been at work or in bed for days, and I thought you might want to go outside? It seemed to help a bit before."

You sighed, because you were starting to feel kind of restless, but you also didn't really feel like doing anything. And getting some fresh air did sound kind of good and, while you loved your house, his backyard was most definately better. You shifted sitting up slowly, but you still had to swallow and shut your eyes for a moment. "Yeah, I don't think I can drive over there," you said, flopping back down on the bed.

Tyler laughed under his breath, "You want me to come pick you up?"

"Would you?" you asked hopefully.

"Of course," he replied easily.

While you were waiting for him, you got up, switching the tank top you'd been wearing for a dress, considering if probably wasn't acceptable to go out in public without pants on. You went to the bathroom, fixing your messy bun to keep your hair off the back of your neck. You looked like shit, quite honestly, but you didn't care.

You waited for Tyler on your front steps, your keys and stainless steel waterbottle in one hand, a mostly full sleeve of soda crackers in the other hand, except for the one you were currently eating. Luckily, he didn't take long, and you climbed up into his car, trying to keep from spilling the soda crackers everywhere. Tyler laughed, taking the waterbottle from you and placing it in the cup holder and you took another cracker, holding it in your mouth as you buckled your seatbelt, and then started eating it properly. You were trying not to get crumbs everywhere, but it was also a goal of yours to not vomit for the 5 minute car ride.

"Are you actually that sick?" Tyler asked, glancing at you and then over his shoulder, as he pulled back out onto the road.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," he said gently.

"It's not your fault."

Tyler shrugged, both hands laid on the top of the steering wheel, "I mean, it's kinda my fault. But you did ask for it."

You laughed, stretching out your legs and letting your flip flops fall off, because everything was so hot and sweaty and sticky. "It's okay. It's a good sign."

He smiled at you, and was quiet for the rest of the short drive. Once there, you left your keys in his car, but grabbed your waterbottle and your crackers. Those were coming with you everywhere.

All three of the dogs appeared at the fence when they heard you guys, and Tyler went around the open the gate, the three of the coming up to you immediately, rubbing against your legs.

"Sorry, they're all wet," Tyler said.

"That's okay, it feels nice," It did, actually, cool against you, and you bent down as much as you could to pet them, their tails wagging.

"Hey, guys, I'm here too, you know," Tyler said after a moment, "Remember me? The one who fed you this morning and played with you for three hours?"

Cash, at least, made a half-hearted attempt to give him some attention and, now that you were on the grass, you kicked your flip flops off. The less you had to have on your body, the better.

"You want me to make you something to eat?" Tyler asked, and you shook your head, your face screwed up in disgust at the mere mention of food. "How about something to drink, other than water?"

This you considered. Because, be honest, the water was making you kind of nauseous too. "Do you still have lemonade?"

"I think so, but if I don't, I'll go get you some."

"Oh, you don't have to," you said quickly.

"Babe, you're growing a human being," Tyler said, "As far as I'm concerned, you can have whatever you want."

You knew there was no arguing with him, especially since you'd already let out that you wanted lemonade. "Could you put a ton of ice in it? Like a lot? Please?"

Your mouth felt strangely hot and dry, no matter how much you had to drink. Come to think of it, it might have something to do with the copius amounts of soda crackers you'd been eating. But a glass of super cold lemonade, perfectly sweet and sour, sounded amazing.

"Sure," Tyler said with a smile.

He went inside, while you went over to the dock, dogs trailing after you, sitting down and dipping your feet into the cool water. You set your crackers down next to you, taking one and covering the open package, warning, "Don't eat my crackers." You actually probably should have put them in a ziploc bag or a container or something but, at this point, you were just shameless. Luckily, they seemed to listen to you, walking down around you but staying away from your crackers, and you laid back on your elbows.

"Here you go," Tyler said, when he came back, setting down two glasses next to you, "Ice with a side of lemonade."

"Thanks," you said, reaching over to grab your drink, laughing because you thought he'd gotten himself something to drink too, but, no, he'd brought two glasses for you, one with what you'd ask for, and one not. "Did you seriously bring me a full glass of just ice?"

"Well, yeah, you seemed really adamant about the ice," he said, "And I didn't want to piss you off. Aren't pregnant women supposed to be really bitchy?"

You raised your eyebrow as you took a sip of the lemonade.

"Like, I didn't want to get in the middle of a mood swing," he said, already backing away and laughing like he was anticipating you hitting him.

"I'm not having mood swings," you said, calmly setting your glass down.

"Funny, that's exactly what someone having mood swings would say," Tyler said, smirking at you the whole time. You halfheartedly kicked your foot, splashing some water in his general direction, but not getting anywhere close to actually getting him.

"I should throw you in the lake," you mumbled.

"Well, you'd have to get up to do that, so I think I'm safe," he grinned, and you sighed, leaning back on your elbows again.

"I'll get your dogs to push you in," you said, considering they were still milling about around you.

"Yeah, they'd probably listen to you actually," Tyler said, with a laugh, sitting down right next to you, so close that your thighs were touching, throwing an arm around your shoulder, "I'm sorry, I'll be nice."

You immediately shrugged away, grimacing, trying to lift more of your hair off the back of your neck, even though that wasn't possible. "Sorry, could you, like, not touch me?" you said, and then grimaced even more looking at him, trying to explain, "I just feel so sick, and hot, and gross. Sorry."

"Yeah, yeah," he said lightly, scooting away from you, and you had to reach out to stop him once you could no longer feel his body heat coming off him, otherwise he'd probably keep going until he was 10 or 15 feet from you. You felt bad, because he wasn't doing anything wrong, of course, but you just couldn't handle it right now. So you reached out with your foot, in the water, entangling it with his, trying to let him know it really was the temperature and the discomfort you were feeling, not about him, and Tyler smiled back at you.

You sighed, laying down so you were on your back on the dock, your feet still in the water, shoving another cracker into your mouth and then placing your hands behind your head. "Why is it so hot?"

"Because it's summer?" Tyler asked. "And it's not, like, super hot. I think it's just you."

Well, obviously. "I didn't think the heat would bother me this soon?" you said, "Like, it's not like I'm huge or anything."

"Yeah, well you should have specified when in the summer you wanted to get pregnant," Tyler said, already smiling cockily, "because you know I'm an overachiever and would get you pregnant with another month to go."

You shut your eyes, because he looked way, way too proud of himself. "I mean, you did great too, babe," Tyler said, tapping you on the knee gently, "It was a real team effort. You definatley came in clutch there with ovulating and stuff. Great assist."

You tried not to laugh, but you didn't, and when your eyes peeked open, you say that Tyler had his fist extended towards you, waiting for you to give him a fist bump. "C'mon," he said, nodding towards his hand, and you shook your head, raising your own fist to bump against his.

"You look really proud of yourself," you said.

"Oh, I am," he said, laying down on his side and facing you so you didn't have to crane your neck to look at him. "And I know you did stuff too, but this is kind of all I can contribute and you have to do all the hard shit anyways, so if you could just let me have this, I would appreciate it?"

You laughed, but then next second tears were forming in your eyes, looking at him, because you didn't think he could ever know how much this meant to you. "Thank you," you whispered.

"What?" he said softly back, his bottom lip quivering, even as his thumb reached out to brush your tears away, "You don't have to thank me. This is the best thing I've ever gotten to be a part of."

"Yeah, I do, like, you don't even have to ever get me another gift ever again. This is the best," you said, your hand resting lightly over your belly. There was a baby in there, "Thank you."

"Stop that, I think you've got way too many hormones in you," Tyler said, sitting up, and you're pretty sure you say him inconspicuously wipe at his cheek, taking a deep breath and then looking back at you, "But you're right. I'm not ever going to buy you another gift because I'm going to be too busy spoiling the shit out of your kid."

"You better not," you said.

"Watch me," he grinned. He looked back down over you, still in that position of laying on your back across the wood planks of the dock, feet dangling in the water. "That looks terribly uncomfortable. Want me to get you a chair or something?"

You shook your head, "I'm really comfortable actually." More comfortable than you'd been all day, actually.

"What?" Tyler said in his dog-voice, and you heard the sound of paws jumping, "You want to go swimming again? Let me find you a stick."

You felt him get up and walk off the dock and you shut your eyes, just relaxing, starting to feel a breeze across your skin, even as you heard footsteps coming back, and then a foot nudging at your head. "Lift up," Tyler said, and you squinted your eyes open, doing so, a pillow being slid under your head.

"Thank you," you smiled. Because this was perfect, really.

You shut your eyes again, listening to the sounds of Tyler talking to his dogs, and the splashing of the water, and quite often a dog laying down panting right next to you. The dogs kept shaking off over top of you, sending water all over you and, at first, Tyler was trying to get them to stop, probably because you were squealing and covering your face, but it actually felt really refreshing, especially since there was no way you were actually swimming. Other than that, you relaxed, except for the fact that the dogs would sometimes try to drop their sticks right on top of your face, and you'd have to either toss it in yourself or hold it up so Tyler could get it, but you didn't mind one bit.

After awhile, the splashing and the footsteps slowed down, and Tyler came back, sitting next to you. Or, rather, he tried to, until Marshall pushed his head hard between your bodies, and Tyler had to put a hand down to keep from tipping over, moving out of the way. Marshall made a groaning noise, and then laid down beside you. "Jesus Christ, dude, " Tyler said, patting him on the side, "Like, I get that you want to be close to her, but ask nicely."

You laughed, and then noticed that Tyler was squinting over you, "Do you think they know you're pregnant? You're, like, surrounded," he said, and you looked around to see that, indeed, you were, "Like, I know they like you, but this seems more excessive than usual, doesn't it?"

You shrugged, "That one definately does," you said, pointing at Gerry, "I'm not sure about the others."

"Him? But he's the..." Tyler questioned, lowering his voice to a whisper and leaning over Marshall towards you, "He's the stupidest one of them all. Are you sure?"

"Positive. He won't get in my lap anymore. See watch," you said, "Gerry?"

Gerry's head lifted at the sound of his name, and you patted the tops of your thighs, "C'mere. Come cuddle."

He stood around you, his paws practically dancing around your body like he didn't know quite what to do, finally standing near your head, leaning down to lick all over your face.

"Huh," Tyler said in disbelief, his hands coming over to pet him, "Good boy. I always knew you were so smart."

You shook your head, laughing and Tyler sighed, leaning back, "I should make something for dinner. You want anything?"

You held up your bag of crackers.

"That's it?" Tyler said.

"It's the only thing I can keep down right now," you admitted. "Well, there's something I want, but I'm not sure what it is. You know?"

"No, I don't know," Tyler frowned, "Is it going to be like this the whole time?"

"It's supposed to get better in the second trimester," you said.

"When's that?"

"I don't know because I don't know how far along I am. I have an appointment next week and I'll find out then."

"Oh," Tyler said in a small voice, "I could come with you, if you want?"

"Oh, I think Danielle is going to come."

"Well, I probably won't be able to come to any of you other appointments," Tyler said, picking at a chip of paint of the wood, tossing it into the water.

"That's okay," you said, "Danielle will probably come with me to all the big ones, and sister said she'd come, too. But I don't need someone to come with me to every single appointment. This one's just going to be super long because it's my first one and I don't want to get overwhelmed with information."

"I can still come."

"Tyler, it's going to be really long. I have to get weighed and measured, and there's blood tests, and urine tests, and an ultrasound, and everything to discuss."

"Babe, I literally jacked off into a cup with the nurses there who gave the damn cup and clearly knew what I was doing in a room where probably hundreds of men have done the same thing to help you have a baby. I think I can handle a long appointment," he said, and then added, "I mean, I want to come and support you."

"Of course you can come," you said, "I'd love for you to come."

"Good, Danielle and I can stand in the corner and cheer you on while you pee in a cup."

"Okay, you're not allowed to come if you do that."

Tyler laughed, "You said you get to have an ultrasound though? You get to see the baby?"

"Mhhmm," you smiled, "We probably won't be able to hear the heartbeat because it's too early, but we should be able to see it."

"That's so cool," Tyler said, stilling for a moment and then standing up, "You sure you don't want something to eat? Soup? Noodles? Ice cream?"

You shook your head, disgusted at each one. "Just crackers." You were actually beginning to wonder if they sold these at Costco. They must, right? Because you definitely needed that. But, you wouldn't even be mad if you had to go to the grocery ever single day for the next nine months just for soda crackers. And lemonade.

"Okay," Tyler said, starting to walk away, saying to the dogs, "You guys hungry? C'mon!"

They didn't move from around you though, just lifting their heads and staring at him.

"Okay, I guess I'll bring you your dinner outside then," Tyler said, walking away. They did, however, get up and follow you as you took it upon yourself to light a fire while Tyler was busy, pulling two chairs around so you could sit in one and put your feet up in the other, Tyler glancing at you from the BBQ the whole time, like you now couldn't even pull two chairs by yourself. You sat down, getting comfortable, laying back and shutting your eyes a little bit, finally the perfect temperature.

After awhile, Tyler came to sit next to you, the sound of him crunching in your ear. It wasn't really annoying, though, and you turned, seeing him eating potato chips with a burger, just the crunch being appealing.

"You want one?" Tyler asked, extending the plate towards you, and you took one, tentatively eating it, with him watching you carefully. "How is it?"

"Good," you said, taking a sip of your lemonade, which made it even better, "It's salty and sour, it's a good combination."

"Okay," he said, looking at you like you were crazy. "You can have more."

You shook your head.

"Babe, I can get more from inside, take them if you want to eat them."

"I want to make sure I don't throw up first," you said. But, luckily you didn't, taking more chips from Tyler's plate until he eventually went inside and got you a whole bowl of your own, along with more lemonade. So now there were two things you could eat.

"Was that the thing you wanted?" he asked.

"No," you said, "I still don't know what that is."

"Well, good luck figuring that out," he said with a laugh. It was weird, it was like a craving on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn't quite identify what it was. But, for now, you were enjoying your potato chips quite happily, just enjoying the peace of the evening. It was quiet, neither of you really talking much, and you let your head rest back, looking up at the stars and getting lost in thought.

"You know," Tyler said softly, "Next summer, you're going to be sitting out here with a baby."

You turned your head slowly to the side where he was seated behind you, facing the fire while you were stretched out, smiling, "I was just thinking the same thing.


	19. Chapter 19

You felt like you were supposed to be nervous. It was a big deal, you knew, to get your first ultrasound done. And, yet, you weren't worried.

You were confident that you were both pregnant and healthy. The symptoms you were continuing to experience were a pretty great sign, too.

But you were anticipating, glancing at the clock in the corner of your computer, until you could leave without being horrifically early.

There was a soft knock against the door frame and you frowned, popping your head up, because you definately did not have anything else scheduled for the day, and you were really just killing time trying to finish up a couple of things before you left for your appointment. But then Tyler's head poked around the corner, leaning into your office.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, "I thought we were meeting at the doctor's?"

"Yeah, but," he looked out behind him, as if to make sure there wasn't someone in the outer offices who could hear him. But it was the middle of August; the office administrator wouldn't even be back full-time until next week, and everyone else was in their own offices, "You find it hard to drive when you feel sick. So, I thought I'd pick you up."

"I'm okay, Tyler," you said, "I managed to drive to work."

"I know," he said, flicking his keys in his hands, "But, I figured, the less you have to drive the better, right?"

You shrugged your head, in a way to indicated agreement. "Thanks."

"'Course," he said, stepping forward into your office and grinning mischievously, quickly turning that picture of you and the dogs to face outwards, as he always did and you smiled, thinking that you could probably get another frame for the ultrasound picture you'd be getting after today. That one, that one you would definitely not permit to turn around, that'd just be for you. You probably wouldn't have it out at work like that right now, but you'd already had to tell several of your co-workers you were pregnant to explain why you were vomiting so frequently at work.

"You ready to go?" Tyler asked, and you nodded, grabbing your purse, which was just mostly full of crackers at this point, anyways.

You decided to take his car, only so he wouldn't have to adjust the the seat and mirrors in your car.

"How're you feeling?" Tyler asked once he started the car.

You answered by opening your purse, pulling out another cracker, and shoving it in your mouth, and Tyler laughed. "You figure out what you want to eat yet?"

You shook your head, "Almost, I think." You were definately getting closer. You knew it was something with cheese, for certain. But you'd tried a cheeseburger, which wasn't quite right. Tortilla chips with cheese was closer, but still not there. You'd even done poutine, which seemed good at the time, but still wasn't what you were really craving. You were still nauseous, but you were also kind of hungry at the same time, like you had a pit in the bottom of your stomach, and you just knew that this thing would satisfy it. Once you figured out what it was.

"Are you, like, nervous...or anything?" Tyler asked, and you looked over at him.

"Should I be?"

Tyler shrugged. "Don't ask me."

You looked out the window, because now you were kind of getting nervous that you weren't nervous.

"I don't think there's a right way you're supposed to feel," Tyler said, patting you gently on the knee, "I just wanted to make sure you weren't freaking out."

You shook you head, "No, I feel," you looked out the window, "I just feel excited."

Tyler glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. "Good," he smiled, "I think that's a really great way to be feeling."

It was quiet for the rest of the drive, other than you giving Tyler directions, because you'd looked up the way to the office probably about 10 times last night. Until you pulled into the parking lot, and he spotted Danielle's car. It looked like she was typing away on her phone, probably just waiting for you to arrive, and you thought he was just going to pull into the open space next to her, but honked the horn, and your hand flew to your chest in alarm, followed by Tyler's loud laughing. "Jesus christ," you mumbled.

"Oh, did that scare you, too?" Tyler asked, and then started laughing even louder as he pulled into the parking spot. Danielle was bent over, picking her phone up, which she'd stopped when he'd startled her, but when she sat back in her seat, she glared directly at him. Tyler just grinned, wagging his fingers in a wave.

"You're such an asshole, sometimes," Danielle said, when you'd all gotten out of your vehicles.

"I was just trying to say 'hello'," Tyler said, even though he was still laughing, "Not my fault you're jumpy."

"I almost peed myself," you said through your teeth.

Somehow that made Tyler laugh even louder, "Okay, I wasn't trying to scare you," he said, "That was just a bonus."

"So you were trying to scare me, then?" Danielle challenged.

"Uh...I'm sorry? I love you guys?" Tyler said, putting an arm around each of your shoulders, pulling you into him, letting your go so you could walk, but not before he took of your hands and one of Danielle's hands, swinging them between you as you took a few steps towards the building, finally dropping them before you crossed the street. "Y/N, I'll try not to scare you while you're pregnant. But, Danielle, you're not off the hook."

"I need to get pregnant," she mumbled.

"Well," Tyler said, reaching to open the door for both of you, "I might know a guy."

"Oh my god," you said under your breath, walking away from them and going to check yourself in. The appointment wasn't actually as long as you thought it would be, considering how you'd already had genetic testing done and gone through all the run-through with prenatal vitamins and other precautions. You just hoped that, in the paperwork that was sent over from the clinic, it didn't mention that you hadn't had the IUI done for several months, because that would be super awkward. However, the nurse that took your weight and did all your tests, didn't mention anything.

"Alright," the nurse said, shuffling her papers, "So we're going to do an internal ultrasound in the room just next door. You can head over there and get changed into a gown, and the doctor and your....people will be in in a moment."

"Okay," you said, taking a deep breath as she left the room, because this was the moment you've been waiting for. "I guess I'll see you guys in there."

"You want us to come, right?" Tyler asked.

You smiled, nodding, "This is going to be the best part."

As soon as you turned your back to leave the room, you heard Tyler ask in a loud whisper, "What does internal mean?"

"It means in her vagina," Danielle whispered back.

"Why the hell didn't she just say that?" Tyler said in a normal voice, "'Internal' sounds horrible. Jesus christ."

You were laughing under your breath as you went into the next room, shutting the door and shedding your clothes, folding them and placing them in the chair on the corner that you assumed was for that purpose. You put the gown on, sitting yourself on the bed and pulling the sheet over your legs. You sat there, counting to 60 twice, and now you were starting to feel anxious because you were in there alone, not focusing on anything, and you could hear Tyler and Danielle talking in the next room. So, you leaned over, tapping against the wall.

"What?" you heard Tyler ask.

"Can you guys come in here?" you asked, "Please?" You really didn't even care if everyone in the whole damn doctor's office heard you. You weren't going to sit around, legs jiggling in excitement, by yourself.

The door slipped open a few seconds later and they both slipped in, shutting the door behind them, and you tried to keep your legs shut as much as possible, the sheet still draped over you. You had also just assumed you'd have a regular ultrasound on your belly, you weren't really anticipating having your pants off, and the whole thing felt kind of awkward. Especially because there'd be three people in the room with you, all wearing pants.

"I really like your outfit," Tyler said with a quirk of his brow, and you laughed, both him and Danielle coming up to stand by your head.

"Does it seem like the doctor's taking a long time?" you asked. "I feel like I've been sitting here by myself for ever."

"Babe, it hasn't even been two minutes," Tyler said, squeezing you on the shoulder.

"And we're here with you now," Danielle added.

It had been fine, when the nurse was asking you questions or doing something, but now you felt like you were just waiting, and it didn't help that the ultrasound screen was right next to your head, blank. "I just wish she would hurry up."

Sure enough, the knock on the door sounded and your heart skipped a beat, until you felt both Tyler and Danielle looked at you, and you realized you were supposed to call out 'come in'.

"Y/N?" she asked, shutting the door behind her and shifting the papers she'd been looking to one hand, sticking her arm out to shake your hand, "I'm Dr. Stevens."

"Y/N," you said, even though she clearly already knew your name, and then realized she was turning her gaze to the people behind you, "This is my friend Danielle, and –"

"Tyler," Tyler said, leaning forward to shake her hand after she'd shaken Danielle's, "Friend slash sperm donor."

You blinked, wanting nothing more than to just pull the sheet up over your face. She'd probably thought he was making....well, a dad joke, had the information in your file not said otherwise.

"Okay, great, nice to meet you all," Dr. Stevens said brightly, like she encountered this kind of thing everyday. And maybe she did, "It's great to see you've got support, because you are definately pregnant. Congratulations."

"Thank you," you smiled, as she set the test results down on the table.

"Everything else looks great, so let's see if we can take a peek at this little nugget," she said, shuffling around with putting some gloves on and getting the equipment ready. "And when was your last period?"

"Umm.." you started, getting a little frazzled as she was moving between your legs, because you were trying to relax. "June. No, July...July..."

"July 2nd," Tyler said quietly from behind you, and you snapped your head back in surprised, him looking down at you, "It was the day after Canada Day, right?"

"Yeah, Yeah," you confirmed, "that's right."

"Deep breath," the doctor prompted, and you tried to take one, even though you were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Tyler had remembered when your last period was, and you hadn't. You felt a hand cover yours, fingers lightly intertwining, and you looked back to see Tyler smiling lightly down at you, before you turned your attention back to the doctor, and then the screen.

"Okay," Dr. Stevens said, turning the screen so you could see better, "So that's the sac, right there, and that's the embryo, right there. And there's the heartbeat."

Your eyes centered in on the flicker in the middle of the screen, tears prickling at your eyes, your hand gripped at the sheets, and you could feel Tyler's hand flex over yours.. "That's inside me?" you said on an inhale.

"Yes," she said with a bit of a laugh, "Everything looks perfect. I'm just going to take some measurements."

"Yeah, okay," you said, noncommittally, your eyes focused on the screen and nothing else. You could feel Danielle's hand on your shoulder, leaning over to take a closer look, your hand going to your mouth with just pure emotion, gentle tears falling down your cheek. Tyler's hand came up, brushing your tears away, and you looked back behind you. Danielle eyes were focused on the screen, her eyes looking glassy, but Tyler was just looking right at you, his eyes focused on you, and you didn't even think he'd looked at the screen. You nodded your head towards it, and then looked back, because it was amazing.

"That's it?" Tyler said suddenly, "It looks like a blob."

You were pretty sure all three of the females' heads in the room turned to look at him slowly, you biting your lip to try not to laugh.

"Sorry, sorry, I mean, it's a really cute blob," Tyler said quickly, his hand smoothing back your hair, "I guess, I just thought it would look more like...a baby."

Dr. Stevens laughed from the foot of the exam table. "That'll happen," she said, "So, you're measuring about 7 weeks, which works out right with your last period, and puts your estimated due date at April 19th."

"Okay," you said, your voice still light with wonder, " Can you write that down for me, please? I don't think I'll remember."

"It'll be on your ultrasound pictures," she said with a light laugh, and you could already hear the sound of the printer, as she slid the wand out of you, and you shut your legs again. "Both you and baby are right on track, and the office will call you to set up your next appointment for 4-6 weeks. Did you have any other questions or concerns?"

"No," you said, shaking your head, "I don't think so."

"Great," Dr. Stevens stood up, gathering up the ultrasound pictures and handing them to you, and then going to pick up your chart, turning to leave the room. "I'll see you at your next appointment."

"She's been really sick," Tyler said suddenly.

Dr. Stevens turned back around, addressing you. "Well, it usually improves by the second trimester. What's most important is that you stay hydrated. Are you able to keep down fluids?"

You nodded. That, you seemed to have no problem with, "I just can't eat much."

She gave you a sympathetic smile. "I can prescribe you a medication to help with the nausea that's safe for the baby. It can make you feel pretty tired, but if you're feeling quite sick, it's a good option."

" I'm not sure if I want to take medication," you said.

"Could you prescribe it and she can take it if she wants?" Tyler asked.

" Yes, of course, it's be on an as-needed basis anyways," Dr. Stevens said, "And it's very safe should you feel you need to take it."

"Okay," you said, "that sounds like a good idea."

"Okay," she said, writing out the script, "We'll check your weight at your next appointment to make sure you aren't losing too much weight, but definately call before then if the medication isn't helpful, or if things get worse. There are lots of options we can discuss."

"Okay," you said, taking the prescription from her. "Thank you."

"Of course," she smiled, "Have a great rest of your day, guys."

She slipped out of the room just like she'd come in, and you sat up a little more.

"I've got to go back to work," Danielle said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, "but thanks for letting me come, that was amazing."

"Of course," you said. You couldn't fi¥figure out why both her and Tyler seemed to continually thank you for letting them come, when you were the one who should be thanking them.

"See ya Dani," Tyler said, and then to you, "I'll wait for you out there, 'k?"

You nodded, waiting until the door was shut before you got up, getting redressed. You went to pick your prescription and the ultrasound pictures up from where you left them on the bed, staring at them because you were just in complete awe. The tears started falling again, and you sat down in the chair, leaning forward and just sobbing.

"Y/N?" You heard Tyler's voice from the other side of the door, followed by a gentle knock, and you realized you'd been in there for awhile, because it was like nothing else mattered.

The door open slowly, and then shut with a can't eatbang. "Fuck, babe, what's wrong?" Tyler came over, crouching down in front of where you were seated in the chair, his forearms laid across the tops of your knees, and you shook your head. Because nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong at all.

"Was it because I called your baby a blob?" He asked, his hands sliding up and down your legs a bit. "Because I didn't mean it like that. I just thought it was going to look different for some reason? I don't know."

"No" you said with a sniff, "that was funny."

His head tilted off to the side, his expression soft, eyes locked on yours. "Why are you crying then?"

"Because I'm so happy," you said, "you don't know how long I've wanted this for."

"Yeah, I do," Tyler said, quietly, his thumbs rubbing circles on the sides of your knees, "you've talked about it for as long as I've known you. It's always been 'when i have kids..' with you. And now it's happening."

Your gaze dropped from his, to the ultrasound photos in your lap, your hand resting on your smile, eyes welling with tears again. "We made this," you whispered.

"I know," Tyler smiled back at you, leaning towards you slightly to smooth your hair back, placing a kiss on your forehead, and then his hands settling on the side of your chair. "You alright?"

You nodded, and he stood back up. "C'mon, let's get out of here."

You followed him out of the office and back to the car, your pictures and the prescription clutched in your hand the entire time, and you kept looking at it. You didn't even realized that Tyler had grabbed your purse until you were back in his car, and he set it on your lap.

"You want me to take you to get your prescription?" Tyler asked.

"No, not right now," you said, suddenly even more grateful that he'd driven you, because you were in such a daze that you really didn't think you'd even be able to concentrate on the road, and you looked over at him. "Thank you for coming with me."

"Of course," Tyler said, taking his hand off the wheel to pat your knee, "It was awesome."

You smiled, taking your phone out of your purse, arranging the pictures on your lap so you could take a photo of them.

"You want to just go back to my place and go get your car later or tomorrow or something?"

"Sure," you said, not even looking up from where you were now choosing the best picture to send to your sister. Although she'd been really hesitant at first about the whole idea, even since you'd told her you were pregnant, she'd been nothing but supportive.

"Are you even listening to anything I'm saying?" Tyler asked, glancing at you with a laugh.

"Yeah, we're going back to your place," you said, but then your sister texted you back, a series of hearts and kissy emojis, followed by, 'Wish I could have been there'. You sniffed again, your hand coming up to wipe at your eyes. Again.

Tyler made a clicking noise with his tongue against his teeth, "Awe, babe, don't start crying again."

"I can't help it."

"Will you stop if I buy you a donut?" he asked, and you shook your head, laughing, "Ice cream?"

"No, no sweets. I want something savory " you said. You actually felt kind of hungry, but also kind of sick, so you opened up your purse, and went back to your crackers.

"Pizza?" Tyler asked, and that sounded good for about 5 seconds, and then you shook your head again. "Okay, so how do I get a pregnant woman to stop crying then?"

You shrugged, because it wasn't like you'd done this before. "I don't think I'm crying because I'm pregnant," you said, "I'm just emotional."

"Uhhh...." Tyler ground out, "I think you're a little hormonal, too? I should have asked the doctor how I get you to stop crying."

You would have smacked him had he not been driving.

Luckily for him, your phone starting ringing just had he pulled into his driveway, Nicole's name flashing across your screen. "Hey," you answered, gathering your stuff and climbing out of the car.

"How are you?" she answered in a bright voice, and you could hear the smile in her voice, "How was it?"

"It was amazing, Nic, everything was perfect," you said, following Tyler to the front door, as he unlocked it, and then the door swung open hard, all three dogs swarming you while you were still walking up the steps, and you made a squealing noise. It would have been fine if it had just been one dog, but all three of the were bouncing off your from various directions, and it was tough to anticipate. Tyler's arm reached back to steady you.

"Jesus Christ, guys," Tyler said, "You're supposed to protect her, not try to knock her over."

"What's happening?" Nicole asked from the phone, as you stepped inside, sitting down to take your shoes off.

"The dogs," you said.

"Let her breathe," Tyler said firmly, trying to grab all three of their collars at once, and then slipping back into his soft dog voice, "Yeah, the baby's healthy. I know you wanted to come, but dogs aren't allowed at the doctor's office. It's lame."

You laughed under your breath, walking through the house to go to the back, which was kind of becoming your favourite place to be, especially as things quieted down at the end of the summer, as the usually did, before Tyler left.

"Did Tyler come with you?"

"Yep."

"Well, that was really nice of him," Nicole said, and you could tell that she was genuine. You were sisters, you could always tell when she was lying, even if it was over the phone.

You glanced back over your shoulder at him, even though your three shadows were separating you from him, all following you. "Yeah, it was."

You walked outside, walking through the grass, sitting in a chair, the ultrasound and prescription still in your hand.

"And everything was good, you said?"

"Yep," you confirmed, petting Gerry's head as he settled it across your knees, "Hi, Hi."

Tyler sat down a couple of chairs over from you, clearing his throat loudly and then trying to get the dogs' attention by clapping his hands, finally sighing dramatically and then moving to the chair next to yours, so he could actually pet them.

"Hi Nicole!" Tyler yelled, "Your niece or nephew is super cute!"

You laughed, chatting with your sister about your appointment, and your due date, and when your next ultrasound would be because she wanted to come with you, until you heard your sister mumble, "Shit."

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, I just almost burnt the toast for my shrimp sandwich."

Toast. Crispy bread. That was it.

"Hey, Nic, I gotta go."

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah," you said, "I just gotta make something to eat."

You said your goodbyes, looking over at Tyler. "Do you have bread? And cheese?" you asked, "And butter? And mustard?"

"Uh, I think so?" he said, "What are you...?"

"I know what I want to eat," you said excitedly, standing up, looking at the ultrasound pictures and prescription still in your hand, "Can you hold these for me?"

"Sure," he said, taking them from you.

The dogs followed you, of course, but so did Tyler because, as he claimed, he was now super curious about what it was you were wanting to make. Once inside, you pulled out a pan from the drawer, setting in on the stove, gathering all the necessary ingredients with the dogs underfoot. It was really cute, how they were following you around, actually, but there were so many of them, and you were worried you were going to step on a paw or something.

"Yeah, guys, I'm pretty sure it's not a good idea to get in a pregnant woman's way when she's hungry," Tyler warned them, and you glared briefly at him, buttering the bread, "See, look, she looks like she wants to kill me."

You ignored him, adding the cheese. It had barely even started cooking, and already it smelled amazing. But you wanted it cooked perfectly golden brown, and it would be an added bonus if some of the cheese melted over and crisped up. While it was cooking, you slipped the dogs pieces of leftover cheese.

"That's what you wanted?" Tyler said, "Just a grilled cheese?"

You shook your head, because you hadn't even gotten to the best part. You took the sandwich out of the pan, cutting it into four pieces, and then pouring yourself a glass of lemonade. Only then did you get the mustard from the fridge, adding some to your plate for dipping.

"What are you doing?!" Tyler exclaimed, like you just wrecked everything. But you grinned, gathering up your plate and glass, because you wanted to enjoy this in the best location. All four of them trailed after you back outside, and you sat sideways in your chair, so your legs were hanging over the armrest, plate in your lap, letting your lemonade on the armrest of the chair behind you. And then you broke a piece of the grilled cheese, dipping it in the mustard, and then putting it in your mouth, letting your eyes slide shut as you tasted it. It was better than you imagined.

When you opened your eyes to get more, Tyler was staring at you, looking absolutely disgusted.

"I'm so happy right now," you said, dangling your legs and eating more. The dogs were looking at you expectantly, but you certainly were not sharing.

"I mean, I'm glad you're happy," Tyler said, "But you're making me feel sick now."


	20. Chapter 20

One thing that you'd discovered about your pregnant self, was that your body really, really liked water. Whether it was dipping your toes in the lake or relaxing in your tub, you were usually pretty content when part of your body was touching water.

Your phone vibrated, and you reached over to look at it.

Tyler: Whatcha doing?

You: Taking a bath.

You set your phone back down, grabbing your book, and getting comfortable once again. You'd read about 5 more pages when you jumped at the sound of your front door opened, but you relaxed when you hear the unmistakable noise of dog's nails clicking along hardwood floor.

You tensed again, however, when the bathroom door opened, and Tyler and all three of his dogs just waltzed right in.

" What are you doing?" You exclaimed. You had a bath bomb in, not bubbles, so it wasn't even like there was anything covering you at all.

"Coming to hang out with you," he said.

" I'm in the bath," you said tersley.

"I know," he said, "We were out for a walk and they said they wanted to come see you, so I texted you to see if you were home."

"The dogs said they wanted to come see me?"

"Mhmm," Tyler crossed his arms, leaning back against your bathroom counter. " And there's three of them and only one of me, who am I to argue?"

He was looking at you, and you slid down a little further into the tub, even as the dogs kept stocking their noses over the sides, "I'm not dressed."

"So? I've seen you naked before ," he said easily, an eyebrow raised like he didn't know what the big deal was. And then he gasped dramatically, bending over to try and shield all the dogs' eyes with his hands.

"Yeah, they saw me naked way before you did," you said with a laugh.

"Unfair," Tyler said with a pout, "Also, they're way too young to see boobs."

You rolled your eyes, pointing to counter behind him, "Can you hand me that towel?"

"You're getting out?" He asked, "Why? You look comfy."

"Because you said you wanted to hang out."

"We can hang out in here," Tyler shrugged.

"You want to hang out in my bathroom while I'm taking a bath?"

"If you're comfy, sure," he said, taking in the way your legs were crossed and your body was curved in on itself. "You know, I can get naked too if it makes you more comfortable." He started miming like he was going to take his shirt off.

" No!" You said in alarm. You were already feeling sick enough that your own naked body was disgusting you. You didn't need anymore nudity.

Tyler laughed, sitting down on the bathmat you had under the sink and crossing his legs at the ankles, resting back on his hands, Marshall and Cash flopping down beside him.

"Can you close the door at least?" you asked, "You're letting all the steam out."

Tyler laid on his back so he could push the door shut with his hand, and then sat back up. Gerry, however, still had his head leaning over the side of the tub, and began lapping at the water.

"Out," you said firmly, pushing at his chest, mainly because you weren't entirely sure what was in the bath bomb, and didn't really want him consuming that.

"Gerry, don't drink that," Tyler said, pulling at his collar.

"You should get them water."

"They're not thirsty," Tyler said, sitting back, "Why do you have stuff floating in the water?"

"It's seaweed," you said, laying back and letting your eyes close halfway.

"Seaweed?" Tyler questioned, and you didn't even have to look at him to know he was frowning in confusion.

"It was in this bath bomb with lavender and lemon that's supposed to be good for headaches."

"Oh," Tyler said, and then in a softer voice, "You have a headache? Sorry, are we bugging you?"

You shook your head, "No, it's better now." Even though having Tyler and three large dogs shoved in your bathroom with you was a bit much.

"Have you been drinking lots?" he asked, "Of water, not alcohol."

"Uh...I had lots of lemonade," you said, "But my sister sent me all these herbal iced teas that are flavoured like mojito and sangria, and there's a peach one too. Actually, a pink lemonade one and there's something with pineapple that's really good, too. And no caffeine or anything, so it's just like drinking water. I really like them."

"Yeah, because I couldn't tell from the way you just went on about them," Tyler said sarcastically.

"Well, plain water makes me sick, and I have to drink something, so I was excited."

Tyler gave you an amused smile, "Did you eat anything today?"

"Potato chips."

"Real food," he huffed.

"Well, I made an acai bowl this morning that looked really good," you said, and Tyler looked hopeful, "and then I started eating it and I threw up." His expression dropped.

"Do you want me to make you a grilled cheese?" he asked.

"Would you?" you asked hopefully. It was kind of the only thing substantial that you could keep down.

"Yes," he said with a bit of a laugh, pushing himself up off the floor, opening the door and shutting it behind him, leaving you in the bath with three dogs staring at you.

"Tyler?" you called, and the door popped back open, and he stuck his head on, looking at you questioningly. "Can you leave the door open a bit in case they want to get out?"

"Yeah, they're not going anywhere if you're here," he said, shutting the door behind him.

You fixed your hair, setting your head back and relaxing once more, and ignoring the crashing sounds that seemed to be coming from your kitchen. After only a few minutes, Tyler stepped in carrying a bowl of water, setting it down in the corner. Gerry sniffed it, but seemed unimpressed when he realized it wasn't food. "Told you they weren't thirsty," he said, flashing you a smile.

"Don't burn my sandwich," you warned, taking a sip of your lemonade.

"Don't worry, I got it covered," he said, leaving the room again, even though you were pretty sure you heard him mumble a 'shit' from the other room.

"You're so lucky your dad doesn't have to cook your food," you said to the dogs.

"What was that?" Tyler said as the door swung open again, and he handed you a plate.

"Mmmnothing. Thanks," you said, taking the plate, looking down at it, and laughing. He'd cut the sandwich into four pieces, drawing smiley faces on each with mustard, and it looked like he tried to make ears or something with potato chips. Well, except for one, "Why does this one have a sad face?"

"Because it makes me sad that you're putting mustard on grilled cheese," Tyler replied.

You laughed, picking up a piece and looking at the thick layer of cheese, "Oh my god, how much cheese did you put on this?"

"It's got calcium, it's good for you and baby," he said, adding firmly "Eat it."

You did as he said, enjoying it, and you saw him take his phone of his pocket out of the corner of your eye, but you thought nothing of it until he pointed in your direction, squinting. "Did you just take a picture of me?!"

"Yeah," he said noncommittally, still looking at his phone.

"What the hell, Tyler!" you exclaimed.

"What?" He asked, "It's cute. Don't you want this for memories?"

"What?" you barked.

"You, eating a grilled cheese sandwich with mustard, which is your number one pregnancy craving. You could put it in a baby book, or whatever. I'm sure your kid would love to see that one day."

"But I'm naked!" You said, "I really don't think my kid is going to want to see their mother naked after a certain point."

"Well," Tyler squinted, looking at the picture on his phone, "I bet you could put stickers over your nipples or something."

"Tyler," you said through pursed lips, "get rid of it."

"Uh..no," he said, stepping back and taking in your glare, leaning against the counter. "You're just bitch and pregnant right now. Once your mood swings the other way you'll see how adorable this is."

"Tyler..."

"Eat your grilled cheese."

You rolled your eyes but took a bite anyways, and then a deep breath. "I don't really want a naked picture of me on your phone," you said, and he raised an eyebrow in question. "I know you, and I do not want you to accidentally post a naked picture of me to your social media."

"Well, I'll have you know I have a whole folder of naked pictures on my phone and not once have I ever accidentally posted them," he said, fumbling with his phone, "But I wasn't gonna keep it anyways, I'm just gonna e-mail it to you."

He tapped at his phone a couple of times and then held it up to you to prove that it was, in fact, deleted. But then your phone pinged a familiar tone. " You sent it to my work email?!" You had sudden visions of being called down to HR and having to explain why there was a picture of you eating grilled cheese naked in the tub in your inbox.

"Ooh!" Tyler said, "I should get one with the dogs in it."

"Tyler..." you warned, just imagining him laying on your bathroom floor and trying to get all the dogs and you arranged in a photo. And you really just wanted to enjoy your snack.

" I'm sure there will be other opportunities..." he said, trailing off and looking down at the middle of the tub, right below where you were holding the plate.

You glanced upwards, shooting daggers into the side of his head. "Can you...not stare?"

His head shot back towards yours like he just remembered you were attached to the body "I was looking at your belly, you perv," he said, going back to sit down on the bath mat.

" Why? There's nothing there."

"Yeah, there is," he replied confidentially, laying down and rubbing Cash behind the ears.

" It's just because you know I'm pregnant," you said.

"Do you pants fit?" He challenged.

"Well, I mean, I haven't really been wearing pants lately..." You said, you'd been sticking mostly to dresses. But all your other clothes seemed to fit the same.

"See?" Tyler said.

"No, it's probably just because I'm eating, or the water" you said, " I'm barely even eight weeks pregnant."

He shook his head adamantly. "It's different. Trust me," he said, putting an end to he conversation, "when do you think you got pregnant, anyways?"

"Uh...about eight weeks ago?"

Tyler rolled his eyes at you. "I meant what time."

"I don't know."

"Do you think it was that time at Top Golf?" he asked.

"I don't know, Tyler," you said, "There were a lot of times."

"Yeah there were," he said cockily, looking at you like he wanted you to give him a high five, which was just not going to happen, "I was just thinking, how cool would it be if it happened at Top Golf and your kid became an amazing golfer."

You laughed, partly in disbelief and partly in amusement. "I don't think it works like that."

"You don't know that," he said, glancing at you like he was a little bit annoyed that you would even think that, "They have those little plastic golf clubs for kids, right?"

He was pulling out his phone, and you could only assume that he was now online shopping.

"Tyler," you laughed, "the baby is the size of a blob, remember? The child's not even going to be able to walk right away, either."

"I know," he responded, "But you could sit the baby somewhere and he or she could look at them and get inspired."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"What?" he asked, "I'm not saying force the kid. Just...it'd be so cute."

"And here I thought it'd be hockey sticks you buy first."

"Damnit," Tyler mumbled, and you looked at him in question. "We should have tried to conceive the kid in an ice rink. Why didn't I think of that?"

You looked at him in disbelief.

"I'm kidding, babe, your kid's gonna be awesome no matter what," he said, "But it would be super cute. Admit it."

**

"Tyler, we have to leave in five minutes," you yelled. It was actually 10 minutes, but you were giving him a little wiggle room. You were supposed to be driving him to the airport, and you expected him to actually be ready to go by the time you arrived, but apparently he still had a few 'last minute things' to do. The plan was to take his car, only because there was no way the three dogs and all of his stuff would fit in yours. Actually, you should probably check to make sure that you had enough room to fit a car seat and a stroller sometime over the next 7 months or so. Especially if it was during the summer and you were trying to take the baby and the dogs somewhere.

"I just have to throw a few more things in the car," Tyler said, looking at where you were laying on his bed, curled up around the dogs.

"What do you need me to get?" you asked, starting to sit up, but Tyler held up his hand.

"Stay there, you're not carrying anything. Other than that baby inside you," he laughed at his own joke, leaving the room, and you laid back down, setting aside your phone because you didn't feel like watching the clock anymore. Your hands ran over the warm, furry bodies that were surrounding you, gentle caring eyes glancing at you.

Tears sprung to your eyes, because that's what it was like now that you were pregnant. Your emotions were always right there, on the surface, threatening to spill over at any moment. "I'm gonna miss you guys," you said, your voice wavering, burying your wet face in fur.

"Oh, babe, don't cry," Tyler said, and you looked up to see that he was standing in the doorway.

"I'm not crying," you said with a sniff.

"No?" Tyler quirked his lips, coming over to lay down beside you, running a finger over your cheek, "What's this then?"

"Tyler..."

"It's gonna be okay, babes," Tyler said in a light voice, and then patted the dogs, "C'mon, guys, get her. Give her kisses. Give her love."

And then, of course, you were swarmed by three dogs, standing above you all trying to lick the salty tears of your face. You were laughing, the mattress dipping as the dogs walked around you, until Tyler's hand hovered above your belly as if to protect it from being stepped on by an errant paw. And then you were crying all over again.

He looked at you, his expression softening, placing a kiss on the swell of your cheek, right were you supposed your tears were collecting. "We've gotta go," he said, but he didn't make any attempt to move, his hand coming up to swipe his thumb gently across your cheek. "You want one of them to stay with you?"

"Tyler, you can't do that..."

"Yeah, I can," he said, "Which one do you want?"

"No, you can't separate them from each other," you said, sniffling because that idea was suddenly so sad to you, "They're brothers."

"Well, I'm not leaving them all with you," he said with a bit of a laugh, "Sorry. But you can choose what one you want. And we can trade at Christmas, or whatever."

"No, you can't separate them," you cried, "And they need to be with their Dad."

"Okay, okay," Tyler said, gently, like he overly cautious of saying the wrong thing. "I'll take them all. But we gotta go. I'm sorry."

You pushed yourself up off the bed, and Tyler disappeared into the bathroom, coming back with a box of Kleenex, pressing it into your hands. "You better take this with you," he said, and you laughed. You always got a little misty eyed when he had to leave at the end of the summer, but it had never been this bad. And you hadn't even left the house yet.

"I tried to look up ways to get pregnant women to stop crying," he said, as you walked out to the car, "But all it did was list all the different things that made pregnant women cry. There was a lot. Like hundreds. Probably thousands. I'm kind of scared."

"Tyler," you scolded.

"What?" he asked, "I don't like it when you cry."

You got into the passenger seat while he loaded the dogs into the car, but he opened your door a moment later. "He wants to ride with you," Tyler said, and Gerry jumped in, sitting down on the floor and settling his head in your lap while Tyler walked around to the driver's side.

"You ready, mama?" he asked, as he put his seatbelt on and started the car.

"Don't call me 'mama'," you said, taking a tissue from the box you had sitting in your lap and wiping at your eyes.

"You don't like it?" he asked, with a frown, backing out of the driveway.

"No, it's gonna make me cry more," you said, and he laughed, settling his hand on your knee.

"I'll see you in a few weeks, you know, Y/N," Tyler said. They had a game in Toronto in October, so it really wouldn't be that long, "And I'm still going to talk to you all the time."

"I know," you said, running your hands over Gerry's ears.

"Are you even gonna miss me or are you just upset the dogs are leaving?" he asked with a laugh, "'Cause I was planning missing the hell out of you, but if you're only gonna miss the dogs, I'm not going to miss you."

You looked at him, your cheeks twitching with emotion, fresh tears running down your face, "Of course I'm going to miss you."

"Awe, babes," Tyler said softly, rubbing his thumb where it laid over your knee. "It's going to be okay. You know what you can do anytime you miss me?"

"Hmm?"

"Just watch me on T.V. Or, if I'm not on T.V., there's always YouTube," he laughed loudly and so did you, through your tears.

"Seriously though," he said, glancing at you, "I'm always just a phone call away. You know that."

You nodded, scrunching the used tissue in your hands. It was going to be completely disintegrated by the time you opened your fist. Tyler kept glancing at you as he drove.

"Are you actually this sad, or is this hormones?"

"I think it's a bad combination," you sniffed.

"Like grilled cheese and mustard," he quipped.

You laughed, staying quiet until you arrived at the airport, and Tyler parked, looking over at you. "I'm going to go check my bags. You say goodbye to the dogs, okay?"

You nodded, climbing into the backseat, Gerry following you, and let yourself be surrounding by them, making sure to place a kiss on the top of each of their heads. You were thankful that it took Tyler awhile, eventually putting them on their leashes and taking them to the grass next to the parking lot so they could sniff around a little bit. Tyler was smiling when he came back, walking towards you with hands stuck in his pockets. "Did you guys tell Y/N you love her?" he asked.

"They did," you said, laughing under your breath, handing the leashes over, because it occurred to you that it was probably time for them to get going. "Ty-" you started, taking a step towards him, but he held up his hand.

"Let me take them in, and then I'll come back to say goodbye to you, 'k?"

"Okay," you said, petting them all once more, trying to keep it together as Tyler walked away with them, which was incredibly difficult, especially because they all kept looking back at you, like they didn't understand why you weren't coming.

You paced, walking around and rubbing your hands up and down your thighs, but your eyes were misty when Tyler started walking back towards you.

"C'mere," he said, opening his arms wide, and enveloping you in a hug. Neither of you said anything, and he just held you, one hand rubbing up and down your back soothingly, the other braced around the back of his head, holding you to his chest. "I love you lots, 'k?" he said against your hair after what felt like a couple of minutes."

"I love you, too," you mumbled against his chest.

He pulled back slowly, looking you in the eyes. "You take good care of that baby. And yourself, alright?"

You nodded, "I'll take good care of the blob."

Tyler smiled, "You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Never," you said, even through your tears.

He laughed under his breath, his hands running up and down your sides. "You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah," you confirmed.

"I want you to go home and make yourself a grilled cheese sandwich. You'll feel better," you laughed, even as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "I'll text you when we get there, okay?"

You nodded, his hand settled on your hips as you looked at each other, both of you full well knowing that the inevitable had to happen. "I'll see you soon," he said, kissing you on your forehead once both, and then pressing the keys into your palm, his fingertips slowly pulling away. He gave you one last smile, and then he was gone.

You went around to the driver's side, not daring to watch him walk away, but you glanced in the direction of the door once you buckled your seatbelt, and he was standing there, exaggeratedly blowing you a kiss and then making a symbol of a heart with his hands, and you laughed, waving goodbye to him and then shooing him inside before he missed his flight.


	21. Chapter 21

You'd spent so much time anticipating getting pregnant and feeling excited and relieved and completely overjoyed that you were pregnant, that you'd kind of forgotten just how long of a wait it was going to be before you got to meet your baby.

Nine months seemed like an incredibly long time, even if you were already a couple of months along. You weren't even entirely sure when you were supposed to start buying baby stuff, but you were pretty sure you should probably wait until at least the second trimester. Probably.

You were, however, determined to try and enjoy being pregnant, because there was still a small voice in the back of your head that worried you might never get to experience this again. And that would be okay, because you had it. Right now.

There was so much more to savor though, and you found yourself appreciating each and every little milestone, but also wanting to space them out, too. You'd got to have your sister come with you to your appointment today, and you'd gotten to hear the heartbeat for the first time, which had been amazing.

Your phone rang, and you knew without a doubt that it was Tyler, before you'd even glanced at the phone. He'd been calling you a lot lately, more than he ever had. Usually, it was more a combination of Facetime, Snapchats, and texts that you used to stay in touch when he wasn't home, but the Facetime sessions seemed to be replaced with phone calls, and you weren't exactly sure why.

Although, he did Facetime you a couple of times earlier on in September, when he was at home, to try and get you to be able to see the dogs and say hello to them, but that ended up with them hearing you and walking around crying because they couldn't figure out where you are, which was pretty typical. What wasn't typical, however, was the fact that you also started crying as well. This was probably exactly the reason why he was calling you instead now.

"Hey, babe," Tyler said after you answered, "Whatcha doing?"

"Trying to organize my clothes," you said, looking at everything you had laid out on the bed, in a complete mess.

"That sounds boring," Tyler said.

"Yeah, my sister and I went shopping after my appointment and I got some new clothes. Maternity stuff," you said. Not much, really, because you'd been getting away with wearing dresses and looser things like leggings. It was mostly underwear, but you'd gotten a couple of pairs of pants for work.

"Oh really," Tyler said sarcastically, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "You mean for the belly that you said you didn't have yet?"

"I didn't," you said adamentally, "it just started growing. A little bit. Like, it's barely even there in the morning but at the end of the day....things get tight." You patted your belly, which basically just looked like you'd eaten a big meal or something.

"I mean, you're wrong," he said, "But if you want to believe that you can."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"Speaking of, how is the blob?"

"It's not really a blob anymore," you said, thinking back to the notification you'd gotten on your phone this morning from your pregnancy app, "It's the size of a kumquat."

"A kumquat? What's a kumquat?"

"A fruit," you answered, "A citrus fruit."

"Like an orange? Or a lemon?"

"No, way smaller. Like an inch."

"How big is an inch?" Tyler asked.

"2.54 centimetres."

"How big is 2.54 centimetres?"

"Look at a ruler."

"What's a ruler?" Tyler asked, and now you could hear the hint of a laugh in his voice.

"Tyler!"

He laughed loudly, "Do you seriously think I'm that stupid that I don't know how big an inch is?"

"Well...."

"Hey!" he said, "I got a B in Math in grade 10."

"Because I did your homework for you!" you said, "And measurements is probably like second or third grade."

"Whatever," he said, "How is the blob, kumquat thingy though?"

You laughed, "The doctor said the heartbeat sounds good. And everything else was looking healthy."

"Are crying again?"

"No," you lied.

"Yeah, you are. But, I got the video you sent me," Tyler said, "People were looking at me really weird when I listened to it, though."

"Where were you listening to it?" you asked with a laugh.

"Uh, just at the gym," he said, "I didn't know what it was."

"Then why did you open it in public?"

"Well, it was from you, and I really didn't think you were going to send me porn or anything," he said, "Don't worry, I told everyone it was some ASMR thing, and they believed me. They gave me shit for it, but they believed me."

"Everyone?" You asked tentatively.

"Yeah, just some of the guys, and a couple strength and conditioning coaches."

"Tyler...." you said. You hadn't even told your father you were pregnant yet. You didn't need a bunch of people you barely even knew knowing you were pregnant. Not yet.

Interpreting your silence correctly, Tyler said, "Hey, I'm not gonna tell anyone, I'm good at keeping secrets," he said, making a noise like he was sitting down, "You should have seen the dogs though, they all lifted their heads up and perked their ears up, and were looking around like they didn't know what the hell it was. It was hilarious. I'll have to take a video and send it to you."

"Mmm," you smiled, rolling onto your side on the bed, halfheartedly sorting your clothes with one hand.

"Your sister went with you?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"That's good," he said, "I'm glad."

"Me too," you said.

"Really though," he continued, "I'm so happy she came around."

He sounded so genuine that you couldn't help but laugh a little, "She screamed at you. You're not a little bit upset with her?"

"No, she's your sister," he said, "And she's not a bad person. Her heart's in the right place."

You nodded, despite the fact that he couldn't see you, stifling a yawn.

When he yawned, you asked, "Are you tired? Wanna hang up?"

"Nah," he said easily, "I only yawned because you did. I think you're the one who's tired, mama."

"I'm just trying not to throw up," you admitted.

"Maybe you should take a break," Tyler said, and you supposed he was right. You got up from the bed slowly, wandering into your kitchen, and searching for the prescription bottle, pouring yourself a glass of lemonade.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Taking one of my pills," you said, doing just as you said.

"Do they help?" Tyler asked gently.

"Yeah, they...take the edge off? But they make me tired."

"Hmm..." he mumbled, "We should start a show."

"What?"

"We should watch a show together," he said.

"Tyler, we're not even in the same country, remember?"

"So?" he asked, "You start it. I start it. We discuss over the phone. It's basically like I'm there, you just can't see me or touch me. Which is really a bummer for you."

You rolled your eyes, searching in your kitchen cabinet.

"We need something on Netflix," Tyler continued, "Oh, I know! Grey's Anatomy."

"You hate that show."

"I don't hate that show," he said, "I just never know what the fuck is going on because you watched, like, 90% of it without me. Which is why we need to start it from the beginning."

"It's, like, 14 seasons, or something," you said, finally finding the bag you were looking for.

"Yeah, well, it's gonna take you awhile to grow that baby. We need something to do. Plus, if you fall asleep, which you probably will, you'll at least know what's happening," he said as you held the phone against your shoulder, pulling open the bag, "What are you doing now?"

"Getting chips," you said, pouring some into a bowl, looking at it, and then adding a little more.

"I thought you said you felt sick?" he questioned.

"Yeah, I'm like, nauseous and hungry at the same time," you said, "It's weird, I can't explain it." All you knew was that potato chips and lemonade seemed to be the cure.

"Snacks is a good idea though, I like it," he said, and then, "What are you wearing?"

"What?" you barked, not so glamorously popping potato chips into your mouth.

Tyler laughed loudly in your ear, "I meant if you had comfy clothes on. But, I mean, if you want to get naked, that's cool."

You ignored him, going back to your bedroom, and pushing all the clothes off to one side of your bed, laying down and pulling your laptop towards you, your bowl of chips settled in the curve of your stomach.

"What was that noise?" Tyler asked.

"Nothing? I just laid down."

"Oh, so you make a noise when you lay down now?" he asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Shut up," you mumbled, leaning over to pull up the show.

"Are you ready?" Tyler asked, and you affirmed that you were, "Okay, because this is really important. 3, 2, 1,"

You pushed the play button, and then propped yourself up against the pillows, tears springing to your eyes as the opening title screen came up.

"You're crying again, aren't you?" he asked.

"It's been so long since I watched this from the beginning," you said. It kind of took you back, in a strange way.

"Yeah, you girls used to be obsessed with it in high school. We couldn't do anything on Sunday nights, it bugged the shit out of me," he said, and then, "Oh, wow, there's nudity already. I see why you like this so much."

"Tyler!" you scolded, and then you started getting emotional again when you saw the opening introduction of all the interns, "Oh, they look so young."

"Okay, maybe this show was a bad idea if it's going to make you cry the whole time."

"No," you smiled, "It makes me so happy. I mean, I'm crying, yeah, but I'm happy."

"So, like, the same way you've been every minute since you've gotten pregnant?"

"Tyler!"

**

Nine times out of ten, he was the one who called you, only because your schedule tended to be pretty stable, while it was his that was erratic. But, when you saw that you had a missed call, you made sure to call him back as soon as you got home.

"Where were you?" he asked, almost immediately after answering the phone.

"Oh, I was just at work," you said, unlocking the door, and kicking your shoes off immediately, and then ridding yourself of your bag.

"At work? It's like, what 9:30 at night?"

"Yeah," you said, "I'm instructing a couple of courses this semester. Lower level ones."

"What?"

"I'm instructing an intro to psychology and intro to sociology courses this semester," you said, plopping yourself down on the couch, realizing that you hadn't told him.

"Yeah, I heard you," he said, and you frowned, not knowing what he was getting at. "Babe, I can give you money."

"You don't need to give me money."

"Well, you don't need to be working two jobs when you're pregnant."

"It's not two jobs," you said, "It's, like, one and a quarter."

"Y/N," Tyler huffed.

"What?" you asked, slightly offended at how big of a deal he was making out of this.

"Seriously," he said, "How many times have you babysat the dogs for me and I didn't pay you?"

"You don't have to pay me for hanging with your dogs," you said with a laugh, "I love staying with them."

"Exactly," he said, "Do you know how much money I would have to pay to find someone who could even fake loving them as much as you do?"

"Tyler..."

"Babe, you made them dog ice cream," he said, "And you fucking wrapped their Christmas AND birthday gifts. And, like, I don't even have to explain the weird stuff to you like that Gerry tries to lick fucking everything or that Marshall will stick so many tennis balls into his mouth that he'll choke if you don't stop him, or that Cash will get an ear infection if you don't clean his ears after he's been swimming or in the rain. Like, I don't have to worry about that when they're with you. You're like, a million dollar dog sitter. And you've been sick."

"Tyler," you interrupted, "I like working. And I'm going to be on maternity leave for a year. I'm gonna miss it. I'm not just doing this for the money. I did it last fall semester, too. I like teaching."

"Yeah, but you weren't pregnant last year."

"I'm feeling better," you said, "I'm starting to get more energy."

"So you're not feeling sick anymore?" he asked.

"Well..no," you said, and Tyler gave an exaggerated 'babe....' , "But I need to do something. I can't just sit around all day by myself until he gets here." It wasn't bad, actually. Even if you had to take a pill to get through the class, you could come home and sleep. You definately didn't feel like you were overextending yourself; you wouldn't let yourself do that.

"Well, you wouldn't be by yourself if you let me leave one of the dogs with you," Tyler said, "Although, it is kind of nice that you're not here. They actually pay attention to me."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"I mean, it's super cute that they follow you, but I missed the attention," he said, "But I should probably just be happy that they didn't try to attack me every time I got close to you."

"Oh, your dogs would not attack anything," you said with conviction, "They're gentle."

"I bet if something was attacking you they would," he said, followed by, "Wait. You said 'he.'"

"What?" you asked.

"You said until 'he gets here'"

"No, I didn't," you said. You wouldn't know until another couple of weeks, of course you didn't say that.

"Uh, yeah you did," Tyler said, "Is that what you think it is? A boy?"

"No, I don't know," you said, "I don't...think anything."

"Is that what you want then?"

"No, I don't care," you said, "I mean, of course I care, but I don't have a preference. I just want a healthy baby."

"Well, obviously. But what do you actually want? If you could choose?"

"I don't have a preference," you said. And it was true. You could see yourself both with a little boy or a little girl.

"Okay," Tyler said, although he didn't sound like he was convinced at all, "So, since I'm pretty sure you're not going to let me give you money, can I at least start a college fund for your kid?"

"Tyler..."

"You know what, I'm going to do it anyways," he said, "And I'll just give it to him OR her when he OR she turns 18, and there won't be a thing you can do about it."

You laughed, "I was going to say yes, but.."

You could almost hear him stick his tongue out through the phone. "You know your kid's gonna be smart like you."

Smiling, you turned putting your feet up on the couch, because there was something you'd been thinking about. Something about that you hadn't considered before, because now it felt even more real. "Tyler, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yep," he responded.

"It's serious."

"What? Are you gonna tell me you're pregnant or something?"

"No," you laughed, taking a deep breath, "I was just wondering if it would be okay with you if I told my child that you were.....that you were their biological father. When they're old enough to understand, obviously."

Your hand moved over your practically non-existent belly. You didn't want to keep it a secret from your child, to have them feel like it was something bad, because it wasn't, it was good. And you wanted them to know that you made a choice to bring them into this world, and that it came from a place of love, and intention, and and beautiful friendship. You didn't know if they would have questions, either, about their genetic history and where they came from, and you didn't want to take that away from them. Not to mention, you didn't want your child to question why this man in their life was starting a college fund for them or was involved, and you didn't want them to think that Tyler was their dad, but that you were somehow keeping him from being their dad, or that it was a choice Tyler was making because he just didn't want to be their dad. You wanted your kid to know what you'd gone through to ensure that they were created, and that they were loved.

"Of course you can tell them," Tyler said gently.

"You can think about it," you said, "I mean, it's a big deal."

"I don't have to think about it. Like, I'm going to tell my family right?" he said, "I always just assumed you'd tell your kid too, I guess? If it's what you want, and what you think is best."

"I do," you said. You were certain of it. As certain as you'd been about this whole thing.

"Then of course you can tell them," Tyler said, "I'd love for him or her to know."


	22. Chapter 22

You were now horny and nauseous.

It was an extremely strange combination, but, essentially, all you wanted was for someone to just give you an orgasm while you laid extremely still on the bed. Was that so much to ask?

It was kind of, sort of getting out of control. To the point where you had to restrain yourself from just going and grinding on some guy's leg as he walked down the street.

It was bad.

And you were also know at the stage where it was kind of noticeable that you had a bump, when you were naked at least. Or maybe it was just that way to you. But you knew, without a doubt, that there was no way that any guy was going to want to hook up with you if they knew you were pregnant.

Not that you would do that anyways. But still.

"Ask Tyler."

"Hmm?" You asked, looking over your head towards Danielle from where you were buttering your bread.

"Ask Tyler," she repeated, "you said it was good."

Really good, actually. Maybe that was even a contributing factor in your increased libido: that you'd been having plenty of sex, and then it just stopped. But...

"I am not asking him," you said adamentaly. Nope. You were friends. This was not part of your arrangement. Although, he probably wouldn't mind. And he did say if you needed anything...

But, nope. You were not crossing that line. Plus, not to mention, you'd probably never hear the end of it if you did. "He's not even here, anyways," you reasoned. That was that.

"He'd probably fly out here for two hours just to sleep with you and then go back home."

You laughed, but he actually probably would. You were not doing that.

"Can we change the topic, please?" you asked hopefully, thankful when Danielle started talking about this guy she'd been seeing, and you listened as you continued to make your grilled cheese sandwich. "Are you sure you don't want one?"

"No, I'm not five years old," she quipped, "Nor do I have a baby inside me."

"Well, you could..." you said, as you placed the sandwich on the pan, listening to it sizzle, smirking at her.

"Nope," she said quickly, "I think I'll just hang out with yours, and enjoy it, and then give it back when I'm done."

You laughed, gesturing to the stove, "Can you watch that for a sec?" You were pretty sure the baby had just shifted or something, putting pressure on your bladder.

She nodded and you rushed off to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway of the room that was your office on the way back, thinking that you should probably start thinking about how you were going to rearrange that room now.

When you came back, Danielle had your phone pressed to her ear, standing over the stove, and she rolled her eyes when she saw you, "Tyler is trying to teach me how to make the perfect grilled cheese."

"It's an art form!" you heard him yell.

Danielle was quiet for a moment as she listened to something that he said, and then she said, "No, I can't, I have a date that night," to which you could hear Tyler go "oooooh", "But thanks for asking though. Here, I'll let you talk to Y/N."

She was about to pass the phone off, when she stopped, listening to something else, and then rolled her eyes again, "Yes, I flipped the sandwich. It's fine."

You took the phone from her, pulling the pan off the heat, "Hey, what's up?" you answered as you went to grab yourself a plate. And mustard.

"I just wanted to make sure that you want two tickets to the game, right?"

"Two?" you questioned, "Didn't you just ask Danielle and she said she couldn't come? Who else am I going to bring?"

"I meant for you and the baby."

Your expression dropped and you sighed, directing your attention to cutting your sandwich. "Did you seriously just call me to ask that?"

Tyler laughed loudly in your ear, and you rolled your eyes, "Are you seriously eating while you're own the phone with me?" he asked.

"I have to otherwise I'll feel even more sick," you explained, practically stuffing food into your mouth, "The baby's hungry."

"Well, you're its mother, tell it to stop it."

"I don't think it works like that," you laughed.

"It's super attractive to listen to you eat though." When you didn't respond, he added, "I'm kidding, babe. How many times have I been eating while talking to you? And it's not even like I was pregnant."

"Was there something else you wanted?" you asked lightly, "Because you're kind of ruining my grilled cheese for me."

"Uh, yeah," he said, "what's your address?"

"My address?" You questioned, "What do you mean, what's my address? You come to my house all the time."

"Yeah, because I know where you live," he said, "But I don't know what you actual address is."

You were quiet for a moment. "Why do you need to know what my address is?" you asked hesitantly.

"To send something to your house. Duh."

"To send what to my house?"

"I'm not telling you," he said quickly, "That'd ruin the surprise."

You took a deep inhale and exhale. "Tyler, you don't need to get me anything."

"Well, it's not for you," he said, like he was teasing you for being selfish for thinking so, "It's for the baby. He or she lives there, too, remember? But you can open it for them, since they can't really."

"You don't need to get anything for the baby," you said.

"I know," he said, "I want to. Also, I'm starting my campaign for favourite uncle early."

"Well, I think you're going to be the only uncle..."

"Sweet, that was easy," he said happily, and then lowered his voice, "Also, I'm kind of gunning to be favourite aunt or uncle, but I didn't want to say anything because I know Danielle's right there."

You laughed, because of course he would turn this into a competition. "Okay, but I'm not really ready for baby stuff right now," you said, "I need to clean out the closet in my office."

"Not even a little something?"

"No, I don't need a Dallas Stars onesie yet when I don't even have a baby to put in it yet."

"How do you even know that's what it is?"

"Because I know you. It's either that or a baby jersey or something," you laughed, "You're tell me that's not what it is?"

"I'm not tell you what it is because you don't want any baby gifts yet," he said, "And it's supposed to be a surprise."

And now you felt kind of bad, because you probably just ruined the whole thing for him, so you made a mental note to act super happy when you received what likely was all the Dallas Stars baby gear available.

"What are you girls doing?"

"We were just going to watch a movie," you said.

"Can I watch it with you? Or do you need me to hang up so you can talk about me?"

"We were not talking about you," you said, covering up the mouthpiece to ask Danielle if she minded if Tyler stayed on the phone, and she made a face like why were you even asking.

"You can watch with us," you told him.

"Good, I miss hanging out with you guys," he said, sounding rather pathetic, "Now, you go get your chips and then put me on the couch right between the two of you. We can all cuddle."

**

You were trying desperately not to vomit.

It wasn't the 15,000 people that surrounded you that was the problem, however. Nope, it was the fact that Tyler's mother was sitting right next to you.

"I'll be right back," you said quickly, thankful that she just nodded at you and smiled, rather than following you to the bathroom. You walked past the bathrooms, however, going outside, into the evening air which was crisp and wonderful, goosebumps raising up on your arms. You took several deep breaths, unzipping your purse and searching for your antinausea medication, taking one with a sip from your water bottle. You really should have filled that with lemonade, now that you thought about it. You actually should have probably gotten yourself a snack, too, but the whole concourse was filled with the smell of pizza, and beer, and cooked meat, all of which was just downright nauseating to you.

You were trying to decide if you could handle standing in line at a hot dog stand just to get a bag of potato chips, when someone walked past you, and you smelled it before you even saw it: they had grilled cheese. You practically ran towards them, because you needed to know where they got it.

And then you were pointed towards the holy grail: a place that just made grilled cheese.

Well, they actually specialized in mac and cheese, but who cared, because there were so many grilled cheese options. And they all came with potato chips.

You settled on one that had guacamole, which was a bit of a step down from mustard, in your opinion, but that wasn't an option, and you were pretty sure that might get you some weird looks. It had spinach too, which was a little unappetizing, but you supposed it was good for the baby, and you hoped the cheese would just cover it up.

You were smiling wide when you went back to your seat, your food in one hand and the cup of lemonade you'd found in the other.

"The Leafs scored," Jackie said when you got back to your seat.

"Oh," you said. You supposed you should look disappointed, but you couldn't even fake it.

"Oh, that looks good," she said.

"Yeah, did you want some?" You offered out of politeness. Normally it would be genuine, but you kind of didn't want to share. Then again, you supposed you could always get more. You were a little relieved when she declined, however.

It turned out that guacamole on grilled cheese was quite good. So good, in fact, that you may consider dipping half of your grilled cheese in mustard and the other half in guacamole from now on, assuming you could keep it down. You were trying to eat it very slowly, concentrating on the potato chips, because you didn't want to get sick.

"Are you alright?" Jackie asked, and you followed her gaze to where your hand was rubbing your belly, which you'd been doing more often without realizing it.

"Oh, yeah," you said quickly, "just cramps." You were hoping that would explain everything away, even if you were to throw up, because she knew about your endometriosis, of course. It might even work as a decent excuse until she knew you were pregnant anyways. The plan was for Tyler to tell her when he was home for Christmas and had time to actually sit down and have a discussion with her, so you had to try and keep it on the downlow until then. Which would be easier if you weren't so sick.

" Oh," Jackie frowned, already digging in her purse, "did you need some pain killers? I think I have..."

"No, I already took some," you lied, feeling bad even though it was a little white lie, " thanks though."

Your conversation was broken up by a cheer, and you redirected your attention back to the ice. You shivered, trying to see what had actually happened. You always thought it would be colder in an ice rink than it actually was, and you thought you'd overdressed at first, but now that you'd been outside you were getting kind of chilly, and felt like curling up with a blanket. So, you settled for the next best thing, just resting your arm on the armrest, your head in your hand, trying to follow the puck on the ice, but it was so small, and your eyes were so tired....

The next thing you knew your head jerked at the sound of a delighted scream next to you, your eyes flying open to take in the thousands of people who were not screaming and then your eyes flicked down to the ice where you saw a huddle of green and white jerseys celebrating, and you put together where you were and what was happening, clapping because you realized that was what you were supposed to be doing.

Jackie's hand came up, and you gave her a high-five, and then you realized that you still had food in your lap, and turned your attention back to that. You heard them announce the goal, and realized that Tyler had scored, and you didn't even catch the replay. Oops.

You tried to pay attention, you really did, but offsides and everything was so confusing to follow and, with a little more food in your belly, you found yourself drifting off again, but you did, at least, wake up to see the last three minutes of the third, so that was an accomplishment. And then you got to go down to see Tyler, which was the whole reason you came, anyways.

You were waiting in the hallway when he came out, smiling at both of you, and Jackie, like her whole face just lit up when she saw him, hurrying over to give him and hug because she was just so happy to see her son, even though he was all grown up, and your face just immediately scrunched up with emotion, your lip quivering as you tried not to cry.

"Oh, are you alright?" Jackie asked, while Tyler was giving you the sweetest look which was not helping one bit.

"Yeah," you wiped quickly at your eye, "I think I'm just fighting off a cold or something" at the exact same time Tyler said "She's got allergies."

Her head bounced between the two of you, finally landing on Tyler. "Allergies? In October?"

"Yeah, I don't know, she's super weird," Tyler said to his mother, and then turned to you, "But, Hi."

He leaned in to give you a hug, but he had a bottle of water in one hand so he just sort of wrapped one arm fully around you, trying to place a kiss on your cheek but he kind of caught the corner of your lip and he just smelled so clean and good. And all you could think about was just shoving him back against the wall, your hands running through his hair, which was still wet from his shower, a slight blush on his cheeks, his skin warm underneath you, your lips smashed together. His hands would probably be running all up and down your back, pulling you closer, and maybe he'd slide his leg between yours, but you'd definitely have to get rid of his suit jacket, because that was too much fabric separating you and...

"Why are you breathing like that?" Tyler asked, looking down at you with a curious expression on his face, standing next to you like a normal person, his mother, oh god, his mother, standing right there in a circle with you both, your face immediately heating up.

"Tyler, I don't think she's feeling very well," Jackie said, "Be nice."

"Awe," Tyler said, his arm hooking around your shoulder and pulling you towards him, planting a kiss on your head, and then releasing you, and you could still feel the dampness from his hair on your skin.

"Great goal, honey," his mom said, and he smiled immediately.

"Yeah, it was great," you said, faking a smile, because he was looking at you for your reaction.

"Yeah?" he asked, "What did you think about my second one?"

"Oh," you said, about to say 'it was great', but you didn't want to just repeat yourself, so instead you said, "I had a feeling you were going to score again."

"Really? Because I only scored the one," Tyler said, laughing loudly and then looking at you with a completely amused expression on his face, "Were you even paying attention?"

"Yeah, I saw you out there," you said, gesturing with your finger in figure eights, "Skating around with the puck and stuff."

"Skating around with the puck and stuff," he repeated with a laugh. "You know, when that little black thing goes into the other team's net, that's called a goal."

"Honey, I'm sure she tried her best," Jackie said.

"I mean, at least she showed up," Tyler said, "Neither one of the sisters wanted to come."

"They're busy with school," Jackie said, to which Tyler mumbled, 'well, they could have skipped class for their brother' which got him a stern look, "Speaking of, Y/N, you've got to come over for dinner again. We've been missing you."

"Mom," Tyler whined, "Don't ask her over for dinner right in front of me."

"I'd love to," you said, "But I've been super busy with work. Maybe when things calm down a bit?" What you really meant, was when your morning sickness, or rather, all-day sickness, had calmed down to a manageable level where you didn't have to worry about trying to hid about it.

"Yeah," Tyler said, hooking an arm around your shoulder again, smiling at his mom, "She's professing classes this semester."

Your head pulled back, frowning at him, "Professing classes?"

"Yeah, 'cause you're a professor."

You blinked a couple of times, running your hand through your hair, "That's not what 'professing' means," you said, "And I'm not a professor. I'm just instructing."

Tyler shrugged, "Close enough."

You knew that you'd spent some time explaining the difference between a Master's degree and a PhD to him, and the different levels at a University. And there had to be another conversation at some point, but you really didn't even remember that, because you were too busy staring at his lips as he spoke, thinking that maybe they looked a little bigger than normal? Or had they always been like that? You certainly didn't remember his hands looking quite so big in comparison to a water bottle, either. You barely remembered saying goodbye to him, other than the sensation of his beard brushing against your jawline when he kissed you goodbye on the cheek, and the warmth and weight of his body. You were pretty sure that you'd said 'you too' to his mom when she told you to drive safely, but you weren't entirely sure because you were trying to keep your mind off the incredibly impure thoughts you were having of her son, until you could get to your car, and finally squeeze your thighs together in peace.

It was incredibly difficult to focus on driving home, but you did so, because you weren't about to get in a car crash over this. You were happy when you were finally home though, safe in your driveway, unbuttoning your pants before you'd even had the front door closed behind you or your shoes off. You realized, however, that you'd need to take your boots off before you could get your pants off, so you unzipped them with one hand, your other hand dipping right into your panties, finding your clit and applying just a little pressure, your mouth falling open and your head tilting to the side as you let out a little sigh of relief. Even with the little room you had to maneuver, you could tell just how wet you were, just from thinking about him.

You played with yourself for a couple of minutes, just sitting there on the chair by your front door, just enough to take the edge off, before you got up, pushing your pants and panties down your leg, turning your bedroom light down low, and crawling into bed, pulling the blanket up around you. Your fingers rubbed circles around your clit, just the way that you knew you liked it, dipping down into your slit to gather your arousal, spreading it around your swollen bundle of nerves. You were already throbbing though, it was almost too good too fast, and you slowed down just a little, your hand pushing up your shirt and under your bra, gripping your breast, which was fairly sensitive actually, so you just kind of held it for a moment, enjoying the tingles running up and down your body, catching your breath.

Your hand dipped down again, your eyes falling shut when you slipped a finger inside yourself, your muscles clenching around it immediately. Experimentally, your added another finger, curving it just right, moaning out loud as your head sunk back down into the pillows, your body shifting around on the bed. You were trying to just focus on the sensations in your body but, you eyes slipped shut, and your body seeming to move by itself, a vision of Tyler coming into your mind. He was kissing down your body, over your hips, lips sucking gently at your skin. You pictured his head slipping between your legs, because you hadn't gotten a chance to do that, your hands moving through his hair as he licked and kissed at you. He'd probably pull away just to grin up at you cockily, his brown eyes connecting with yours, and then his tongue stiffening, circling your entrance. It was this you imagined as your fingers dropped from yourself, going to your breast and then gripping the sheets as little whimpers came from your mouth, doubling your efforts on your clit and picturing him fucking with his tongue, looking up at you, until you came, sinking down back on the bed, a satisfied smile on your face.

You should probably feel a little guilty, after the fact, now that you'd thought about one of your best friends while getting off, but you kind of didn't, the smile reappearing back on your face as your hand trailed back between your legs, vaguely wondering if you should get a snack before or after you went for round two.


	23. Chapter 23

You knew that the sex of your baby didn't really matter, of course. He or she would be whomever they were meant to be.

But you were still curious and excited to find out, knowing that somehow that would make it that much more real. It was another milestone you'd been waiting for.

You were laying on the exam table, waiting for the ultrasound tech to arrive, after already having had your appointment with Dr. Stevens and gone through all the routine appointment stuff. Both your sister and Danielle were with you, and you were pretty sure Tyler would be there too if he was in town, but you had promised you'd let him know. In anticipation, you pulled your shirt up, scrunch the fabric up right underneath your bra.

"Wow," Nicole said, "you've got, like, the cutest little belly."

"I know," you smiled, smoothing your hand over it. It wasn't really noticeable, probably, unless you were looking for it, but it was definately there. When the tech came in and introduced herself, you couldn't wipe the smile off your face.

"Alright," she said, spreading the cold gel on your belly, "we'll take a look at baby's organs first and take some measurements. You wanted to know the sex, right?"

"Yes, please," you said, still smiling.

"Alright, we'll see if baby cooperates and let's us see between its legs."

Oh. That part hadn't really occurred to you, that you might not get to find out today, when you'd been looking forward to it. You were mentally trying to connect with the baby inside of you, as if you could somehow encourage it to open its legs. And then the profile image of your baby popped up on the screen, and you forgot it all, because it didn't matter. Your breath was immediately taken away, tears springing to your eyes, because it actually looked like a baby, not like a....well, like a blob. It had a visible head, and nose, and lips, and legs and arms.

The tech started poking at your belly gently with the wand. "C'mon, little one, move your hand so I can measure your head."

You laughed, although it seemed to work, the baby's hand floating away from its head. You turned your head to look behind you, "Could one of you guys take a video on my phone?" you asked, "Please?"

Your poor sister, however, had tears running down her face. "Awe, Nic," you said, reaching for her hand. She sniffed, taking a sniff and stepping closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

The sound of the heartbeat filled the room, which was quickly becoming your favourite sound. You couldn't take your eyes off the screen, or believe how much the baby was moving around inside of you. You couldn't feel it, yet, of course, but you were pretty sure that would be amazing, too.

"Okay, let's try and take a peek in between the legs," the tech said, and you could feel the wand moving around on your belly, watching the screen, looking at what you assumed was the baby's bum, judging by the legs and the little feet and the toes. Oh god, your baby had toes.

"Oh wow," the tech said, like she was surprised, like she'd never seen anything like it before. Your head immediately snapped towards her, trying to interpret her face.

"Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yes, yes," she said quickly, like she was sorry for making you worry, like she'd gone off script, smiling down at you, "Baby's just...he's making it very apparent."

"He?" you asked, your eyes filling with tears once more, and you could feel both your sister and Danielle's hands on your arm.

"Yeah," she said, "he's most definately a boy. No question."

You were now crying and laughing at the same time, watching him move on the screen. Him. He. He was an 'it' no more.

You barely even noticed what the tech said after that, other than the fact that he was healthy.

Once she left, and you were getting up, wiping the tears from your eyes, you looked both seriously at Nicole and Danielle, "Don't either of you dare say anything to Tyler about her reaction," you said, "he'll never shut up about it."

"I'm not talking to him about his dick," Nicole said, her face looking utterly disgusted, and Danielle had a rather similar look on her face.

You were planning to call Tyler to tell him, but it was...rather obvious from the pictures, so you instead took a picture of that, texting it to him as your sister drove you home, although you were a little surprised when he texted you back almost immediately, because you thought he was in...New York? Or was it New Jersey? You figured he should be doing something.

Tyler: Is that a penis??!!!!

The next text then had approximately 15 eggplant emojis.

Tyler: Told ya, good genes.

You rolled your eyes, setting your phone back in your bag, and your sister smiled over at you. "Guess I can say I have a nephew now."

"Yeah, you can," you said, as another piece clicked in that made it all the more real.

You were unlocking your front door, when Nicole reached down behind the planter on your front steps, pulling something out. "You've got a package," she said, handing you the box, and you frowned, because you didn't remember ordering anything. But, you recognized the writing immediately without even needing to look at the return address to see who it was from.

"It's from Tyler," you said, with a slight eye roll. At least the box was fairly small, so there couldn't be that many Dallas Stars baby clothes inside.

You went to the kitchen, pulling a knife from your knife block, carefully slicing through the tape. You may not be a huge hockey fan, but you weren't going to cut the fabric, knowing just how happy it'd make him to see your baby wearing green and white.

But, once the box slipped open, you were taken aback to see black and white. And then you teared up, hand going to your chest when you noticed the patterns, black outlines of little Labrador retriever faces, on white fabric. You started pulling the items out, which were so soft: a little hat which was so small you could hardly believe it, leggings, and a receiving blanket. All perfectly unisex.

"Okay, that's adorable," Nicole said, looking over your shoulder.

"I know," you said, folding it back up, setting the hat on top, fixing the little knot.

"He actually has good taste," she said, and you laughed, already pulling out your phone to call him.

"It's so cute, too, because his dogs follow me around like crazy," you said, "like they know I'm pregnant."

"Hey boy mama," Tyler answered the phone, and you couldn't help but smile.

"Hey," you responded, "So, I just got home, and there was a package here."

"Oh, really?" he asked playfully, "And do you like it?"

"Like it?" you asked, running your hand over the fabric once more, "I love it. He's wearing it when he comes home from the hospital."

"Really?" Tyler said, "Isn't that, like a big deal though?"

"Yeah," you said, you supposed it was. "It's perfect though. Thank you."

"Good. If you didn't like it I was going to say it was from the dogs. But, since you do, it was all my idea," he said, and you laughed, "Can dogs be uncles?"

"I don't know," you laughed, "I mean, if you want, I guess? I don't think there's any rules."

"I don't want," he said adamantly, "If your kid's anything like you, he'll probably like them more than me, and I really can't compete with that. They can be cousins, or whatever."

"Okay," you laughed, starting to clean up the packaging, "Did you remember my address?"

"Nah, I asked my mom."

"You asked your mom?"

"Yeah, she's got it in her address book thingy," he said, "and since you wouldn't give me your address...."

"I'm glad you did. I love it so much." You ran your hand over the fabric again. You hadn't even bought any baby clothes yet, because you'd been thinking it was too soon (not to mention the way you were feeling wasn't very conducive to shopping), but you couldn't think of a better first outfit. "I thought it was going to be Stars stuff."

"Oh, don't worry, babe, I've got tons of that," Tyler said, in a way that made it sound like you might need a separate dresser just for that, "baby clothes are really confusing, though. Like, there's different months and newborn and everything. So I just bought it all."

"Tyler!"

"He needs it." Tyler insisted, "Also, they don't make jerseys for kids until they're, like 12 months, but I'm seeing if I can get a custom one made. They even have little hats, like the ones for grown-ups but so tiny. I'll bring it all with me at Christmas. "

"Tyler, you don't need to do all of that. I love what you sent already, it's so thoughtful."

"Yes, I do. He needs to represent his favourite uncle," Tyler said, "Anyways, with the other stuff, I got, like, three months, I think? The lady at the store said it was better because newborn doesn't fit all newborns? And they can wear it longer? So hopefully it fits."

"I'll duct tape it on if I have to," you said, looking at them again. "I can actually probably put a onesie over them rather than underneath if they're super big. I'd rather him be able to wear them for a longer time anyways. And the blanket? Everything's so soft."

"Organic cotton," he bragged, and you heard a sound like he was pushing open a door, probably heading down to the bus. "How was the rest of your appointment? Everything good?"

"Yep. I gained a pound." You were quite proud of this fact, because you'd been losing or maintaining your weight up to this point with how sick you'd been. Hopefully now that you into your second trimester, things would start to turn around.

"It's probably all your kid's dick."

"Tyler!"

He was giggling so hard you could barely make out the 'sorry', hearing a rush of activity behind him, and then a few voices. "Hey, babe, I gotta get going."

"Okay. Have a good game."

"Yeah, I'll try to 'skate around with the puck and stuff'," he said, "are you going to watch?"

" Well, Nicole's staying for dinner and I think she wants to watch The Bachelor or Bachelorette, whatever it is," you said, lowering your voice a little, "I'll probably fall asleep though."

"Maybe the baby wants to watch the game though. Don't deprive him of that," Tyler said, and you could hear more chatter surrounding him. "I'll text you when I'm back at the hotel alright? If you're up from your nap, we can watch Grey's."

"Okay," you said, and Tyler made an extremely exaggerated kissing noise before hanging up the phone. Settling your phone in your pocket, you gathered up the gift, walking into the room that was now your office, but wouldn't be for much longer, placing these new items in what was your soon-to-be child's room. Your son's room.

**

It took probably a good week for it to actually sink in that you were having a baby boy. You were just getting to the halfway point of your pregnancy, which seemed crazy, even though you were still having a bit of a tough time believing this was all real.

You'd been trying to sleep for the past 90 minutes, but all you'd accomplished was just rolling back and forth from side to side, trying to find a comfortable position. Your hips had this dull, deep, constant ache, and you could swear you could feel your hips widening,even though you knew, logically, that that wasn't possible.

Your elbow hit against the mattress and you groaned with frustration. You almost want to cry, because you were tired and you just wanted to rest, cozy up and shut your eyes, but it was like the mattress was too soft or something. You vaguely wondered if your couch was firmer, but then a much, much better idea came to mind.

You sat up, throwing your robe over your pyjamas and shoving your phone and charger in your pocket. Taking a quick detour through your kitchen to grab a bag of chips and a bottle of juice in case you got hungry, you picked up your keys, and slipped your feet into your slippers, heading out to your car.

It was dark, obviously, when you pulled up, but you managed to unlock the front door using the light from your cell phone. Locking the door behind you, you walked throughout the house, turning lights on and opening windows just a because it was kind of stuffy. You were putting your juice in the fridge when you noticed lights from the next door neighbour's house and paused, wondering if they would notice, so you pulled your phone out and sent out a text.

You: I broke into your house.

You went into the bedroom next, the blankets still messed up on the bed and dog toys strewn across the sheets, and you'd remembered coming to his house before you'd had to take them all to the airport, and the dogs had abandoned their toys when you laid down on the bed, opting to give you attention instead. Everything was still in the same place. You left the toys where they were, laying down, as your phone vibrated.

Tyler: ?????

Tyler: You have a key?

Tyler: what the hell

You laughed under your breath, typing back a response: I used the key.

Tyler: Oh

Tyler: No boys allowed 😉

You: Just the one I have inside of me.

Your hand ran over your face when you realized what you said, rolling onto your back and typing back a response quickly: I meant the baby.

Tyler: 😂😂

Your face was still flaming red when Tyler's name flashed across your phone. Of course he was calling. Maybe he would only interrogate you about why you were in his house.

"Hi," you answered.

"How's that boy inside you?" He asked immediately.

"Uhh..."

"The baby," he said, as if he had to clarify.

"I don't know," you said, smoothing your hand over your belly. "I can't, like, see him, but I assume he's good."

"So you miss me that much that you had to go over to my house?"

"No, my hips hurt and your mattress is firmer."

Tyler laughed. "So you're just using taking advantage of our friendship so you can sleep in my bed?"

"Maybe..." you mused, and then you reconsidered, thinking you probably should have asked him first. Even though he used his key to get into your place without asking all the time. "Is that okay?"

"Yes," he laughed, "Just clean up after yourself. I spent hours cleaning the whole thing before I left. Don't trash the place. Is it helping?"

"Yeah," you answered, "I ordered a pregnancy pillow, that should help, but it's not here yet."

"Yeah, well at least you know where to find a good mattress until it gets there," he said, "How are you though?"

"Good."

"Babe...." he whined.

"What?"

"I want a real answer."

"That was a real answer," you said, "I'm good."

"You've been sick," he said, "It just magically went away?"

"Well, no," you said, "But it's kind of better? Most days. I just have to make sure I eat regularly or it gets bad. And I've been getting headaches, but they're not really that bad. I'm good."

"You can complain, you know," Tyler said. "You've got to feel like shit. And you barely say a word."

"Because I'm good. It's a good sign," you said. It had been rougher at first, but now that you were past the first trimester and had been able to find out what your body did and didn't like during pregnancy, it was easier.

"And you've been keeping busy?" he asked, and you had to laugh, because it sounded like you were talking to your grandmother.

"Yes," you answered, "And how are you?"

"Me? I'm good."

"But Babe...." you mimicked.

"I'm not pregnant," Tyler said, "Although, now that you mention it, it has been awhile since I've had my period."

"You should get that checked out," you said, "How was your day, though?"

"How was your day?" he responded.

"Why do we always have to talk about me?"

"Because your life is so much more exciting than mine."

"What? No it's not," you said. You literally did the exact same thing everyday. Did he forget what he did for a living?

"Yeah, it is. You're having a baby. What's more exciting than that?"

"Well, he's not here yet," you said, "I want to hear about your day."

"I mean, I'm at home, so it was pretty boring. We just had practice."

"All day?" you questioned and he huffed.

"Well, no..."

"What'd you do after?"

"Ummm...I...talked to my mom for a bit actually," he said, "Oh yeah, I meant to ask you, what are you doing for American Thanksgiving?"

"Being Canadian?" you said. You hadn't even really done much for Canadian Thanksgiving though, either, because you'd been way too sick at that point.

"Ha ha," Tyler said, clearly unamused, "We're doing American Thanksgiving at my Mom's this year because I couldn't come for the Canadian one and I have a couple of days off. She was going to invite you, I don't know if she has yet? But, you coming?"

She hadn't invited you yet, but you were sure she would. Truth be told, you'd kind of been avoiding her a little bit since you'd seen her at the game. Not because you didn't want to spend time with her, of course, but because you were worried about slipping and giving it away. And it was pretty hard to avoid when your symptoms were so apparent, so you'd had to come up with excuses the couple of times she'd invited you to dinner. You felt kind of bad about it, but you knew if Tyler was there, he'd cover for you, and you wouldn't be the only one there who knew. "Yeah, sure. Should I bring anything?"

"Uh, no," He said firmly, "Unless you want to bring your own grilled cheese, I guess."

"I can eat other stuff now," you said. At least mashed potatoes, you could handle. And definately pumpkin pie.

"Good," Tyler said, and he made an oof noise and you could only assume the dogs had just jumped on him, "Oh yeah, I'm bringing the pups, too."

"Oooh, you are?" you asked excitedly.

"Yeah, I'm just going to pretend that you were that happy to hear I'm coming."

"I am," you said, "It's just been longer since I've gotten to see them. And I get to talk to you, I don't get to talk to them."

"Yeah, I'll try to teach them to text," he offered, "They're gonna be so psyched to see you."

"And you're not?"

"I mean, I'll try not to jump all over you but no promises," he said, "It'll be nice to see when we can actually hang out other than stand around in a hallway though."

"Yeah, it really will," you smiled even though he couldn't see you. "What else did you do?"

"Uh, I don't know. Made dinner?"

"What did you have?" you asked, settling your side and curling up, pulling the blanket around you.

"Steak, and vegetables, and some rice."

He was about to ask you what you had when you interrupted him. "What else did you do?"

"I mean, I took the dogs for a walk."

"To the park?" you asked, letting your eyes fall closed, a yawn escaping your mouth.

"Yes," he laughed lightly, like he couldn't believe you were asking him so many questions. "You sound like you're going to fall asleep. Should I go?"

"No," you said, "I want to hear about your day. What happened at the park? Did they make any friends?"

"Well," Tyler said, and you pictured him settling back into the couch, his feet probably propped up on the coffee table, scratching dogs behind the ears with his hand, "There was this other dog there, a whippet, I think, that they were playing with for awhile. And then this golden retriever showed up..."

You let your breathing grow deeper, as you listened to him speak, your responses become less and less frequent, until you finally fell asleep.


	24. Chapter 24

It was cold, which presented somewhat of a problem. You couldn't wear pants.

Or, you supposed you could, but not with the tops you had. They just looked way too obvious, or not quite right. It might not be obvious to anyone else, but you were certain Tyler's mother would notice. She'd probably give you the once over, checking to make sure you were healthy, as if she could see it with her eyes. You really should have thought this through ahead of time.

You settled on a navy and white polka dotted wrap dress, one of your usual favourites, and it seemed to flow over your hips and belly. You pulled on a pair of maternity tights, only you hadn't realized they went over your entire belly, and you weren't sure you were quite ready for that yet.

You were just finishing your makeup when you heard your front door open. Of course, it was Tyler. But he was half an hour early. He'd got in late last night, and was planning to go to his Mom's a bit earlier to spend more time with her, but he'd insisted you come with so he could drive. Even though you'd warned him you might have to stop to pee, even though the drive was only 30 minutes.

"Where are you?" Tyler called, his voice coming towards you. You walked towards the sound of his voice, your smiles reflecting each other, meeting in a hug, his arms cradled around your head, pulling you to his chest, which felt lovely and warm.

"You're early," you said against him after moment, and his arms gently released you, looking down at you with a smile on his face .

" And here I thought you'd be happy to see sooner."

"I am," you said, "I was just going to go to the store before you got here to get some flowers for your mom."

"We can stop on the way," he said, "It's kind of icy out there; you shouldn't drive."

"What?" you asked in disbelief, "I driven in ice and snow before, I'm perfectly capable. I have snow tires."

"Yeah, but you're pregnant."

You laughed, "Being pregnant doesn't affect my ability to drive."

He gave you an incredulous look. "Obviously. But when I'm here, you don't have to drive," he said, "Are you ready? You look ready."

"I need to do my other eye," you said, turning to go back into the bathroom.

"What is that." Tyler said as a statement, pointing at the c-shaped pillow taking up most of the bed.

"A pregnancy pillow," you answered, picking up your mascara.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him dive bomb right into it, with an 'oof', planting his head at the top. and tossing one leg over the side, snuggling in. "This is comfy," he mumbled, shutting his eyes.

Luckily you had pretty much nothing left to do other than put mascara on your other eye and double check your hair, as you assumed the dogs must be in the car. You looked at yourself in the mirror once more, turning towards Tyler, "Is this okay? Do I look pregnant in this?"

He opened just one eye, but didn't lift his head. "Yeah, your tits do for sure. But I don't think my family will notice that."

"Tyler!"

"What?" he said, lifting his head now, "You asked the question, I was just answering it."

"I meant my belly."

"No, you can't even see it," he said.

"You're sure?"

"Positive," he said, "You look nice."

"Thanks," you said. Tyler had lifted his head up now, smiling at you like he was preparing to have his picture taken. "You look nice too," you added.

"I know," he said, propping himself up on one hand, "Are you ready to go?" When you nodded, he stood up, grabbing the pillow and hanging it over his neck.

"What are you doing?" you asked, half laughing, half in annoyance, because there was no way he was stealing that.

"Bringing it with us so you can have it when you sleep at my house tonight," he said, "Or I guess we can all come here if you're more comfortable here."

"I have to work tomorrow," you said.

"No, you don't," he said, and you looked at him with confusion. "It's going to be a snow day."

"No, it's not," you said. Snow was in the forecast, but you doubted you'd get much, if any.

" Yes, it is. I can feel it," he said, "we don't have to stay up late anyways. So, your house or mine?"

You considered this for a moment. "Do you have snacks at your house?"

"Yes," he laughed, "I went grocery shopping this morning."

"We can go there then."

"Do you need me to pack you a snack for the ride?" he teased, already walking out towards the car, that giant pillow still slung around his neck, which looked rather ridiculous.

You told him no, but you also didn't tell him that you already had emergency snacks in your purse. You slipped on your boots, watching through the open front door as he shoved the pillow into the trunk, laughing when you saw the dog's faces repeatedly popping up through the car window.

"Hi guys," you cooed, which only made them even more excited, and you could hear them whimpering excitedly from the car, a mess of paws and tails and tongues.

"Calm down," Tyler said firmly, "You guys are acting crazy."

You opened the door slowly, trying to lean over into the backseat as quickly as possible, wet noses and tongues being pushed in your face, and your swore there was a breeze just from how much their tails were wagging, three separate steady thumpings, all clamoring for your attention. "Hi, hi, hi," you said, trying to pet every one of them and give kisses, but it was hard because they kept trying to all get to you at once.

"Holy shit, you're acting like insane people," Tyler said, once he got in the car. He tried to put his hand back there to try and get them to calm down, but really it was just another obstacle getting in their way. "Okay, you've said hello, go lay down."

They either coudn't hear over the sound of tails wagging or panting, or were just ignoring them, and Tyler sighed dramatically, "Can you tell them to lay down? They'll probably listen to you."

You doubted it, but you said "go lay down," gently, and they slunk back into to the backseat. They never really laid down though, however, and when Tyler started driving, they all kept trying to climb up into the front seat.

"Holy shit, I did not think this through at all," he said, as you tried to use your arms to block them, but there were so many of them, and then you'd get licked on the face and it's throw everything off. "I thought if I brought them in to see you'd they'd just get hyped."

He glanced back over his shoulder as he pulled into the shopping plaza, which was luckily not far from your house. "Will you get sick if you ride in the backseat? Because you might have to."

"No," you said, grabbing your bag from under the seat after he'd parked.

"I'd come in with you, but I think I better stay here and make sure these guys don't trash my car," he said the last part sternly as if to make a point.

You walked quickly into the store, especially as you heard them crying after you left, followed by a couple of barks. It didn't take you long to find just what you were looking for, a nice fall-themed bouquet with sunflowers, chrysanthemums, and some roses.

When you went back outside the store, Tyler did not look impressed at all, pulling his hands down from where you assumed he had them pressed to his ears, but the dogs seemed to quiet when they saw you.

"Never leave again," Tyler said, as you opened the passenger door to set the flowers and your bag there, shutting it and then trying to open the back door, with three waiting labs in the window who looked like they were all about the jump out and run around the parking lot.

"Stay," you heard Tyler say sternly, and you opened the door slowly. "You guys gotta let me in if you want me to sit back here with you," you said, trying to climb in while Tyler tried to grab collars. Finally you got in and got your seatbelt buckled, and luckily they seemed to calm now that you were right there, more just taking an interesting in sniffing you, and you tried to pet them.

"I feel like a fucking chauffeur," Tyler grumbled, "nobody wants to sit with me."

"I tried," you said. Gerry had settled on the floor with his head between your legs, but Marshall and Cash were still wobbling round on the seat next to you , trying to find a comfortable position to lay down in and not fall off the seat as the car moved.

That's eyes flicked up to the rearview mirror and you caught him smiling. "Don't squish the baby," he instructed. "How is the baby?"

"I don't know, I can't see him," you said, settling your hand on Cash until he finally laid down. You were definately going to have dog hair all over you, but it'd probably happen eventually anyway.

"I meant how are you feeling," he said, and you could practically hear his eyes rolling.

"Not bad," you said, your hands petting the dogs, "I mean, I've been able to run a couple of times a week for the past month or so, so that's good."

"You can run with the baby?" Tyler asked, and you laughed, because it wasn't like you could disconnect him from you, "Isn't that bad for the baby?"

"No, it's good," you said, "you're just not supposed to do anything you weren't before you got pregnant. I'm not running a marathon either, just a little bit."

"Yeah, but I thought like yoga or something –," he said, "But, like, running? Doesn't the baby bounce around in there?"

You raised your eyebrows at the question, and Tyler glanced over his shoulder quickly. "Sorry, I mean, obviously you wouldn't do it if it was bad. I've just always wondered about that."

"No, there's fluid around the baby," you explained, "and your internal organs don't shift around when you move, anyways. It just, like, rocks the baby, I guess? The same as when you walk."

"Ohhhh," Tyler said, like it actually made sense now. "That's cool."

"I did sign up for a prenatal yoga class though," you said, even though you didn't really enjoy yoga, "They have classes you can do with babies afterwards, so I thought it would be good for meeting other Moms." It still kind of felt weird to actually call yourself a Mom, but none of your friends had babies, so you supposed that it would be important to have some people who could kind of relate to what you were going through.

"Oh, that's a great idea, babe."

"Yeah, there's a ton of stuff you can do with them when they're older, like Gymboree and music classes and stuff, but I don't really know what else I can do with him when all he can do is just lay there?" you said, "And there's storytime at libraries, but that's for kids under 5 and I don't really know what he's going to be like?"

"He's gonna be chill like his mama," Tyler said, "Are you gonna take him on baby dates?"

"Baby dates?" you said, "Like playdates?"

"Yeah, with girl babies."

"Tyler, he's not even born yet," you laughed.

"Probably neither are the girl babies he's going to be surrounded with," Tyler said, and then reconsidered, "Actually, maybe they are. Maybe he likes older women."

"You're ridiculous," you laughed.

"This is why you need mom friends," he said, "'Cause I know jack shit about babies."

When you turned onto his mom's street, the dog's heads popped up in succession. "Do you guys know where we're going?" you asked in your dog voice.

"Of course they do," Tyler said.

You struggled both to get your seatbelt undone and avoid being trampled by three large dogs. "Wait," you instructed as you opened the door and climbed out, the dogs jumping out and then sniffing around the yard. Since Tyler already had the flowers in his hands, you made kissing noises to encourage them to follow you to the front door, and Tyler opened the door, all of them pushing past him to get inside.

"Mom?" he yelled, "Your favourite son is here!"

You stepped inside, and Tyler's mom came out from the kitchen, wearing an apron with a little bit of flour smeared across. "Hi guys," she said brightly, bending down to pet the dogs, who had come up to her, tails wagging.

"We brought you these," Tyler said, holding out the flowers to her as you slipped your boots off, "And be 'we', I mean y/n did, but I drove, so you can give me 10% of the credit."

"Oh, they're beautiful," she said, taking them from him and hugging him as much as possible with the flowers, "I have just the spot for them, too."

"I'm so glad you could make it, Y/N" she said, looking like she was going to hug you and then stopping, looking down, and your heart froze for a second, "I'll have to take my apron off first, I don't want to get your nice dress dirty."

"I'm covered in dog hair anyways," you shrugged, hugging her.

"Thanks for caring about my outfit, Mom," Tyler grumbled, swiping at his shirt like it was actually dirty.

"Come on in, guys," she said, "You want a glass of wine while I finish cooking?"

"I think it's a little early for wine, Mom," Tyler pointed out.

You were following them into the kitchen, but you almost tripped over the dogs and had to put a hand on one of the their backs to steady yourself. You were not used to them being so underfoot.

There were two pumpkin pies sitting on the counter cooling, and they smelled absolutely amazing, that you almost wanted to just grab some right there, but the fact that it would be straight-up rude stopped you. "Oh my gosh, those look so good," you breathed, and you could here Tyler cough with a laugh from behind you.

"I feel like I need to put them in another room to cool because they're tempting," Jackie said, grabbing a vase to put the flowers into, while Tyler got a bowl, filling it with water and putting it down in the corner of the room for the dogs and you sat down at the kitchen table.

"Where are the girls?" Tyler asked, "I thought they were going to help you cook."

"They were," she said, "But they're coming later now. They're going to pick up Nana since it's getting icy out."

"Yeah, Y/N doesn't think it's going to snow," Tyler said, flashing a look it your direction.

"I was a little worried your flight was going to get canceled," she said.

"They're not going to cancel flights," Tyler said in disbelief, laughing like she was nuts for worrying about such a thing, "But, Y/N isn't going to have to go to work tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah, you really shouldn't if it's snowing," Jackie said.

"See?" Tyler said to you, "I told you I was right."

"You guys don't have to stay in the kitchen," she said, going back to peeling potatoes, "You can grab a drink and go sit down in the living room, it's more comfortable."

"Oh, no, we can help," you said. You'd just been waiting to see what needed to be done. It went like this every time you came over for a big dinner, actually.

"Yeah, Y/N's a great cook, and I'm really good at following directions," Tyler said, "and if we help now that means Candace and Cassidy should have to do the dishes."

"But I thought you guys would want to relax."

"No, we came to spend time with you," Tyler said, while you looked around the kitchen trying to determine what hadn't been done already. You realized the dressing hadn't been started yet, so you immediately stood up and got what you needed to start chopping vegetables.

"At least put an apron on first," Jackie said, finally giving in, and you took the one that she held out for you. "Tyler, you can get started on the cranberry sauce. There's a recipe on the bag on cranberries."

It was nice, actually, because you hadn't been able to enjoy cooking for awhile, and the company was pretty awesome too, the three of your walking about the kitchen, stepping over the labs who had placed themselves on the floor.

"Cash, you gotta move, I gotta get in this cupboard," Jackie said, gently nudging the dog out of the way, "They're really clingy today."

"They missed you guys," Tyler said, looking up from where he was stirring the cranberries on the stove, a ruffled apron tied around his waist, which both look ridiculous and didn't seem practical at all. "Plus, there's food. They're happy."

It was going well until you started sautéing the veggies, and had to stand at the stove, which was incredibly difficult, because Tyler was hovering over the cranberry sauce, his elbows sticking out, and you basically had to stand to the side of the stove to get in there.

"This is going to be the best cranberry sauce you've ever had," he announced, and both you and his mom snickered, "That wasn't funny, I'm serious."

"I'm sure it'll be great, honey," she said, settling a hand on his shoulder, "I need to get in here to baste the turkey."

"But, Mom, the cranberry sauce..." he whined.

"It'll be fine for two minutes," she said and he reluctantly moved out of the way.

You were trying not to laugh at how concerned he looked, pulling your pan off the element because it was on high heat, and they were almost done anyways. You were getting some fresh herbs out of the fridge, setting them on the counter and then looking for some herb scissors when the oven door opened, and immediately, all you could smell was meat. You tried to swallow, turning your head, but then you saw the half-cooked turkey and Tyler gave you a weird look, and then said "oh shit" when you made a movement like you were gagging, his eyes widening and his hands going out as if he was going to try and catch your vomit or something.

You pushed passed him, running to the bathroom, and you didn't even notice that he was followed you until you felt your hair being held back. Well, this was great.

"Are you alright?" he asked gently when you were done, his hand rubbing over your upper back.

"Yes," you sat back, running your hand over your face. "Other than the fact that your mom's going to think I throw up every time I come to her house now."

"I mean," Tyler said, smiling a little, "Just think about all the times you've come here and you haven't thrown up."

Yeah, because that helped.

"Don't worry," he said, "We'll just tell her you have your period, and then you can lay down while we finish cooking. Or do you want to go home?"

You shook your head. "I feel better. It's just...the smells," you said, taking a deep breath. You didn't feel like you were going to be sick again, but you didn't want to take any chances. "Could you get me my prescription bottle from my purse, please? I think I left it in the car."

"Yeah, sure," he said, standing up.

You probably should have taken a pill before you came, as a preemptive measure, but you really felt fine until the oven door opened.

You were rinsing out your mouth when there was a knock on the door, and you reached open to open it, assuming it was Tyler with your bag. But it wasn't.

"Are you alright, honey?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah, yeah," you said quickly, washing your hands now and shaking them off, going for a towel, "I've just got this...hormonal thing going on. It makes me a little sick sometimes. I'm fine now though."

"You're sure?" she asked.

"Yeah," you smiled, trying to be convincing, all the while racking your brain trying to think of how you could explain this better. Maybe a new birth control pill or something, or....Tyler really needed to hurry the fuck up.

"Okay," she said, resting her hand on your shoulder, "I just remembered, I got you something. Maybe that'll help you feel better."

She left, and you exhaled, because she seemed to buy it. You ran your wrists under cold water again, because the whole thing had made you sweat, and then dried your hands again.

"Here you go," she said when she came back, handing you something in a container, and you looking down to read it, and your eyes widened and your throat immediately went dry while all the moisture seemed to go to your eyes because it very clearly said, Preggie Pop Drops and had a huge pregnant woman on it.

"I had really bad morning sickness with all of my kids, and these really helped," she said, "I mean not that you're —"

Your mouth literally dropped open, looking down at the container and the floor and then back to her and then back again. "Whaaa," you breathed, "How did...how did you know?"

"What?" she questioned. "I mean, you've been sick, and your surgery, and Tyler said..."

"Tyler said I'm pregnant?" you said. This didn't make any sense, why wouldn't he have said something.

"What? No," she said quickly. "I meant with your endometreosis, and I know it's not the same, but I thought it would help, maybe, with hormonal nausea. I didn't mean to imply.."

But it was too late, because the tears that had already starting welling up in your eyes started to drip down your face when you blinked, and Jackie looked at you, her arms extended half out towards you and she asked quietly, "You're....you're pregnant?"

You nodded, because what else could you do, and her hands came to touch your arms, "That's...that's..." she said, looking at you like she didn't know quiet how to react, how you were feeling. Because she likely knew you weren't in a relationship, and she probably thought maybe you were crying because you were scared.

"I'm really happy," you smiled through the tears, and then she smiled full, pulling you into a hug.

"That's fantastic. Congratulations," she said, hugging you, even though you were crying onto her shoulder. "Does Tyler know?" she whispered into your ear and you laughed a little.

"Yeah, yeah, he knows."

"That's fantastic," she repeated again, "Congratulations, sweetheart."

She was just hugging you, still and you let yourself soak up the amazing feeling for a moment. You thought, maybe, that she was crying a little too.

"What happened?" Tyler's voice came from the doorway, and both of you turned your heads to look at him, and he looked slightly concerned, at both of you crying, holding your purse in one hand and a cup in the other.

"Nothing," Jackie said, "Y/N was just telling me the wonderful news that she's expecting."

He smiled, setting the bag and cup down on the bathroom counter, his arms going around both of you, and you smiled even more when you felt fur brush up against your leg.

"See, Y/N was worried you'd be upset, but I told her you'd be happy."

You stiffened immediately, and you felt her do the same, and then she pulled back slowly. "What? Why would I be upset, Tyler?" she asked, and then, "Is it...is it yours?"

"Mom...."

"I didn't even know you guys were together...I didn't think I had no idea," she said, looking back and forth between you.

"We-we're not," you and Tyler said at the exact same time, stutter and all.

"But it's yours?" she asked in a quieter voice this time.

"No, yes, no, yes, no," you said, each word echoed with a pound of your heart in your chest.

"You don't know?" Jackie asked you. And she looked...straight-up betrayed, and your eyes filled up with even more tears.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered.

"How-" she said, but Tyler grabbed her arm.

"Mom, c'mon, Mom," he said, pulling her from the room. And oh god, oh god, oh god. You turned back to face the mirror, having trouble looking at yourself, because you wondering if you'd just ruined everything. The Thanksgiving dinner, the whole year, and everything that might come after that.

You could hear Tyler, talking to her in a hushed voice, and her responding, her voice higher, almost sounded panicked, but you couldn't make out a word of what they were saying. You wondered if you should leave, but you came here with Tyler. You didn't know what to do. And you started feeling sick again, so you took reached into your purse, taking out your prescription bottle, taking one of them with the glass of juice Tyler had left on the counter.

You paced, running your hands over your face, and wondering if maybe you should call Danielle or your sister, but they were half an hour a way of course. And you tried to make out the words, but you really couldn't, and you weren't sure you wanted to. You realized the dogs were with you, or course they were, looking up at you concerned, and you bent down, petting them, and getting your face licked.

Eventually, Tyler came back into the doorway of the bathroom, looking at you, and suddenly looking so much older, like he was weary, his hair messed up like he'd been threading his hands through it. "Come with me," he said.

Your eyebrows lifted, "We're leaving?"

"No," he said, reaching for your hand, "We're just going to go for a walk. Come get your shoes on."

You followed him, throughout the house to the front door, not even sure where his Mom was, putting your boots back on, in some type of trance. You didn't know what to do or say.

The dogs followed you of course, but Tyler looked at them, "You guys stay here. We'll come back."

He took your hand again, pulling you up from where you'd been sitting, taking you outside into the cold air, and you flipped back to reality again. "What did you say to her?"

"I told her the truth," he said simply.

"The truth?" you repeated.

"Yeah," he said, "Everything that happened. Why you wanted this. Why I'm doing this. How we did this."

You didn't say anything, but just walked.

"Well, I didn't tell her about the part where we had sex," he said, with a laugh, and you couldn't understand how he seemed relaxed about this, "but I told her we went to the clinic and did a sperm donation."

"Did you tell her we signed papers?" You asked.

"Uh...vaguely?" He questioned, running his hand through his hair. "Why?"

"I don't want her to think I'm taking advantage of you," you said. It had to be a worry, of hers you assumed, that someone might be after his money.

" What?" Tyler sounded completely taken aback, "Babe, she knows you. You're not just....some girl or whatever. You didn't even ask me, for God's sake. I offered. I told her that."

You walked with that for a moment, unsure if she'd be worried about his financial well-being, or his emotional well-being, or that he'd made a rash decision, or what her family was kind of giving up, without having a say in the manner.

"Was she mad at you?" you asked tentatively, because the last thing you wanted was to ruin their relationship.

"Mad?" he asked, his face screwed up in confusion, "No, she's not mad at me."

You breathed again, walking for a few more steps and then kept your face focused on the ground, "How mad is she at me?"

Tyler stopped dead in his tracks, his arm catching yours where your hand was intertwined with his. "What?" he asked in disbelief, "She's not mad at you at all."

"But..." you said, because you felt kind of like you'd taken something away from her. Like you'd robbed her of something.

"Babe, she's not mad, she's not...like that. She loves you," he said, "she's just in shock, alright? She needs some time alone to absorb it all. Well, she has the dogs. She'll be...it's okay."

You didn't say anything, even as you started to walk again. "You didn't do anything wrong," Tyler said, "You know that right? And I didn't either."

You couldn't even say anything else, neither of you did, and when you got back to his mother's house 20 minutes later, the door opened before you even got there. She looked sort of like she'd been crying, but you had to suppose that you did too. She enveloped you in a hug before you had a chance to try and say anything, even though you didn't know what it'd be that you would say. "I'm sorry if I made you feel...." she said, "A baby's a good thing. It's a good thing."

You let out all the air and tension that you'd been holding. You weren't even sure if she'd had enough time to wrap her head around the whole thing, but you were so thankful that she wasn't upset. She pulled back after a moment, looking at you, "I'd love it if you'd stayed," she said. "If you're feeling up to it, of course."

" Yeah," you smiled, "I am."

" Oh, I could make you something else to eat, if you want too," she offered. "Or you don't have to eat at all, if you don't want. We could say you had a work thing and already ate if you haven't told..."

"I haven't, I'll tell them at Christmas, Tyler said, " And she really likes grilled cheese." His Mom smiled, eyes connecting with yours and you just knew she was thinking of when you'd had a grilled cheese at the hockey game.

"No, I'm good," you replied honestly, " I'm really, really looking forward to pumpkin pie."

" Well, you can always just push all the other stuff around on your plate a bit and we'll give you twice as much pie," she smiled, and you could feel Tyler settling his chin on your shoulder, but Jackie was still looking at you. "How far along are you? If that's..."

You realized she was forming the word 'okay', which meant she was trying to respect your boundaries, which was touching and made you want to tear up, even though you didn't mind at all. "Almost 21 weeks," you smiled, trying to put her at ease, to let her know it was okay to ask.

"21 weeks?! Where are you hiding it?"

"He's in there," you said, smoothing your dress over your belly. It really, really depended on the clothes you wore, how apparent it looked, but you'd also been told you didn't show as soon with your first pregnancy.

"He?" She asked, her eyes flicking from your belly back up to your eyes, "Do you know? Is it?"

"Yeah, he's a boy," you confirmed.

And then she was hugging you all over again, pulling you close. "I'm really very happy for you."

"You should see him, Mom, he's super cute," Tyler said.

"Who's super cute?" Cassidy called from halfway up the driveway.

"Gerry," Tyler answered, already pulling out his phone to pull up a picture, you presumed.

Luckily, the actual dinner went off nicely, with plenty of Tyler encouraging everyone to try the cranberry sauce and pointing out how good it was. There was also a slight problem with the pups wanting to lie under the table, and Tyler had to go tell them go lie down somewhere else.

And now you were settled back in the car, in the front seat this time because Cassidy and Candace had played with the dogs after dinner, and they seemed to be exhausted enough that they could be content within a couple feet of you rather than having to be touching you. You had a container of extra pumpkin pie settled in your lap, as well as some other leftovers, with explicit instructions for Tyler to drive very carefully and watch out for black ice.

You shifted again, probably for the 10th time in the past 5 minutes, and Tyler looked over at you again. "Do you need to go pee or something? I said I don't mind stopping."

"No," you said, shifting and pulling at your clothes again. "These tights are maternity tights so they go all the way up, and my belly's really itchy."

Tyler looked at you in disbelief. "You could take them off?"

You supposed you could, but you were also wearing knee high boots and you'd have to take them off and then trying to maneuver out of the tights in the car. But you were also really itchy.

You sighed, turning and placing the leftovers in the floor on the backseat, unzipping your boots and then putting them back there as well, shimmying and tugging the tights down and under the seat belt, grunting as you finally pulled them off your feet. Finally, your skin could breathe again. When you sat back up, Tyler was looking at you with an amused expression on his face. "That was entertaining."

"Shouldn't you be watching the road?"

"We're at a stoplight," he pointed out, and you realized now that the car was stopped, and you probably could have taken off your seatbelt, which would have been helpful.

When you got back to Tyler's house, he instructed you to 'stay there' and you watched as he jogged to the house, leaving the front door open. You barely had time to process any of it to interpret what he might be doing, just undoing your seatbelt and going to grab your boots from the backseat, reaching around to open the door for the dogs so they could hop out and do their business before bed, when he was back, opening your door and kneeling down so his back was to you. "Hop on."

" What?" You laughed.

"Hop on," he said again, "I won't drop you, I promise."

It seemed a little excessive, but the cold air was whipping around and he was just crouching there, so you swung your leg around, getting into a piggy back position, his arms tucking under your legs.

He walked slowly, the dogs circling you and barking like they didn't know if they should be alarmed or not. "Shhhh..." Tyler said, "Don't wake up the neighbours. "

Once you were inside he eased you down gently until your feet hit the floor. "Told you I wouldn't drop you," he said cockily and with a smirk, going back out the car and returning a moment later with your pillow, the leftovers, and your purse. "C'mon, mama, it's been a long day, let's go to bed," he said and then looked you up and down. "I guess you should have brought pyjamas. I'll get you some."

You followed him into the bedroom, sitting on the side of the bed, watching as he ruffled through his dresser. "Yours will probably fit me better anyway," you said, and he flashed you a smile, you petting the dogs that had followed you in. You stood up when he gave you a pair of flannel on pants and a t-shirt, your purse in your hand to take into the bathroom with you.

" Do you think all six of us will fit in bed?" He asked.

"Six?"

" Yeah, one, two, three, four, five," he said, pointing and you and himself and then each of the dogs, and then at your belly, "six."

You laughed, thinking that it was a very good thing your pregnancy pillow was c-shaped and not u-shaped. "We can try, I guess."

You went into the bathroom, taking your time getting changed and ready for bed, unwinding from the day. When you came out, Tyler was laying on his back in bed, the sheets pulled up to above his belly button, and your pregnancy pillow was in the empty space next to him, blankets pulled back as if ready for you. He had the episode of Grey's Anatomy you were on pulled up on the TV, and the dogs were walking around the bedroom, like they were just waiting for you too.

You climbed into your spot, pulling the blanket over you, and then you felt the three dogs jump into the bed in turn, walking around until they found a spot and then laid down. They were taking up less space than usual with the giant pillow between you and Tyler taking up a usual spot, but you were pretty sure they weren't going to sacrifice not sleeping with you.

" You smell different," Tyler said, and then frowned. "Good different. You put something on?"

" Yeah, some belly butter," you said.

Now that the dogs had settled in the bottom half of your bed and both you and Tyler had secured yourself enough space, you rolled over to face him, your leg coming up over your pillow. "I'm sorry," you said softly.

He turned over to face you, his face gentle. "For what?"

"For telling your mom," you said, "She bought me these nausea candies for pregnancy and I thought she knew, but she thought it was just my endometriosis making me sick. I kind of let it slip."

"I've kind of been playing that up," Tyler admitted. "Maybe I should have told her sooner. I don't know."

"But I know you had something planned..."

"I don't know what the fuck I had planned," he said with a laugh. "It was fine the way it happened. She was the only one I was worried about anyways. It went well."

"You said you weren't worried.."

Tyler smiled at you. "I wasn't. I just mean, I felt like she would be the most...emotionally invested? It was okay, don't apologize," he said, leaning over to place a kiss on your forehead. "I think it all worked out like it was supposed to."


	25. Chapter 25

"It's snowing," you heard Tyler whisper in an excited dog voice, from across the room, and you snuggled further into the bed, feeling a dog stretched out across your back. But the room felt too bright for the it to be earlier than your alarm, and you sat up with a start.

"What time is it?"

"I don't know, 9:30, 9:40?" Tyler said, he was standing in the doorway, wearing the boxers he'd worn to bed, sipping what you presumed was coffee out of a mug.

"9:30?!" you said, scrambling for your phone where you'd left it on the nightstand. Your alarm should have gone off hours ago. "Where is my phone?"

You looked at Tyler, who was grinning at you and trying not to laugh. "Tyler, this isn't funny. I had an appointment at 9. There's probably a student waiting outside my office."

"No, there's not," he laughed, "Everything's cancelled."

"You don't know that," you said, trying to get out of bed but you were surrounded by dogs who were looking up at you concerned, probably sensing your freakout.

"Yeah, the dean sent you an email," he said, pointing at the nightstand on the other side of the bed, and you reached over grabbing it, seeing that he was right.

"You read my e-mails?"

"Yeah, and turned your alarm off," he said, "The baby was sleeping. Isn't that rule number one? Don't wake a sleeping baby?"

You were actually pretty sure the baby was awake when you were laying still and sleeping when you were moving around, but you weren't going to point that out. You sat up, stretching your hands overhead.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" he asked.

"Is that what you're drinking?" you laughed.

Tyler nodded, taking another sip. "It's a snow day."

"Are you a child?"

"Yes," he said, "Also, I don't have decaf coffee."

"You're not drinking regular coffee anymore?"

"No, I am," he said, "But you can't?"

"I can have one cup. That's what I've been doing."

"Oh, okay," Tyler said, "I'll make some."

"I can do it," you said, unwinding your legs from the pillow and from the dogs.

Tyler gave you a sheepish look, "Well, I need you to make the pancakes because you're better at it than me? I got all the stuff out," he said, "Besides, I want coffee, too."

"Were you only drinking hot chocolate because you thought I couldn't drink coffee?" You asked, petting the dogs as you swung your legs over the side of the bed.

"Uh, no, I'm already drinking twice as much alcohol for you, which is a sacrifice. I can't do coffee too," he said, and then looked at the dogs, "C'mon, boys, time to go outside."

You got up, walking to the bathroom, and Tyler whined, "Where are you going?"

"I have to pee."

He sighed dramatically, sitting down on the side of the bed. "I guess we'll just wait until you're done then because they're not coming with me."

You rolled your eyes, not really believing him, but when you came out, they were still in bed waiting for you expectantly. Tyler, however, was pulling open the blinds, and you could see a thick, fresh blanket of snow covering the backyard, flakes still falling gently.

" Oh my god, it's snowing," you said in disbelief.

" Yes, I know, " Tyler said incredulously, "that's what I said."

"I know," you said, walking closer to the window, "I just didn't think it would be so much." It was always kind of magical, the first snowfall of the year.

Your stomach growled and you were torn away from the window to go to the kitchen, where Tyler had already sat out the pancake mix and a bowl. Of course, the dogs trailed after you both, and Tyler made kissy noises to encourage them to follow him to the door, where he opened it, and then you immediatelty heard the some of them running outside excitedly once they released it was snowing, leaving pawprints everywhere. You watched them running around for a moment, noses to the snow, before you started mixing the pancake batter. Tyler had apparently gone outside with them, as you could hear him talking to them in an excited voice, and you took the opportunity to sneak in the fridge while you waited for the pan to heat up.

"Whatcha doing?" Tyler asked a moment after you heard boot stomping and the door, and you swallowed the bite of pumpkin pie that was in your mouth.

"I was hungry," you said.

"You could have had fruit," he pointed out, "Or Greek yogurt, which has protein."

"Pumpkin has lots of vitamins," you said, and Tyler rolled his eyes, and you patted your stomach, "the baby wanted pumpkin pie."

"No, the baby wants pancakes," Tyler insisted.

"I'll have pancakes, too," you said, pouring some onto the pan.

"Do you want some hot chocolate in your coffee?" He asked, and you raised an eyebrow Its question. "It's festive," he insisted.

"Uh, sure," you said, rummaging in the drawer for a spatula. There was a bark from the back door and Tyler went down to open it, while you watched the pancakes.

"Sorry, you guys can't have any hot chocolate," you heard Tyler say in his dog voice, "But I have food for you. Are you hungry? Are you hungry?" His voice seemed to get higher and higher, and you smiled as the dogs danced around him, waiting for their breakfast.

"Here babe," Tyler said, giving you a warm mug, which you accepted gratefully. It actually was kind of festive, as he said.

"Could you grab a plate, please?" You asked, stacking the pancakes on the spatula, "These ones are ready."

You slid them onto the plate he held out for you, and you started pouring the next batch into the pan. You assumed Tyler was preparing his plate, as you saw him getting maple syrup out of the fridge from the corner of your eye, but then he said, "it's ready," and you looked over your shoulder at the plate at the plate on the table.

"Hmm?" You asked.

"Your breakfast is ready," he said, "I made it for you. Well, I put it on a plate for you."

You looked down at the plate, which had the pancakes on them, slathered with peanut butter and then drizzled with maple syrup, some berries added on top.

"You put peanut butter on my pancakes?" You asked.

"Mhmm," he said, sidestepping you to take the spatula from your hand, "It's what the baby wanted."

"It's what the baby wanted or it's what you wanted?" You asked, grabbing your mug of coffee laced with hot chocolate because it didn't look half bad.

"Him," Tyler answered, "he told me."

"Oh, he told you? When did he tell you?" You said, sitting down at the kitchen table, and started to cut yourself a bite.

"While you were sleeping, we had a lovely chat," Tyler said, "Besides, you need to keep up your energy, we have a busy day ahead."

"A busy day?" You asked.

" Yeah, of playing in the snow," Tyler said, sitting down at the table, and looking down at the dogs who dogs who were either sitting or laying on the kitchen floor now. "Are you guys so excited to play in the snow?"

"I guess I can watch," you said, taking a bite of your pancakes.

" But I thought you were going to be a fun mom," Tyler pouted.

"I don't have clothes, Tyler," you said. Your thin sweater was not going to cut it.

"You can borrow clothes," he said, "I've got plenty of jackets and gloves and stuff too."

"I don't have shoes, and yours are gonna be huge." All you had was your boots from last night, and those were dress boots. You were pretty sure you had a pair of flip-flops kicking around his house, but you were not wearing those in the snow. No matter how sweetly he looked at you.

"I have some women's snow boots," Tyler said between bites.

"Why do you have women's snow boots?" You asked slowly and he rolled his eyes.

"My sister left them here, I don't remember which one," he said, "But the three of you wear basically the same size so it'll be fine."

You agreed, listening to the neighborhood kids outside yip and yell with excitement in the snow. After breakfast, Tyler gave you an assortment of clothes and, after you changed and put on the boots he gave you (which were a half size too big, but not bad), he was rummaging through the closet and handing you a coat, already ready to go himself. As you were zipping it up, you were hit with something in the face, and you bent down to pick it up: a Dallas Stars toque, of course.

"Don't look too enthused," Tyler said dryly, and you laughed.

"I'm going to get pummeled with snowballs," you said, "This is Leafs territory."

"Nah, your guard dogs will protect you," Tyler said, looking down at the dogs who were looking up at you, tails wagging expectantly. "Won't you boys?"

You followed them out into the front yard, where Tyler practically immediately plopped down on his back and started making a snow angel. Gerry, of course, seeing as his Dad's face was now accessible, starting licking it, and Tyler's gloved covered hands went up to try and block him. "No....Gerry....stop!" he said, even though he was grabbing at the dog and pulling him closer, "You're such a bad dog." He said it, in a light voice, and you were certain that his dogs thought 'bad dog' was a praise, especially with the way that his tail was wagging and his licks were getting more enthusiastic. You, on the other hand, took to scooping up snowballs, tossing them into the air for the older dogs to jump towards, trying to catch them but biting them instead, and then getting confused because they didn't know where their ball went.

Tyler stood up suddenly, gliding his feet through the snow, "C'mon, c'mon," he said in a high voice, and the dogs got even more excited, starting to zoom around the yard, following him into the back. You were much slower, as you definately were not running, but the dogs kept circling back to you anyways. When you got to the backyard, Tyler was emerging from the shed with a sled hung over his head and a grin on his face, tossing it down on the snow.

"Why do you have a sled?" you asked, halfheartedly petting the dogs as they past by you.

"For the dogs," he said, "You kid can use it when he's old enough if he asks nicely, though."

"How do you use a sled with dogs?" you asked with a laugh.

"Like this," Tyler said, plopping on it and sliding down the little bit of a hill he'd climbed up, the dogs running all around him and then kissing and sniffing him when he stopped. "Also," Tyler said, getting back up and walking halfway up the hill and then setting the sled down, "Gerry, Gerry," he said, pointing at the sled, "Go snowboarding."

He actually did jump on the sled, for riding it for about a foot before he jumped off.

You'd never seen this sled before, which meant that he must have just bought it to play with the dogs by himself, which was a little bit hilarious. After awhile, you sat down on the unused sled, as it was the only dry place to sit, watching as Tyler took videos of the dogs playing in the snow, and then he turned his phone towards you. "Smile."

"Tyler..." you said. You were not really in the mood to have your picture taken, in this giant coat of his, and that stupid Dallas Stars toque.

"Oh, yeah, wait for the dogs," he said, making kissing noises to call them over, "Get her, get her."

You laughed as they starting kissing you, and you tried to stop yourself from falling backwards into the snow.

"Put your hand on your stomach," Tyler said, "Like you're pregnant."

You obliged, but part of you wondered if he was this crazy about taking pictures of you when you were pregnant, what he'd be like once the baby was actually here. But you didn't mind, anyways, because it wasn't like taking pictures of your outside was on your mind anyways, it was more the ultrasound photos you were obsessed with. After he took the picture he moved behind you, pushing the sled with his foot, and you screamed as you went down the hill, which, thankfully wasn't very big, but you could hear him laughing the whole time, and starting launching snowballs at him as soon as you stopped, which he dodged.

You played outside for probably a couple more hours, and then you went inside, cleaning up all your wet gear and the dogs. You had a bath, because you had a bit of headache and that always seemed to help, while Tyler made grilled cheese sandwiches and the dogs took a nap. By the time you were finished with your lunch, the snow had really started to slow down, just an occasional snow flake every now and then.

"You have a snow shovel at your house, right?" Tyler asked, looking back at you from the window.

"Yeah," you confirmed.

"We should probably head over there."

"Why?"

"I want to get your driveway shoveled," he said.

"Tyler, you don't have to do that."

"I want to get your driveway shoveled," he repeated, "You can grab clothes and your own shoes or whatever too."

"The roads," you said, looking outside. Both of you lived on more side streets, so it wasn't like the roads would be plowed until later anyways.

"We can walk," Tyler said, "The dogs will love it. What else are we going to do, anyways?"

And so, you set off with the three dogs, and the sled, which Tyler had set a small bag of deicer on, pulling it behind him after you talked him out of trying to attach it to one of the dog's harnesses and trying to tell them to mush. You'd tossed the leashes in there, too, after letting them all off, because they weren't going far. And it was an incredibly slow-going walk because there were tons of kids out who all wanted to pet the dogs, but that was fine.

"You guys are so popular," you said, after probably the sixth group of kids had come to say hello.

"Yeah," Tyler said, "I can't believe no one has complimented you on your hat though."

You shook your head, even though he probably loved at the attention his dogs were getting more. The roads weren't too bad for walking, until you got to the place to a hilly section, and then you were having trouble getting traction, especially because the boots were a little too big on you, and your feet kept slipping in them. Tyler had insisted that you hook elbows which him, which was a little embarrassing, especially when you passed by an older couple who weren't even trying to help each other not slip.

After your foot slipped a little again, Tyler sighed, letting go of your elbow. "Get in the sled."

"I'm not going to fall," you insisted, you weren't even close to falling, it was just your feet slipping.

"Yeah, I know," he said, "Because you're going to be in the sled."

You were still doubtful, because you were a grown woman, and the only people you saw getting pulled in sleds were children. And it wasn't like you were actually going to fall.

"C'mon," Tyler said, "It'll be my workout for the day." As if you weren't going to have him shovel your driveway.

He was unmoving, though, so you got in, settling yourself, until you got to the base of a hill. "I can get up and walk up the hill," you said.

Tyler looked over his shoulder, smirking at you. "Umm, I'm a professional athlete, remember?"

You rolled your eyes, but you weren't even two feet up when Gerry tried to walk on, settling between your legs, and you tried to grab him so he didn't tumble over. He definitely still thought he was smaller than he actually was. At least he seemed to inherently know that he couldn't go in your lap anymore.

"You're the youngest," Tyler grumbled, "You shouldn't need a ride." He was definitely doing a lot of grumbling as he pulled you up the hill, but you could tell it was exaggerated. He did, however, stop, when he got to the top and bent over a little bit, like he was trying to catch his breath. "I can't believe I just pulled three people up the hill."

"One person," you clarified, and he gave you a pointed look.

"The baby weighs less than a pound," you said, "And Gerry's a dog, he's not a person."

Tyler gave an exaggerated gasp, as Gerry jumped off the sled, following his brothers to investigate a tree. "Don't let him hear you say that."

You were watching the dogs, as you got closer to your house, now on fairly flat ground, but you let out an noise of surprise that Tyler couldn't even hear over the sound of crunching snow, and then an "oh my god".

"What?" Tyler asked, looking behind him. You were smiling, so he followed your gaze to the dogs, "What did they do?"

You shook your head, your hand going to where you felt the sensation. "I think the baby just kicked." You though maybe you'd felt movements before, but it really wasn't distinct and you couldn't tell if it was from the baby, or just a figment of your imagination, or you misinterpreting something from your body. But this felt like an actual thumping, like a foot or hand hitting you from inside or something.

You were actually shocked you were crying, just smiling, even as the dogs came back over, licking your face again.

"Really?" Tyler asked, smiling back at you, "Do you think he'll do it again?"

You shook your head because you had no idea, and Tyler waited for a minute before he started walking again, "See? He likes playing in the snow."

You were now trying to mentally calculate how old he'd be during the first snowfall next year. He'd probably be old enough to sir in the sled, just as long as someone sat with him.

Once you got to your house, you went inside because you had to pee again, of course, and you also wanted to get your actual snow clothes, and change your boots, and grab a couple of other things while Tyler got started on the driveway, but it wasn't long before the dogs were barking at your door. You brought some water out for them, because you figured they might be thirsty, although they'd also eaten a lot of freshly fallen snow, so you weren't entirely sure.

"Tyler?" you said, tossing all the stuff you were planning to take with you on the sled, and he looked up at you, "I think I'm going to go to the store while you're doing this."

"You want to drive?" he asked.

"No, walk," you said, "It's just around the corner. I really want peppermint ice cream."

"Ice cream? It's cold out." Exactly. Which meant it wouldn't melt on the way back to his place.

You shrugged, "I'm not cold," you said, "There's so much blood in my body, I'm never cold."

He gave you kind of a weird look. "We can go to the store after. Don't leave me here with the dogs by myself. They'll be pissed."

You laughed, sitting down on the snow now that you had your snow pants on, settling back on the your arms, which was a bad idea because, the next thing you knew, a bunch of fresh powder was being sent towards your face, and you sighed, Tyler standing there laughing with the shovel in his arms.

You leaned over, gathering several snowballs, and trying to hit him, but your aim was horrible. "Get him," you said to the dogs, who were running back and forth between you two at that point, and they went over to him, but didn't do much once they were there, and he want back to shoveling.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asked, "Should we get something, too? Or you want grilled cheese again?"

"Umm..." you considered,, "We could make pizza."

"Make pizza?" he asked, "Isn't that a lot of work?"

"No," you said, "It's fine."

You mentally considered what he had in his house and what you had at yours, going back to grab some yeast for the dough. You'd just have to grab some toppings at the store.

When you went back out, Tyler was almost done, sprinkling the deicer over your driveway now. "So, its not supposed to snow anymore, but if it does, I don't want you trying to shovel it yourself. Call my dad, he'll do it for you," he said, "Or call my mom. She's strong."

"I'm strong," you protested, and he gave you a pathetic look.

"I don't want you hurting yourself," he said, "Promise?"

You nodded, because he looked serious, "If it's that bad, I won't go in," you said. "Or I'll take the bus."

"Okay," he said, "But, really, you can ask my dad if you need help carrying stuff or something, he won't mind. Or ask me and I can ask him."

"Okay," you agreed, because you could see that it was important to Tyler that you did, even though you didn't anticipate needing something heavy lifted.

You walked over to the store, where Tyler made you wait outside with the dogs while he went in, because he didn't want them going nuts if you went in. He was taking a pretty long time, though, and you were contemplating calling him when he came out with two bags, which was way too much based on what he went in to get.

"Here's the ice cream bag," he said, handing the bigger bag to you and setting the other one in the sled.

"How much did you buy?" you asked with a laugh, starting to look through it.

He shrugged, "You can take whatever we don't eat home with you," he said, and then, "Oh fuck."

"What?"

"I forgot pickles," he said, looking at you, "Y'know, for your ice cream."

You rolled your eyes, looking through the bag. He'd gotten peppermint bark ice cream, chocolate peppermint gelato, some coconut milk mint chip ice cream, and some mint chip Halo Top.

"That's good for you," he said, "Protein."

"Why are you obsessed with my protein intake? My baby's not a body builder."

"It's good for you. I got regular stuff too. Lots of it." he said, stopping and digging in the bag to pull something else out: Pumpkin Pie Halo Top. "I thought you might like this. It was on clearance." he said, taking the whole bag from you and adding it to the sled.

"You didn't have to buy so much," you said.

"Well, it's not all for you. I want some too."

You walked back to his house successfully, and now you were working on making the pizzas while he was working on packing up his suitcases so he'd be ready to go tomorrow. The snow made everything so quiet, although you could still hear some of the kids in the neighbourhood out playing even though it was getting dark. It was nice, really.

You'd made the dough and were getting started on prepping the toppings when Tyler came back in, leaning around you to show you something on his phone: a picture of all three dogs in the bed, cuddled up around your pregnancy pillow.

"It probably smells like you," Tyler said, "But I'm not sure where we're sleeping tonight."

You had an easy evening, sitting on the couch and eating your dinner, and then a sampling of each of the ice creams while you were watching your Grey's Anatomy marathon. Tyler had turned the fireplace on but the door was open just a little, so it was the perfect temperature, and the cool, fresh air from outside was coming in. You were sitting on the couch with your legs pulled up, which felt really great on your hips, Tyler laying down on the couch with his arm extended under his head.

A sex scene came on, which really wasn't unusual, but it was unusual for Tyler to be right there and not over the phone while you were watching it, and you were suddenly aware of the fact that the back of his hand, which felt surprisingly warm, was just gently touching your knee. You pulled your knee a little closer to you, so you were no longer touching, and then Tyler's hand moved back. So you did moved it again, and the same thing happened, a frown appearing on his face, even though his eyes were still on the television. You did it again, and this time his whole hand came up and covered your knee.

"What are you doing?" you whisper-yelled.

"What are you doing?" he said with a smirk on his face, still not even looking at you.

"I...." you said, stopping when you realized you couldn't explain that him just touching you was making your whole body heat up and your heart beat a little quicker.

He turned his head now, resting it in his chin, innocently tracing patterns with his finger on the couch, "Are you having problems with me touching you?" he asked.

"No," you said, "Of course not."

"Great," he said, settling his palm on your knee again, deliberately shifting his hand two inches higher, watching for your reaction. He wasn't just resting it there, but he wasn't squeezing your thigh either, but he'd placed his hand in such a way that every centimetre of his hand was flush against the curve of your leg, and you could feel that, even through the pyjama pants you were wearing. You'd inhaled sharply when he moved his hand, and then you were stuck staring at it, seeing how big it looked against your legs. He started moving it back and forth, perpendicular to your body, still nowhere close to anywhere inappropriate but you shivered.

"Are you sure you're not having a problem?" he asked, running his other hand over his beard, "Like, libido problems?"

"What?" you said, your body tensing and you sat up higher.

Tyler was grinning now, moving closer to where you stiffened away from him. "I was reading this interesting thing, it said, in the second trimester, women's sex drives often return to normal or even increase."

"Why were you reading about the second trimester?"

"I was curious, after you said your hips hurt," he said, "But don't try to change the subject. I know how high your sex drive is.

"What? My sex drive is not high."

"Y/N," he looked down his nose at you, "I was there. I know."

"You're the one who has a high sex drive," you said.

Tyler lifted his hand up, like 'what's you point?'. "Yeah, I know," he said, his hand moving another couple of inches up your thigh, testing the waters, "If you're this tense, you could have said something."

"I'm not tense," you tried, but you really didn't sound convincing at all.

He moved away, sitting up, and your body felt a little let down from the lack of touch, but then he moved in again, his beard brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck, like it was a mistake. But he lingered. "You're kind of acting like you need to cum," he said, and you almost moaned out loud, your body craving that release and satisfaction, and your head tilted off to the side, begging him to kiss your neck, "I'd be really happy to help."

"Tyler," you said weakly, because part of you was thinking this was a dangerous path, but he was right there, and it was so easy, and so familiar, and so good.

He pulled back just a little, so he could actually look at you, softly asking "Yeah?" He wouldn't push you, of course he'd never push you, but he knew you so well that he could read your body language, even when different words were coming out of your mouth.

You nodded, just a short movement of your chin but he notice, moving in to kiss your temple. "Good," he said, kissing down your jawline, "you just need to relax." Usually, hen people told you to relax, you only tense up more, but he be said it in such a light, drawn out manner, like he was giving you permission to relax.

"C'mere," He said, his hands going around your shoulders to turn you sideways, and then he scooted back into the corner of the couch, inviting you to move between his legs. "It's just you and me," he said, his fingers slipping up under the band of your shirt, but they ghosted quickly over your stomach and you wondered if he didn't want to touch you there. His fingers went right under your boobs, ight where your underwire would be.

"No bra?" He asked, moving his fingers back and forth, and you didn't even have any idea how many nerve endings had to be there, based on the way it felt to have him touching you, feeling every rough spot on your hand. His lips were still against your temple, and you could feel him smile when he asked the question.

"I was in my pajamas," you said, and you felt him chuckle.

"I knew you weren't wearing a bra every since you got changed," he said, "it was pretty obvious."

You barely had time to blush because his hand was moving up, over your breast, and you knew he had to feel your heart beating. "Are these sore?"

He moved his fingers across them, like he was rubbing in lotion rather than trying to get you off.

"Not really, they're–" you jerked when two of his fingers came up around your nipple, which pebbled immediately, sending a shockwave right between your legs.

"Sensitive?" He asked, and you nodded, him slowing his movements a bit. It was weird, he could be so loud and teasing at times, but when you were intimate like this, it was like a switch had flipped, his voice becoming both light and deep, like it was meant for only you to hear. "Is it okay?"

" Yeah," you said, your hand going to his forearm under your shirt, because you couldn't put into words that you liked it. You turned a little, lifting up, so you could meet his lips. They felt soft and plump under yours, and he sighed into you, your tongues getting involved now too. It wasn't rushed at all, completed unhurried and sensual. You laid there, smiling against him lips when you were done.

His hand went back to moving on your breast, and you untwisted your body. "Rest your head back against me," Tyler said, his hand going to soothe you back down against him chest, moving your hair out of the way, "you don't need to do anything."

He played with your breasts a bit more, you breathing heavily the whole time because it was so much, his lips coming to suck at your shoulder, right where the short sleeve of your top had lifted. By now, your hips were shifting, your body wanting something more.

Tyler must have noticed, because his hand moved out from under your shirt, slipping just under the elastic of your pj pants. "Why panties?" He asked, but you weren't going to explain to him that you just seemed to be always kind of wet, but then he said, "can you take them off?"

You used your hands, lifting your hips off the couch, sliding them down with him helping you, his hand so close to where you wanted it. Once you had everything shaken free, he was pulling you back, his hand grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch and easing it over you, though you weren't sure if it was because he was worried you might feel uncomfortable you were the only one naked or that he thought you were cold, or for some other reason.

His hand ran up your inner thigh, dipping between your lips, and Tyler took a sharp intake of breath, "You're so fucking wet."

"Mmph" you said, your hips moving towards his hand, seeking, "I'm so..I'm so..." you tried to explain.

"I know," he said, a hand running up your side as if that would soothe you. "I can tell."

He played with your arousal for just a moment, not touching you anywhere where it mattered, but it felt like your pussy lips were clenching around him, which you didn't even think was possible. Two fingers eased down to your entrance, just circling it and pressing inside. Before you even realized It, your hips had pushed up, taking all of those two fingers at once, and you made this horrible noise like an "ungh".

"Fuck, that's so hot," Tyler swore, his hand and your centre staying connecting as your hips dropped back down on the couch. Your knees fell open and he sort of circled his fingers inside you, touching every part of your sensitive walls, his thumb turning sideways and just rubbing back and forth against your clit, applying a little pressure.

" Is it too much?" He asked, and you shook your head against his chest, hoping that he wouldn't stop.

"Perfect," you managed to get out. It was just what you needed, nothing more nothing less.

Your head eased a little off to the side, your eyes falling shut as his free hand moved up to hold your breast, his beard brushing against the side of your neck that was exposed to him, kissing and then gently sucking. You just wanted to stay like this forever, trying to memorize every sensation and feeling because you'd need it later.

"Tell me when you're ready," he said, because somehow he understood. His fingers didn't really move anywhere, just keeping that pattern inside of you, filling you up just right and hurting a sensitive spot every now and then, and you'd shudder a little more. Is thumb kept moving back and forth, hitting the sensitive nerve endings in your clit but not really seeking an end.

"Feels so good," you said, because you had to tell him, your head moving with the rise and fall of your chest. He didn't respond, but he moved his lips from your neck to kiss the top of your head, and then back again.

Your eyes were still shut, lost in sensation, not that you could see him even if they were open because he was behind you. You were aware of the fact that your face was contorting with pleasure, a smile breaking across your face but then it'd be lost when you moaned, and you knew that he might be watching you, but you couldn't control it. You were aware of the tv being on in the background, but everything was fading away. He never changed the pace of what he was doing, however, and you quickly lost all sense of time.

"More, please, more," you breathed the next time the pads of his fingers brushed your g-spot, and his right hand fell away all at once. But the two fingers from his left hand replaced his right inside you, curving just right and setting up a rhythm before you'd even realized that hand was missing from your breast. The fingers from his right hand came to your clit, circling it just the way you liked it, although and little less pressure than usual but it was just right, your legs starting to shake immediately.

"Yes," you breathed.

"Yeah," Tyler echoed.

You were completely falling apart, bucking against him, and shifting your head back and forth. You could feel moisture slipping from where your eyes where squeezed shut, but you didn't care. These high pitched squeaking noises were coming from you when you started cumming, shuddering against him over and over, and his hands always seemed to be in the right place at the right time because it seemed to last forever. Once your muscles started to release, his touch eased off, getting softer and softer as your trembling grew further and further apart. Once your muscles felt completely spentand youd started to try and close your legs because you were too sensitve, his hands moved away, one settling on your leg and moving back and force gently as you came down even more, feeling so different even though it was essentially the same touch as where this had all started.

You started to become more and more aware of what was around you, realizing a different episode was on then in was when this had all started. It might even have been two episodes later, as you were pretty sure you'd missed both Meredith dying and coming back to life.

"That looked amazing," Tyler said, his voice sounded different now, deeper and kind of gravely, his hand moving up and down your arm, out from under the blankets now.

" Tyler, I...." you said, trying to turn, aware of the fact that you should try to do something for him.

"Shh..." he said, stopping you when you were on your side and planting a kiss on the top of your head, settling it down against his chest, pulling more of the blanket over you. "You're tired, just shut your eyes and rest."

And, like you had his other suggestion, you took this one, too.


	26. Chapter 26

His hands were all over you.

Your back, rubbing over your sides, tangling in your hair when he kissed you.

There was a cool breeze in coming off the water, the fire crackling behind you, and stars in the sky.

But you were completely focused on him, your hands bracing on his bare chest, hard and warm under your hand. He said something, but you couldn't hear it, and you used the leverage you had, your shins on either side of his thighs where he was seated in the Adirondack chair around the fire pit, setting up a rhythm that had him moving more deeper and more completely inside you.

His lips moved to your neck, and you continued to roll your hips, threading your hands through his hair.

"Oh my god, Tyler," you moaned. He didn't respond, just kept moving against you, and it was so good, so fast, but it also felt like it had gone on forever.

You wanted to tell him how close you were, but no words were coming out, and the feelings were just building and building inside you. His hands went to your hips, guiding you, and you leaned into him, settling your hands on his shoulders, but you were able to get closer to him then you felt you should be able too with your changing body, which was a little weird, but you didn't care, because it felt too good, chasing the sensation.

But he was fading away fast, no matter how hard you tried to hold on to him, even though you could kind of still feel him under you.

And then you became more aware, and realized: it was a damn dream.

You squeezed your eyes shut, rolling over a little and trying to settle in. Maybe if you just relaxed a little, you could drift back into the dream and get back to where you were. But your bed felt different, and then there was a hand rubbing up and down your arm, and your eyes flew open, your head shooting up and you let out a little "ah" when you realized you were still laying against Tyler and he was right there.

Holy shit.

"Good dream?" a voice asked, and you looked down to see Tyler looking sleepily at you, his hair wild like he'd been asleep at some point, too.

"Uh..." you said, a blush breaking out over your body, everything heating up, and you realized you still weren't even wearing pants. Why the fuck couldn't you just say something else? It wasn't like he was in your head and knew what your dream was about.

"So, who's Tyler?" he asked, smirking now, "It sounds like he was doing some stuff you really liked."

Your hand went over your face, because you wouldn't normally be this intense, but your dreams had been really intense and kind of weird since you'd been pregnant. Nothing kind of like this, but you had no idea what you were saying or doing. You'd slept next to him before, of course, and now you were wondering if you'd been talking in your sleep the past 4 or 5 months.

"Don't be embarrassed," Tyler said, gently pulling your hands away from your face, grinning at you, "I'm super flattered."

"Tyler..." you said.

"That wasn't quite how you were saying my name before," he said.

"Oh my god," you said, because now you'd never hear the end of it.

"It was so hot," he said, turning you so you could feel just how hot he thought it was, grinning at your reaction. "How come you've never moaned quite like that when we've been together? What do I have to do?"

"Tyler," you said.

"It's just you and me," he said, his hands hooking around your back, pulling your top half down to him, "Unless you were thinking of a different Tyler. In which case, this is kind of embarrassing." He was giving you a crooked smile, because obviously he knew it was about him.

"Of course it was you," you said.

"Yeah," he said, smiling as he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, he was right there, "I knew it was be the moment you were like, 'oh my god, Tyler Seguin!'"

"I did not," you said, and he laughed underneath you.

"Yeah, you didn't. And don't," he said, "that'd be weird."

He was just holding you, every part of you touching, his face right there, and he brushed another piece piece of hair out of your face, because it just kept falling. "I don't think you have any idea how sexy you are."

He kissed you once, just chastely, and then laid his head back down, but you were drawn to him, your lips chasing his, but this time you were kissing with purpose, and Tyler groaned, his hands going to your back to hold you to him. The sound of heavy breathing filled the room, his hands kind of inching up up the shirt you were still wearing, settling on your low back, as you kissed.

Eventually, he started moving his hands further up your back, breaking from your lips as he sat you both up a little. "Can I take this off?"

You nodded, lifting your arms above your head so he could pull it off, his eyes focused on your breasts.

"Wow," he breathed, reaching his hands out to massage them, "They're, like, completely different. I mean, they were awesome before too, but this is like....I like getting both. It's like two for the price of one."

You started giggling, which you thought might ruin the mood you had going on, but your boobs started bouncing in his hand and he took a sudden inhale of breath. "Holy fuck."

His hands felt nice and warm on you, but you wanted to feel more skin, so you reached down to the hem of his shirt. "Can I?" You asked, because he asked you, but he sat up all the way and whipped his shirt off, tossing it away.

"You can do anything you want," he said, running his hands up your ribs, "you don't have to ask."

You smiled, laying back over him, letting the skin of your chests press together, and his hand went to cup the side of your head, weaving through your hair, kissing each other more.

When you had to breathe, he lips went to your neck, "I thought you were going to cum in your sleep, it was so fucking hot," he said, bucking his hips up into you and you jolted at the sensation, even through his pants, "I didn't know if I should do something to help or if that'd freak you out but, fuck, I wanted to touch you."

And you needed to touch him, so you shifted down his legs dipping your hand into his sweatpants, because he did say you could do whatever you wanted, and discovered he hadn't been wearing underwear the entire time, grasping him and stroking him a few times.

"You can't do that for long, babe, I'm sorry," Tyler said, his voice sounding strained and his chest rising and falling with the effort it seemed to take for him to speak, and your thighs subconsciously squeezed around his. "Do you want my pants off?" He asked and, when you nodded and sat back, he eased his legs out from under you, sliding them off and then flinging them off to the side. You noticed, vaguely, the clock on the stove saying it was nearly 2:30 in the morning.

"Uhmm..." he said, pulling the blanket out from under you and throwing it back over the back of the couch, out of the way, and then looking you over, scratching the back of his head like he was thinking of nervous. "Do you think you could be on top? I want you to have control. If you can..."

You realized that it might be kind if weird for him - or anyone for that matter, to have sex with you while you were pregnant, the changes in your body evident now that you were naked. Tyler, however, didn't seem to have a qualms about it.

"Yeah, I can be on top," you said with a bit of a laugh, and he smiled softly, kissing you again, and then laying back down.

"C'mere," he said, pulling you towards him, like he just wanted to kiss you, but you felt so empty and all those feelings that had been building up during your dream came flooding back to the surface and you positioned your shins on either side of his legs, grasping his cock to guide it into you. Tyler's hands went to your hips, and you heard his sharp inhale of breath as you sunk down onto him, your head tilting back as you felt what you were searching for.

He was pretty big though, and you were so sensitive, and it was a lot, in a good way. Your eyes slowly opened, and he was watching you, in a way that might have made you feel self-conscious yet someone didn't in the dim room, only a little light from the stove in the kitchen allowing you to see each other, everything seeming so quiet around you, other than your breathing.

"Can we just....?" you asked, trying to think of how you could put 'not move' in a sexy way.

"As long as you want," his thumbs rubbing circles onto your hip bones. It felt kind of too much, just being there watching each other, not doing anything, and then Tyler sat up, using his fingers to comb your hair back, kissing you like he wasn't in any rush at all, like he wasn't buried inside you, and you felt yourself relax around him, muscles fluttering. Because, apparently your body was in a rush. You circle your hips, a couple of times, wanting to feel more of him. He pulled away, when you did, making this weird, breathy noise, and then buried his face in your neck. "Can you do that again?" He asked in this deep whisper, that made shivers break out across your skin. You repeated the action, and felt his beard scratch against your neck as he reacted.

"Fuck, that's...too good," he said, and you grinned, doing it once more. "Fuck, babe, you have no idea."

The part of you that sort of felt like you were using him in some way to satisfy your own cravings, taking advantage of how he always seemed to be ready to go, even though he really, really seemed to be more than okay with it, faded away even more with that comment, and you felt empowered that you were doing something for him. Your hands went to his shoulders, pushing him back down onto the couch, and he fell back like you shoved him hard, which you hadn't.

"Fuck yeah, take control," he said as his head bounced into the couch.

You giggled a little, self-consciously, feeling a blush break out across your chest.

"Mmmno, I like it," he said, his hand trailing around, squeezing your ass playfully, his eyes glinting up at yours the whole time. You leaned forward, resting your palms on his shoulders, starting to rock against him, and you let out a breathy little sigh.

Tyler seemed to watch you for a moment, taking breaks to kiss your forearms where there were on either side of his face, like he was studying your body or your rhythm, and then his hands went to your hips, moving with you. "You look so fucking hot, I can't believe..."

You started riding him faster now, chasing your release, and he groaned, his head tilting back, eyes fluttering, his voice sounding a little strained "Yeah, just like that, get yourself off."

It was way more dirty talk than you were ever used to with him, but it was really working, and you were letting all the noises that wanted to come out come out of you. "Oh my god, Tyler."

Somehow, he grinned for like a split second, and you knew that was just what he had been waiting to hear. Your hands went to his wrists, lifting his hands to your breasts, which were kind of getting sore, with the movement. "Can you...like, hold them?" you said breathlessly.

"Yeah, umm...fuck yeah," he said, his voice laced with excitement, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. He wasn't holding you tightly, but really supporting you, moving with you, your heavy breasts moving in cup of his hands, your sensitive nipples brushing against his skin, which just added even more. When your head tilted back and you were having trouble keeping your eyes open, he asked in a breathly stream of words, "Are you close? Do you need...?"

His hands started to drift away from your chest, and you knew he was wondering if they should dip lower, but you shook your head because you were so close, one of your hands coming to grip his wrist to hold him there. Thankfully you were so sensitive and he felt so good inside you, and that you were getting enough just from rubbing against him. "Don't stop...." you pleaded, and he made a noise in the back of his throat, his hips starting to meet yours just right, and you were letting out the craziest high pitched noises but he was groaning too. You weren't even sure who came first, because it was just this complete explosion of everything, and you could feel him and all of it all through your entire body, clinging to each other, breathing heavily, as you came with a little scream. When you became aware again, his hands had moved away, one settled on your hip and the other wrapped around your lower back, and you watched as his chest rose and fall, his lips swollen and his hair everywhere.

"That sound..." he said with a squeak in his voice, shaking his head, his eyes connect with yours, looking both completely satisfied but still aroused just thinking about what happened, and you could still feel him throbbing inside you after his release . He started to try and and sit up, like he wanted to kiss you, but then you heard a flurry of sound from the stairs, and both of you seemed to realize exactly what it was. Judging from the speed at which they came down the stairs, it was likely Gerry. Tyler immediately pulled you down, your head against his chest, sinking down himself like he wouldn't be seen, and then the entire blanket was thrown over you, even shielding your head, and you laughed against him as you head paws walk across the kitchen tile and then stop, feeling eyes even through the back of the couch.

"Shhh..." Tyler chided you with a whisper from the other side of the blanket, and then spoke out loud, his voice serious. "Everything's fine. Go back to bed."

You could hear movement coming closer to you and felt Tyler's body stiffen underneath you. "No, no, go away." You started laughing harder, shaking against him, and you felt Tyler's arm lock around you from on top of the blanket, like he could hide you if you didn't move. You heard sniffing, and then felt a nose nudging at where your shoulder was under the blanket.

"No, Gerry," Tyler said in a stern voice, "Leave it." One of his hands had left you, like he was trying to push the dog away, put there was pushing at the blanket, even though Tyler was trying to hold it in place, and then the blanket was pushed off your face with a dog nose, which sniffed you and then licked your face a couple of times, tail wagging slowly.

"Gerry," Tyler said in a harsh whisper, and you reached your hand out from other the blanket, petting him on the head twice, and then Gerry backed up, looking at you curiously, but you could feel Tyler glaring at him, holding the blanket tight over your bodies.

"He just wants to see if I'm okay," you said, and you realized that he'd probably heard your high pitched little scream thing, and thought something was wrong. "Maybe he thought I was hurt."

"You're the furthest thing from hurt," Tyler said, and Gerry was still looking at you, your eyes searching the floor to see where your clothes had landed so you could think about somehow slipping them on. "He's ruining the whole thing."

"He is not ruining it," you said with a laugh, turning your head to look at Tyler and lifting up a bit, "I still feel amazing."

He smiled then, actually relaxing, lifting his head up to meet your lips with his. "Me too."

You felt a presence from the side again, and realized Gerry had taken a step closer, staring at you both, and Tyler sighed. You placed your hands on his shoulder starting to lift up, but Tyler help you steady. "Don't move," he whispered, eyes connecting with yours, shifting his hips and little, and you realized it. He was still inside you.

"Go. to. bed," Tyler said, punctuating each word clearly. Gerry started to move, but all he did was just circle around, plopping down with his back against the bottom of the couch with a groan as he got comfortable, right on the floor below where your heads where.

Tyler made a noise of annoyance, one arm holding the blanket over your naked bodies, the other hand going to cradle your head to his chest, placing a kiss on your hair, and your eyes started to feel heavy again. "Do you think you can sleep like this?" he asked softly.

Of course you could, it was so incredibly comfortable, all of your skin touching. But you were lying on top of him.

He was still inside you.

"Can you?" you asked in disbelief, and he shifted his hips a little bit, sliding back a little so he was laying down a little more.

"Mmhmm," he confirmed, one hand playing in your hair, the other around your back. "It's perfect." It took no time at all for you to fall back asleep, just as he was starting to snore softly under you.

When you woke up again, it was to the sound of whimpers, light streaming through the windows to let you know it was morning and an acceptable time to wake up. It was just Tyler and you in the room now, and the whimpers sounded like they were coming from the front door. You shifted, breaking away from the warmth of Tyler's body that was under yours, taking a sharp intake of breath when you realized he was still inside you from the night before. Holy shit.

You wanted nothing more than to just rest your head back down and explore the comfort that this offered further, but it was clear the dogs needed attention. You reached back, ungrasping his hands from where they were on your lower back, holding you to him. Carefully, you pulled yourself off him, and he made a sound of annoyance, but his eyes didn't open.

"The dogs," you whispered, climbing off the couch and finding the pajama pants you had been wearing and pulling them on. Tyler nodded, like he heard you, but he still didn't open his eyes, and you knew he was a deep sleeper. You kicked some of his clothes closer to the couch as you grabbed the blanket that had been over you, wrapping it around your top half and padding towards the front door and the sound of the whimpers. Gerry was standing at the front door crying, while Cash was sniffing around the suitcases that were by the front door, but he came over to you when he saw you, sniffing at your shins, and you leaned over to pet him.

"C'mon, this way," you whispered, encouraging them to follow you to the other door so they could go out in the back, watching as they both trotted out into the snow, and you shivered, pulling the blanket even tighter around you. "Marshall?" you called up the stairs, thinking that all three of them should go out. You heard him jump off the bed and saw his head pop around the corner a moment later sticking out of the door in your peripheral vision. But, when you looked over at him, his took a step towards the top of the stairs, barely putting any pressure on his one paw. And then he put his head down, limping towards the top of the stairs.

"No, no, wait," you said, rushing up to the top of the stairs to stop him from trying to come down. Your first instinct was that maybe he had something stuck in his paw, so you lifted it up, running your hand underneath. It seemed fine, so you set it back down, petting him behind the ear. "What happened, bud?"

He sort of shifted on his legs, and then sat down, which you assumed took the pressure off his front paw. You sat down beside him, leaning on the side, and he laid down, so you ran your hand over the top of the paw and up that front leg that seemed to be effective, trying to see if there was a certain part that seemed tender to the touch, but he didn't seem to react other than just looking at your eyes. That one side didn't look more swollen than the other either, not much at least. You placed a kiss on his snout, rubbing your hands behind his ears. At least he seemed calm. "Tyler?" you called, watching Marshall's ears perk up a bit as you spoke, knowing that he probably needed to go out, and you didn't want to try and help him down the stairs, in case either of you fell.

"What's wrong?" Tyler asked as he came around the corner quickly, his hand on the waistband of his sweatpants like he'd just pulled them up, but he frowned when he saw you sitting at the top of the stairs with Marshall.

"Something's wrong with his paw," you said, as Tyler took a couple of steps up the stairs towards you, and you ran your hand gently over the affected paw, Marshall's tail thumping against the floor.

"What do you mean something's wrong with his paw?"

"He was limping," you said.

"Are you sure?" Tyler asked. "C'mere, bud."

You winced as Marshall pushed himself up with his front legs, standing up kind of shakily, and you put your arm out. He took a couple of limps towards Tyler, and then lifted his paw up, trying to hop on three legs.

"Okay, okay, stop," you said, putting your hand out, "lay down."

Tyler's lips were pursed together as he came all the rest of the way up the steps, sitting down on Marshall's other side and patting him a couple of times on the side.

"He wasn't limping last night, was he?" you asked, "I wonder if he twisted his wrist or something when they were playing in the snow."

"Not that I noticed, he seemed fine," Tyler said, running his hand through his hair, "Did you notice anything?"

You shook your head. "I heard him jump off the bed, but he didn't yelp or anything, and you'd think he would if that was how he hurt it," you said.

"Hmm..." Tyler said, "Maybe his foot just fell asleep or something."

"His foot fell asleep?" you said with a bit of a laugh, "Has that happened before?"

"Well, no, but..." Tyler said, petting him on the side again, "Maybe it'll get better."

You looked at his two paws again, comparing them. At least nothing looked obviously wrong. "Do you think maybe he has arthritis?" you asked, "Maybe it's too cold for him."

"I don't think he has arthritis," Tyler said with a bit of a laugh, "he can outrun Cash, and he's younger. Where are the others?"

"Outside," you said, nodding your head in that direction.

"I'll help him out," Tyler said, scooting his hands under the dog like he was going to pick him up.

"Do you need help?" you asked, standing up, not quite sure where to put your hands.

"Nah," Tyler said, looking up at you and smirking. "You're not wearing a shirt."

"Neither are you," you pointed out, and he just raised an eyebrow, "Focus on your dog."

Tyler picked him up like he was nothing, walking carefully down the stairs, and you rushed ahead of them to open the door and grab a pair of shoes for Tyler to slip on. You watched from the window as he set Marshall down, walking around tentatively with him. In the meantime, you folded some blankets, piling them on the floor to make a makeshift bed for him downstairs. His dogs were such furniture dogs, that he didn't even have a dog bed. Once Tyler came back in, you got Marshall settled, bringing him some food and water and even tucking a blanket around him, in case it was the cold bothering him.

Both of you were hoping that it would be resolved as the morning went by, but when you tried to get him up again after you'd cleaned up after breakfast, he limped once and then laid back down with a sigh, resting his head on your leg where you were sitting next to him, and you rubbed him behind the ears.

Tyler sighed, running his hand through his hair where he sat on the couch behind you, looking up from his phone, "I don't know what to do," he said, "There's not enough time to take him to the vet, and we're already on the latest flight I could take. I don't want him to be in pain on the plane either, and I don't know about the dog sitter either." He rested his head in his hand, and the wheels started turning in your head.

You mentally calculated that Tyler would be home again for Christmas in just less than a month, and you only had two weeks of work left before Christmas break. You could probably take Marshall to work with you, actually, knowing that there were other dogs on campus, if you needed to. And you already knew that Tyler was okay leaving one of his dogs with you, as he'd offered before. "He could stay with me," you said, "If you want. We can make a vet appointment and I can take him."

Tyler looked up, "You're sure?"

You nodded, looking at the dog curled up against you, wanting to make sure he was taken care of. "It's no problem."

Tyler smiled then, getting up and kissing you on the cheek, "Thank you," he said, looking so much more relieved now, "I'll go put some of his stuff in a bag, and then I'll drop you guys off at your place before we have to go to the airport. You might need to buy more food, at some point, but there should be enough for a couple of weeks, I think."

You nodded, continuing to pet Marshall, thankful that your house was all on one floor so you didn't have to worry about trying to get him up and down stairs. You sat with him while Tyler got the car loaded up and the other dogs situated, and then he came back, and you realized that you were still wearing the pajamas you borrowed from him. "I just gotta get changed so I can give you these back," you said.

Tyler laughed a little, "You can keep them," he said, and you were kind of happy that you didn't have to change into something that'd dig into your belly. All you really felt was like having a movie and PJ day, and it looked like you'd have it now. With company. "You want more shirts or pants or stuff?"

"That's okay," you said, knowing that you had to get going especially since the whole morning had taken a turn.

to

"Well," Tyler said, going to pick Marshall up from the floor, "You have a key. And all my winter stuff is here and I'm not gonna be using it anyways. So if I come home and half my closet is gone, I'll just come to your house and get it all back."

You followed Tyler out to his car, and he'd pulled back the passenger seat, settling Marshall on the floor, and then you climbed in.

"Gerry's jealous," Tyler said, and you looked in the backseat to see the yellow lab sitting on the backseat, staring into the passenger seat. "He thinks he's the only one small enough to fit in the front seat."

"Awe," you laughed, sticking your hand back there to put him. Once you got to Tyler's house, you got out, grabbing the leftover ice cream Tyler had packed for you and your and Marshall's bag, unlocking the front door and sticking them in the entrance while Tyler tried to take Marshall out to go pee. While he was doing that, you opened the door to the backseat, saying goodbye to Cash and Gerry. "I love you. I'll see you guys at Christmas, 'k?" They wagged their tails, seeming to pick up on your enthusiasm about Christmas.

Tyler set Marshall down on your driveway, since it was cleared from the snow unlike his, and he limped towards your front door, Tyler helping him up the two steps into your house. He sniffed a little at the bag of his food that was on the floor, and then sat down at your feet, and Tyler took a step in, settling his hands on your arms. "Call my mom if you need help, okay? She'll be able to watch him for a couple days if you want," he said, "And ask for help if need help getting him into the car. I don't want you trying to lift him."

You nodded, because you woudn't anyways, but he seemed at least to be able to limp along, and your car was much lower than Tyler's so you'd hoped he'd be able to get into the front seat.

"And I'll call you tonight when we get home, but call me after you go to the vet tomorrow," he said. He'd made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon, although they said you could bring him in sooner if it was getting worse, which it didn't seem to be.

"He probably just needs some TLC," you said, patting the dog on the head, and he looked up at you.

"Well, he's in the right place," Tyler said, smiling at you and then pulling you in for a hug, you resting your head on his shoulder, staying there for a moment until you pulled away when you heard a bark from the car and Tyler laughed, his thumb going to your cheek. "No tears this time?"

"I'm not as emotional anymore," you said.

"Can't you at least squeeze out a couple?" he asked, and you laughed, watching as he bent down to pet Marshall, "I love you guys, yeah? You be a good boy, okay?"

His tail thumped against the floor, and Tyler stood up, kissing you on the cheek, once more, and then looking down at Marshall, "You look after her."


	27. Chapter 27

As much fun as it was to have your snow day outside, you were kind of liking this version too. You were a little surprised when Marshall jumped up onto your couch and laid down, but you weren't about to tell him to get down, thinking that he might her his paw jumping off too.

So you curled up on the couch with him, watching movies while you sipped hot chocolate and looked at the snow outside. He stayed on the couch when you made a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, when Tyler called to let you know they were home and to check on Marshall. You sat back down, slipping Marshall a couple bites of sandwich and holding your finger up to your mouth to let him know it was a secret, because his Dad would not be very happy knowing you were feeding him human food. The good news was that he didn't seem to be acting like he was uncomfortable, although he seemed a little sleepier than usual, so you wondered if maybe he was in a bit of pain. Then again, you were also having a lazy day, so maybe he was just enjoying that.

He did not judge you when you ate ice cream out of the cartoon, subtly trying to hold the cold container against his paw. You tried to put an ice pack on it earlier, but he just kind of looked at you like you were insane, and he kept moving his paw so it kept falling off. He big brown eyes looked up at you expectantly when you took another bite, and you rubbed him behind his ears. "Sorry, you can't have any because it's got chocolate in it," you said, making a mental note to get some vanilla ice cream the next time you were at the store. When you took him out when you started feeling sleepy, holding his collar as he jumped off the couch to try and guide him, you were a little hesitant about him navigating the snow, but he seemed to cope alright, just moving a little more slowly than normal. You thought about trying to sleep with him on the couch, but when you came back in, he limped a little towards your bedroom, like he seemed to know it was bedtime.

He stood around watching you as you brushed your teeth and washed you face, and you thought about making him a bed on the floor next to your bed, wondering if you could take a few cushions off the couch to make sure he was comfortable, but he limped a couple times towards the bed when you came out of the bathroom and then jumped onto the bed before you could stop him. So you let him stay, curling up with your pregnancy pillow that Tyler must have put back on your bed for you, and Marshall stretched out with his back across the side of it, so you could pet him until you fell asleep. When you got up the next morning, he wasn't limping anymore, but you figured you should still take him to the vet to get checked out. The good news was that he didn't seem to need any help getting in or out of your car, but he did bury his face in your lap the entire time at the vet, and gave you the most pathetic look when they took him back to get an x-ray.

You were now sitting on the couch with him, waiting for Tyler to call you as he said he would when he got home from practice. When your phone rung with a Facetime request, Marshall lifted his head up to look at the source of the noise. "Is that your Dad?" you asked, petting him on the head. "He wants to see how you are."

Tyler's face appeared on your screen, and he smiled when you assumed he must have seen you. He looked to be in a similar position on the couch, only with Cash instead. You grabbed the remote with your other hand, pausing the movie you were watching.

"Hey, how are you?" he said, and when you answered 'good', he immediately asked, "How's he?"

"He's fine," you said quickly, thinking that Tyler must be anxious, even though you'd been updating him and letting him know that Marshall's limping was getting better, and that he seemed to have no trouble this morning. "She said his range of motion was good, and he isn't favoring it any more and it's not tender to the touch."

"Hmmm.." Tyler said.

"Yeah, they took x-rays too, but they were normal," you said, petting Marshall behind the ears as he rested his head in your lap, "She just said to bring him back in if he starts doing it again. But he should be fine."

"Uh," you watched as Tyler took his hat of his head, ran his fingers through his hair, and then replaced it, "Where did he sleep last night?"

"What?" you asked, shaking your head a little in confusion, "in bed with me. Why?"

"He's faking it."

"What? Tyler, I don't think he's faking it," you said, "He probably just twisted it and it was sore. Why would he fake it?"

"So he could stay with you!" Tyler said, his arm flailing out to the side, in disbelief. And then his eyes focused, saying seriously, "Marshall. Marshall."

You looked down at the dog, unmoving from where his head was set in your lap.

"See? He won't even look at me," Tyler said, like this proved everything.

"Well, he's a dog, Tyler, he doesn't understand a phone," you said.

"Babe, he played us."

You looked down in disbelief at the dog snuggled up against you. He was pretty smart, actually, but this seemed crazy. And you'd never seen him even remotely fake an injury before.

"I thought you wanted one of the dogs to stay with me," you said.

"I did, but I didn't think like this," he said, "I was worried. Did you think I trained my dog to fake limp just as we had to leave? I wish I was as smart as him. Like, I don't even know if I should be mad at him, or impressed that my dog is an evil genius. Is it behaving himself at least?"

"Yes," you said, and Tyler sighed, "What?"

"You're babying him, aren't you?" Tyler said, and then squinted towards the screen a little, "Is that peanut butter on his nose?"

You looked down, wiping off what was indeed peanut butter of Marshall's nose. "He had a hard day, he had to go the vet."

"Well, he wouldn't have had to have gone to the vet if he didn't fake a injury," Tyler said, and then he made an 'oof' sound as you saw a flash of yellow before the phone tumbled to the floor. "Hey, that's not nice," Tyler said, and you laughed because you could only imagine what happened.

"Sorry," Tyler said when he picked up the phone again, extending a hand out of the screen, and then making a dejected face. "Gerry's pissed," he whispered.

"Why?"

"Because Marshall got to stay and he didn't," Tyler said, like it was obvious, "He hasn't talked to me since we left."

"Does he usually talk to you?" you asked with your eyebrows raised.

"You know what I mean," he said, with a roll of his eyes. "He's acting like a teenager."

You laughed, turning to lie down a bit on the couch changing positions because your arm was getting tired , Marshall sitting up on the couch to make room for you and then laying down again once you were situated.

"Whatcha guys doing?" Tyler asked.

"We're watching a movie," you said, snuggling into the couch so your arm was against Marshall, and when Tyler asked which one, you answered, " What to Expect When You're Expecting."

Tyler nodded. "And? You learning anything?"

You shook your head. You had thought it would just be a funny, lighthearted and related movie, but it was kind of stressing you out. You hadn't even bought things yet yourself for the baby, you only had what Tyler had sent you as a gift because you were thinking it wasn't time yet. But this movie was kind of making you think you needed to start buying things like yesterday, and you'd found yourself repeatedly scrolling through your phone browsing baby stores, returning to watch the movie, and then repeating the process. "I think I need to buy a crib."

"Well, yeah..." Tyler said with a bit of a laugh, "Where else is the baby going to sleep?"

"I was going to have him in a bassinet in my room," you said, "Or I might have him in bed with me. I haven't decided yet." That was another thing you needed to do: research co-sleeping.

You sighed again, taking the hair band you had wrapped around your wrist and tying your hair back, because it kept falling in your face, and that was pissing you off. "This movie is stupid."

"Well, good thing you were just watching it until I got home, and now we can watch Grey's," Tyler said, and you smiled a little, lips pursued together as you reached for the remote. "Hey, are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," you said, settling a hand on your belly. "It just seems like a lot of....stuff." You'd made yourself so busy with work, trying to make the time pass by, that you hadn't even thought about needing to buy baby stuff. It wasn't like you needed to rush, there was still a good 4 months left, but you were kind of thinking it might be close to time.

"Well, you'll get a ton of that shit at your baby shower, won't you?" Tyler asked.

Your hand instantly went to your face, looking at him through the phone. "What baby shower?" you asked, and he shook his head like he had no clue, "Tyler, what baby shower?"

"I mean, isn't that something people do before you have a baby? I'm just assuming that someone may love you enough to throw one for you."

And you swore to god, if he tried to throw you a baby shower, you might die. He was notoriously terrible at putting together any sort of party. "What are you plotting?" you asked apprehensively.

"Me? Oh no, nothing. Don't worry," he said, "But some women in your life, who have much better taste than I do, might be planning something. And it might be in March, so you might want to hold off on buying any baby paraphernalia until then. Maybe."

You smiled, because you hadn't even thought about baby showers, but of course you were having one. "Okay, but I still have to set up his room and stuff. I think I'm going to start looking at furniture and everything when I'm on Christmas break. Like he's not even going to be in there, but I think he should have a room when he gets here."

"Well, yeah," Tyler said, "Are you going to do a theme?"

"I don't....think so," you said, "It's not even like he'll even be able to tell me what he likes, so it's really just for me. I was just thinking like, blue and grey maybe? And some outdoorsy stuff? There's a lot of really cute dog stuff, though. Like there's this swing that was a dog on it and I really want it." It was also blue and grey, and it may have inspired the whole colour palette.

Tyler laughed. "Is Marshall brainwashing you? Is the whole room gonna be dogs?"

"No, because I don't even know if he likes dogs," you said. Your whole plan was to keep the baby room as simple as possible, so you could redo it once he got older and you knew what he was into. So, maybe just blue and grey with some outdoorsy and dog accents. And then you took a sharp inhale. "What if he's allergic to dogs? And I buy him things that have dogs on them?"

"He's not going to be allergic to dogs," Tyler laughed.

"How do you know?" you said, looking at the dog who was next to you on your couch, your eyes widening when you realized that you might have to have your entire house cleaned now.

"Because I'm not allergic and you're not allergic," he said, "And, you know, even if the kid is allergic, he's not going to have a reaction because he has a picture of a dog hanging on his wall or whatever, you know."

Well, now that he said that, it seemed a little silly.

"I think I may have freaked out a little bit," you confessed.

"Ya think?" Tyler grinned, "Anyways, if you want to make up your mind, and order that stuff over Christmas, I can help you set it up over bye week."

"What?" you asked.

"Bye week," he said, "It's a week where we don't have any games. When you don't play a game when you could compete but you're skipping the game, it's called a bye."

"I know what a bye week is," you said, and he shrugged like he really didn't know if you knew, "Aren't you supposed to go on a trip?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm coming to Toronto."

You rolled your eyes, "I mean like a vacation. Not assembling furniture."

"C'mon, it'll be fun," he said, "You can just sit there and tell me what to do. I know how much you love to do that."

"Tyler, you don't have to do that on your time off," you said.

"I was going to come home, anyways," he said, "And what am I going to do while you're at work? How long are you working for anyways?"

"Until he comes, I guess. Or I can't move anymore," you said. You most definately were not teaching in the winter semester, so you would not have that to worry about. "And you could go golfing."

"In January? It'll be snowing."

"You could go to a place where it is not snowing," you said.

"Nuh-uh, sorry. Tickets are already booked," he grinned, even though you were suspicious. "You have no choice. You need me. Do you know anyone else as strong as me?"

"You really don't have to, Tyler."

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to," he said, "You, of all people, should know that. We'll get the furniture moved and the painting and stuff done, and then you girls can do the decorations."

"Okay," you said, realizing that there was no way you were going to convince him otherwise. It would be nice, too, to have all the big stuff down in the room in January, so you could just spend the next few months doing all the little touches and organizing. "That'd be really helpful. Thank you."

"Mhmm.." he replied, like it would be no big deal at all, "Can we watch Grey's now, or are you not done freaking out yet?"

"I'm okay," you said with a laugh, laying down on the couch now, and Marshall took the opportunity to lick your face. "I should take him out though first. Can I call you back in 10 or 15 minutes?" You weren't sure entirely how far you'd be able to get with him, but you'd figured you should try. "Actually, no, I need to make food first, too. Can you wait half an hour? Are you going anywhere?"

Tyler laughed, "Nah, I'll try to take these guys out too, Gerry needs an outlet for his frustration. Just call me when you're ready," he said, "Be careful, though."

"I thought you were convinced his paw was fine," you said, rousing Marshall by scratching his head. "Do you want to go outside?"

"I am," he said, "I mean you be careful. Don't let him pull you over."

"He won't pull me over," you said, looking at Marshall's deep brown eyes. You'd doubt you even need to put a least on him at all, other for the fact that it was the law.

"Yeah, you're right, he won't," Tyler said, "But if I don't answer when you call, could you please call the cops? Gerry might try to drag me and Cash to Canada."

You laughed, hanging up and going on a gentle walk with Marshall, who showed absolutely no signs of discomfort, matching your slow pace. And then you made yourself a grilled cheese with mustard and chips on the side, watching about three episodes of Grey's with Tyler over the phone.

And, before you went to bed, you ordered the puppy swing. And a matching bouncer.

**

You'd already gotten all the ingredients out for gingerbread cookies (and snuck a handful of chocolate chips in your mouth) when you heard a knock at your front door, your sister here for your annual Christmas baking marathon. And, the snow had just started falling again, so it was pretty perfect. Marshall jumped off the couch, going towards the front door, and then looking back at you, sniffing at the corner of the closed door, like he was trying to figure out who was on the other side.

"Look out," you said, opening the door slowly to avoid smashing him in the nose, and Marshall stepped out as soon as he could, sniffing your sister's leg, his tail wagging.

"Hi, how are you?" she said, crouching down to pet the lab, and then looking up at you, "Which one is this one again?"

"Marshall," you said, and he looked up at you and backed up back into the house, like that was what you were telling him to do, his tail still wagging. At least now your sister could come in and you could shut the door.

"Hi Marshall," she said, and he wagged his tail more, definately soaking up all the individual attention he was getting. "Where are the others?"

"With Tyler. In Dallas," you said, smiling as you felt the baby kick again, your hand going to your belly. He was doing that more and more now, mostly when you were laying down, but the sugar in the chocolate chips you'd eaten had definately perked him up. Marshall pushed his nose against your leg. Somehow, he always seemed to know when the baby kicked, or he picked up on your reaction, usually licking your face if you were laying down. It was pretty precious, even though you weren't 100% sure what was making him do it. In your mind, he just knew the baby was kicking.

"He gave you his dog again?" Nicole asked, taking off her coat and boots.

"No, he did not give me his dog," you said, walking towards the kitchen.

"Oooh, that's adorable," Nicole said, looking at the swing you had set up in your living room, only because the baby's room was still your office, and there was too much furniture in there to try and fit it in, and you couldn't resist setting it up. You could probably collapse it now, but you kind of liked looking at it. And, Marshall would sometimes bump it with his body when he walked by, which was pretty cute too.

"Isn't it?" you said, leaning over to pet Marshall as he circled around your leg.

"So, why is he here then?" she asked.

"He hurt his leg at Thanksgiving and Tyler was worried about him flying," you said.

"Oh," she said with concern, petting the dog once more, "What happened?"

"Well, nothing," you said. You'd been taking him for longer walks now, and he definately had no ill effects. "We think he was faking it."

"What?" she asked with a laugh of disbelief, and you sighed.

"Tyler thinks he was faking it so he could stay with me. He was fine after the first day."

"So why doesn't he go home then?" she asked.

"Because he had to wait to fly back with Tyler after Christmas."

She gave you an interesting look. "You know dogs can fly by themselves, right? If they're crated? Tyler hasn't asked for him back?"

"No," you answered, "He asked if I wanted one of them to stay with me to keep me company when he left at the end of summer. I don't think he minds."

"Hmmm..." Nicole said.

"Nicole, he's a good dog owner," you said, "he's not trying to get rid of his dogs."

"Oh, I know," She said, her eyes twinkling like she knew something you didn't, "I know he's obsessed with them. Which means he must think you're something pretty special if he's offering to leave one with you."

"The dog was limping, Nicole," you said.

"Not in September, he wasn't," she said, "And Tyler could have left the dog with his Mom, or his sisters, or another friend."

"I was at his house," you said, "And I watch the dogs all the time. I know them."

"Mhmm..." she said doubtfully, "And when you're staying at his house, where do you sleep exactly?"

You turned your attention to the cookies, wanting to get them started and get off this topic of conversation, "Oh, come on, Nicole, how many times have you slept in the same bed as your guy friends?"

"Not ones who gave me their dogs," she quipped.

"Because he's nice, Nicole, okay?" you said. "He's not an asshole like you think. He was just being considerate." It came off a little harsher than you intended, but you were getting kind of tired of your sister judging him without warrant.

"Yeah, yeah, actually he is," she said softly, "I was...kind of wrong about him? He called me."

You froze, turning around slowly, because that was news to you, "He called you? Why?"

"Well, he didn't really say much. I think he was just calling to see how I was with..." she paused, gesturing at your belly, "It was kind of like he thought it was a nice idea to call me, but he didn't really know what to say. It was nice though. Especially after I yelled at him. He didn't tell you?"

You shook your head 'no', your heart swelling just a little bit more.

"Shit, that makes it even better now," she said, and then she swallowed, "It seems like...there's not something more going on between you? He seems to really like you.. Like, more than himself, which is saying a lot."

"Of course he likes me. We've known each other for a long time," you explained, "We're friends."

"Who sleep in the same bed and share dogs?"

"Yes, Nicole, friends watch each others dogs for them. Now, can we change the topic?" you asked, "Like, maybe we could talk about that baby shower you're planning for me?"

Nicole looked at your grinning face, and then sighed. "Okay, I take it all back. He's an asshole."


	28. Chapter 28

One of the great things about working in academics, in your opinion, was the fact that you got extended holiday breaks. You were spending most of your days hanging around the house with Marshall in your pajamas, going for a nice evening walk in the snow (usually still in your pajamas), taking breaks from the organizing and measuring of your office to look at baby furniture and watch movies, usually watching Grey's Anatomy over the phone with Tyler before bed. Basically, the only thing you had to get dressed for these days was your prenatal yoga class and, even then, you were just wearing yoga clothes, so it was pretty much pajamas.

Today, though, however, you'd actually put clothes on because you and Marshall had a errand to run. He was sitting in the passenger seat, sitting up like he was a human, and you got some interesting looks and laughs as you drove. He looked so happy with himself though, that you couldn't resist taking a picture when you were at a stop light, sending it to Tyler. Marshall started cowering, however, when you drove towards town, and you suspected he thought he was going to the vet again.

"It's okay, we're going someplace fun," you reassured him, although he still looked doubtful when you pulled into the parking lot. You definitely knew that he'd been to a pet store when he was a puppy, because you'd been with him a couple of times when Tyler needed to grab dog food, but you weren't sure if he'd actually been to a pet store as an adult dog who you couldn't pick up anymore. The good thing was that he was pretty well-behaved and even-keeled, so you biggest worry would probably be him taking out a shelf of items with his wagging tail.

It was pretty humorous watching his eyes widen once you opened the door to the store as if he'd never seen such an incredible place before. He looked up at you, like he wasn't quite sure he was even allowed to go inside but, once you told him he could, he stepped inside and started sniffing immediately.

"Hi," the girl behind the counter said brightly, her eyes cast downwards, "What's your name?"

You answered for him, and her eyes flicked up to yours again. "Can he have a treat?"

When he heard the word 'treat', Marshall immediately sat down, and then started swiping at the air, trying to show off his ability to shake a paw. "Yes," you said with a laugh, and she came out from around the counter, crouching down in front of him.

"I didn't have to ask you to sit," she said, giving him two treats, which he took happily. Afterwards, she asked you what if you needed help finding anything, and you said you told her you were just looking for Christmas presents, so she left you to browse.

You went to the Christmas section first, because they needed Christmas toys, in your opinion. You chose a Christmas tree that looked pretty chew proof for Gerry, and a soft reindeer for Marshall because he liked to cuddle with his toys. You were picking out a penguin with a squeaker for Cash, when you noticed a box of candy cane dog treats. And then you got an awesome idea, and added it to the collection that you were creating.

And then you went to look in the regular toy section, picking Gerry out a puzzle toy that you could put treats inside that would hopefully keep him occupied because he'd apparently been having some....behaviour issues lately, and you found a toy that looking like skipping rocks for the pool or lake for Cash (and that Tyler would probably enjoy, too). You were just deciding on a ball for Marshall that you could kick and throw and that also floated on water, when your phone pinged with a text from Tyler.

Tyler: Are you taking my dog on a date?

Tyler: Make sure he pays

Tyler: He'll probably try to get in your bed after just fyi

You laughed to yourself, and then you realized, that while you had a collection of presents for his dogs, you had absolutely no idea what to get for him. Nothing seemed quite right, and you wondered if maybe you should try to do things differently this year. You'd already gotten gifts for the pups, who were really easy to impress, and you knew Tyler had stuff for the baby. So, maybe, you could just exchange Christmas presents between your "kids" for this year. It wasn't like there was anything either of you needed, anyways.

With your six toys and the holiday dog treats, you went to the check out counter, the woman from earlier before looking over all of your purchases and smiling down at Marshall. "Someone's a lucky boy," she said, as she started to ring everything through.

"Oh, they're not all for him," you said, "For his brothers, too."

"How many brothers does he have?"

"Two," you answered, and before she could ask said, "All labs."

"Three labs?" she asked, and you noticed her glance at your belly, so you instinctively rubbed it, "that must be a busy household."

You opened your mouth, and then shut it again, because you weren't about to start explaining that they weren't your dogs. "It is," you said, "But there's a lot of love, too."

"I'll bet," she said, bagging up all your purchases. "Have a Merry Christmas, guys."

You were so overtaken by the Christmas spirit and all the decorations at the shopping plaza that you decided to stop at Starbucks for a holiday themed drink, and got a puppaccino for Marshall, which he devoured in the car.

When you got home, you contemplated calling Tyler, but you couldn't remember whether he had a game tonight or not. And then you remembered the internet.

You crashed on the couch as the phone was ringing, to which Tyler answered, "So, did he kiss you?"

You didn't know what he was talking about, until you remembered the text he sent you in the store. "Yes," you answered, "With tongue."

"That's aggressive," Tyler said, and then, "Hang on, babe, one sec."

You were expecting him to set the phone down while he did something, but instead you heard him say in a stern voice. "Gerry, stop that. Those are expensive shoes."

You heard a shuffling noise and then a sigh. "Sorry," he said, "someone is acting like a two year old."

"Well, isn't he?"

"Not in dog years," he said, and then, in his dog voice, "Oh, and now you want to cuddle with me, huh? Are you sorry for what you did?"

You shook your head, laughing. "I had a question," you said, "About Christmas."

"Santa's real," Tyler said, "Don't let anybody tell you otherwise."

You snickered, laying back on the couch and running a hand through your hair. "No, I was wondering if maybe you and I could not exchange Christmas gifts this year?"

" Why?" Tyler whined.

" Because, I know you already got stuff for the baby..."

"So? You always get presents for me and the dogs. I'm not allowed to get you a present, too?"

" Tyler, I just don't think we should –""

"Well, it's too late," he said, "I already have your present."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling you," he said, "That'd defeat the whole purpose of a present."

Obviously. But you really just needed an idea of what it might be so you could get a comparable gift. "Is it something for the baby?"

"Mmmnope, that's separate," he said, "Well, kind of, I guess, in a way."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you might enjoy it while you're pregnant. But it's just for you," he said, "And it's not what you might think, either."

"What?" You questioned. You definately hadn't hinted that there was anything you wanted because there wasn't.

"I mean, I understand if you want a vibrator, but I don't really feel comfortable buying that for you. It's kind of personal thing."

"Tyler!" You yelled, in shock that he had just said that. But, in all honestly, you shouldnt be that suprised. "Seriously...."

He laughed loudly. When he was done, he said, "It's just a little something. You don't have to freak out or anything."

You sunk back into the couch, even more if possible. "I don't know what to get you."

"You don't have to get me anything for Christmas," he said, "you can just get me twice as many presents for my birthday, it's fine."

"If you're getting me something for Christmas, then I'm getting you something for Christmas," you said, "What do you want?"

"A really big hug?"

"Tyler..."

"Uhh..." he make a noise like he just fell back into the couch. "Honestly, I'd be really happy if you baked me some cookies. Like, a whole tin I can take back with me and not have to share."

You were about to respond when you heard a knocking noise, and then a ruffle of paws against the floor. "Hey, babe, I gotta head out for dinner," he said, and then after you said "okay", he added, "With some of the guys. I'll call you later, okay? If Gerry doesn't eat my entire house while I'm gone. Cash, you're babysitting."

After you said goodbye, you laid your head back, looking up at Marshall sitting at the under end of the couch, staring at you. "What do you think I should get for your Dad?" you asked, and he just tilted his head, still staring at you. You reached up, scratching him behind the ears. "Well, you're no help at all."

It seemed impossible, this year, for some reason. Nothing quite seemed to fit quite right, or be the right combination, and then you realized why.

What did you get for the man who had already given you the best gift ever?

Nothing seemed like it would ever be enough.

**

"C'mon," you said to Marshall, opening the door to the car so he could jump out, grabbing the box of candy cane shaped dog biscuits, ready to enact the plan that had come to you in the pet store. You grabbed the tray with your peppermint mocha and Marshall's puppaccino to set the Christmas spirit even more, unlocking the door to Tyler's house with one hand, setting everything down, and then going around to turn on lights. And turn on some Christmas music.

"Are you going to help me with the tree?" you asked him, but he just sat down and then pawed your leg, and you realized he just wanted his treat. So, you gave it to him, while you ventured into the garage, realizing that this was going to be the hard part. You found the box with the tree first, realizing that it was way to cumbersome for you to lift by yourself right now. So, you took piece by piece out, setting them in the living room, while Marshall was licking his container of whipped cream across the floor. You might have created a bad habit.

You huffed as you used your legs to push the couch out of the way just enough that you could set the tree up, Marshall looking at you like you were crazy for moving the furniture. Finally, it was out of the way enough that you could begin setting the tree up, standing back and taking a sip of your Peppermint Mocha every now and then, singing along with the music as you fluffed the tree up. Once you were satisfied with it, you plugged in the lights, and then went back into the garage for the boxes of decorations, bringing them up to the living room. On your last pass, you noticed through the window that it had started to snow again, so you opened the garage door, deciding to put your car in there while you were here so you wouldn't have to wipe all the snow off it afterwards.

Marshall was waiting for you at the door when you went back inside, and you leaned down to pet him. "I'm not leaving you here, don't worry."

He left and came back with a rope a moment later, pushing it against your leg, and you halfheartedly reached down and tugged it a little, knowing that if you went hard, he could pull you over. You also realized that Tyler hadn't really packed any toys for him, probably because he had thought he was hurt so, other than the couple of tennis balls you had around your house, Marshall hadn't had any toys, so you made a mental note to take a couple with you when you left.

You opened the bins, taking a look at what you had to work with, and then you noticed the Dallas Stars ornaments sitting on top, and remembered that you thought he had a game for tonight. You turned on the TV, flicking through the channels and muting it, so it didn't compete with the holiday music you had going. You finally found it, and saw the game was still scoreless. St. Louis, that's where it was.

His ornaments were kind of a hodgepodge, probably because he didn't always spend Christmas here. There were the Dallas Stars ornaments, a couple of hockey related ornaments you recognized that his Mom had given him when he was a kid, and quite a few dog ornaments, that probably his mom had given him at some point as well, as well as several of those cinnamon ornaments that you'd made together your second year of college, when you'd got yourself a mini Christmas tree for your apartment but didn't to spend money on ornaments. The rest was a mix of plain Christmas balls, like he'd just bought them at the last minute to fill in all the holes. They didn't even match. You made do, as best as you could, thankful that the lights were white so there wasn't a huge clash. You were almost done, when you found something hard, wrapped in tissue at the bottom of the box, and you unwrapped it to find an ornament, one of which you had very similar, that you made in the ceramics portion of art in eight grade. His was, well, it was absolutely horrible looking, paint swiped across it at the last minute, and you remember Kirsten mercilessly making fun of him for it, even before they were together, and before you really knew him. You hung it on a branch, right front and centre. And then you dug into the last wrapped item, but it fell out and you started laughing immediately, half bending and half squatting to pick up the tiny curve of wood. You remembered it, when he was taking this woodworking class in eleventh grade, and he'd been excited because he had this elaborate plan to jigsaw a skate out of wood. But the skate, as he showed you, kept getting smaller and smaller, and he ended up having to form it into a hockey stick, and he ended up failing the assignment, and you'd had to bite your lip not to try and laugh when he showed you his finished project. His mom, if you remembered, said something like "that's great, honey," when he showed it to her, and the both of you had exchanged a look like it wasn't.

You hung that on the tree, too, and were about to go about your project, when you realized that Marshall was sniffing the box of treats that you had bought, and you had a sudden vision of the tree toppling over as the dogs attacked it, especially with how Gerry was apparently acting. You sat down on the couch to rethink your plan, noticing that it was snowing even harder now, and you really, really were not in the mood to drive home while it was snowing. So, ordered yourself a pizza and went to Tyler's room, rummaging through his drawers to find yourself a pair of pj pants and a shirt. And then you found a string of garland, working on weaving it through the stairs, hanging the candy cane dog treats off it when you were done. Marshall was very curious about what you were doing, so you had to instruct him not to eat all the treats right now.

It looked pretty great, in your opinion, when you were done. The only thing you hadn't done was hung the star, because you'd have to stand on something to do so, and you didn't want to do that when your centre of gravity was constantly changing. But, at least his tree would be up and decorated when he got home for the holidays.

You ate your pizza as you watched the end of the game, finally crawling into bed with Marshall afterwards, arranging a variety of pillows around you, with him curled up by your legs. Both of you fell asleep pretty quickly, and you could hear Marshall start to snore just as you drifted off, too.

It was so much lighter in the room when you woke in a daze, realizing that what woke you was Marshall growling by your feet. You reached your hand out to pet him, thinking he was dreaming, but his head was up, and he was staring at the half open door growling. You didn't hear anything, other than snow falling off the tree outside. "Marshall," you said lightly, frowning when he bared his teeth, not even looking at you, "It's okay."

All of a sudden, he lept out of bed, barking like you'd never heard him bark before, pushing past the door, and then you heard a voice. "It's just me." It startled you, but it seemed familiar, and then you placed it, flying out of bed yourself because you could hear Marshall still barking and a commotion on the stairs.

"Marshall!" you yelled, throwing open the door, and seeing Tyler's Dad standing there petting Marshall now, who had calmed, although the hair on the back of his neck was still standing up, a remnant of him trying to make himself more intimidating.

When Marshall saw you, he came back over to you, and you crouched down, petting him, "It's okay," you said, and he licked you on the face, and then you asked Paul, "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"Nah, he was fine once he realized who he was," he said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Tyler didn't tell me you were here."

"Oh, he doesn't know I'm here," you said, and then you cringed, "I mean, he gave me a key. He just didn't know I was here, tonight."

He laughed, "It's his house, you don't have to explain it to me," he said, and you stood back up slowly, your legs feeling shaking when you realized you that you were standing here, in front of Tyler's father wearing Tyler's clothes, with a pretty noticeable baby bump. And you had no idea what to say.

"You're...." Paul said, his eyes eyes drifting downwards and your hand going over your belly, because there was no way of hiding it. "I didn't know you were....expecting."

Shit, shit. Shit, shit, shit.

"Yeah," you answered, "Umm...Tyler was going to tell you over Christmas."

He nodded a little, looking like he was deep in contemplation. "So, you're....living here now? With Tyler? I didn't see your car or anything."

"Oh, no, no," you said quickly, "I just came to set up the tree. My car's in the garage. It was snowing, so I didn't want to drive."

He smiled then, for a moment, "That's just what I was coming over to do this morning."

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize."

"No, no, I'm sure you could do a better job of it than I could anyways," he smiled, "I just wanted it to be here for when Tyler got home."

You stood there for a moment, just looking at each other and then you realized the reason he thought you were living there, was because he thought the baby you were having was Tyler's. Which it was. But only kind of.

"It's his sperm!" you blurted out. And then you realized you just said the word 'sperm' again, to Tyler's father, and you shook your head.

"What?" Paul asked.

"I...I wanted to have a baby," you said, "And Tyler donated sperm. At the clinic. We went to the clinic a lot." You realized you were rambling now, trying to make sense of anything, and avoid telling him all the details.

"It's not his responsibility," you tried, rubbing your hand over your belly more.

"Oh," he said simply, and then he scratched the back of his head, much like Tyler did, "Well, I should go. Let you go back to sleep."

"It's okay," you said. It wasn't like this was your house anyways.

"Nah, I just came to do that job anyways," he said, looking like he was thinking about going, "You're not, you weren't planning on staying here tonight were you? I'm sure you can, I'm not saying you should go."

"I was going to go home," you said, and then added with a laugh, to make him feel like he wasn't putting you out, "There's no groceries here, anyways."

"Oh," he said, "Do you need groceries? I can..."

"Oh no, I've got plenty. At home."

"Okay," he said, turning away and then back again, like he didn't know quite what to do. "I'll just shovel the driveway for you before I go."

"Oh, that's okay," you said, leaning down to pet Marshall, hoping to steal some of his calm. "You don't have to do that."

"It's no trouble," he said, "you should be safe."

You knew you weren't going to convince him otherwise, so you accepted, a mix of 'take care''s and 'it was nice to see you"s as he left, and you ran your hand over your face as soon as the door closed in embarrassment. And then you realized you weren't even wearing a bra, either. Great.

You took a long shower, needing to completely wash all the awkward off you, realizing that you'd need to call Tyler and tell him, but you couldn't face that right now. Maybe after breakfast.

After you got out of the shower though and realized that Paul was no longer in the driveway, you went back into Tyler's room and your phone was lit up with a text.

Tyler: HAHAHAHAHA

You groaned, focusing on making yourself pancakes , and feeding Marshall, and then trying to enjoy said pancakes.

It was probably 40 minutes later when your phone rang, and you answered it with a heavy "hi", to which Tyler responded with giggles.

"I can't believe my Dad walked in on you," he took a break to breathe, "in my bed. And that Marshall tried to attack him."

"It's not funny," you said. It was mortifying is what it was. "And I was not in your bed. I was in the hallway outside your bedroom."

"But you were in my bed," he said, "Why were you in my bed?"

"Tyler," you started.

"I gave you a key, you're allowed to use it," he said, still sounded amused by the whole thing. "I'm just curious, why were you in my bed?"

"I...." you looked down at the dog at your feet, and remembered not to give away the whole surprise, "I came over to get some toys for Marshell and it started snowing so I just decided to sleep here."

If he didn't believe you, he didn't let on. "Were you naked?"

"No, I was not naked," you said, "I was in your clothes. Which is worse."

Tyler laughed. "How is that worse?"

"Because it's like...it's like we're sleeping together."

"Well, we did sleep together," he said.

"Yes, but I don't want your Dad to know that," you said, and then you remembered there were so much more important things: the pregnancy. The baby. "What did he say?"

"Uh...I'm not sure if he really believed you," Tyler said, "Or me. I might have to show him the paperwork."

"Oh god," you muttured, sitting down at the kitchen table again.

"Babe, it's fine," Tyler said, "Honestly. Honestly, he's probably just glad I got someone pregnant on purpose."

You made a small noise because telling everyone was a lot, and you didn't expect to be so involved in the process. Especially when Tyler had said it was his responsibility.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it," he said, "You're really making this easy on me, you know."

"Hmm?"

"You tell everyone, and then I just get to swoop in and smooth everything over," he said.

"Okay, I did not tell your mother, you let it slip."

"You told her you were pregnant," Tyler said, "that helped. You wanna tell my sisters, too?"

"No."

"Please?" He asked sweetly.

"Not a chance."


	29. Chapter 29

The plan was for Tyler to come over to your house, get you and Marshall, and go back to his house for the night. Then, the next day, you were going to hang out with the dogs while Tyler went to his mom's house to tell his sisters about the whole pregnancy thing, and then all of them were going to come back for Christmas Eve dinner.

So you were waiting on your couch, all your bags ready by the front door, when his car pulled up. And you watched, through the window, as he got out, and then opened the back door, and Gerry flew out, running towards your front door, Cash following behind him but not at quite the same pace.

"Who's that?" you said to Marshall, who merely looked at you, and then started following you when you got up.

You could hear Gerry whimpering excitedly through the door, and then Tyler saying "Gerry. Calm down, you're going to hyperventilate."

You laughed, opening the door before he could even knock, and immediately paws were coming at you, Gerry's eyes bulging when Tyler pulled him back by his collar. "I thought I should bring them in so we didn't have a repeat of what happened in the car, but he's even more insane."

"It's okay," you laughed, bending down as best as you could, petting him, his tail swatting against Marshall's body as he went to say hello to Tyler.

"Hey, bud," he said, petting the dog, speaking in one of the most exaggerated dog voices you'd ever heard. "Did you miss me? Did you miss me? I missed you."

"Hi Cash," you said, when he finally got by Gerry's jumping to get to you, petting him on the head and then placing a kiss there. You noticed Tyler staring at you at a moment, and then you frowned at him.

"You look pregnant," he said.

"Well, I am," you said, watching as the dogs greeted each other.

"Yeah, I know," Tyler rolled his eyes, "I mean, you didn't look pregnant before. When you had clothes on. Now, it's like showing. Like it popped out. "

"You said I looked pregnant when I was 8 weeks."

"Yeah, because your body looked different," he said, "But not big like this."

"Well, it's gonna get bigger."

"Good. That's what's supposed to happen," he said, "Can I....can I touch it?" and you laughed, standing up, because it wasn't like he usually asked before he touched you, and he looked tentative, like it really was a ball that might burst. And it wasn't like it was doing anything exciting right now.

"Yeah, you can touch it," you said, and he did, laying his hand gently over the bump, and holding it there for a moment. "He'll probably kick when I sit or lay down. Or eat something with sugar."

"Hmm..." Tyler said, taking his hand away, "It's squishier than I thought?"

"Squishy?" you asked.

"Yeah, I thought it was going to be hard. It looked hard," he said, and then scratched the back of his neck. "Anyways, hi." He leaned in to hug you, placing a kiss on your cheek, and you tried to ignore Gerry jumping against you, to give Tyler your attention for at least one minute.

"I don't like this," Tyler mumbled against your shoulder, and you frowned, "The baby's in the way."

"Well..." you said, like there wasn't anything you could do about it, and he pulled away, walking around behind you. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder.

"This is better," he said, and you raised your thand, patting him on the back of the head. Gerry took the opportunity to jump up towards you, and Tyler caught his paws before he could hit you. "Be careful, she's got a baby, remember? Since when do you jump up on people?"

"He saw you touching my belly and he wanted to, too," you said, breaking away from Tyler, and leaning down to pet Gerry, who was still wagging his tail hard, begging for your attention.

"You've got claws, remember, dude?" Tyler said, petting him on the head. And then he leaned over, ruffling the bells on the Christmas collar that Marshall had on that you'd found in the Christmas decorations bin at Tyler's house, "Is this what you were doing at my house?"

"Maybe..." you said, trying to be facetious.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Tyler said, but you just grinned, grabbing the other Christmas collar you'd brought home with you and slipping it on Cash, and then trying to get the reindeer antlers on Gerry, but you had a feeling they wouldn't stay put on him for very long. "Are you ready to go?"

"Mmm...I just need to grab the ice cream," you said, heading towards the kitchen to grab the tub of vanilla you'd gotten to pair with the peppermint brownies you'd made earlier in the day for Christmas eve dessert tomorrow. You heard paw steps following you, but they seemed to trail off, but you didn't think much of it.

Until you heard Tyler shouting, "Gerry, no! Off!", followed by a depressed sounding, "Y/N...help."

You walked back into the living room, where Gerry had his front two paws in the baby swing and was trying to jump him back legs up with it moving under him, all while trying to fend off Tyler trying to get him out.

"Gerry! Gerry, C'mhere," you said, and he leapt off, tail wagging as he trotted towards you, sitting down obediently at your feet, and you reached down to pet him, "Good boy. That's not yours, okay?"

"Sure, he's the perfect angel for you, and when he's with me, he's a demon dog," Tyler said.

"Is it really that bad?" you asked, not imagining the innocent face looking up at you to be anything demon-like.

"He's okay, most of the time, once he stopped being pissed off, but then he does stupid shit like this," Tyler said, nodding towards the swing, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, he didn't break it or anything."

"But what if the baby had been in it," Tyler whispered.

"The baby wasn't in it," you said, petting Gerry again, "It's okay, he'll learn."

Tyler still looked a little skeptical, but you loaded up the car with our bag off stuff for tomorrow, while Tyler grabbed your pregnancy pillow from your bed because, apparently, it was essential that you had a good night sleep so you could be on your best behaviour because Santa would be watching on Christmas eve. Tyler tried to open the passenger side door for you, but Gerry jumped in, turning on the floor and looking up at you, just waiting for you get in the seat.

"You gonna guide our sleigh?" Tyler asked him, and then looked at you, "Get it? Because he's dressed like a reindeer."

"Yeah, I got it," you laughed, and Tyler got the older ones in the back. It wasn't long after he started driving that you had Gerry's head in your lap, and Cash's head started peeking between the two from seats. "Awe, Cash," you said, wrapping your arm around him as best as you could.

Tyler's eyes darted to the side and he smiled, keeping his attention on the road. "I think you were missed," he said, and then after a moment. "Did Marshall miss me like even 1%?"

"Yes, he went straight for you," you said, and Tyler smiled again.

"I don't know, he looked pretty well taken care of with you," he said, and then you turned onto his street, and you watching his eyes as he took in the Christmas lights on his house. "Please tell me you did not do that."

You shook your head, "Your dad did," as he had texted you a few days ago to let you know his plans, and you watched Tyler visibly relax. But you were still smiling, even as you pulled into the driveway and started unloading the car and letting the dogs out. You could see the lights of the Christmas tree through the window, as you came over earlier and turned them on, but Tyler seemed oblivious.

"Are you gonna check everything out to make sure its safe, Marshall?" Tyler asked. "You're such a good guard dog, so scary."

"He's not scary," you said.

"My dad said he was pretty scary," Tyler said, flashing you a smile as he unlocked the door, "I told you they'd protect you if you were being attacked."

"You dad was not attacking me," you said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but he thought you were in danger," Tyler said, and you could not wipe the proud smile off his face, "I'd give him a pound of dog treats, but I know you'd already spoiled the shit out of him."

"I did not —" you started, but you were broken off when Tyler opened the door, and immediately saw the banister covered with garland and lights, and the hanging candy cane dog treats.

"What did you do?" he said slowly, trying to take everything in and a slow smile creeping across your face. He walked slowly up the stairs, and then into the living room, where you'd placed the wrapped gifts for him and his family under the tree, the packages wrapped in paper covered in dogs wearing different Christmas outfits placed up high on the dining room table so the dogs wouldn't get into them too early.

"Oooh, there's presents," Tyler said, walking towards you and acting like he was going to pick you up and spin you around, but he frowned when your belly got in the way again, awkwardly tapping you, and then picked Marshall up and turning around in a circle with him. "Did you help? Did you help?"

He set the dog down when he started kicking his legs like he was swimming in the air, and hugged you properly this time. "Thank you, this is awesome," he said, and then, "Cash, no, don't eat that!"

You turned around, to see him nibbling at one of the treats, looking up at Tyler's voice out of the corner of his eye, "No, he can eat that. It's dog treats."

"It's dog treats?" Tyler asked, half gasping and half laughing, "You really, really need a baby."

"I'm working on it," you said, while Tyler tried to tell Cash to not eat all the dog treats at once.

"I was going to suggest we watch a Christmas movie in bed, but I think we need to on the couch so we can enjoy the Christmas tree," Tyler said, and half an hour later, you were settled into watching ELF, you curled up on one end of the couch with Gerry on one side of you and Cash on the other, Marshall sleeping next to Tyler.

You grabbed Tyler's hand quickly, pulling it towards you, and sort of leaning him over the two dogs between you, and he looked at you a little concerned until you placed it on your belly, and you watched his face change, a little up tick of his eyebrows, corresponding with the sensation you felt.

"Did you feel that?" you asked.

"Yeah," he said softly, settling his hand there, "That's crazy. I've never felt that before."

"Really?" you asked, realizing that you hadn't even asked if he wanted to feel it, but you'd just assumed he was waiting for something since he'd asked to touch your belly earlier.

Tyler shook his head slowly, "Does it hurt?"

"No," you said with a bit of laugh, which turned into a full blown laugh when Gerry started licking your face. Tyler kind of left his hand there, still looking at you and then back at the TV.

"Is he going to do it again?"

"Maybe," you said, "probably if I eat something with sugar."

He nodded, taking his hand away from you gently, "Tell me if he does it again," he said. "It's cool."

You smiled, laying back a little on the couch, your head pushed against Gerry behind you, relaxing back into watching the movie. You were so comfortable that when awhile later, your phone pinged, and you groaned lightly, because it was on the coffee table. And you looked at Tyler sitting up, his feet crossed placed on the coffee table. "Can you get that for me? Please?"

He nodded, leaning forward and picking it up, unlocking it rather than passing it over to you like you thought, reading something on the screen. "Your childbirth education course is confirmed for March," he said, setting your phone back down on the table.

"Oh," you said, at then you looked at him, ruffling your fingers in Cash's fur next to you, "Do you want to be there?"

"At the class?" he asked, "Uh...I don't think I can?"

"No, not the class," you said. "At the birth. If you're not....playing hockey." You were about to say not in the playoffs, but you didn't know if there was some crazy superstitious thing about saying that.

"Do you want me there?" he asked.

"Do you want to be there?" you countered. "I mean, there'll be a lot of medical stuff, so you don't have to stay for the whole thing. But my doctor said I could have four people there, if I wanted, as long as there aren't any complications. And my sister, and Danielle are going to be there, and maybe my mom, so you could, if you wanted. And can."

"I know, but it's not about what I want," he said, "it's about what you want. You're the one having the baby. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"You won't make me uncomfortable," you said, gesturing at your body, "the...process might make you uncomfortable."

He gave a little laugh, "I can handle it," he said, "I just don't want to upset you, or stress you out."

"Why would you upset me?"

He gave you a serious look, "The one time I went to the doctor with you, I called your baby a blob."

"That was funny," you said, "It made me laugh, it didn't stress me out. "

He gave you a weak smile, "I just don't want you to ask me to be there because you feel like I want to be there. I want you to think of yourself."

And you smiled back at him. "I wouldn't ask you if I wasn't okay with it," you said, similar to what he had said to you so many times before.

"Can we come up with a signal if you want me to leave?" he said and you laughed a little, "I won't be mad. I don't want to be too much, or take the attention off of you or like..."

"Sure," you said, because you could see he really was concerned about it. You both looked back at the movie for a moment, and then Tyler reached out for the remote, pausing it.

"Is there a book I should read or something?" he asked, "Like, I have no clue what to do."

"No, I have clue what I'm doing either," you said, and he looked a little alarmed. "That's what the doctors and nurses are there for. And Danielle's gonna come with me to the class, so she'll know that stuff. But you don't have to come to the class to be there, my sister's not. You just gotta keep me company."

"I can do that," he said, patting you on the knee.

"It might be pretty....not pretty," you said, "You wouldn't have to stay for the whole thing, when he comes out. And he also might not look right, right away."

"He might not 'look right'?" Tyler asked, "What do you mean?"

"Like, he might be pretty wrinkly and purple," you said, "and his head might be kind of cone-shaped, from fitting through the birth canal. But it'll go back to normal."

"His head might be cone-shaped?!"

**

You were kind of nervous, the whole afternoon, as you waited for Tyler to come home from his Mom's house. You occupied yourself with hanging out with the dogs, and making appetizers to contribute to your appetizer night, as well as texting your sister to send her good vibes for work. You and Tyler's family always tried to have an appetizer evening and game night some time over the holidays, depending on Tyler's schedule. This year it just so happened to be on Christmas eve, as your sister was working that evening, so your family plans were for Christmas Day. Tyler had texted you when they were leaving, to let you know that everything had gone okay, but you were still too anxious to wait, so you decided to take the dogs for a quick walk. You were almost back to Tyler's house when you heard a honk, and then turned to see Tyler's car, rolling down the window as he passed by you. "Need a ride?"

You shook your head laughing, letting the dogs off their leashes once you could see Tyler had parked, so they could run the rest of the way to him.

"Hey," he said, looking up from where he was petting them, all three leashes in your hands, "Was Gerry okay?"

"Yeah, he was fine," you said. He'd started pulling a couple of times when he saw another dog and got excited, but was fine once you reminded him to heel. "How did it go?"

"Fine," Tyler said, as all of you started going back into the house.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said, "I mean, my mom was there, and I told them it was something important I had to talk to them about, so I think they thought it was bad news."

"Tyler!" you scolded, but he only smiled at you, placing a kiss on your head.

"I told you not to worry."

It was only a couple of seconds later when there was a knock at his door, and then Tyler was pulling the door open, the three women carrying a collection of food containers and gifts.

"Oh my gosh, you look so cute!" Cassidy gushed, pushing the plate she was holding into Tyler's hands and pulling you in for a hug.

"I love your shirt," Candace added, hugging you from the side with what she was carrying, "Your bump looks adorable."

"If she eats ice cream, you can probably feel him kick," Tyler said, and then looked in your direction, "If that's okay."

"Of course it's okay," you said, meeting Jackie in a hug.

"Hi honey, how are you?"

"Good," you answered, your chin against her shoulder, "Much better."

"Ty, I need to put this in the oven," she said as she pulled away, taking the dish that he was holding on.

"Yeah, yeah, go for it," he said, and she went to do just that, while his sisters tried to say 'hello' to the dogs, "You might not get much out of them, they're super attached to Y/N right now."

His sisters made "awe" sounds, like it was the most precious thing ever, and they went to go put the presents under the tree, while you just stared at the door, running a hand over your face. Tyler looked back at you, like he was expecting you to follow, and then did a double take when you didn't.

"What's –?" he asked, and you waved your hand out, because you were not crying.

"I'm fine," you said quickly, because concern was written all over his features. "I just can't believe how nice everyone is being to me."

Tyler was still frowning, "Why wouldn't they be nice to you?"

You ran your hand over your belly, whispering the feeling that came up, time and time again, whenever you told a member of his family. "Because I feel like I'm taking something away from them."

His face dropped a bit, before he wrapped you in a hug, "No, you're not," he said, quietly so only you could hear, "You're giving them something. Don't think that."

You smiled sweetly at him, going to join Tyler's mom in the kitchen so you could add what you'd prepared to the oven to heat up, so you could all unwrap presents while you were waiting. "Can the kids go first?" Tyler asked, once you were all assembled in the living room, the savoury smells coming from the oven making you hungry.

"That's rude to ask if you can go first," Cassidy said, "And we're not giving you yours until tomorrow."

Tyler rolled his eyes, "I meant the dogs," he said, looking towards the three labs eyeing the presents atop the dining room table, glancing at you as he rifled through them, "Do you want them to have them all tonight?"

"Just the ones with the stars on them," you said, which contained the Christmas themed toys inside. The others you could give to them when you saw Tyler on Boxing Day, to keep from completely overwhelming the pups with excitement.

You watched as Tyler passed out the gifts to the appropriate pups and then said 'okay' standing over them, everyone watching as they tried to tear through the paper, the room filled with a variety of different squeeks and excited tail wags pretty quickly.

It was adorable.

"Did you tell her 'thank you'? Tyler asked, pointed at you, "Give her a kiss."

And then you were squealing, barely even noticing that Gerry dropped his Christmas tree you, his front paws coming up on your knees, licking your face excitedly before running back to his toy. Cash and Marshall came up as Tyler was handing out your gifts to his Mom and sisters, pushing their toys against your leg, and you weren't quite sure if they were trying to play with you or show off that they had gotten something new.

"Oh, these are so pretty!" Candace said, holding up the earrings you had gotten for her.

"Those are from me, too," Tyler said, which was met with an eye roll.

He said the same thing when Cassidy said how much she liked the clutch you got her, and Jackie said how much she liked the smell of the bubble bath and candle you'd picked up for her.

" We're exchanging presents tomorrow," Candace reminded him, to which Tyler asked you in a stage whisper what time stores were open till on Christmas Eve. Even though you knew, for a fact, he'd already gotten gifts because he'd asked you 'what's that fancy make-up store that starts with an S my sisters like?'

"You can open yours now," you said, turning to Tyler who was seated on the couch next to you, the package already in front of him. He picked it up, bringing it to his nose and taking a sniff, and then whispering a 'Yes', earning interesting looks from his sisters and mom. He tore into the package, putting one of your homemade triple chocolate chip cookies into his mouth, while he read the note that was inside, revealing that you'd make him a batch of cookies to send or give to him once a month for the next year.

"Really?" He asked, and when you nodded, he leaned over, placing a kiss on your cheek, frowning, and then wiping the chocolate he'd gotten on your cheek off with his thumb, sticking it in his mouth. "Can you open mine next?" He asked, "I don't want to have to go after them."

You laughed, taking the package from him, and opening it, finding a gift certificate to get a prenatal massage, along with several of the Big Blue Bath Bombs from Lush you loved.

"Those are the ones you like for your headaches, right?" Tyler asked, "I had to ask Candace what the name of that store with the smelly stuff was, and then I had to go in there and ask then what they had for baths with seaweed in it."

"Yeah," you smiled, laughing a little as you thanked him. Somehow, it was sweeter thinking about what he did for the gift than the gift itself.

You were presented with a gift bag from Cassidy and Candace next, pulling out the first wrapped item.

"We got this before we knew you were pregnant," Cassidy said, shooting a glare at Tyler. "But we have the receipt, so you can exchange it for something else."

"It's so cute," you said, looking at the strappy tank top intended for running, that you might just keep until you could wear it again. You pulled out the remaining package, a small Christmas gift box from Lush, sniffing the body wash and bubble bar.

"You guys stole my idea," Tyler pouted.

"I'll use it all," you reassured him, like you could ever have enough bath goodies. "Thank you guys."

"Here you go, honey," Jackie said, sliding the remaining box over towards you.

You opened it, sliding your hands over the soft, grey and white striped fabric, pulling the items out to look at them.

"It's maternity, but you can wear it after too," she said, as you opened up the pajama pants and matching little cover up robe, and the white crossover tank top. And then you pulled out the littlest gown, in the same matching grey and white striped fabric of the pyjamas.

"Is this...?" You asked, and she nodded, informing you that it was a sleeping gown for the baby. And it matched. "I love it, thank you," you said, crossing the room to give her a hug.

As much fun as the presents were, you were pretty excited to dig into hot artichoke dip, and mushroom caps, and pull-apart bread, nibbling away while everyone debated what game to play.

Until there was a drop of red on the table in front of you.

"Uhh..." You heard Tyler say, as you tried to cup your hands to catch the blood that was coming out of your nose, trying to grab the napkins that were being thrust towards you. "What is happening?"

"She's having a nose bleed."

"Yeah, I see that," Tyler said, ducking his head a little to try and look at you, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," you said, pinching the bridge of your nose as you slowly lifted your head back up, "Sorry, I don't know why that happened."

First you were throwing up at their family dinners and now you were just bleeding at the dinner table.

"It's more common for you to get nosebleeds while you're pregnant," Jackie said, "Because of the increased blood volume."

Ohhh.

You stood up slowly, keeping the napkin underneath you and your fingers squeezed on the bridge of your nose, walking to the bathroom to try and survey the damage.

"Is it still bleeding?" Jackie asked from the doorway of the bathroom, and you pulling the napkins away, shaking your head 'no' when you didn't see any more blood.

"Keep pressure, I'll get your clothes," she said, and you could hear the sound of the sink, and then feel her wiping gently at your shirt.

"How have you been feeling?" She asked.

"Better," you said, "A lot better. Other than this," you laughed, gestering to your nose.

"Hi Gerry," you heard her say, and then felt him brush against your leg, "She's okay, don't worry."

"I had no idea this was even a thing," you said.

"Yeah, it happened to me a couple of times," she said, "It's normal, as long as it doesn't happen all the time."

"That's good to know," you said, feeling your shoulders relax, even though you hadn't realized they were tense. There was so much information, you often found yourself writing down questions each time something new happened to your body.

"You can ask me, you know, if you have questions and need someone with personal experience. If you want."

You slowly lowered the napkins from your face, so you could look her in the eye. "I would really like that."

You were smiling at each other, when Tyler leaned his head in the bathroom doorway. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," you nodded, wiping at your face while Jackie continued to try and clean your shirt.

"I was meaning to ask you, honey, when your due date was?"

" Oh," you said, "It's April 19th."

You felt her freeze, and then look at Tyler and back at you again. "The 19th?"

"Yeah, the 19th," you said, watching as they shared a look again. "What's wrong with the 19th?"

"Nothing's wrong with the 19th," Tyler said quickly.

"Then why are you guys being weird?"

"Nothing," Jackie said, "It's just Tyler's favourite number."

You looked at Tyler curiously. "You have a favourite number?"

"Do you know anything about me?" He asked with a laugh, "It was my number for like ever."

You weren't going to tell him that, in the early days of watching him play hockey, it was really just an excuse for you to hang out and drink hot chocolate.

"Did you know?" you asked Tyler and he laughed.

" Yes," he said, "it came in handy when you asked me about 5 times what your due date was after your first ultrasound, even though she wrote it down for you."

"Anyways," Jackie interrupted, "I was just asking because I went early with all three of my kids. I'm not sure if that's a genetic thing or not, but just so you know."

"Okay," you nodded.

"Do you have any clothes she can change into Tyler?" She asked next, "We should probably get that shirt in the wash."

"Yeah, I got it," Tyler said, as she went to wait downstairs. "Y'know, you could just change into those pajamas my Mom bought you, so you don't have to wear my clothes."

"It's not even 9 o'clock yet," you laughed.

"Yeah, but my sisters are staying here tonight because we're gonna go see my Dad in the morning. So we could just all get into our pyjamas, and you could stay here tonight, and then we could have Christmas breakfast in your pyjamas," he said, "I could drive you back to your place so you can go see your family in the morning."

And, three hours later, you were doing just that, you, and Tyler, and Tyler's sisters all in your pyjamas, the dogs alongside you, starting to snore, a Christmas movie on the television, and the lights on in the background, nibbling on the leftover peppermint brownies you'd put out and a box of chocolates Tyler's Mom had brought.

And it felt like Christmas.


	30. Chapter 30

Boxing Day might kind of be your favourite. All of the busyness of the holidays was over, and you could just relax. You and Tyler had taken the dogs on a long walk this morning, and now you were hanging out on the couch at his place, trying to spend as much time together as possible before he had to leave late tonight. It was kind of weird, whenever he was going to have to leave, like both of you knew, but you never really talked about it, his suitcases by the door enough of a reminder.

You had your feet up on his lap, the World Juniors on the T.V. and your eyes on the snow falling outside, all overshadowed by Gerry squeaking his new toy incessantly.

Marshall was giving him the side eye from his spot on the couch, whereas Cash was straight up glaring at him from where he was wearing on the floor next to you, your hands running through his fur.

"I cannot believe he isn't tired yet," Tyler said, and then both of you did a little yell following by a laugh when he jumped straight around where your ankles were perched on Tyler's lap, leaping off again and then zooming around the room. "Please do not knock over the tree."

"We could give them the rest of their presents," you said, started to try and lift your legs up but Tyler held them down.

"I'll grab 'em," he said, sliding out from under your legs and going to grab them from the dining room. "Gerry! Is this for you?"

Gerry jumped up, grabbing the gift from Tyler's extended hand, and now the other dogs raised their heads, wondering why he was getting something they weren't. "Y/N wouldn't forget you," he said, giving them theirs as well.

" What is that?" Tyler asked, looking at the unusual ball shaped item Gerry was now trying to get in his mouth.

" You put treats in it and he has to roll it around to try and get them out," you said, "It's supposed to keep him occupied for a bit."

"Ohh," Tyler said, "Do we have treats?"

"I don't know, this is your house," you laughed, "I think you do? Or you could use kibble?"

Tyler left the room again and you could hear him ruffling around in the kitchen, coming back a moment later with his hand cupped. "Can I have this for a sec, bud?" he asked, taking the toy from Gerry, who sat down at Tyler's feet and then jumped, until Tyler slid the ball along the floor, and then he started running after it.

"What did you get?" Tyler asked Cash, taking the package for the skipping stones from Cash and reading it as he tore into the package. "Ooh, these float."

"Yeah, I thought they'd be good for the pool or the lake in the summer," you said, Tyler grinning at you.

"Can we try them now?"

"It's winter," you said, and he pouted, "You can if you want to swim to go get them," you said, wrapping your arm around Cash, because he was not going swimming in the frigid water.

Tyler settled for trying to skip them across the the floor, which didn't really work very well, but Cash went after them regardless. "I'll send you a video of us playing with them in the pool," Tyler promised, leaning over to tug at the rope attached to the ball that Marshall had in his mouth, sending him jumping off the couch as well, pulling it out of Tyler's grasp.

"That floats, too," you said.

"I will send you a video of that too," he smiled, going back to sit down, prompting you to lift your feet and put them back in his lap, leaning over to put his forearm around your head, placing a kiss to your temple. "You always get them the best gifts."

"And now we have the whole couch to ourselves," he said, stretching his arms across the back of the couch. You tried to move your feet off his lap now that you didn't have a large dog taking up space as well, but Tyler settled his hands over the top of your feet, "You can leave them there."

You laid back, watching the dogs playing with their toys, which didn't last very long for Cash and Marshall, who seemed to be falling asleep, Cash jumping up into an armchair to get more comfortable, while Gerry was still pushing his ball around the room, sniffing it where the treats came out.

Tyler glanced at Gerry and smiled a couple of times, usually when he made a noise or when the ball hit against a piece of furniture, but mostly his eyes were glued on the World Juniors on T.V., although you did share a glance when Marshall started snoring loudly.

The good thing, you discovered, is that while Tyler watched hockey, his hands tended to get restless, and were now running along the tops of your feet, just where your toes were. You glanced out of the corner of the eye, seeing that he wasn't even aware what he was doing, and you wiggled your toes a little, biting back a smile when his hand moved to center of your foot, and you relaxed further into the couch, moaning when his thumb pressed against that spot next to your arch, and then he glanced over at you, frowning. "Don't do that," he said.

"What?" you asked, shifting your feet a little, and looking at him, "Please?"

He sighed, and started rubbing your feet again, and then he stop suddenly again, and looked at you. "You're making sex noises."

"I am not making sex noises," you protested. Although, now that you thought about it, you were pretty sure your eyes rolled back in your head. But that wasn't the point.

Tyler gave you a serious look. "I know what your sex noises sound like, trust me."

"I'll be quiet," you promised, giving him a pleading look because you hadn't realized how sore and tired your feet were until he started touching them, and it wasn't like you had anyone to rub your feet normally. "Please? Can you just...?"

He sighed again, but he started massaging your feet again, and you let your eyes fall shut just a little. "Can you....harder?" you asked, when you felt his grip begin to loosen, the pressure not quite at what felt good, "Tyler, please?"

All at once his hands dropped away from you, and you opened your eyes. "Are you even listening to what you're saying?" he asked, in a tone that sounded kind of harsh, and you couldn't imagine asking him to rub your feet would make him this upset at you. Although, when he looked at you, his expression did soften a bit.

"I'm sorry," you said, and he started trying to rub your feet again, until you said, "I just didn't want you to stop."

"Oh my god," he said quietly, and you didn't think that you were meant to hear it, and then he pulled his hands off your feet, settling them on your shins, "My hands need a break, okay? I'll rub your feet again in a few minutes."

As long as he would again, you were all right, shifting a little and your legs moving under his hands, trying to get in a comfortable position where you could watch the T.V., until your foot brushed against something at the exact same moment you heard Tyler take a sharp intake of breath. "Are you....hard?"

"It's not my fault, okay?" he said quickly, "You're the one over there making all those moaning noises and being, like, "Oh my god, don't stop"."

You were looking at each other, and then both of you leaned forward giggling, the awkwardness disappointing and now it all made sense. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was going to affect you...like that."

"You have no idea," he said in a soft voice and, just like that, all the noise in the room faded into the background, and it was just you and him, your lips drawn together, meeting in the middle, and your hair falling over you, his hand going up to cup your cheek, walking on his knees on the couch to get closer to you. It was really, kind of awkward, with your belly in the way, but neither of you seemed to miss a beat, your lips moving together. Once his tongue trace your lips, seeking entrance,he reached for your hips, moving you into his lap, and then settling so he was sitting on the couch properly. And, oh god, his thighs felt so hard under you that you couldn't stop your hips from rocking back and forth, seeking any friction, and his hand went back and moved your hair off your neck, his lips connecting at the curve of your neck and shoulder, kissing your skin gently and then lapping at it, which only made your hips move more, and you were so sensitive, you were almost certain you could get off just like this. Tyler groaned, his hands going brace against your lower back, and you came out of your trance just a little.

"Sorry, I'm probably killing your legs," you said, shifting like you should move, but your body didn't want to.

"No, you're not," he said, his large hands holding your hips steady. "But we should, probably, move into the bedroom?"

He kissed you once, quickly, and then you were sliding down his legs, his hand on your back until your feet were on the floor, his fingers entwined with yours, and the both of you sort of tiptoeing out of the room, avoiding eye contact with the dogs. Tyler spun you around, kissing you when you got to the kitchen, and then instructed you to wait for him, kissing you once more before he broke away, and you watched as he dug into the kitchen cabinet, pulling out the container of rawhide bones he'd bought for the dogs for Christmas, setting a few down where the kitchen separated from the living room, and then he took your hand again, putting the remainder at the base of the stairs, and trying to ignore you laughing under your breath.

"I don't want any interruptions," he said, in a low, soft voice, his hand still holding yours and he placed his hand at the curve of your back, pushing you into his bedroom, and shutting the door behind him and locking the door as if there was someone in the house who could open it, his hand tugging on yours to spin you around to face him, "Hi," he said, moving closer and settling his hands on your shoulders, and then your waist which really didn't exist, and then your hips, like he didn't know quite where to put them.

"Hi," you said, smiling softly back, and he leaned in to kiss you, sort of bouncing off your belly, and you realized that this might be a little bit awkward now, but he seem undeterred just moving back like he meant to, and pulling off his shirt, smirking at you and then going to yours, and you raised you hands so he could pull it off. Immediately, he settled his head between your cleavage, nuzzling softly against your skin, like you were the most comfortable pillow ever, his head turning and his beard and then his lips moving against your skin, "Why are you wearing a bra?"

"We were in public," you laughed, which made your check move, and he pushed his face even more into them.

"So...? You never have to wear a bra in my house if you don't want to, just so you know," he said, his arm going around your back and unhooking your bra without even moving his face. It fell away, but stayed stuck between the top of your bump and his body, and then he starting kissing all over the swell of your breasts, gently cupping them.

"You can...more, if you want," you said, because he was being overly sensitive.

"Oh yeah?" he asked with a smirk, scraping his teeth against your skin and paying even more attention to your nipples, and your hand went to his hair, all the while you tried to stay standing. He must have noticed because then you he was walking you backwards towards the bed, and you were trying to figure out how the hell you were going to do this, even as your hand dipped into his pants, because you were bigger than you were last time. There was a whole section about sex in your pregnancy book, but you'd completely skipped over that section because you had thought it wasn't going to apply to you, and also because it was incredibly frustrating to read about the sex you could be having when you weren't getting any.

But apparently you were wrong.

Your hand, where it grasped Tyler's hair pulled him back up to kiss you, his lips looking full and his eyes looking dazed, even though you'd barely even done anything.

He smiled against your lips, walking you back towards the bed, trying to slide his pants the rest of the way down, your hand breaking away from where it had been stroking him. And then he was laying you down back on the bed, and gripping at the huge elastic band of your maternity pants, which seemed awkward, but it didn't seem to be bothering him at all, his hand running back up your thigh and then his fingers slipping between your legs, playing with your bundle of nerves, and then one long finger pushed inside you, and you moaned, your head resting back against the mattress. He tried to move over you, kissing you as he did this, but it wasn't really working, and then you eyes opening a little more.

"Hang on...I'm not supposed to be laying on my back like this," you muttered, and Tyler pulled back, looking over your body, and you wondering if you'd completely ruining the mood, even though his finger was still pumping in and out of you, the palm of his hand applying pressure with each pass. With his other hand, he reached for your leg, his hand slipping free from you, and you whined at the lost of sensation, feeling way too empty.

"Just wait a second," he said with a bit of a laugh, slipping his finger back inside you now that your legs were together, encouraging you to turn over to the side, your knees bent, and he slid up the bed behind you, his mouth moving to the back of your neck, and the pillows somehow perfectly arranged. "Comfy?"

"Mhmm," you said, as he moved behind you to spoon you. "You're so warm."

He slowly added another finger, seeming to watch for your reaction as he did so, turning them inside you which, someone seemed to hit all the right spots, and you let out a breathy "oh god."

"Feel good?" Tyler asked, from behind you, his mouth by your ear, and you could feel how hard he was against your back. He was moving his fingers slowly, just like he was last time, like he was just going to do this forever, but you needed more.

"Tyler?" you asked hesitantly, knowing that you had to ask, that you were stupid not to last time, because you were pregnant, and you had to be even more careful.

His movements slowed down, "Something wrong?"

"No," you grasped his wrist, trying to get him to keep doing what he had been doing. "Just... do you have a condom? Do we need one?"

"Uh...did I miss the baby's birth?" he asked, and you laughed.

"No, no. The other thing."

Recognition took over his features now, "I'm still clean," he said, still leaning hesitantly over you, "Is that okay with you? If we....without?"

"Yeah," you said, glancing down at your belly, "I just....wanting to be safe."

"I wouldn't do that to you," he said his voice quiet and serious, leaning down to kiss you on the forehead, brushing your hair out of your face.

You didn't think he would, either. You just thought, maybe, that he'd get so caught up in the moment that he'd forget.

"Is that what you want?" he asked, his fingers twisting in and out of you, "Are you ready?"

"Please?" you asked, and he laughed.

"You don't have to say, please," he said, pulling his fingers slowly out of you, and you watched with wide eyes as he stuck them in his mouth, pulling all your juices off, looking rather serious as his hand moved to your hip, "I need you to tell me if it hurts."

"Yeah," you said easily.

"Not even if it hurts," he clarified, "If it doesn't feel comfortable or not good, okay?"

You nodded, and he leaned down even more, pressing his forehead against yours, his eyes connecting with you. "Promise?"

"I promise," you said, and then he smiled, rolling off behind you, and you reached for for the sheet in front of you, gripping it between your hand and letting your eyes slide shut, feeling him at your entrance, and then every inch as he pushed inside slowly, filling you.

"Holy fuck," Tyler said, his voice weak, like he wasn't getting enough air, his lips pressed against your shoulder, "you're so tight."

You could hear him breathing hard behind you, and then he seemed to remember you were there too, running his hand up and down your arm. Your hips shifted restlessly, and Tyler made another noise, "Mmm..no, no, babe, don't do that, please."

You took a quick breathe and then asked, "You don't want to move?"

"No, I thought you didn't want," he said, starting to rock in and out of you. "Oh thank God." It felt tight, like he'd said, and you weren't sure if it was the position, or your thighs squeezed together for extra friction, or just everything in your body giving extra pressure, but you felt so full, in the best possible way.

It wasn't long before moans were coming out of your mouth, and they only increased when his hand squeezed around your boob. And you really, really needed to see him, so you tilted your head back, seeing his face scrunched up in pleasure, his curls messy around his face.

He captured your lips, and then you were moaning into each other's mouths, breaking away and kissing again as you moved together.

"I'm really...fuck...not gonna last, babe, I'm sorry."

You shook your head, squeezing your thighs even tighter, which were starting to shake. He made a noise, and then moved in you with renewed energy, kneading your breast in his hand, and you shifted until he was hitting just the right spot, your hand squeezing the sheets, "Oh my god, please."

"Yeah, yeah, I got you," he said, squeezing your breast, his callused hand rubbing against nipple just right, sending shockwaves throughout your entire body, and your back arched as you came and Tyler moaned, riding you out through it with several pumps of his his, his hand keeping your legs pressed together, shuddering as he released into you.

The sound of both of heavy breathing as you came down filled the room, Tyler's head resting against your shoulder, his fingers tracing little circles over your hips, and you relaxed into the bed, him slowly pulling out of you. He pressed a kiss to the back of your head, throwing his arm over you, and snuggling in close. "Are you okay?" He asked, lifting his head up a little and you nodded.

"Are you okay?"

He laughed as he put his head back down, his voice sounding weary. "I'm great."

His hand went down your arm and he pulled the blanket up when you shivered a little, eyes feeling tired as your muscles relaxed.

" Can we nap, for like, 20 minutes?" You asked. It seemed like kind of a waste, knowing that he's only be there for a couple more hours, but you didn't think you could wake up enough to get out of bed. Or speak for much longer.

"I was thinking the same thing," he said, snuggling into you. And then both of your bodies jolted when there was a bark at the bedroom door. There was a second bark just seconds later, and then both of you were laughing.

"Is it okay if I let him in?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Because you're naked."

"Your dogs have seen me naked," you laughed.

"Yeah, but this is sexually naked," he said, pressing up onto one arm, "or are you sleepy naked?"

"Sleepy," you responded, closing your eyes again, and you felt the bed dip and the door open, and then a dog jumping onto the bed.

" You need to nap if you're going to stay in here," Tyler said, "otherwise you're not allowed."

Luckily, Gerry curled up by your feet as Tyler got back in the bed, arm moving around you again, and you let yourself give in to the cozy warmth.

It was closer to 40 minutes later than 20 when you woke up, sliding out from the bed and picking a blanket up from the floor, pulling it around yourself as you walked towards the bathroom.

After you were done, you were about to open the door to go back into Tyler's bedroom, thinking you should probably wake him up because he had to leave in a couple of hours, but you gasped when you opened the door and he was standing right there. He placed his finger over his lips, prompting you to he quiet, and then walked you backwards into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

"I had an idea," he said, leaning over to turn the shower on and them, lifting your arms up and sliding his naked body under the blanket too, kissing your forehead. "I need a shower. But I also want to spend as much time as possible with you. Come with me?"

You really didn't even have time to firm an answer, him pushing the blanket off off you, and then opening the shower door for you, the water feeling the perfect temperature against your skin. You didn't know quite what to expect, but you were a little surprised when his hands went to your hair, running through it with the water. He reached behind you, grabbing the shampoo and putting a little in his palms, and then his fingertips were massaging into your scalp.

" Do you have a headache?" He asked quietly, and you could barely even here the sound of his voice over the water, mostly reading his lips. You shook your head no, and he applied just a little more pressure, and felt yourself relax into the sensation, his free hand pulling the showerhead off the hook, and running his hand through your hair as he washed all the shampoo off.

"Does it feel good?"

You smiled as you nodded, and then he was kissed you again, tentatively at first and then you heard the showerhead drop and bang against the shower wall as he kissed you more completely, your ass hitting the cold tile.

"Mm..uh.." he mumbled, and you could feel him growing against your belly before he broke away with a sharp pop. "Just..uh.." He kissed you once more, "hold that thought, okay?"

He stepped out of the shower, dripping water everywhere and you watched him curiously, eyeing his bare ass as he bent over to search through the cabinet, pulling out what he was looking for and then hopping back in the shower and nudging you out of the way, putting the mat he grabbed down on the shower floor.

"It's for the dogs," he explained, "So they don't slip."

" Oh, are they joining us?" You asked sarcastically, and he looked annoyed at the thought.

"I don't want you to slip," he explained.

"I'm not going to slip," you said, certain that even if you wavered just a tiny bit, he'd grab you. Hell, he'd even probably throw himself on the shower floor to cushion your fall before he'd let you go down.

"Humour me?" He asked, reaching for your hands, pressing a hard kiss to your lips, "It'd make me feel better."

"Mm.." you agreed, his hands running up and down your back as you kissed, the water spraying against your ankles as the showerhead hung forgotten.

Tyler's hands went to your hips and he slowly turned you around to face the shower wall, his palms coming against the back of your hands, lifting them to press against the tile wall. "Keep them there," he said, into your ear and you nodded, feeling his cock hard against your ass.

His hand dipped between your legs like he was testing if you were ready, and then his hands went to your hips and you moaned contently as he filled you once more, one of his hands covering yours as he started to move, your hips shifting back to meet him.

"You alright?" Tyler asked in your ear, his words sounded almost slurred.

"Mm..good," you managed, and you felt him sort of kick at the showerhead, his rhythm stuttering a bit, and then the water was hitting your hip, and then his hand was coming down, shifting until the water was moving right against your clit.

Your eyes straight rolled back in your head.

"Oh my god, oh my god," you chanted, your hands gripping the wall as you spasmed around him practically immediately, your muscles squeezing him tight as your entire body shuddered.

"Jesus fucking christ," you heard Tyler swear harshly as you came, his hand gripping your hip, holding you until your body relaxed. Only then did his movements start to slow, the water moving against your thigh now. "Are you....was that...too much? Can you..again?"

"More...please...more," you moaned, and your wish was granted, him moving against your walls which were still so sensitive from before, the water pressure just right against your clit.

You were pretty sure you were straight up screaming, having mini orgasm after mini orgasm that never seemed to end

And you could barely even pay attention to what Tyler was doing, but all you knew was that the more noise you made the faster he seemed to move so you didn't stop, and all the sensations just sort of kept building until you felt him pulse with release inside you, pressing the showerhead against you and grasping your breast, your mouth open in a silent scream as your body released all that it had left.

Your legs were shaking as his hands starting slowly lowering you to the floor, him slipping out from under you, sitting behind you and slipping his legs and arms around you so your back was supported against his chest, the water still swirling around you still.

"That was so fucking hot, the way you were screaming, and you kept just...mm" he caught you mouth in a hot kiss, your head leaning back. "Are you okay?" He asked, almost as and afterthought and you laughed.

"Yeah, I think I'm pretty okay."

"That's what I thought."

It was probably twenty minutes later when you were actually clean and dressed, laying on the bed with Marshall and Cash by your legs and Gerry settled by your chest. It was almost like nothing had even happened before, other than the fact that you were incredibly blissed out, watching Tyler as he buzzed around with the last minute things before he had to leave.

"I almost forgot to give you something," he said, looking at you before he left the room. "Eat your nuts."

You rolled your eyes, taking a handful from the bowl he'd brought you because apparently you needed a "protein-rich snack". It wasn't even really nuts, but rather pieces of the caramel popcorn his mother made ever year for Christmas that you suspected he'd picked thought to find the bits with the most cashews.

Tyler came back in the room with his suitcase, and you frowned, popping more of the caramel popcorn into your mouth. "You got me your old suitcase?"

He rolled his eyes. "No, what's inside," and you watched as he unzipped it, "I got you all the baby stuff."

"Oh my god," you said, watching as he started rifling through to show you what you suspected was all the Dallas Stars baby stuff available : onesies, and sleepers, and jerseys, and hats, and bibs, and slippers, and blankets. "Tyler, that's....way too much."

He only grinned at you. "I kind of have an in, y'know."

"Okay, but..."

Tyler held up his hand. "They kind of like players to take home stuff from time to time, market research or whatever. You just have to fill out a survey when you're done."

You were certain he was lying, but you had no time to accuse him of it because then Gerry was flying over you, grabbing a onesie from the suitcase in his mouth, and running out if the room.

" Gerry!" Tyler yelled, rushing after him, and you laughed as you could hear them brought the house, both of the older dogs looking up at you as if they were completely over this. Gerry came back into the room with Tyler on his heels, jumping onto the bed and dropping the onesie, curling up against your chest. Tyler sighed, picking up the abandoned piece of clothing and putting it back in the suitcase, and then looking at the clock, climbing into bed next to you, trying to push Gerry's head off your chest so he could put his head there, but it wasn't going very well.

"So am I leaving Marshall with you?" He asked, and you shook your head. It had been something that you'd sort of talked about over the past few days, Tyler mostly joking he'd never get Marshall to come with him. But you knew he wanted one of the dogs to stay with you until he came back in a few weeks time over his bye week.

"Cash?" He asked, "okay, but you have to promise not to feed him as much as you fed Marshall. You're the only one that I want to see bigger when I come back."

You laughed, but you still shook your head 'No' and he frowned, "Babe, I said I wanted you to..." he noticed you smiling, your arms wrapped around the dig who was as close to you as he could be without actually laying on top of you, "Oh, no, I said you can't have Gerry."

"Why?" You asked, snuggling closer.

"Because he's not being well behaved," Tyler said.

"Maybe he just needs a little individual love and attention," you said, and you were pretty sure both of you were giving Tyler your best puppy dog looks. "He listens to me?"

"I know he does," Tyler said, and you could feel him starting to give in.

" Please?"

"Fine," Tyler relented, "but you have to promise you'll take him to my mom's if he gets to be too much trouble."

"Yeah," you said, looking at Gerry, "but he won't." He licked you happily on the face.

Saying goodbye to Tyler was pretty much the same this time as it was last time. Only, it was Gerry who has sitting beside you as Tyler said goodbye, and he was told to be good for you rather than look after you. It was so similar, you didn't even realize the third difference until he was gone, and you were settled in bed with Gerry.

He kissed you on the lips when he said goodbye.


	31. Chapter 31

You were not sleeping with Tyler again.

Well, it wasn't the sleeping that was the problem really.

It was the sex.

You had been concerned, when you started this whole thing, when he suggested it, that it would somehow negatively impact your friendship, that it would make things awkward between the two of you afterwards. You were happy it didn't, because you were just the same friends you'd always been. Closer, even, maybe, because he was supporting you through a pretty big event in your life.

You didn't, expect, however, that the problem would be not touching each other after you'd gotten pregnant. It was kind of turning into a thing, and you didn't want to have some type of weird friends with benefits thing, especially not with Tyler. Not with one of your oldest and best friends. And certainly, certainly not after the baby was here. You couldn't imagine telling your child how he came to be, and then having to have him try and figure out he accidentally caught Mommy and Uncle Tyler kissing. Nope.

It probably wouldn't be a problem, though, because this was not like you. It was probably hormonal, or something.

You didn't really regret it, either, it was great. The last time was especially great, too, so you could really end this thing on a good note.

You had kind of, a little bit, been avoiding him. Not dodging his calls or anything, but more so just you personally not being the one to initiate the conversations or the text. You'd think it'd be easy not to have a connection with him for a couple of days, seeing how you weren't even in the same city, but he called or texted you pretty often.

You had, however, sent him a picture of Gerry licking your face with the caption 'Best New Year's kiss ever', to which he had responded with a picture of him making a kissy face between Marshall and Cash, along with the text 'Two are better than one'.

And, just like that, it was a new year, a fresh start, the year your baby would be born in.

Also the year you'd stop shuddering anytime you took a shower, thought about raking a shower, or looked at a shower. Yep, this was your year.

" How were your holidays?" Danielle asked, after you'd asked her, and you told her about your Christmas Eve dinner at Tyler's house, and your Christmas with your family, and then just said that you and Tyler just hung out on Boxing Day, leaving out the whole fucking part.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see him."

"Yeah, he wasn't really here for very long," you said, as you turned into yet another aisle of the baby store you were in. You didn't expect for there to be so much stuff, and it was completely overwhelming. "He'll be here for 5 or 6 days though, so you can see him them." And maybe she should just stay with you at all times, so you weren't alone with him.

Okay, that sounded bad.

But, he was your best friend. You wanted him to be just your best friend again.

You slowed down, with the cart you were pushing, not even really knowing why, looking at a machine designed to help you make your own baby food, and then realized that the baby wouldn't even be able to eat that type of food for months after he was born. But, breast pads, were those something you needed? Or a breast pump?

"I think we're in the wrong section of the store," you said, heading towards the back, where the bigger things were, your hand slowing when you felt the baby kick, and then saying "Dani.." keeping your hand settled right beneath where you felt the movement, and she reached over, settling her hand there, and you shared a smile.

"Did Tyler feel him?" she asked and you nodded. "What did he think?"

"He liked it?" you said, "He said it was cool. He really wanted me to eat dessert so the baby got a sugar rush and his sisters could feel it."

Danielle gave you a gentle smile, "Did they?"

"Yeah," you smiled, smoothing your hand over your belly.

"How were they?" she asked, smoothing her hand over some soft swaddle blankets.

"Good," you said, swallowing the emotion that you were feeling, "Everyone's been really good." Honestly, their reaction was better than your own family's. Your mom was better now, too, not that you were actually pregnant, but she made a few comments over Christmas that made you feel like she was being almost a little overbearing, in that way she usually was. Luckily, your sister had come to your defense pretty quickly, letting her know that you had everything handled. You'd also asked your sister to tell your father, because you weren't sure what his reaction was going to be like, and you weren't entirely sure you wanted to put yourself in that vulnerable position emotionally.

"Oh my gosh," Danielle said with a gasp, and you followed her down an aisle she was going, taking in all the little activity gyms for babies until she lead you to the one that she'd spotted. It was shaped like a whale and had a canopy so it looked like the baby was laying in the whale's mouth, and it had all types of ocean-themed toys hanging down. "It's UV resistant, and it has a pillow for tummy time."

Okay, it was really cute, but you were not buying that type of stuff today. You just wanted to focus on the baby's room. "I think we need to go to Pottery Barn or something, where it's just furniture," you said, "there's too much stuff here."

"But you can use it inside and outside," she said, "You love being outside."

It would be great, actually, to keep him shaded and safe, especially since he'd still be so little going into the end of spring and the beginning of summer. But you needed to focus on his bedroom. "You can get it for me for my baby shower," you said, starting to turn out of the store.

"He told you?" she asked, and you laughed, because she knew right away it was Tyler and not your sister, "I'm not telling him anything ever."

"You were going to keep it a secret?" you asked.

"Well, no," she said, "But we were going to wait awhile to tell you."

"I was going to buy a bunch of baby stuff," you explained, "and he just wanted me to wait."

"Okay," Danielle reasoned, "But I'm not tell him any more details. Especially not the theme. I didn't realize he told you everything."

"There's going to be a theme?" you asked, and Danielle just laughed.

"Anyways, how is Gerry doing?"

"He's fine," you said. He'd been better than fine, actually. Like, perfectly well behaved, and you hadn't really witnessed any of the destroying of things that Tyler had talked about. "Tyler's been stressed about him though."

"Why?" she asked with a laugh.

"I think he thinks that Gerry's gonna be mean to the baby or something."

"But he's so sweet."

"I know, except he does get excited," you said, "He tried to jump into the baby swing, and I thought Tyler was going to have a heart attack." It was probably a good thing, actually, that he was staying with you and being around all of this baby stuff you were slowly accumulating, to get him used to it. Really, though, the biggest thing you were worried about was the baby's toys getting mistaken for dog toys, which really wouldn't be a big deal at all.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you walked into the furniture store, not feeling so overwhelmed with the bright lights and colours, the measurements of the space you'd were thinking for the crib and rug saved on a note in your phone. When you got to the kid and baby furniture section, the gliders and rocking chairs were the first thing you saw, and you found yourself sinking down into one immediately, thankful for the cushioning, and fending off the salesman who asked if you needed help by saying you were just browsing.

"Oh," Danielle said, sinking into one a couple of chairs down from you, "you have to try this one."

You lifted yourself up, moving over, and letting your body fall into what felt like the most supportive cloud ever, closing your eyes and setting your head back. "I could fall asleep here."

It looked really like the most comfiest armchair ever, complete with an ottoman, except for that it glided. You eventually, did, however, get out of the chair, because you had to go look at other furniture.

You thought you'd just wanted a simple, white or grey crib. But, there were convertible options, which seemed like a great idea, but did you want one that converted onto a toddler bed, or one that converted into twin bed and a day bed ? And there were changing tables, which you'd never even considered. Did you need one of those, too?

"I don't know what I'm doing," you whispered to Danielle, and she looked around a little.

"Should we ask someone?"

"No, they'll probably just tell me to get everything," you said, "and the people who work here might not even have kids."

You toyed with your purse, wondering if maybe you should call your mom, but you were pretty sure she'd be driving home from work right now. And then you remembered there was another mom you call to ask: Jackie.

"Hi, honey," she asked after a couple of rings, and you explained that you were out shopping for furniture for the nursery.

"I was just wondering, do you think I need a changing table?"

"A changing table?" She asked, "Um..I mean, I had one, but I really never used it honestly. But it's up to you."

"Okay," you said, exhaling and looking at the other people in the baby section of the store, a woman who looked slightly more pregnant that you, standing with what you assumed was her husband's arm around her, both of them looking down at a crib together and discussing it together, and making the decision together, even though they probably knew just as little as you did.

"Are you alright?" Jackie asked, and you realized she was still on the phone, the store all at once seeming way too big and spacious.

"Umm, yeah," you said quickly, looking around and all of the various furniture options that surrounded you. "It's just...a lot?"

" Well, you don't have to make all the decisions all today," she said, and you had to suppose that she was right. "You know, if want another opinion, I could come out there this weekend? We could get pedicures, or lunch, and talk about it."

"Really?" You asked.

"Of course," she answered, in those same words Tyler had said to you so many times, with a similar emotion.

"That would be," you said, smiling at Danielle who was still standing near you, looking around, "that would be really amazing."

Danielle was still looking at you when you hung up, feeling much more solid in your feet now. "Tyler's mom is going to help me decide on the furniture. We can just look around, and get ideas."

This felt better to you, seeing what was out there before you made the decisions, giving you time to make sure everything would work. It started to feel fun again, and you found yourself being drawn to things that suited your colour scheme, the first of which were a set of crib sheets with blue watercolour dogs all over them.

"Did you want us to invite Tyler's Mom to the baby shower?" Danielle asked, and you paused, looking down at the package of sheets in your hand, and then back up again. For some reason, you were always so worried about making her feel uncomfortable. But, the thing was, if it wasn't Tyler's baby genetically, if you were married or with someone and having a baby, of course you'd invite her.

"Yeah," you answered, "and Tyler's sisters, too." You weren't sure they'd be able to make it (hell, you didn't even know when it was, other than that it was in March), but of course they were invited.

Your eyes locked on something from across the store, and you just had to have it: a light blue, whicker basket, shaped like a puppy right down to the whiskers and the ears. It was exactly what you were going for, and now you had inspiration. You picked up a couple of other things before you left, a neutral textured diamond rug that was super soft, and a wood typography print that said "Happiness is a warm puppy", before you went to the paint store to pick out some soft blue paint samples, grabbing some dinner before you headed home to Gerry.

He, of course, greeted both you and Danielle at the door, jumping up on your shins until you bent down to pet him, "hi, hi, did you miss me? Were you good?"

"Hi Gerry," Danielle said, once he started sniffing her, "of course you were good, weren't you?"

It was a little while later, right when you were sitting down on the floor in the soon-to-be nursery to eat your dinner, Gerry lying next to you with his head rested on your knee, both of you watching Danielle paint squares of the sample colours onto the wall when your phone lit up with a FaceTime call from Tyler. Of course.

You answered it, holding up your finger when it connected, continuing to chew, him looking like he was sitting on the bed in a hotel.

" Are you seriously eating right now?" He said, and you nodded, swallowing the piece of sushi that was in your mouth.

"Did you want me to ignore your call?" You asked, and he laughed, shaking his head.

"I guess not, no," he said, "What are you having?"

"Sushi," you said, using chopsticks to grab another piece from your plate on the floor.

"I thought you weren't supposed to have that?"

"Just not the raw fish," you said, "I got mostly vegetarian stuff." It wasn't quite as good as the real thing, but it'd tide you over."

"He's not trying to eat it?" Tyler asked, and you realized that he could see that Gerry had his head in your lap, your dinner next to him.

" No," you said, petting him with your chopsticks still in your hand. "He's being really good."

"Are you lying?"

"No," you said, "he came to work with me yesterday and everyone was saying how well behaved he was."

"You took him to work?" Tyler asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, in the afternoon. I just had some paperwork to do."

"Did he get you fired?" He asked.

" No," you laughed, "he just laid under my desk and put his head on my feet."

Tyler sighed, running his hand over his face. "Okay, I knew he'd be way better for you than he was for me, but I didn't think he'd be completely perfect."

"How are Marshall and Cash?" You asked, stretching your legs out, wondering if they too were pulling a Gerry.

"Fine. They'll probably ignore me for a bit after I get home though," he said, "How was your shopping trip? Did you get anything?"

"Ye–" you started, and then tilted your head to the side, realizing you hadn't told him you were going shopping. "How'd you know I was doing that?"

He only grinned at you. "My mom tells me everything."

**

Remember how earlier you said you really liked water during your pregnancy? Well, it was still true, your head rested back on the comfy massage chair, your feet soaking in warm water, and Tyler's mom in a similar position to your side. You'd only just reached for her hand, settling it over your belly, and watching her eyes light up as she felt your baby kick for the first time.

"Anyways," Jackie continued, "I got one of those changing tables when I had Tyler, but I really only used it for the first couple months? You're usually not always in their rooms anyways, and they get so kind of wiggly, it's almost just easier to change them on the floor."

"They have these things you can put on top of dressers now to use them as a changing table," you said, using your hands to illustrate what you meant, "I was looking at those?"

"They never had anything like that 20 years ago," she said, shaking her head. "At least then you can see if you use it often enough to justify buying a whole changing table."

You nodded, lifting your feet out of the water so they could be scrubbed. "I wasn't really sure about cribs, either? These convertible ones sound great, but I don't really know if I need something that can be a toddler bed and a day bed?"

"I just used the same crib for all three of my kids," she said, and you realized that it would be something to make sense to think about reusing, but you had no idea if you might have more, you were just focusing on the now. "But I've kind of found that anything that you can get as long of use out of as possible is a good idea."

"How about a bookshelf?" You asked, because you were realizing you were getting all of your questions answered right here, more so than any book you'd read, and you'd just be able to go home and choose the look you wanted, now that you'd seen all the options.

"Umm.." she said, her eyes glancing upwards like she was recalling it all, "I mean, Tyler used to climb all over his as soon as he started to walk, and it used to give me a heart attack. The girls, not so much."

So no bookshelf, got it.

"I think you can get those ones you attach to the wall," she continued, "or just throw all the books in a basket or something, so they're easier to grab when they're little."

You already had just the basket, too.

"One thing I'd really recommend would be a really comfortable glider. You spend a lot of time in it. I slept in it some nights too."

"Did you have it in your room or the nursery?" You asked. You weren't really sure, especially since you were planning to have the baby in your room for the first few months.

"The nursery," she answered, "I didn't want to wake Tyler's dad."

Well, that was one problem you wouldn't have to deal with. In fact, you'd quite happily keep your baby in bed with you until he was 5.

Or, maybe, until you started dating again. Which you couldn't even imagine.

45 minutes later, your toes were trashy polished and your feet smooth, thanking Jackie for the pedicure, and commenting how amazing it felt. "I thought you'd appreciate it," she said, grabbing her purse, "Tyler said your feet were getting sore."

Your face flamed red immediately, just thinking about what transpired when Tyler had massaged, or attempted to massage your feet.

" Are you alright?" Tyler's mother, Tyler's freaking mother asked.

"Yeah," you said, fanning your face. "Just, I get hot flashes sometimes. I'll be fine in a second."

Luckily, she bought this, and you decided to go for lunch next, only after you made her agree that this would be your treat. You were taking a sip of your lemonade, trying to decide just what you wanted to eat, Jackie admiring her pedicure, and then looking up at you. "Have you ever seen Tyler's feet?"

"Tyler's feet?" You questioned, "Yeah?"

"You know after the baby's born, when they take their hand and foot prints?" She asked, and you nodded, "he had these really long toes, right? They were kind of ugly, but also really cute. Anyways, the doctor comes in afterwards because they thought the nurse made a mistake or something, I guess?"

You nodded, following what she was saying.

" And his second and third toe on both feet were webbed. Has he ever told you?"

You shook your head 'no', even though a small part of you as now hoping this wasn't something genetic. "You got it fixed?" You asked, because his toes certainly were no longer like that.

"I wasn't going to, as it's really just a cosmetic thing, and apparently it can help with sports and balance and stuff," she said, "but he was really, really upset when I think he was 8 or 9 and kids started making fun of him? So we got it fixed then."

Your heart did kind of break a little then, thinking of a child Tyler being mocked at school, or the pool, or when changing in or out of his skates. But you also bit back a smile, knowing this was something that would probably embarrass him, if he knew you knew. The rest of the lunch was quite nice, really, mostly talking about baby stuff and your heart filling with excitement thinking about putting his room together, but you couldn't resist calling Tyler after you'd hugged Jackie goodbye and gotten back to your car.

You were grinning as he answered, just ready to launch right into it. "How come we've been friends for over 13 years and you've never told me you used to have webbed feet?"

You heard him inhale and exhale, "Which one of my sisters told you?"

When you didn't respond, he then asked, "my mother?" Followed by a quick laugh.

"Your mom tells me everything, too."

He laughed louder at that, and you found yourself laughing, too, feeling unsure as to why you'd been so nervous to be alone with him again.

It was only Tyler.

Only your best friend.


	32. Chapter 32

You were sitting on the floor of your office, continuing to sort through everything in the closet in your office, when you heard a knock at your door. Gerry looked up and you from where he was laying next to you on the floor, and then got up, barking as he ran towards the source of the noise.

You pushed yourself up, realizing that you wouldn't be able to sit on the floor for much longer. "Don't attack me," you heard Tyler say from the other side of the door, and you winced as Gerry jumped up, his nails scratching against the door, and you reached over, unlocking it and opening it just a bit. "Did you open the door all by yourself?" Tyler asked, bending over to pet Gerry, who was wagging his tail and trying to lick Tyler's face . "Thanks for pretending to be half as excited to see me as you were to see Y/N."

"I thought you'd use your key," you said, smiling as you watched Tyler continuing to say hello to a happy Gerry.

"I left it at my house here, I'm not taking it to Dallas with me. That's how I lost it the first time," he gave you kind of a weird look like you were nuts, him stepping into your house, and both of you meeting in a hug, one of his hands coming around your waist, and the other cupping the back of your head, kissing the top of your head while pulling your head to his chest, and he felt solid and steady underneath you. You stayed there for a moment, until Tyler made a yelping noise and jumped away from you.

"He stepped on my toe," Tyler said, lifting his foot up and rubbing it, while Gerry jumped back up on him again, and Tyler started laughing, pushing him away and rubbing him behind the ears while looking you over. "You look bigger."

"Thanks?" you said, biting back a laugh, because you were pretty sure that wasn't the way he meant to word it at all.

"You know what I meant," he said, asking Gerry in his dog voice if he got any bigger too, and then looking at Gerry looking out the open door and explaining that his brothers weren't here, but that they missed him. "I have something from Marshall and Cash for you," he told you.

You were frowning when he stood back up, getting his face really close to yours, and then sticking his tongue out, licking right in front of your cheek twice. "Did you just try to lick me?" you asked, wiping your cheek with his hand even though he hadn't actually touched his tongue to your skin.

"It wasn't be, it was the dogs," he said, holding his hands up, "I couldn't actually lick you like they asked, though. I don't know where you've been."

"Stop," you said, reaching out to shove his arm, and he laughed, stumbling backwards away from you.

"What were you guys doing?" he asked, stepping forward to shut the door behind him.

"Trying to finish cleaning stuff out of the closet," you said.

"You need help?" Tyler asked, lacing his hands behind his head.

"No, I'm almost done. I think," you said, "I'm just trying to get everything ready so you can start moving stuff tomorrow."

"Well, show me," he said, waving his hands like you should move, "You're taking up the whole hallway."

"Stop," you laughed, trying to walk faster now that he was on your heels. "You're not supposed to say stuff like that to a pregnant woman."

"Well, the baby's taking up the extra room," Tyler said, "it's not your fault he's stuck to you."

You shook your head, as you walked into the office, Gerry circling around the room, and you watched as Tyler eyed the things you'd gotten at the furniture store set in the corner of the room, along with the nice diaper bag your sister had gotten you for Christmas, as well as some baby socks and clothes you'd started to accumulate.

"He's not trying to eat all the baby's stuff?" Tyler asked, and you laughed, leaning down to pet Gerry.

"Of course not," you said, "he's being good."

"Well you might want to hide it because he's going to start being a little shit now that I'm here."

"No, he's not," you said, and then you went about showing him the desk, and the chair, and the bookshelf you'd need moved, as long as a couple of boxes of papers and books.

"And where am I putting this?" he asked. You paused, realizing that this was something that you hadn't considered.

"Umm, my garage," you said.

"The books and stuff, yeah. What about the furniture?"

"Yeah, in the garage," you said, and Tyler gave you an amused look, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And where are you going to park?"

"In the driveway?"

"So you're going to go in and outside with a baby, all your bags and shit, when it's raining or snowing, by yourself?"

"Well, I'm hardly the first person who's had to do that," you said.

"Yeah, but don't you want it to be as easy as possible?" he said, and you found yourself looking around at your furniture again.

"Maybe I can put it in my bedroom, then."

"I thought you said you were gonna have the baby sleep in there?" Tyler asked. That's right. You'd need space for a bassinet and the glider you'd ordered, and you knows what else. You sighed, rubbing your thumbs over your forehead like you had a headache, and then running your hands through your hair, frazzled that you hadn't though of all of this, that Tyler had just walked in and found all the holes I your plan. Or lack thereof.

And you thought about not keeping it, but it was nice furniture, and what if you moved one day, or you wanted to use it when you transitioned to nursery into a room for a school-aged child.

"Maybe I can–" you started, ready to leave the room and see if you could somehow configure something someway, either in your bedroom or in the garage, but Tyler grabbed your wrist.

"You can just store your desk and stuff in my garage."

"But Ty–"

"It's fine," he said, gently now, letting your wrist drop. "There's plenty of extra space. And I'm so close, if you miss your furniture, you can always come visit it."

You made a small noise, like what he said was funny, but you blinked at the same time, and a tear started rolling down your cheek, and you tried to duck your head to pass around Tyler and get back to work.

"Umm..." he said slowly. "What is happening?"

"Nothing," you said, taking some papers out from a box on the desk, restacking them, and then putting them right back where they were.

"So are you doing that hormonal crying for no reason thing again? Because I thought you were over that."

"I'm not," you said, taking a deep breath which came out more shuddery than you intended, especially when Gerry pushed his head against your leg, and Tyler cocked his head at you.

"It's just furniture?" He asked, "It's nothing you need to cry over."

"I didn't know what to do with it," you said, looking around the room and sniffling, and then smoothing your hand over your belly. "I'm having a baby."

He chuckled. "Uh, yeah? Are you just realizing this now?"

"No, like I knew I was pregnant," you said, "but I didn't realize I was having a baby."

He frowned, "That's not..," and then he looked at you, watching as you sat down in your desk chair, running your hand all over your face and spreading all your tears around in the process. "I don't understand what you're saying? What are you talking about?"

"Like, it didn't seem real, that I was actually going to have a baby?" You said, leaning your elbow on the desk, "and, I'm sort of realizing that there's actually going to be a baby. And I don't think I'm ready."

Tyler's eyes widened and then he immediately turned, before coming back to you. "What are you talking about?" He asked, and then he crouched down in front of the chair you were sitting on, resting his hand on your knee, "Of course you're ready."

"But I didn't even think about where to put the furniture, and I have to wash his clothes, but I don't even have baby detergent, and my app said I'm supposed to start putting my hospital bag together this week," the words came flooding out from you before you could even realize what you were saying, or that you'd even been thinking it.

"Babe, you're.." Tyler started, and then shook his head a little bit. "Wait, what? You're worried about having all the stuff ready?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus christ," Tyler exhaled, sitting back on his heels, and pausing to run his jand through his hair. "I thought you were freaking out about being a mom."

"Well, I am a bit, but I think that's normal?" you said, resting your hands on your knees and looking around the room. "I don't even have diapers."

"Well, you've got tons of time," Tyler said with a laugh.

"Yeah, but your mom thinks he's going to come early."

"I think she meant a few days early, not a few months," he said, and you saw him tap his fingers like he was counting, "You've got, what? Three months? That's tons of time."

"Yeah, but it could go by really fast," you said. It felt like just yesterday you found out you were pregnant, and now you were just starting your third trimester.

Suddenly it felt like you had to have everything done right now, so you pushed yourself up out of the office chair, pushing the box you'd been putting things in closer to the closet, and then awkwardly sitting yourself down on the floor, Tyler watching you the whole time in amusement.

"Are you gonna get stuck down there?"

"No," you said, leaning forward to pull another box out, which was filled with tax stuff and then you remembered you had to look into life insurance. And your eyes filled up with tears again. You tried to stop it, but pretty soon you were leaning forward, wiping at your face, and you heard Tyler sigh behind you, which only made you cry harder, because he was supposed to he on vacation, and instead he was stuck helping his pregnant friend build a baby's room. Or, rather, he didn't even get a chance to help you because you didn't have everything put together, and now you were having like an emotional breakdown just minutes after he got there.

"Babe, it's gonna be fine," he said, and you could feel him moving behind you, Gerry pushing his nose into your knee and then your arm.

"I didn't know where to put the furniture, Tyler," you said, your anxiety showing through in your voice.

"Yeah, well, I did, so it's fine," he said, finally crouching down next to you, looking in your eyes as if to judge your reaction to everything he said. He looked concerned, but really you were fine. Or you would be fine.

"I'm just feeling really overwhelmed right now," you confessed, your voice high and shaky, and now Tyler sat down on the floor next to you, crossing his ankles and leaning back on his arms like he was settling in to watch a movie.

"Okay, so, all this," he said, gestering to the room around you. "You already said all of this is really just for you, anyways, because he doesn't need that much, right? So, say you just had the baby, without doing anything else, would it really be that bad?"

"Yes, because I don't have anywhere for him to sleep or –"

"The crib's being delivered in a couple of days and I'm going to put it together for you."

"But I don't have anywhere for him in my room," you said, "and I have no diapers."

"He'd still have somewhere to sleep though," Tyler countered, his voice slow and even, "Until you ordered something for him to sleep in in your room. And you'd either take him with you to buy diapers, or you just ask someone to go buy them for you."

"But-"

"Obviously, you'll have more stuff and be more ready," he said, "I'm just saying it's going to be fine okay, even if everything isn't perfect. I'm here to help with the room, and I know Danielle will help you get your bag ready, and I bet you could call your sister at 4 in the morning and she'd find a way to bring you diapers. It's gonna be fine."

He was right though, really - you knew that. You rubbed your hand over your neck, releasing the tension this time. "I think I kinda freaked out a bit."

"Ya think?" He asked sarcastically, and you smiled just a little bit, his arm coming to wrap around you and then release you. "It's alright. If I was having a kid, I'd probably be freaking out ten times harder than you are, and I don't have any of those motherly urges you have."

You sat back, petting Gerry who was surrounding you, trying to get your attention.

"Give her kisses, bud, make her feel better," Tyler said, and you yelped, falling back gently as Gerry started licking your face. "When's the last time you ate?" when Gerry looked at him, he said, "Not you, Gerry, Mama."

"Why?"

"Because you get kind of bitchy, or like cry a lot when you're hungry now," he said, standing up quickly, likely before you could hit him.

"I do not."

"A little bit," he said, pinching his fingers together, and then sliding his hands in his pockets. "Hey, is it alright if I stay here tonight?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"I'm gonna order us some pizza and then I'll come help you finish up here, okay?" He asked, and when you nodded, he asked, "the usual?" before ducking out into the kitchen. Now that your mind was settling, you let yourself think over exactly what it was you needed to get accomplished over the next couple of days. When Tyler came back in the room, you were settled on your side on the floor, petting Gerry who had flopped down next to you. He set a bowl of chips on the floor, and very obviously used his foot to push it towards you, giving you a very pointed look, and you smiled, looking up at him.

"Do you think if I buy a stroller while you're here you could carry it inside for me? I think it'll be heavier than I'm supposed to lift right now."

"Yeah, sure," he said, "You want to grab it tomorrow?"

"I have a doctor's appointment," you said, propping your head up, "and I need to buy the paint. What color do you like better?" You asked, nodding towards the three squares painted on the wall.

"The blue one."

"They're all blue," you said, and then you laughed when when he confessed he didn't see a difference.

"You want me to come with you to your doctor appointment and then we can go to the baby store and to grab the paint afterwards?"

"But I thought you were needing to move all this stuff tomorrow?"

"It'll take me like two hours, tops," he scoffed, "and then I'll be bored."

"Well, my doctor's appointment isn't going to be that exciting," you said, "I don't have an ultrasound, so I just have to get my weight and blood pressure checked and stuff, and they'll listen to the baby's heartbeat."

"But I like shopping," he said, "and I'll buy you dinner if you're well behaved."

"Tyler," you huffed.

"What?"

"I wanted to make you dinner after all you're doing to help me."

"I'm here 5 days, you can do that any other night," he said, "and we'll be tired after all the shopping, we won't have any energy left for anything other than grabbing some take-out and then coming home to Netflix and chill."

You must have made a weird face, because Tyler quirked his lips at you. "I was talking about watching Grey's Anatomy, what were you thinking about?"

"Nothing," you said, pointing to the boxes in the corner of the closet, close to where he was standing. "Could you pass me those, please?"

He set them down next to you, and you started sorting through them, while he sat down in the desk chair, spinning a little back and forth. "Speaking of the doctor's, when do you have to stop flying before the baby comes out?"

"Umm..34 weeks, I think, why?"

"34 weeks," he said, his eyes gazing up like he was thinking, mouthing random numbers. "Okay, can you tell me the date? I give up."

You fished in your pocket for your phone, because it wasn't like you had it memorized yourself, opening your app. "March 1st."

"That works out perfectly."

"Works out perfectly for what?" you asked.

"Your reading break," he said, and instantly knew what he was talking about. Quite often, you'd take that week, which was usually at the end of February, off as your vacation, since it usually wasn't very busy. And, usually, you'd go visit Tyler on Dallas. Well, you'd even gone a couple of times when he'd been away or when he'd only been there for a few days. It was even nice when he wasn't there, because you'd take over for the dog sitter so you had company, and it was nicer than any AirBnB. "And you can relax before the baby comes, which I think you kind of need," he looked at you, mocking like you might get stressed out at any moment. Before you could even answer, Tyler laid down on the floor, his hat knocked a little in his head, and he took Gerry's paw in his hand.

"Please Y/N," he said in an incredibly high-pitched voice, brushing Gerry's paw against your chest. "I'm gonna turn into a demon dog again if I have to go more than a month without seeing you, and me and all my brothers are going to be so sad." Tyler sniffed dramatically, making Gerry wipe his own paw across his face like he was crying.

You laughed, pressing a kiss to Gerry's head. "I'll have to check with my doctor, but as long as it's okay I'll come."

You shut your eyes when Gerry simultaneously pulled his paw from Tyler's grasp and sneezed right in your face.

"I don't think that's gonna make her wanna come, dude," Tyler said, rubbing him behind the ears.

"Will you be there?"

"Yeah, the whole time," he smiled, "Although I'll actually have to work when you lounge around by the pool all day doing nothing other than growing a baby or whatever."

"How do you even know when I'll be there?"

"It's on the university's website," he said, "I checked and compared our schedules."

"Oh," you said, pushing the box you were finished sorting out of the way, and starting to kneel so you could stand up.

"What do you need? I can grab it for you."

"I have to pee," you said, pushing your hand on your knee to try and stand up

"Sorry, can't help you with that," he said, lifting his leg up and putting his foot against your bum, pushing as if that would actually help you stand up.

"Thanks," you rolled your eyes only you were standing.

"Anything I can do to help," Tyler said, blinking his eyes as if he was perfection.

When you came back, he was standing up, a couple of books in his arms, thumbing through them and you sat down in the desk chair this time.

"Cute pictures of you and your sister: keeper," he said, placing what you recognized as a family photo album in the box you designated for things you wanted to save.

He waved a few high school yearbooks in front of you next. "Cute pictures of me: keeper." Tyler flashed you a grin as he added the books to the same box.

"I think that's everything," you said with relief, ready to head to the couch and put your feet up.

"Mm.." Tyler mused, standing on his tiptoes and lifting his head to look over the top shelf. "There's one last thing."

He pulled a box which had to be buried way in the back, something you'd forgotten you'd even had. Your eyebrows must have raised a little or your eyes widened because, the next thing you knew, Tyler was grinning mischievously at you.

"What is this?" He asked, setting it down on top of the bookshelf, away from you, and toying with the lid, whispering "Is this your sex toy collection?"

"No, that is not my sex toy collection."

"So where's that then?" He grinned slyly at you.

"Tyler!" You said, and he started laughing loudly. You wanted to hit him, but you also didn't want to get up, so you nudged Gerry with your foot, "Get him!"

Gerry stood up, and then jumped up towards Tyler, his paws connecting with Tyler's thigh.

"A little higher and a little more to the centre," you said, and you watched Tyler's face change as he realized where you were you were prompting his dog to hit him.

"Hey, that's not nice," he said, extending his hand to block Gerry, who was continuing to try and jump up on him. "Eat your chips, your bitchiness is showing."

You were laughing under your breath, eating a chip because you were hungry not because you were bitchy and, before you knew it, Tyler was popping the lid on the box.

"Ohhh.." he said with recognition, "this is the boyfriend box."

"Ex," you clarified.

"Obviously," he said, holding up a rose that had been dried at one time, but that now looked completely decrepit, sending a couple of petals floating to the floor, which Gerry tried to catch in his mouth. "Someone was angry," he said, now pulling a picture of you with your arm around someone, only that person's face had been scratched out extremely roughly with a pair of scissors. "Let me guess, Jason?" He dangled now the incredibly cheap necklace with a 'J' on it that had seemed incredibly sweet your first year of college, but that you became thankful was incredibly cheap so you could break it right in half after you'd caught him with his tongue shoved down his 'study partner's' throat in the library. "Remind me not to mess with you," Tyler said now, his eyes wide.

"You threatened to punch his face in and key his car."

"Well, I wouldn't have had to if he wasn't a dick," Tyler said , "And I didn't threaten to do anything to his car. His car sucked, it was enough of an embarrassment for him just driving it around."

He tossed the stuff back in the box, and then frowned, thumbing something you couldn't see. "Why do you have a picture of Nathan, cut out from the school year book it looks like in here? You never dated him."

"Ty-"

"Oh, you had a crush on him?" Tyler grinned, "Is that why you never had a boyfriend in high school?"

"It's not like anyone was even into me," you scoffed, the insecurities you'd felt back then bubbling to the surface, even though it seemed like forever ago. Even though you felt like a completely different person back then, like you wouldn't even recognize yourself if you went back.

"Are you insane?" Tyler said loudly, "hello?" He waved the picture in front of you.

"What? He liked me?"

"Yes," Tyler said seriously, nodding, "he flirted with you all the time? And you just kind of sat there and did nothing but shut the conversation down?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" You asked, upset now that you could have had a boyfriend back then, if only you'd known.

"Umm..not to sound like a douche, but i was kind of only interested in getting laid. Or close to laid, any contact with a female, really, and you kind of pissed me off for a bit because you kept getting in the way. But, had I known you and Nathan could have been a thing, I definately would have hooked you up if only so Kirsten and I could have had some alone time," Tyler said, and then grinned at you, "I might actually still have his number somewhere. Do you want me to...?"

"No," you said quickly. You were not dating when you were six months pregnant. It when you had a six month old, for that fact. Maybe you'd reconsider when you had a six year old.

"Hmm.." you heard Tyler say now, toying with something, and then he whispered, "You're not still in love with Daniel, are you?"

"No," you shook your head. You hadn't been, not for a long time.

Tyler shrugged, "Well, you said you slept together, and it was after you broke up. I don't know."

"I said I slept with him, not that I was in love with him." And you wouldn't have said anything at all had Tyler not asked, right before he was about to...sleep with you, to try and make the baby that was now inside you.

"What I Love About You," Tyler read, pulling the book from the box and leaning back against the bookshelf. " I never get tired of your...gentle caresses?" He was trying to be serious, but he burst out into goggles immediately.

"Tyler!" You said. At the time, it had been the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for you. And Daniel was what you'd considered to be your only 'adult' relationship, two years together, where you'd actually talked about your futures together, not just something you were doing because it seemed fun or felt good right now.

"You deserve the 'most beautiful' award," he'd continued, "I love your taste in 'style (you always pick out the best outfits for me)' Is this why you broke up with him?"

"No," you said, "it was sweet. He was a good guy." And Tyler made a sound like he was unimpressed.

"He was, actually," Tyler admitted, "Why'd you break up with him then?"

"He was.." you started, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.

"Too soft?" Tyler asked.

"No, he wasn't soft, he was sensitive," you said. He was almost...too emotional, which kind of sounded bad. Really, it was more that whenever you were upset or stressed it seemed to affect him more than it did you, and it was almost like you ended up consoling him. And, when you had problems, together or separately, it was like he only wanted to ignore them, to not feel them, or work through them, or solve them. He wasn't bad, not at all, you just didn't feel like you were a team. "I don't know, I guess he just wasn't the right fit for me?"

"Mmm.." Tyler said, snapping the book shut, "well I hate him now."

"Why do you hate him?" You asked with a laugh, "what did he ever do to you?"

"You hate him so I hate him," he said simply.

"I don't hate him," you said, "I don't love him, but I don't hate him." He'd be good for someone, somewhere. Probably.

"Oh," Tyler said, putting the book back in the box and replacing the lid.

"Why do we always have to talk about my relationships? What about yours?" You'd already spent way too long discussing your life during the whole Tinder fiasco.

"I don't think flings count as relationships," he said, taking his hat off his head and shaking out his hair now, until it stuck up in every which way direction, like it always looked when he first woke up on the morning. "I don't have a box."

"Kirsten, then," you said, the last time he'd actually referred to anyone as his girlfriend. To you, at least.

"Which time?" He smirked, and you rolled your eyes.

"The last time?"

"She was annoying."

"The time before that?"

"She was annoying," he repeated, and you wanted to groan.

"Why'd you even date her in the first place?"

"Because she was into me," he said, "and she also let me feel her up before I even asked her out."

"Oh my god," you said.

"I was an idiot, I didn't know what I was doing. It was alright though, the suffering through her screaming and craziness was worth it, " he said, spinning the box around with his finger, his voice getting gentle now. "You want to keep this right?"

You leaned back in the desk chair, settling your hand on your belly, looking around what would be your son's room, and you shook your head. "No, I think I'll let it go."

Tyler looked surprised, but you didn't even flinch when he put it in the box of things you were getting rid of.

It was time for a fresh start.


	33. Chapter 33

The last time you went to the baby store, you were overwhelmed because you didn't know what to get. This time, you were overwhelmed, for a completely different reason: it was like you were shopping with a child.

Luckily, Tyler had behaved at the doctor's office with you, and didn't make any unusual or strange or embarrassing comments. And, luckily, the doctor had said that it would be fine for you to fly to Dallas at the end of February, as long as everything stayed the same. He'd also been great at the paint store, even though you'd second guessed yourself a little on the colour, but finally went with your gut.

Unluckily, though, you didn't have a leash to put on Tyler.

You were bent over the shopping cart, reading your list, and peering looking at the pacifiers, just wanting to have a couple of different options on hand, when Tyler had wondered off. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw somewhere carrying a whole stack of packages, but you didn't really put together that it was Tyler until a package came hurling towards you at the same time Tyler announced "I got the diapers," and starting laughing, which caused you to lose focus, the package bouncing off your belly and into the shelf, and you shut your eyes as you heard items banging around.

"Sorry," Tyler said, dumping the remaining packages in the cart and walking towards you, brushing his hand over your belly, "I meant to hit your Mom not you."

You rolled your eyes, crouching down to start picking up the pacifier packages that had been knocked off the hang tab.

"I got it," he said, pushing you out of the way.

You stood up, peering over to look at the packages, "Diapers aren't all the same size, you know" you said, "why didn't you wait for me?"

Tyler shrugged, "There was a lady there who had a baby with her, so I asked and she said to get the newborn ones and the size 1, so I did. So you can relax and have the baby whenever you feel like it now, since you've got diapers which seemed to be the thing stopping you. I'd prefer it if you waited until we were out of the store though."

"He's not ready yet," you said, finally just throwing in a couple of different pacifier options in the cart, along with a Wubbanub pacifier that had a little puppy attached to it, that one of the woman in your prenatal yoga class had said you had to get, because you could settle the stuffed animal against the baby's chest, and they wouldn't lose their pacifier as easily.

"Yeah, so my mom said that you probably going crazy because you're starting to nest, and it'll probably just get worse because you'll get extra energy," he said, grabbing the side of 4the cart like he was trying to guide you to a certain location, "which sounds insane, and I'm really glad I'm not gonna be here for it."

"Thanks," you said sarcastically.

"I meant because I don't want to get in your way," he said, "and, if it makes you feel better, my mom apparently has no faith in me because she keeps telling me how to do the edging in part when you paint a room, and I'm pretty sure she's gonna just show up and do it for me."

"The cutting in part?" You asked, and he nodded, "I can do it."

"Not while you're pregnant, you're not," he said, smiling over his shoulder at you, "you don't think I can do it, either?"

"Well, you kind of have giant man hands.."

"Giant man hands?" He repeated under his breath, laughing and shaking his head. "I can be delicate."

You slowed down, looking over the shelf for the pillow you were looking for, and then Tyler started giggling just as you were putting it in your cart.

"My brest friend," he said, pointing at another pillow on the shelf. "That's clever. Why aren't you getting that one?"

"Because I want this one because he can sit up in it too," you said.

"Fine," Tyler grumbled, and you were looking back down at your list, heading to get some baby-friendly laundry detergent, when you realized he wasn't by your side anymore.

"Babe!" he called from a few aisles over, and you looked up on instinct, only to see that he had taken a breast pump off a display, and was holding it up to his own chest, his eyebrows raised, and you could see another man who seemed to be there shopping with his pregnant wife start to laugh at this action as well.

You ducked your head and continued your mission for laundry detergent, hoping that nobody would associate the two of you together.

"Hey, Y/N!" Tyler called, waving his arm at you, "Do you need this?"

And now everyone in the store was looking at him and, by extension, you. You shuffled towards him, as quietly as you could, grabbing the breast pump out of his hand and trying to put in back on the display above the ones in boxes. "I swear to god, Tyler, if my picture ends up on the internet," you spoke in a harsh whisper, and he laughed again, until you looked up at him, shooting him daggers.

"Woah, you got the angry mom look nailed," he said, laughing a bit, "Okay, okay, I'll behave. I was just trying to make this fun for you."

"By breaking the store?" You were going to say that he was making you more stressed, but that wasn't really true. You actually didn't feel stressed so much about trying to make all the decisions, more just so a little mortified at all the attention he was attracting. And how much he was acting like a child.

"I didn't break anything," he said, coming by you and walking around, kissing you on the top of the head and then taking the cart from you, "I'm sorry, I'll help. What's next?"

"A stroller," you said, "or a travel system."

"What's that?"

"It has a car seat that locks in so you can use it when they're really little," you said as you got to the stroller and car seat section, looking back at Tyler who was now leaning over the cart looking at his phone. "This might take awhile," you warned.

"Yeah, it's your baby's first vehicle, it's important," he said, "take your time."

You did take your time, looking over safety ratings, and trying to evaluate how easy the strollers would be to fold down and put in your car, and maneuver through shops as well as sidewalks and pathways. You were assuming Tyler was just on his phone waiting for you, until you heard a noise from behind you and looked to see the stroller Tyler was standing by fold down with a mechanical noise. His eyes widened as bent down again, pushing the button again and it popped right back up.

"You can charge your phone with it," he said, "and it has lights." Sure enough, he pushed another button, and lights came on on the front of the stroller. He looked rather impressed, but you shook your head.

"Not that one," you said.

"Why?" he asked.

"It's way too much," you said, waving your hand at....all that. And all that also cost $1,200. "I want something safe and reliable, and a little rugged. Less Cadillac, more minivan."

"Minivan?" Tyler laughed. "Okay, then."

When someone who worked there came over to ask the two of you of you needed any help, Tyler started talking to him about all-wheel suspension and shocks, and you kind of wandered off, wanting to get more of a feel for how heavy the car seats were and how easily they snapped in and out, and how much storage they had.

"Come look at this one," Tyler said, now that the salesman had left, standing in front of something that looked rather sporty. "He said you can buy an extra seat to add on, and you can also get an attachment for a bigger kid to stand on."

"An extra seat?" You asked, scratching at your head, "there's only one baby."

"I meant for later. I thought you always said you wanted two or three kids?" he asked, toying with the handle on the stroller and looking up at you. "You said, just now, you wanted a minivan. You changed your mind?"

"Oh, uh," you said quickly, looking away and then back at him again. "No, I'm just. I'm just focusing on the one right now."

You were thankful when he didn't push it, showing you a jogging stroller next because he thought you might want to run with the baby, which you declined because it would be winter right when he was old enough for that, and you didn't know what he'd be like as a toddler. Maybe later. You were just focusing on the now.

And if he offered you more sperm right now or tried to reason with you that you could still have more kids no matter what because your eggs were frozen, or he offered you the hope that maybe you might meet someone down the line, you didn't exactly know how you'd react.

For now, it was just you and your baby boy.

So, you decided on a travel system that seemed not only safe, but that had a carriage mode, car seat carrier, and toddler seat option, plus plenty of storage.

"What are you doing?" You whisper-yelled at Tyler, who was now walking up the aisle pushing the stroller you selected, turning so quickly with it the wheels skidded across the floor. "Just testing it," he said, holding the handle now with one hand, spinning it in a circle. "It's nice. You want this one?"

"Yes, please," you said, and he picked up the box, sliding it into the bottom of the cart. "I just need to get a bassinet type thing and we're done."

"'K," Tyler said, pushing the cart and following you to the right section of the store. Now that you had the stroller, this part should be easy. "Oooh, this one has bluetooth."

"Why would the bassinet need bluetooth?" You laughed.

"So the baby can listen to tunes," he said, like it was obvious.

"He's gonna be right there, I have a speaker in my room."

"Maybe it has surround sound."

You laughed under your breath, deciding on one that adjusted right to the height of your bed so he would be right there, and it rocked, vibrated, and had it's own nature sounds, so you were pretty sure he'd be sleeping through the night right off the bat. How could you not with that?

"Done?" Tyler asked, and when you nodded, feeling so much better now that you felt prepared, he held up his hand for a high five. "We killed it."

Tyler was pushing the very full cart ahead of you towards the cash register, until he suddenly stopped, and you very nearly bumped into him, following his gaze to what he was looking at.

"No," you said immediately. "I am not buying that."

"I wasn't suggesting you buy it," he said, getting closer to the ride-on vehicle, which actually had straps on the seats like it was made for off-roading, and a radio with a freaking auxiliary cord, according to the sign. "I'm buying it."

"No, you're not," you said, seeing as he already looked like he was trying to figure out how you actually went about purchasing the thing.

"You're not the boss of what I can and can't buy," Tyler grinned at you.

"No, but I'm the boss of what I accept into my house."

"It's not for your house," he said, "Your backyard's way too small. It's for mine. He can use it when he comes to visit me."

"It's $1,000 Tyler, Jesus," you said. The stroller and the bassinet combined was less expensive. "You could buy a playhouse or a a slide and swing set for less than that."

"Oh," Tyler said, craning his neck to look around, "Do you think he'd like that, too? I think there's a good spot in my backyard where something like that could go."

"Tyler ," you pleaded, because this was all way, way too much. And he turned and looked at you, probably moved by the emotion on your voice.

"I want him to have fun stuff at my house," he said, more quietly now, like he was hopefully asking your permission.

"Okay, but can you wait? He's not going to be able to use any of this stuff right away," Tyler looked away from you, and then back at the ride-on vehicle longingly, "That's for kids 5 and up," you said, "something way better might come out by the time he's old enough."

"You're right," Tyler relented, "but don't think I'm going to forget."

You started walking again, but you kept noticing Tyler glancing around, slowing down like he was searching for something. "What are you looking for?"

"One of those baby swings? Like the kind you hang from a tree?" He said, "he'd be old enough for that, right?"

"I think they have to be able to sit up," you said, "like six months at least."

"Oh," Tyler said, an air of disappoint in his voice, and your heart straight up melted.

"He could probably use a Jolly Jumper this summer," you said, "maybe you could put it in a tree, or the doorway to your deck."

"Okay," Tyler said, smiling softly at you now, and you went off in search of just that. A few minutes later, you'd purchased all your baby gear and Tyler had gotten the Jolly Jumper.

"What did you want to eat?" He asked as you headed back to the car.

"What do you want?" You said back, watching him push the absolutely loaded shopping cart, where he'd have to lift everything intothe trunk, and then carry it all into your house for you.

"I asked you first," he said, "you choose."

He was giving you that look like he wouldn't back down, and you knew you had to give in. "Sushi?" You asked, "is that okay?" You were kind of addicted to veggie rolls, on a bit of an avocado kick.

"Yeah, sounds great," he said, turning to look at you, nodding towards your belly. "Besides, two beats one. I'm outnumbered."

"Yeah, but how much longer is that gonna last?" You asked with a laugh.

"Uh.." Tyler said, "Kind of always."

**

One of the most unusual things when you got home the next day after work was that Gerry didn't greet you at the door like he'd been doing for the past few weeks.

You assumed maybe Tyler had let him out, trying to kick off your shoes as fast as possible because you'd been thinking about coming home all day and seeing the colour you'd chosen on the wall of the baby's room.

"Y/N?" You heard him call out from behind the closed door.

"Yeah?"

"Help?"

And now you were concerned, opening the door of the room and Gerry greeted you there, you leaned down to pet him with one hand as you looked around the room. You weren't entirely sure if Tyler would be able to get it done today, as he was going to his mom's for lunch, but he looked to have the first coat completed.

"Please tell me you like it," he said, paint roller still in hand, a couple of smudges of paint on his shirt, his hat turned backwards.

"I love it," you said, taking in all in, absentmindedly running Gerry behind the ear still.

"Does it look smokey?" Tyler asked, and you laughed. He'd made fun of you because the colour was called Pale Smoke, which he thought seemed inappropriate for a baby's room but, really, it was the perfect pale, blue-grey. It was serene.

"So what's the problem?" You asked, because everything looked just great. Tyler said nothing, just pointed to Gerry, and you looked closer, seeing that the opposite side of his body was completely covered in paint.

"Yeahhh," Tyler said, "we had a small issue."

He turned, and you could see that his arm that had been facing away from you, and part of his pants were covered in paint, too.

"What happened?" You asked, ensuring that your feet were solidly in the hallway, just leaning your upper body in.

"I tried to shut the door but he kept barking so I let him in," Tyler said, "and it was fine, until he leaned against the wall."

You were a little speechless, because what did he expect to happen.

"Shit, Gerry, shit!" Tyler said suddenly, and you realized that his wagging tail was brushing against the open can of paint. When he heard his name, Gerry turned, stepping his paw right in the paint tray and then tripping as he tried to get out, sending more paint spraying up his legs. Thankfully, there was a drop cloth covering every single inch of the carpet. A drop cloth which was now being covered with pale smoke pawprints.

"It's not funny," Tyler said, staring at you when you burst into giggles, "can you help, please?"

"Umm.." you said, taking in the situation, "yeah, let me just go change real quick."

"No, you don't have to," Tyler said, "can you just turn the shower on?"

"Yeah," you said, hurrying to the bathroom and adjusting the water until it was lukewarm. Tyler came in a moment later carrying Gerry and trying to prevent the paint from going everywhere, more of it covering himself in the process. He set Gerry down in the shower and then went to close the bathroom door, and you grabbed the shower head, pointing it at the paint-covered areas of fur.

"You're silly," you said, to which he just wagged his tail, probably just loving the attention. From behind you, you could see Tyler set his hat down on the bathroom counter, and then peel his shirt and socks off gingerly, trying to keep the paint under control.

"Here," he said, gesturing for you to move out of the way. Once you started to, he immediately took off his pants, with no warning at all.

"Oh...umm...okay..."

"Chill, you've seen me naked before," he laughed, "I mean, you can see it anytime you want, you just gotta ask."

"Right," you said quickly, trying to focus on the innocent eyes of the cute, soaking wet dog in the shower, and Tyler stepped in, shutting the shower door behind him and grabbing your body wash, starting to soap up.

"Can you grab some towels he can use?" Tyler asked, "if you can take your eyes off me for a couple of seconds."

"Oh my god," you mumbled under your breath, going to the linen closet. When you came back with a stack of towels, Tyler opened the shower door a little so Gerry could wiggle out, and you set to work trying to dry him off as best as possible while he scooted all over the bathroom, shaking water everywhere.

"I got it," Tyler said a second after the water stopped, grabbing one of the towels and wrapping it around his waist. You took in his painting clothes on the vanity.

"There's some of your sweats in my dresser. Bottom drawer."

"Awe, you did my laundry?"

"No, they're some of the ones you let me borrow," you said, and he gave you a look, even though he very clearly said you could borrow his clothes. "Nothing fits."

He just laughed at that, and you told him you were going to go start dinner, to which he replied, "Good, I'm hungry."

You went downstairs, starting on the pizza dough, which you'd pulled out of the freezer this morning. Tyler still wasn't telling you what he wanted go eat, so you'd just decided on pizza, even though you'd had it a couple days ago, because you loved it as a late night snack. You were hoping to get out of him something he wanted you to make for him but, if you couldn't, you'd probably just go with some type of pasta. That usually went over well. You'd just finished rolling out the dough when your phone rang.

"Hey, Dani," you answered after you'd checked the ID.

"Hey babe," she responded, "I was just wondering what shampoo and conditioner you liked?"

"What?" You asked, going over to preheat the oven.

"Tyler said you needed help getting your hospital bag ready, so I looked up a list online, and I'm looking at travel sized shampoos and conditioners right now."

You froze a little, but you recovered quickly and told her.

"Great, I got them," she said, "he's gonna be there, right? At the birth?"

"Tyler? Hopefully not," you said, and Danielle said 'what?' at the exact same time Tyler said, "hey!" from behind you.

"Hopefully not because hopefully he's going to be in the playoffs," you said, and you felt Tyler flick you in the back of the head, Danielle giving a sound of understanding. You made plans to see her in a couple a days, and turned around slowly.

Only to see Tyler holding up your rather gigantic striped maternity panties.

"What're these?" He asked, smirking at you, "I mean, I knew you were a mom, but I didn't know you were a granny."

"They go over my belly while I'm pregnant, so they don't dig in."

"They're cute?" He said, his voice raised to indicate how doubtful he was.

"Give me those," you said, grabbing then from his hands, the sound of his laughter filling your kitchen. You scrunched them up in your fist, tucking them behind your back as you leaned against the counter, getting back to what you were going to say in the first place. "You told Danielle I needed help with my hospital bag?"

"Well, yeah," he shrugged, reaching around you to grab some of the grated cheese and popping it in his mouth.

"You didn't have to," you said, your eyes soft.

"Yeah, I did, " Tyler replied seriously, "I needed you to know people got your back."

He helped you finish the pizzas, even though you insisted that you didn't need any help, that he could just relax and keep you company. Once they were in the oven, he'd suggested you go get changed into your pajamas so you could watch "your show", and he'd taken to grabbing more towels for Gerry, who had followed you into your bedroom and stared at you as you changed.

"I got your spot," Tyler said when the two of you came back in the room, patting the towel he'd placed on the couch next to him and Gerry looked at you and then jumped up, plopping down almost immediately. You raised an eyebrow as you sat down and watched him cover Gerry with another towel, tucking it around his head like he was a child.

"I don't want him to get cold," he explained, and then whispered over the dog to you. "And he smells like wet dog."

You rubbed the backs of your fingers over Gerry's snout, still stained with water droplets, as Tyler started Grey's Anatomy, and the tummy smell of pizza started to waft from the oven.

You relaxed, thinking how you'd been so worried. Worried about things being too physical with Tyler. And yet, he had kind of stepped back from touching you the past few days, almost like he'd had the same resolution. He still made the same jokingly sexual comments, of course, but it seemed in jest rather than an invitation. You were nervous that you'd have to try to turn him down, or that you wouldn't be able to turn him down, various scenarios running through your mind, but you hadn't had to deal with that at all.

You'd been worried, too, needlessly, about having everything ready for when the baby got here, but he'd kind of taken care of all that too.

Wordlessly, you extended your hand towards where his was rested against Gerry's back over the towel, and you settled your pinky against his, both of your hands rising and falling with the dogs breath, and Tyler smiled a little towards you, leaving his hand there as he turned his attention back to the T.V.

You should have known better.

With him, you didn't have to worry at all.


	34. Chapter 34

You, apparently, were not allowed to do any of the furniture building other than reading the instructions and dictating to Tyler what to do.

As he said, you were the brains, he was the braun.

He groaned, laying on the rug that he'd rolled out on the floor, brushing through the various bolts that were laying out, searching for the right one. "Why are there so many pieces?'

"I guess because it converts into a toddler bed?" You guessed. You kind of hadn't realized just how complex the project was going to be.

"So, you're saying I'm going to have to fix this again for you when he's a toddler?" Tyler said, placing one bolt between his teeth and turning to fasten the two pieces of wood together.

"No, I can do it," you said. "I can help now, if you'd let me."

"You are helping me by telling me what to do, I need you to interpret the directions," he said, "besides, if you get down on the floor, you might never get back up again."

You ignored his last comment. "The directions are in English, y'know. They don't need to be interpreted."

"They're confusing," he said, "and you're smart with that kind of stuff."

"Okay, you need to add the piece to your left next," you said, bouncing slightly on the yoga ball you were sitting on, the directions spread open in your hands.

"This one?" Tyler asked, looking at you for approval and you nodded. He laid back out towards the pieces, looking at Gerry who was laying on the floor next to him, and laughed, "What the hell are you doing?"

You realized the dog was watching you, his head going up and down, keeping his gaze on you as you bounced up and down on the ball you were sitting on. "You're insane," Tyler said to Gerry, and then looked over his shoulder at you, "Why are you in that thing when you could be in your new chair?" He asked, nodding to the glider that was in the corner of the room. You were thinking maybe you'd put it in your room, eventually, but for now you were going to keep it in the nursery, to get the complete look. Also, it'd give you somewhere comfortable to sit when you were 9 months pregnant and probably refolding clothes for the tenth time in the middle of the night.

"Gerry," Tyler said in a harsh whisper when Gerry thought the invitation was intended for him, jumping up in the chair and settling in, looking rather comfortable. "Off."

Gerry lifted his head up at the sound of Tyler's voice, looking at him, Tyler snapping his fingers at him now, but then the dog looked past him to you, like he was seeing what you thought about this whole matter.

"It's fine, Tyler, I don't care," you said, "There's gonna be dog hair over everything anyways. And he's clean."

"Yeah, but I don't want him thinking he can jump up in there when you're sitting there with the baby."

"He won't if I'm there," you said, and Tyler looked rather doubtful. Sure, Gerry was always the one to jump up on you and in your lap, but he hadn't been doing that since you were pregnant. Plus. how often was he even over at your house, anyways?

Gerry had settled his head back down now, and Tyler sighed. "You should be sitting there. You're the one who's pregnant."

"I would have sat there if I wanted to," you said, still bouncing on the ball, "This feels good."

Now he turned, giving you a Cherise grin. "Oh, I bet it feels good." He even had the nerve to wink.

"Stop," you complained. "I meant on my back and hips."

"Uh huh," he said doubtfully, going back to what he was doing. You slowed your bouncing down, because did he actually have to make everything sexual, going back to reading him off the directions. After a few minutes, he groaned, rolling onto his stomach and resting his head in the carpet. "This is comfy," he said, running his hand over the texture of the rug, "Maybe the baby can just sleep here."

"You really don't have to do it if it's frustrating you," you started.

"Nah, I'm not frustrated, I'm just not really very handy," he said, "This is good, I need to learn this stuff. I'm just taking a break."

You smiled, setting the instructions down and leaning backwards a little, pushing on the top of your tummy.

"What're you doing?" Tyler asked.

"Trying to get him to move," you said, "he's hitting me in the ribs."

"He's hitting you in the ribs?" Tyler said in disbelief, making a face like he had never heard of something quite so awful or couldn't imagine it. "I'd tell him to stop, but apparently no one in this house listens to me." He looked over his shoulder at Gerry, who had his eyes mostly closed by now.

You laughed, shifting around to adjust yourself, running your hand over your belly.

"Can he hear?" Tyler asked.

"Hear? Yeah, he can hear."

"Shit," Tyler mumbled, and then blinked, "Oh shit."

"What?"

"I've been swearing around him," he said, "And saying inappropriate things."

You laughed, and you had to remember that you were sitting on an unstable surface to avoid tipping over. "He can hear, but he doesn't understand English."

Tyler grinning at you, crawling on the floor towards you, and then kneeled, settling his cheek against the round of your belly, his chin bumping against your thigh as he spoke. "Tyler Seguin is the best," he said in a quiet, monotone voice, and you could feel his lips moving even through your shirt. "Tyler Seguin is the best."

You laughed, trying to push his head away, "I just said he couldn't understand English."

"I know, I'm brainwashing him," he smiled, "You should listen to hockey or golf commentary all the time."

"I am not doing that."

"I mean, if you want to hold your child back like that, that's your choice, but.."

"I hate you."

"No, you love me," Tyler said in a teasing voice.

"I mean, I do, but sometimes I hate the things you do."

Tyler laughed loudly, and then pressed his face against your belly once more, looking up at you, "Your mom's pretty cool though, too."

Both of you jumped a little when you heard a bark, looking to see Gerry looking at you from his perch in the chair.

"Someone's jealous," Tyler said, backing away from you. "You better be a good big brother."

He went back to assembling the crib, stretched out on the floor. "I was going to say it's been really quiet with just him, but he's the one who makes all the noise anyways. I guess that's gonna change pretty soon though."

"I've still got three months," you said, full well knowing it'd probably feel incredibly long.

"Yeah, but the next time I'm back in Toronto, you could have a baby," he said.

"I don't think so," you said. Tyler had one of the last games of the season in Toronto, near the beginning of April, which was nearly two weeks before your due date.

"Yeah, but you never know," he said, "you can try to push him out early, then he can come watch me."

"I don't think so," you said. Nothing sounded more hellish to you than trying to take a newborn baby to a hockey game. At least you knew if you went when you were 9 months pregnant you could just eat all of the grilled cheese.

"Well, you can try," Tyler said, standing the back of the crib up, and then grabbing another piece, turning it left and then right. "What am I doing wrong here?"

"It's upside down," you said, "flip it."

"Thanks babe," Tyler said after he'd made the necessary correction, using the Allen key to bolt it in place. Since he seemed to be on a roll now, you got up, getting started putting the fitted sheet on the mattress.

"You want to come to lunch with me and my mom tomorrow before my flight?" Tyler asked, "I can pick you up at work."

"Uh..you want me to," you asked, before you'd even thought it through. "I don't want to interrupt your mother-son lunch." He'd literally been with you every minute you weren't at work and, when you were, he was at your house, usually working on the baby's room. You didn't think he'd even see any of his friends since he'd been home other than you, just spending time with mom and sisters, really.

"You're a mother and son," Tyler pointed out, looking up from his work, "and you're my two favourite women. Well, always in the top three, anyways."

You laughed at that last comment, "Sure, I'll come."

"Perfect," Tyler said, and you set the leaned the crib mattress up against the frame of the crib, seeing as how it actually resembled a crib now. After Tyler gave it several shakes like he thought it was going to fall apart, he put the mattress it, fitting it in perfectly. You barley had time to even admire it because, next thing you knew, he was picking Gerry up from the chair, his legs kicking in the air, settling him right down in the crib, where he stood, confused.

"Tyler," you laughed, "you you're worried about him jumping in the baby on the chair, and now you're putting him in the crib?"

"He can't get in there by himself," Tyler said, "he needs to test it, make sure it's safe for the baby."

Gerry was now looking at you through the slats of the crib, sticking his nose out.

"Maybe we should get one of these for you. It'd keep you out of trouble," Tyler said to Gerry, picking him back up out of and setting him on the floor where he shook, and then walked to the other side of the room, like he didn't want to be put into that cage thing again. "I think that's pretty good," Tyler said. You could tell he was really proud of himself, even though he was trying to keep his grin under control.

"It is," you confirmed, working on adding the pillows to the chair and draping a blanket over the side of the crib, wanting to see the room pulled together.

"You're sure you're going to be okay without him?" Tyler asked, and you looked back to see him leaning over, kissing Gerry now.

"Yes," you said. You were starting to have trouble keeping up with his endless amounts of energy, especially because it was the dead of winter, which meant if you wanted to walk him while it was still light out, you had to get up way too early.

"I don't want you to be lonely," Tyler said.

"I won't be lonely, I talk to you guys all the time."

"Well, he's gonna miss you," Tyler said, still crouching down next to Gerry.

"I'll see him, and all of you, in a few weeks."

"True," Tyler said, standing up now, as you adjusted the blanket just right, and he joined you in standing by the doorway. There were still a few last minute things you needed to do, like add pictures and some little decor pieces but, for all intents and purposes, it was done. "We could be on one of those house makeover shows on T.V."

You laughed at his use of 'house makeover' rather than 'home makeover ' or 'interior design'. But, you had to agree that it looked great. "I love it."

"I'm glad," he said, laying his arm across the top of your shoulders. You looked at the room for a moment longer and then spun in his arm, so you could give him a proper hug.

"Thank you," you said against him.

"You don't have to thank me," he said, even though he was hugging you back, one hand interwoven in your hair, pulling you to his chest.

You pulled back, your hands moving to his arms, looking up at him. "I know. But I want to. So thank you."

"You're welcome," he said softly, his hand rubbing up and down your back now. His eyes looked weird, glassy and focused on you. You were just standing there, your hands holding each other, trying to figure out his expression when you noticed his hands still on your back at the same moment his lips touched yours.

You felt your eyes start to fall shut, and then you blinked, shaking your head and backing away from him, his hands falling away from you.

"Umm.." you said, looking away from him, round the room as if that would somehow give you a clue of how to explain to him that you were trying to stop with the sex without it sounding inappropriate or offensive, or like he'd done something wrong.

"I'm sorry," Tyler said, taking his hat off and running his hands through his hair. "I didn't...I don't... I'm sorry."

"Umm...that's okay. Yeah, that's okay," you said, walking a little throughout the room while Tyler's feet seemed cemented to the floor.

"Good," he nodded.

And then you just stood there, starting at and then away from each other awkwardly, the room seeming too quiet and too small. Tyler was looking at you, his face expressionless like he was expecting you to be upset with him or tell him he'd crossed a line.

But you hadn't even set lines to be crossed.

Tyler was still watching you, silently, which was unusual for him, and you realized he was deferring to you, waiting for you to say something.

"Since we're done in here, you want to go relax on the couch with Gerry and watch T.V.?" You asked.

"Yeah," Tyler said, smiling a little now, "Let's go do that."

**

"How are you, honey?" Jackie asked, getting up from the table she was already sitting at on the restaurant to give you a hug.

"I'm great, Mom, thanks for asking," Tyler grinned, leaning around to kiss her on the side of the head, pulling out a chair for you at the same time.

"I'm fine," you said, sitting down, and Tyler rolled his eyes, sitting down next to you.

"Her back and hips hurt," he said, looking at the menu and then once over you quickly, "and her feet, I think?"

"I don't miss that," Jackie said. "Are you sleeping okay?"

"Yep," Tyler answered, taking a sip of water, "She snores."

You glared at him, because you were fairly certain you did not snore, but you couldn't be entirely sure, and Tyler just laughed.

"Okay, it might have been Gerry," he said, and started giggling even more.

You shook your head, but before you could even berate him, the waitress came over, taking your orders.

"Really, though, how are you feeling?" Jackie asked once the waitress had left, "Ty, shut up for a second and let her answer."

"I'm really fine," you said. "Kind of starting to get a bit uncomfortable, but I'm really just happy I'm not sick anymore."

"She was really sick, it sucked," Tyler said, settling his hand on your knee under the table and giving it a quick squeeze.

"Yeah, let's not talk about it," you said. You were trying your best not to remember it.

"How's the baby's room coming?" Jackie asked.

"It's so cute," you said, "I should have taken pictures to show you."

"Yeah, we finished the crib last night," Tyler said.

"Finished it? You built it?"

"Yep," Tyler answered proudly, and you rolled your eyes.

"He assembled it," you clarified.

"Well, that's always stressful," Jackie said.

"Stressful?" Tyler asked, scoffing at her a bit. "No it wasn't, what are you talking about?"

"Anytime I've tried to assemble furniture with anyone, it's always ended up in an argument."

"It really wasn't that hard. I just listened to everything she said," Tyler said, pointing his thumb towards you.

Jackie looked like she was about to say something, but was interrupted by the waitress setting something on the table in front of you. "I ordered a hummus plate for us all to share because I thought you might be hungry," she said, looking at you.

"Oooh, there's olives," you said, before you could stop yourself, and Tyler snickered next to you.

"Great idea, Mom," Tyler said, "This one gets really upset when she doesn't have food."

"Tyler!"

"Babe, you cried because I finished a bag of chips and you wanted it."

"Tyler, she's pregnant," Jackie said.

"Yeah, but there were two whole bags of chips that hadn't been opened," he laughed, "She was only upset because she apparently only wanted the broken pieces at the bottom. So I had to crush them."

Tyler started laughing again, and all you wanted to do was just kick him under the table.

"I was really emotional," you said.

"Yeah, and you're kind of getting like that again," Tyler said under his breath, backing away from you like you were going to hit him.

"You know it's only going to get worse after you have the baby," Jackie said.

"It's going to get worse?" Tyler said. "Oh god. I might have to leave as soon as the baby comes out of you."

"You're going to be there, at the birth?" Jackie asked.

"Well, yeah," Tyler replied easily, scooping up some hummus with a pita chip. "Mmm...this is good, but it's no where near as good as what you've been making me for dinner."

Tyler's mom gave him kind of a weird look, to which he replied. "Don't worry, Mom, I love your cooking, too."

It felt like the baby's feet both kicked straight into your ribs and you shifted slightly in the chair. "How early did you say you went into labour again?"

"Umm... I think 7 or 8 days."

"And how long were you in labour for?" You asked.

"With Tyler a long time, like 21 hours, I think," Jackie said, "the girls, not very long. I tore so much with Tyler, I think they just slid out."

"Jesus christ, Mom!" Tyler said so loudly that you were pretty sure that everyone in the restaurant was looking your way now, and he lowered his voice to a harsh whisper, "don't say that."

"Oh sorry," she said, her gaze snapping over to him. "I forgot you were here."

"No, I mean, well, obviously i don't want to hear that," he sputtered, looking mildly traumatized, and then started whispering again, clearly directed at his mother only, "don't tell her that. She has a baby in her and it has to come out."

"Tyler, I already know that can happen," you said.

"Yeah, but still, you shouldn't be thinking those things," he shot a brief glare towards his mother, and then focused back on you. "Are you nervous though? About the birth?"

""I mean, yeah," you said, "but it's kind of part of the process."

"You'll do great," Jackie said, "and it's so, so worth it."

She was practically beaming, and all you could think was just how worth it it would be and then your face scrunched up with emotion.

"Goddamnit it, Mom, you made her cry," Tyler said with a laugh, all which simultaneously handing you a napkin and picking up the whole appetizer platter and setting in very clearly in front of you.

"I'm crying because I'm happy not because I'm sad," you said, wiping at your eyes. You were barely even crying, honestly, just a little wetness to your eyes.

"Still," Tyler said, "I'm going to have to spend the next few weeks trying to remove everything from my house that might make you cry."

You shook your head, laughing at him.

"You're going to visit Tyler?" Jackie asked.

"She is," Tyler answered for you, yet again.

"Oh, that'll be nice, like a babymoon."

"What the hell is a babymoon?" Tyler asked.

"It's when parents," Jackie frowned, "or parent go one a trip before the baby gets here. To relax."

"Then yes like that," Tyler said, "but I am not calling it that. The dogs are gonna be so psyched to see you, I'm gonna have to make a countdown calendar to when they get to see you again. I might be a little psyched to see you again too, as long as you promise you won't cry too much."

"Well, that'll be really nice for you," Jackie said ignoring Tyler's last comment.

"Yeah, yeah it will," you smiled.

"Mmmmom," Tyler said in between bites, "can you help her with the carseat before April? I tried to look at it but I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

You looked at Tyler, because this was complete news to you. You'd known he'd taken the stroller and car seat out of the box for you, but you had no idea he'd even glanced at the instructions.

"Of course," Jackie said, "we'll have to set a date to go get pedicures again. Maybe when you get back from Dallas and really can't touch your feet anymore?"

"Awe," Tyler said, "that's no fair, I wanna come."

"You want to come get pedicures?" His mom asked in disbelief.

"I don't like it when people I love do things without me," he pouted, much like a child.

For the rest of the lunch, you talked mostly about the baby and your pregnancy, which seemed to be all anyone wanted to talk about anyways. You thought Tyler would be bored to death, especially as he wasn't really saying anything, but he wasn't complaining either, and looked quite content.

Once you were done with lunch, Tyler drove you back to work, where he insisted on walking you back to your desk, even though you could very well say goodbye in the parking lot. You realized, though, once you got back to your office and he shot you a devilish grin what he'd been planning all along, and you watched as he strode right to your desk, flipping both the picture of you with the dogs and the ultrasound photo you had on your desk outwards. "There," he said with satisfaction, and you laughed as his arms came to squeeze you in a hug.

"Oh my god," you said, and he laughed, loosening his grip.

"I'll see you in a few weeks, 'k?"

"Yeah," you replied. "Have a safe flight. Er, flights," you added, when you realized he'd be on multiple flights before you'd see him again.

He gave you kind of a funny look, but said, "Sure," stepping back away from you, putting his hands in his pockets and shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. "I'll tell the dogs you say hi."

You smiled, remembering how he'd greeted you. "Oh, I have something for you to give Marshall and Cash," you said, having already said goodbye to Gerry this morning.

"Oh?" Tyler asked, tilting his head to the side.

You stepped towards him, ruffling his hair very deliberately once and then twice.

He was trying to look annoyed but failed, and started laughing. "Alright, I will," he leaned forward again, hugging you but this time you kissed each other on the cheek. "See you later, mama."

"See you," you said, and he started walking away saying hello to the receptionist before he shot you one last smile you keeping your eye on him even as you walked over to the receptionist's desk to see if you had any memos in your inbox.

"God, he's hot," Caroline, the receptionist said pretty much as soon as Tyler was out of earshot. "You're so lucky to get to be friends with that. And he's nice."

"Tyler?" You asked, your head moving away from her in surprise. It wasn't that he was bad-looking, not at all, but 'hot' was not the first word that came to mind when you thought about his appearance. "He's kind of boyish, no?"

"Boyish? No, he's all man," she said, sounded appalled that you'd even think such a thing. "Hang on."

She was typing on her phone, and then passed it over to you when she'd found what she was looking for, and you leaning over the desk, looking at it. It was Tyler, obviously, but there were pictures of him, one for every year he'd been in the NHL.

And you realized something, in that moment, that he'd always been just Tyler somehow in your head, almost frozen at the the of 16 or 17, when he both looked at acted young. And you probably did, too, now that you though about it.

But you'd both grown a lot, separately and together. And, somehow, you'd just continued to grow more towards each other each and every year.

And, oh.

Oh, holy shit.


	35. Chapter 35

"You're what?!" Danielle asked incredibly loudly, leaning towards you.

"I think I'm in love with Tyler," you repeated, quieter this time, running your hand over your face. 

"What? I didn't think...I had no idea you felt that way about him."

"I didn't either," you confessed, sighing again. It was a lot, it was really a lot. You felt like you could barely breathe, but that could also be the the baby taking up every spare ounce of your abdomen. You also felt like you could cry, but that could be the pregnancy as well. "I don't know what to do," you said, tears falling from your eyes now. She sat down beside you on the couch, resting her hand on your knee and turning in towards you.

"You could tell him," she said, but you found yourself shaking your head, the thought seeming way too overwhelming. "Why not?"

"Because I'm having a baby," you said, smoothing your hand over your belly, "And it's his baby. Technically it's his baby." You never would have agreed to this if you'd known these feelings might come up. Well, that's not, maybe that's not true. But there would definately have been different things and feelings and emotions you would have thought through first.

But you couldn't even imagine feeling this way about Tyler. And now the whole situation might get awkward, or complicated, or all tangled up and broken. It felt like all too much, and yet not enough.

"So? That doesn't matter."

"But it does," you said, your hand moving over the child that was inside you, who never seemed to stop moving. "His genetic material is literally living and growing inside me. What if this is some weird biological thing, and I have the baby, and the feelings just go away?"

"I don't think it works like that," she said, with a bit of a laugh, and you looked at her. "You loved him before, right? You just didn't realize you were in love-love."

"Yeah, but.." you started, but then you just sighed. You were having a baby. And you weren't planning to even contemplate dating or having a love life for years. Years. And not with the man was biologically related to your child. What would he even think? Would he think this was just about the fact that you were kind of having his baby? Or would he think it was real? And, like, how would he even feel about you or the entire situation? It would be a lot, not only for you, but for him. And, like, you didn't even know. "What if he doesn't feel the same way about me?"

"Well, you don't know unless you say something."

"I know, but -," you started and then you sighed.

"He texts me asking about you all the time, you know," she said, "He really cares about 9you."

"I know he cares about me," you said, "And I know he loves me. But I don't know if he love-loves me."

"Yeah, but he never asks me about you," she said, "unless it's what to get you for your birthday or if you're sick or something. This is new."

"But I'm pregnant," you reminded her. "And he's been more concerned about making sure I'm okay since I've been pregnant. And when I was trying to get pregnant."

Danielle gave you another interesting look. " Well, you just spent five days with him. Was he touching you more than usual?"

"No, he touched me less," you said, thinking back. There had been less hugs, less touches with his arm as he passed by you. And, when you were on the couch or in bed together, Gerry had practically been wedged between the two of you, so it wasn't like he had his arm slung around you while you were sleeping, and your feet were usually perched on Gerry rather than on Tyler's lap when you were on the couch. "We didn't even have sex this time or anything."

Danielle froze next to you. "What do you mean you didn't have sex this time?"

When you didn't respond, she asked, "You had sex at Christmas?"

"And at Thanksgiving," you answered quietly, peering through your fingers.

"And you still don't think there's anything going on between the two of you?" Danielle asked, her voice dripping with disbelief.

"You're the one who told me to ask him for sex!" You said.

"Did you though?"

"No!"

"Then what happened?"

"I don't know, he just started touching me and...things progressed."

"Hmm.." she said, and you looked over at her.

"What?" She looked like she was deep in thought, trying to figure the whole thing out.

"And he didn't try to touch you this time?"

"No," you said, "I mean, he kissed me but.."

"He kissed you?!" Danielle declared loudly, standing up, and you were so used to having a dog with you that you half expected to see a puppy face peak up from the pillows on your couch at the excited noise.

"Yeah, but like nothing happened."

"What do you mean nothing happened? He kissed you, that's something!"

"We had sex for nearly three months, it's not like that's the first time we've kissed," you said.

"Yeah, but you said nothing happened so, he just kissed you?"

"Well, something probably would have happened if I didn't back away."

"Why did you back away if you're in love with him?"

"Because I didn't know then!"

She sat back down on the couch next to you now. "When did you realize?"

"This afternoon. After he dropped me off at work," you said. "Maybe it's just hormones."

And in your heart, you were thinking that of course it's hormones, because you're in love, but are you really in love if you're not entirely sure if the person you're in love with is in love with you back?

And there was a part, deeper down, that worried you'd somehow fallen in love with him because you were having sex with him.

You couldn't even believe that yourself.

Not when you'd just spent a whole week together, void of any intimate touching and, reall, your favourite part had just been watching T.V. with him at the end of the night.

Not finishing the baby's room.

Not laughing at the silly things he was doing at the baby store.

Not really doing much of anything.

You loved just being with him.

"How did he react? When you backed away?"

"He just said he was sorry," you said, recounting the not hurt, but the quiet expression on his face. Which was so unusual to you, because he was the one who filled the silence. He was always the one to make you feel more comfortable, to make fun of himself.

"Wait," Danielle said, "where were you when he kissed you? Like, what were you doing?"

"We just finished the baby room, I was thanking him ," you said, and then watched as her eyes widened and she gasped a little. "What now?"

"Y/N, I've seen Tyler do some...interesting things, but I really don't think he'd try to initiate sex with you in the baby's room unless you were putting out signs. He'd at least wait until you were in the hallway."

Had you been putting out signs? No, you were hugging him. And you'd hugged a zillion times without it getting sexual.

You let out a little sound of frustration and then, the next thing you knew, your phone was ringing, and you blinked looking towards it. "That's probably Tyler, calling me to tell me he got home safe."

You both stared at each other, the ringing filling the room, making no move to answer it, until it stopped.

"He's calling you to tell you he's home now?" She asked, her eyes bright and excited.

"Yes, he's always done that," you said. It was just common courtesy, really. Something friends did. "If I'm staying with him, I always let him know when I'm home."

"Yeah, but a call or a text?"

"Well, usually a text but..." Now that you thought about it, he'd been calling you a lot lately. Like practically every night, like it was now ingrained as part of his routine. It wasn't so much the casual catching up you usually did via Facetime. This was more like...well, it was more like he was calling to check in with you.

But you also lived alone and you were pregnant.

And you'd had a dog of his for two months.

But when you watched the dogs before, it wasn't like he usually called to check it on them, he just wanted videos and pictures of cute things they'd done.

Your phone started ringing again, and you put your forearms on your thighs, resting your head in your hands, staring at your phone on the coffee table, clearly making out Tyler's name.

"Aren't you going to talk to him?" Danielle asked.

"And say what?" You asked.

"Oh, I don't know, I'm glad you got home alright and are still alive because I love you?"

"I'm not telling him I love him over the phone," you said, and finally the phone stopped ringing. "I don't know if I can even say anything at all, I have no idea what to do. This wasn't part of the plan."

You knew you were rambling, but you felt overwhelmed, hot with emotion and the sudden realization you'd had. You needed time to sit with it. To come up with a new plan.

Danielle looked like she was going to say something, but she was broken off by her phone ringing now.

Of course.

"Hello," she answered, looking very pointedly at you, and your eyes were already getting moist. This was the reason why people recommended getting married before getting pregnant, you realized. Pregnant women shouldn't be subject to these types of emotions. "Yeah, yeah, she's here with me."

You were waving your hands crazily in front of your neck, trying to tell her you were unavailable.

"I'm good. How are you?" Danielle said, listening to his response. "Um..yeah, she's just in the bathroom actually. No, no she's fine."

You could hear Tyler murmuring through the phone, but you couldn't make out what he was saying.

"Can you talk to her?" Danielle repeated his words, and your eyes widened, moisture collecting around the edges, but she then lowered her voice to a whisper. "You see, she's kind of a little emotional right now. I'll tell her you're home though."

You relaxed back into the couch now, feeling thankful you had dodged that proverbial bullet, until Danielle spoke again.

"You want to talk to her," she said, looking at you with wild eyes like she didn't know how to hold him off any longer. You sighed, reaching your hand out for the phone.

"Hi."

"Hey," Tyler's voice came into your ear . "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," you said, "Just..there was a commercial on T.V.? And I thought it was sad? I'm fine."

"You sure?" He asked, and his voice sounded so warm and gentle, that you just wanted to wrap it all around you.

"Yeah," you said, your voice sounding a little bit shaky, because how you were getting emotional again.

"Awe," he said, "you want to tell me about the commercial?"

"No," you said with a bit of a laugh.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I had to drag Gerry out of your house. So now he's pissed at me, obviously, and Marshall and Cash won't even be in the same room with me," he said, making a noise like he was flopping back onto the couch or in bed, "Gerry apparently has to be in the room with me so he can glare at me."

You laughed, just thinking about the look on his face, judging by how annoyed his voice sounded. "What did you do to Marshall and Cash?"

"Left," he said, "If I'm gone for more than two, three days, they ignore me to show me how mad they are. Usually they come around with food, though, or they get lonely at night and come cuddle me."

You laughed lightly, the lightness spreading throughout your body.

"You wanna talk to me for a bit or are you watching something with Dani?" He asked.

"We're watching something," you answered, even looking at the black screen of the T.V. But you felt like if you didn't end the conversation now, you could be on the phone with him for the rest of this night.

"Well, I hope you feel better, babes," he said, and then his voice got high and playful, like he was imitating some character. "I love you."

"I love you too," you answered, ignoring Danielle as she waved her hands around like you were a fool. You hung up, flopping back down on the couch yourself now. "Don't," you warned.

"I wasn't going to say anything," she said, grinning like she very much was.

You ran your hands over your eyes, and then down to your belly, settling them there. "I can't," you said, "I have so much going on."

There was so much you could gain.

There was so much you could lose.

Your whole life was going to be changing, and you couldn't imagine what new feelings and emotions that'd bring up, or what your life might look like.

You couldn't just think for yourself anymore.

"I think I have to wait, until after I had the baby," you said.

But, even then, you couldn't begin to imagine what you'd say or how your feelings might change.

**

"I have a question," Tyler said on the phone to you. It was the midafternoon, and you were supposed to leave for Dallas tomorrow evening. Danielle was at your house, and you had plans to go to the movies, and then grab some dinner, mostly because you had no food in your house, all cleared out for your trip.

Luckily, luckily things had not gotten weird between you and Tyler. A part of you had been worried about going to visit him, with these uncovered feelings you had.

But, the feelings had been there all along. And you'd been fine.

Plus, you really just needed time to relax.

And you really wanted to see the pups.

But now you were almost trying to decipher his every behaviour, looking for clues that he might be into you in the same way.

A part of you almost thought he'd say or do something on Valentine's Day, even though it was a day that always kind of gave you a weird, left out feeling, even when you were in a relationship. He did wish you a Happy Valentine's Day, but that was normal, but then you were reading into his emoji use.

Like you said, you really needed to relax.

"I may have an answer," you responded.

"I was just wondering if I should get anything for you," he said, "Like maybe a pound of cheese or something?"

"No," you laughed, "I'm good eating pretty much anything now."

"So you're not craving anything?" He asked.

"Craving? No, not really."

"She really likes vanilla frozen yogurt and gummy bears!" Danielle yelled.

"Gummy bears? Okay then," Tyler laughed, and then yelled back a thanks to Danielle, and she smiled. "You all ready to go then?"

"No, I was just going to throw some stuff in a bag tomorrow then," you said. You didn't really need much when you went to visit him, just a bathing suit and a few changes of clothes, really. He always had shampoo you could use, a phone charger you could borrow. And it was only Tyler, it was no big deal.

Only.

Only, maybe it was.

"No, you're right, actually," you said, "I gotta go pack."

You hung up the phone quickly, and then hurried into your bedroom, the open suitcase on the floor and your purse next to it, ready to go. So far, all you had was sunglasses, the balm for your belly, a copy of 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' and a couple of magazines, just in case you felt like lighter reading material.

You went to dig through your drawers, and then you quickly realized you were 7 ½ months pregnant and it was February. You had no options that would fit for the warm weather.

Shit.

"We can't go to the movies," you said, moving past Danielle and going into the bathroom, where you tried to find mascara, and BB cream, and blush and bronzer, throwing in powder, too, because you'd probably be sweating like crazy.

"What is wrong?" She asked, "You've got tons of time to pack. Your flight isn't until the evening. You've got all day tomorrow. I'll help you before I drive you to the airport. "

"I don't have anything to wear," you said, surprised by how panicked your voice sounded. "We have to go shopping."

And this was why, now, you were looking through every single square inch of every maternity store within half an hour of your house, trying to find summer-suitable clothing. In winter. In Toronto.

It was difficult.

Basically, you were grabbing any dress that didn't look like its sole purpose was warmth, and any top that had a sleeve above the elbow or higher.

"You're doing all this shopping for a week?" Danielle smirked at you, even though she was going through the racks with you, holding up viable options.

"No, it's not just for a week," you said.

"When are you going to wear summer maternity wear again when you're giving birth in April?" She grinned at you. You were beginning to wonder if she had been spending too much time with your sister, with how cocky and triumphant she was being.

"I can wear it after I have the baby," you said. "When it's summer." Even though your trip was the sole cause of this shopping trip, you were also keeping in mind that you'd need clothes for the warmer weather that would still work on your changing body.

You decided on a grey striped tank Jersey maxi dress, a light blue off-the-shoulder dress than was bohemian inspired and shorter, and a pink midi dress which had a ruffle over the bust and apparently was nursing-friendly. You grabbed a couple of more simpler tank tops as well. You couldn't find any shorts, but you could wear them with a pair of jeans if you were somewhere air conditioned. Unfortunately, you could not find a swim suit, as the options they had looked way too matronly, and you couldn't really justify buying a whole new bathing suit just for a few days, so you'd have to make do with the two pieces you had at home.

You thought you were ready to make your purchases, until you passed by the table of underwear and slowed down, instantly remembering when he pulled out your over the belly maternity panties and made fun of them . You were looking at the under the belly options, when Danielle sidled up next to you. "You need lingerie to go see Tyler now?" She asked, "and you still think your feelings for him 'might go away'?"

"It's not lingerie," you said in a harsh whisper, "and he made fun of my underwear last time."

"He made fun of your underwear while he was getting in your pants?"

"No, no," you frowned. Now that you thought about it, you had been wearing your giant maternity jeans one time and he'd just taken them off like they were any old parts, albeit a bit more gently around your belly. "He found them. He was getting his sweatpants out of my dresser. That he loaned me while I'm pregnant." You were quick to clarify, because she looked more and more skeptical with each word that she spoke.

You picked up a few pairs, just simple, cute ones with polka dots and floral patterns, a little lace around the top. They weren't overtly sexy by any means. Hell, they probably couldn't even be seen underneath your huge belly, but you didn't want what you were wearing to be completely un-sexy, or draw even more attention to just how pregnant you were.

You didn't even think anything was going to happen, not with how you had turned him down, the fact that you really, really doubted you would even dare trying something with him. Oh, and did you even forget the fact that you were hugely pregnant, now? It wasn't like before, when you were a cute five months pregnant.

But, there was a chance he might walk in on you changing, or catch a peak if your dress blew up, or saw them in your suitcase. And...

Well, it was always good to be prepared.

After you'd gone for dinner, you went back to your house, frozen yogurt and gummy bears in the freezer for later, sitting on your bed while Danielle attempted to pack your suitcase, saving room for you to shove your pregnancy pillow in on top, because it was very important.

Luckily, you didn't really need much: the few dresses, a couple top, your jeans, and some pyjamas, and your bathing suit. You had your cosmetics bag with some simple makeup and your face wash, and you had just picked up your phone, planning to text Tyler to ask if he had sunscreen, or if you should grab some at the airport, when you saw he had already text you.

Tyler: We can't wait to see you ❤

You sighed, flopping down sideways in your bed, staring at the heart emoji. And his words.

And you knew you were in trouble.


	36. Chapter 36

You almost felt nervous, waiting outside the airport for Tyler to come pick you up, standing there with your suitcase next to you, looking at your phone only for something to do. Which was funny, because it was only Tyler.

But everything felt different now, all of a sudden.

And now you were waiting here, in the dark of the evening, the lights all around you, listening to other people greet their loved ones.

You were eyeing the bench, thinking maybe you should sit down again, and get off your feet, when you felt a tap on your shoulder and instinctively turned to face the direction of the sensation, only to be wrapped in a big hug. He felt warm around you, and he smelled clean, like he'd just taken a shower, and you let him hold you, hands on your upper back, and your chin rested on his shoulder.

"Was your flight okay?" he asked, as he started to pull away.

"Yeah, it was fine," you said, watching as he looked you over, which would seem a little uncomfortable had his eyes not gone right for your belly.

"Did he behave himself?" Tyler asked, settling just a hand on your belly, and then pressing a kiss on your forehead. So, the affection was back.

"Yes," you laughed, rubbing your hand over your belly, and your fingers just brushed against his, and then you were looking up at him, and everything stopped for just a moment and then sped up again.

Tyler cleared his throat, his hand sliding away from you, "Uhm, let me grab your bag for you," he said, reaching around you for your suitcase, and then pulling your purse from your shoulder, as if you couldn't carry it yourself. You were about to protest when you heard an 'excuse me' from behind you, and both of you turned to see a brunette woman who looked to be in her early to mid 20's.

"Are you Tyler Seguin?"

Tyler looked at you, as if he needed to check with you who he was, and then back to her. "Yep, hi."

"Hi," she smiled now, "Would you mind taking a picture with me? If that's alright?"

"Yeah, sure," Tyler said, and now you noticed the phone on her hand as they got closer to each other, Tyler going to put his arm around

her.

"Did you want me to take it for you?" You offered.

"That'd be great," she said, opening up the camera app for you.

You were trying to get them in frame, only to realize that Tyler had your purse tucked in his elbow still, and you weren't entirely sure if this girl wanted his entire arm out of the shot. You tried not to laugh as you festered to him, and he tucked it behind his back.

"Thanks, babe," he said before smiling, and then she did the same, and you took a couple of pictures before you handed it back to her to take a look.

"Thank you," she said, smiling happily like it was the best day in her life.

"Yeah, no problem," Tyler said, grabbing your suitcase again as she left.

"I can take my purse," you said. The suitcase was fine too, it was on wheels for God's sake.

"Nope," Tyler said, securing your bag in his hand,nodding towards the parking lot, "this way."

You swore you heard a snicker, before you heard the rolling wheel of your suitcase behind you. "Oh, you waddle when you walk now," he said.

"Shut up," you said, looking over at him, and he laughed at your reaction.

"You're so cute when you're angry," he said, unlocking the car with one hand, and then throwing your suitcase into the trunk. You got into the passenger seat and he quickly followed suit, handing you over your purse.

"Can you fit alright?" He asked, as he went to buckle up his seatbelt.

"Tyler!"

"I meant because I had the seat pushed forward for the dogs, not because you're huge," he said, sticking his tongue out slightly.

"Thanks," you said sarcastically, trying to buckle up your own seatbelt, but it was rather difficult to buckle it.

"Here," Tyler said, taking the buckle from you and pulling it over you, securing it. "It's kind of tricky."

"Is it?" you asked, completely doubtful, because everything was so sleek.

"No, I was just being nice" Tyler laughed, and then glanced at you, pushing a button on his door, and then the next thing you knew you were letting out a little scream, trying to grab onto the door handle as your seat started to move. He looked over at you, eyebrow raised, biting back a smile on his lips. "You gonna be alright?"

"You could have warned me, Geez," you said, and he just gave you a funny look.

"I'm going to start driving now," he said, very clearly and slowly. "Prepare yourself."

"You're such a jerk," you laughed.

"Yeah, but you love me," he said, the corners of his mouth curving up even as he kept his eyes on the road.

"I do," you confirmed, but he had no idea just how much. You needed to distract yourself, so you pulled out your phone, typing away.

"Tired of me already?" Tyler asked.

"No, I promised my mom, and Danielle, and my sister I'd text them to let them know I was here," you said, "I didn't want to forget."

"Mm..my mom wanted me to text her when you got here, too. Can you text her, too? Please?"

"Sure," you said, doing so and then slipping your phone back in your purse, shifting in your seat, trying to find a comfortable position for your back.

"You can drive my other car while you're here," Tyler said, "you'll fit better."

"Can you stop saying how big I am?" You laughed. Literally no one you knew had commented, but he'd already pointed it out three times, and you hadn't even been there half an hour yet.

"But you are," he said, his hand moving over to pat your belly. "You're supposed to be, it's healthy."

"Keep both hands on the steering wheel," you said, before you could stop yourself.

"Yes, Mom," Tyler rolled his eyes, putting his hands to 10 and 2 and adjusting his posture, and you were grimaced, even as he relaxed again, but kept both hands on the wheel.

"Don't called me that."

"Mom?" He asked, and you shook your head, "You don't like Mom? But you're gonna be a Mom..."

"Yeah, but I don't like you calling me 'Mom'."

"Why?" He asked, and you just shrugged, "So you've been letting me call you 'mama' for months and hated it the whole time?"

"No, I like it when you call me 'mama', just not 'mom'".

"Why?" Tyler laughed under his breath, clearly thinking you were weird.

"I dunno, I guess because you call your own mom 'Mom'?"

"So what am I supposed to say if I'm talking to your kid? I can't be like, "Go see Y/N", he'll get confused."

"You can say 'Your mom'" you said.

"Your mom," Tyler said under his breath, then looked briefly over his shoulder as he changed lanes. "I was going to bring the dogs to come get you, but the last time I did that, it didn't go well. They're gonna lose their shit when they see you."

You smiled, resting your head in your hand and leaning against the car door, watching the lights of the cars drive by on the other side of the highway.

"You tired?"

"A little," you said, biting back a yawn.

"We can just go home and watch T.V. and eat snacks," Tyler said, "I have practice in the morning, but I'll feed the dogs before I go so you can sleep in. And then, in the afternoon, they've planned a date for you."

"What? The dogs planned a date for me?"

"Yeah, they've had the idea for a couple of weeks now, so you better not stand them up. You'll break their hearts."

You laughed under your breath, as Tyler pulled into the neighbourhood that was familiar to you now, having been there so many times before. You shifted, running your hand over your belly, ready to get out of a seated position and lay down properly.

"Yeah, so I guess I need to get a car seat for this car," he said.

"What? Why?"

"So the baby has somewhere to go when you guys come to visit me next year," he said obviously, "I don't think the car seat you bought will fit."

You barely had time to consider this because, then, you were pulling into his driveway, and getting out the car, Tyler grabbing your suitcase for you, putting his finger to his lips to motion for you to be quiet as he unlocked the door, and you stepped inside.

"Where are they?" you mouthed, and Tyler shrugged and then started walking throughout the house, motioning for you follow, and then he pointed up towards the bedroom, and you followed him up the stairs.

Gerry walked casually up to Tyler, a toy in his mouth, and then turned his head towards you, doing a double take, and dropping the toy from his mouth, just staring at you.

"Go say hi, dude," Tyler laughed, tapping him on the back, and then Gerry seemed to realize you were really there, taking off in a run towards you and then jumping up onto your legs, his tail wagging and he whimpered excitedly, continuing to jump even as you tried to pet him. Then, just as suddenly, he launched himself off you, running back into the bedroom, where you could hear him running in circles and barking.

Tyler started laughing again and then held up his hand towards you, "Stay there." You frowned in confusion until both Cash and Marshall slinked up to Tyler, like they were just trying to get away from Gerry.

"Hi guys," you said, and their eyes lit up, and then you were surrounded by fur and wet noses and wagging tails. "I missed you guys," you cooed, petting them, and then Gerry came running back, trying to push between them, and then you had all three dogs vying for your attention.

"Are you so excited?" Tyler asked, petting them on the back, as it was the only part he could really reach, "Is your Mom here?"

It was hard to hear him over the sound of tails wagging and panting, and this weird excited cry thing Gerry was doing, but you couldn't miss that. "Did you just call me their mom?" you asked, looking up at Tyler but still petting the dogs. You thought, for sure, when you'd heard him say that after your surgery, you were losing your mind.

"Well, yeah," Tyler said, taking his hat off his head only to run a hand through his hair, "they listen to you better than they listen to me. They probably love you more than they love me."

"They do not love me more than you!" You said, even though they were all still crowded around you.

"I don't blame them, I would, too," he said quietly, and then cleared his throat. "Anyways, you need something to eat, or..?"

"Nope," you said. You hadn't noticed Tyler had brought your suitcase up with him, until he started unzipping it. "What are you doing?"

"Figured you brought this," he said, pulling your pregnancy pillow out and then tossing it onto his bed, taking your suitcase into his closet.

"You want me to sleep in your bed?" You asked.

"Yeah."

"Where are you gonna sleep?"

"In my bed," he answered, like you were weird for even asking. You always slept in the guest room, though. "We've slept in the same bed before."

"Yeah, when you didn't have practice or a game the next day."

"So?"

"So, I have to get up like four times a night to pee now, and I'm tossing and turning a bunch."

"I don't care," Tyler said, and you gave him a doubtful look, "I'm used to sleeping with three big dogs who don't give a shit whether they wake me up or not. And it's just easier if you sleep in here, then we can hang out until we fall asleep."

"Okay," you said, sitting down on the foot of the bed and then lifting your legs up, lounging because your body was tired, and the next thing you knew, all of the dogs where jumping onto the bed as well.

"I set out some stuff for you in the bathroom. If you want to take a bath or whatever." Tyler said, nodding towards the counter, and your eyes lit up a little when you saw the very distinctive Lush bag sitting out.

"You got me bath bombs?"

"Oh, no, those are mine."

"Oh."

"Of course they're for you, you dork," Tyler laughed, "You want to take a bath now, or you just want to cuddle?"

"Cuddle," you answered, your hands gliding over the dogs that were surrounding you.

"I'm gonna go get some snacks in case you get hungry," Tyler said, leaving before you could stop him, "leave some room for me."

You slid your body up the bed so you were laying more properly now, patting the free section by your side. "Cash," you invited, and he walked over to wear you patted, laying down and you started petting him, watching to give him a little extra attention, since both his brothers had gotten to stay with you. Gerry tried to climb over you, but you held him back, patting the area next to your legs. He didn't look very happy but he laid down, resting his head on your leg, Marshall stretched out along your back. "Good boys," you said softly, letting your eyes relax as you continued to pet Cash, settling your hand on his belly.

You hadn't heard Tyler come back until you heard a soft laugh, and looked up to see him at the foot of the bed, his phone held out like he'd just taken a picture.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing," he said, even though the smile on his face gave him away.

"Tyler," you said firmly, and he laughed, "give me your phone."

He handed it over, still giggling, and then sat on the only spot of bed still open. You sighed when you saw he had Instagram open and that he had a story posted, so you clicked on that, rolling your eyes at the picture from the windshield of his car, with a 7:23AM time snap. And then the next one appeared, posted less than a minute ago.

It was a picture, focused in on you curled up around Cash, with text that said "Eats too much" and then two rough arrows drawn, on pointing to Cash and then the other right to your pregnant belly like it wasn't already obvious.

"Tyler!" You said "I am pregnant and in your bed," It was completely obvious it was his bedroom. And already over 300 people had seen it.

"Yeah, I know."

"So people are going to think you got me pregnant," you said in a harsh whisper.

"Well, I did," Tyler said, and then laughed at your reaction. "I don't care. But you can take it down if you want."

It was over 800 people now.

"That'll just make it worse," you said, and he looked at you questioning, clearly not understanding the ramifications of this.

"Relax, it's just a cute photo," he said, flipping over onto his back. You barely had time to deal with the thoughts in your mind as you felt the baby wiggle around inside of you, and then Cash's head popped up, his eyes wide, and he started sniffing your belly where his body had been pressed against it, and you started laughing at his reaction.

"Did the baby just kick?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah."

"Did you feel that, bud?" Tyler laughed, leaning over, one hand brushing your belly as he talked to Cash, "Is that your new friend in there?"

**

The problem was, Tyler refused to tell you where he was taking you. And he had a whole backpack ready to go, along with the dog's leashes in hand.

"Are you sure this is okay?" You asked, gesturing down at the blue dress you had on. It was surprising warm, like a nice spring day, and with the extra blood you your body, you were thankful you'd brought dresses.

"Yeah, if you're comfy."

"Okay, but I'm in sandals and I'm almost 8 months pregnant, Tyler," you said, "I don't think I can do a hike like this."

"We're not going on a hike," he laughed, slipping his sunglasses on, "you ready?"

You nodded, going to take a step forward but then you froze, taking a deep breath.

"What's wrong?" Tyler asked.

"Nothing."

"You put your hand on your belly, what's wrong?"

"I'm just having Braxton hicks."

"Braxton who? What's that?"

"It's false labour."

"You're going into labour?" Tyler yelled, the leashes dropping from his hand, and all three of the dogs jumped.

"No, no, no, false labour, key word being false."

"What does that mean?" He said.

"It's just, like, your uterus contracts to get ready for when you do go into labour, it's normal," you said, "We can go now."

He looked doubtful, but got you and the dogs all in the car. He kept glancing at you, which is why he noticed about 10 minutes later when you started breathing more deeply.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked.

"Yes, it's been happening for a couple of weeks," you said, "I just got checked at the doctor before I left."

"Should we go home so you can rest though?"

You shook your head, "It doesn't hurt, it just feels super tight for a second," you said, "it goes away. I want to know where we're going." You looked at the dogs who were sitting on the backseat, looking out the windows like they knew where they were headed. "Have I been here before?"

"Umm.." Tyler ran his hand over his face, "I think once, when you came down here that summer after I bought the house. But it was at night."

You were trying to figure it out, especially why he needed to bring a bag with him,

"It's not really that exciting," he warned.

"Well, I wasn't expecting you to plan any activities."

"Well, you should experience Dallas," he said, "you know, take in a Stars game or two while you're here."

You laughed, rolling your eyes and looking out the window, as you rolled up towards a park. "I've been here?"

"Yeah, we went to some outdoor concert thing, remember?" He asked, and you nodded. Before you could even finish unbuckling your seatbelt, Tyler was over on your side of the car, opening the door and then givingyou his hand like you needed help getting out of the car. He then let the dogs out and put them on their leashes, grabbing his backpack and tossing it over his shoulder.

You still didn't know why he had a damn backpack.

"There's a dog park back here," Tyler said, leading the way, reaching for your hand and tangling his fingers with yours like you'd get lost, holding all three leashes in his other hand, and you could hear stuff moving around in the backpack as he walked.

"This is a really nice park," you said, taking it all in. It was huge, and the dogs walked in front of Tyler, sniffing in the green grass with their tails wagging.

"Yeah, they've got stuff for kids, and they do yoga classes, and there's outdoor checkers and chess for nerds, " he said, "the dog park has fountains, too, for the dogs to run through."

When you got to the dog park, there were already several dogs running around, and Tyler let his dogs off their leashes so they could join in. "Can you watch them for a sec?" He asked, shifting the backpack, "I need to go do something."

"Do what?"

"It's a surprise," he said, grinning slyly at you, "just don't look behind you."

You laughed, but went to go sit down on the bench in front of you, the dogs running off the play and then circling back around you, although Marshall seemed fairly content just to get head rubs.

After awhile, you felt a head leaning over your shoulder from behind the bench, and then he whistled for the dogs, hooking them back onto their leashes and then he motioned for you to come with him, and you kind of felt your heart skip a beat and you almost gasped when you took in what he'd been working on.

Like, why? Why was he doing this to you?

"It's a picnic?" You asked.

"Yeah, I know it's kinda lame but.." he said, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, looking like he hadn't done anything at all.

Like he hadn't stretched a blanket out across the grass, a couple of cushions tossed across it.

Like he hadn't set out slices of baguette bread and crackers, little containers of hummus and tapenade, a plate of what looked like different fancy and non-fancy cheeses, olives, and meats like salamis and sliced turkey, a container of bright red strawberries.

Like his backpack tossed off to the side, he was acting completely casual and non plused.

"It is not lame," you said, going closer and then he took your hand, helping you sit down on the cushion and then walked to sit next to you, his legs sticking off the blanket.

He handed you a cup of lemonade and then took one for himself, looking off into the park. "I thought you'd like to hang out here with the dogs for a bit. Get out of the house," he said, popping a strawberry in his mouth.

"I would," you smiled.

And so you ate, the dogs walking around you or laying beside you, occasionally bringing a stick over to chew or play tug of war with, or drink the water Tyler had brought for them. They had their leashes dragging after them as they were apparently supposed to be leashed in this section of the park, but no one seemed to mind.

It was a really nice afternoon.

Once the sun felt like it was going to start to set at any moment, Tyler leaned over towards you. "Do you want ice cream?"

"Sure?" You said. You kind of always wanted ice cream.

"Watch them, I'll go get it," he said, "Vanilla with gummy bears, right?"

"No," you said, and when he raised an eyebrow you explained, "I can have that tonight at home and I like the gummy bears to be frozen."

"You like the gummy bears to be frozen? Okay," he said, clearly judging you, "what kind do you want then?"

"Surprise me?" You asked, looking up at him and smiling.

He nodded, and you kept your eyes on the dogs, calling Gerry back when he tried to follow Tyler. The dogs were all well behaved for quite awhile until Gerry took off running again and you tried to stand up, squinting into the sun until you saw Tyler coming back towards you, a tray in one hand, and you relaxed back down.

I didn't, however, see the toddler in the path between Gerry and Tyler, until he moved out of the glare of the sun. You opened your mouth to call for Gerry at the same time as Tyler swooped forward, grabbing the toddler's arm, and and steadying as Gerry bumped against the little one's legs, knocking him off balanced. Your heart slowed down, even as the kid started to cry, and then it sped up as Tyler picked him up, and then handed him off to a parent.

You could see, however, the rage on Tyler's face and the shame on Gerry's face as they walked back to the blanket. "Go lie down," Tyler said in a stern voice, pointing an area on the grass, "that was bad."

Tyler sighed as he sat down beside you, "I swear to God if he knocks over your kid, I'll.."

"You'll what?" You laughed, and a smile broke out across Tyler's face.

"Probably get mad at him for two seconds," he said, "Maybe threaten him with obedience school."

You laughed, and then looked at the writing on the cup of ice cream and laughed even more, "Jeffrey's Ice Cream Palace?"

"Yeah, it's a weird name, but the ice cream is really good," he said, grabbing his cone.

"What did you get me?" You asked as you picked up the cup.

"Mint chocolate chip and some raspberry vanilla thing."

"Ooh," you said, digging in, and watching Tyler take a bite of his cone. "What did you get?"

"A swirl cone with chocolate dip and frosted flakes."

"Frosted flakes?" You asked.

"It's my favourite and I don't get to have it often, don't judge," he said, holding it out to you, " Want some?"

You took a bite, and he raised his eyebrows waiting for your verdict. "I like mine better," you said, and he laughed, both of you eating your ice cream and you sneaking bites of the vanilla kind to Marshall and Cash. You would have given some to Gerry too, had he not been next to Tyler, still in his time out spot.

"No wonder you're their favourite," Tyler said when he caught you, and then nodded towards Cash. "He does not need ice cream."

"Yes, he does," you said, giving him another bite and then patting him on the side, "he's muscular. And he has a fluffy coat, it makes him look bigger than he is."

"Fine," Tyler said, "just know that if you spoil the shit out of my kids that means I get to spoil the shit out of your kid."

"But if you're calling me their mom then I can do whatever I want then," you retorted, and Tyler threw his head back he was laughing do hard. You started laughed a little, too, it was that contagious.

You finished with a smile, still looking at him. "This was really nice, thank you," you said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek, his skin feeling warm under your lips, which were cold from the ice cream, and you just barely felt him smile underneath you.

"Don't thank me, thank them," he said, gesturing to dogs that were laying around you, "It was all their idea. They wanted to show you off to their dog friends."


	37. Chapter 37

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was that you were hot. Hot and sweaty.

The second thing you noticed was that you had to pee. Again. And it was only 5:30 AM.

You sighed, shifting gently, trying not to wake Tyler, wiggling your body out from under the blankets.

You crept towards the bathroom, only to hear all three dogs just down on the bed, again. And then you had an audience while you peed, again.

You took your time washing your hands, letting the cool water run over your wrists to help cool your body down. You opened the bathroom door up slowly and Gerry was the first one out, jumping back up on the bed and starting to lick Tyler on the face, and then he groaned, blinking open his eyes and putting his hands up over his face.

"Did they follow you into the bathroom again?" Tyler asked, rubbing his hands over his face and then making an 'oof' noise when Marshall jumped back up on the bed.

"Yes," you said, walking over to your side of the bed, laying down on top of the covers. "I don't like it, it's creepy."

"Shut them outside the door instead of letting them come in with you then."

"I tried that, then they cry or scratch at the door."

"Yeah, I heard that," Tyler said, and your turned your head to look over at him, seeing just how tired he looked.

"I'm gonna go lie down in the guest room for a bit," you said, trying to push yourself up.

"No," Tyler whined, reaching for your wrist, "I have to get up for morning skate in a few hours anyways."

"Yeah, exactly," you said, "you have a game tonight, you need to sleep."

"The dogs woke me up, not you."

"Well, they wouldn't get up if I didn't get up."

"Well, I'd rather you get up then pee in my bed," he said.

You sighed, and the rolled onto your back, and then onto your side, "I'll just go lay down in the other room so you can sleep."

"No, I said stay," he whined again.

"I don't want to mess you up," you said, looking over at him.

"You're not," he said sincerely, reaching out for your hand under the covers, but dropping it when he couldn't find you. "And if you leave, then all the dogs are going to go with you, and then I'll be lonely and sad. And I can't play hockey when I'm sad."

You laughed because he both sounded and looked so pathetic, but you laid back down properly, resting your head in the pillow.

"There," you heard Tyler say, feeling him shift behind you. "Why aren't you under the blankets?"

"Because I'm hot," you said.

"So you don't want the blankets to shield me from seeing your sexiness?"

"Hot in temperature," you huffed.

Tyler made a noise and reached over, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and tapping it. "There, I turned the air up."

"From your phone?" You asked, and he just laughed.

"Yeah, I'll put in on your phone later so you can do whatever you want with it," he said, "it'll cool off soon, though."

"What, do you live in a robot house now?"

"No, I do not live in a robot house," he scoffed, tossing his arm over you and then pulling back. "Eww, you are hot."

"I told you," you said, "I've got everyone all up on me."

Tyler made a noise of acknowledgment, and then you felt his hand brush you hair out of the back of your neck, his hand trailing to push the back of your shirt up, and then his hand going into a fist, rubbing circles into your lower back, and you felt your head droop into the pillow. "How'd you know my back was sore?"

"Because you walk around like this," he said, stopping for a moment to sit up, his hand going to his own lower back, arching to push his stomach out.

"Do I?"

"Mhmm.." he said, laying back down, his hand returning to rub your back, "close your eyes and go back to sleep."

You shut your eyes, but you didn't go back to sleep, his hand continuing to move, getting slower and slower until it fell away and he fell back to sleep.

So you laid there for several more hours, listening to the dogs' snoring, until Tyler got up, pushing off the bed slowly as if not to wake you. You shifted, once he had gone onto the bathroom, hoping that maybe you'd be able to find a section of bed that would be more comfortable now that you had extra space, but it was to no avail.

You got up, wandering downstairs with the dogs in tow, opening the fridge and looking inside, grabbing yourself a yogurt, and then

looking in the cupboard for some granola. You tossed a handful into your mouth and then opened the back door, pushing them with your foot for encourage them to go outside when they really just wanted food, and then you shut the door, going back to get their bowls ready. You were curled up on the couch, finishing up your granola and yogurt when Tyler came down.

"Why are you up?"

"Can't sleep," you explained, trying to shift the pillows behind your back.

"Hey guys," you heard Tyler say, "Are you hungry?"

"I already fed them!" You shouted into the kitchen.

"That's not fair,"you heard Tyler say in his dog- voice, "Don't try to trick Mom and Dad."

You were just barely recovering from that, when he came into the living room area, "I'm gonna make some some eggs, you want some?"

"No, thanks," taking a deep breath as your belly tightened, and then all of a sudden Tylet as leaning over the couch looking at you.

"Is the baby giving you hickeys again?"

You laughed, a breathy noise, "Braxton hicks."

"That's what I said, Braxton hickeys," Tyler said, grinning now so you knew it wasn't a mistake.

"Yep," you said, shifting on the couch, especially as Marshall jumped up, shifting your position even more.

"And you're sure you're alright?"

"Yes, it's normal."

"Mmk," Tyler said, going to the kitchen, and you could hear him getting things out of the fridge and the cabinets, "So, I'm gonna go to morning skate, but then I'll be home, probably around noon and we can do whatever before I have to leave. And then you can just drive over for game time. Katie'll be there."

"Okay," you said, and then you realized something you hadn't considered as you heaved your belly over. You hadn't though much about the rumours about you being seen with him, now that you were in Dallas, but Tyler's phone had been pinging with notifications, although he didn't seem bothered at all by it. "Should I cover up that I'm pregnant?"

You heard Tyler laugh, and then he came back into the room, spatula in hand, gestering at your belly, "How the fuck do you think you're going to hide that?"

He had a point.

"Seriously, I was the one who posted a picture of you, I don't care," he said, "Although, my mom did say that it's apparently rude to post pictures of people without their consent. But it was cute, so that doesn't apply."

You looked over the back of the couch at him, back in the kitchen now. "So no one asked you about it?"

"Yeah, people asked, but I don't have to answer, it's whatever."

"What about at practice?" You asked, asTyler walked into the living room, "And today at the rink?"

"You know, we usually talk about hockey, not people's personal lives," he said, coming to sit down on the other side of the sectional. "It's no big deal, you're worrying too much."

"Ugh," you said, as Gerry jumped up on the couch now too, and Cash looked like he wanted to, but you started petting him and he sat by the couch so you could continue.

"Careful, guys," Tyler warned, flicking on the T.V., and you watched for a bit as he ate his eggs. You watched for a bit, shifting around still and then pausing when you had another Braxton hicks contraction.

"Are you seriously sure this is normal?" Tyler asked, and you realized that he was sitting up staring at you now, his empty plate on his lap, scratching the back of his head like he was unsure, "You don't need to go to the hospital or anything?"

"No, they're not regular, they're in the front of my belly..."

"Babe," Tyler said, "you just had one, like, ten minutes ago, is that not regular?"

"That's what happens," You said, "Like, yesterday, I had a couple throughout before we went to the park and then at the park, and then they just went away. They don't hurt."

"If they don't hurt, why are you rubbing your stomach and grimacing?" He was looking down his nose at you.

"My stomach just kind of hurts."

"Why does your stomach hurt?"

"I don't know, it just does," you said, "There's a lot going on in there, stuff stretching and moving, and sometimes my digestion is slow, I don't know."

"Like, you're constipated?"

"I don't know, maybe?"

"Well, when's the last time you pooped?"

"Don't you have to leave?"

"Just answer the question."

What the hell, was he a doctor now?

"I don't know, a couple of days ago?"

"Mmm.." Tyler said, standing up with his plate now, "I'm gonna make some coffee before I go to take with me, want some?"

"Please," you said, snuggling back into the couch, and you patted the couch towards where he was, so Cash could jump up in the empty spot.

You were reaching for the remote, looking for something to watch, hearing the blender going and assuming he was making a protein shake, but he came back with a cup of coffee and a berry-coloured smoothie with a straw sticking out of it, pushing the coffee table closer to you so and then setting both of the drinks down on the table.

"Drink those, both of them, they'll help you go poop," he leaned over, ruffling your hair a little, and then kissing the top of your head, "And try to get some more sleep while I'm gone, alright?"

You nodded, waiting until you heard the front door shut, and then you groaned, running your hand over your face.

Seriously?

Seriously, yesterday he was being so cute with the picnic, and the 'dog date' which really felt like a real date, except different. Different because it was already like you knew everything about each other, and there was no pressure to learn anything more. It felt easy, in the best way possible, and you were feeling pretty good about the belief that he was into you, too, as more than a friend.

And then today happened. And, so far, you'd discussed how hot and sweaty you were, and now had talked about your bathroom habits.

And he was the one who brought it up.

And you felt like the pregnant friend.

You thought you might he able to get some sleep while he was gone, but you couldn't, and the couch was starting to feel uncomfortable, so you decided to grab your book and head outside with your smoothie and coffee. Before you did though, you went upstairs and dug out your bathing suit, changing into it and realizing you'd made a giant, giant mistake in not trying it on before you left.

The good news was that your belly was so large you could barely see the bottoms.

The bad news was that the top barely covered your tits.

It was...well, it was a lot.

Thankfully, it was just you and the dogs, so you didn't really have to worry, because this look was definately not appropriate. You rummaged through Tyler's closet, finding a t-shirt you could throw over top, but even that didn't cover your belly. And then you had to try and cover every square inch of your skin with sunscreen.

You looked and felt like a hot mess.

The dogs followed you outside, and it was a lot hotter than you expected, so you immediately got in the pool, and you immediately felt everything in your back and hips relax, the weight lifted off your body.

It was the first time you'd felt comfortable all day.

You swam around a little and Gerry jumped in and followed you, but Marshall and Cash just seemed to be content walking around and watching you. Eventually, you climbed out, only to pull your smoothie and coffee and book over to the side, so you could read and sip while most of your body floated in the water, while Gerry had gotten out, and was now laying in a chair, watching you.

Once you started feeling tired, you got out, pulling a lounge chair into the shade and draping a towel over it, laying down on it and laying the shirt over your chest, perching the book up against your belly. Marshall jumped up and laid down by your feet, while Cash had found a ball and was now chewing it next to you, bumping it against your hand every now and again, with Gerry eyeing you from the chair he was in, as if he was trying to figure out how he could somehow get into your chair, too.

You knew Tyler was home when Gerry jumped off the chair and ran to the fence and then to the back door, barking. "Hi bud!" You heard Tyler say after you heard the back door open, and then he came to sit down next to you in the chair Gerry had been in, and Gerry jumped back up, licking Tyler's face.

"Did you poop yet?"

Your eyes widened in disbelief and you lost your place in the book as you turned to look at him. "Can you not ask me that?"

"Why?"

"Because it's....weird?"

He looked down at where he was scratching Gerry and then back at you. "Sorry, I just don't want your stomach to hurt," he said, "plus, I fed you a bunch of cheese yesterday so it's probably partly my fault."

You laughed now, your fingers going to your forehead, "Tyler, it's not your fault. I'm pregnant, it's normal."

"Yeah, but I just don't want you to not feel good."

"I'm gonna be uncomfortable," you said, "it's okay. I'm not in bad pain, I just...feel pregnant."

"Yeah, but if you don't tell me what's going on, then I don't know what I can do to help."

The eyes he was looking at you with were so soft, and you felt your heart swell. "How about this? I'll tell you if there's something you can do for me, or if something's really bothering me, okay?"

"'K," he said, smiling softly at you, and then his voice took on a low whisper, "What the fuck is that?"

You followed his gaze to your belly, which was waving with movement. "It's the baby."

"Yeah, but I didn't think you could actually see it. That's weird," Tyler said, "And cool. Weird and cool."

You laughed, "It is kind of weird."

He leaned over, putting his hand over the area that had just moved, the shirt you had placed on your chest falling away at the same time. "Oh, porn star boobies," Tyler said, and you rolled your eyes, trying to cover up, because of course he commented, but his hand stopped you, and then he was tugging on your top, pulling it. "Your nipple was showing. Unless that was the look you were going for?"

"No, that was not the look I was going for," you chided.

"Well, I dunno," he shrugged, moving back into his own chair. "Whatcha reading?"

You held up the book and he read the title aloud "Happiest Baby on the Block?" He said, "So is that a mystery then?"

You laughed at his horrible joke, "It's educational. I'm trying to learn."

"And are you?"

"I don't know if it works or not , it's just supposed to be stuff to soothe a newborn."

"Well, I got a baby right here," Tyler said, and then next thing you knew, he had pulled Gerry up further into his lap, cradling his head like baby, "What does it say to do?"

"I'm on the shushing part now. You're supposed to go like shh...."

"Shh...shh..." Tyler said, right in Gerry's face, which only succeeded in getting his face licked, Gerry wiggling around to try and get out from Tyler's grasp. "Yeah, it doesn't work."

You laughed, but then that laugh turned into a bit of a wince, when you had another Braxton Hicks.

"Okay, yeah, that's it, you need to see a doctor."

"Tyler, I'm –"

"That one looked like it hurt."

"It's okay if they hurt a little bit."

Tyler just looked over at you, and then he was standing up. "Wait here," he instructed, disappearing back inside the house, and then you were just sitting there, wondering what the hell he was doing, but not really wanting to follow him, because he was being kind of weird.

After 10 minutes, you were contemplating just going inside, mostly because you had to pee, but he came out with his phone in his hand. "Marshall, get off," he said, "We've got a doctor's appointment in half an hour, you need to get dressed."

"What?"

"I got you an appointment with a baby doctor," he said, coming behind you and taking your hand and then his hand went to your back, like you couldn't stand up by yourself.

"A baby doctor? Like a pediatrician?"

"No, a pregnancy baby doctor," he said, "She's supposed to be good."

You didn't know how he'd gotten you an appointment that quickly, and you weren't entirely sure you wanted to know how. His hand went to your lower back, guiding you back into the house, all of the dogs following you.

"Okay, but I don't need you to come with me," you said. "I can drive myself, and I'll text, just –"

Tyler stopped and you, by extension, stopped as well. "Wait, what? You said everything's fine, and now you want to go to the doctor?"

His eyes went wide, and then he frowned with concern, little crinkled appearing around his eyes, and you exhaled, your hand going to your hair, and then dropping to your belly. "You're kind of freaking me out, a bit, when you keep asking, and..."

Tyler's expression softened immediately, and his hand moved to your arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out," he said. "I'm sure everything's fine, it just doesn't hurt to get checked, right?"

"Yeah," you took another deep breath, "He's moving lots."

"See, that's good," Tyler smiled gently, "you need help getting dressed?"

"No, I don't need help getting dressed," you laughed.

"I'm gonna make sure the dogs have water before we go, but I'm sure they'll come supervise you getting changed."

"Tyler.." you said, trying to look at his wrist to see if he was wearing a watch, but he wasn't, so you craned your head to try and see the time on the stove in the kitchen.

"Babe, I'm not letting you go to the doctor by yourself, especially not if you're freaked out," he said, giving you an easy smile. "You're just going to have to deal with me being there, I'm sorry."

It was all you could do to give him an appreciative smile back, which you kept giving him as he placed his hand over yours in the car as he drove, as his hand went to your back as he led you through the door he held open, and went up to the desk to check you in, without even asking you first.

Once you were in the room, however, the nerves had worn off, and you were pretty positive that Tyler's concern had just made you second guess yourself.

"Are you in pain again, or are you worrying?" Tyler asked, and you must have given him a weird look because he added, "You're fidgeting."

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to wear pants or not," you confessed. Usually they told you ahead of time whether you needed to get undressed or not.

"But you're not wearing pants," Tyler said, looking at your bare legs sticking out from under your dress.

"I meant my underwear," you whispered, and Tyler started laughing loudly, even as the door opened.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lutz," she said, laughing a little at the two of your laughing, "what's going on?"

"Umm...I've been having a lot of Braxton hicks contractions. I think they're Braxton hicks."

"Okay, and how far along are you?"

"33 weeks," you answered, and she came over and started feeling your belly.

"Is this your first?" She asked, and you nodded, "And has your doctor checked to see if you're dilated or effaced at all?"

"Yeah, before I left, I wasn't."

"She got here two days ago," Tyler added.

After she asked a few questions about duration and frequency, you were told she want to check your cervix, and were left with a sheet to cover yourself.

You stood back up, wiggling out of your underwear and then holding it in your hand, glancing around the room. You'd normal fold it up in your pants, only you weren't wearing pants, and you didn't just want to set them down in the open. And you didn't bring your purse, because you'd been in such a rush to get out of the house.

"Do you want me to put those in my pocket?" Tyler laughed from behind you, and then you realized he'd just been watching you amusedly standing there, unsure, holding your underwear. His hand was extended towards you, and you could hear footsteps coming and didn't know what else to do, so you pressed them into his hands, and he stood up, stuffing them into his pocket, standing there casually like there was nothing unusual about the situation.

"Thanks," you said, sitting down.

"It's what I'm here for," he responded, winking at you.

You had the sheet rearranged on your lap, your legs up, and Tyler was standing up next to your head whent Dr. Lutz came back in. You took a deep breath when you watched her put her gloves on, partly from nerves, partly because you didn't really feel like being prodded around at up there.

And then you felt Tyler's hand cover yours, and you flipped it around, holding his hand as you breathed through the exam.

"Okay, so you're not dilated or effaced at all, which is good," she said, "I'd like to put on a fetal monitor, just so we can check the baby and check that you're not having any contractions."

Then you were inching up the bed, pulling your dress up and the sheet down to expose your belly while she went to get the machine.

"You alright?" Tyler asked, quietly standing against the wall now.

"Yeah," you answered, "are you?"

Tyler laughed under his breath, "I am if you are."

"You were worried though."

"Yeah," Tyler admitted, running his hand through his hair and he exhaled, "I don't know, I didn't really think there was something wrong with the baby, but you seemed uncomfortable and I didn't like that. I don't really know anything all about this stuff, it makes me....I don't know."

There was something there, you thought, a vulnerability or a uncertainty or...something, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. You didn't have time to, either, because then the doctor came back in, and went to strapping the monitor to your belly, the baby's heartbeat echoing in the background, and you were instructed to wait there for twenty minutes while the monitor recorded the heart rate and any possible contractions.

"Are you okay to stay?" You asked, looking over your shoulder at him.

"Yeah, I've got lots of time yet," he said, dragging over a chair to sit next to you. "What happened here?"

You lifted your head to see where he was looking at, and noticed you had a couple of scratches up the side of your belly.

"Gerry must have gotten me in the pool," you said.

"You went swimming? I thought just Gerry went in," He asked and, when you nodded, he laughed, "Wasn't it cold?"

"No, it felt really good. It really felt good on my back and hips too."

"While, that's good," Tyler said, his finger tracing the scratch marks, "You shouldn't have let Gerry get so close to you though."

"I didn't mean to, my belly sticks out more than I think it does," you said, and he laughed, looking at the monitors and then back at you again, and you couldn't quite read the expression on his face. He almost looked bored, but usually when he was bored he'd pull out his phone or shuffle his feet, or do something. You wondered if he was tired, but he didn't look it, smiling every time you looked at him. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," he said reflexively, and then just leaned forward, his arms resting on his thighs, "I just don't really know what I'm supposed to be doing?"

"You're not supposed to be doing anything?"

"Yeah, I know but...like," he started, and then he ran his hand over his face. "I feel like you change so much and I only see you once a month and it's hard for me to know what you're going through?"

"You don't have to, Tyler..."

"Yeah, but I want to," he said in a quieter voice.

Something in your chest broke a little bit and then came back together. "You're doing exactly what I need you to do, Tyler."

He smiled at you, and sat up a little bit more when the doctor came back into the room, looking over the readout, "Your baby's heart rate looks great, and I'm seeing one little contraction, but it's not significant or rhythmic. So, you might notice that you'll have a few clusters and then they'll taper off."

"That's what happened yesterday," Tyler said.

"Yeah, so sometimes a change in position helps, making sure you're hydrated, and taking a warm bath can help. You might also notice then more when you or your baby is more active, or after sex," she said, and you heard Tyler cough from behind you, "but you can still do all those things, it's only a concern if they start become more frequent or painful."

"Yeah, she knew they were fake," Tyler said, a and rested on your shoulder now, "It was me who was unsure, I should have listened to her."

"Well, it never hurts to check things out," she said, giving Tyler a sympathetic smile and then directing her attention back to you. "First-time Dad's can get a little nervous sometimes."

You opened your mouth to speak, but Tyler spoke up for you first, "Oh no, he's not....I'm not his dad," he said, "I'm just a friend."

You probably should have had a reaction to his 'just a friend' statement, but the doctor was apologizing profusely and all you were doing was trying not to laugh because you realized that he'd stayed in the room with you when you undressed, and now she was probably thinking Tyler was your gay best friend or something and not....whatever this was. Once she had left the room however, it was just you and Tyler and yet, it didn't feel awkward at all.

You still couldn't erase that uncertain and unsure look he'd had on his face from your mind though, so you stood up, and immediately hugged him, because you didn't know how to put it into words, you could only communicate it with your body. He seeming a little surprised at first, but then he was rubbing up and down your back, smiling against you.

When you pulled back and turned to leave, Tyler cleared his throat, and then you looked back at him to see your panties extended out on his finger. "You want these back, or did you just want me to keep them?"

You blushed, and then whipped them out of his hand, trying to put them on without lifting up your dress completely.

"I see you're wearing the little ones today," he said, "Did the big ones not fit in your suitcase?"

"Shut up," you grumbled, and he laughed, waiting for you to get situated before he opened the door.

"I like going to the doctor with you," he said, after you'd gotten back in the car, "it gives me stuff I can actually do. I really hope when you have the baby, the doctor just tells me what do."

You kind of laughed a bit, because you didn't know how else to respond, but you felt lighter now, now that he seemed more relaxed and like himself.

Until you got home and you were on the couch when Tyler came and sat on the edge, tossing you one of the water bottles in his hand. You were laying on your side, doing nothing other than petting Cash. "I think you should stay home tonight and not come to the game."

"What? Tyler, the doctor said I'm fine."

"She also said that if you're active it can bring them on," he said, "and we went out yesterday."

"For a picnic!" You said, "I was sitting down eating food, it was hardly strenuous."

He gave a small smirk at that. But this whole day had been about you and your pregnancy, the whole trip so far had been about you, and you just wanted to support him, too.

He moved closer to you, brushing your hair out of your face, and your eyes instinctively shut, just for a moment. "You barely slept, and you're sore and tired, and you'll be at the next one," he said, "You can watch it on T.V., that way, if you fall asleep like you did at my last game, you'll be much more comfortable."

"You knew I fell asleep?"

"Not for sure, no, but I know what you looked like when you wake up, and you just confirmed it for me right then," he said, and you must have looked mortified because he laughed. "Don't worry, it was cute. And I'm pretty impressed that you were able to sleep at all."

"That was why i missed your goal," you confessed and he laughed even harder.

"So you'll stay here tonight and then come to my next game?"

"Yeah.." you said tentatively.

"Babe, the whole point of this trip was for you to relax, not come to watch me play, there's lots of other times you can do that."

"Well, I also came to spend time with you."

He smiled at that, "Yeah, but you have, and I've got tomorrow off and you've just got your massage, right?" You nodded, it was the only thing you'd had planned while you were here, especially after you'd had that massage he'd gotten you for Christmas. "You'll probably feel way better after that, and then I'm all yours."

And so you gave in, cuddling up with the dogs while Tyler went to get ready. You were half asleep when you heard his footsteps coming towards you, "I brought you your pillow, but I can see you've already got dog pillows," he said, and them you saw his hand set more water and a glass of lemonade and your phone charger on the side table.

You'd seen the cuffs but you were still not prepared for when he came around the couch, dressed in his suit. Which you'd seen before, obviously, but you hadn't really appreciated the sight quite like you should.

"Are you alright?" Tyler asked, peering towards you. "Your cheeks are all red."

"Yeah, I'm just hot again," you said, "the baby and the dogs.."

He took your phone, turning up the air conditioning like he'd showed you how to do earlier. "Are you breathing weird?"

Yes, yes, you were, and it was all his fault.

"The baby just kicked me in the ribs."

"Well, tell him it's good that he's active, but he's supposed to be resting now," Tyler said, and then he passed you a piece of paper you hadn't seen him holding. "I left my credit card on the kitchen table if you want to order food, and you can call this number if theres an emergency."

"What is this number?"

"They'll come get me if you need me," he said. Which meant he'd set this whole thing up, and told...whoever this number belonged to something.

"Tyler..."

"I'm the only one you really know here," he said, adding firmly. "Promise me you will call it if there's an emergency or I'm not leaving."

"Okay," you exhaled, and that serious look floated away.

"I mean like an actual emergency, not like you ran out of ice cream or something."

"Okay," you smiled back at him now.

"I need good luck kisses," Tyler said, moving down the line and kissing Gerry and Cash abs you on the top of the head, followed by Marshall who was curled up among your feet. "You guys give mama lots of cuddles."

They did exactly as he asked, and you were pretty sure you were asleep before he'd even left the house, barely hearing him promise you that he'd text you on his way home. You woke up part of the way through the second period, feeling more energized, and decided to make chicken fajitas for yourself for dinner, thinking that maybe Tyler would eat some when he got home. You didn't know this kitchen quite as well as his Toronto one, and the dogs weren't any help at all, only wanting some of the cheese you'd grated.

You ate your dinner while you continued to watch the game, finally just leaving the sports channel on to watch the highlights and the aftershow. You were curled up again, mostly asleep when you heard Tyler come home, moving about the house, and then finally coming into the living room where you were, having changed into a pair a sweats and a t-shirt. "It's freezing in here," he said.

"Sorry, you can turn the air down," you said, realizing you had goosebumps now, even under the blanket and with the warmth of the dogs surrounding you.

"No, this is perfect for cuddling," he said, sliding his way in between you and Marshall, who looked a little disgruntled about this until you lifted you reached over Tyler to pet him.

"I made chicken fajitas if you're hungry."

"Yeah, I saw, I put some on the oven," he said, reaching around to lift your legs up onto his, and you tucked your toes under Marshall's body, Cash laying on your other side so his face was right by your shoulder, while Gerry was laying behind you, curled around the pillow you had your head on.

Tyler had this goofy grin on his face, which was a little weird, especially considering that the highlights were still on from the game they'd lost to Vegas. He'd had a good game, which you were happy about because it meant he wasn't completely exhausted, but you didn't expect him to seem so happy after a game they lost.

"What're you smiling about?" You laughed.

"Nothing," he said innocently enough, his hand rubbing up and down your shin as he turned his head you look you in the eye. "I just really like you being here when I get home."

"I really like being here to see you when you get home," you smiled back at him.


	38. Chapter 38

"How's your back now?" Tyler asked, pretty much as soon as you stepped in the door.

"So good," you smiled, feeling 100% better after your massage.

"Better than when I rub it for you?" he asked, smiling at you with his eyebrows raised like he knew the answer was 'no', but wanted to be told otherwise.

"You'd be better if you had a massage table I could put my belly in," you said, bending down now to pet all the dogs who had arrived to greet you.

"I could build you a stack of pillows," Tyler said, tilting his head to look at your belly, "Might need a lot of pillows though."

You laughed, setting your bag down and going to sit on the couch, all of the dogs following you as well as Tyler.

"Do you want to do something today?" He asked, sitting down beside you and putting his arm over the back of the couch.

"Something?" You asked.

"Yeah, anything you want," he said, and then paused. "Well, other than going in a hot tub, getting a tattoo, riding a roller coaster, or going horseback riding."

"I'm not really interested in doing any of those things," you laughed.

"What are you interested in doing then?" He asked, and you gave him a weird look.

"Is there something you want to do?" You countered. You couldn't figure out why he was asking so many questions, like he was just dancing around something and not coming out and saying it.

"No, well...I had an idea of something we could do, but if you're tired we could just stay here and..do nothing."

"It's up to you," you said, "I like doing stuff with you and I like doing nothing with you."

He smiled, but he responded, "No, it's up to you," adding a poke to your side. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"Really?" Tyler asked. "Because you fell asleep on me on the couch last night."

You had, in fact, shutting your eyes and resting your head on his shoulder while he was eating. Tyler had woken you up around 2AM to get you to go to bed but by then your head had drifted to his chest, and you could tell by the look on his face that he'd fallen asleep as well.

"I think the plane messed my back up, because I barely slept the first couple nights," you said, "I'm better now."

"You should book a massage for when you get back," Tyler said.

"I should," you agreed, and he smiled at you again.

"So, you want to go out or stay in?"

You were getting the impression that he wanted to go out. He was acting, rather unusual, because usually when you stayed with him you'd just sort of go about your days, doing whatever he was doing, or just staying at the house by yourself and relaxing. But this time, it seemed, he had planned activities rather than just a new restaurant he had wanted you to try. "What did you have in mind? Or is it a secret?"

"No, it's not a secret," he laughed, "I was thinking the aquarium."

You almost laughed then, because you couldn't picture him going to the aquarium by choice.

"I thought you might find it relaxing," he continued, "Walk around a bit and stuff."

"Sure," you smiled, partly because he seemed hopeful for your reaction, and partly because it sounded nice to you. "I should shower first though. I need to rinse off the massage oil. "

"Yeah, we can go after lunch," Tyler said, "I'll get some stuff ready for grilled cheeses and I'll start them when you come down?"

"Okay," you said, pushing yourself off the couch and heading upstairs.

"You guys do not need to go watch her shower," you could here Tyler saying to the dogs, "That's creepy."

You took your time in the shower, going through your routine, until you were trying to sweep around the back of your thigh with a razor, and grimaced when you felt the familiar sensation of just having cut open your skin. You couldn't see it, though, and you tried to sweep your hand to check for blood, but you didn't see any red. The water continued to sting, however, so when you got out, after you wrapped a towel around yourself, you tried to look over your shoulder in the mirror or lift your leg up, but it wasn't working. You still couldn't see, especially not with your belly on the way, even where to apply pressure or if you were bleeding. You were naked other than the towel, but it wasn't anything he hadn't seem before, and you needed another pair of eyes.

"Ty?" You called, and you didn't think you sounded panicked, but you could here him rushing up the stairs.

"Move," you heard him mumble, and then the door opened and he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. "What the hell happened?"

"I think I cut myself? Is it bleeding?"

"Oh thank God," Tyler exhaled, "Yeah, yeah it's bleeding."

"Do you have a bandaid?"

"Uhh.." Tyler said, frowning at you and then grabbing at the toilet paper, wiping at your leg, and then throwing the bloody tissue in the trash, going to wet another wad. "How the fuck do you do this? There's, like, a ton of little cuts?"

"I don't know, I was trying to shave and them I slipped, it's hard to reach, " you were holding the towel around your chest, Tyler grabbing more toilet paper, this time, holding them steady over the area that was bleeding.

"Hold that?" He asked, and your fingers replaced his, while he started looking through the bathroom cabinet. "Why didn't you ask me to help you?"

"Ask you to help me shave my legs?"

"Mhmm.." he said, pausing in the search and looking at you cheekily. "You need help to shave your cooch?"

"Tyler!"

"What? I'm just trying to be a good friend," he said innocently enough, "how about though, next time you want to shave your legs, you do it in the bath not the shower?"

"Yeah, okay," you said, and then you balked as he pulled a green box out of the cabinet finally. "Ninja turtles bandaids?"

"Yeah, they're fun," he said, and you realized you'd probably have to start getting used to only having kid's bandaids around. "Can you put your leg up here?" He asked, opening the bandaid up and tapping the counter. You lifted your foot up, but your belly stopped it from getting very high up.

"Guess not," Tyler laughed, crouching down, and all that you could feel was his hand against your leg, smoothing one bandage and then another. "You're gonna have the whole gang on your leg."

You laughed, feeling his hands smooth over the bandaids once more, and then his hand settled on the curve of your knee, which was nowhere near where the cuts were, his other hand crumpling the packages from the bandaids.

You stiffened a little when you felt his beard brush against your leg, trying to stop yourself from having that reaction. Before you could even process much of anything, he was rubbing his face near the midline of your thing, and your legs immediately parted. You heard Tyler make a noise, and then he was kissing up your inner thigh, towards where you were throbbing. You were clutching the towel hard, more so for something to grab on to rather than to keep it around your body. You were breathing heaving by the time your felt his warm breath between your legs, a slow kiss placed on your clit, and then his tongue circling your entrance collecting all of your arousal, and just bringing more down.

"Tyler.." you said, your hand reaching for his hair, and only now did he pull away from you, his tongue darting out to lick his lips, looking up at you with dark eyes, and his voice was soft when he spoke.

"I wanna make you feel good," he said, his hands already going back to you, holding around your calves, "Will you let me?"

You couldn't answer because he was moving onto his knees now, sliding both of his hands up your inner thighs even though your legs were already parted, and you suspected he wasn't asking because he wanted you to answer, but only to give you an opportunity to say now.

And then he was diving back in, licking and sucking at your most sensitive parts and the noises alone were making you hotter. The towel dropped from your grasp, pooling on the floor, and Tyler groaned, immediately thrusting his tongue inside you, and your legs got wobbly. You felt his hand intertwine with yours, lifting it up and placing it on the bathroom counter, holding it there for a moment before his arms went around the back of your legs.

"Oh god, Tyler," you gasped, and he hummed against you.

"Mmm...so good," he mumbled against your thigh.

It was almost like that fantasy you'd had, except he was going with more enthusiasm than you could have imagined. Unlike what you'd imagined, you couldn't see him because your belly was in the way, but it didn't matter much anyways, because you could barely keep your eyes opened. You let yourself get lost in the sensations, your hand running through your hair and trailing over your collarbone and playing with your nipples.

"Mmm...don't stop."

"Never," he spoke, literally against your cunt, his beard providing extra friction. His rocked his face back and forth, sending tingles up your spine, and you shifted your hips, settling your clit against his mouth. One hand dropped from the back of your legs, his fingers sliding right where you needed it, hooking up to your g-spot immediately, and your hips starting moving of their own accord, seeking out what your body needed, his other hand moving now to grip your ass, and you were pretty sure you were white knuckling the kitchen counter.

"That's it babe, get yourself off," he said, and your free hand went down to try and reach for the back of his head, which you counted see, but you somehow pushed against his shoulder and he got the message, laughing as he moved his face back between your legs, and your damn eyes rolled back in your head, in the best way possible.

His tongue was flicking at your clit, his fingers curving, pumping against your g-spot.

"Ohhhhh," you moaned, low and deep, shuddering as you came, your body instinctively pulling back, but Tyler's arm held you to him, stilling his fingers inside you, the flicks of his tongue getting lighter and lighter as you relaxed, until he was lapping at you, cleaning you up now, his fingers slowly pulling out once you stopped pulsing, spreading your wetness across your inner thighs.

"Mm.." you said, trying to push him away, but not really getting your hands on him, "Sensitive," you managed because, for some reason you didn't seem to be able to say the word 'stop'.

Only then did he move his face, but then he started licking at your inner thighs, his tongue collected the wetness that had traveled downward, and your legs, already feeling weak from your orgasm, wobbled. "Tyler, Tyler."

He sat back on his heels, panting slightly, wiping at his mouth and beard as he looked up at you, like he didn't know quite what to say or do, or like he could even begin thinking about standing up. But his eyes were connected right with yours, like there was an invisible line drawing them together, even thought you were standing there, completely naked, before him.

"I want you inside me," you breathed.

"Yeah," Tyler said, his hand going to the back like you'd asked him a simple question, and then his brain seemed to connect. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

He stood up quickly, his palms moving around your face to peck a quick kiss on his lips, reaching for your hand while reaching for the doorknob with the other. But then he dropped both of the things he was holding, going to take off his shirt, opening the door as soon as he had one arm free. "Out" he said in a firm voice, pointing now, his feet shuffling along the floor. "C'mon, get out of my room."

He seemed to forget about you because, when you came out from the ensuite, he was shutting his bedroom door, getting rid of his pants with the other. And then he turned around, searching for you.

And, oh.

Oh wow.

He smiled, and you each took two steps towards each other, floating away the distance between you. You were in each others arms, but all you could focus on was his lips, soft and familiar against yours, and you wanted all of him, right here and right now.

"I can't–" you started, not sure if you wanted to say you couldn't wait, or you couldn't mess around with other having part of him when you could have the whole thing.

"Yeah, yeah, me neither," he said and the next thing you knew, the backs of your legs were hitting against the bed, and you were sitting down. Tyler leaned over you, still standing up, fumbling behind you while still trying to kiss you, and then you felt a pillow behind your back. You realized you didn't exactly know how this was going to go down, but it seemed he already had a plan.

He was hovering over you still, kissing you, your hand braced on his back, because it didn't feel like he could get close enough. Not with your belly in the way, not with everything in the way. He pulled away and your heart hurt, kneeling on the bed before you, his eyes focused right between your legs, his tongue licking his lips like he wanted to taste you more.

"Tyler," you said, and his fingers pushing inside you, moving around like he wanted to make sure you were ready, and you leaned back on your elbows. "Tyler, Tyler, please." It almost felt like you going to cry, your eyes prickling, with what you needed right before you. His eyes connected with yours again as he pulled his fingers out, licking all of you off of him.

"You taste so good babe, you have no idea," he said. But maybe you did have an idea, because then he was kidding you again, and you pulling at him because he was so close.

Finally, finally you felt him nudging at your entrance, your body wanting to pull him in, but something in your mind held you back. "Mmm..Tyler..Tyler..." you spoke against his face in a hurried voice, because you didn't want anything else to stop you. "A condom...do we need a condom?"

He pulled back then, still kneeling by the bed, and smirked at you. "Not unless you can get an STD from your hand now, nope."

You reached for him, then but he held steady, only just running his hands up and down your thighs. "What about you? You been getting any?"

"Tyler..."

"What, you can ask about me but I can't ask about you?"

"I'm pregnant."

"So?" He asked, his hand going to cup the back of your head, looking like he was going to kiss you. "You're still beautiful."

He didn't kiss you, though, like you'd thought he would, but instead steadied his hands around your hips, slowly pushing inside you, your breath catching in your throat. Then, when he was fully buried inside you he stilled, pressing a kiss to your lips as his hands roamed your ribcage, and you reaching for his shoulders. "You alright?"

"Uh-huh"

"Say yes," he whispered, and you could feel him twitching inside you. "I mean, was that a yes?"

"Yes. Yes, yes, yes," you said, and he sort of cocked his eyebrow at your extraneous response, but it didn't matter because then he was moving.

You wanted to kiss him, while he was inside you, but you couldn't reach, which was frustrating, but then his hands held yours, and another piece slid into place as you were connected even more. You use your legs, as much as you could, to wrap around him, because you wanted to be touching everywhere. You had no idea, how long you stayed like that, it seeming both like forever and not long enough, your hips meeting his at the edge of the bed. You, noticing all the little noises that he was making, and the warmth of his body. You did remember spasming around him as he pulsing inside you, gasping for breath as your bodies disconnected so you could kiss.

And then, the next thing you knew, you were side by side in the bed, your head against his chest and his lips in your hair, his leg tossed over yours.

"Are you having contractions?" He asked, his hand rubbing down your back.

"No?

You felt him frown. "No? But the doctor said..did that mean it wasn't good enough?" He almost sounded alarmed at the thought.

"No," you said, moving your head so you could see him, "It was really, really good."

"Yeah it was," he said, pressing his lips to yours in a simple kiss, like he was just saying hello to you after a day at work. "Should we see if I can get you to have more of those practice contractions? You know, for practice."

You laughed, and then he did, too, snuggling closer into you. "Okay, later then?" He said, although you weren't entirely sure whether he was serious or not about that.

"Tyler?"

"Mhm?" He mumbled.

"Could you make me that grilled cheese now? Please?"

He laughed even louder that he had made you moan.

But he did get up and make you that grilled cheese.

**

"You're sure you're up for this?" Tyler asked. You were standing in line to get into the aquarium now.

"Yes," you said, "Walking is good for me. Remember? We talked about this."

"Yeah, but that was before we fu—" you pinched the back of his hand hard, looking at all the children around and he finished with a whisper, "had sex."

You shot him a dirty look, but you weren't even sure it really affected him.

It was kind of funny, though, after you had pinched his hand, the back of your hands kept finding each others, and then his hand slipped into yours as you stepped into the forest area, like he didn't want you to trip onto the divide going onto the boardwalk. But neither of you let go.

You looked around, listening to the sounds of the birds, and looking at all the colours of the nature.

"Ooh, cock-of-the-rock, my favourite!" Tyler said.

"Excuse me?" You asked, turning your head to him.

"Cock-of-the-rock," he repeated, louder this time, grinning at you as he pointed to the sign depicting an orange bird.

"Wow, okay," you said, and he laughed, walking with you throughout the forest area, still holding your hand, stopping when you did, and looking at what you were looking at.

When you went into the aquarium area, you felt your body relax in the calm, quiet after being in the monkey exhibit, taking in the glowing jellyfish, and seahorses, and various fish fluttering through the water.

There were a lot of parents, pushing kids around in strollers, something you didn't notice until Tyler said, "Your kid would probably like it here. You could bring him, next year."

"Tyler," you said, running your hand over face. "I don't know...it's not...I don't know what it's going to be like. What he's going to be like. It might be a lot, to fly with a baby, by myself."

"Well, you could time it with when I'm home in Toronto so I could fly one way with you," he said. "You're not going to be working, so you can come whenever you want."

"There's a lot of stuff, too, when they're little."

"That's what I'd be there for, to carry the stuff."

"Okay, but there's a lot...like...where would he sleep? I'd have to-"

"Oh, Rads has one of those portable crib things he said I can borrow."

"A portable crib?" You asked, "A playpen?"

"Yeah, one of those," he says, "Just...its an option. If you want."

"Okay," you said, thankful that he'd put the conversation to rest. It wasnt that you didn't want to, but that you just didn't want to commit unless you were 100%.

"Do you have a swaddle blanket?" He asked, as you continued to walk along.

"Uh..not with me, no?"

Tyler scoffed at you. "I meant at home."

"Yeah, you can swaddle with any blanket," you said, "like, the one you got me. Why?"

"Oh, I was just reading your book while you were out..."

"You were reading my book?" You asked.

"Yeah," he said, "and I know it says it's good for then, babies? Can you show me how to do it one time? It didn't make sense, in my head."

"Yes," you laughed in disbelief, "Yeah, I can show you how."

"Good," Tyler smiled. "You wanna go see the penguins?"

"Yeah, I do."

So you went, watching the penguins splash and slide, and play.

"They're like you," Tyler said.

"The penguins are like me?"

"Yeah," he said, reading from the sign, "'These monogamous penguins breed in nesting colonies.' "

You swallowed, wondering if it was the monogamous thing that had caught his eye, if he was gonna say it, right now "What do you mean?"

"You've got, like,a nesting colony, with all the people helping you "

"I guess, yeah, I guess I do," you said. Especially if Tyler wanted to learn how to swaddle.

You looked down at you hands, still joined, and he did too, but neither or you said anything, or broke away. You walked onto the shark tunnel next, and it was eerily quiet and now Tyler moved behind you. "Are you scared?"

"Are you?"

"A little," he said, smiling as he rested his head on your shoulder, and then you turned, looking at the shark as it swam overhead. When you looked back down, Tyler was looking at you. It was kind of romantic, actually, the lights and the quiet, and you could see the colour of the water ripples bouncing of Tyler's eyes, the two of you getting closer, his hand going to your arm, and then your waist, and then he was bending down, and...

"Donatello!"

You broke away at the sound of the little voice, looking at Tyler in confusion until he laughed, walking around to the back of you and lifting up your dress to expose your bandaids. "Which one is Donatello?" He asked the child, "'cause I forget."

It was kind of cute, other than the fact he was dangerously close to exposing your underwear in an aquarium.

"You don't know who Donatello is?" Tyler asked, when you fell back in step again. "I'm gonna have to teach your kid some stuff."

"Like what?"

Tyler shrugged, "When you visit, you take him here, I'll take him on boy's outing."

"A boy's outing? What is a boy's outing?"

"Fishing and a strip club."

"You are not taking my baby to a strip club!"

"No, not when he's a baby, when he's older."

"You're still not taking my son to a strip club."

"Would you rather he go alone than with me?"

"Yes, yes, actually I would, Tyler."

He giggled, and you were happy to see the sloths, to stop you from thinking about Tyler taking your child to a strip club.

"I love sloths," you said, "they look so cuddling."

"I think we've got some sloths waiting at home for us to cuddle right now," Tyler said, and you realized he'd let go of your hand awhile back when he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

You thought you were ready to go, until you Tyler stopped, and you turned to see him videoing something in an exhibit on his phone. "Babe, you gotta see these turtles."

So you walked closer, rolling your eyes when you saw that one turtle was straight up mounted on the other. Tyler giggled at your reaction, which was only attracting more attention, and you were pretty sure you heard a child ask their mother why that turtle was on top of the other one.

Which made Tyler laugh harder.

"Tyler," you whispered, grabbing his hand, "there are children."

"Yeah, how do you think the children got to be here?" He said, and then he laughed, "how do you think that happened?" He asked, pointing to your bump. "We were like those turtles, remember?"

You were literally pulling him out of the reptile area now.

"Hey, babe, do you remember?"

"Yes, Tyler," you sighed, "I remember."


	39. Chapter 39

The pool was quickly become your favourite place.

Especially once Tyler had brought you out a pool floaty, so all you really had to do was rest your arms and head, and let the rest of your body float.

You heard the door open and you looked up to see Tyler stepping out, squinting in the sun. "Why is Marshall laying on a pool floatie?"

"Because he wanted to come in the pool, but he didn't want to swim," you said, pushing his pool floatie away from yours. Tyler gave you a weird look, but the Gerry got out of the pool with his ball and went over to Tyler who grabbed it, teasing him with it before he tossed it into the pool and it plopped next to you, and then you shut your eyes as you saw Gerry running full force towards the pool, jumping into the water and splashing you, causing Marshall to bark.

"Tyler!"

"What?" He laughed. "I was just throwing the ball for him. He wanted to play."

"Did you have to throw it so close to me?"

"It was an accident," he said, moving away as you made like you were going to splash him.

"It was not," you said, swimming with both you and Marshall into the corner. Cash was swimming, too, yet it was no where as fast as Gerry, giving you more time to escape.

"Yeah, it wasn't," he admitted, and you gave Tyler a weird look when he laid down on his stomach on the cement, and then pet Marshall, pulling on your floaty until you were close enough for him to place a kiss on your forehead. "I'm gonna head out, I'll be back in a couple hours. You still gonna be in the pool when I get back? You're gonna get all wrinkly."

"Probably. I just might stay in here forever."

He made kind of a weird face, "I mean, that's fine, but please don't give birth in my pool," he said, "you gonna come out to come to my game or are you gonna be to busy whale-ing it up?"

"Tyler!" You said, and he just laughed. "Stop!"

"Yeah, that's not what you were saying to me last night," he squinted, lifting his hat of his head to run his hands through his hair."I think that was 'don't stop?'"

"Tyler!" You said, and before you said stop again said, "Don't be mean to me."

"I'm not being mean."

"You called me a whale!"

"Yeah, because you're swimming around in a pool all the time," he said, and you still doubting that, even before he added, with a laugh, "And you're really big."

"Tyler!" You grumbled, grabbing a ball and throwing it to the otherside of the pool to get Cash and Gerry to swim away from you.

"But I like it when you say my name."

"You like it when I yell your name at you?"

"Sometimes," he admitted, getting up off the ground now, "You guys make sure she doesn't sink. You want me to get you a rope so you can hook up to Gerry and he can tow you around?"

"No thank you," you said, adjusting your sunglasses. "And I will come. Do you know if they have grilled cheeses there?"

"Do I know if they have grilled cheeses there?" He repeated, frowning, "No, I'm usually a little busy."

"They have them at the ACC, really good ones, that had guacamole on it."

Tyler raised his eyebrows. "If they don't, I'll make you a grilled cheese when we get home after the game, alright?"

"Okay," you smiled happily.

"'K, I gotta go," he said, turning, "love you, see you in a bit."

"Love you too," you replied, and you heard him giggle a bit and wondered if he was talking to the dogs, but he'd been looking right at you. You waiting until he left before you sighed, pulling yourself up onto the floatie so you could look up at the sky.

You didn't know what the hell was happening. He was acting like, for all intents and purposes, like you were together. And he had always been kind of touchy feeling with you, except for that week in Toronto when he kind of backed off, even more so after he'd kissed you, but you'd been assuming that was because he'd thought you didn't feel the same way.

And, yet, and yet he'd taken you on another thing that felt like a date.

And, yet, he'd held your hand for no reason at all.

And, yet, he still hadn't said anything.

And you couldn't figure out why.

You thought you were both on the same page, you thought you were making it perfectly clear, and Tyler never, ever held back.

You wondered if you were just misreading things, biased by your own feelings. Maybe he was just holding your hand because you were pregnant, or because he thought you were feeling clingy and needed to be touched.

But he initiated it. And, sure, you just had had sex before, but you'd had sex plenty of times, and he never held your hand afterwards.

You were almost positive something was there, that something had changed between the two of you, but it was like there was still something that was holding him back.

There had to be a reason. Maybe he wasn't sure or...you couldn't even think of another reason.

Maybe he didn't want a relationship, like he'd said so many times before.

But then, why even bother with the dates?

You had no idea what was going on in his head, which was unusual.

But you were gonna find out.

You'd realized the boys had gotten out of the pool, laying on the grass now, and you got out of the pool, shutting the gate so they couldn't go swimming while you went inside to pee and refill your water bottle. You also decided to look for the stuff to clean Cash's ears, not wanting to forget and have him get another ear infection. You'd just found it, next to their food in the kitchen when you heard a single bark, which sounded like Marshall.

And then both Marshall and Cash were barking incessantly, and you started rushing back outside, you were positive that you closed the gate. You looked in the pool as you opened the back door, but the gate was still closed, and the barking stopped as soon as you were there. Marshall and Cash were where you left them, looking up at you now, and...

Oh, oh no.

Gerry poked his nose through the metal fence, looking at you innocently, his face completely black with dirt.

"Gerry...." you said, walking closer to him now and then he took off, his body muddy too, the dirt combined with his body being wet, and there was a good sized hole near the fence, where he'd clearly been digging in the dirt. Marshall and Cash stayed laying down, looking at you like they'd had nothing to do with it.

Tyler was going to be pissed.

You debated going back inside to look for dog shampoo, but you weren't entirely sure where Tyler kept it, and you didn't want to leave Gerry outside again without human supervision. You couldn't do much about the hole, but you could at least rinse him off, so you grabbed the hose, but all he did was run away like it was a game you were playing. So now you were trying to chase a yellow lab who looked much more like a chocolate lab around the yard, while nearly 8 months pregnant, Cash and Marshall just watching you like they didn't want to be a part of this.

You sighed, grabbing the ear cleaner you'd brought out for Cash, sitting down next to him and keeping the hose nearby. If you couldn't clean him off out here, you'd have to wait until Tyler got home to help you hold him or carry him inside to the shower. It was kind of cute, though, so you snapped a sneaky picture, making sure he didn't get any other attention to further encourage him. You turned your attention to Cash, who had a sheepish look on his face when he saw the ear cleaner.

"I know, I'm sorry bud," you said, going for one ear, "I have to do this, though, you know." He didn't look very happy about it but he let you, laying there and shaking his head once you were done.

"Good boy," you said, patting him as you gave him one of the treats you'd grabbed and then slipped one to Marshall, too. "Gerry, you want a treat?" You enticed, holding your hand out until he got close enough for you to try and make a grab for his collar, but he slipped back out easily, running to the other side of the yard and then standing there, watching you.

You stood up, Marshall and Cash following suit. "We're just going to go over here and eat treats," you said loudly, ignoring Gerry as you sat down on the edge of the pool and dipped your feet in, sharing the dog treats between the two boys, but Gerry didn't seem to be falling for your tricks, and you had to try not to laugh every time it looked like he might get closer.

Mostly he just watched you from the yard until you heard the garage door and then the back door opened, signaling was home. Then, you saw Gerry dart around to the side of the house, where he couldn't be seen.

"Don't," you said, when you felt hands on your back, like he was going to push you into the pool, and Marshall barked at him, Tyler laughing.

"Only because you're pregnant," he said, "otherwise you'll be in. Just wait till next year."

"I'm not going outside unless I'm holding the baby then," you said, and Tyler laughed, and you made like you were going to push him in.

"Don't, it's cold," he said, "I don't know how you've been swimming."

"The dogs came in with me, it's not that cold."

"Only because they like you, they'd be inside otherwise," he retorted, petting Cash and Marshall, and then looking around. "Where's Gerry?"

You took a deep breath, "Tyler, there's something I have to tell you. Don't freak out..."

Now his eyes widened, "What did he do?"

"Tyler..."

"Gerry!" Tyler called, only nothing happened, so he called the dog again, and Tyler nudged you, "you call him. He'll come if you call him."

So you begrudgingly did, hearing Gerry's collar jingle as he ran, and then he saw the both of you, and starting slinking towards you, not engaging in eye contact with Tyler.

"Where did he dig," Tyler sighed, and you pointed, watching him walk over the the hole, kicking at it with his shoe. Gerry tried to slide in behind you, but you stood up, trying to get away from all the mud he was leaving everywhere.

"I'm sorry," you said, sliding in next to him to look at the hole.

"What? It's not your fault my dog is a maniac," he said.

"I left them outside by themselves."

"Well, they were wet and they shouldn't need to be supervised every single second of the day," Tyler said the last part very directly to Gerry and then he pulled out his phone, "If I take the dogs to the groomer, can you pick them up before you come to the game? They'll be good for you."

"Apparently not," you said, looking at Gerry, who has sitting down now, looking at you both.

"It was only because you went inside," Tyler said, kicking at dirt, "he was probably just trying to get to you."

You ran your hand over your face.

"Babe, don't worry about it, he tried to dig when I was home too, I should have told you."

"He did?"

"Yep, and he was staring at me the whole time so I knew he was doing it just to spite me."

"If you bring him inside, I can wash him," you said.

"Umm...no," Tyler said, "I've been meaning to take them all to get baths anyways."

"You don't wash them yourself?" You asked, "but you have dog shampoo..." You knew this, for a fact, because you'd given them a bath when you'd been here.

"Yeah, umm...I only have that so you can give them a bath, really," he said, "sometimes my mom, or the dog sitter will, but usually I just take them. It's easier."

"Oh my god," you said.

"You'll appreciate how easy it is, and have soft and cute they are," Tyler said, "Sorry, guys, you have to come too because your brother is a brat."

While he took the dogs, you went inside and showered all the chlorine off, curling up on with a blanket on the couch after you'd gotten dressed.

"Ooh, are we napping?" Tyler asked when he got back, sliding in next to you, and you smiled as his arm wrapped around your head, pulling you to his chest go use as a pillow. "I told them a large pregnant woman would be coming to pick them up," he said, his voice reverberating through his chest. "And you should probably crate Gerry before you come to the game."

"Mhmm," you mumbled.

"Are you listening to what I'm saying?" He laughed.

"Yeah, I'll pick them up," you responded, and he laughed a little again, his hand going to your hair, running your fingers through it until you fell asleep.

You woke later, to shifting under you and you blinked opened your eyes, hearing movement of fabric and you looked downward at Tyler's hand resting in his lap. No, no, not just

resting. Flexing. And shifting.

Oh.

Ohhhh.

"Are you...are you touching yourself?" You whispered, and Tyler jumped a little, and you could see there was a definite bulge in his shorts.

"No," he said, and you noticed that he was breathing kind of heavy. "I was just...uh...adjusting myself."

"Why is your hand still there then?" You lifted your head to look at him, because he was definately still palming himself, a blush of red on his cheeks, and he grabbed a pillow and put it over his lap, removing his hand.

"There," he said decidedly, "K, go back to sleep."

You laughed against where he'd pulled you into his chest.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny."

"Yeah, it is, I just wake up and you're touching yourself."

He sighed. "I would have left, but I didn't want to wake you up, you were sleeping."

And now you were thinking about him actually touching himself, your body instinctively moving closer to him.

"But you did wake me up."

"I was trying to make it go away, so you didn't wake up and...yeah," he said, "Can we just stop talking about it? Don't worry about it, go back to sleep."

You laughed a little, even as you snuggled into him, because it was kind of cute how embarrassed he was, like you hadn't seen his erection plenty of times before. You squeezed your legs together, waiting until he put his arm back around your shoulder, and then you slid your hand under the pillow, resting it on his thigh.

Tyler took a sharp inhale of breath. "Babe, that is not helping."

He didn't move your hand away though, so you slid it closer, leaning up to watch his face as you settled your hand right over the most sensitive part of his body, feeling it jerk under your hand.

"Babe..." he said again, but this time he had a bit more of a pleasing look on his face and you grinned, the pillow falling to the floor as you tucking your hand into his shorts, feeling his lower abs contract just before you wrapped your hand around his cock. Now, now he was lifting his hips to help you pull his shorts out of the way. You pumped him a couple of times until he has fully hard, loving the way he shut his eyes, laying his head back against the couch.

Tyler was looking at you curiously, as you pushed yourself up, getting on your knees and then leaning down, placing a kiss to the head of his cock and his thigh clenched underneath your hand. Getting bolder now, you licked a stripe up the side of his cock, your hand moving from his thigh to his balls.

"Fuck...babe...fuck..you can't.." his fingers ran over your cheek, "Oh my god," he breathed when you covered your teeth with your lips, sinking your mouth down onto him, circling the head with your tongue. You had just opened your eyes, ready to peer up at him, his hand on your cheek and then your head, and then going to your back, like he didn't know quite where to settle.

"Babe...babe, baby, oh my god, fuck, st..sh..stop, babe, you gotta stop."

You pulled back at the first 'stop' sitting back on your heels, wondering what you did wrong. He seemed to be enjoying it. And you didn't think you were crossing a line because he'd done the same to you. "What did I...?"

"Oh, no, no, babe, you're good," he leaned over, clasping the back of your head and kissing you evenly and sweetly. "It's me."

What?

But then his hand went back to the back of your head, pulling you onto his lips, kissing you deeper this time, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips until you parted them and he groaned, reaching for your shirt and them your hips, trying to pull you closer.

"Mmph.." you mumbled, pulling away from his lips, his hand trailing up the back of your dress and undoing your bra before he'd even taken your dress off, pushing it down on one side and pulling a nipple into one mouth, his other hand rubbing against your other breast, and then something kind of came into your mind. "Are you not supposed to have sex before you play?"

Tyler straight up giggled, even though you didn't see what was so funny, "Uh...yeah, I don't give a fuck about that, we're just...we're gonna have to be quicker than I want," he said, reaching out gently to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, "I mean, if you want, of course."

"I want," you answered, and then you both just looked at each other for a moment, neither one of you doing anything, until your lips just decided to meet, this time with heat, and you let yourself get lost. Tyler's hand went to your hip, pulling you onto his lap, and then his hands went back to your face, kissing you deeply, and then moving to your neck, brushing the strap of your dress off and then kissing your shoulder.

Your hands went to the bottom of his shirt, trying to pull it up. "Hmph..just let me kiss you for a sec.."

"Just let me feel your skin," you said back, and he grinned at you, peeling his shirt off, you sinking your hands onto his chest, and then he kissed you again, steadily working up more and more heat, his hand going to your messy bun, pulling at the elastic until your hair fell free, and then he kissed you some more, dress bunching around your hips, until he pulled away suddenly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he laughed under his breath. "I forgot the dogs weren't here, we're good."

You smiled against him, your lips meeting and he pushed your dress up higher now, pulling your bra out of the way and cupping his hands over your tits, and you ground your hips against him and he made an almost whimpering sound.

You steadied your hand on the couch, trying to still your hips even though the friction felt so good. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

Tyler's head tilted back against the couch. "Believe me, you are definitely not hurting me." He inhaled, hands going to your hips, "Can you get up for a sec?"

"Wha–" you asked, him helping you up, kicking his shorts the rest of the way off in the process.

"I can't take your clothes off when you're sitting on me," he explained, standing up, too, pulling your dress up and over your head, tossing it to the other side of the sectional. He grinned at you as his fingers slunk into the sides of your panties, caressing your hips. "Can I?" He asked. When you nodded, he slid them down, letting you step out of them as he ran his hand up your leg.

"I really like your ninja turtles bandaids, they're sexy."

"Thanks, I put them on just for you."

"Ooh, I feel special," he laughed, running his hand up between your legs, keeping his eyes connected on yours, and you watched as his expression changed. "Shit, you're so wet."

"I.."

"Shhh..." he said, keeping his eyes trained on you, watching your reaction as he circled your clit with his fingers, dipping a finger inside you, and you sighed, you head tilting to the side. Before you could stop yourself, your gaze drifted down to his cock, and you heard him chuckle, realizing he'd been watching you.

"You want that?" He asked, his hand moving chin to look at him. "Because I want you."

"Please," you mumbled against his lips when he kissing you, and Tyler pulled away slowly, sinking back on the couch, his cock pressed hard up against his abs.

"C'mhere."

"Here?" You asked, and he laughed, his hands going to your hips.

"Yeah, we've got no audience, why not?"

"I don't want to hurt you," you said, even as you were powerless to him pulling you towards him.

"You're not going to hurt me," he laughed lightly, settling you on his thighs, his hands going to yours as you adjusted your legs on either side of his.

"How many times have you said how big I am just today?"

"I said you're big, not heavy," he clarified, running his hands up and down your sides, keeping towards your back as he usually did now that you had a belly. "Your body just takes up space in a different way. I'm still very much into you."

Before you could even respond, he straight up buried his face in your breasts. "See?" He said, his voice muffled against your skin, "bigger. Still awesome."

You shifted closer towards him, probably leaving a trail of wetness on his legs, his hand going to your hip and helping you up, grasping his cock to move it against you, letting you sink down over him.

"Go slow, babe," he said, your hand gripping his shoulder as you eased onto him, letting out a satisfied moan as he filled. "Okay? Feel good?" He checked with you, as he always did since you'd been pregnant.

"Mhmm." You said, just stilling, his hands running all over you.

"See?" Tyler said, gesturing towards his crotch. "Bigger is awesome."

"Stop," you laughed, shifting as you did, letting out a tiny moan.

"I mean, if you want want me to stop I will," he said, making like he was going to pull you off him.

"No," you said, resting your hands on his shoulders.

"Mmokay then," he said, leaning up to kiss you, and you circled your hips, rolling back and forth over them.

"Feels so good," you got out, breathing heaving as Tyler's hands went to your hips, helping you to move up and down.

"Yeah," he echoed, "you always do."

It didn't take you long to work up a rhythm, Tyler's hands going to your breasts and then your hips, sliding a thumb along your lips like he wanted to kiss you but couldn't reach, the sound of skin on skin and heaving breathing filling the room.

"Yeah, babe, just like that," he said, his hips meeting yours now and then added, "you're close." It was a statement not a question, and his hand trailed down between you, applying pressure to your clit. You moaned, head going back, your hands staying braced on his chest as you kept moving just right,. And then all that you could focus on was letting your eyes fall shut as your body released, Tyler feeling warm all around you, groaning as he tugged your hips against his now until he spilled inside you.

You were sweaty against each other as your stroked each other's bodies, coming down, but you didn't care. You felt Tyler laugh as he kissed you.

"What's so funny?" You asked, running your fingers through his hair.

"Nothing," he answered, shaking his head. "I'm just happy."

You were still looking at him as he cleared his throat. "Are you happy?"he asked, running his fingers through your hair now.

"Yeah," you smiled. "Yeah, I'm happy."

"Good," Tyler smiled, helping you off him and then he promptly laid down on his side, pulling you with him. He was asleep in approximately two minutes, which was only kind of annoying.

Since you'd slept earlier anyways and seemed to have energy, you got up to look through the fridge to see what you could make, deciding on chicken, pesto, and pasta. You put all the ingredients for the pesto into the food processor but didn't turn it on, waiting until the last minute to wake Tyler. Once everything else was ready, you went back into the living room, leaning over him and shaking his shoulder gently. "Hey."

"Hi," he smiled sleepily, puckering his lips for you to kiss them, which you did.

"It's time to get up. I made you pasta and chicken with pesto."

"Oh," he said simply, and now you paused.

"That's what you like for your pre-game meal, right?"

"Yeah, but I usually eat at the rink."

Of course he did. You knew that.

Tyler's eyes flicked open now. "Only because I usually don't have someone here to cook for me," he said, " I'd much rather have what you made."

"You don't have to have it tonight.."

"Mm..I want to " he said, "your the best cook o know, but please don't tell my mom."

"Okay," you said, smoothing your hand over his hair, "I put spinach in the pesto."

"That sounds really gross but I'm sure it's delicious," he said, his eyes sliding shut again.

"Tyler, you got to get up."

"Five more minutes."

You signed, going back into the kitchen to turn the food processor on. That'd get him up.

**

Going to the game was incredibly awkward.

It wasn't just the fact that you were constantly banging into things with your belly, or having to go to the bathroom multiple times in one period.

No, it was the fact that no one knew you were pregnant.

It seemed, Tyler hadn't told anyone and, unless they followed his every move on social media, no one knew.

You'd had a particularly awkward encounter with Katie, who didn't seem to really react at all, and you'd assumed she'd already known. It wasnt until you hugged and brought up the fact that your belly was in the way that she'd even said anything.

Apparently she'd been told that you weren't supposed to mention a woman was pregnant unless you'd been told, even though it was blatantly obvious.

And, you realized, that you had her number. You could have told her. But you'd expected Tyler to. These were his people.

Luckily, they were winning, so the mood was light. Also, luckily, Tyler had scored twice, so you knew you hadn't messed up his pre-game routine. And, luckily, no one has asked who the father of your baby was, or if you had a boyfriend.

Afterwards, you went downstairs with Katie, pretty much falling into Tyler like he'd been looking for you, and she'd wandered off in the direction Tyler had pointed her in towards Jamie. "Good game," you'd said, and he'd smiled, moving closer towards where you were leaning against the wall, your feet feeling tired and achy.

"Thanks," he said, "you stay awake the whole time?"

"Yes," you laughed, and he smiled like he was proud of you.

"Good," he said, moving his hand to the side of your dress, picking like you had a piece of lint. "I missed you when I was out there."

"What do you mean you missed me?" You asked, " We were in the same building. I was watching."

"I know," he said, running his hand through his hair, "but I couldn't see you, or talk to you, or touch you. And I miss you. When we're apart."

You swallowed, because it wasn't like you were apart, but you got what he was saying. You missed him, too, when he was in the shower, or gone in the other room to grab a drink, or when you were truly apart, and you didn't get to hear from him.

"Do you miss me, too?" He asked, his hands going to your hips.

You nodded, unable to see anything but him, your bodies so close together, you could feel the heat coming off his lips, even before he pressed them to yours.

And then you were kissing, like it was Sunday morning and he'd just smiled at you over coffee. Easy and comfortable and leisurely, like you could just stay in this moment forever, and be okay.

A quick cough broke you out of your trance and you pulled apart, Tyler's hands dropping from you but his body staying put, like he could shield you.

"Sorry," Katie said quickly, but it was Jamie you were focused on, his eyes wide, gaze bouncing around cartoonishly between you and Tyler and your belly.

"Uh..." he said, scratching his head. "So...yeah."

"You remember Y/N," Tyler prompted.

"Oh, yeah," he said, his eyes falling to your belly again as if to point out that was not how he had remembered you. He reached out to shake your hand, and Tyler scoffed, and then hugged you awkwardly,before making some excuse about having dinner reservations.

"Sorry about that," Tyler said, turning his body towards yours again, "I got something for you."

"Oh?" You asked, noticing now that he had a hand behind his back.

"Oh, no, I wasn't talking to you, sorry."

You blushed and looked around, not seeing anyone nearby, and then Tyler laughed.

"I was talking to the baby," he said, pulling out a puck from behind his back and pressing it into your palm. "You can hold it for him, though, since he can't."

You laughed. "Well, I'm sure he says thank you."

"I know," Tyler said, "he better be, his first puck from his first hockey game."

"He was inside me when you played in Toronto."

Tyler rolled his eyes, "His first home game."

"He lives in Toronto," you said, smoothing your hand over your belly.

"I know," he said, "but his favourite team is Dallas, he told me."

"Oh, he told you, did he? How come i never hear these things he tells you?"

"You're usually sleeping," Tyler said, "speaking of, want to ride home with me? We can pick the other car up tomorrow, grab breakfast and take the dogs to the dog park or something?"

You nodded, pretty easily swayed by someone else offering to drive, especially whenit was after 7PM. Tyler turned in the direction to leave, and then you paused. "Don't you want me to see anyone else?"

"Umm...not tonight, after that," he said, "you can say hi to some of the other guys at the game on Saturday. "

You didn't say anything, following him out to his car. "Do we have avocados at home?" He asked.

"It's your house," you laughed.

"I know, but you know," he said.

"I think there are some, why?"

"I need to recreate that guacamole grilled cheese for you.

"Oh," you said, waiting until you were a few blocks away from the arena before you spoke again. "You didn't tell anyone I was pregnant."

Tyler glanced at you and then back at the road. "It's your news, not mine, babe."

"It's kind of yours, too?" You said.

"No, it's not," Tyler said, "you're his mother. You're his...everything. It's your decision who knows and who doesn't."

"But you made the decision, too," you said, "you tell people too, if you want."

"Not unless you're okay with it," he said.

"You told your family."

"Yeah, because you said it was okay," he said "I wouldn't have said anything if it wasn't alright with you. He's your kid, and you know what's best."

"I think you should be able to tell people," you said, "you made a decision, too."

Tyler swallowed. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

When you didn't say anything, he looked over at you once more, his voice softer. "Of course there's been times when I want to tell people. But it's what you want, and what you think is best for your child. It's not about me. I'm not going to make it about me."

"I want you to be able to tell who you want to tell," you said.

"Yeah?"

"Friends," you clarified, "not Instagram."

"Okay," he said, reaching over to squeeze your hand.

"I don't want it to feel like it has to be a secret, like it's a bad thing. It's not bad."

"No, no it's not bad, you're right," he said, "I just want to make sure it's what you want."

"You can tell the people you want," you reaffirmed.

"I might... I might tell some of the guys."

"I mean, if I'm coming back here next year, they might meet him," you said, and Tyler gave you an 'mhmm', "he could really look like you, it might be obvious."

"Yeah," Tyler said, "I guess I just imagined him always looking like you. I mean, I was a cute baby, so he'll be fine either way but, yeah, I hope he looks like you."

He smiled soft at you, and you realized you couldn't say back what was on your mind.

You hoped the baby looked like Tyler.


	40. Chapter 40

By the time you got home, your eyes where stinging between the effort if trying to keep them open and keep the watering at bay. You didn't talk much, not for the rest of the drive. Tyler's hand went to the small of your back as you met around the front of the car, his hand going to the small of your back as he led you inside the house.

You were greeted by two noses rather than three, and Gerry immediately began barking repeatedly from his crate.

"Chill out," Tyler said, slipping off his shoes and heading towards the living room to let him out, "you wouldn't be stuck in there if you could be trusted. Maybe if you can prove you can behave, you won't have to go in there next time."

You pet Marshall and Cash as you tugged a chair over with your foot, sitting down and trying to position your foot on your knee so you could reach the buckle on your sandals , Gerry coming flying over and jumping up and you reached down to pet him behind the ears a little.

Your ankle had slipped off where you'd had it crossed over your knee in the process, and you sighed, tugging it back on and shifting to try and reach with your belly in the way.

"You need help?" Tyler asked.

"No, I got it," you said, and he leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest as you continued to struggle.

"You sure about that?" he laughs, walking towards you now and trying to get the dogs out of the the way. "Sorry, guys, she needs help from someone with thumbs."

He knealt down, pushing your dress up, hands going to the buckle, and you noticed a red mark on his hand, by his thumb. "What happened to your hand?"

Tyler shrugged, looking down at it.

"Does it hurt?" You asked, moving your fingers out to brush the broken skin.

"Uh..no..it's fine, it happens all the time," he said and you realized that you often didn't see this side of his life, separated from it both by the physical distance, but also the distance in that you never really talked about it, or paid so much attention it, because he was just your friend. And he'd been your friend for what felt like forever, before any of this. You looked down at him, holding your foot up for him, his tongue pulled between his teeth like he was concentrating, and your realized he was struggling.

"You got it?"

"Yeah, it's just really small," he said, still working on it, "I don't think you should wear these shoes anymore. How did you even manage to get them on?"

"I don't know," you admitted, and he smiled a little, finally getting one undone, pulling your shoe off before you even could and setting it on the ground, his hand brushing over the top of your foot before he went to work on the other one, getting it much quickly this time.

"Your feet look swollen," he said, his fingers moving over your ankle before taking your other shoe off.

"Yeah, they're tired."

"You want me to rub them for you?"

"No, it's okay," you said, shaking your dress back down and then standing up, Tyler reaching for your hand like you couldn't do it yourself. He took a couple of steps back, putting his hand in his pocket.

"Well, you want to go soak in the tub for a bit while I make us some food?"

"No," you said, looking away at the floor and then up at him again, "I think I'm just going to go to bed."

"Well, you should have something to eat, babe."

"I'm really tired, Tyler," you said, your voice breaking a little with what you hoped he interpreted as weariness.

"Okay, um, I'll be up in a bit, I guess," Tyler said simply, looking at you, and then down at the dogs, "C'mon guys, you gotta go outside."

You went upstairs, grabbing your pajamas and going into the bathroom. You almost wanted to just go lie down in the guest room, but you knew he'd only ask more questions if you did that. Hearing the dogs sniffing under the closed door as you took your makeup off, having already changed and brushed your teeth, and you smiled, opening the door up just a crack, and they all pushed their way in. When you were ready, they all went ahead of you and jumped into the bed like they were waiting for you except for Marshall, who seemed glued to your side, curling up by your chest once you laid down on your side, and you lifted your head up, resting it against his furry body, tears leaking from your eyes. "You're such a good dog," you whispered, which somehow made you cry a little more.

And, you knew, you had no reason to be upset, or hurt, except you were. And you just needed a little bit of time, to let your feelings dissipate. You heard Tyler coming up the steps and knew he must be coming to change, so you rested your head down on the pillow, shutting your eyes, hoping that he'd think you'd already fallen asleep or where close to it. You could hear him move into the room quietly, making a small noise when you assumed he saw that the dogs were already cuddled up with you. You thought you were in the clear, sensing him move away from the bed, and then the movement stopped. "Babe? Are you crying?"

You blinked your eyes, only to see him looking down at you. "Why are you crying?" he asked, and you shook your head, not knowing if you wanted to answer, rather than how, and then you felt him sitting next to you, his fingers going to your belly, and then rubbing it a little, and then pressing the back of his hand to your forehead like you might have a fever, "Are you in pain?"

"No, no, I'm not in pain," you said, and he backed off your body just a little, his hand eventually falling away from you.

"Why are you crying then?" he said, his finger brushing a tear off your cheek like he needed to illustrate you were actually crying, or you'd only say you weren't.

"Sometimes it just happens," you said.

"No, when you cry for no reason, your face gets all scrunched up and you make this weird noise," he said. "What's wrong?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, Tyler."

"Well, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong, I can't read your mind." But sometimes it seemed like he could, knowing your feelings before you did, or able to tell when you were hesitating.

"It's not, really something you can help me with?" You said, and his face looked pained at just this thought. "I'm fine, I really just need to rest, I feel...I feel sensitive."

He stood up now, but still didn't really leave your side, shifting back and forth like he didn't know quite what to do. "Was Gerry being an asshole again?"

"No, he was not," you laughed a little now, reached over to pet Gerry, who has laying by your legs, and had lifted his head at the sound of his name. Tyler's hands went to his tie, already loosened, pulling it off now, and then winding it in his hands, looking rather deep in thought.

"Did something happen at the game?" He asked, and your body stiffened, "did someone something to you?"

"No, no one said anything to me," you said, rolling onto your back now, your hand going over your face. "How could they?"

"What do you mean? Nobody talked to you at all?" He was scowling now, running his hand through his hair, his open jacket swaying with the movement.

"No, they talked to me, they're not going to ignore me, but it was super awkward, Tyler, I just show up 8 months pregnant and no one had a fucking clue. It was humiliating you watched Tyler flinch as you spoke out the word 'humiliating' like you slapped him, putting everything you felt into that one word.

Tyler just stood there, looking at you, seemingly in shock. "Babe, we we talked about this in the car. It's not my...it's not my news to share. It's your news, it's your baby."

"But they're your friends," you said, half-yelling now, "you're a part of this."

"I know, but..."

"I didn't think you wanted to hide it," you said in a thick voice, like you were lashing out, and then immediately starting sobbing because that felt so unfair. Of course he didn't want to hide it - you were the one who said for him to wait awhile initially before he told his family, you were the one who seemed concerned about him posting a picture of you to his Instagram stories, you were the one who worried about hiding your belly. "I thought you were excited." That felt unfair, too, because you knew he was excited, helping you with everything, talking about you visiting him with the baby. But you had some feeling going on, you couldn't quite identify.

You sniffled, wiping at your face, trying to gather your thoughts because you didn't know how to fix this, but the next thing you knew he was swearing under his breath, taking his jacket off, and going around to his side of the bed, laying down on his side still in his dress shirt and suit pants, laying his arm over Cash who was snuggled against your back, settling his hand on your arm. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I..."

"No, I know," you sniffled, still facing away from him, looking at the dark fur in front of you.

"What do you want me to do? You want me to tell people?"

"No, I want you to want to tell people."

"What? So you want me to tell people?"

"Not if you don't want to."

Tyler huffed from behind you, "Okay, you're gonna have to be more specific, like, say exactly what you need me to do so you're not mad at me."

Now, you rolled over, facing him. He had his head propped up in his hand, like he was studying. "I'm not mad at you."

"I made you cry," he said simply.

"No, you didn't make me cry, Tyler, I'm sorry," you said. "I didn't think I would feel feel this way. I didn't know I felt this way. You didn't do anything wrong. It's me."

"Feel what way?" He asked, gently now, and you looked away and then back at him.

"I don't know, Tyler..." The last thing you wanted to do was upset him, not when he'd already given you so much, not when it wasn't his fault at all.

"Let's just talk," he said.

"I don't want to fight with you, I can't fight with you," you said. Your emotions felt frayed, like it wouldn't take much to set you off, and you didn't want to push him away, not when you only wanted him closer.

"No, no fighting," he said, his hand running up and down your arm. "Just talk to me, you know you can talk to me about anything. Even if it's about me."

You laughed a little at his last statement and he smiled at you, you rubbing your hand up and down Cash's side, trying to gather your thoughts. Tyler set him head down on the pillow, not saying anything, but just waiting until you were ready.

"I just, assumed you would want to tell your friends, I guess."

"I do," Tyler said, "I'm not hiding it, you were the one who asked if you should hide your belly before you came to the game, I don't understand why you're upset about this now?"

"Because I was thinking about you," you said, "and people seeing me with you and thinking I'm your...baby mama or something."

"I don't give a fuck what people think, you know that," he said, " and we talked about it in the car about me telling people he's....from me, and I'm going to. I thought we were cool."

"No, I didn't wish that you told people that. Just that I'm pregnant."

"Why would I tell people you're pregnant? I'm just the sperm donor. It's your pregnancy, I can't just be like, oh, my friend's having a baby."

He stopped, and then swallowed, looking at you.

"Yeah, you could," you said softly, and now he groaned, rolling over onto his back. "And you're not just the sperm donor, Tyler, you're gonna be part of his life. A big part of his life."

"Yeah," he sighed, rolling back to face you. "I guess I just thought that if I mentioned that, I might blab that I helped you, and I didn't know if you wanted people to know."

"You can tell whoever you want. It's your choice."

"It's your choice," he repeated.

"And my choice is that you can choose who you share that information with," you said, "there wasn't anything in the contract that said you couldn't reveal it to anyone, or that you couldn't refer to yourself as the genetic father. I chose not to include that clause."

"Oh," he said, "you could choose?"

"Yeah," you said, and now he scratched the back of his head.

"Oh," he said, "yeah, I didn't really read the contract."

"Tyler," you sighed, "You could have agreed to anything. I could have made you agree to where a Maple Leafs Jersey every day of next year for all you know."

"I skimmed over it," he said, "It was standard, its not like we're trying to scam each other."

"Yeah," you agreed. It had seemed like so long ago you'd both signed that piece of paper and it didn't even seem necessary, even then. You couldn't ever imagine ever needing it.

Tyler looked at you now, "You're really okay that I tell people? 100%?"

"100%," you agreed, in the same way both of you had before you had decided to do this. Together.

"Good," Tyler said, "Because I already told Rads."

"You did?" You smiled a little now.

"Yeah, I mean, he has a kid, I thought he'd get that you really wanted to have a kid. And that I really wanted to help. And I need tips for, like, how to help you when you're in labour and shit like that," Tyler said, "But, some of the guys, I don't know if they'd get this whole...thing."

"You don't have to tell everybody he's..from you, you don't have to tell anyone," you said, "it's, just, if you weren't involved in this, if I was just having a baby without you -"

"I'd probably be bragging to everyone about what a badass uncle I'm gonna be, yeah," he said, his hand going to your belly now, rubbing it back and forth, "I am very excited to be an uncle though. I just gotta make it super clear it's not from one of my sisters though. Which would be impossible, because they're both virgins."

"Well.."

"No!" Tyler said, making like he was going to cover his ears, "I'm so glad you're having a dude though. A girl would be cute, but I don't think I'm ready to have a niece. Maybe in a few years."

You swallowed, because you just realized he was offering - again, so matter-of-factly, just lying on his bed talking like it required no thought at all, like it was already in your life's forecast.

"Well, he hasn't come out yet, they could have made a mistake."

"I've seen his dick, there was no mistake. Unless your kid's got three legs."

You laughed, putting your hands over your face now, but not because you wanted to hide, but because he'd just turned your emotions around, just like that.

Like you could fix anything, if he was just there with you.

"I didn't want you to not see any of the guys, you know. Jamie, just, when he saw us....it rattled me," he said, his hand kind of going to yours, and you thought back to the kiss, "I guess, I just don't feel like we have to explain our relationship to anyone? It's nobody's business but us."

"Yeah," you echoed, even though all that was running through your mind was what relationship, and what even where you doing.

"I was just trying to protect you," he said, "All I ever want to do is protect you, and make sure you're okay."

You nodded, because you could see that in his eyes, but you didn't even know how you could possibly respond. So you just leaned over the dog laying between you, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I love you."

"I know you do."

**

The thing was, you were positive at this point that he felt the exact same way about you that you felt about him.

It couldn't be more obvious.

And yet, you hadn't taken the next step, and you thought you'd figured it out: He didn't want to be in a relationship with you when you were having a child.

It made sense, the way he never touched your belly when you were kidding or..being intimate. The way he always talked about not being ready to 'settle down".

And obviously, obviously, he didn't have anything against the baby. He made it really clear he was planning the baby to be a part of your lives.

But it felt good, to feel loved by him, to love him, but you had no idea how it might change, after the baby got here. So you were determined to soak up every little bit of it as you could.

And it seemed he was too.

Kissing each other for not reason other than the fact that you were drawn to one another, touching each other as you passed by, holding his hand when you fell asleep because the dogs were in between you so you couldn't wrap your arms around each other.

He'd even convinced you to change your flight, with the original plan being to leave Saturday evening, after his 5 o'clock game. He'd suggested, now, that you take Monday off and head home Sunday night, so that you had time to go out to dinner with him and 'some of the team' after the game. You'd agreed, of course.

The problem was, it was Friday, his day off, and you should be enjoying your time together, but you felt extremely pregnant.

When Tyler saw you rubbing at your neck, he suggested that you take a bath, with one of the bath bombs he'd bought that usually seemed to help your headaches.

So now, logically, he was lighting candles in the bathroom, the tub already filling at the the perfect not-too-hot temperature. You were going to grab a bath bomb out of the bag before you got out of your pyjamas, noticing lsomething blue at the bottom now that you had already used a couple since you'd been here.

"What is this?" You asked with a laugh, holding up the robot shaped item. "Is this a manly bath bomb?"

"No," Tyler rolled his eyes, "it's for babies, it's supposed to help them sleep, I thought your kid might like it."

And your heart melted, even more, knowing that he'd seen it, and just picked it up.

"I hope it helps in case he starts crying all when you guys come visit me," Tyler said, setting the lighter to the side now, and then immediately pulling his shirt over his head, and then going to work on his pants.

"What are you doing?" You said, in a little bit of alarm. You weren't used to him just shocking him clothes off in front of you, even though he'd gotten changed in front of you several times.

"Taking my clothes off because you're not supposed to leave them on in the bath," he said.

"But I thought the bath was for me?"

"It is," he said, bending over now, right in front of you to pick his pants up off the floor. Wow. Okay. "You and me. It's good for the environment, and I get to try one of these bath bombs you talk so much about. You need help getting out of your clothes?"

"No," you said, slowly working on undoing the buttons on your pj top.

"You have a problem with me getting in the bath with you?"

"No," you said, because of course you didn't. "I just don't think we'll both fit."

"We'll fit," Tyler laughed, walking over to dim the lights and shooting the dogs out of the bathroom, "We need to relax, and if you guys stay in here too long you're getting another bath." He shut the door and then climbed in the tub, looking rather comfortable, shifting back and forth. "It's kind of cold."

"It can't be too hot, for the baby," you said, and Tyler nodded, extending his hand so you could step in.

Once you were seated between his legs, which seemed to be the only way you would fit, he wrapped his arms around you. "So much warmer now."

You smiled, reaching for the bath bomb.

"I've never had a bath bomb before," Tyler said, and you laughed.

"Do you want to put it in?"

"Okay," he said, taking it from your extended hand. "Do I just drop it in?"

"Yes," you laughed, watching as he held it up as high as him arm could extend, dropping it in the water, and you wiped your eye, having been splashed in the face.

"Ooh, it tickles," Tyler said as it started to fizz, and you laughed against him, as he started to run his hands through the water. "It's so soft, though. Should we do another one? Since there's two of us?"

"No."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because the rest of them are on the counter and I don't want to get up right now."

"Oh, okay," he relented, and you felt him relax behind you, his hands going to your shoulders, rubbing them, and you let your head sink back against him, his touch letting your body come down, and you shut your eyes, sighing happily.

"You're the best."

"I know," he responded.

It was crazy romantic, you realized, sitting in the warm water with him, the scent of lavender and lemon surrounding you, the light soft, and all you had to do was enjoy his touch.

Eventually, though, you felt him smirk against you as his hands drifted around to your front, cupping your breasts.

"What are you doing, Tyler?"

"Supporting you," he responded, "they look heavy. You're welcome."

He was straightup caressing your breasts, playing with your nipples like it was a way to keep himself content, rather than racing to some sexual finish line. Flicking, and then rubbing, swirling his finger around your areola, brushing his fingers across the sensitive skin along and underneath your boobs.

The problem was, you were so sensitive that it was sending all of his touch straight to your core, which was feeling empty without him.

"Tyler," you said, and he only murmured against you, "Tyler, we have to get out of the tub."

"Why?" He asked, sliding his hand up the crease where your legs were squeezed tightly together. "What's going on here?"

"Tyler," you whisper-yelled, and he chuckled behind you.

"Don't worry, I gotcha," he said, one hand going to your hip and the other to your hand to help you out of the tub. You kept you hand in is as he climbed out, spinning towards him and then switching hands.

"Mmm..hi."

"Hi," you smiled, his palm cupping your jaw as he kissed you, sucking on your lip a little. Your back pressed against the counter, sighing as Tyler's lips left yours, his hands going behind you.

"Candles," he explained, hearing him push them out of the way, moving his lips back to yours, and you found yourself gripping his shoulders, his hands making their way to your back.

His hand slowly snuck between your legs, sliding over your center, circling your ckit just a couple of times before he slipped a finger into your throbbing cunt.

"Tyler," you said, against his shoulder as he added another finger, circling it inside you, and you tried to reach both for his wrist and his cock.

"No foreplay?"

"You rubbed my tits for like 15 minutes."

"So?"

"They're sensitive," you said.

"So you were getting turned on the whole time? Hmm.." he said, kissing you once more and then his hands went to your hips, turning you around to face the counter. "Ooh, a mirror," he said, his hands rubbing over your back and you leaned forward onto the counter. "If you're ready, I'm ready."

"Yeah," you said, "I mean we can...more later."

He laughed a little, and you realized you were both still wet, dripping water everywhere, but you didn't care as gripped your hips, your eyes connected as he pushed inside you.

"I'm good," you said, as soon as he bottomed out, because you didn't want him to stop. You never wanted him to stop.

He set up a slow, but steady and deep pace, your hands braced against the counter, the mirror making it seem like there were double the candles. But it had other advantages too, like the fact that your eyes were connected in the reflection, and you took the time to appreciate every little change in his face, the sliding is eyes, the relaxed look on his face, the way his mouth moved as he breathed, swearing under his breath.

You wished you could kiss him in the mirror, too, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him while he was inside you, as you had before, but you were so pregnant now it just didn't work. You figured it'd be different now, better that you were aware of your feelings. You hoped you'd get to experience it, just once.

Tyler's hands were roaming, smoothing over your back and your hips, rubbing over your ass, gripping your hips, holding you tit so it swayed in his hands. He leaned over you, filling you with even more warmth, his lips settling on your neck, his hand covering yours on the counter.

You were so in tune with each other's bodies that his fingers found your clit right when you needed it, soaring over the edge almost simultaneously. He pulled out of you quickly, which was a bit of a disappointment, but he spun you around quickly, kissing you desperately, his fingers tangling in your hair, and all was forgiven.

It was, by far, the dreamiest, most picturesque sexual encounter you'd ever had in a bathroom. Or anywhere, for that matter.

And there was no one you wanted to share it with but him.


	41. Chapter 41

You thought you had a pretty good understanding of Tyler. You were pretty sure you could knew what he was thinking, but he was being weird.

Incredibly weird.

"What are you wearing tonight?" he asked, while you were in the pool. Again.

"Why does it matter what I wear to your hockey game?"

"It doesn't matter," he said, emphasizing the word, sitting down on the lounge chair you'd be in earlier, flipping through the magazine you'd left. "I was just wondering."

"Well, I don't know, Tyler, I haven't decided yet."

Now he looked up from the parenting magazine he'd been flipping through just for something to do, clearly not reading it. "Can you wear the blue dress? The one you wore when we went to the park?"

"Sure," you said hesitantly, "but why am I wearing that?"

"Because I like it," he said, matter-of-factly, "And we're going out for dinner after, remember?"

"Yeah, well I was going to put something on other than this," you said, gesturing down towards your body in the water.

Tyler smirked at yohau. "I'd hope so, because your nipple is showing again."

You looked down automatically, only to see that were breasts were as contained in the swimsuit as they could possibly be, Tyler's laughter ringing out through the backyard, and the dogs all looked over at the loud noise. "That's not funny."

"It's pretty funny," he said, "This is actually what I should put on my Instagram."

"Don't you dare," you said, as soon as he made a move like he was going to pull his phone out.

"I wouldn't," he said rather seriously, and then smiled, "In fact, I'd suggest you just lose the bikini all together, but I don't want your lady bits to get burnt."

"Thanks," you said sarcastically, occupied yourself with throwing the ball for the dogs again.

"You're welcome, I'm just always looking out for you, you know," he said, and you swam over to the side, thinking you should probably get out soon, before you turned into a complete prune. "Do we have any of that pasta you made me left that I could have for lunch?"

"No, but I can make you some more, if you want?"

"Really?" he asked hopefully, running his hand over his beard, "Because I really think it helped me play better."

You laughed, because you were certain that it absolutely did not. "Yeah, I just need to cook some more pasta and make some pesto, it'll take me, like, 15 minutes."

"Good," Tyler said, "I need to do everything like I did last game."

"Since when are you so superstitious?"

"I'm not, it's an earlier game, it's different."

It turns out, it was different, because you now had to have pre-game in his bedroom rather on the couch, which turned into moving into the bathroom so you had another door to close between you and the dogs crying at the bedroom door.

However, his strategy of repeating everything seemed to have worked, because they one again, a fact which he was quick to point out to you when you say him after the game. And, you smiled because you were supposed to but, deep down, you felt a little disappointed and guilty for feeling that way. Because every win meant they were one step closer to the playoffs, which meant he was moving one step further from being home and getting to be there when the baby arrived. And you realized you really, really wanted him to be with when the baby was born, not even because of what a special moment it would be, but because everything seemed easier when he was there.

"You wore the dress," he said, smiling down at you.

"Yeah, you said to," you were surprised he was even pointing it out, especially when you'd have to ask him to put your sandals on for you before he left, otherwise you were pretty sure you were going to be showing up in flip flops.

"Well, you don't always do what I say," he said, sticking his hand in his pocket, like he didn't know what to do with it.

"Well, you were making me nervous," you said.

"Why was I making you nervous?" Tyler asked with a curious look.

"Because you made me think we were going somewhere fancy and I didn't bring fancy clothes," you said, "or heels. I don't even have fancy clothes that fit at home."

"Yeah, you should definately not wear heels with how your feet looked the other day. And you're fine, we're just going to sixty nines. I just wanted you to wear something comfortable."

"I'm sorry, what?" You asked.

"It's not super fancy, you look great."

"No, no, no, where are you taking me?"

"It's a restaurant, they've got like local wine and food pairings, you'll like it," he said, "And don't worry about the wine, I'll drink twice as much, just for you."

"Oh, Sixty Vines."

"Yeah," Tyler said, and then he smirked at you. "What did you think I said?"

"Nothing," you said, shaking your head quickly.

"What did you think I said?" He repeated, letting you know he wasn't going to let this go.

"Sixty nines," you said quietly, and Tyler grinned at you.

"I mean, if that's what you want, we can go home first and I'll tell everyone we're gonna be late."

"Tyler!"

"What?" He asked, scratching his head innocently, but you could see a smile breaking thorough. "You're the one who had the idea, not me. Don't blame me for your dirty mind."

"I misheard you, it was loud in there."

Now he broke and laughed, reached around your hip to your low back. "C'mon, let's go."

He walked with you like that to the car, until he jogged ahead to open the door for you, and then handed you the seatbelt once your were seated, before he shut the door. And then, once he started driving, he kept glancing over at you what seemed like every five seconds.

"You're being kinda weird," you commented.

"Um, you're being weird."

"I'm not even doing anything," you laughed.

"Neither was I," Tyler said.

You kept looking at him, and now he was kind of tapping on the steering wheel, even though the music was on so quiet that you could barely hear it. "You're not nervous, are you?" you asked, and Tyler choked out a laugh.

"No? Why would I be nervous?"

"I don't know, I might do something to embarrass you," you said jokingly, only because you couldn't ask what you were thinking: that he might be nervous about being seen having dinner with you in public with your giant belly, or that he was worried about how you were going to interact with his teammates. Which was kind of ridiculous, really, when he was the one who had suggested that you all go out to dinner. But it felt all kind of different now, that you were in his world and not home, when you hadn't thought twice about going out with him in Toronto.

But you also knew, now, that he'd told some of the guys about your...situation, and you wondered if he was worried about how they'd act around you, now that they knew.

"I can't think of a single thing you would do that would embarrass me," he said, and it felt really quiet in that car, all at once, the sound of other cars passing by fading away into the background.

You were silent for a moment, just looking out the window. "Who all is coming?"

"Umm...Jamie and Katie, Rads, Spezz, Val, Klinger, maybe some other guys. And some other girlfriends and wives."

"That's a lot of people."

"You've met, like, all of them before," Tyler said, "And I'm gonna be there, too, and you really know me."

"Some of us usually go out to dinner after an earlier game," he continued, "Or if it's someone's birthday or whatever, or when people have friends in town, or whatever."

You couldn't figure out why he was trying to make such a point to you that this was a normal thing. He continued being weird, even when you got to the restaurant and he insisted that you give him your phone so he could take a picture of you in front of the restaurant because apparently that dress accentuated your belly and you needed it "for your memories".

And then he took your hand, holding open the door for you both, dropping it after you'd taken a few steps inside, his hand going to your back instead, turning you in a direction, and then you realized that everyone was already sitting in this greenhouse-looking room, which was quite beautiful, actually, with plants hanging down and lights strung, and you could even see the stars if you looked up, but your eyes were pretty much immediately drawn to the collection of gift bags and packages sitting on one of the tables, which were very clearly baby-related, and you stopped right in your tracks.

"What is this?" You whispered to Tyler.

"We're celebrating your baby," he grinned at you now.

"What?" You asked, "You're....having a baby shower for me?"

"Well, it's not like a real baby shower, it's not gonna be as great as what Nicole and Danielle are doing for you, obviously," he said, "this is just some friends, being excited for you and having dinner."

"Well, you didn't have to get me gifts," you said, meaning it, even though you were feeling super touched that the baby was being thought of.

"Well, I didn't get you anything," Tyler said, reaching out his hand to run over your belly, "just this."

"You already gave me a gift for the baby."

"I know," Tyler said.

"Oh, you guys are here," a voice said from behind you, and you turned to see John Klingberg coming in behind you. "You're matching."

And you looked at yourself, and then at Tyler, finally realizing he was wearing a tie that was a very similar colour to your blue dress.

"Oh, so we are," Tyler said, like it was a mere coincidence, "I left before she got dressed, she must gave copied me."

You looked up at him, confused because you still couldn't figure out why he was so preoccupied with what you were wearing, not until after you'd hugged everyone hello and he asked for someone to take your picture together that you assumed he'd really just wanted you to complement each other, probably knowing that this was going to be a picture you'd saved, and was the only picture you'd had of the two of you together, now that you were pregnant.

"Let's open presents," Tyler said after the appetizers had arrived and you had a cheese and olive plate, which was really all you needed. He'd picked a bag off the table and tried to settle it down on your lap, dragging a chair over from another table and wedging it between where you were sitting at the head of the table and Katie who was sitting to your right, Jamie across from her.

Katie looked at Tyler a little weird when he just pushed his way in, but slid her chair over a little to accommodate him. "They're from all of us," she told you, and you recognized that they'd barely had any time to put this together at all, which kind of made it even more significant. Everyone was nodding at you to open it, so you pulled the tissue out, taking out a whale shaped inflatable mat filled with water and various sea creatures that the baby could push on. You did just that, moving a starfish around. "This is so cool " you said.

After that, the gifts kept coming, a little pair of blue boat shoes, which Tyler said would be perfect for when he goes yachting but you thought were extremely cute and he did agree, a little stuffed canoe that had three stuffed woodland creatures inside that had rattles, a little grey sweatshirt with a shark fin on top of the hood and teeth around the edge that apparently Rads had picked out, and a grey and white Chevron printed cover that Spezza's wife, Jennifer, had said she'd loved because you could use it as a car seat cover, a nursing cover, and a shopping cart seat cover. And Tyler kept feeding you forkfuls of cheese and olives and crackers as you opened presents, which was a little excessive, but you were hungry.

"That one's for you," Katie said, when Tyler had picked up the next one for you.

"For me?" Tyler asked, "Why?"

"Well, it's for your house," she said, "For the baby, too, a Uncle gift."

Tyler looked sort of tentative, but you watched as he unwrapped it, first pulling out a baby pool float that looked like a fish with a cover so the baby would be protected from the sun, and then he help up a pair of adult swim trunks that were a bright jade green with blue pineapples all over them, and he looked as perplexed as you felt until he held up matching swim shorts in a much, much smaller size.

And then you felt your eyes fill up with tears and your heart swell at the thought of just how cute that would be.

You actually might die.

"Did you see this?" Tyler asked, as if you weren't sitting right there with him. "You've got those matching pyjamas my mom got you for Christmas and now the baby can match me, too. We're gonna pick up so many babes at the pool."

"Yeah, I saw," you said, inconspicuously wiping your eyes before you actually started crying.

You opened the last one, a soft little hockey stick and ball along with a board book called "Z for Zamboni", which you supposed had to be expected.

"The baby can read that to Segs," someone yelled out from the end of the table, which prompted Tyler to actually read the title as if to prove he could read, after he had made the point that Honka was the one who couldn't read.

"Zed," you said, "Zed for Zamboni."

"That's what I said," Tyler said.

"No, you said Zee. It's Zed, you're Canadian."

"We're in America."

"So you change your English depending on what country you're in?"

"Yes, yes, I do, actually," Tyler said, quite proudly, whereas you tried not to snort and made a mental note to call him out on it the next time he uses American English while in Canada.

After you had thanked everyone, the table had mostly split up into conversations, the attention no longer centered on you, and Jamie nodded towards the hockey stick. "Hopefully he gets some of his Dad's skill," he said, and then seemed to realize what he said, "uh.. not Dad, no. Father? No, no, I mean, like the genes. I'm sorry."

You glanced at Tyler, who seemed amused at the way Jamie was stumbling over his words, and looking completely uncomfortable.

"That's okay," you said easily.

"Yep," Tyler agreed, taking the stick off the table, and adding it to the table of gifts behind you. "Besides, he's gonna be a golfer, pretty sure he was conceived at Top Golf."

Your eyes immediately widened and you wanted to cover your face with your hands. Luckily, the only people who seemed to be within earshot of hearing him was Jamie, Katie, and Rads, and Jamie and Katie had already caught you kissing.

"I'm sorry, what?" Katie asked, more our of shock that genuine curiosity.

"Yeah," Tyler said, grabbing more food and chewing it, doing a very good job at making it seem like he hasn't rattled, "We went there after one of the times she got my stuff shot up into her, and I'm pretty sure the baby waited until we got there to crawl up into her uterus or whatever."

Well then.

Rads made this weird noise between a cough and a laugh, and the three of you looked over at him. "Well, if the baby needs a really good jersey, I know a good number."

"That's great," Tyler said, "I'm sure she could use more diapers."

After that, the weirdness disappeared and the conversation went back to normal, and you excused yourself after a few minutes to go to the washroom and, when you came out, Tyler was waiting for you, hands in his pockets

"What are you doing here?"

"I just came to check on you," he said.

"Well, I didn't get stuck," you said, and he laughed.

"Nah, I meant with in there," he said, nodding towards the room you'd been dining in. "Was it too much?"

"Yes," you said, because you didn't need to be showered with gifts, "but I really, really appreciate it though, thank you."

He didn't respond, just smiled softly, resting his hands on your hips, "I just wanted to make sure you and him felt loved."

"I do," you said, "we do."

"Good," Tyler said, removing his hands to place a kiss on your forehead. "You want to share a pizza with me?"

"I would love to share a pizza with you."

**

You didn't want to get out of bed.

Mainly, because you knew once you did, the day would officially be started, and that mean you would have to leave to go home. It didn't matter that you'd already spend all morning curled up in bed with the dogs watching Grey's Anatomy with Tyler and eating pancakes. Tyler now, was, for some reason, finishing packing your suitcase for you, while you were laying on your side watching him, eating these lemonade Sour Patch Kids he'd grabbed for you when he was getting you gummy bears that you were now mildly obsessed with.

"You want to leave the pool float thing for him here?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, sure," you agreed.

"But what if he wants to go swimming in the lake during the summer?"

"Well, pack it then," you said, which Tyler tried to do, but there was really no space.

"I'll bring it with me when we come home for the summer," he said.

"Okay," you smiled, "could you pass me my belly butter, please? It's on the counter in the bathroom."

"Yeah, sure," Tyler smiled. One thing you'd really realized is that he seemed to really like doing the smallest little things for you while you were pregnant, you just had to ask. He was reading it as he came back with it, and you pulled up your shirt, him handing it over to you slowly. "You know, you'd still be beautiful with stretch marks."

"Tyler..." you said, trying to occupy yourself with applying it to your belly, "You can't just ...say stuff like that." You can't just say stuff like that and make my entire being feel as warm all at once or make me my heart melt again and again without being all in.

"Why not?" He said, flopping on the bed, causing Cash to raise his head and give Tyler an annoyed look. "It's the truth."

He was straight up eyeing the stretch marks you were applying the treatment too. "It's not the stretch marks so much, but my belly gets really itchy and this helps."

"Why is your belly itchy?"

"Because the skin's stretching," you said, and Tyler gave you a look like this sounded awful to him, but you were preoccupied by a tongue lapping at your skin.

"No, Gerry, don't lick that," Tyler said, pulling him off, the baby moving against Gerry's snout and he jumped back, staring at it, raising his leg like he was about to paw at the source of the movement, but Marshall slid in between him and you, like you were off limits to Gerry now.

"You guys," Tyler whined, pushing past the dogs to rest his head on your belly. "This stuff smells so good, I don't blame him for wanting to eat it."

"I know," you said.

"I'm gonna miss it when you're not pregnant anymore, I think it helps me sleep," he said. "Are you still gonna use it after? Cause the package says you can use it on your titties and I think that sounds like fun."

"You're ridiculous."

"What?" Tyler said innocently, "I'm just saying I like the way you smell, that's a nice thing."

"Mmm..." you said, eating another piece of your candy, watching with amusement as Marshall lifted his body up from where he was in front of you, effectively moving Tyler away from you.

"Wow, okay, I'm not allowed to touch her now, dude?" Tyler said, turning over onto his back, "Am I allowed to stay in bed with you guys, or do I need to go watch you be all comfy from a chair? By myself?"

"They'd probably like it if you went and sat in a chair."

"Yeah, you're right," Tyler chuckled, and then he actually got out of bed and went to sit in the armchair across the room, looking slightly put out when none of the dogs even flinched at his absence. "You guys should get out of bed, we should do something."

"Why?" You whined, stretching out your limbs, and Tyler laughed.

"Because these guys need exercise, and you need lunch," he said, "Wanna take them to the part and get something to eat while we're there and they're playing? I think you'd really like it."

You looked at your phone and discovered, much to your disappointment, that time was still passing even as you were laying in bed, so you took the hand that he held out for you, getting up.

You were still slightly put out until you got to the park and Tyler took you over to this food truck called Ruthie's Rolling Cafe and watched your reaction as you noticed that they were solely dedicated to gourmet grilled cheeses.

You may have actually made a whimpering noise.

And you were very happy to see that they had one with mustard and pickles with pulled pork and smoked ham, plus Tyler kept sharing bites of his with you as the dogs kept running around and playing and then coming back to the picnic table you were both sitting at.

"This is magical," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"Better than mine?" He asked, and you didn't want to actually say yes, but your lack of response said everything. "But I use a secret ingredient in mine."

"What?" You asked, expecting him to say something cheesy like 'love'.

"I'm not telling you, it's a secret," he said decidedly, "But it's not really an ingredient, more just knowing the proper ratio of ingredients and knowing just when to flip the bread. It can't be taught, either you have it or you don't, it's really an art form."

You snickered.

"Yeah, and it really, really hurt my feelings every time you put mustard all over my masterpiece."

"Well, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, some people don't quite appreciate it like they should," he said, watching you very much enjoy your sandwich. "Are we gonna have to get a few extras for you to hide in your suitcase?"

And just like that, you remembered you had to leave, and you took a deep breath, looking away from Tyler to the dogs who were off playing, wishing that one of them was right next to you for you to pet, to get your mind off this.

"Hey, don't be sad," Tyler said, "we'll be home for the summer in no time."

"I know," you said, but you also realized that you'd have a child by then, and everything would be forever changed. It was the last time it was going to just the five of you, and you were determined to soak up every moment of it as you could, playing with the dogs at the park with Tyler, until there was no choice but to go and get your bags for you to go to the airport.

"I'm probably going to really regret bringing them with us, 'cause they're gonna go crazy when you leave, " Tyler said, nodding to the dogs who were panting in the backseat. You were pretty sure it was only Marshall who noticed the suitcase, because he kept trying to push his head between the passenger seat and the car door to get to you. "But I didn't want to keep them from you for any longer than they had to be."

You blinked, trying like hell to keep your eyes focused on the road.

"Oh, babe, don't cry," Tyler said, taking one hand of the wheel to pat your knee.

"I can't help it," you said, a tear running down your face now.

"Well, stop because you're gonna make me cry."

You sighed,

your cheek and looking out the window. "Why'd you have to say that, now I'm thinking about the dogs being sad." You were rubbing Marshall on the snout, since he was the only one you could reach.

"They'll be okay, they deal with missing you every year."

"Tyler," you cried.

"What?"

"You're making it worse."

"You can come visit us anytime you want, you know that. I won't even get upset if your baby cries all night."

"No, I can't, because I'm going to be too pregnant to fly," you were actually straight up crying now, and this was turning into how you were when they first left for the season.

"Well, you could just stay at my house." He was clearly joking, but your emotions were rattled.

"I'm not having the baby in a different country," you said, because that suddenly seemed like the worst idea ever, "and I'm not flying back out here with a newborn."

By now the dogs were trying to climb up to you because you were crying.

"Hey, calm down," Tyler said, "Just relax for a sec, hang back on the hormonal crying until I'm actually parked and can deal with you."

"I'm not hormonal crying," you said, inhaling quickly and coughing out a laugh, to which Tyler just raised his eyebrows and gave you a doubtful look. "I'm actually sad."

"I know you're actually sad, but this level of crying is not normal for you. Like, I was just joking about you staying here, and you're crying like I was suggesting that I hold you hostage and make you have your baby in a completely foreign country."

Okay, so maybe you had overreacted a little.

"I packed you some candy in your purse, want to eat some of it now?"

"You packed me candy?"

"Yeah, those lemonade sour patch kids, you like," he said. "You want some of them?"

"No, I want to save them," you said.

"I packed you almonds, too, so you have real snacks," Tyler said, and you made a face like this didn't interest you at all, and he laughed, "They're chocolate covered, because I feel like you'd eat them if they were disguised with sugar. And there are potato chips, too, so don't throw your bag down unless you want them smushed."

No wonder your purse looked so much fuller. "You're the best."

"I know," Tyler smiled, and you sighed audibly, and he just looked over at you. "It's only gonna be a month, you know? And we get there the day before, so we can actually see each other, not like last time."

"Yeah," you said, even though you knew for a fact that it was not a month, it was closer to 5 weeks. You'd counted. And you were honestly seeing him more often this year than you did every other year, not going for more than 4 weeks without being apart, like it was a rule you'd establish.

"I've only been gone for a month all the other times this year, and it's been okay, you weren't this upset," he said, "Except for the first time, but.."

"Well, it's different this time," you said. Because you were completely in love with him. Because you were super pregnant and just wanted him with you all the time. Because you just wanted him to come home with you forever. Or if you could magically just uproot your house and move it to Dallas along with your family and your doctor, then maybe you'd just have the baby right there.

"Yeah, because you're hormonal," Tyler said, and you shot him a look. "It's okay, it's kind of cute when you're crying about stuff that I can actually fix."

"Yeah," you breathed.

"There's people who are gonna take care of you at home, too, you'll be fine," Tyler said, "And you'll get to see me before you know it, and then we'll all come home for summer, and you'll probably be so busy taking care of the baby you'll forget about the dogs."

"I will not forget about the dogs," you said decidedly and Tyler smiled, and you knew that was the reaction he was going for. Pretty much all you wanted to do was hold the baby and cuddle with the dogs surrounding you all summer. It sounded perfect.

Tyler parked at the airport, and he moved his head towards the backseat, "Get in there and love on them."

You tried to, getting out of the car and opening the backseat, but there was way too much of both them and you.

"If you can fit," Tyler said, making a clicking noise with his tongue to let the dogs know they could come out, and you bent down to say goodbye to them. "The next time you see her, that thing's gonna be out of her."

You laughed, and it seemed like it was going to happen so soon now and, yet, you knew it was awhile away yet. But it was closer than it had ever been. "It's gonna be weird not to be pregnant," you said.

"It's gonna be weird to see how you could possibly get any bigger," Tyler said, and you just scowled at him, giving attention to the dogs, because you had to kiss all of them on the tops of the head and say just how much you loved them. "They're never gonna get back in the car now, you're gonna have to tell them," he said, after he'd gotten your suitcase out of the car. And so you did, and then you had to shut the door in their faces and they looked so absolutely betrayed that you started to cry again.

"I'm sorry," you said.

"C'mon," Tyler said, taking your hand, "I'll walk in with you, they'll be okay."

"They're gonna hate me."

"No, they're not going to hate you," he laughed, "They're gonna hate me. Just think how excited they're gonna be to see you. And I'll send you lots of pictures and videos, 'k?"

"Okay," you said, concentrating on all the things you had to do before the baby got here still. And partially hoping that the Stars wouldn't make the playoffs so he could get home to you sooner.

"Call me when you get home, okay, please?" he asked, turning to face you now that you had to leave to go through security.

"Okay," you said, not even waiting before you launched yourself into his arms for a hug, and Tyler stumbled backwards a bit at the force of it, laughing as he put his arms around you, and you rested your head against the cotton of his t-shirt.

"You're crying again, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yeah," you said, and his just went to your head, cradling it for a moment before he stepped back.

"I really don't like it when you cry," he said softly, and you noticed his eyes rimmed red, and he turned his hat around as if that would help.

"I'm sorry. I'm just going to miss you."

"Don't apologize, I'm happy you're going to miss me," he said, pulling you back into his arms, "I'm gonna miss you, too."

You stayed there for a moment, feeling his heartbeat steady under you.

"I'll call you lots, okay?" he promised, "Until you're so sick of me you don't even want to see my face."

"Okay," you laughed.

"I'm really glad you came," he said, his hands moving to your waist, and he reached out, adjusting the fabric of your dress over your bump. "You, too, blob. Hopefully the next time you're in Dallas you're actually be able to see stuff."

"You're glad I came?" you said, "I should be thanking you, it was, it was just what I needed."

"Good," Tyler smiled, and you both snuck a look at his watch at the same time. "I'll talk to you soon, okay? I love you."

"I love you, too," you said, and Tyler did this weird thing where he smiled twice, like he had a twitchy lip, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face, and then you were drawn together, the movement and noise of the airport continuing on around you, but all you could focus on was his lips pressed evenly against yours not doing anything, just being there. You didn't care who was watching or what they might be thinking. And you wanted to stay there forever, even though you knew you couldn't. That it had to be goodbye for now.

But neither of you seemed to want to be the first to pull away, breathing against each other, until you heard the time announced and realized you couldn't stay any longer. You both seemed to realize this and pulled away at the same moment, looked at each other and then he kissed you again just once, just quickly before he handed you your suitcase and you walked away, like he needed to finish it properly.


	42. Chapter 42

Your house wasn't very big by any means. It was cozy and comfortable for you.

But, even though it was much smaller than Tyler's Dallas home, it felt way too empty and open now.

After you'd gotten home last night, you'd pretty much spent the whole night on the phone and then on Facetime with Tyler and the dogs, which mostly consisted of the two of you trying to watch a show, and Tyler having to stop and ask you to tell Gerry to stop ripping the stuffing out of one of his toys, and gently encourage Cash to stop moping.

Today, however, since you'd taken of work, you pretty much begged Danielle to come over after work. Tyler was travelling for a game, so you couldn't talk to him and, yet, you were talking about him.

Of course.

"So you slept with him, then?"

"Yeah, we shared a bed. Him, me, and the dogs."

Danielle rolled her eyes at you. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah," you sighed, your hand going to the back of your neck, trying to keep the smile from curling up across your face.

"Just once?"

"No...uh...four times?"

"Four times? You were only there for a week!" She said.

"Well, we hadn't seen each other in awhile."

"Mhmm.." she said, and you could tell just what she was sinking but wouldn't say: that friends didn't typically have sex with each other, no matter how long they'd been apart. But it wasn't even like you were friends anymore, you were more than friends, everything indicated you were more than friends, and yet you weren't even all the way there. But it still felt like more than some people might ever get to experience in their lifetimes, like you were the only ones who knew this. "Did you even do anything else?"

"Yes, I told you," you said. Because, obviously, you'd had to show her all the cute gifts you'd received for the baby at the dinner. "And we took the dogs, to the park, like I said, and had a picnic."

"You had a picnic? Like Tyler packed a picnic?" She asked, and you nodded. "What kind of picnic? Like he actually made stuff?"

"Well, he got, like, hummus and cheese and stuff."

"He made you a wine and cheese picnic?" she said, almost gasping.

"Not wine, because.." you gestured at your belly, "but...yeah." Your voice took on this almost dreamy quality, and you were almost surprised, except you knew exactly how you felt. And it did kind of feel like you were in a dream.

"Oh my god," Danielle said breathlessly. "Did he say it was a date? He straight-up took you on a date."

"He said the dogs wanted to take me on a date."

"He said the dogs wanted to take you on a date," she repeated. "And you bought this?"

"No, I did not think his dogs packed me a picnic, do you think I'm stupid?"

"Well..." she said, and you laughed, pulling your hair over your face.

"He took me to the aquarium, too."

"What? Since when Tyler get so cute?"

"I don't know," you said. But he kind of always been, all the way back to tenth grade when he'd buy you only your favourite kind of candy to thank you for doing his homework for him, or when he'd walk you home if it was dark out. It just didn't typically require so much planning ahead or secrecy, like thinking to hide snacks in your purse for your flight home or thinking about how you might spend your time together rather than just 'hanging out'.

"Was this before or after the sex?"

"The picnic was before, the aquarium was after," you said, "But we were planning to go before just...stuff happened."

"Uh-huh."

"I cut my leg in the shower, and he was helping me."

"Helping you by giving you an orgasm?"

"It was a really bad cut," you tried.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"What? Sleeping with Tyler?"

"Yeah," she said.

"I was sleeping with him before and you didn't have a problem with that."

"Yeah, but that was before you realized you were in love with him." The thing was, though, you really couldn't ever remember not being in love with him. You barely even remembered being a kid and not knowing him. It seemed like a different person back then, like you were outside of your body, watching yourself run around as a kid with the knowledge of what your life would become.

"So?" You asked.

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Tyler's not gonna hurt me," you said, and Danielle's face softened.

"No, I know he's not going to hurt you," she said, "I'm worried about you hurting you."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't do this, Y/N, you don't have sex without strings, you just..don't."

"It's different, with him, it's..." you trailed off. "He hold my hand now, when we're walking, and he kisses me in public, and.."

"He kisses you in public?" She asked, and you nodded, "did you guys talk?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he didn't say anything," you said.

Danielle's eyes looked like they were about to bug out from her head. "You're there, too."

"I know, but if he didn't say something it's for a reason."

"What if his reason is that he's waiting for you to say something?"

"Because he wouldn't," you said, "If he had something to say to me, he says it." It was like everytime you'd been upset, every time you pushed him away. He always, without a doubt, would ask you about it.

"You don't think he loves you?"

"No, I think he loves me, no, I know he loves me," you said. He said it all the time. You were pretty sure he was in love you with too, but something was holding him back. "I just don't know if he wants to have a relationship with me."

"Well, you're not gonna know unless you ask."

"I can't, Dani."

"Why?"

"Because, because...if he doesn't, I just, I just can't." It might break your heart. Maybe. Because it didn't feel like your heart could even break, it didnt feel like you could ever fall out of love with him, yet begin to get over him. "I'm having a baby, and I need him to be my friend. Or my...whatever this is."

You couldn't take the risk of telling him and pushing him away, or making him feel like he had to pull away. Because your life was about to change, and you couldn't imagine doing it without him. You needed him there.

"I just don't know why you think that he's doing all of this if he's not in love with you."

"I don't know, it's like..a friend with benefits thing?" If the benefits included but were not limited to hand holding, making each other meals, breakfast in bed, foot rubs, sweet kisses, and the knowledge that someone was always there for you.

Danielle scoffed, "Do you seriously think, any guy, especially Tyler, would choose to hook up with a pregnant woman?" She asked, "unless he's got some fetish."

"He does not have a fetish," you said very clearly, "he doesn't even touch my belly when we're...doing stuff."

"Oh, I think he has a fetish," Danielle said, raising her eyebrows, "And that fetish is you."

"Stop!" You said, laughing and picking up a pillow from beside you on the couch, chucking it at her.

"It's true," she said, after she'd caught the pillow. "You can't say it's not true."

You ran your hand over your face, peeking out from between your fingers. "He told me he's not sleeping with anyone else," you said, the words coming out connected in a stream, and it seemed to take a moment for her brain to process what you were saying.

"He told you he's not sleeping with anyone else but you, and you don't think he wants to be with you?"

You shook your head. "No, I don't think, not right now " you said, and then added in a quieter voice. "I think it's the baby."

Danielle's eyes widened like she was horrified, but she regained control fast. "What? But you said... I thought he was...you think he's not sure about you having his baby anymore?"

"No, no," you said, quickly. "He's excited, I just...I don't think he's ready to be in a relationship with someone's who a mom?" Or anyone really?" Your hands went to your pants, pulling at where the fabric was bunched around the knees.

"Y/N..." Danielle said, almost pitifully.

"No, I'm good. Things are good right now, I need them to stay like that right now."

"You're okay then? With this just like as they are?"

"Yeah," you said, "a lot's gonna change for me soon. It's already changing. I don't know of I can handle any other changes right now."

"But what if.. " she said, "Do you want me to try to talk to him and see if I can find out how he feels?"

"No," you said, "I don't want to mess anything up with him, I don't want to...I'm having a son, I have to think about him. He comes first."

It hurt you, just a little bit, to not say anything to Tyler. But it'd hurt, even more, to lose him even a little bit. But that hurt went away when you were with him, even if you weren't together-together And you could only imagine just how your life was going to change on six short weeks. "He's not even home right now, anyways."

It suddenly seemed so complicated: the baby and the distance. Shouldn't it be simple? Something you just eased into?

"Yeah, yeah, that's true," Danielle said, her arm coming around you, "and he's gonna be there, you can talk to him whenever, after the baby's here. He's not going anywhere."

**

You knew you really, really wanted to be pregnant. And you were happy that you were and you wanted to embrace it and enjoy it.

But you were kind of ready for it to be over.

And after you'd gone to you childbirth workshop this weekend with Danielle, you were ready for him to just get here already.

"Hi," you grumbled into the phone, falling further into the couch, briefly wondering if you were now going to be stuck in the cushions.

"What's wrong with you?" Tyler asked.

"I'm pregnant."

"Yeah, you're supposed to be?" He made a kissing noise, like he was calling the dogs, and you heard a door slide open or shut.

"I'm so big," you said, "I'm hungry all the time, but I can barely eat a thing because he takes up so much room, and my back hurts, and I can't sleep, and my ankles look like an elephant's."

"Your ankles look like an elephant's?"

"Yeah, they're swollen," you said, "I can't even reach my feet. I have to wear rubber rain boots to drive to work and get someone to meet me in the parking lot to put my winter boots on for me."

Tyler laughed loudly.

"It's not funny."

"Yeah, it is. You got pictures of this?"

"No, I don't, and even if I did I wouldn't send them to you."

"Ouch," Tyler said, "Hey, be careful in your rubber rainboots, its slippery."

"Yeah, I know," you said, "your dad shoveled my driveway for me and put salt down though. It's not slippery. But I'm still careful."

"Yeah, I know he did," Tyler said, and you shifted in your seat. "What was that noise?"

"Nothing, I just moved."

"Oh I thought you fell down or something, you made this weird grunting noise."

"I'm really big."

"Yeah, I know."

"Tyler..."

"What? I was just agreeing with you."

"I don't feel good," you said, purposefully using improper grammar because it felt like the right thing to do.

"I'm sorry," Tyler said, "if I was there, I'd put your shoes on for you, y'know."

"I know," you said, shifting yet again and then grabbing a pillow and shoving it under your back.

"Anything I can do from here?" He asked, and you smiled, because he really sounded like he wanted to do something, just not asking the question to ask.

"Can you send me some of those lemonade sour patch kids, please? They don't have them in Canada, I looked," you said, "and not like a ton, either, like 4 or 5 bags? Maybe 6. Otherwise I'll just eat that."

"Yeah, sure," Tyler said, and you smiled, laying down on your side on the couch now, resting your head on a pillow.

"Thanks, babe," you said, and then your eyes widened when you realized what you said.

"You're welcome, babe," Tyler replied with a laugh, and you expected him to bug the hell out of you about it, but he didn't. "So you just sore then, or...?"

"And tired," you said, reaching out to pull the blanket over you, shutting your eyes just a little, "I don't know if I should start my maternity leave or not."

"Well, I don't know," he said, "Why don't you?"

"Because then I'd have less time home with him afterwards," you said.

"So you're gonna stop working, in March, then go back to work, next March, right at the end of the school year?"

"Yeah, I don't know," you said. "I just really want to hold him."

"Yeah, I'll bet."

"It feels like I've been waiting forever."

"You have been waiting a long time, though. But you're almost there."

"It's still a month away."

"You've got stuff to look forward to. Your baby shower is gonna be awesome, I hear."

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm. You'll like it, but i can't say why," he said, and he rolled his eyes. "Your birthday, too, what are you doing for your birthday?"

"I'm going to dinner with my mom and my sister, I don't want to do anything big. My baby shower's the weekend after."

"Still," Tyler said. "Oh yeah, by the way, I got you something, but it might show up a bit late. Don't think I forgot."

"You don't have to get me anything."

"I didn't, it's just a card," Tyler said, laughing, which meant it was not a card. "Just, hang in there okay? You'll be fine."

"I know, it's just..it's a lot, and I've got stuff I have to do to get ready for him when he gets here."

"Then take off work," he said, "you're getting paid."

"I know," you said, "but I'm trying to think about next year, and going back, and he's not even here yet."

"Then figure that out next year," he said, "I don't think it's good for you -or him- if you're not feeling well."

"I know, but I want to feel productive too and be with people, I don't just want to feel like I'm this big...pregnant lump."

"You are being productive, you're growing a baby," Tyler said, and then sighed. "Just, think about it a bit more, 'k?"

"Okay," you said.

"Where are you?"

"Where am I? I'm at home?"

"Can you Facetime me then? I need to see your face."

"Why?"

"Because you sound kind of down and I need to check to make sure you're not crying," he said, and pretty much right away the Facetime request came through and you accepted it, watching as Tyler came into view.

"Oh, hi, double chin," he said, laughing as you tried to adjust to a better angle but you were laying down so it was rather difficult. "Yeah, you look fine."

"I am fine," you said, "I'm just tired. How are you?"

"Great," he said.

"How are the dogs?" You asked, and Tyler laughed.

"They're outside, hopefully Gerry's not digging up another hole."

He shifted a little, and you say a flash of black in the corner of your screen. "Is Cash in your lap?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, panning the camera down and you could see he was rubbing Cash's ears with one hand, the dog's head rested on his legs. "He's not doing very well."

"What do you mean he's not doing very well?"

"He has a bit of dog depression."

"He has dog depression?" You asked, "why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you're kind of...a lot.. emotional lately and I can only deal with one sad person at once."

You frowned, "He's sad?"

"Yeah, that's what depression is," he said, patting Cash on the side.

"No, it's not just sadness, it's loss of interest, and fatigue, and –"

"Yeah, he's all of those things," Tyler said, "That's why I took him to the vet. He seemed really sleepy all the time and I thought maybe he was sick. But he's fine, he'll be fine. You being pregnant is making my dogs have to go to the doctor as much as you."

"What do you mean?"

"Umm...Marshall with his fake broken leg, Cash being sad because he misses you. The good news, or bad news, really, is that I think Gerry's more likely to injure me than himself."

"He's sad because I left? How do you know?"

"Because it started when you left. You know they're really, really attached to you since you've been pregnant. Like, I'm sure they miss you usually, but they like feel like they need to be with you all the time," he said, "Also, the vet said that it's usually changes like someone in the house dying or a baby coming into household, but the baby's still in you. And he was fine when you were here. We might need to keep an eye on him after the baby comes."

"Is he gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, its just mild, he doesn't need any medication or anything. I'm just supposed to do the things he enjoys with him."

"Does he enjoy anything?"

"Yeah, swimming," Tyler said, "so we swim, like, three times a day. I think it reminds him of you."

"I don't think swimming requires him of me," you laughed.

"Yeah, because you were swimming with him. I also made him a nest in the bedroom out of our sheets and didn't wash them so they smell like you," he said, "sometimes Marshall will get him to play a bit. Gerry just kind of jumps all around and over him though, which I think just pisses him off."

"Awe, Cash," you said, and this time he lifted up his head, Tyler petting it, and then slipping him a couple of treats.

"The vet said I'm not supposed to give him extra treats and stuff because it'll reward him laying around all day, but it makes him happy so I don't care. And it's only supposed to last for a few weeks, so.."

You laughed a little but you were interrupted by a couple of barks. "Hang on," Tyler said, "if they want come back in, I might need to switch back to the phone or grab headphones because the two of them get weird when they hear your voice."

"What is happening over there?"

"Things really went to shit when you left," Tyler said, adding jokingly, "you should come back."

"Tyler, I can't.."

"No, I know," he said, "it's okay, we'll be okay. Talk to him for a sec, would you?"

He propped you up on a pillow, facing Cash who was just laying down with his eyes open. "Hi Cash, what's wrong? Do you miss me? I miss you." It looked like his eyes were lifting up just a little.

"His tail's wagging, keep talking!" You heard Tyler yell.

"Do you want to come home to Toronto?" You continued, "You and I can hang out all day while your Dad does boring stuff like fishing and golfing. And you're going to have a baby brother then, too, and I think you're really, really gonna like him."

The next thing you saw was his head lifted up, and then you tumbling and then what you assumed was the floor.

"No, you knocked your mom over," Tyler said, and then he picked you back up. "He says sorry, it was an accident."

He sat down next to Cash, who still had his head up. "He liked that. I think he thought you were dead."

"I don't think he thought i was dead, Tyler " you laughed.

"Still, he liked what you said, even the parts about golfing and fishing being boring. Do you, maybe, you could Facetime with him for a bit everyday? I'd have put you guys in a separate, room, but–" Tyler made an oofing noise when Gerry jumped into his lap, his voice coming out a little higher pitched, "I can give you the dogsitter's number so you can talk to him when I'm gone too . I think he'd really like that."

"Yeah," you laughed, "yeah, I can do that."


	43. Chapter 43

You weren't entirely sure why Danielle insisted on coming to pick you up to take you to the baby shower. It was at your mom's house, and you knew her and your sister had been over there setting things up, so it didn't really make sense for her to drive back half an hour to pick you up. It wasn't like it was a surprise or anything.

Yet, here you were, sitting in the passenger seat of her car, wearing the blue floral maxi wrap dress you'd bought especially for today. When your phone beeped, you pulled it out of your bag.

Tyler: 🐶🐶

You: ???

Tyler: 😂😂

You shook your head, putting your phone back in your bag.

"What's wrong?" Danielle asked.

"Nothing," you said, "Tyler's texting me dog emojis."

She frowned but kept her eyes on the road. "Do you think he's bummed out he's not coming?"

"To the baby shower?" You asked. "It's just gonna be a bunch of girls, I don't really think he'd enjoy it."

"He probably would enjoy that," she said.

"Yeah, you're right," you smiled, " I don't know, I guess he'd come if he was home. He'd probably come to anything if there was gonna be food there." Now that you thought about it, you realized that he kind of had been asking a suspicious amount of questions lately, like when your baby shower started, and you wondered briefly if he felt left out.

"And you," Danielle said, flashing you a quick smile as you pulled up at your mom's house, to see several balloons with paw prints on them by the front door.

"Did Tyler try to ruin the theme?" You asked.

"Yes," she sounded exasperated as you both got out of the car, "he's such an asshole sometimes. I don't know why you love him so much."

"Why'd you tell him?" You asked, "I thought you said you weren't going to.

She just smiled and shrugged, which meant that there had to be a reason that she couldn't tell you just yet. You didn't have time to try and figure it out, however, because then the front door opened and your sister practically ran out to hug you.

"Hey mom," you said, looking over Nicole's shoulder to where your mom was making her way down the porch, and then you smiled,adding "Grandma."

"Hi sweetie," she said, coming over to hug you, "I love that dress."

"Thanks," you said.

"You look like you're about to pop," Nicole added, "Or explode."

"Thanks, Nic," you said sarcastically, running your hand over your belly.

"Is he moving lots?" your mom asked.

"A ton," you said, letting her rest her hand there for a moment before she told you to come inside and see everything and everyone.

You were already excited enough about having a puppy baby shower, but your breath was straight-up taken away when you walked inside, really trying to greet everyone who was there: some of your cousins and aunts, Tyler's mom and sisters, a few of your other friends and some of the girls you worked with, but really your mind was pretty much preoccupied with the whole set-up and decor. There were blue and balloons and garland across the front of the table, a chalkboard calendar for guests to place bets when they thought the baby would arrive, a little sign that said "Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. That's what little boys are made of.", a bowl filled with yarn for people to guess the size of your belly, and a couple of books, "If I were a Puppy" and "Puppy Makes Mischief" with pens so people could write messages to the baby. Your hand went to your face, even as you took in the 'Pup-peroni Pizza Bites' and the 'paw-sta' salad alongside snack foods and lemonade, and desserts like doughnuts with little decorative flags that said things like 'woof', dog sugar cookies, bone shaped rice Krispy treats covered with blue chocolate, and cupcakes topped with coconut and an oreo along with brown m&m's so they looked like paws.

"Oh my god, you guys, it's amazing," you said, going to hug your mom and sister and best friend because it was clear they worked very hard on this, and you were already crying, for what you felt would be the first but not only time today.

"Did you see this?" Danielle asked, and she pointed to framed pictures on the coffee table, which were clearly Marshall, Cash, and Gerry but the pictures were tinted to be various shades of blue.

"Is that why you had to tell Tyler the theme?" You smiled.

"Yes," she said, "and I'm never telling him anything that is meant to be a surprise ever again."

"He told you?" Nicole asked, sounded slightly outraged.

"No, he didn't tell me, I didn't know what the hell he was talking about," you said, "I was still surprised and this is awesome." You also really, really wanted a paw print cupcake, but you were preoccupied by the pictures of the dogs. "Poor Cash."

"What's wrong with Cash?" Jackie asked.

"He has dog depression," you said, slowly heading over to the food table because your Mom kept slowly gesturing towards it like you were the person who was supposed to start off the eating. "Tyler didn't tell you?"

Luckily, it seemed to be getting better. But you still had sent a package down to them with yet another new pool toy for Cash, some salmon treats because you didn't know much about depression in canines but you figured the omega-3's had to be good for brain health, and some chews because you knew he loved food, and figured it couldn't be a bad thing for him to spend awhile enjoying a treat, along with just a package of peanut butter treats for the dogs to share.

"I thought Gerry was the one having issues," she said.

"He is, too," you said, "more like acting out though."

"Is Cash okay?"

"Yeah, he's better," you said, "I mailed a package last week so it should be there soon, but I put a t-shirt I'd worn in there so it smells like me. Tyler pulled the sheets of our bed from when I was there and Cash has been sleeping in them because he likes that it smells like me. I mean, his bed. I mean, we were watching movies in there together. All of us."

Oh god.

You kind of just smiled and made your way over to the food table, where your sister kind of grabbed on your arm, leaning into you once you were out of earshot of everyone. "What the fuck was that?"

"I don't know," you whispered back, "I didn't want his mom to know we slept together." Even though, she'd kind of already knew you'd shared a bed thanks to Tyler blabbing. But that was way, way before the sex.

"What's the big deal unless you slept-slept together?" She asked, and then she took a look at your face and gasped, whispering harshly, "you had slept with Tyler!"

'Shhh...shhh..." you said.

"What? When?" Nicole continued to ask.

"Can we not....can we not do this now?" You asked. "It's my baby shower."

"You slept with your...with you baby daddy!" She said, and you gave her a pleading look, "Fine, but we're talking about this. Don't think I'll forget."

You were still trying to come down from this, and focus on celebrating the baby, when there when the doorbell rang and there were murmurs about who it would be since everyone was already there.

"Y/N!" Your mom called, "There's something here for you from Tyler!"

Oh god.

The next thing you knew there was a man, walking through your baby shower, carrying a platter which your mom was now instructing him to place down on the coffee table, which you could now see was stacked with grilled cheeses, with a little cup of mustard in the middle.

"Oh my god," Danielle said, punctuating each word.

"You didn't know about this?" You asked, and she shook her head so you looked to your sister and your mom, who shook their heads as well.

"He asked me for the address but wouldn't tell me why," Jackie said. "I thought he was sending a gift or something."

"He kept asking me what kind of food there was at a baby shower," Danielle said.

And then you'd had to explain to everyone the significance of grilled cheese and mustard, and then you remembered realizing just what you were craving at Tyler's house after you'd gotten your very first ultrasound and you were crying again.

The grilled cheese did kind of calm you down though, and Cassidy took a picture of you eating it to send to Tyler, the plate resting on your ample belly.

The third time you cried was when your mom gave you a gift, everyone gathered around watching with these bingo sheets in their laps in which each box corresponded to a potential baby gift. She'd given you a onesie which said I heart Mom and another one that said Mommy's Sunshine, with sunshine written to look like a sunrise, and it struck you that you really were going to be someone's mom. You could barely get through opening the second gift she gave you, an activity gym that looked like a little teepee, with all kinds of dangling fish and bears and owl toys.

There were plenty of puppy related gifts, of course, outfits and blankets, and hooded towels and shoes, along with a bib that said "It Was Me. I Let the Dogs Out." Tyler's mom had gotten you a mobile with different grey and blue knit puppy dogs; she was worried you may have already had one, but you reassured her you didn't, and it would work perfectly in the baby's room. His sisters gave you a cute little wooden puppy pull toy, these darling socks that looked like bears and had rattles in them, and some sleepers that had puppies on them.

Thankfully, you were laughing and smiling more when you opened your sister's gift, onesies that said "If You Think I'm Cute, You Should See My Auntie," and "Auntie's #MCM", along with bath toys that included a boat and fish. Danielle gave you the fish shaped activity mat for outdoors as you suspected, but she also gave you a onesie that said, "Love Makes a Family," and then you were crying once again and all you could do was hug her because it couldn't be more true.

You excused yourself to go to the washroom yet, mostly because you needed a moment to collect yourself because you didn't want to be bawling like a baby throughout your entire baby shower. When you came out, you heard the unmistakable sound of Tyler's voice on speaker, and followed it to find Cassidy at the food table her phone extended as if she was showing off the table and decorations. "Oh, 'Puppy Makes Mischief', I didn't know they'd written a book about Gerry", you heard him say. Cassidy turned the phone to face you once she'd noticed you, and you smiled.

"Hi," you said. He was sitting on the floor of what looked like an arena, foam rolling, the phone propped up on something to create an extremely unflattering angle.

"Hi," he smiled, "you look really pretty."

And you were pretty sure that he, as well as both of his sisters could see just how badly you were blushing, judging by the way he laughed. "What are you doing?" You asked.

"I'm about to play a baby shower game," he said, and now you noticed Candace with the yarn in her hand, and Cassidy turned the phone back to her. "More," he said, "More, a little more."

She kept lengthening the yarn each time, until it was literally reaching the floor.

"More," he said again.

"Tyler!" The three of you said at once, and he laughed, and then all of you were laughing when you could literally fit all three of you in the length of yarn.

"'K, I gotta go, love you guys!"

After that, you opened more gifts, baby shampoos and body washes, diapers, and memorabilia things like a baby book and a blanket where you could take a picture of the baby each month to see how he grew.

You left feeling very, very loved.

And very much ready for him to get here.

**

You were starting to feel stir crazy.

You'd been so, so tired and sore, but determined to try and push through the last few weeks of work before he got here. But your body kind of decided for you that you were done.

You'd slipped, the other day, on the stairs at work. The baby was fine, you were fine (other than a nice bruise on your ass), but you weren't going to take any chances, and just decided that your body was done with work.

It had been nice, the first few hours, doing nothing other than catching up on Netflix, but you quickly realized that everyone you knew worked, so you were pretty bored between the hours of 9 and 5.

You really, really tried to sleep, thinking that you should get at much rest now as possible, but you were so uncomfortable, and you couldn't stop thinking about all the things you could be doing.

So when Tyler Facetimed you that evening, you were really in a bit of a mess: you had a pot of chicken chilli on the stove, you were trying to layer lasagna while also wworking on some healthy energy ball things.

And you also had a load of laundry in.

"Question," Tyler said, as soon as his face appeared on your screen, "if a package arrives that is addressed to your dog, are you legally allowed to open it, or is that fraud?"

You laughed, "I'm pretty sure you can open it."

"'K," he said, and he flipped the camera so you could see now the box you'd sent, sitting on the floor, and all three dogs were sniffing it, likely smelling the treats inside. "Watch your noses," he prompted, slicing through the tape on the box to open it, after which it became a battle to see who could get their head in the box first.

"Gerry! That's not for you, that's for Cash, can't you read?" Tyler said when he made off with the pool toy, and Marshall backed up and barked. "That's right, listen to your elders."

He spoke in a soft tone to Cash, ripping open the bag of chews, and giving one to him, and you saw the flash of a tail wag before he jumped up on the couch with it. "Do you like that?" Tyler asked him, continuing to pull items out of the box, holding up your shirt when he got to it. "What's this?"

"My shirt."

"Yeah, I can see that," he rolled his eyes at you. "And it's my shirt, actually. Did you just mail it to me to return it? Because I think you've got a lot more of my stuff."

"No," you laughed, "I thought he'd like it because it smelled like me."

"Oh, so that's what smells weird."

"It does not smell weird," you said, watching as Tyler tossed the shirt across to land on Cash's head, who shook it off, clearly preoccupied with his treat.

"I'm sure he'll like it, he likes weird smelling stuff," Tyler said, laying down on the couch so his head was on the meat of Cash's hind leg, his hair flopping in his face. "Whatcha doing?"

"Cooking," you said, "And washing the baby's clothes?"

"Washing the baby's clothes?" He asked, "What, did he come and you didn't tell me?"

"No," you laughed, panning the camera down to your belly. "Still pregnant."

"Why are you washing his clothes then if they're not dirty?"

"Because you're supposed to pre-wash them, their skin is really sensitive"

"Oh. What are you cooking?" He asked, smirking after you told him. "You must be really hungry."

"I'm trying to make stuff to freeze so I have meals for after the baby's here," you said, "Oh yeah, can I put some stuff in the freezer at your house? I don't think I'll have enough room here for all I want to make."

"Sure," Tyler said, an uptick in his voice at the end like he was a little unsure about this whole process. And then the timer went off and your eyes darted around as you tried to remember what the time correlated to. "Shouldn't you do something?"

"Yeah, I just can't remember what I'm supposed to do," you stood back up, looking in the pot on the stove, and then at your recipe.

"What do you mean you can't remember?"

"My brain's weird," you said, "it's like a sieve i can't keep track of anything."

"How's your ass?"

"My ass is fine," you said.

"Are you icing it?"

"It's just a bruise, Tyler."

"Yeah, ice helps bruises," he said, "or did you forget that too?"

"No, I did not forget that," you said, pulling the pot off the stove, and double checking the oven wasn't on, going back to sit down at your kitchen table with a sigh.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired all of a sudden," you said, thinking you may have bit off more than you could chew.

"Then just relax."

"Yeah," you said, resting your head in your hand, "I just have to make something for dinner for tonight and I have to clean up the kitchen."

"Order something," Tyler said, "and the mess will still be there tomorrow. Or the day after."

"Yeah," you said, "I just wanted to get this done tonight."

"People'll probably bring you food," he said, "And DoorDash exists. You're not gonna starve."

"I just want to have some of my own recipes in the freezer."

'Yeah, but maybe you should just focus on making one thing at a time." He was probably right.

"What am I supposed to do all day if I'm not cooking?"

"Umm...rest?" Tyler asked.

"I am resting," you said.

"Yeah, I heard my mom found you in her pool."

"She did not find me in her pool, she told me I could come over whenever I wanted."

"Isn't there snow on the ground?"

"Sometimes," you said, to which Tyler gave you a weird look. "It helps, it's the only place i don't feel pregnant."

"Is it that bad?" Tyler asked, his voice soft.

"It's not bad," you clarified, "It's normal, I'm just ready for him to be out."

You got up, going to lay down on the couch now, running your hand over your face.

"You sure you're alright?" Tyler asked.

"Mhmm, my body just couldn't keep up with my ambition."

"Well, don't be so ambitious."

"I'm trying to stay busy," you said, 'otherwise I'm just going to be sitting around here all day."

"Can't you like, go out?"

"By myself?"

"With your mommy friends?"

"I have my prenatal yoga every Wednesday, so I'll do that in a couple days, that'll be nice."

"Today's Friday, babe, that's more than a couple days."

"Really? It's only been two days since my last class?"

"Yes," Tyler laughed, and you sighed again. "Hey, if you to call and talk to Cash all day so you have someone to hang out with, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Thanks," you said.

The next several days were much of the same, and you were basically just counting down the days to your next yoga class. You'd cleaned your house several times, cooked a few things, and you'd also found yourself reorganizing Tyler's spice cabinet when you went over to put some things in his freezer.

You'd gone out with some of the other mamas-to-be before the class, and then you'd taken the suggestion to pick up sushi, because you really deserved it. Once you got home, you kicked off your boots and set your bag down, walking through the living room towards your kitchen with your dinner in hand.

"Hi," Tyler said, smiling up at you from where he was seated on the couch, scrolling through is phone.

You looked at him, and then back at the front door as if trying to see if you'd walked through some type of time warp. "What.." you asked, the bag of food lightly slipping through your fingers so you bent down to set it on the floor. "What are you doing here?"

Now he set his phone down. "I had a couple of days off, and you sounded kind of down or lonely the last couple of times we've talked, so I'd figured I'd come see you."

Now you smiled wide, walking towards him, getting on the couch on either side of him, just putting your hands on his shoulders and smiling down at him. You wanted to hug him, you wanted to kiss him, but you also just couldn't stop looking at him, smiling and looking like your reaction was everything he had hoped for.

"I also figured I could give you your birthday gift in person," Tyler said, his hands going to your hips.

"I don't need a gift. You're enough."

"Yeah?" He asked softly.

"Yeah," you responded softly, kissing him on the forehead and then the lips.

"How long are you here for?" You asked, sliding out of his lap now to sit next to him, leaning against him, and his arm came around you.

"Two nights," he said, "I fly out the morning the day after tomorrow."

You smiled, snuggling against him even further, resting your head against his chest and his arm moved around you, his fingers playing in your hair.

"You want me to rub your feet or your back or something?"

"No," you said, smiling against his chest, your hand coming up to join your fingers with his. "Just like this."


	44. Chapter 44

You had really, really missed him.

You couldn't quite put a finger on that sort of dull vacant, open feeling you'd had in the back of your mind ever since you took your maternity leave, trying to keep your mind preoccupied but now that Tyler was here you realized it: you'd just wanted him to be here all along. It was kind of hard, being so, so pregnant and not really having one anyone here every single day waiting with you. You had contemplated just having your mom come stay with you a little bit earlier, but you knew that'd cut the time she was taking off to stay with you after you'd had the baby in half, and you didn't really want that.

"What are you doing?" Tyler asked with a laugh, pulling his head back away from you.

"Nothing?" you said, leaning your arm into his chest a bit more.

"You're, like, staring at me," he said, "And you aren't blinking."

"Sorry," you said, forcing yourself to blink now, but still smiling at him. "I just can't believe you're here."

"I'm here," he smiled at you, pulling your close like he was planning to kiss you, but his hand settled on your belly, and he looked down, "Oh, hi, blob, you're looking big."

"Yeah, they think he's 7 and a half pounds."

"Is that big?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, they're supposed to gain ½ pound per week now, so he could be 9 pounds."

"That's it? You look, like, way bigger than that," Tyler said, and then his lip twitched, "I mean, he looks like he's bigger than that."

You laughed, "There's other stuff too, in there, like fluid, it's not all baby," you said, "Remember, when I explained this to you, after I fell, that there's a bunch of stuff protecting him?"

"Oh yeah," Tyler said, and then reached around you, and began tugging at the leggings you had on.

"What are you doing?" you asked, going to wrap your hand around his wrist, and yet not pulling back.

"Trying to look at your ass," he said, trying to maneuver you to get your leggings down.

"Stop, stop," you said, laughing, and pushing his hand away, "It's fine."

"Why won't you let me see it then?"

"Because I'm comfortable with my pants on right now," you said.

""'K," he said, and you snuggled back down against him, and he laughed under you. "Aren't you going to eat your dinner?"

"Oh yeah," you said, sitting up, "Did you eat?"

"Mhmm."

"You want some of my sushi?" you asked, "I got enough so I could have it for lunch tomorrow, too, so there's plenty. I got udon soup, too."

"Then what are you going to eat for lunch tomorrow?"

"I can get more," you said, "I can't eat much at a time anymore, anyways. There's no raw fish though, but there's other stuff in the fridge if you're hungry."

Tyler followed you as you got up, picking the bag up off the floor where you'd left it, and Tyler giggled.

"You put it on the floor?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm glad I didn't drop it," you said, "you shocked me."

"It was worth it," he said, tapping you on the shoulder as you went into the kitchen and started unpacking the meal. "Oooh.." you heard Tyler say, and then you turned to see him pick a cookie up off the cooling rack where you'd left them before you'd gone out, going to put it into his mouth.

"Tyler, those are-" you starting, watching as he took a bite and then made a face.

"Are these healthy cookies?" He asked as he chewed, exagerating the opening and closing of his mouth like they were sticky.

"They're lactation cookies," you said, laughing as his eyes widened and he pulled the cookie from his mouth, bringing his hands to his chest.

"What's going to happen to me?"

"Nothing," you laughed, "they've just got a bunch of ingredients in them that are supposed to help with milk production, healthy fats and brewer's yeast and stuff."

He looked at you, taking another tentative bite like he was expecting milk to squirt out of his chest at any moment.

"Are they bad?"

"No, they're not bad, they taste like a healthy cookie though, not like what you usually make."

"There's a lot of oats in them," you said.

"Yeah, I can tell," he said, extending the rest of the cookie towards you, "Do you want this?"

You looked down at the half-eaten cookie. "No," you laughed, focusing on getting your sushi out instead. "It's that bad that you don't want it?"

"No, I was just offering because they're for you," he said.

"Well, I don't need them right now, i was going to freeze them."

"Oh," he said, as he finished the cookie and you watched him look over the rest of them, picking up another one.

"Tyler!" You said.

"What?" He asked, his mouth full of cookie. "It was broken, it'd fall apart in the freezer and make a mess, I'm helping you."

"You could help me by folding laundry or something, not by eating all my lactation cookies."

"Mmmwhere's the laundry you want folded?"

"Tyler, I was just kidding. I don't have anything that I need folded."

"Well, is there anything you need me to do?"

"I need you to come sit down with me on the couch while I eat."

"Mmk.." he said, moving in behind you as you held your plate in your hands, wrapping his arms around you from behind and swaying lightly. You smiled, but then the next thing you knew your pants were being tugged down over your butt.

"Tyler!" You said, stopping and holding onto your plate very tight, because you might cry if he made you drop your dinner.

"Just let me look," he said, and you feel him pull your leggings down. "Ooh, a thong."

"Don't take it off," you warned.

"Yeah, well I don't need to because it doesn't hide much."

"I'm wearing leggings," you said, "I was at yoga, I didn't want there to be lines."

"Mmm.." he said, running his hand gently over your ass now. "There's a bruise."

"Yes, I know there's a bruise, you don't need to touch it. It's fine, I went to the doctor."

"The doctor looked at your ass?"

"No, the doctor did not look at my ass, I wasn't concerned about my ass, I was concerned about the baby." You were looking down at your soup now, watching as the steam kept escaping, feeling rather annoyed that he was keeping you from your dinner.

"Well, I'm concerned about your ass."

"It's fine, it barely even hurts, except for when you keep touching it."

"You got yourself pretty good," he said, "it's turning all yellow."

"I was trying not to fall on my belly."

"Well, you shouldn't have fallen at all."

"The stairs were narrower than I thought, and my centre of gravity is all off, it happens."

"Your bum is cold," he commented now.

"Maybe because you have my pants pulled down," you said, "can you pull them back up, please?"

"Touchy, touchy," he said, even as he did as you asked.

"Well, you can't just come into someone's house and pull down their pants and start feeling on their ass."

"Well, you're more than welcome to do the same to me if you want," he said, pausing in what he was doing.

"Tyler," you whined, "my soup's getting cold."

"Here, I'll warm it up for you," he said, pulling your pants back up the rest of the way and lightly tapping you on the bum, reaching over to take the cup of soup from your plate.

"Thank you," you said, popping a piece of sushi in your mouth as you went back into the living room, hearing the microwave beep and your fridge open, pulling a blanket over your legs as you sat down on the couch.

"Sit on this," Tyler said, as he came back in with your warm soup, and ice pack in hand.

"Tyler, I'm–"

"Fine, I know. Just do it for me?" He said, and you did it reluctantly, pulling the blanket up even higher on your body now, Tyler flopping next to you. "You're lucky the dogs aren't here, they'd never even let you up off the couch they're so protective of you."

"How are they? How is Cash?"

"Good, better," Tyler said, "they're probably gonna be a little bit mad at me because I'm gonna be gone longer than I said I was, but I think they'll understand when I tell them I came to see you. Well, I hope they will. They probably won't be, actually, but it'll be worth it."

You smiled, as he passed you over his phone so you could look at the pictures of the dogs he'd taken, including one of Cash snuggled up with the shirt you sent.

"Where are you going?" you whined as Tyler got up.

"I just gotta pee, I'll be right back, I'm not leaving," he laughed.

"Okay," you said, now watching a video of Cash swimming in the pool which you'd already seen before, because Tyler had sent it to you, as you ate your dinner with his phone propped up against your leg.

You heard the sink and the the bathroom door open and then the next thing you knew he was disappearing into your bedroom.

"Why are you going into my room Tyler?" you called, worried what the hell he could be up to in there. He didn't respond, but you heard him laugh when he came back out.

"I was just grabbing something from my bag, I put it in there," he said, coming back to sit on the couch, and you held your soup to keep it from spilling. "Oh yeah, it's okay if I stay here tonight, right? Otherwise, could you please give me a ride to my house?"

"You are such a dork," you laughed.

"You're a dork," he countered, grinning, your faces coming close enough that it was easy to peck a kiss. "Are you snooping at my phone?" he asked, when you'd both pulled away.

"You gave it to me," you said, and he laughed.

"I don't have any secrets to keep from you, I was kidding," he said, looking over your shoulder, "It's a little rude that you're watching the dogs skinny dip though."

"You're the one who took the video!"

"Yeah, but it was just dudes being dudes, it wasn't supposed to be seen by you."

"Well, I'm sorry."

"Apologize to him, not me," he said seriously, and you looked at each other before you both started laughing. "Anyways," Tyler said, nodding towards the bag on the table, which had three Disney princesses on it.

"What is that?" you laughed.

"It's for you," he said, "Just ignore the packaging, my sister gave me my birthday gift in that because she thought it was funny, and I was in a rush, so I just grabbed that."

"You really didn't have to get me anything for my birthday," you said.

"I know, but I wanted to," Tyler said, "And this is a joint birthday/new mommy gift, so you don't have to worry about me getting you anything else."

"Tyler," you sighed.

"What?" he asked, "Your baby gets all the presents and I'm sure he's gonna be awesome and stuff but you should get something, too."

"Tyler," you said, looking back and forth between that ridiculous gift bag and your dinner, not knowing what to say.

"I'll open it for you," he said, pulling the bag into his lap and turning sideways on the couch to face you. "I'm going to have to get used to doing this anyways."

"What?"

He quirked his lips at you. "You're gonna be holding a baby all the time, and I'm going to have to be your hands for you," he said, like this was an obvious fact, and you watched as he grinned, pulling one item out, which was wrapped in tissue paper, watching your reaction as you looked at the mug. It was a rather nice mug, with cute pink flowers on it, but you couldn't figure out why he was gotten you a mug, until you noticed the grey cursive spelling out MILF.

"Tyler!" you said, and he laughed.

"What? You don't like it?" He asked.

'I mean, it's nice, I just wasn't expecting it."

"Wait, you know what MILF stands for, right?"

"Yes, I know what MILF stands for," you rolled your eyes.

"Man, I love fishing, right?" He said, looking at your response, "Wait...what did you think it meant?"

"Tyler," you laughed.

"What?" He laughed, "Every mom needs a MILF mug, y'know."

"Well, thanks?"

"You're very welcome," he said, "close your eyes."

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Nothing," he laughed, "just do it."

So you did, even though you were a little tentative and you felt him move around you and kiss your cheek. You smiled and puckered your lips a little and he pressed his lips to yours before settle something in your lap, and you sensed him moving away.

"'K, open," he said, and you opened your eyes to see an apple watch sitting on your lap, along with a floral watch band that was in various shades of grey with a couple pops of pink. You were pretty sure you audibly gasped. It wasn't what you were expecting, at all, but you found yourself reading the box. "Yeah, so now if you're holding the baby you can call me or text me without having your phone right there," Tyler said, "And you can listen to music, or use it when you run, or not have to worry about your wallet if you're out. I think you can put apps on there for baby stuff too. And you know what the best part is."

"What?"

"If you lose your phone, you can just use your watch to ping it," he said, "it'll be great because I know how forgetful you've gotten lately."

"I'm not forgetful."

"Babe," Tyler said seriously, "You were talking me on the phone the other day and then you left to go pee and you forgot that I was on the phone. I had to yell because I could hear you getting stuff out of your fridge."

You smiled and shrugged, still looking at your gift. "I don't even know what to say," you said.

"You could say thank you?"

"Thank you," you smiled.

"I'm glad you like it," he said, "want me to set it up for you?"

"Okay," you said, watching as he unpackaged it and you finished up eating your dinner.

"Mmmm.." Tyler said, "you know what we should do first? You should teach me how to swaddle. Before we forget."

"Okay," you answered hesitantly.

"Why are you talking like that? You don't want me to know?"

"No, no, I'm just not sure why you want to learn now. It'd be easier just to show you on the baby."

"I just want to be prepared, your book says they like it," he said, even though you were pretty the only part read was about swaddling"and what if you have the baby and the doctor pull him out and is just like 'hey, you, swaddle him up!'"

You giggled, "I don't think that's gonna happen." Nonetheless, you told him where the blankets were in the nursery and he came back a moment later with the blankets you'd directed him to and a teddy bear.

"So those ones on top have clips and a pouch for they're legs so they're easier," you said.

"Did you buy those for me?"

"No," you laughed, "my cousin got them for me. Now, take one of the regular blankets and lay it open on the floor like a diamond."

"Shouldn't we use the easier ones?"

"No, the toys gonna be too small and you're gonna get frustrated."

"Okay," Tyler said, getting down on floor and rubbing the blanket on his face, "oooh, soft."

"Okay, now fold the top down so it's flat and put the bear there so its head is sticking out," you said, watching as he did just that and then looked up at you as if to ask if it was okay. "Now take the right side and wrap it over the body and tuck it in under him."

You watched as Tyler did so. "No, a little bit tighter, the goal is to make the baby feel snug," you said. "Okay, now take the bottom and wrap it up and tuck it under his shoulder."

You watched him pull his tongue between his lips like he was concentrating very hard on this, but he wasn't quite getting it. So you got up, getting down on the floor, and showed him. "Like this," you said, untucking it again so he could try it for himself. Tyler gripped the bottom again and nodded at you to put your hand over his, guiding him and tucking the blanket in before you let go. "Now just wrap that other side over and you're done," you said.

Tyler did that, and then picked the whole thing up, flipped it in the air, and then caught it, you raising your eyebrows. "Don't worry, I'm not going to do that with your kid," he said, "it came undone though."

"Maybe because you threw it in the air," you said, "And you're using a teddy bear, it's gonna be different on a human baby."

Tyler looked at you for a second, and then said, "Can I swaddle you?"

"No, you cannot swaddle me."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm an adult, I'm not a baby," you said. "It's not even going to work, I've got a huge belly."

"Please," he said, moving closer to you, his lips speaking against your neck like that would entice you.

"Tyler, no," you laughed, "I'm not supposed to lay flat on my back anyways."

"Fine," he said, nuzzling against you, "we'll wait until after you have the baby then."

"Then you can just swaddle him!"

"Yeah, okay," Tyler said, and you laughed, watching him as he retucked the blanket around the stuffed bear. "You're doing that weird, starring thing again."

"Sorry," you said, "I'm really happy you're here."

"Me too," he said, crawling towards you on the floor and then wrapping his arms around you from the side, placing a kiss on your temple, and then your cheek, and then your lips, and you sighed into him.

"Mmm..don't make that noise," Tyler whispered, even as he cupped your cheek, kissing you deeper now.

"Why not?" you asked.

He pulled back just briefly now, resting his forehead against yours, flipping your ponytail back over your shoulder. He was breathing heavily, like he was already short of breath, and you starred at his lips, kissing him quickly before he smiled and answered you. "Because I really don't want to fuck you on the floor."

You laughed, looking to the side. "There's a couch right there."

"Yeah, yeah, we'll get there," he said easily, smiling at you once and then he moved back in, his hand going to cup your cheek as he kissed you deeply, moving his knees closer and closer to yours on the carpet.

"Mmm.." you murmured, "you're a really really good kisser." You'd miss this, too, a lot.

"Yeah?" He asked, moving his lips away from your mouth and over your jaw line, coming to suck and nibble on your neck.

"Tyler," you said breathlessly.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he responded, you going for his shirt. "Already?" He teased, but he let you pill his shirt off, settling your hands on his warm chest. You sat up on your knees, rested your head against his bare chest for a second.

"You smell good."

"Mhmm?" He asked, his fingers running through your ponytail and you kissed up his chest, meeting his lips again. "My turn."

He flashed you a quick smile,l his hands lifting your shirt and running up your back before he got rid of your shirt, his hands then going to run up and down your sides while he looked contemplating at your sports bra. "Does that have a thingy?"

"A what?"

"You know," he said, making a motion with his fingers and then he leaned forward, mouthing at the swell of your breasts. "I want it off, how do I get it off?"

You raised your eyebrows, reaching around to the back and undoing the clasp, letting it fall from your body. "Oh," Tyler giggled a bit, redness flowing to his cheeks, and he moved to rest his cheek against your chest, and you felt his beard scratch against your sensitive skin, him pressing kisses all over your breasts, and then palming at them as he presses into you hard, kissing you.

"Mmmm.."

"C'mhere," Tyler said, tugging at your hips, pulling you into his lap. You kissed each other, your hands tangling in his hair and then over his back, and you ground your hips against him, trying to get as much friction as you could against your core. His hand went to your ponytail again, this time pulling at the elastic and you could feel your hair break free and the elastic drop, knowing you'd likely never find it, but you didn't care, getting lost in him, your hands pressing against his chest until you seemed to both lose your balance, tumbling backwards onto the floor, and you both looked at each other and laughed.

"I mean, if you want it like this," he grinned, placing his hands behind his head. "I'm not gonna argue if you want to push me around.

"Stop," you laughed, circling your hips a little, loving how his mouth opened just a little bit.

"K, babe, babe, you gotta get up, we need to— fuck," he broke off, his eyes transfixed on your bouncing breasts. "We gotta get up off the floor."

You whimpered a little as he gently slid you off, and then grabbed your hand and pulled you to your feet, wrapping his arms around you as much as he could, kissing you as his hand slipped inside your leggings, gripping your ass. "Mmm your bum is still cold."

"Well, you made me sit on an ice pack, that could be why."

"Hmm.." he said, slipping his other hand in on the other side. "Yeah, it's just that cheek. I'll warm ya up."

You laughed and Tyler scowled at you, "Don't laugh at me when I'm trying to be sexy."

"K," you said, moving to his lips again, and he slotted his leg between yours, your body seeking what it wanted. He mumbled something you couldn't hear, and then he was pushing at your pants and then his pants, like he couldnt get to being inside you fast enough, and you were completely on the same page.

He practically pulled you onto him as he sat down on the couch, and then next thing you knew you were lining yourself up with him, resting your hands on his shoulders as you sank down over him.

"You feel so good," he sighed, his hand running through your hair as you started to move, stiffening when you felt a punching sensation deep inside you."

"You alright?" Tyler asked, his voice sounded strained.

"Mhmm," you said, although he looked like he didnt believe you. "Hit a weird spot or something, I don't know."

You shifted your hips, and then started to move again. It didn't feel bad now, but it didn't exactly feel good either, it was like everything was too squished or something, and you tried to focus on Tyler's deep breathing, and the way his eyes fell shut.

But all that was overshadowed by a shooting pain up your pelvis, like a nerve was being pinched.

"Ow," you breathed out, shutting your eyes, and Tyler tried to steady you or something but it just put more pressure where you didn't need it.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, holding your hips as you lifted off him slowly, and then settled on the couch next to him. "Does it still hurt?"

"No," you said, "but I dont think I can....I'm sorry." You were glancing at his hard cock, really kind of infuriated because it used to feel so good.

"Don't say you're sorry, it's not your fault," he said, putting his arm around you like you were just two friends, sitting on the couch, who just happened to be naked.

"I know, but I really, really wanted to," you said, turning your head to look at him now.

"I know," he said, kissing you quickly, "but, I mean, we don't have to stop-stop if you don't want to. There's other stuff we can do. Or we can just kiss. You said you like it when I kiss you."

You took his hand on your cheek as an invitation, leaning into him until he parted your lips with his tongue, and you felt your need grow again.

"I really wanted you inside me."

"Well, you can have my tongue inside you."

You felt a wave roll through your body, and he must have noticed because he laughed, moving onto the floor, his hands going to your ankles to pull you towards him.

"Tyler..."

"Mhmm..." he grinned, pulling your leg over his shoulder, kissing slowly up your leg, towards were you were throbbing, keeping his eyes connected with you the whole time. "You good?" He asked, when he was so close you could feel his breath moving over your centre, running his hands up and down your legs.

"Tyler," you said helplessly, "just—oh my god," you said, his mouth pressed into you, licking and sucking at you, his nose rubbing against your clit as he pulled away, rubbing his cheek against your inner thigh.

"You tell me if it's too much."

You started at him nodding for a second before you realized he was waiting for a verbal response. "Yeah, yeah, of course."

He laughed, at then moved back into you, the vibrations from his laughter causing you to moan out, and you leaning back on your elbow, using the other hand to run through his hair as you relaxed into the sensations, feeling his tongue thrust inside you. His hand went to your leg, holding you to him, as he sucked at your clit.

"Don't stop, don't stop," you said, your hips moving towards his mouth, your eyes falling shut as your body shook with orgasm, slowly falling away from him and then looking at him dreamily, his lips slick with your wetness, and his cheeks flushed.

You both kind of made this satisfied noise and looked at each other for a moment, and then he was sliding back onto the couch beside you, leaning over to kiss you, and you let your hand drift downwards, your fingers running through his happy trail until you gripped his cock, feeling his stutter into your lips, and it empowered you to pull away, so you could move to sink to your knees just like he had.

"Mmm..no," he said, and your hand fell away from him, creating distance between the two of you on the couch.

"No?" You asked, and he huffed out a breath, his hand going to your side, and then to your hand, placing it back on him as he leaned into you, kissing you again. You got lost in his lips, and the little noises he was making as you pumped his length in your hand, so you jerked in surprise when you felt his fingers brush against your sensitive clit.

"God, babe," he said breathlessly , "so wet for me." His finger circled your entrance and he pulled back as if watching you for your reaction, pushing a finger slowly inside, your muscles clamping down around him.

"Is it too much?" He asked, his finger pumping against your g-spot.

"No, it's good," you said, falling back into his kiss. It was really nice, you realized, his fingers moving inside you, his thumb brushing against your clit every now and then, his hips starting to move into your touch, to be able to kiss him as you both fell apart, your lips kind of breaking away from each other as you panted against each other, feeling him shoot onto your hand.

You both looked at each other and kind of laughed a bit, and then you moved to kiss him slowly and softly. "Want to take a shower with me? And then maybe eat ice cream and cuddle in bed?"

"Yeah," Tyler said quickly, like he was afraid if he didn't act quick, the offer would be off the table, his voice coming out squeaky, and he cleared his throat, "I mean, yeah, sure. That sounds good."

You laughed, as you both got up, and Tyler nudged his nose into your neck. "Don't laugh at me!"

**

You looked over at Tyler who, like he had been all the times he'd been when you looked over at him, was sleeping soundly next to you.

It was irrational, you knew, but you kind of wanted to smack him with a pillow just for the simple fact that he was sleeping, and you were not.

Instead, though, you moved slowly to the edge of the mattress and stood up, watching him to try and make sure you didn't wake him. Tyler made a noise of complaint and rolled towards your side of the bed, stretching out his arm, and you pushed your pregnancy pillow towards him, trying not to laugh as he wrapped his arm around it, snuggling back into sleep.

You went downstairs, starting the coffee and then pulling out your waffle iron, humming under your breath as you started on breakfast.

Tyler came into the kitchen once you had a stack of waffles going, wandering over to you and wrapping his arms around you from behind. "Hi," he said sleepily, kissing you on the cheek.

"Hi," you said, patting him on the side of the head.

"You didn't need to do all this," he said, "I mean, I'll eat them, but you could have stayed in bed."

"Couldn't sleep," you explained, "And I wanted to make lots of waffles so I can freeze them."

"Mmm..." Tyler said, stepping around you to get some coffee. "You want me to do anything today? To help you get ready for the baby?"

"No," you said, "But thanks."

"You sure?" He asked, "Because you should probably be resting."

"Yeah, there's not really anything I need-need to do," you said, "everything's ready. I just like doing this sort of stuff, it makes me feel...domesticated or something? Or really prepared?"

"Ah, you're doing the nesting thing," he said.

"I guess," you said, "anyways, I just want to spend time with you today while you're here."

"That's what I came for," he smiled.

You both got your breakfast plates and sat down at the kitchen table, Tyler appreciated tearing into his waffles. "Seriously, between these and the ice cream you made me eat last night, you're really throwing me off my diet."

"They're healthy waffles," you said, "they're made with oat flour."

"Are they lactation waffles?"

"No, they're not lactation waffles," you laughed.

"Well, they're good," he said, and then he eyed your coffee mug. "Where's your MILF mug?"

"Oh, uhh...I forgot it."

"You forgot it?" He asked, feigning hurt, "how could you forget that?"

"I'm saving it," you said, "for after he gets here."

"Okay, but you can use it now if you want, it's still true."

You laughed, finishing your breakfast together and you were just about to suggest that maybe you go for a walk or something when you stood up, you eyes widening as you felt as sudden gush of wetness flow down your legs.

"I can grab the dishes, you cooked," Tyler said, standing up now.

"Tyler, " you said.

"That's me, yep."

"Tyler," you said again, your voice shaky this time, and now he took notice of you, you reaching out to grip the kitchen table. "I think my water just broke."

His eyebrows raised and he walked around the table to you, feeling on your pants. "They're wet."

"Yes, I know they're wet, I think my water broke."

"Those are my pants," he said now, "you can just keep them, okay? Forever. I don't need them back."

"Tyler," you said helplessly, like you needed him to tell you what to do, and he shook his head, and then his eyes seemed to focus.

"Okay," he said, gripping your arm and moving you to the side. "Careful, don't slip in it."

Then he grabbed a tea towel and threw it down on the ground, using his foot to move the towel around as if to mop it up, even though you were pretty unsure that any had even gotten on the floor. You bit your lip at how absurd it looked, him standing there in his boxers cleaning the floor like he'd spilled something making breakfast.

"Isn't it too soon?" He said now, his eyes snapping to yours in alarm. "You're not due 'till April."

"No," you said, running your hand over your belly. "I'm 37 weeks. He can come anytime."

"Okay," Tyler said, and them he noticed your hand on your belly. "Are you having contractions?"

"No, nothing yet."

"Okay," he said, looking at the floor and then at you. "Where's your phone?"

"My phone?"

"Yeah, I gotta call your mom, I don't have her number in my phone," he said, and then the next thing you knew he was grabbing his phone, scrolling through it.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Danielle, she's the one who took the baby class, she knows what to do."

"I took it too, I know what to do."

"So what do we do?"

"I'm supposed to go to the hospital if my water breaks."

"Okay," Tyler said, "Okay, you should go get changed. And we need your bag, right? Do I need stuff? Where are your car keys?"

You couldn't even answer him because then he was going down the hallway, heading into the baby's room, and coming out with the bags you'd left in the glider, and then you followed him into the bedroom, where he started scrolling through his phone again.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling Danielle, she can call your mom, they can both meet us at the hospital," he said, "I'll call Nicole, too, just get dressed."

"Can you not call everyone right now?"

"But I thought you wanted them there?"

"I do," you said, "But I'm not having contractions yet, it's gonna be awhile. Can we just get settled in first, just you and me, and then you can call them later?"

Tyler's expression softened now. "Yeah, babe, whatever you want."

You got changed into a maxi dress, because you weren't entirely sure if you were going to keep dripping or whatever, while Tyler also got dressed, looking at you what seemed every two seconds. "Where are your car keys?" He asked, as he was still pulling his shirt over is head.

"I don't know."

"Well, where did you leave them?" he asked, "When did you last have them?"

"When I came home and you were sitting on my couch?"

"Okay, I'll find them," Tyler said, "And I'm gonna put this stuff in the car. You wait here alright?"

"Okay," you said, and Tyler left, and then poked his head back in a moment later to double check that you a car seat in the car. While he was gone, you got up and wandered into the nursery, looking around because you'd realized it was the last time it'd be without a baby in it. Then, you went back into the bathroom, looking for a towel you could put down on your car seat, when Tyler came back into your bedroom.

"'K, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," you said taking a couple of steps, and then you said, "Just a minute," going to sit down on the bed, letting your eyes close, and you focused on taking a couple of deep breaths. You felt Tyler sit down on the bed next to you, his hand coming to take yours.

"Did you have a contraction?" he asked, when you opened your eyes, looking at you with concern.

"No," you said, not letting go of his hand.

"You're shaking," Tyler asked, more like a question than an observation, "why are you shaking?"

"I don't know, I think adrenaline or something."

"Well, that's good," Tyler said. "Right?"

"I don't know," you said, your hand going to your chest and your eyes starting to fill with tears. "I just feel really nervous all of a sudden."

"You'll be fine," Tyler said, taking your hand, his thumb rubbing up and down . "I'm gonna be right there with you the whole time, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

You took a few more deep breaths, and then looked at him. "Okay, I think I'm ready."

"Yeah?" Tyler asked, making no motion to move. "100%?"

"100%" you confirmed, and he smiled, kissing you on the forehead and then you stood up, taking his hand yet again. You walked out to the car together, and Tyler let go of your hand only to open the door for you, and you saw that he'd already laid down the towel for you on the seat, and it struck you that it felt like you were still kids, and yet you also knew you weren't, and that you were ready for this.

Tyler got in the car, and looked at you looking at the empty car seat in the back, and he smiled, taking your hand as he started to drive. He kept looking over at you, again and again,and then back at the road, his thumb rubbing yours every now and then.

"You're doing that weird, starring thing again," you joked.

"It's nerve-wracking, okay? You try driving a woman whose going into labour to the hospital. It's way harder than being the woman going into labour."

You laughed, "Well, it might be easier if you keep your eyes on the road."

"I'm checking to make sure you're okay, and not having a contraction or anything."

After you told him that you'd tell him if you had a contraction, he slowed down, glancing at you only occasionally now.

When you got to the hospital, you both just looked at each other.

"You're gonna have a baby," Tyler said, lifting your hand to his his mouth and placing a kiss there. "And you're gonna be awesome at it."

Except.

Except you weren't.

Because, an hour later, you were back in the car heading home, just the two of you.

"Hey, it's okay, babe," Tyler said. "Everyone pees their pants sometimes. Usually they're just, like, two or three, not an adult."

"Tyler..." you said, covering your red face.

" Well, they said you're not the only woman who it happens to. They have those test strips, so it must happen a lot."

"I know," you said.

"I just don't get how you didn't realize you were peeing your pants, but.."

"I swore it was coming from my vagina!" You said, and Tyler giggled.

You sighed, rubbing your hand over your belly because, if the embarrassment wasn't enough, you were also feeling kind of let down, like you'd climbed up to the top of a roller coaster, but were stopped before you could fly down the hill. "I really thought he was coming today." All you knew was that you were 1-2 cm dilated, which meant he could come in two days or two weeks from now.

"Well, he's probably comfy in there. Or maybe he's just staying in there because he knows his da–I mean, me. He knows I suck at swaddling," Tyler said, and he looked over at you. "Sorry, I don't know why I said that."

"It's okay, Tyler," you said, "I mean, you're kind of his dad?"

"But I'm not his dad. I'm his... something. I don't know, me? I'm something, but I'm not his dad. I don't know why I said that, Benn's getting in my head or something."

You let in go, looking out the window. Because, even though you knew that he'd still come, eventually, you thought you'd get to hold your baby really soon.

"Hey, this is good, babe, we got out all the nerves, you know how to get to the hospital, we're ready for when it really happens. It was like a dry run," Tyler said, and he barked out a laugh, "Well, it was more like a wet run. But you had the right idea."


	45. Chapter 45

"Who the fuck keeps texting you?" Tyler whined, when your phone started ringing again. He was sitting on the couch while you were laying on your side, your head resting on a pillow that was set against his leg because, apparently, not having a baby was exhausting.

"I don't know," you said, getting up.

"I can get it for you," he said, laying his head back against the couch, looking very much like he was not going to get up, "You were just on me, I couldn't move."

He smiled at you as you, flipping his head back as you walked around the back of the couch into the kitchen, grabbing your phone to see that it was Danielle who texted you, asking if you wanted her to bring by some dinner after work. You typed that Tyler was here, and maybe another night would work, making your way back into the living room.

"Come back, I'm cold," Tyler whined again, "Actually, go pee first. I don't want you to pee on me."

"I'm not going to pee on you."

Tyler raised his eyebrows, so you went to the washroom anyone, partly because you didn't want to have to get up in 5 minutes again when you probably would have to pee. After you were done, your phone pinged again, three times in quick succession.

Danielle: ????

Danielle: WHAT THE HELL

Danielle: WHY IS HE THERE? WHEN DID HE GET THERE?!!

You just texted her back that you would explain everything tomorrow.

"Babe..."

"I'm here," you said, sitting back down and he smiled sleepily, resting his head on your shoulder. You were watching "Stay Here" on Netflix, mainly because you weren't in the emotional mood for "Grey's Anatomy", and Tyler seemed to think that you should only watch that show at night for some reason. Watching discussion about carving out a niche in the market for yourself and home decor was really just what you needed.

Tyler made a sound of content, laying his head down on your boob, and you looked down at him. "What? I needed a pillow."

"There's a pillow right there."

"This is better," he said, snuggling against you, "could you not breathe so much though, please?"

"Tyler!"

"I said just not so much, not stop breathing completely, that'd be bad," he said, as your phone rang this time, and he sighed, "Why, who is it now? The only person you need to talk to is right here."

You rolled your eyes, because he was being outrageously whiny at the moment. "It's your sister," you said, sitting up a little more and feeling him pull away from you as you answered the phone, listening to Candace as she said that her and Cass were going shopping that evening, and that they were wondering if you wanted to come.

"Do I want to come shopping tonight?" you asked, "Umm...maybe, let me just.."

You cut yourself off, looking at Tyler who was now sitting up, both shaking his head frantically, and swiping his hand across the front of his neck, telling you to cut it out. You scowled at him, and he mouthed "I'm not here".

"Sorry," you said, clearing your throat. "I have plans. With another friend. But we should do something another night."

"Yeah, it was just last minute anyways," she said. "But we could go to a movie if you don't feel like walking around. Or I could come over and cut your hair if you want it done before you have the baby?"

"Yeah, that'd be great," you said, frowning at Tyler who still looked rather worried. "Can I call you tommorrow?"

"Yeah, sure," she said, and you did the "K, Love you, bye," you always did when you hung up the phone with her or Cassidy, and then you looked at Tyler.

"What the hell was that?" You asked, and Tyler looked at your phone as if to confirm you had hung up before he spoke.

"I didn't want her to know I'm here," he said, as if that wasn't obvious.

"Yeah, but why? Are you fighting or something?"

"No, we're not fighting," he frowned at you. "Just if she knows, then the whole family's gonna know, and then my mom's probably gonna want us to go over there for there for dinner. And I came to see you."

"Well, I would be there, too," you laughed "I was just gonna say your sisters could come over here."

"But I don't want to share you," he said "I'm gonna have to share you pretty soon anyway."

"You're gonna have to share me?"

"Yeah, with the baby," Tyler said, "And it's gonna suck for me because he's gonna be way cuter than me, so you're gonna forget about me."

"I'm not going to forget about you, you dork," you laughed.

"Well, I'm still gonna have to share you, which is fine, but I kinda want to enjoy just the two of us. For this last little bit," he leaned forward, his mouth going towards your belly, "no offense, come out when you're ready."

You laughed under your breath, "We'll still have one-on-one time. It's just gonna have to be when he's sleeping."

"I mean, he can watch Grey's Anatomy with us, that's fine," Tyler said, "We're just gonna have to cover his eyes during the sex scenes."

"Oh my god," you laughed. "Okay, so you really think you're gonna keep this a secret? What if someone took a picture of you?"

"I'll just say it wasn't me," he said, and you snorted. "It doesn't matter if they find out I was here, I just don't want them to know I'm here when I'm here. It's my fault she called anyways."

"What do you mean? You asked your sister to call me and ask me to go shopping?"

"Well, not exactly."

"Tyler..."

"I just mentioned that you sounded kind of lonely and bored, so if anyone wanted to do something with you. Not that they wouldn't anyways, I think people just didnt want to bug you because you're super pregnant."

"Is this why everyone's been calling and texting me?"

"Maybe," Tyler said, drawing out the word . "I didn't know if I was going to be able to come, but we got an extra day off practice to rest up for the playoffs, so..you get me."

"Well, I'm sorry you had to spend part of your day resting at the hospital."

"It's alright," Tyler said, "but if you want to give him a nudge out so we can go back to the hospital for him to come, that'd be cool. Until then, we'll just cuddle. And wait, I guess. I can see now why you're bored."

You were kind of happy when Tyler moved back to the side of the couch, because it ment you could lay your head on his chest, scooping your legs up on the couch as you watched T.V. You let your eyes fall shut, just resting them as you listened to the show, hearing Tyler fiddle with your watch, setting it up and sliding it gently onto your wrist and you smiled, and then you could hear him on his phone. You knew he wasn't really into watching this, but it was nice just to relax, feeling his hand rub over your back every now and again, or his legs shifting around you. You shut your eyes for probably about 20 minutes and then opened them up again to see the big reveal, catching a glance of Tyler's phone out of the corner of your eye.

"What are you looking at?" There was definately illustrated figures of people having sex.

Tyler jumped a bit at the sound of your voice, pretty much confirming that he thought you were sleeping. "Stuff," he said simply, continuing to scroll through it like you weren't watching.

"You're looking at sex positions for pregnancy."

"I'm just doing a little research."

"Research?"

"Mhmm.." he said, and you raised your head up to look at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Why are you looking up sex positions for pregnancy?"

"Really?" Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised. "You need me to explain it to you? Cause, I mean..."

"No, I do not need you to explain it to me," you scoffed.

Tyler smiled at you, and you became aware of his fingers sliding up and down your arm. "The doctor said sex is okay, and that it might help you go into labour. And you said you wanted him to come, I can help. It's kind of my responsibility."

"It's your responsibility?"

"Mhmm.." Tyler nodded. "I put him in there, so I kind of have to help get him out."

"It doesn't work like that, it's not a guarantee," you said, because you could just imagine him getting a determined look in his eye and just, like, straight up pounding you until you went into labour. And, just, like....no.

"No, I know, but it's fun, it's not like it's a chore," he said, his fingers running up your arm now, "and you said wanted to have sex with me, last night, so, unless you changed your mind..."

"I'm really pregnant, Tyler," you said, because of course you wanted to, but it hadn't really gone well when you tried last night.

"I know, but the doctor said, it's fine, we just gotta be creative," he said "and you gotta talk to me."

"Talk to you? I do talk to you."

"Sexually," he clarified, and now you were both staring at each other, eyes widening as if you were talking to each other by how big your could make your eyes, until you both started laughing.

"Okay, you've been better lately," Tyler said, "But, seriously, the first time we slept together, you said, like, two words. And I'm just over here, like, hello, am I doing this thing right?"

"Awe," you laughed, moving into him, "you were doing it right."

"I mean, I thought so but, it's always good to hear," he said, and you laughed again, closing the short distance between your lips. It had been different, then, though, when you were just supposed to be having sex to try and get pregnant and when you didn't really know him in that way. "You need to relax, too."

"Oh, I need to relax?"

"Mhmmm," Tyler said, "last time wasn't good for you, so you're probably going to be tense. You want to go take a bath while I go buy some lube?"

"Do I want to go take a bath while you go buy lube?" you laughed.

"Yeah," he said, "only because your bath tub is too small for both of us. You want me to go buy lube?"

"I don't....really think I need that?"

"Yeah, I don't either, I'm just thinking of ways to make it better for you," he said, grinning at you, "I did all my research."

You laughed, because he looked like he was expecting you to be proud of him for doing his homework, not like he was trying to encourage you into the bedroom, or get you in the mood for sex in any way.

"It might...take a while," you cautioned.

"So?" Tyler asked, "We've got all day. And we've got no dogs, for once. We should take advantage of that."

"You think so?"

"Mhmm," he said. And then you were kissing, sinking into him, his arms moving around you, and you let your hand drift around to the back of his head, your fingers playing with the curls at the base of his head, and he sighed against you, his leg going around the back of one of yours, as if to pull you closer and then his leg released, dropping slowly off the couch until you pulled away, both of you sighing as you looked at each other, like you didn't even need to say those words out loud, you just knew. Tyler had this sleepy, almost dreamy look in his eyes, that only made you want to kiss him more, the heat continuing to build between the two of you.

"Mmmit's so nice to be able to kiss you without eyes staring at us."

"I know," you smiled, sitting back slightly, and kind of loving the way his eyes darkened. "Want to go to the bedroom?"

"K," Tyler said, easily, "you don't like the couch?"

"I feel like I'm gonna smother you," you said.

"With your tits? Because I'm really okay with that."

You rolled your eyes, but you kind of couldn't stop the smile from coming to your face, and Tyler leaned towards you as you walked, pecking a playful kiss onto your cheek, and then his lips trailed lower, his breath warm over the shell of your ear before he kissed your neck, planting kisses downward until he latched on to the curve where your neck joined your shoulder.

"Hmm..you smell good," he murmured against your skin, and you could feel the hairs from his beard prick your skin. It was a little difficult to walk with his mouth connected to your neck but you managed, and he turned you fully when you entered your bedroom, coming to kiss you, and nibbling delicately on your bottom lip. You hit the switch to turn the lamp on your nightstand on, and Tyler started to shut the bedroom door, and then he looked at you and laughed, "I guess we can leave it open, for once."

And you smiled but, really, you were left wondering if that'd be a habit you'd need, just not for the dogs, but for your child, but you had no idea how your relationship would change, physically, once you had the baby. But you couldn't think about it for very long, because he was right there now, and he was cupping your face again, and then he kissing you, and you letting yourself get lost in him being here right now. You walked backwards towards the bed, trying to move the mess of blankets around with one hand, because Tyler was the last one up, and he clearly hadn't made the bed.

"Mmm.." he said, bending down now and trying to keep your lips connected at the same time, picking up the throw pillows that had been laid on the floor last night, tossing them near the headboard. "This is good, we needs lots of pillows."

"Do we?"

"Yeah," he said, laying you back against the pile of pillows he created, "I have lots of ideas. "

You just kind of raised your eyebrows, as he moved over you, supporting his weight with both arms, mouthing at the straps on your dress, pulling them down, his teeth scraping against your skin.

"Tyler," laughing when he shoved his face in between your chest and started trying to push your dress off with his chin. "That's not going to work."

"'Yeah, it is," he said, taking his hand and pulling the top of your dress down, and then his hand went to yours, pulling you up a little so he couch sneak his hand behind you, riding you off your bra.

He made a noise, and then he sat back on your legs, his hands coming to palm at your breasts, moving over you again to lower his mouth to your chest, kissing over your breasts, and then dipping his tongue into the divot created by your collarbone, rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger until he lowering his mouth to pull your nipple into his mouth.

"Unnff, " he said suddenly, pulling back and staring straight at your belly. "I don't think he likes what I'm doing to his mom."

"He's fine," you laughed.

"Tell me when he's asleep," Tyler said, moving to pull his shirt over his head, and then laying down next to you.

"He could be asleep now, he's just moving."

"Can we put something over you so he can't hear?"

"No?" You said, and Tyler took a deep breath, and you turned your head completely to the side to look at him. Tyler smiled at you, running his hand up your arm and then rolled back towards you, kneeling on the bed as he started to pull your dress down, kissing you where the fabric left your skin, over the side of belly, until it was free. He didn't remove your panties like you thought he would, instead kissing back up your body, until he reached your lips.

"You're so beautiful," he said, brushing the hair away from your face, his kind eyes just looking into yours.

"You're beautiful," you said, shutting your eyes like he was about to kiss you, but you just heard him laugh.

"Did you just call me beautiful?"

'Yeah."

"I mean, I'll take it, but I'm not as beautiful as you," he smiled against your lips, kissing you until the only sound you could hear where your lips against each other. He shifted, kissing you until you felt his cloth covered length press into your core, and you let out a little noise of surprise, which turned into a moan as he started rocking his hips against yours, and you felt your wetness start to seep into your panties, moaning as he moved against your clit, your back already arching off the bed.

"So sensitive," he murmured, his tongue circling your areola, and the he moved down your body again, placing a kiss just under your belly button, and then you felt his lips brush right over the tops of your panties, his warm fingers slowly pulling them away. His fingers ran between your lips, and he eyed you as his fingertips brushed your clit, slipping inside your wet cunt. Your entire body jolted, when you felt his mouth cover your clit, his fingers scissoring inside as if he was trying to gently stretch you.

"God, Tyler," you breathed, and he pulled away from you, grinning as he crawled back up towards you settling his lips by your ear.

"You want to get on your hands and knees for me?" He asked in a low voice, and you shivered unexpectedly, but you turned over. "You really liked it like this in the shower remember? That was really hot, the way you were screaming."

His lips brushed over yours, as he moved behind you, and you could hear him taking off his pants, his hand running across the top of your ass as he reached around you to grab a couple pillows from beside you, stacking them underneath you.

You felt like you were throbbing, waiting for him, as the tip of his cock teased against your entrance, his hands gripping your hips, and you rested forward on your forearms.

"Tyler, please don't tease me."

"I'm trying to be gentle but you're really not helping doing that."

"Well, be gentle, just —" you broke off when your breath caught in your throat, feeling him start to fill you. You let out a little sigh, shifting as you felt him stretch you, and he pulled out part way, this time moving into you a little further, and you inhaled a little sharply, when you felt him bumping against that part of you again.

"This is...not.." you stammered out.

"No?" Tyler asked, and you heard him suck in a breath as he pulled out from you slowly. "Sorry, I was trying to be gentle."

"You were, it's not your fault," you said, turning now to sit up on the bed and face him, your hand going out to run over his jaw in what you hoped would be reassurance, and you remembered his earlier words about communication. "I think it's too deep like that....with my cervix."

"Yeah, it's like, low, or something, I can feel it?"

"You can feel it?" You asked, and he nodded, and you weren't entirely sure how you felt about that.

"I mean, I hope it's that, and not the baby's head."

"It's not the baby's head, Tyler, I just got checked, remember? It's, just, there's a lot going on in that area," you gestured to your belly and pelvis, wondering now if this was even going to work, because this whole thing was just confusing and complex, and a lot. It was a lot, when you were supposed to be friends, and it, felt, it felt very intimate, and you looked at him, because you weren't entirely sure how he felt about that.

But his hand came to your knee, rubbing circles on your knee and you relaxed, smiling at each other.

"It's okay, that probably just doesn't work because I'm so big."

"You're not that big," you said before you even realized it, because you felt loose and giggling, and then you had to bite your lip not to laugh at Tyler's expression. "I mean, you're more, like average? You're really good in bed though."

"You think so?"

"Mhmm." You said.

"I think we're good together," he said, and you smiled against his lips as he kissed you, and then he moved to the foot of the bed, tugging gently against your ankles to pull you towards him. You barely had time to realize what was happening before he mouthed quickly at your thigh as if trying to warn you, and then his face was pressed back in your pussy again, this time his tongue flicking over your clit and you felt a rush of warmth. It was all you could do to grab a pillow from behind you, gripping it as you pressed into him, crying out as you came quickly.

Tyler pulled back, moving onto the floor and sliding you a little more towards him, starting straight at your cunt. "So pretty," he muttered, and you struggled to catch your breath, moving the pillows behind you so you had some way to support yourself. "See?" He said, placing a kiss on your knee, "I told you this would fun."

You smiled as he looked up at you, still kneeling by the foot of your bed. "Yeah, I dont think this is gonna work," he said, climbing back on the bed. "your bed's at a weird height."

"Oh, my bed?"

"Mhmm..." he said, coming to lay across from you. "It was fine on my bed."

"Well, I apologize for my bed."

"That's okay, I like your bed when you're in it."

"I like my bed when you're in it."

You both smiled, moving back into each other, sucking on his bottom lip a little, and loving the way he groaned into you, your hand slowly inching downwards over his abs, feeling his muscles flex underneath your touch, only to be stopped when you heard a little musical tone, coming from your hand.

"Oh, you hit your activity goal," Tyler said, looking down at the watch on your wrist, and you started giggling. "I set you up a really easy goal since you're moving for two."

For some reason that made you laugh even harder, and Tyler leaned in, brushing his nose against yours, "Stop laughing," he said, planting playful kisses all over your face, "First you tell me I'm not big, and then you laugh at me when I'm naked. You're making me self -conscious."

"Awe," you said, your hand trailing back down like it had been before, grasping his cock. "I told you it's good. And this feels really good when it's in me."

"Babe..." Tyler pleaded, kissing you hotly, moving over you until you were on your back, a pillow braced under you, making a "V" with your bodies. His hand ran down between your legs, lifting them up as he laid on his side, finding you. You watched his face, his eyes sliding shut as he entered you. He stilled, and you craned your neck trying to kiss him, settled for laying your hand over his, sighed when he started to move. It was good, really, but you felt almost disconnect from him in someway, like you were twisted in opposite ways, and you didn't feel like you could him enough. You tried to relax, to let go and focus on the sensation of him stroking your walls, but you could also feel him bumping your belly with his chest, and it was just..

"No?" Tyler asked, stilling, his fingers tracing circles on your hip bones.

"No, it feels, like— oh," you moaned, when he pulled out of you. "It feels like you're too far away from me."

"I was literally inside you, but okay," he raised an eyebrow, turning over on top of you, taking care not to lay on your tummy.

"I don't know, how to describe, I–"

He cut you off with a deep kiss, your body relaxing as his tongue moved into your mouth. "I told you to talk to me, you don't have to explain it, I just want you to feel good."

He rolled off behind you and you felt yourself turning to want to face him, but his hand steadied your hip, and he placed a kiss on your shoulder, sweeping your hair out of the way as he settled against you, his leg already wrapping around yours, and you pushed back, feeling him hard against your back.

Tyler reached around, sliding his hand between your legs, rubbing little circles on the your clit, and you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance, your walls contracting to try and pull him in.

"Just, slow..." you said.

"I gotcha," he said, continuing to rub on your clit, his lips brushing your shoulder as he slid into your warm, slick walls.

"Can you just .. stay...for a second?"

"Mhmm.." Tyler murmured against you, stilling yet deep inside you, and you let yourself give into that sensation of finally being filled like the way you had wanted. He moved his hand from between your legs, instead, running it over your hip and your side, and you felt goosebumps come up on your skin, suddenly realizing it was raining outside.

Just like your first time.

You smiled, turning your head to look at Tyler, and he caught your lips, kissing you delicately.

"Good?" He asked, muttering against your lips, and it was more like you could feel him asking you rather than hear him.

"Really good," you said, taking his top hand in yours while you arranged pillows with your other hand, one under your belly to support it, sliding your pregnancy pillow between your knees, thinking very much that this was not it's intended purpose at all.

"So this is the one?" He asked, starting to move just slowly, and you let out a little moan.

"Yeah," you said, your voice coming out breathy, "are you okay? Is this good?"

He laughed lightly in your ear, "Yes, it's always good with you."

You gripped your hand around his where it lay on your hip. "I don't like that I can't see you though," you added and Tyler made a noise, and you felt this front of his body wrap that much more around the back of yours.

"Close your eyes," he said in your ear, "you can see me like that."

And you could, the way his hair flopped in his face when he moved, the way his lips quirked when you did something that he really liked that took him by surprise, that deep far-off, intense look he'd get in his eyes, like nothing could break him away from what was happening right now, even though he was lost too, the way his head tilted back in pleasure, the way his whole body seemed to move as he tried to catch his breath.

"Fuck, babe, you're..babe, you're fucking throbbing," Tyler said in a rush, frantically, his hand pawing at your hip and then your breast, his face coming over yours like he was trying to call on top of you. "Do you have a vibrator?"

"What?" You laughed out in surprised, still focused on the sensations of him moving on and out of you, his hips already starting to stutter.

"Do you have a vibrator?" He repeated, and you didn't quite know what to think, because he brushed against your g-spot, and, go, that felt amazing, and the way his hand was splayed out, wide and warm against your breast...

"Mmmyeah," he managed to get out of you when he found your g-spot on his next movement.

"Where is it?" Tyler asked now, backing out of you, and you'd answer any question he asked you right now as long as he didn't stop.

"The nightstand."

"Your side or my side?" He asked next, and you had to open your eyes to check to make sure you were on your side of the bed.

"My side," you said, trying to reach for his hips because he was pulling way further out of you than he needed to, and then he was gone all together, and you whimpered at the loss of everything, and you heard him laugh from the far corner of the bed.

"Just relax, I'm coming back, I have an idea," he said, and it was almost funny, the way he rounded the bed so quickly, kind of bouncing like he was a little bunny or something. But it really wasn't funny because you'd finally just gotten everything the right way and now he was in front of you, your nightstand drawer open in front of him.

"Oooh, there's options," he said, and you swore your eyes could shoot laser beams right through his hand, which was held out over the drawer like he didn't which one to grab.

"The small one," you said, your brain too far gone to tell him to grab the small bullet vibe over the rabbit vibrator. Hell, he should be able to figure it out.

"K," he said, smirking as you saw him pull that one out of the bag, finally, and then he looked at you, his eyebrows raised, "We should talk about the other one, though, maybe later."

"Oh my god, Tyler, would you just...please."

He laughed again, pressing a couple of quick kisses to your lips and you shut your eyes,trying to keep that sensation on your lips as you felt him move around the bed, the dipping under his weight as you felt his hand on your hip, teasing your entrance for just a moment before he slid back in, your walls drawing him back in. He moved slowly, keeping up with your little pants of air, and his hand came over your breast, dangling the vibrator in front of you. "Can you do this, like you like?"

You took it from him, trying to concentrate on turning it on and to a low, steady setting because you were sensitive, and you really didn't think you even needed any extra stimulation, but it was incredibly difficult to do anything, your face contorting as he rocked in and out of you and in anticipation of what this would feel like, Tyler palming your breasts, his calloused hands hardening your nipple.

You pursed your lips together as you handed it back to his open hand, concentrating on trying not to drop it, and you jolted as the vibration hit your breast, which you weren't entirely sure if it was by accident or not. But then the vibrations were circling your breasts, and you felt them straight down to your core, hearing yourself moan out as your legs started to shake, crying out as you immediately went to ten.

"Jesus fucking christ," Tyler swore, right before you cried out, your voice cutting out as you came, and he rocked into you harder, a tear falling from your eye at the suddenness off it all as your orgasm faded away. "Are you okay?" He asked, slowly pulling the vibrator away from your skin, his movements straining inside of you, like he was trying to slow down, but really didnt want to. "Because I don't think..."

"Yeah," you said quickly, already building back up and you had the feeling that those smaller orgasms were going to cultivate into one big one, that would be just what you needed.

"Oh, thank fuck," Tyler breathed, rocking into you with renewed energy, that vibrator moving between your legs now, tapping it just lightly against your clit and you felt your legs spasm and you grew even wetter.

You felt Tyler shift the blankets on the bed over you a bit more, as if quiet the sounds of the vibrations, but you could barely hear anything, aside from the sound of blood coursing through your ears, and the whimpers and moans coming out of your mouth and the breathy pants coming out of Tyler's mouth were enough to drown out anything.

You were losing it quick, legs thrashing around on the bed, your body tending, little screams escaping your mouth now.

"Too much?"

"No, no, please don't stop," you said, a little more frantically than you meant, but you couldn't feel anything other than pressure, your eyes rolling back in your head, feeling wetness drip down your thighs, and your hand gripped Tyler's wrist, both because you needed something to hold onto and to keep him there.

From there, your moans became a mantra of "oh god, yes," and it all came together in one giant explosion,like you thought, and you heard Tyler groan from behind you, pulsing deep inside you, which only drew out your orgasm even longer, until you relaxed into the bed, focused on catching your breath,Tyler's hand coming to settle on your chest as if feeling your heart beat.

The room was filled with the sound of both of you breathing, for a moment, until a silly grin came across your face. "Oh my god," you breathed, turning your head back towards Tyler.

"Good?" He asked, just before you kissed him, and you were still smiling when you pulled back.

"I don't think I can feel my legs," you said, and he giggled, looking rather proud of himself, and you both stilled, turning to kiss him once more before he pulled out, allowing you to turn fully towards him, and his arms wrapped around you, kissing him properly this time, a mixture of smiles, and sweat, and sex hair.

You both gave a content sigh, and you snuggled against Tyler's chest, eyes feeling a little drowsy.

"You still okay? Everything the same? Other than your jelly legs?"

"A little cramping," you admitted, "it happens sometimes."

"Does that mean it was good?"

"I don't think that makes a different, but it was good. It was really good."

"Yeah it was," he said, his hand rubbing soothingly up and down your back, "can I have your hand for a sec?"

You weakly lifted your arm up, and then felt him tapping away on your watch.

"What are you doing?"

"Ordering a pizza."

For some reason that struck you as hilarious, and you broke out into giggles.

"Stop laughing," Tyler said, grinning as he flipped you over, kissing your lips.

"It was funny."

"It was funny that I thought we might need food?" Tyler said, and you both laughed, "and that we should take a nap, until it gets here?"

"Mhmm.." you said,laughing against him, rolling back onto your side. "Thank you babe," you said, not really sure if you were thanking him for the orgasm, or the dinner idea, or just...everything.

"You're welcome," Tyler said, pointedly adding, "babe."

"What, so you can call me babe but I can't call you babe?"

"You can call me whatever you want," he said, adding once again, "babe."

And that got you going again, and Tyler sighed dramatically.

"Stop laughing," he said, burying his face in your neck and then popping his head up, adding, "babe" both of you laughing intermittently, growing further and further apart, until you fell asleep.


	46. Chapter 46

Mmmgood morning," Tyler said, nuzzling into you, pretty much as soon as you opened your eyes.

"Hi," you said, your voice a little hoarse from the morning. "You're awake before me?"

"Yeah, well, I pretty much fucked you to sleep, so..." Tyler said easily, stretching so the sheet slid down his bare chest.

"Oh my god," you laughed, because you could not believe that was one of the first things he said to you this morning. However, you supposed you should just be happy he said 'good morning' first. It was kind of true, though, because you had, again, after you had had your pizza and cuddled for a bit, but it was a much more subdued, relaxed version of your earlier encounter.

And it was, kind of true, that you'd slept a little better, although you'd been awake plenty of times in the night but, judging by the clock, you'd been asleep for the last two and a half hours straight, which was more than usual.

"I'm surprised he's still in there," Tyler said, "he's been kicking me for the past, like, 45 minutes. I think he's trying to find the way out."

"You could have moved away from us."

"No, you were laying on me. You don't wake a pregnant woman sleeping, everyone knows that."

"Well, you get really grumpy when you don't get enough sleep."

Tyler scrunched his face up and he looked so cute that you couldn't resist reaching up, and placing a little kiss on his cheek. He smiled, lifted his head off the pillow, puckering and then you smiled, pressing your lips to his.

"Uh...he's kicking me again," Tyler whined, "I don't think he likes me when I touch you."

"Well, then he must really hate me because he kicks me all day long."

"No, he loves you, he's trying to protect you and keep other boys away," Tyler said, and before you knew it he had disappeared under covers and you could feel his mouth pressed around your belly button. "Hi, hello, yes. I know you can't see, but I'm being nice to her. I promise."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"If you want to come out, come towards the sound of my voice," he continued, and then you felt him pull away and poke at your belly button, talking to you now, his head sliding back out from under the covers. "I can't believe he's going to fit out of there, that's so weird. Does your belly button just get all stretchy?"

You just raised your eyebrows, and Tyler gave you a curious look. "What? That's not how it works? That's what my mom told me."

"I wish," you sighed.

"Are you nervous?" Tyler asked, snuggling his head on your chest now, and it struck you how comfortable it felt, just having a normal conversation, even though you were aware that you were both still naked from the night before.

"I mean, yeah, but I kind of don't really have a choice now," you laughed, and ran your hand over your belly. "It'll be fine, it'll be all worth it. I really, really don't want a c-section though."

"Isn't that easier? They just cut him out of you?"

"No? It's major surgery," you said, shuddering at the fact. And, then, you weren't even entirely sure who you'd be allowed to have with you, if anyone, and you really wanted all your people there. Not to mention, you didn't want to have to deal with recovering from surgery while trying to look after a newborn.

"Okay, okay, no c-section then," Tyler said, "Belly button births only."

You laughed, and the slowly started making your way to the side of the bed.

"Mmmmno, I'll get up," Tyler said, even as you sat up, the blankets bunched around you as you reached for your robe. Tyler sat up too, trying to wrap his arms around you and keep you in the bed. "Stay here, I'll be right back," he said, kissing the back of your head as he crawled over you to get up, his bare ass bumping against your belly.

You weren't entirely sure why he felt the need to crawl over you rather then get out on the other side of the bed like a normal person.

"Your clothes are on the chair," you said, because you'd picked them off the floor in the middle of the night, watching him put on his boxer briets out of the corner of your eye as you got up and moved past him.

"I said don't get up."

"I have to pee," you said, to which be immediately jumped out of the way, and you rolled your eyes, realizing that you were never going to live that down.

"Go back to bed after though, k?" He asked, and when you came back out of the bathroom you did as he asked, trying not to smile as you heard him rummaging in the kitchen. You glanced at the clock, realizing that you only had a couple hours left with him, but you were actually okay with it this time, knowing that it wouldn't be long before you got another day to spend with him. Still, you buried your head in the pillow he'd been using, inhaling the scent of him, and letting yourself close your eyes for just a few minutes.

You were still awake when you heard the sound of clinking mugs coming closer, and you say yourself up a bit, seeing Tyler somehow manage to be carrying in two plates in one hand and two mugs in the other, one of which was your MILF mug, which you grabbed when he it towards you.

"You made me breakfast?" You asked, taking a sip of the coffee and setting your plate up on your stomach, Tyler coming back around to the other side of the bed with his.

"If I can get credit for making you breakfast when I just heated up what you made yesterday, then sure," he said, frowning at you as he climbed back it to bed. "Why are you wearing a bra?"

"My boobs kind of hurt, I need something to hold them in."

"I could think of lot more fun ways to do that," he grinned at you.

"Just eat your breakfast," you said, cutting up your waffle with your fork, Tyler giggling, and you looked over at him in question.

"Are you using your baby as a table?"

"Yes," you said, looking at him as if to say, 'do you have a problem with that?'.

"Give me blankets, I'm cold," Tyler said, and you sighed, shifting over so he could have some.

"Maybe if you put clothes on you wouldn't be cold."

"I didn't bring extra clothes, I'm trying to stay clean," he said, "it's a good thing you've wanted me naked pretty much the whole time I've been here."

You tried not to roll your eyes, steadying your plate as you reached to take a sip of coffee.

"How's the mug?"

"Great," you said in a silly voice, turning the letters to face him because he really seemed to be enjoying it.

And then you thought he was grabbing his own coffee mug but he came back with his phone, holding it up like he wanted to take a picture. "Tyler, no," you said sternly, wrapping your robe around your front a little more, because you'd only thrown on a light pink sleeping bra, and it didn't exactly leave anything to the imagination.

"Awe, it's no fun if you can't see your nipples."

You glared at him and he laughed, and then tried to rest his plate on your chest.

"Tyler," you laughed, which of course shook the plate.

"I need a table, stop," he said, and you tried your best to ignore him, trying to eat, but he bumped you, and now you had maple syrup on your belly.

"Tyler!" You laughed.

"It's not my fault," he said, "it fell off your plate."

As if to prove he was in the right, he reached his finger out, swiping the syrup off your bare belly, and then sticking his finger in his mouth to lick it off. "See, I fixed it."

"Thanks," you said sarcastically.

"You're welcome," he grinned. He restèd the side of his body against yours, both of you eating your breakfast in a comfortable silence. Which worked out fine, until you were done and went to move your plate, and then you heard Tyler whine, "Babe..."

"What?"

"You're getting me all sticky," he said, and you realized that you were, just a bit, your previously sticky belly sticking against his side. Tyler leaned forward, resting his cheeky on the fabric of your open robe, so his mouth was near your bare belly. "I take back what I said, stay in there, you come out and your mom's gonna drop food all over you."

"You don't have to be that close to talk to him, you know," you laughed. It was a little ridiculous, how every time he had to talk to the baby, he literally had to smash his face into your belly.

"Yeah, but..." Tyler said, his tongue darting out to lick the maple syrup off your belly.

"Tyler!"

"Mmmsorry," he said, making his way up your body, pressing his lips to yours, until you could taste maple syrup and coffee. "Here."

"Thanks," you said.

"Mhmm," he said, kissing you softly, his hands fingers trailing over your belly. "We should shower, before I have to go."

But he kept kissing you, just softly, not like he was really trying to do anything other than kiss you, and then he pulled away reluctantly, looking at the watch on your wrist. "We gotta shower," he said, kissing you once more before he got up, "Just shower," he added, as if trying to caution you.

He kind of reached out to take your hand, helping you up off the bed, and your hand went to your back as you followed him towards the bathroom.

"Your back hurt?" Tyler asked, looking at you asked he reached around to turn the shower on.

"Yeah, a bit," you said, pausing a bit when your belly tightened a little, and then you started undressing.

"C'mhere," Tyler said, reaching for you and pulling you into the shower with him, his arms coming around you, and he took the showerhead off, directing the spray onto your lower back. "That help?"

"Yeah."

"It's not too hot?"

"No."

"Good," Tyler said, inching as close to you as possible, kissing you even as he replaced the showerhead and the warm water pulled over you, the familiar smell of your body wash filling up the shower. You laughed as he made a big show of soaping up your entire belly and, then, finally, you were both coming out of the shower and you wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel, going back into the bedroom and going to look through your dresser for clothes, sensing Tyler getting dressed behind you.

It was fine, until your bumped against his warm back, and then the next thing you knew, you were spinning back towards him, your hand going around the back of each other's heads, kissing each other deeply.

"Mmmfuck," Tyler said, breaking away with a gasp, his hand trailing down to your ass and giving you a quick squeeze.

"We have to go," you said, trying to force your body to pull away, but it wasn't really seeming to respond.

"No," he said, dipping his head to kiss all over your collarbone, and between your breasts, "we have to be quick."

And then you were both getting rid of each other's underwear which was the only thing that you had managed to put on yet.

"Tyler," you panted as he continue to kiss you, his hand trailing downwards, moving between your legs, and you found yourself putting your foot up on the chair, opening yourself up, which he seemed to take as the sign you intended, his fingers pushing inside you, curving for your g-spot, and you broke with a moan. You kissed him even deeper, trying to pull him closer.

"Tyler," you said breathlessly again, his thumb moving in to rub circles on your clit.

"Yeah," he said, just as breathlessly, and, all of sudden you couldn't even remember what you were going to say. In fact, you didn't even think you were going to say anything at all, your lips moving away from his, and running your lips across his jaw until you kissed that spot on his neck, right underneath his ear that you had learned always made him let out this really breathy moan you were obsessed with.

"Babe," Tyler moaned, his mouth latching onto yours and his movements becoming more and more frantic, the muscles in his hand tensing even though you could tell he was trying to be soft. You were glad, though, because you needed him, especially when you felt his hard length press up against your thigh.

God, you needed him.

"Sorry," Tyler said, "I wish I had more time."

But you found you didn't care.

Not when he moved around you, hand splayed across your upper thigh and your hip, raining kisses all over your neck, as you felt him at your entrance, his skin warm behind you, and he smelled warm and clean, and you caught yourself holding your breath as he pushed inside, only because it was intense, it was a lot, but it also felt like you were complete, in a way that you hadn't ever felt before, not having a quickie standing up in your bedroom, feeling both like time had stopped for the two of you, but also like you didn't have enough time.

You moaned his name again, and he breathed out, "yeah, yeah," slowing the snaps of his hips down, his chin at your shoulder as he tried to look at you, his lips going to your temple. "You okay?"

You didn't think you could speak, so you turned your head, finding his lips, and kissing him deep, which seemed to tell him all he needed to know, his movements shallower than they had been month before but his pace quick, and it seemed to be working for both of you with the way you were breathing heaving into each other's mouths, feeling heat break out all over your body.

His arms were wrapped hard around you felt his leg come up, setting his foot on the chair next to yours, as if using his leg to try and help support you, as he kept up the movements of his hips, and you felt completely surrounded by him, even though you were in the middle of the room, out in the opened.

"Hmmm...fuck...you gotta," Tyler said, settling his mouth against the bare skin of your shoulder, whispering "touch yourself".

So you moved your hand down between your legs, rubbing circles on your clit, feeling your leg shake against his.

"God, that's so hot," he said, "fuck, you're so hot."

His lips connected with yours against, and it was a flurry, both of you chasing your high, for what felt like ever, your moans and the sound of your bodies connecting filling the room until you both erupted, a series of tensing and releasing, and shuddering, your lips moving to connect, and you felt Tyler collapse against your back, both of your breathing for breath together, leaning against the chair.

"God," Tyler said, kissing you again, and you knew that you couldn't start again, you had to stop now, you had to get dressed, and you had to take them to the airport.

"We shouldn't have done that," he said, when he was pulling his pants back on, looking up at you in your bra, and your heart dropped out of your chest, your eyes feeling watery and vulnerable.

"What?" you spoke.

"I have to go, like, now," he said, stepping towards you now, "And if that made you go into labour..."

You exhaled a laugh, his hand coming to your belly now, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead as he held it there. "You'll have to hold him in there until I get back."

Which could be, which could be months, really, depending on how far into the playoffs they made it.

"It doesn't quite work like that," you laughed.

"You can do it," he said, firmly, "I believe in you."

You laughed again, moving into his body as he wrapped his arms around you in a hug.

And you stayed connected, in the car, as you drove him to the airport, Tyler practically sitting sideways in his seat, running his hand over your arm, his hand reaching for yours at every red light. Even though, even though you wanted to kill him, just a little bit, because he'd told you his flight was actually an hour earlier than what he'd told you before, even though he insisted he would be fine. But, you were not going to let this whole surprise trip of his make him late for practice. Nope.

He reached for you too, when you parked, taking your hand and rubbing his thumb over it, his connecting softly with yours, and you smiled.

"No tears?" he asked, raising his finger to your cheek, and you shook your head slowly, still smiling.

"It's 10 days. I can handle 10 days."

"Yeah, and then I'll sex that baby out of you, 'k?"

"Tyler!"

"What?" he laughed, "The doctor says it's good. I kinda have to. I'll just have to tell my family and everyone I can't see them because you need my dick. But then you gotta have him in the couple days I'm here."

"Tyler!"

He laughed, and then you laughed. And then you smiled, and he smiled back at you, and turning in his seat even more to face you.

"Thank you for coming," you said quietly, both of your hands coming over his.

"Thank you for having me," he said, cracking an easy smile now. "It would have been really embarrassing if you told me I couldn't stay with you."

You smiled easily back at him, hearing the sound of rain falling around him. And it felt cozy, warm in your car with him, and it would be so easy just to lock the door, and drive away, and not let him leave. He wasn't making movements to get out, either, and you knew if he said he wanted to stay, or he wished he could stay, you would lose it. So, you were happy when his hand came out to cup your cheek and he smiled, and then looked at your eye before he leaned in, your head tilting to the opposite side to meet him in the middle.

He pulled away, slowly, as if you were trying to keep just one cell of your lips connected for as long as possible, but then he leaned back in, kissing you just once more, before he reached down to grab his bag.

"I'll call you when I get home."

"Say hi to the dogs for me," you said, "tell them I love them".

Tyler smiled at that. "But what about me?"

"I love you, too."

"Good, because I love you," he said, his bag in his hand now, half turned as if to leave, his other hand slowly dropped from yours.

"One more?" you asked, and he smiled, leaning in to kiss you just once more before he left.

**

You thought you could make it ten days, you really, really did.

But you made it eight.

You missed him, of course, but it was nothing like the need that you felt now, your hands shaking as you held the phone.

Your eyes were watering, because you'd already called him once and he hadn't picked up. You told yourself he could be in the shower, or maybe he was driving, or maybe he'd taken the dogs outside and forgotten his phone.

You knew he would call you back once he saw he missed your call, but you only made it about two minutes after you heard his voicemail message before you hit the redial button.

Actually.

Actually, you remembered, as you looked out the window, he had a game tonight. Which meant, he might just be leaving morning skate. Or maybe he was just getting home. Or maybe he was putting something together to eat.

Whatever it was, it felt like he was living in a different universe than you, even though he was really just an hour behind you. When, on the third ring you heard him pick up, you felt your heart steady.

"Hey, babe, hang on one sec, okay?" You heard Tyler say, and you didn't even have time to answer him, so you just kept pacing, hearing voices and laughter in the background, followed by the sound of a door, and then there was silence. "Sorry," he said, the moment your eyes slid shut, and you took a deep breath. "I'm just at the rink. What's up?"

You didn't respond, putting all your focus onto inhaling and exhaling, your free hand coming to run over your face, and the settle on your back.

"Babe? You there? Or did you forget you called me again?"

"Ohhhh," you groaned out, because if he dared hung up on you, you were going to be pissed.

"What? What are you doing?" He asked, his voice hushed.

"Oh my god, it hurts," you managed, before going back to your exaggerated breathing.

"What hurts, babe?" Tyler asked now, his voice soft, and you took a couple more deep breaths before you rested your hand forward on the kitchen counter, trying to stead the shaking.

"I think I'm in labour," you said.

"And you're calling me?" He said, more of a declaration of shock rather than a question. "Babe, I'm not there, I can't do anything. You need to call....someone else. Do you want me to call someone for you?"

"No, my sister's driving over here right now, and she's gonna take me to the hospital, I think. Danielle's gonna meet us there."

"What do you mean you think you're going to the hospital?"

"I mean, I'm not sure if I'm in labour."

"Well, you should go to the hospital. Did your water break? Like actually?"

"No, but it doesn't always right away."

"Well, how do you know you're in labour?"

"I don't," you said, opening up your cabinets because you probably should have something to eat, but you felt frazzled, and nothing looked good, "remember how I said, last night, my back was really hurting?"

"Mhmm.."

"It never really stopped, and I just felt, not right. And then I was having contractions, in the middle of the night, and they got regular this morning, and didn't go away, I tried taking a shower but it didn't help. I called the hospital, and they said to come in when they've been 5 minutes apart for an hour."

"Well, how far apart are they?"

"5 minutes."

"Babe, you need to go to the hospital."

"I am," you said, pacing now. "I'm really nervous."

"Don't be nervous."

"How am I supposed to not be nervous?"

"That's what you've told me every time I've gone to the hospital, and it worked out fine."

"Because you were having surgery, Tyler, you didn't have to do anything but let them put you to sleep," you said, running a hand through your hair. "I have to actually do stuff. And it's a really big deal."

"I know it's a big deal," he said, his tone understanding, "but you're ready for it. You'll do great."

"Tyler, I don't..."

"I do," he said, "you'll do what you need to do what's best for him."

"It hurts."

"I know, I'm sorry," he said, and you wanted to cry, because he sounded sad that he couldn't do anything for you.

"Tyler," you started, looking out the window just as you sister pulled up, "Nicole's here."

"Good," he said, "that's good. I'm just getting ready to head home."

'Will you hug the dogs for me?" You asked, realizing that you really wished they were here, too, to stroke their fur, and feel their heartbeats, and for you to focus on matching your breathing to theirs.

"Yes, I will hug the dogs for you," he laughed.

"Okay, okay," you smiled, watching your sister get out of her car, and you walked towards the front door to meet her. "Tyler?"

"Yep, I'm here."

"If you call me or text me, I might not be able to answer, I don't know how long it's going to take, or what. So, if I don't answer, don't freak out, alright?"

"You mean, because you might be busy having a baby?"

"Yeah," you answered, and he laughed a little. "But text Nicole, or Danielle. They'll answer you. Unless, I'm, like, pushing him out, maybe, I don't know."

"I know, babe, I got it," Tyler said, "Don't worry about me. Just worry about you and him. And try not to worry so much."

But you were worried, indeed, because an hour later, you were being admitted to the hospital. Which wasn't worry, really, but the fact that you were in a hospital gown, about to have an I.V. put into your arm, a huge monitor strapped to your belly was.

You really hated needles.

And Danielle and Nicole had both shown up in matching Aunt Squad t-shirts, which was awesome and made you smile, but still didn't take away from the fact that you hated needles.

"Are you sure mom's coming?" You asked Nicole, your eyes watering up again, because you felt so emotional. And you really, really wanted your mom.

"Yeah, she's on her way," she answered, squeezing on your shoulder.

"Deep breath," the nurse prompted, and you forced yourself to look away, looking at Danielle and your sister, and then you thought about how you were so used to Tyler giving you needles, and he always held you close and steady.

And you pulled your arm away, before she could even touch you.

"I'm sorry," you said, looking at all the faces who were around you, the nurse checking the monitor as if to see if you were having a contraction.

"Y/N," Danielle said, moving in around you, connecting her eyes with yours as if to try and get you to relax, her hand rubbing on your shoulder.

"I'm just gonna go grab a smaller needle," the nurse said, kindly, leaving the room. And, of course, you had another contraction, gripping the rails of the bed even though you were offered hands, leaning your head back in the pillow as you breathed through it.

Danielle moved to the end of the bed once it was over, starting to rub your feet, and you tried to relax.

"Mom," you said, smiling when you saw her in the doorway, and Danielle scooted over, letting your mom come and hug you.

"She has to have an I.V.," Nicole whispered.

Your mom looked at you, smoothing the hair out of your face like she used to do when you were sick, her touch always comforting and cooling.

And you couldn't put into words how to tell her.

That you hoped you be half of as good a mom as she was.

That you wanted to make sure this little guy had everything he ever needed just like she did, that he grew up to be a good person.

You wanted to be as strong as her, in doing in all on her own, and doing her best to make you and Nicole never feel like you were missing anything.

You wanted to love him more than anything. You already did.

"It's for your baby, okay, sweetie? You can do it, for him."

And you did, focusing on the sound of his heartbeat, rather than thinking about the needle going into your skin.

"One of you told Tyler I'm here, right?" You asked, after some time, resting on your side between contractions.

You thought, you were hoping, that he'd Facetime you. Or at least call you, while you still had time between contractions and were mostly waiting, still allowed to eat pudding and Jell-O. Maybe. Maybe if you were still able to function by this evening, you could watch his game, and at least see him.

On your next contraction your mom and Danielle surrounded you, both doing that breathing you'd learned in labour class, and your sister reached out, wiping your eyes once you were able to breathe normally again.

"Look at your phone," Danielle said, smiling, and you searching in the blankets to find it, smiling when you saw a text from Tyler, a picture.

He had all three of the dogs, Marshall and Cash laid out on the couch while Gerry was sitting in front like he was expecting a treat, and there was a little sign propped up against the older dogs' paws, which said "You Got This, Mama", in handwriting you recognized as Tyler's, complete with a little heart at the end.


	47. Chapter 47

It hurt.

It hurt, like, a lot.

And, yes, somehow, you were only 3-4 cm dilated, so you were tasked with walking the halls of the hospital, with your I.V. pole, trying not to flash anyone with a slip of your hospital gown.

It was awkward, too, because you would be in the middle of a conversation, and had to stop because you were having a contraction and, really, the only thing you could do was shut your eyes and try to breathe.

People kept offering to hold your hand, too, but you didn't see how that would help.

"Sorry, you guys," you said, starting to walk again. Except, you were really waddling this time. And now like when Tyler told you you were waddling, but because the baby had dropped so low, you almost felt like he was going to fall out. Which would, really, help make things easier.

"You're in labour," Nicole pointed out, "Don't apologize for being in labour."

"I know, I just–" you started, but you didn't really know how to finish it. Because you felt excited and frazzled, and anxious, not quite know what to think or do. But also, really, really struck with the idea that he would be here by this time tomorrow.

You couldn't wait.

"Does it help, walking around?" Danielle asked.

"It helps, not being on my back," you said, rubbing your hand along it. "I think I have butt labour, too."

"Butt labour?" Your mom asked.

"Yeah, is that a thing?"

"I mean, I've never had it, but it could be," she said, making a face like she could sympathize with the pain. "He's probably just moving down, sweetie, he's getting closer each time."

You tried to nod, rubbing your back, thankful when you rounded the corner back to the room. If you were being honest, though, it was mostly because you had left your phone in the room as to stop yourself from checking it every two minutes.

Your heart sunk, a little but, when you saw nothing, so you sent him a text to say he could call you when he had a chance. You knee he had a game tonight, and that he'd be busy, but you thought maybe he'd be able to call you as he was eating, or maybe before you took a nap.

Hell, he called you from the rink when you were at your baby shower.

Or he called his sister, actually, but still.

You wondered if maybe it was too hard for him to talk to you and not be able to be there. Even though he hadn't seemed bothered when you called him, you could hear in his voice that it was hurting him to not be able to do anything to help you. And you knew, too, when you thought that you'd gone into labour, he seemed nervous getting everything together and then he seemed on edge the whole time you were being checked.

If he was worried about bothering you, you hoped your text might put that thought to rest, because you just wanted to hear from him. Again.

You smiled, looking at that picture that he sent you of the dogs once more, and then you sat on the birthing ball, bouncing a little and rocking back and forth, eating the Jell-O you were brought, which made you throw up after only a couple bites, seeming w99w9ay, way too sweet.

Then you went into the shower, trying to let the warm water soothe your back, which helped a little. But, mostly, you found yourself on your knees, laying forward over the ball, rocking yourself back and forth and your breathed through your contractions, blocking everything else out of your mind.

Your mom was settling a cool washcloth on the back of your neck, and you were resting your head on the ball, letting your eyes shut for just a moment, and then you heard Danielle say, "hey, you made it," followed by a very familiar voice saying "yeah, I did," and you blinked open your eyes as you turned to towards the sound of the voice, seeing Tyler standing there, in jeans and a zip-up hoodie, his hat turned backwards, cheeks flushed red like he'd been running, but he looked casual with a bag slung over his shoulder, just standing there in the doorway.

"What are you..." you asked, shaking your head as if that would somehow make sure you weren't just hallucinating him. "What are you doing here?"

"Pretty sure I'm here for the same reason you are," he smiled.

"How did you get here?"

"I took one of those big metal things that fly through the sky," he said, scrunching his eyes up at you and shaking his head, "It's pretty fast, for travel, these days. You took one not long ago, remember?"

"Yeah, but," you said, blinking again "you were just in Dallas. You texted me."

"That was, like, six hours ago, Y/N," Danielle said.

"It was?" You asked wearily, looking at the other women in the room. "You guys should go get something to eat."

And then you turned your attention back to Tyler, who had taken a couple steps inside the room now. "But you..." you started, and he was looking at you in anticipation of what you were going to say. "But you have..."

"I have what?"

"Hang on," you said, holding up your finger as if you'd just be a minute, turning your head forward and resting your upper body on the ball, as the pain gripped you once again, letting out a groan.

"Good, deep breaths," your mom reminded you and you tried to put your energy on that, sensing the movement around you, and then next thing you knew Tyler was kneeling next to you on the floor, his hand rubbing up and down your back in an attempt to be soothing.

"She might not want to be touched when she's having a contraction," Danielle said, because it was true, you didn't really like it but, somehow, it wasn't really as bothersome when it was Tyler's hand.

"Oh," you heard Tyler saw softly, and his hand moved off of you, hovering above you, but he made no attempt to back away from you, and you felt him watching you, until the pain backed off, and you were able to look at him, his eyes already glassy looking like he was going to cry, which was bad, because if he cried then you were going to cry. And you didn't really need anything else to make you cry today.

"Are you okay?" Tyler asked in a soft voice, and suddenly it felt like you were the only two people in the room.

"Yeah," you answered. "I was so mad at you."

"You were mad at me?"

"Yes, I told you to call me and you didn't."

Tyler frowned, reaching for his pocket. "I didn't see, I was just trying to get here in time. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm not mad now. I didn't know you were coming, I just wanted to talk to you," you said, your voice breaking a little now as you tried not to cry.

"Well, you can talk to me now, babe, I'm here," he said, looking down at you, and suddenly it felt like you were the only two people in the room.

"You didn't know he was coming?" Nicole asked, from behind you and you turned to look at her, "Why didn't you say something? We would have told you."

"Because I thought he was busy, he has a game tonight," you said, and then looked back at Tyler, "you're supposed to have a game tonight."

"Yeah, well, funny thing about hockey is there's lots of games in a season," he said, "this kind of happens only once."

You smiled back at him, and the bright fluorescent light reflected in his eyes and the movement in the hallway not seeming so loud and annoying as it did before. "I'm really glad you came," you said softly, lifting your head towards him, your eyes on his lips, and Tyler laughed, bending down and kissing you on the forehead, and then you remembered that you weren't alone.

"I'm glad I got here before he did," Tyler responded.

"It's really okay that you're here?" you asked again, "I know it's not the playoffs, but..."

"Yes, it's fine," Tyler said again, "The team's flying out here tomorrow, and I'll already be here for the game the next night. He'll probably be here by then, right?"

"Yeah, I'm —what did they say last time? 5?" you asked, looking at your mom.

"5 to 6 centimetres, they said," she responded.

"What does that mean?" Tyler asked you.

"At 10 centimetres, I can push."

"Oh, okay," Tyler said, and then got up, quickly hugging everyone else in the room. "How's it been going?"

"She's been doing really well," you heard your mom say after Tyler had commented on her 'grandma squad' shirt.

"Tyler," you said, again from the floor.

"Yeah, babe? What do you need?" He asked, walking back down over to you and crouching down beside you.

"They made me have an I.V.," you said, lifting your hand up to show him where it was capped.

"Yeah, that's okay," he said gently, resting your hand back down. "Don't look at it."

"And I threw up. And Dr. Stevens, she got brought this giant needle thing," you said, moving your hands several feet apart, "and she stuck it up my vagina to break my water." The last few words broke out in a bit of a sob.

"She what?" Tyler said, like he couldn't actually believe that, "A real needle?"

You nodded solemnly.

"It was not a real needle," Nicole cut in, "It was, like, a big stick. It looked like a knitting needle."

"Nicole, how would you like it if someone did that to you?" Tyler said, wrapping his arms around your back. "I'm so sorry, babe, I won't let her do that to you again."

You relaxed, smiling and feeling slightly happier now, not just because he was there, but because he was agreeing with you about how much this sucked and complaining with you, rather than just telling you how great you were doing. Which was awesome, too, but you needed the balance.

"You guys should go get food," you said, looking behind you, and then back at Tyler, "Did you eat? You should eat."

"She's hungry," Danielle laughed.

"No. I mean, I am, but I think that you guys should go eat, it's going to be awhile."

You went to stand up, Tyler's hand kind of awkwardly going to your hip, like he watched to help you but didn't know if he should touch you.

"You're gonna have another one," your mom said, and you froze right as it hit you, letting your eyes fall shut. Tyler's hand stayed on your hip, and you turned towards him, your hand going on his shoulder, letting him support some of your weight, swaying a little back and forth.

"You alright?" Tyler asked, when you lifted your head up after it passed, his hand moving slowly up and down your back.

"Yeah, sorry," you said, your hand drifting down and then up through your hair as you made your way back to bed. "Could one of you please get my headband from my bag, and help me fix my hair before you go?"

You hated your hair being in your face when you were running or working out and, apparently the same thing was true when you were in labour. Danielle went into your bag, grabbing it, as Tyler moved around you, his hand going to the back of your ponytail, pulling your elastic free, his fingers combing through your hair.

"I meant one of them," you said, laughing, "you have to stay with me, you already ate."

"Fine, I won't make your hair nice," he said, ruffling the gown on your arm, and then he placed a couple of kisses on your temple. "I'm just gonna go to the washroom, okay? I'll be right back."

"Okay," you said, your mom pulling your hair back while you got Danielle to also pass you some chapstick and tinted moisturizer, to which your sister gave you a very pointed look, her eyes darting to where Tyler had gone, as if trying to make a point that you were trying to get pretty for him, as if you really cared how you looked right now when, really, your skin just felt dry.

You were having another contraction when Tyler came back, and you noticed him off in the corner as you rolled onto your side, breathing through it, Danielle getting you your wet cloth again.

"Okay?" Tyler asked, yet again from the foot of your bed as you lifted your head up to look at him. He'd taken off his hoodie, and he was still wearing a black t-shirt like he'd been before, only you noticed that there was a hockey player on it with his arms in the air, the saying "He shoots, he scores," written above it, and "All Hail the Baby Maker" written in giant letters beneath.

You immediately started laughing so hard you couldn't breathe. "Where did you get that?" You asked in between laughs.

"Do you like it?" He asked, laughing as he put his hands on his hips as if to show it off. "The aunt squad got it for me."

You were howling with laughter now, tears starting to run down your face. "That's the best thing I've ever seen in my whole life," you laughed, "Oh my god, you're gonna make me pee my pants."

"Not again," Tyler sighed. "They've got diapers here, right?"

"Tyler!"

"Wait, what happened?"

"She peed herself and she told me her water broke and I had to take her to the hospital."

"Tyler!" You said again, wishing you had something to throw at him, but you were laying on the pillows, and it would be too much work to get up, so you just settled for swatting your arm in his general direction, as he giggled and backed away, crossing his arms as if to protect himself.

"Wait, you told me you thought your water broke?" Danielle said.

"I did!"

"And then I had to clean it off the floor," he said, making a face.

"I did not ask you to!" You said, and he laughed. "You're never going to let me forget it, are you?"

"Nope," he grinned at you. "It was scary, driving you. This is how I'm getting back at you."

"That's what I said!" Nicole said. And now both Tyler and your sister were talking about how traumatic it was to drive with a woman on the passenger seat being in labour. Even though you pointed out that you were not in labour when Tyler was driving you.

"Can you guys please leave before I have another contraction? I want you to get back before he gets here."

Mainly, you just wanted Tyler and your sister to stop ganging up on you. Luckily, after Tyler had asked if there was anything he needed to know about what to do and your mom had delivered a fresh cup of ice chips with clear instructions to make sure all three of them had their phone volume turned up all the way, they left.

Tyler smiled at you, grabbing his bag and pulling a chair closer to your bed. "I bought you something."

"Wha..?" You asked, followed by, "oh my god, it hurts."

Tyler stood up, half crouching and half bending over the bars of the bed, his forehead practically pressed to yours, and you reached your hand out towards him until he took it, and you held onto it until it passed, opening up your eyes again when it passed and he ran his fingers soothingly over the hair in front of your headband, and then placing a kiss to your forehead. "Is it better?"

You nodded, and Tyler ran his finger right above your eyebrows. "Why are you still frowning then?"

"My tailbone's just really sore. It's okay."

"I'm kind of not okay with it, but.."

"It means I get to meet him though, it's okay."

Tyler smiled weakly at you, and then held up his finger, moving down towards your belly. "Can you please be nice to your mom? She's really nice, and she's been carrying you around for like nine month, so.. "

You laughed as he put his ear to your belly.

"He says he's sorry, he's not trying to hurt you but he doesn't have a choice," Tyler said, "Also, he's really cute, and he really wants to cuddle with you."

You smiled, as Tyler made his way back up towards the head of the bed. "Close your eyes," he said.

"What?"

"Just do it," Tyler said, grinning at you and unzipping his bag, so you did. "Now, open your mouth."

"I am not opening my mouth with my eyes closed!" you said, opening one eye and Tyler laughed, pulling something behind his back.

"Just do it, I think it'll help make you feel better," he said, "well, probably not, but it might make you happy for about five seconds."

You heard him fumbling with a wrapper on something. "Tyler, I'm not supposed to have food."

"You can have one, I asked a nurse. She just said you have to suck it, not bite it," Tyler giggled, and you rolled your eyes as much as you could with your eyes closed, opening your mouth and you felt him place something on your tongue, getting a hint of the sourness immediately, and your open your eyes, them going wide immediately, as you sucked on the candy.

"Is this...?"

"Yeah," Tyler smiled, holding up the bag of lemonade Sour Patch Kids. "Do you still like them?"

"Yes, they gave me jell-o but it was really gross. And I packed some of those ones that you sent me in my bag, but I kept eating them so they were all gone, like a week ago," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"Well, you can only have a few now, but you can have the whole bag after you push him out," Tyler said, "You should probably, actually have real food after, but if you want I can just pour this whole bag into your mouth while you hold him."

"No, because you'd probably take a picture of me," you said, and then you regretted it instantly, because then he was getting his phone out. "Tyler..."

"What? You look cute," he said.

"I look cute?" you asked.

"Mmmm...you look like a warrior mama."

"A warrior mama?" you asked, even though you were kind of smiling at that.

"Mhmm," he agreed, coming down to the end of your bed, giving your feet a little rub. "Your socks are kind of ugly though."

You wiggled your feet in your fuzzy striped socks. "But they're comfy."

Tyler started taking pictures of you and you moaned out, rolling back over to your side, gripping the bar on the bed, as he kept taking pictures. "Don't," you whined, moaning out, and shutting your eyes, and now he came up around you, his fingers running over your forehead, and then he pressed his forehead against yours.

"Sorry, I thought you were faking it," he said.

"No, I wasn't faking it! Why would I fake it?"

"Because I thought you didn't want your picture taken!" he said, and then sighed, leaning awkwardly to rest his head on the pillow, "Sorry, I'm really bad at this."

"You're not bad at it, Tyler," you said, smiling softly.

"No?"

You shook your head. "You make me feel better, just you being here," you said, smiling, "And you brought me my favourite candy. My favourite candy which I didn't know was my favourite until you got it for me when I came to visit you."

Tyler smiled against you. "Can I take a picture with you, please?" he asked, snuggling his head against you and extending his phone overhead, and you nodded, letting him take a couple, including one that made sure to get both his shirt and your bump in, and then he turned his face towards you, smiling softly, a deep, gentle look in his eyes, and you watched as his gaze darted towards the door and then back again, kissing you softly, for a split second, and then you heard the snap of his phone taking another picture.

You pursed your lips, your mouth feeling immediately dry, and you shifted your hips on the bed. "Can you pass me the ice chips, please?"

"Mhmm.." Tyler said, reaching the spoon into the cup on the table next to him, his hand cupped under the spoon as he brought it to your mouth, and you opened it, crunching on the little pieces of ice.

"I meant you could just give me the whole thing," you said, once you had swallowed, even though you were already opening your mouth for more, and Tyler laughed, giving you more. "Mmmm...it's so good."

"Is it?" Tyler asked, picking up more on the spoon and spooning it into his own mouth.

"No...don't steal my ice."

"I'll get you more," he laughed, "I brought you something else, too."

"You brought me something else?"

"Yep," Tyler said, digging through his bag again, "Well, Cash wanted me to give it to you."

You frowned, wondering if he was going to do this thing again, where he wanted to do something for you and then explained it as being the dogs' ideas, but you laughed as he pulled out a stuffed duck that was clearly a dog toy, setting it on the pillow next to you.

"He thought you might want to hold it, or you could like, bite it I guess, if you wanted to, tear it apart. I'm not really sure if he's expecting it back or not, you'll have to take that up with him."

"Did he give me this because I gave him my shirt?"

"Umm...sure," Tyler said, scratching the back on his neck. "But that was my shirt."

"It smells like him," you said, pressing your nose against the toy and inhaling.

"That's...a little weird?"

"I like it, it's comforting," you said, pulling the toy against you.

"Well, they couldn't be here, so..." Tyler started and then clicked his tongue, moving towards you. "Oh, babe, don't cry. I would have brought them, but they don't allow dogs in hospitals. It's a stupid rule, I know."

"I know," you sniffed, running your hand up and down the toy.

"'K, don't cry," he said, his arm curving around your head as he wiped at your cheeks.

"I'm just going to be crying a lot today, okay? And I really wish they were here, I want to pet them."

"I know, babe," Tyler said sympathetically. "You can pet me, if you want?"

You laughed through your tears. "No," you said, "can we please watch videos of them on your phone, though?"

"Sure, whatever you want, babe," Tyler smiled. And so you did, making Tyler back the videos up of them playing or swimming in the pool after you'd had a contraction and, whenever you did, he'd get even closer to you rather than moving away.

"How's it going?" Your nurse, Linda, asked as she came back in.

You just kind of turned over onto your back to look at her, a little groan coming out of your mouth, and you caught her looking at Tyler.

"Oh, this is my.." you started, not entirely sure how to describe who he was, "my friend. Tyler."

"I'm just gonna grab you a visitor tag, Tyler,'" she said. And you looked over at him, realizing he didn't have one like your mother, sister, and Danielle had. And if he managed to get himself thrown out of the hospital, you'd be pissed.

"Oh, sorry, no one told me."

"That's alright," she said, going back into the hallway to grab one and then coming back to hand it to him, where he stuck it to his shirt.

"Are you staying, or just visiting?" She asked.

"Ummm..I think I'm staying?" Tyler said, and then looked at you, "you want me to stay, right?"

"She just means if you're here to support me in labour, not that you can't leave," you laughed. "You can add him to the board."

"What board?" Tyler asked, and you nodded towards the whiteboard, which said you were having a baby boy, and your name under the the parent section, along with the people who would be with you and their relationship to you.

"It's just so everyone knows who you are," Linda said.

"Oh, yeah, you can add me to the board then," Tyler said, his hand moving over your forehead again.

"Are you feeling any pressure?" Linda asked, as she added Tyler to the board, and you opened your mouth to say, no, but Tyler interrupted you.

"Yeah, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed doing," he said, and you snorted as the nurse turned back around. "Oh, you meant her...sorry."

You shook your head, your body starting to tense as you felt another contraction, Tyler pressing his forehead back against yours, his hand coming to run over yours.

"Y/N, I'm gonna check you really quick after this contraction," Linda said, and you nodded, hearing the sound of the baby's heart rate get louder as she turned the sound on the monitor up.

"Ohhhhh...." you moaned out.

"Contractions are really nice and strong, and he's tolerating them well," you heard her say, which was a relief, but didn't help the pain that was gripping you. The nurse went down to the foot of the bed, putting gloves on as she went, and then moving the sheet, keeping her eyes on the monitor so she could see when it stopped.

"Really fast, please," you said, bending your knees and spreading open your legs.

"Okay, take nice deep breaths, just relax."

You tensed up, because it hurt just being on your back, reaching your hand out for Tyler's while keeping your gaze locked on the ceiling, and finally he grabbed it as you tried to concentrate on bleeding.

"7," she declared, snapping her gloves off, and you wanted to groan out loud. "How's the pain?"

"Bad," you gritted out, "my back."

"Do you want to get up?"

"I don't...maybe," you said, taking both her and her and Tyler's hand, keeping his hand until you sat down on the ball.

"Is that better?" She asked kindly.

"Kind of, not really," you said, "I'm okay."

She gave you a sympathetic smile, before she left, and you exhaled a little bit.

"Have you not been wearing underwear this whole time?" Tyler whispered.

"Tyler!" you whispered back harshly.

"I'm just saying, a lot of people are going to see your vagina today," he said, and then he started snickering.

"I don't care," you said, scowling and then getting up off the ball, and going back to your hands and knees, resting forward on the ball. "I want my mom."

"You want me to call her to come back?" Tyler asked, and you shook your head, jumping a little when his hand went to your back, and then you unexpectedly started crying.

"Hey, she's gonna be back really soon," he said, "I can just call them, k?"

"No," you cried, "I'm only seven. I thought it was going to be at least eight."

"Seven is almost eight," Tyler said.

"Nooooo..." you cried again. "It's gonna get worse and it hurts. My back feels like it's going to break open!"

"The doctor," Tyler said, "maybe the doctor can give you medicine."

You shook your head adamentally, "No, I don't want anything," you said, choking a little on your cries.

"Baby, baby, you gotta breathe," Tyler said bending down next to you and rubbing his hand over your back in circles, and you found yourself trying to match your breath to the pattern of his hand, shutting your eyes and letting the ball support you, even as the next contraction took hold.

"Sorry," you said drowsily, looking over at Tyler who now had his head rested on the ball next to you, his eyes looking concerned all his attention on you. "I'm nervous."

"It's okay to be nervous," he said, his hand moving across your back.

"Are you okay?" You asked.

"Am I okay?" He laughed, "Yeah..."

"You're not feeling dizzy? Like you're gonna pass out?"

"No, sweetheart, I'm fine," Tyler said, "you sure you don't want drugs though?"

"No," I don't.

"Why?"

"Because I'd have to get an epidural and they'd have to put a giant needle in my back."

"So you'd rather have pain than a needle?" He laughed in disbelief.

"And you can't walk around and I want to be able to feel my body."

"You want to feel pain?"

"No, I want to be able to feel when I'm pushing," you said, and Tyler made a face, "This feels like the right thing for me, and him."

"Yeah, I know, I know, I just don't like seeing you in so much pain," he said, and then sniffed, and you looked up at him, about to say he didn't have to watch. "Nope, I'm not leaving, sorry."

You laughed even smiling a little when your next contraction started, and Tyler pushed his lips against your forehead, followed by resting his cheek there, hand sweeping up and down your back.

As soon as it passed, your free hand wrapped around your back, trying to pull your hospital gown open where it was tied.

"What are you doing?" Tyler asked with a laugh.

"My bra, I want it off, it's too tight," you said. The only reason you'd put your sports bra on in the first place was to go in the shower, and you didn't foresee yourself wanting to go back in.

"Okay, okay," Tyler said, and you felt his hands go to the back, undoing the ties, "Oh, I know this one..."

"Tyler, please just take it off," you said, and you heard him laugh, and then felt him jump up.

"Umm...do one of you guys want to help her take her bra off? Her top. Her bra top," Tyler said, "she wants it off, she was asking for you Liz."

Your mom helped you get your bra off and your hospital gown back on, Danielle helping to make sure all the wires were out of the way, and then you asked them to help you to the bathroom, catching Tyler grinning in the corner of the room as you walked by. "What?" You asked.

"Nothing," he said, his hands held behind behind his back, and you followed his gaze to the whiteboard, where you saw that he had written "best" along with an arrow pointing in front of where it said friend in brackets behind his name.

"Tyler!" You whispered yelled, and he just grinned, adjusting his hat as you went into the bathroom.

You came out, going back to your position on the ball, because that seemed to be the most comfortable, your mom bringing you another spoon of ice chips, and you moaned out again through the pain.

"Oh my god, Mom," you groaned out.

"I know, I know," she said.

"Blow out," Danielle coached.

"Tyler," you called out, not knowing where he was, but that he had to be somewhere in the room.

"Yeah, baby, what do you need?"

"Can you please, please do that thing you did to my back in your bed" You asked sucking in a breath, "at your house, in Dallas?"

"You mean when I rubbed your back?" He laughed, and you shook your head "no" holding up your fist in the air and then felt him move in behind you, pressing his fist into you low back.

"Harder," you asked, "Please?"

He obliged, his face coming down next to yours. "Is it helping?

"Yeah," you said, your voice reverberating, and you felt Tyler's hands move away for a moment as your mom placed a cool washcloth on the back of your neck.

"No, you stay there, Tyler," she said, and you let out a sound of relief when he started applying counterpressure again.

When the next contraction came over you, he let up, just rubbing his hands in circles over your back and you felt hands rubbing up and down your arms too. You found yourself biting your cheek, though, feeling like you needed something to hold, so when the next contraction passed, you grit out. "Can someone get me my duck, please?"

"Your what?" You heard Nicole ask.

"It's on the bed," Tyler laughed, "it's the dog's."

"Cash's" you said, taking it from your sister and grasping the poor thing's neck. A few more tears leaked out as you continued to labour, partly because of the pain, and partly because it felt really emotional, in a way you hadn't expected, to be surrounded by your friends and family. You could have barely even imagined this at this time last year, and, yet, it had all come full circle.

You got to a point where you couldn't even talk anymore, using what little time you had between contractions to try and rest, and gear up for the next one, letting everyone wipe your brow and rub your back and feed you ice chips, because you were helpless to do anything but survive the pain.

"Mom, mom," you cried out, pulling away from the pressure on your back.

"You're doing so good," she said, her hand coming to your shoulders, and you shook your head.

"No," you got out, "I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"It hurts," you said, "you could do it, I can't do it."

"Yes, you can, you're doing it."

"I don't get a break anymore," you said, the contractions practically on top of each other now. "I need a break."

"He's coming down, he's almost here."

"No!" You said, a little shocked at how loud you were being. "I can't push now. I can't....ah!....I can't do it like you can."

You were breathing hard, letting out grunts and cries and little screams, completely lost in the pain.

"Baby," you heard Tyler say sympathetically and it made you cry, and you rested your head down, knowing you would be sobbing if you had the energy to.

"Please...ah! Please hold my hand."

"Me?" He asked, and you nodded, dropping the duck which had become sweaty in your hand and you felt him take it, crying even more. You started shaking, like you had the shivers, your hand bouncing around in Tyler's steady one.

"Here," you heard someone say, you couldn't really tell who anymore, a sheet or blanket being laid over you.

"Hey, can you guys go get her some more ice chips, please?" Tyler asked, and you heard your mom say something to him in a hushed voice, followed by footsteps moving away from you. "Nicole? Can you help them too, please?"

"You don't need three people to get ice chips."

"Nicole," Tyler gritted out.

"Oh," she said, "okay, yeah, we'll go grab some coffee."

You heard her footsteps disappear from the room too, Tyler's free hand rubbing up and down your back. "Baby..." he said again.

"I'm so tired, Tyler, I didn't sleep last night, and–" you had no idea what time it was, but it had been dark out for awhile, so it had to be night again.

"I know, I know you're tired."

"I can't do it anymore. You have to make it stop. Please!"

"He's almost here, you're gonna be able to hold him so soon," Tyler said, huddled around you. "Can you hear his heartbeat?"

"Ah!"

"Can you hear his heartbeat?" Tyler repeated, "it's like some weird dubstep."

"Ty, Tyler!"

"It's gonna sound different, really soon, when he's not in you anymore," he continued. "You're gonna be able to put your hand on his little chest, and feel his heart beating."

"Mmmm uh huh," you said, gasping out a breath in the seconds you had between contractions. "Do you think he has hair?"

Tyler laughed under his breath, and you opened your eyes to see his face, wetness pooling out from his eyes, and he pressed his forehead against the crown of your head, blinking, your tears joining together. "I don't know, honey, maybe. We both have lots of hair."

"Mm..." you said, and then "ohhhhhhh......."

"That's good," Tyler said, rubbing your back. "You're so strong."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah, you're so much stronger than me, I could never do this, only you can."

"Not....done," you said, "no energy to push. And I have to!"

"That's the part you're gonna be best at though."

"No!"

"Yeah, the finish line will be right there, and there'll be something you can do to help him get here, you won't just have to....lay there, or like, whatever you call the labour equivalent of doggy style."

"Don't have the energy."

"Baby, baby, look at me, please," Tyler said, and you forced yourself to do so. "Remember when we started this, and we both said, that we were 100% in in me helping you have a baby."

"Yeah..."

"And you're still in 100%, I know," he said, "so you're just gonna keep going. You did it this whole time. And I know you're tired, but you're going to give it 100% of all you have left, okay?"

"Okay."

"Can you tell me?"

"100%," you repeated, "I'm giving it 100%."

"Good, then you're gonna meet your baby."

"Soon?"

"Yeah, baby, really soon," he answered, and the shaking picked up again.

"Will you stay with me, please?" You asked, your voice shaking.

"Yeah, I'm not going anywhere."

"100%?" You asked, looking over just in time to see Tyler smile.

"Yeah, 100%."

"Okay, I can do it," you said, and then you heard the nurse come in to check you, hearing Tyler ask her if she could check you as you were.

"There's a little tiny lip of cervix there, Y/N, but you can start trying to push when you have a contraction of you want, and we'll see if we can get that out of the way."

"Here?" You asked, followed by "ahhh, there's so much pressure."

"Yeah, you can push," she said, so you tried and, in a weird way, it felt almost releiving to push, even though the nurse's hand was literally all up inside you, Tyler by your head, his hand moving over your forehead.

You went like that, for a few contractions, until you heard her tell you that it was gone.

"My mom, my sister, Danielle," you said.

"Yeah, we're right here," you heard, hearing a voice from behind you, and you relaxed a little.

"Do you want to have him here or in the bed?"

"In the bed, in the bed," you said, feeling arms help you up, and then into the bed.

"You're gonna have a baby," your mom grinned, kissing the top of your head, your sister and Danielle behind her, who was already crying. You pushed, for awhile, on your side, facing them, while Tyler was behind you, rubbing your back.

"You're doing beautiful, really good," Linda said, and then suddenly there was a flurry of activity in the room, and Dr. Stevens was getting gowned up, and you were being given instructions to move onto your back, and grasp your legs.

"Everybody's here," Dr. Stevens said, smiling, and you saw her look at Tyler's shirt and try very, very hard not to laugh. "So many people here for his birthday, he's so lucky."

"What day is it?"

"It's April 6th, just after 2AM. He'll be here by 3, I bet."

"Okay," you said," "okay." After that, you were overwhelmed with the encouragement, and the counting to 10, instructions to take deep breaths of air and hold it, curving your body around itself.

"Tuck your chin to your chest, babe," Tyler said, repeating what the nurses had said so many times, his hand near yours on your leg, while your Mom had the other one.

"Ahhhh!"

"Relax your face, Y/N, put everything into pushing him out."

"Just like that," you heard Dr. Stevens say, "he's got hair."

"It's brown," Tyler said, and you opened your eyes to see him ducking around the leg he was holding, glancing at what was happening between your legs. "It's brown hair, right?"

"Yeah, he's got lots of hair."

And you felt so close, so you grunted and pushed harder. "Go, go, go, go, go."

You sighed, head flopping back against the pillow.

"Really big one on this next contraction."

You took a deep breath, tucking your chin and pushing. "Ahhh! It's pulling, it's pulling."

"Keep going."

"Tyler, can you pull her leg open a bit, help open up her pelvis?"

You felt him your leg a little bit more towards him,and sensed him turning his head towards you. "Am I hurting you? You okay?"

Like him tugging a little on your leg was anything worse than the head trying to make it it's way out of the birth canal.

"You're not going to dislocate her hip, Tyler, it's helping. Help her out."

You started to yell as you felt that pulling again and then you remembered to suck in a breath and bear down, yelling a little at the end.

"His head's almost out, one more big push."

You pushed again,feeling pulling and pushed past that, feeling a little bit of movement.

"Good job, good job, wait one second, " you heard, feeling movement between your legs. "Okay, big push."

You groaned as you did, trying to keep your face relaxed, but it broke when you felt relief and, then, a second later, all that you could hear was the sound of your baby crying.

You had never started crying so fast in your life, it was instant, like you knew to cry even before he did. Even quicker than when you first found out you were pregnant.

"Oh my god, oh my god," you said, as he was placed on your chest,and your arms went around him, feeling hands running up and down your arms, and you felt Tyler's lips on your temple. "I'm your mom."

They were cleaning him off, and you couldn't really see him, but you could feel him and hear him, and it was enough.

"He's beautiful."

"Is he okay?" You asked, looking at the nurses who were wiping him off.

"Yeah, he's great." And you looked up behind you, a smile on your face, at Tyler, who was wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand, and then you looked over the other side, where everyone was crying, too.

"You did so good," your mom said, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

It was amazing, was all you could think, holding him to you as he cried, and he had a hat put on him, blankets being wrapped around him. "You're okay, you're okay," you said.

"Did you want to cut the cord yourself, Y/N?"

"Ummm.." you said, having not really considered it, "no. You can do it," you said, keeping eye on your baby, the other seeking out Tyler. "If you want, you don't have to."

"I mean...you want me to?" He asked, moving closer to where the scissors were being held.

"Sure, you put him in there, you can..help get him out."

"Or unattached, " someone added, and you nodded.

Because you had gotten him out.

You watched, as Tyler got the instructions, cutting the cord just as he as told, although he had to try twice because, apparently, it was tougher than expected.

And, when he was done, you pulled your son even closer to you, enjoying the feeling of having nothing on between you anymore.

Finally.

And,just like that, nothing else mattered.


	48. Chapter 48

You stretched in bed, noticing, even then, that your belly felt so much smaller than it had before. 

And then you remembered, a smile coming across your face even before you opened his eyes.

He was here.

That was the first thing you thought as you became aware that you were in the hospital and light was shining through your eyelids, finally having gotten more than over an hour of straight sleep. You blinked open your eyes, seeing that the curtain was still drawn over the windows, and you could see light from a phone, illuminating a face sitting in the chair in the corner of the room.

"Tyler?" you asked, your voice sounding scratchy and a little weak, and the face turned towards you, smiling, the phone being set down so his face was being covered by shadows again.

"Hey, baby, how are you feeling?"

You looked down, at the clear bassinet that had been at the side of your bed all night, which was now empty, except for blankets scrunched up at the bottom, and you bolted upright. "Where is he?"

"They just took him to change him, babe, he's right in there," Tyler said, pointing at the adjoining bathroom, and now you could see the light coming under the door, and hear his quiet little cries ever now and then, and you relaxed back into the bed. "Sorry, we were trying not to wake you up, didn't mean to scare you."

"That's okay," you said, running your hand over your face. "I'm a little out of it."

"Yeah, well I think you ran the equivalent of like two to three marathons last night, so I think you're okay," he quirked his lips at you, coming over to squeeze you on the shoulder. "You feeling okay? Did you get any sleep?"

"A little," you said, blinking and then squinting at him, "Why are you not wearing a shirt?"

"Oh, I was doing skin-to-skin with him," Tyler said, scratching the back of his neck while your heart absolutely melted, and part of you wished you woke up a few minutes earlier. Or that something had taken pictures. "The nurses said it's good for him."

Part of you wondered if the nurses had only told him that to get him to take his shirt off, but they had actually been really great. And it wasn't like they'd just been sitting there staring at him. Plus, they'd encouraged you to do it, too.

"Is that okay?" Tyler asked as he put his shirt back on and you scoffed a little laugh.

"You don't have to ask me."

"Yeah, I do, you're his mom."

"Yeah, but you're his..." you said, "he's yours, too."

"No, he's not. He's yours."

"No, I know," you said softly, and then let out a breath, looking up at Tyler. "But he's kinda yours, too. In a way. "

Tyler looked down at you, chewing a little on his lip as he thought it through. "No, I know. I just..."

"He's not just mine," you said, feeling your emotions rise, "there's a lot of people who love him."

"Awe, babe, don't cry, I know," Tyler said, his arm coming to wrap around you squeezing your shoulder.

"I'm not sad, I'm so happy," you said.

"So, this crying thing is not gonna stop now that he's out of you?" Tyler asked.

You just smiled, shaking your head "no", a couple tears running down your cheeks, and you sat forward, taking your back off the mattress behind you. "You just...you don't have to ask my permission to hold him. Or to do something to take care of him."

Tyler smiled softly at you. "Okay, okay, I'll try," he said, "I don't really know what I'm doing though, if it's okay, so I might be asking you a lot of questions."

"I don't know what I'm doing either," you laughed.

"Yeah, you do," Tyler said, leaning over to place a kiss on his forehead. "You're his mom."

The bathroom door opened, and you turned to see the light shining into the room, the nurse cradling him, his little cries making you sit up a bit more in the bed, reaching your arms out towards him, and then you opened the robe you'd brought from home, revealing your tank top underneath, and she helped you settle him on your chest, her covering him with a blanket since he was naked other than his diaper, a little hat, and his hospital bracelets.

"Good morning, baby," you said, looking down at him, rubbing your hand up and down his back and you tried to soothe his little cries.

"We'll let him calm down a bit, and then you can try to feed him," she said, and you nodded, unable to take your gaze off him, "Y/N, I'm going to get you some breakfast, and some juice and water. Do you want some ibuprofen?"

"Yes, please," you said, shifting a little on the bed.

"Ice?"

"Yes, please," you said, looking down at your son still, "Thank you."

As soon as she left, Tyler whispered, "What is the ice for?"

You didn't say anything, because you thought it was rather obvious.

"Do you have to ice your boobs so the milk is cold?"

You immediately started laughing, which was really not a good thing, considering you had a fresh baby laying on your chest.

"No," you said, "Ow, don't make me laugh."

"I'm sorry, I was just asking."

"Little babies drink warm milk," you said, biting your lip to try not to laugh now, tears running down your face. You looked at Tyler, who now had his arms crossed over his chest, a little redness creeping into his cheeks and his gaze darting away like he was embarrassing. "Have you ever seem a woman walking around with an ice pack strapped to her chest?"

"No....." Tyler said slowly, and then looked back to you, "I don't see a lot of women with babies, okay?"

You laughed, wincing just a little.

"You alright?

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bit sore."

"Where?"

"Everywhere?" You said, and then looked at Tyler's concerned face, as he winced as well. "I'm fine, Tyler, I don't even care, I'm so happy."

You bounced the baby a little more, feeling hin warm against you, listening to his whimpers fade, his mouth slowly opening and closing his dark eyes blinking. "Is my mom still here?"

"No, I told her she could go sleep for a bit, so she went to your house. Do you need her?"

"No, he might be okay to eat now, but I'll wait," you said, fixing his hat. At least he seemed content now. "I thought you left to go get sleep?"

He'd been there for a while, while they weighed and measured him, and checked him out. And, even after Nicole and Danielle left he'd fallen asleep sitting up on the padded bench, which your mom had slept in the reclining chair, until finally you'd told Tyler to go home and get some rest.

"Yeah, I did," he said, shaking his head a little and his hair looked unruly, and you could only imagine yours looked about the same, "I couldn't sleep, though, so I came back."

"You're not tired?"

"Honestly, not really," he shrugged.

"You don't have stuff to do?"

"No," he said, and then cracked a smile. "Why? You trying to get rid of me?"

"No, I'm trying not to get you in trouble," you said, "of course I want you to stay."

Tyler smiled, and then his eyes flicked downwards. "His eyes are open," he said, taking a step towards him, running his hand over the baby's head and crouching down so he was in his eyesight. "Hey little man."

You blinked away your emotion, and then swallowed it, lifting his hat up a little as you tried to look down. "Were his eyes closed when you had him?"

"I don't know, I couldn't see," Tyler said, "he was making really cute noises though."

"Like what?" You asked, turning the baby in you arms so you were cradling him and you could look at his eyes, but he started making little grumpy noises, stretching his arms and legs out.

"I don't know, like little noises with his mouth," Tyler said, "he sounded happy. Not like he does now."

"Yeah, could you grab a blanket and put it down on the bed for me, please?" You asked, nodding towards the ones that were in his bassinet, watching as Tyler grabbed it, coming to try and cover him like the nurse had, "like, flatten it out, I think he wants to be swaddled."

He laid it down diagonally to you, smoothing out any wrinkles and you were about to put the baby down, when Tyler reached in front, flipping down the top of the blanket like you'd showed him, and then he grinned at you.

"Thanks," you said, laying the baby down, moving your fingers over his chest, and took in his open eyes, and how long his eyelashes were.

"He's gorgeous," Tyler said, hovering behind you, and just staring at him like you were. "He looks like just like you."

"Do you think so?" You asked. Because, as you saw it, you really saw a lot of Tyler in him. He definately has Tyler's lips, and his cheeks.

"Mhmm," he said, so confidently that you couldn't argue with him. "For sure, he looks like you."

"He has your toes though," you said, wiggling them before you put the blanket over him.

"Yeah, he does," Tyler laughed, "I'm sorry, bud, but they're way cuter on you than me."

You smiled, finishing swaddling him up, and started looking like he was struggling hard to keep his eyes open, Tyler moving close to you, as you both looked at him.

"You did so good, babe," he said, moving his arm around your shoulders, as he sat down gingerly on the side of the bed, placing a kiss on the side of your head, "I'm so proud of you."

You smiled, leaning into him, but keeping your eyes trained on the little human you'd created in front of you, because you couldn't look away. "You did so good."

"I didn't do anything," he laughed.

You tore your gaze away from the baby to look at Tyler for only a second, and then slid your hand under to support his head, picking him up to cradle him because if you weren't looking at him you needed to be touching him.

"Yeah, you did, you rubbed my back, and held my hand, and brought me stuff," you said, "you listened to me yell at you."

"You didn't yell at me," Tyler laughed, "you were really nice, actually, you kept saying please and thank you, and you kept apologizing. Even though you could have totally been cussing me out."

"I'm pretty sure I remember screaming "no!" and "stop!" you at some point."

"Yeah," Tyler, tilting his head off to one side a shrugging, "I mean, you kind of did, yeah, but, to be honest, I was expecting a lot more yelling. You were just pushing your body so hard, if you needed to scream to get through it, then you needed to scream. But you did it. And once you got to start pushing him out, it was, like, game over. You got this look in your eye, like you were so intense and focused but you were, like, super loving at the same time? It was crazy. It was the most amazing thing I've ever gotten to be a part of."

And, somehow, it wasn't really his words that got you so much as his tone: he sounded absolutely in awe of the whole experience.

"I am so glad you were looking at him, not me, though. Because I was bawling like a baby," Tyler said, looking down at the baby. "Actually, not even like a baby, he was way cooler than me."

"You were crying that much?" You asked. You knew, for sure, that he'd teared up.

"I was a mess," he said, "I'm so happy everyone was looking at him, it was really embarrassing."

You looked over at Tyler, who was now almost resting his head on your shoulder, watching the baby like you were.

"Don't say awe," he said, "Just don't, I'm fragile."

You laughed, and he rubbed his beard against your neck. "Seriously," he continued, "If I cry, then you're gonna cry, and then he's gonna cry, and then it's just gonna be chaos, so don't go 'awe' at me."

"Okay," you laughed, looking back down at the baby, "Awe, he's yawning."

"He's tired," Tyler said.

"But his eyes are open," you said.

"Yeah, what colour are they? Blue?"

"Yeah, but they might change," you said, watching as Tyler leaned over a little closer, and you watched the baby's hazy eyes just wavered in Tyler's general direction, and you could actually hear Tyler grin from your side.

"Who's that? Is that your —?" You said to the baby, and then stopped, looking back at Tyler, "what do you want him to call you?"

"Uncle Ty-Ty," he answered without missing a beat.

"He is not calling you Uncle Ty-Ty,'" you scoffed.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not calling you Uncle Ty-Ty."

"Well, it's too late, him and me already talked about it."

"Him and I," you corrected.

"I thought you would be tired," Tyler laughed, pointing his finger towards you like he was going to poke you but couldn't quite decide where would be okay, so he just settled for booping you on the nose, and then he looked back at the baby. "Does he have a name yet?"

"Yes, he does," you smiled, turning to look at Tyler.

"Well, are you going to tell me?"

"Yes," you laughed, looking back at the baby, and then back at Tyler again, unable to keep the smiling off your face, "It's Bentley."

"Bentley?" he repeated.

"Yeah," you answered, moving your free hand up and down the baby's chest, but keeping your eyes focused on Tyler. "Bentley Tyler Y/L/N."

Tyler's face, with had previously been smiling, leaning towards the baby like he was trying to match the face with the name dropped in shock, and he stood up suddenly, taking a couple of steps back from the bed. "You're shitting me."

"No," you shook your head, laughing and smiling, and then you pointed over to the whiteboard, where his name was written, that Tyler clearly hadn't even noticed. "That's his name, Bentley Tyler. Do you like it?"

"Do I like it?" he whispered, his eyes already brimmed red, and then he blinked, and tears starts running down his face, and your heart went into your throat, your eyes filling too, but the smile remained on your face, and Tyler just shifted his weight back and forth between his feet. "Babe...." He said, like he was pleading with you, like he couldn't handle it or put into words how he felt, and you couldn't really handle it either. Like, you had expected his reaction just to be a big grin or something. But this was way better than you'd even imagined.

"He wouldn't be here without you," you said, "I can't ever begin to thank you. And you're, just, you're a part of him, so yeah."

And now Tyler smirked at you, just a little, "I did the fun part, though, you did all the work."

"I don't mean that," you said, "Well, obviously that. But the way you were there for me, when I was pregnant, and in labour, you were amazing, Tyler. Even before I got pregnant. I couldn't have done any of this without you."

"You're sure, though, like...?" he asked, and you laughed at how unprepared he was for all of this.

"Yes, I'm positive. 100%," you said, rocking the baby just a little, "I love his name so much."

"I love you guys so much," he said, stepping back towards you and hugging you, his hand going on your arm where you were holding the baby, and he placed a kiss to your forehead and you could feel just how wet his face was with tears and then he leaned down, kissing the baby's forehead, too, just over his hat, and then he stood back up, running his hands over his face and then through his hair, which only made him look like more of a mess, to be honest.

"Do you like the Bentley part, too?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's not as great as the Tyler part, that's my favourite, but it suits him, and it'd get a little confusing if you called him 'Tyler', too," he said, "Wait, is this why there's that 'B' pillow in his room?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I thought it stood for baby," he said, and you laughed, "Or blob. Aw, do you remember when he was just a little blob? And now he's got like arms, and legs, and toes. And fingers. It's so crazy. Like, we just fucked, and it made an actual human being, and he's cute. It's so crazy, you made that."

"Well, we did."

"No, I know, but you grew him so you get more credit," he said, "But, yeah, we did make that. We made a Bentley."

You laughed a little looking back at him, and then saw he was crying again, and he leaned forward into your neck, "Please don't tell anyone about this."

"Okay," you laughed, leaning your head against his because your hands were occupied.

"I think I need to be swaddled, and given a pacifier," he said, "I see now why you were crying all the time."

"Does this mean you'll stop making fun of me?"

"Nope," he quipped, smiling against you, and then he stood up from the bed when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Hi, I'm Allison, I'm a lactation consultant," she said, stepping forward towards you, and you just smiled at her because you had no hands free to shake hers. "How's he doing?"

"I think he's getting hungry," you said.

"Do you want to try to feed him in the chair?" she asked, and you agreed, letting her take Bentley and hand him over to Tyler so she could help you up, transfixed as you watched her gently pass him to Tyler and making sure that he had him, both of Tyler's arms held under the bundle like he was afraid to drop him, standing unmoving, just watching him the whole time, and she helped you stand up, you taking off your robe so you were just in your tank top before you sat down.

"Wow, you still look pregnant," Tyler said, and you both turned to look at him, however Allison looked much, much more shocked than you did. "Oh my god, I mean, you still look great, obviously, like, that's a given. I just wasn't expecting it, to be, like round, anymore, like I thought it'd look squishier, and like softer, that he was out? Like deflated? Wow, I really cannot talk. I am so sorry."

Allison continued to look absolutely mortified, while you were trying not to laugh, honestly. "My uterus has to contract back down, Tyler, that's why I still look pregnant."

"Ohhh...." he said, "That makes sense. I wasn't expecting you to go back to normal, like, you made a human being, your body is going to be different, not in a bad way, like..."

"I understand what you mean," you laughed, and he mouthed 'sorry' at you again, as the lactation consultant helped you get set up with a breastfeeding pillow and was asking you some more general questions about how breastfeeding had been going, and then you caught Tyler just starting at your bare chest and you gave him a look to warn him to keep his mouth shut, because you could tell that he was about to make a comment, probably about how big your nipples looked or something, until finally Tyler grinned and looked back down at the baby

"Could you bring him over here, please?" Allison asked.

"Uhh.." Tyler said, moving one foot forward as if he was going to walk over, but he never took a step, his arms still cradled around Bentley. "I kind of don't want to walk with him."

"Okay," she laughed under her breath, going over, and you wanted as Tyler ever so carefully handed him off. It was adorable, really, because his arms and hands were so big compared to the baby, and he seemed almost kind of awkward with him. She helped you get organized, and you tried to listen to her but you caught Tyler straight up staring at you, and you realized that, even though he'd been here when you fed the baby before, there'd been a lot of other people with you, and Tyler was in the corner of the room just there, not really watching like he was now, and you gave him a little look because you felt completely on display, and it didn't really feel as natural and beautiful as you thought it might feel yet, and you already had had gloved hands all over you, trying to help. Tyler blinked, and then tried to look put the window casually but the drapes were closed so he went over to open them, a little light brightening up the room even more, even though it was fairly overcast outside, looking like it might rain. Or snow, actually, both of which might kind of suck.

"Sorry, is that too bright for him?" Tyler whispered, and you shook your head.

"He's fine, why are you whispering?"

"She said he could get distracted easy when he's trying to eat," he whispered back, and then he briefly looked down, pointing towards you, laughing under his breath. "Hey, look how he's grabbing your tit."

"Tyler," you said through gritted teeth, just feeling the baby's hand resting on your chest as he fed.

He grimaced, already reaching for his zip-up. "I'm just gonna go grab something to eat, I'll be back in a bit."

You tried not to laugh, as you finished feeding him, and then he was sleeping on your chest as you were eating your breakfast with one hand when Tyler came back in the room, and smiled at you, tilting his head almost immediately to look at Bentley's asleep face, and then his phone followed.

"Does he look comfortable?"

"Yeah, he's all snuggled up," Tyler said, leaning over to show you the picture he'd just taken, and you couldn't get over the little wrinkle on the bridge of his nose he had when he slept. Tyler sat down on the bench, looking through something on his phone, and then he looked up at you. "Is it alright if I send a picture of him to my mom?"

"Yes," you said easily, slightly surprised he hadn't already.

"You're sure?" Tyler said, raising his eyebrows as he continued to look at his phone. "Because once she sees him, she'll probably be begging to come visit."

"She can come visit," you said, taking a bite of your oatmeal.

"Really?" Tyler asked, and now you realized he'd been joking. "Aren't you tired?"

"Yeah, but I don't care," you said, "she's coming to see him, not me, and I can barely get any sleep anyways, because they're in here to check on me or him every hour anyways. If she wants to come see him, she can."

"Okay," Tyler said, typing on his phone.

"Just maybe tell her in the afternoon? They're gonna give him a bath, and he has to go get some tests done."

"Tests?" Tyler asked, "What kind of tests?"

"They're just routine tests, like to get his hearing tested and stuff, and they screen for certain things."

"Oh, okay."

"Do you want to go with him?" you asked, "They don't want me to walk around much yet, and I think someone's going to come help me shower when he's gone." You looked at Tyler hopefully, knowing it was kind of a big ask, but it kind of broke your heart to think about him going alone. And Bentley pretty much knew Tyler as much as he did you.

"Umm..what do I have to do?"

"Nothing, you just have to take him there, and just stay with him."

"Do I have to hold him while I walk?" Tyler asked, looking at you like that might be a problem.

"No, he can just go in there," you said, nodding towards the plastic bassinet, "they just push him. You don't have to do anything, there's gonna be a nurse there. Just stand there and keep an eye on him? Since I can't."

"Sure, that's no problem."

"Can you make sure that you keep on eye on him at all times? Please?" You weren't entirely sure why, because everybody in the hospital had been so great, but you just had these kind of irrational fears, that he might get scared and not know anyone around him. Or that he could somehow get lost, and you had this vision of Tyler somehow looking at his phone for a split second, only for the baby to be rolled off somewhere.

"I will," he said, "I promise."

"Okay, good," you said, rubbing your free hand up and down Bentley's back before you went back to your breakfast.

"It's hard to look at anything other than him when he's in a room, anyways."

"Yeah," you breathed, feeling the weight of him against you. "He has to get a needle." You whispered the last word over his head, like you didn't want him to hear it. Which was really a big reason why you didn't want to go with him, otherwise you probably would make them take you. "To get his blood tested."

"Oh, he'll be fine, babe," Tyler said, and you gave him a rather doubtful look. "You had to get an I.V. which is way worse than a blood test, and you were fine. He's gonna be tough like his mama."

"He's just a little baby though."

"He'll be okay, I'll hold his hand," Tyler said, tilting his head a little, "it's gonna be worse for you then it is for him, you know."

"I know."

"I get it, though, I was so freaked out cutting his cord."

"What? Why?"

"Because I thought it was going to hurt him," Tyler said, looking at you curiously, "You didn't hear me asking the nurse?"

You shook your head "no".

"Yeah, he kind of freaks me out a little bit," Tyler said, "Not that he's freaky, just that I don't want to do anything that's gonna make him upset. I'll let the doctors and nurses be the bad guys, and I'll just cuddle him."

"That's the best part," you said.

"Mhmmm..." Tyler agreed, leaning in closer towards the baby, "I'm gonna cuddle with you, and play with you, and buy you cool stuff, and let you do whatever you want. And if your Mom is being mean to you and not letting you do cool stuff, you can come stay with your Uncle Ty-Ty and we'll work together to get her to change the rules. Because sometimes she gets a little crazy."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"Shhh..." he said towards you, resting his head above the baby's, "The Tyler's are talking."

You laughed, and then you were forced to pretend that you were looking out the window and not listening into their conversation. After that, a nurse came in to give Bentley his first bath, which you made Tyler record on your phone, which mostly consisted of him being laid out on a towel by the sink as he was given a sponge bath, which he was really not happy about at all, to which Tyler just looked at you and mouthed the word "mean" pointing towards the nurse. He did, however, seem to enjoy having his hair rinsed under the sink, and then you were enticed to want to kick Tyler because he made a comment to Bentley that he should keep any girls he finds who are willing to give him a bath like that. After that, you went to go shower while Tyler and Bentley went off to get his tests done, and you were sitting back in bed, watching T.V. when Tyler came back in, pushing Bentley in the bassinet in front of him until he was next to your bed again, and you couldn't quite tell if he was hanging his head or just looking at the baby.

"That was awful," Tyler said, and you sat up a little, trying to look at the baby, "He's fine, he's sleeping." He was, too, all wrapped up with a pacifier in his mouth. It seemed clichéd to say, but he really did look angelic.

"What happened?"

"Oh, his hearing's fine, by the way," he said, "But they took this needle, and they pricked his heel, and then they were like rubbing his little foot to get blood out of it."

"Did he cry?" you asked, already getting up to pick up the baby. You knew, probably, that you shouldn't wake a sleeping baby, but you couldn't help it, you really just needed to hold him. Luckily, he only stirred just a little, but you rocked him a little and he settled, and you suspected he was probably really tired, both from his bath and his little outing.

"Yes, a little," Tyler said, and then he came back over to the bed where you were now sitting with the baby, coming to sit next to you and he looked like he just wanted to rest his head on your chest but the he reconsidered, leaning into your shoulder. "I really didn't like it."

"Did you cry?"

"No, but I wanted to, I was trying to keep it together for him," he said, and you just kind of all laid there for a minute, the sound of the television on in the background. "They gave me this, I don't know why."

You looked down to see that Tyler was holding his wrist, with a hospital bracelet wrapped around it, next to yours.

"Oh, that's just to say that you can stay with him," you said, "He's got one, too, in case he gets too close to the doors."

"What?" Tyler asked, "How is he going to get to the doors? He's a baby."

"If someone took him," you said, "All the babies have alarms, it's a security thing."

"People steal babies?" Tyler asked, sitting up now, his voice a little loud, and then he seemed to realize the baby was sleeping, but you didn't really think anything would wake him up right now.

"Unfortunately, sometimes, yeah," you said, "It just makes sure he's safe, it's a precaution. They just usually put bracelets on the baby, and the mom and the dad."

"Oh," Tyler said, and was quiet for a moment, and then he said, "Do you think that I might get in trouble for being with him because I'm not actually his Dad?"

"No," you said, "That's why they gave you the bracelet, so they know it's okay."

"But the papers?" he asked, tracing his fingers over the blankets.

"The papers don't matter, Tyler, they're just for legal reasons, they're not to keep you away from being with him, you're still part of his family."

"No, I know, I know what it's like at home, I just didn't know in the hospital, like if I did a thing with him that Dads normally do that I'd get in trouble. "

"No," you laughed a little, "that's not how it works. Like, if you weren't here, then my mom would be, and she would go with him, and they'd give her a bracelet."

"So it's just for who you say can be with him if you're not there, but I don't have to, like, make decisions for him or anything?"

"Yes," you said. "Like, if you didn't have that bracelet, they wouldn't let you bring him back to the room by yourself, someone would come with you."

"So you knew that I wouldn't steal him?" Tyler said, a little smile on his face.

"Well, you can't take him out of the ward anyways, I can't even yet because he's not ready to leave the hospital."

"I still could have taken him cruising to look and see if there are any girl babies around. While his mom isn't watching."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"I couldn't handle that, I was just trying to get him back to you as fast as possible without banging him into stuff."

You laughed, because he was seriously so concerned about being too much for the baby, and it was seriously cute, and you could just imagine him white knuckling the edge of the bassinet And you loved, seriously loved, the way he wasn't trying to hide from you just how unsure he felt. Or how emotional he'd been.

"I think they want me to try and walk a little bit later in the hallways, so we can all go."

"Yeah, I think it's better that you're there anyways, in case something goes wrong with him, because I don't know what to do if he cries," Tyler said, and then you heard his phone beep from his pocket. "My mom's here, I'm gonna go get her, okay?"

"Yeah," You smiled, watching as he got up. You were vaguely aware that you had no makeup on and probably looked exhausted, your hair already having gone back into a top knot after your shower, but you didn't really care, and you knew she would understand. You could hear their voices in the hallway, and then you Tyler opened the door back up, stepping in and looking back at his mom, who had a gift bag in her hands, as if he wanted to see her reaction.

"Hi," she said, in a hushed voice, smiling, taking a couple of steps into the room, and Tyler shut the door behind her. "I won't stay for long, just wanted to come say hi."

"Thank you," you said, "He's sleeping right now." You turned the bundle towards her, letting her know that it was okay to come closer.

"Oh, he's beautiful," Jackie said, setting the gift bag she had in her hands down on the foot of the bed, taking her glasses on then off, like she couldn't decide which was the better way to see him. "Congratulations."

"What are you doing?" Tyler laughed, "Just look at him like a normal person."

You both ignored her, bouncing the baby a little, and she hugged you gently and as much as she could while you were holding the baby. "This is Bentley."

"Aw, that's perfect," she said, "Hi Bentley."

"Guess what his middle name is, Mom?" Tyler asked, "It's a name you really, really like."

"What's that?"

"Tyler," Tyler said, and he looked so, so happy. "His name is Bentley Tyler Y/L/N."

"Really?" she asked, looking at you, and you just smiled and nodded, trying to take in her looking at the baby.

"Did you want to hold him?" you asked.

"Yeah, of course, just let me wash my hands first," she said, going into the bathroom, and Tyler came back over towards you, leaning in.

"Sorry, was it okay that I told her?"

"Yeah," you said, softly back, "I wanted you to tell her."

"Okay, good," Tyler said, and Jackie came back from watching her hands, and you lifted the baby up slightly towards her, while she bent down to pick him up. "Careful of his neck, Mom, you gotta support his head," Tyler said, and you laughed a little, "Wait, you know what to do, never mind."

You laughed again, watching Jackie rock a little back and forth with Bentley, her eyes transfixed on him. "Oh, he's perfect, he's so perfect."

You couldn't really say anything, because it was true. "I know."

"I thought he was gonna be weird looking, but he's really cute."

"Why did you think he was going to be weird looking?" Jackie laughed.

"Because Y/N said he might be weird looking when he came out, but he looked so cute," Tyler said, and you both laughed.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Jackie asked, breaking her eyes away from Bentley for just a moment.

"Alright, I'm okay."

"Tyler said you were in labour for a long time."

"Yeah, I was," you said, "I had really bad back labour, too. But it's okay, it was worth it."

"Yeah," Jackie smiled, looking down at Bentley again, "they kind of do that, don't they?"

"She did so good though, Mom, you should have seen her She was like, " Tyler said, pointing to his eyes, "So focused. And strong. And she didn't ever swear."

"He did really good, too," you said, nodding towards Tyler, and he looked kind of bashful.

"No, you did," he said, "It was so badass, she was completely badass. All moms are badass."

"You can open that, Y/N," Jackie said, nodding towards the gift bag she'd put on the bed.

"You didn't have to get me anything," you said, "You already did."

"Yeah, but you just had a baby," she said, "it's just a little something."

"I can open it if you don't want it," Tyler said, and you rolled your eyes slightly, pulling the package towards you, and pulling out the tissue paper on top.

"Those are for you," she said, as you pulled out a box of chocolates, tied with some drinking chocolate mixes on top.

"Oooh," you said, "I didn't even realize, but I so want hot chocolate. These smell so good, too, thank you."

"Just make sure to hide them from Tyler," Jackie joked.

"Just tell me what ones you want and I'll save them for you," Tyler said, and you rolled your eyes, smiling at the same time as you set them down on the bed. You reached back in, pulling out a pair of little striped socks that had stuffed puppy dogs on the top of the foot.

"Oh, are these rattles?" you asked, hearing them as you moved them.

"Yeah, aren't they cute?"

"So cute," you agreed, standing up to look in your bag, "it'll go so perfect with his going home outfit, the one Tyler got for him."

You showed her the black and white labrador retriever printed leggings and hat, and then stood behind her, looking over at Bentley, who was still sleeping soundly and looked very comfortable in her arms.

"Do you know when you'll get to go home?"

"I think tomorrow, they said, as long as him and I are still okay," you said, reaching over and lifting Bentley's little hat up, just a bit. "He's got a lot of hair."

"He does, yeah," she said.

"I need to get my mom to bring me some mittens for him, too, his nails were long so he keeps scratching his face," you said, running the top of your finger over his cheek. "His toes are really long, too, he's got Tyler's toes."

You unfurled the blanket out from under him until you got one foot free, and Jackie immediately laughed. "Yeah, those are Tyler's."

"You guys, don't make fun of our feet," Tyler whined.

"They're cute," the two of you said in unison. "On him," you added, and Tyler stuck his tongue out at you.

"There's one more thing in there for him, Y/N," she said nodding towards the gift bag once more. She had an interesting look on her face, like she was trying hard to hold back a smile, and you could tell just how keen she was for you to open it.

"Guess how long he was, Mom?" Tyler asked.

"How long?"

"19 inches," Tyler said, raising his eyebrows, "He knew he was 19 inches long, so that's why he decided he had to come out, even though it would have been cool for him to be born on the nineteenth."

You barked out a laugh, coming back to sit down on the side of the bed.

"He was 9 pounds, 1 ounce, too," Tyler added.

"He was not 9 pounds!"

"Shhhh..."

You shook your head, reaching into the bag to grab the last item, pulling out a brown stuffed dog, which looked so cuddly and wrinkly, and loved.

"That was Tyler's," Jackie said. "I got it cleaned and fixed up a little bit."

"Oh," you said, pulling it to your chest, tears already starting to come to your eyes. "You're sure you want him to have it?"

"Yeah, of course, honey."

"But what about.....?"

What about if Tyler had more children?

Jackie just shook her head, "That's for him."

Your hand, which had been at your chest went to your face as your face broke. "That's so special. Thank you."

"Okay, don't cry on it," Tyler said, taking it away from you, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you towards his mom, enveloping you both in a hug, and you laughed a little, sniffing at the same time, Tyler's hand rubbing up and down your back, even after you broke away from the hug. "See? Now he can sleep with this instead of Cash's goose. And you can tell him it used to be his Uncle Ty-Ty's "

"Goose?" You asked, "It's a duck."

Tyler pulled away from you, laughing. "It's a goose, are you crazy? I bought it, it said it was a goose."

"Well, they lied because it's clearly a duck," you laughed

"Well, you're wrong."

"I said it was a duck yesterday and you didn't correct me."

"Because you were in labour, I was trying to be nice," he said, "also, you were a little out of it, so I thought you just said the wrong word by mistake. But clearly not."

"Okay, if you think that's a goose..."

"Okay, Mom," Tyler said, picking up the offending toy. "What is this?"

And you could see her eyes flicking back and forth. "I don't know, Tyler."

"You're supposed to take my side."

"So you do know you're wrong," you quipped, to which Tyler looked dismayed.

"I'll take your side, and then Bentley will take her side," she said, to which Tyler laughed.

True to her promise, she left not soon after that, and you watched T.V. for a little longer and tried to get some rest while Bentley was still sleeping, and then Tyler had to leave to go for a team dinner, while your mom brought you dinner. She'd offered to go home and grab some stuff for the night to stay with you, and you'd taken her up on the offer, realizing you'd feel better having someone with you. It wasn't soon after she left, however, that Tyler came walking back in.

"Hey," you said, "you can't stay for very long, visitor hours are almost over."

"Can't I just stay here?"

"Well, my mom was going to."

"So you don't want me to?" Tyler asked, coming over to take a chocolate from the box you had open now on the table, next to the flowers your aunt had sent you.

"No, I didn't say that," you said, "but don't you have a game tomorrow?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, we're not gonna get any sleep."

"Yeah, I know, I can take a nap before the game, it's fine," Tyler said, "And you know I was planning to spend tonight at you house with you, anyways,but you're not there, so the hospital it is."

"You're sure though?" You asked, "I'm not going to be upset if you leave, you've already been here most of the day."

"I'm sure," Tyler said,"if you make me leave, then I'm going to be sad. And you know I can't play hockey when I'm sad."

"Okay," you laughed.

"Your mom can still come though."

"No, I think," you started, "I think I'll see if she just wants to stay home. She's not really going to be getting much sleep while she's staying with me. She should rest while she can."

Thankfully, you called your mom and she agreed with this plan, while Tyler set up Grey's Anatomy on the T.V., and then he started trying to crawl into bed with you.

"Tyler," you laughed, "I don't think you're supposed to be in here with me."

"Five minutes," he said.

"There's not enough room."

"Sure there is."

"Tyler, I have stitches, be careful."

Now he grimaced, getting up and going over to the recliner chair, pushing it closer to the side of your bed, so your heads would be mostly right by each other, Bentley in his bassinet closer to the middle of the bed, and Tyler's legs would be on the other side once he reclined the chair into a bed. And then he extended his hand out, resting his arm on your leg, "I guess we'll just have to cuddle like this then."

And so you did,, usually holding either Tyler's hand or Bentley, except for when you had to grab another chocolate.

And it felt really nice. And cozy, especially when you could see a little snow falling, illuminated by the street light, and Tyler made you hot chocolate to sip on as you watched your show together.

Just the three of you.


	49. Chapter 49

You stretched in bed, noticing, even then, that your belly felt so much smaller than it had before. 

And then you remembered, a smile coming across your face even before you opened his eyes.

He was here.

That was the first thing you thought as you became aware that you were in the hospital and light was shining through your eyelids, finally having gotten more than over an hour of straight sleep. You blinked open your eyes, seeing that the curtain was still drawn over the windows, and you could see light from a phone, illuminating a face sitting in the chair in the corner of the room.

"Tyler?" you asked, your voice sounding scratchy and a little weak, and the face turned towards you, smiling, the phone being set down so his face was being covered by shadows again.

"Hey, baby, how are you feeling?"

You looked down, at the clear bassinet that had been at the side of your bed all night, which was now empty, except for blankets scrunched up at the bottom, and you bolted upright. "Where is he?"

"They just took him to change him, babe, he's right in there," Tyler said, pointing at the adjoining bathroom, and now you could see the light coming under the door, and hear his quiet little cries ever now and then, and you relaxed back into the bed. "Sorry, we were trying not to wake you up, didn't mean to scare you."

"That's okay," you said, running your hand over your face. "I'm a little out of it."

"Yeah, well I think you ran the equivalent of like two to three marathons last night, so I think you're okay," he quirked his lips at you, coming over to squeeze you on the shoulder. "You feeling okay? Did you get any sleep?"

"A little," you said, blinking and then squinting at him, "Why are you not wearing a shirt?"

"Oh, I was doing skin-to-skin with him," Tyler said, scratching the back of his neck while your heart absolutely melted, and part of you wished you woke up a few minutes earlier. Or that something had taken pictures. "The nurses said it's good for him."

Part of you wondered if the nurses had only told him that to get him to take his shirt off, but they had actually been really great. And it wasn't like they'd just been sitting there staring at him. Plus, they'd encouraged you to do it, too.

"Is that okay?" Tyler asked as he put his shirt back on and you scoffed a little laugh.

"You don't have to ask me."

"Yeah, I do, you're his mom."

"Yeah, but you're his..." you said, "he's yours, too."

"No, he's not. He's yours."

"No, I know," you said softly, and then let out a breath, looking up at Tyler. "But he's kinda yours, too. In a way. "

Tyler looked down at you, chewing a little on his lip as he thought it through. "No, I know. I just..."

"He's not just mine," you said, feeling your emotions rise, "there's a lot of people who love him."

"Awe, babe, don't cry, I know," Tyler said, his arm coming to wrap around you squeezing your shoulder.

"I'm not sad, I'm so happy," you said.

"So, this crying thing is not gonna stop now that he's out of you?" Tyler asked.

You just smiled, shaking your head "no", a couple tears running down your cheeks, and you sat forward, taking your back off the mattress behind you. "You just...you don't have to ask my permission to hold him. Or to do something to take care of him."

Tyler smiled softly at you. "Okay, okay, I'll try," he said, "I don't really know what I'm doing though, if it's okay, so I might be asking you a lot of questions."

"I don't know what I'm doing either," you laughed.

"Yeah, you do," Tyler said, leaning over to place a kiss on his forehead. "You're his mom."

The bathroom door opened, and you turned to see the light shining into the room, the nurse cradling him, his little cries making you sit up a bit more in the bed, reaching your arms out towards him, and then you opened the robe you'd brought from home, revealing your tank top underneath, and she helped you settle him on your chest, her covering him with a blanket since he was naked other than his diaper, a little hat, and his hospital bracelets.

"Good morning, baby," you said, looking down at him, rubbing your hand up and down his back and you tried to soothe his little cries.

"We'll let him calm down a bit, and then you can try to feed him," she said, and you nodded, unable to take your gaze off him, "Y/N, I'm going to get you some breakfast, and some juice and water. Do you want some ibuprofen?"

"Yes, please," you said, shifting a little on the bed.

"Ice?"

"Yes, please," you said, looking down at your son still, "Thank you."

As soon as she left, Tyler whispered, "What is the ice for?"

You didn't say anything, because you thought it was rather obvious.

"Do you have to ice your boobs so the milk is cold?"

You immediately started laughing, which was really not a good thing, considering you had a fresh baby laying on your chest.

"No," you said, "Ow, don't make me laugh."

"I'm sorry, I was just asking."

"Little babies drink warm milk," you said, biting your lip to try not to laugh now, tears running down your face. You looked at Tyler, who now had his arms crossed over his chest, a little redness creeping into his cheeks and his gaze darting away like he was embarrassing. "Have you ever seem a woman walking around with an ice pack strapped to her chest?"

"No....." Tyler said slowly, and then looked back to you, "I don't see a lot of women with babies, okay?"

You laughed, wincing just a little.

"You alright?

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a bit sore."

"Where?"

"Everywhere?" You said, and then looked at Tyler's concerned face, as he winced as well. "I'm fine, Tyler, I don't even care, I'm so happy."

You bounced the baby a little more, feeling hin warm against you, listening to his whimpers fade, his mouth slowly opening and closing his dark eyes blinking. "Is my mom still here?"

"No, I told her she could go sleep for a bit, so she went to your house. Do you need her?"

"No, he might be okay to eat now, but I'll wait," you said, fixing his hat. At least he seemed content now. "I thought you left to go get sleep?"

He'd been there for a while, while they weighed and measured him, and checked him out. And, even after Nicole and Danielle left he'd fallen asleep sitting up on the padded bench, which your mom had slept in the reclining chair, until finally you'd told Tyler to go home and get some rest.

"Yeah, I did," he said, shaking his head a little and his hair looked unruly, and you could only imagine yours looked about the same, "I couldn't sleep, though, so I came back."

"You're not tired?"

"Honestly, not really," he shrugged.

"You don't have stuff to do?"

"No," he said, and then cracked a smile. "Why? You trying to get rid of me?"

"No, I'm trying not to get you in trouble," you said, "of course I want you to stay."

Tyler smiled, and then his eyes flicked downwards. "His eyes are open," he said, taking a step towards him, running his hand over the baby's head and crouching down so he was in his eyesight. "Hey little man."

You blinked away your emotion, and then swallowed it, lifting his hat up a little as you tried to look down. "Were his eyes closed when you had him?"

"I don't know, I couldn't see," Tyler said, "he was making really cute noises though."

"Like what?" You asked, turning the baby in you arms so you were cradling him and you could look at his eyes, but he started making little grumpy noises, stretching his arms and legs out.

"I don't know, like little noises with his mouth," Tyler said, "he sounded happy. Not like he does now."

"Yeah, could you grab a blanket and put it down on the bed for me, please?" You asked, nodding towards the ones that were in his bassinet, watching as Tyler grabbed it, coming to try and cover him like the nurse had, "like, flatten it out, I think he wants to be swaddled."

He laid it down diagonally to you, smoothing out any wrinkles and you were about to put the baby down, when Tyler reached in front, flipping down the top of the blanket like you'd showed him, and then he grinned at you.

"Thanks," you said, laying the baby down, moving your fingers over his chest, and took in his open eyes, and how long his eyelashes were.

"He's gorgeous," Tyler said, hovering behind you, and just staring at him like you were. "He looks like just like you."

"Do you think so?" You asked. Because, as you saw it, you really saw a lot of Tyler in him. He definately has Tyler's lips, and his cheeks.

"Mhmm," he said, so confidently that you couldn't argue with him. "For sure, he looks like you."

"He has your toes though," you said, wiggling them before you put the blanket over him.

"Yeah, he does," Tyler laughed, "I'm sorry, bud, but they're way cuter on you than me."

You smiled, finishing swaddling him up, and started looking like he was struggling hard to keep his eyes open, Tyler moving close to you, as you both looked at him.

"You did so good, babe," he said, moving his arm around your shoulders, as he sat down gingerly on the side of the bed, placing a kiss on the side of your head, "I'm so proud of you."

You smiled, leaning into him, but keeping your eyes trained on the little human you'd created in front of you, because you couldn't look away. "You did so good."

"I didn't do anything," he laughed.

You tore your gaze away from the baby to look at Tyler for only a second, and then slid your hand under to support his head, picking him up to cradle him because if you weren't looking at him you needed to be touching him.

"Yeah, you did, you rubbed my back, and held my hand, and brought me stuff," you said, "you listened to me yell at you."

"You didn't yell at me," Tyler laughed, "you were really nice, actually, you kept saying please and thank you, and you kept apologizing. Even though you could have totally been cussing me out."

"I'm pretty sure I remember screaming "no!" and "stop!" you at some point."

"Yeah," Tyler, tilting his head off to one side a shrugging, "I mean, you kind of did, yeah, but, to be honest, I was expecting a lot more yelling. You were just pushing your body so hard, if you needed to scream to get through it, then you needed to scream. But you did it. And once you got to start pushing him out, it was, like, game over. You got this look in your eye, like you were so intense and focused but you were, like, super loving at the same time? It was crazy. It was the most amazing thing I've ever gotten to be a part of."

And, somehow, it wasn't really his words that got you so much as his tone: he sounded absolutely in awe of the whole experience.

"I am so glad you were looking at him, not me, though. Because I was bawling like a baby," Tyler said, looking down at the baby. "Actually, not even like a baby, he was way cooler than me."

"You were crying that much?" You asked. You knew, for sure, that he'd teared up.

"I was a mess," he said, "I'm so happy everyone was looking at him, it was really embarrassing."

You looked over at Tyler, who was now almost resting his head on your shoulder, watching the baby like you were.

"Don't say awe," he said, "Just don't, I'm fragile."

You laughed, and he rubbed his beard against your neck. "Seriously," he continued, "If I cry, then you're gonna cry, and then he's gonna cry, and then it's just gonna be chaos, so don't go 'awe' at me."

"Okay," you laughed, looking back down at the baby, "Awe, he's yawning."

"He's tired," Tyler said.

"But his eyes are open," you said.

"Yeah, what colour are they? Blue?"

"Yeah, but they might change," you said, watching as Tyler leaned over a little closer, and you watched the baby's hazy eyes just wavered in Tyler's general direction, and you could actually hear Tyler grin from your side.

"Who's that? Is that your —?" You said to the baby, and then stopped, looking back at Tyler, "what do you want him to call you?"

"Uncle Ty-Ty," he answered without missing a beat.

"He is not calling you Uncle Ty-Ty,'" you scoffed.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not calling you Uncle Ty-Ty."

"Well, it's too late, him and me already talked about it."

"Him and I," you corrected.

"I thought you would be tired," Tyler laughed, pointing his finger towards you like he was going to poke you but couldn't quite decide where would be okay, so he just settled for booping you on the nose, and then he looked back at the baby. "Does he have a name yet?"

"Yes, he does," you smiled, turning to look at Tyler.

"Well, are you going to tell me?"

"Yes," you laughed, looking back at the baby, and then back at Tyler again, unable to keep the smiling off your face, "It's Bentley."

"Bentley?" he repeated.

"Yeah," you answered, moving your free hand up and down the baby's chest, but keeping your eyes focused on Tyler. "Bentley Tyler Y/L/N."

Tyler's face, with had previously been smiling, leaning towards the baby like he was trying to match the face with the name dropped in shock, and he stood up suddenly, taking a couple of steps back from the bed. "You're shitting me."

"No," you shook your head, laughing and smiling, and then you pointed over to the whiteboard, where his name was written, that Tyler clearly hadn't even noticed. "That's his name, Bentley Tyler. Do you like it?"

"Do I like it?" he whispered, his eyes already brimmed red, and then he blinked, and tears starts running down his face, and your heart went into your throat, your eyes filling too, but the smile remained on your face, and Tyler just shifted his weight back and forth between his feet. "Babe...." He said, like he was pleading with you, like he couldn't handle it or put into words how he felt, and you couldn't really handle it either. Like, you had expected his reaction just to be a big grin or something. But this was way better than you'd even imagined.

"He wouldn't be here without you," you said, "I can't ever begin to thank you. And you're, just, you're a part of him, so yeah."

And now Tyler smirked at you, just a little, "I did the fun part, though, you did all the work."

"I don't mean that," you said, "Well, obviously that. But the way you were there for me, when I was pregnant, and in labour, you were amazing, Tyler. Even before I got pregnant. I couldn't have done any of this without you."

"You're sure, though, like...?" he asked, and you laughed at how unprepared he was for all of this.

"Yes, I'm positive. 100%," you said, rocking the baby just a little, "I love his name so much."

"I love you guys so much," he said, stepping back towards you and hugging you, his hand going on your arm where you were holding the baby, and he placed a kiss to your forehead and you could feel just how wet his face was with tears and then he leaned down, kissing the baby's forehead, too, just over his hat, and then he stood back up, running his hands over his face and then through his hair, which only made him look like more of a mess, to be honest.

"Do you like the Bentley part, too?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's not as great as the Tyler part, that's my favourite, but it suits him, and it'd get a little confusing if you called him 'Tyler', too," he said, "Wait, is this why there's that 'B' pillow in his room?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I thought it stood for baby," he said, and you laughed, "Or blob. Aw, do you remember when he was just a little blob? And now he's got like arms, and legs, and toes. And fingers. It's so crazy. Like, we just fucked, and it made an actual human being, and he's cute. It's so crazy, you made that."

"Well, we did."

"No, I know, but you grew him so you get more credit," he said, "But, yeah, we did make that. We made a Bentley."

You laughed a little looking back at him, and then saw he was crying again, and he leaned forward into your neck, "Please don't tell anyone about this."

"Okay," you laughed, leaning your head against his because your hands were occupied.

"I think I need to be swaddled, and given a pacifier," he said, "I see now why you were crying all the time."

"Does this mean you'll stop making fun of me?"

"Nope," he quipped, smiling against you, and then he stood up from the bed when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Hi, I'm Allison, I'm a lactation consultant," she said, stepping forward towards you, and you just smiled at her because you had no hands free to shake hers. "How's he doing?"

"I think he's getting hungry," you said.

"Do you want to try to feed him in the chair?" she asked, and you agreed, letting her take Bentley and hand him over to Tyler so she could help you up, transfixed as you watched her gently pass him to Tyler and making sure that he had him, both of Tyler's arms held under the bundle like he was afraid to drop him, standing unmoving, just watching him the whole time, and she helped you stand up, you taking off your robe so you were just in your tank top before you sat down.

"Wow, you still look pregnant," Tyler said, and you both turned to look at him, however Allison looked much, much more shocked than you did. "Oh my god, I mean, you still look great, obviously, like, that's a given. I just wasn't expecting it, to be, like round, anymore, like I thought it'd look squishier, and like softer, that he was out? Like deflated? Wow, I really cannot talk. I am so sorry."

Allison continued to look absolutely mortified, while you were trying not to laugh, honestly. "My uterus has to contract back down, Tyler, that's why I still look pregnant."

"Ohhh...." he said, "That makes sense. I wasn't expecting you to go back to normal, like, you made a human being, your body is going to be different, not in a bad way, like..."

"I understand what you mean," you laughed, and he mouthed 'sorry' at you again, as the lactation consultant helped you get set up with a breastfeeding pillow and was asking you some more general questions about how breastfeeding had been going, and then you caught Tyler just starting at your bare chest and you gave him a look to warn him to keep his mouth shut, because you could tell that he was about to make a comment, probably about how big your nipples looked or something, until finally Tyler grinned and looked back down at the baby

"Could you bring him over here, please?" Allison asked.

"Uhh.." Tyler said, moving one foot forward as if he was going to walk over, but he never took a step, his arms still cradled around Bentley. "I kind of don't want to walk with him."

"Okay," she laughed under her breath, going over, and you wanted as Tyler ever so carefully handed him off. It was adorable, really, because his arms and hands were so big compared to the baby, and he seemed almost kind of awkward with him. She helped you get organized, and you tried to listen to her but you caught Tyler straight up staring at you, and you realized that, even though he'd been here when you fed the baby before, there'd been a lot of other people with you, and Tyler was in the corner of the room just there, not really watching like he was now, and you gave him a little look because you felt completely on display, and it didn't really feel as natural and beautiful as you thought it might feel yet, and you already had had gloved hands all over you, trying to help. Tyler blinked, and then tried to look put the window casually but the drapes were closed so he went over to open them, a little light brightening up the room even more, even though it was fairly overcast outside, looking like it might rain. Or snow, actually, both of which might kind of suck.

"Sorry, is that too bright for him?" Tyler whispered, and you shook your head.

"He's fine, why are you whispering?"

"She said he could get distracted easy when he's trying to eat," he whispered back, and then he briefly looked down, pointing towards you, laughing under his breath. "Hey, look how he's grabbing your tit."

"Tyler," you said through gritted teeth, just feeling the baby's hand resting on your chest as he fed.

He grimaced, already reaching for his zip-up. "I'm just gonna go grab something to eat, I'll be back in a bit."

You tried not to laugh, as you finished feeding him, and then he was sleeping on your chest as you were eating your breakfast with one hand when Tyler came back in the room, and smiled at you, tilting his head almost immediately to look at Bentley's asleep face, and then his phone followed.

"Does he look comfortable?"

"Yeah, he's all snuggled up," Tyler said, leaning over to show you the picture he'd just taken, and you couldn't get over the little wrinkle on the bridge of his nose he had when he slept. Tyler sat down on the bench, looking through something on his phone, and then he looked up at you. "Is it alright if I send a picture of him to my mom?"

"Yes," you said easily, slightly surprised he hadn't already.

"You're sure?" Tyler said, raising his eyebrows as he continued to look at his phone. "Because once she sees him, she'll probably be begging to come visit."

"She can come visit," you said, taking a bite of your oatmeal.

"Really?" Tyler asked, and now you realized he'd been joking. "Aren't you tired?"

"Yeah, but I don't care," you said, "she's coming to see him, not me, and I can barely get any sleep anyways, because they're in here to check on me or him every hour anyways. If she wants to come see him, she can."

"Okay," Tyler said, typing on his phone.

"Just maybe tell her in the afternoon? They're gonna give him a bath, and he has to go get some tests done."

"Tests?" Tyler asked, "What kind of tests?"

"They're just routine tests, like to get his hearing tested and stuff, and they screen for certain things."

"Oh, okay."

"Do you want to go with him?" you asked, "They don't want me to walk around much yet, and I think someone's going to come help me shower when he's gone." You looked at Tyler hopefully, knowing it was kind of a big ask, but it kind of broke your heart to think about him going alone. And Bentley pretty much knew Tyler as much as he did you.

"Umm..what do I have to do?"

"Nothing, you just have to take him there, and just stay with him."

"Do I have to hold him while I walk?" Tyler asked, looking at you like that might be a problem.

"No, he can just go in there," you said, nodding towards the plastic bassinet, "they just push him. You don't have to do anything, there's gonna be a nurse there. Just stand there and keep an eye on him? Since I can't."

"Sure, that's no problem."

"Can you make sure that you keep on eye on him at all times? Please?" You weren't entirely sure why, because everybody in the hospital had been so great, but you just had these kind of irrational fears, that he might get scared and not know anyone around him. Or that he could somehow get lost, and you had this vision of Tyler somehow looking at his phone for a split second, only for the baby to be rolled off somewhere.

"I will," he said, "I promise."

"Okay, good," you said, rubbing your free hand up and down Bentley's back before you went back to your breakfast.

"It's hard to look at anything other than him when he's in a room, anyways."

"Yeah," you breathed, feeling the weight of him against you. "He has to get a needle." You whispered the last word over his head, like you didn't want him to hear it. Which was really a big reason why you didn't want to go with him, otherwise you probably would make them take you. "To get his blood tested."

"Oh, he'll be fine, babe," Tyler said, and you gave him a rather doubtful look. "You had to get an I.V. which is way worse than a blood test, and you were fine. He's gonna be tough like his mama."

"He's just a little baby though."

"He'll be okay, I'll hold his hand," Tyler said, tilting his head a little, "it's gonna be worse for you then it is for him, you know."

"I know."

"I get it, though, I was so freaked out cutting his cord."

"What? Why?"

"Because I thought it was going to hurt him," Tyler said, looking at you curiously, "You didn't hear me asking the nurse?"

You shook your head "no".

"Yeah, he kind of freaks me out a little bit," Tyler said, "Not that he's freaky, just that I don't want to do anything that's gonna make him upset. I'll let the doctors and nurses be the bad guys, and I'll just cuddle him."

"That's the best part," you said.

"Mhmmm..." Tyler agreed, leaning in closer towards the baby, "I'm gonna cuddle with you, and play with you, and buy you cool stuff, and let you do whatever you want. And if your Mom is being mean to you and not letting you do cool stuff, you can come stay with your Uncle Ty-Ty and we'll work together to get her to change the rules. Because sometimes she gets a little crazy."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"Shhh..." he said towards you, resting his head above the baby's, "The Tyler's are talking."

You laughed, and then you were forced to pretend that you were looking out the window and not listening into their conversation. After that, a nurse came in to give Bentley his first bath, which you made Tyler record on your phone, which mostly consisted of him being laid out on a towel by the sink as he was given a sponge bath, which he was really not happy about at all, to which Tyler just looked at you and mouthed the word "mean" pointing towards the nurse. He did, however, seem to enjoy having his hair rinsed under the sink, and then you were enticed to want to kick Tyler because he made a comment to Bentley that he should keep any girls he finds who are willing to give him a bath like that. After that, you went to go shower while Tyler and Bentley went off to get his tests done, and you were sitting back in bed, watching T.V. when Tyler came back in, pushing Bentley in the bassinet in front of him until he was next to your bed again, and you couldn't quite tell if he was hanging his head or just looking at the baby.

"That was awful," Tyler said, and you sat up a little, trying to look at the baby, "He's fine, he's sleeping." He was, too, all wrapped up with a pacifier in his mouth. It seemed clichéd to say, but he really did look angelic.

"What happened?"

"Oh, his hearing's fine, by the way," he said, "But they took this needle, and they pricked his heel, and then they were like rubbing his little foot to get blood out of it."

"Did he cry?" you asked, already getting up to pick up the baby. You knew, probably, that you shouldn't wake a sleeping baby, but you couldn't help it, you really just needed to hold him. Luckily, he only stirred just a little, but you rocked him a little and he settled, and you suspected he was probably really tired, both from his bath and his little outing.

"Yes, a little," Tyler said, and then he came back over to the bed where you were now sitting with the baby, coming to sit next to you and he looked like he just wanted to rest his head on your chest but the he reconsidered, leaning into your shoulder. "I really didn't like it."

"Did you cry?"

"No, but I wanted to, I was trying to keep it together for him," he said, and you just kind of all laid there for a minute, the sound of the television on in the background. "They gave me this, I don't know why."

You looked down to see that Tyler was holding his wrist, with a hospital bracelet wrapped around it, next to yours.

"Oh, that's just to say that you can stay with him," you said, "He's got one, too, in case he gets too close to the doors."

"What?" Tyler asked, "How is he going to get to the doors? He's a baby."

"If someone took him," you said, "All the babies have alarms, it's a security thing."

"People steal babies?" Tyler asked, sitting up now, his voice a little loud, and then he seemed to realize the baby was sleeping, but you didn't really think anything would wake him up right now.

"Unfortunately, sometimes, yeah," you said, "It just makes sure he's safe, it's a precaution. They just usually put bracelets on the baby, and the mom and the dad."

"Oh," Tyler said, and was quiet for a moment, and then he said, "Do you think that I might get in trouble for being with him because I'm not actually his Dad?"

"No," you said, "That's why they gave you the bracelet, so they know it's okay."

"But the papers?" he asked, tracing his fingers over the blankets.

"The papers don't matter, Tyler, they're just for legal reasons, they're not to keep you away from being with him, you're still part of his family."

"No, I know, I know what it's like at home, I just didn't know in the hospital, like if I did a thing with him that Dads normally do that I'd get in trouble. "

"No," you laughed a little, "that's not how it works. Like, if you weren't here, then my mom would be, and she would go with him, and they'd give her a bracelet."

"So it's just for who you say can be with him if you're not there, but I don't have to, like, make decisions for him or anything?"

"Yes," you said. "Like, if you didn't have that bracelet, they wouldn't let you bring him back to the room by yourself, someone would come with you."

"So you knew that I wouldn't steal him?" Tyler said, a little smile on his face.

"Well, you can't take him out of the ward anyways, I can't even yet because he's not ready to leave the hospital."

"I still could have taken him cruising to look and see if there are any girl babies around. While his mom isn't watching."

"Tyler," you laughed.

"I couldn't handle that, I was just trying to get him back to you as fast as possible without banging him into stuff."

You laughed, because he was seriously so concerned about being too much for the baby, and it was seriously cute, and you could just imagine him white knuckling the edge of the bassinet And you loved, seriously loved, the way he wasn't trying to hide from you just how unsure he felt. Or how emotional he'd been.

"I think they want me to try and walk a little bit later in the hallways, so we can all go."

"Yeah, I think it's better that you're there anyways, in case something goes wrong with him, because I don't know what to do if he cries," Tyler said, and then you heard his phone beep from his pocket. "My mom's here, I'm gonna go get her, okay?"

"Yeah," You smiled, watching as he got up. You were vaguely aware that you had no makeup on and probably looked exhausted, your hair already having gone back into a top knot after your shower, but you didn't really care, and you knew she would understand. You could hear their voices in the hallway, and then you Tyler opened the door back up, stepping in and looking back at his mom, who had a gift bag in her hands, as if he wanted to see her reaction.

"Hi," she said, in a hushed voice, smiling, taking a couple of steps into the room, and Tyler shut the door behind her. "I won't stay for long, just wanted to come say hi."

"Thank you," you said, "He's sleeping right now." You turned the bundle towards her, letting her know that it was okay to come closer.

"Oh, he's beautiful," Jackie said, setting the gift bag she had in her hands down on the foot of the bed, taking her glasses on then off, like she couldn't decide which was the better way to see him. "Congratulations."

"What are you doing?" Tyler laughed, "Just look at him like a normal person."

You both ignored her, bouncing the baby a little, and she hugged you gently and as much as she could while you were holding the baby. "This is Bentley."

"Aw, that's perfect," she said, "Hi Bentley."

"Guess what his middle name is, Mom?" Tyler asked, "It's a name you really, really like."

"What's that?"

"Tyler," Tyler said, and he looked so, so happy. "His name is Bentley Tyler Y/L/N."

"Really?" she asked, looking at you, and you just smiled and nodded, trying to take in her looking at the baby.

"Did you want to hold him?" you asked.

"Yeah, of course, just let me wash my hands first," she said, going into the bathroom, and Tyler came back over towards you, leaning in.

"Sorry, was it okay that I told her?"

"Yeah," you said, softly back, "I wanted you to tell her."

"Okay, good," Tyler said, and Jackie came back from watching her hands, and you lifted the baby up slightly towards her, while she bent down to pick him up. "Careful of his neck, Mom, you gotta support his head," Tyler said, and you laughed a little, "Wait, you know what to do, never mind."

You laughed again, watching Jackie rock a little back and forth with Bentley, her eyes transfixed on him. "Oh, he's perfect, he's so perfect."

You couldn't really say anything, because it was true. "I know."

"I thought he was gonna be weird looking, but he's really cute."

"Why did you think he was going to be weird looking?" Jackie laughed.

"Because Y/N said he might be weird looking when he came out, but he looked so cute," Tyler said, and you both laughed.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Jackie asked, breaking her eyes away from Bentley for just a moment.

"Alright, I'm okay."

"Tyler said you were in labour for a long time."

"Yeah, I was," you said, "I had really bad back labour, too. But it's okay, it was worth it."

"Yeah," Jackie smiled, looking down at Bentley again, "they kind of do that, don't they?"

"She did so good though, Mom, you should have seen her She was like, " Tyler said, pointing to his eyes, "So focused. And strong. And she didn't ever swear."

"He did really good, too," you said, nodding towards Tyler, and he looked kind of bashful.

"No, you did," he said, "It was so badass, she was completely badass. All moms are badass."

"You can open that, Y/N," Jackie said, nodding towards the gift bag she'd put on the bed.

"You didn't have to get me anything," you said, "You already did."

"Yeah, but you just had a baby," she said, "it's just a little something."

"I can open it if you don't want it," Tyler said, and you rolled your eyes slightly, pulling the package towards you, and pulling out the tissue paper on top.

"Those are for you," she said, as you pulled out a box of chocolates, tied with some drinking chocolate mixes on top.

"Oooh," you said, "I didn't even realize, but I so want hot chocolate. These smell so good, too, thank you."

"Just make sure to hide them from Tyler," Jackie joked.

"Just tell me what ones you want and I'll save them for you," Tyler said, and you rolled your eyes, smiling at the same time as you set them down on the bed. You reached back in, pulling out a pair of little striped socks that had stuffed puppy dogs on the top of the foot.

"Oh, are these rattles?" you asked, hearing them as you moved them.

"Yeah, aren't they cute?"

"So cute," you agreed, standing up to look in your bag, "it'll go so perfect with his going home outfit, the one Tyler got for him."

You showed her the black and white labrador retriever printed leggings and hat, and then stood behind her, looking over at Bentley, who was still sleeping soundly and looked very comfortable in her arms.

"Do you know when you'll get to go home?"

"I think tomorrow, they said, as long as him and I are still okay," you said, reaching over and lifting Bentley's little hat up, just a bit. "He's got a lot of hair."

"He does, yeah," she said.

"I need to get my mom to bring me some mittens for him, too, his nails were long so he keeps scratching his face," you said, running the top of your finger over his cheek. "His toes are really long, too, he's got Tyler's toes."

You unfurled the blanket out from under him until you got one foot free, and Jackie immediately laughed. "Yeah, those are Tyler's."

"You guys, don't make fun of our feet," Tyler whined.

"They're cute," the two of you said in unison. "On him," you added, and Tyler stuck his tongue out at you.

"There's one more thing in there for him, Y/N," she said nodding towards the gift bag once more. She had an interesting look on her face, like she was trying hard to hold back a smile, and you could tell just how keen she was for you to open it.

"Guess how long he was, Mom?" Tyler asked.

"How long?"

"19 inches," Tyler said, raising his eyebrows, "He knew he was 19 inches long, so that's why he decided he had to come out, even though it would have been cool for him to be born on the nineteenth."

You barked out a laugh, coming back to sit down on the side of the bed.

"He was 9 pounds, 1 ounce, too," Tyler added.

"He was not 9 pounds!"

"Shhhh..."

You shook your head, reaching into the bag to grab the last item, pulling out a brown stuffed dog, which looked so cuddly and wrinkly, and loved.

"That was Tyler's," Jackie said. "I got it cleaned and fixed up a little bit."

"Oh," you said, pulling it to your chest, tears already starting to come to your eyes. "You're sure you want him to have it?"

"Yeah, of course, honey."

"But what about.....?"

What about if Tyler had more children?

Jackie just shook her head, "That's for him."

Your hand, which had been at your chest went to your face as your face broke. "That's so special. Thank you."

"Okay, don't cry on it," Tyler said, taking it away from you, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you towards his mom, enveloping you both in a hug, and you laughed a little, sniffing at the same time, Tyler's hand rubbing up and down your back, even after you broke away from the hug. "See? Now he can sleep with this instead of Cash's goose. And you can tell him it used to be his Uncle Ty-Ty's "

"Goose?" You asked, "It's a duck."

Tyler pulled away from you, laughing. "It's a goose, are you crazy? I bought it, it said it was a goose."

"Well, they lied because it's clearly a duck," you laughed

"Well, you're wrong."

"I said it was a duck yesterday and you didn't correct me."

"Because you were in labour, I was trying to be nice," he said, "also, you were a little out of it, so I thought you just said the wrong word by mistake. But clearly not."

"Okay, if you think that's a goose..."

"Okay, Mom," Tyler said, picking up the offending toy. "What is this?"

And you could see her eyes flicking back and forth. "I don't know, Tyler."

"You're supposed to take my side."

"So you do know you're wrong," you quipped, to which Tyler looked dismayed.

"I'll take your side, and then Bentley will take her side," she said, to which Tyler laughed.

True to her promise, she left not soon after that, and you watched T.V. for a little longer and tried to get some rest while Bentley was still sleeping, and then Tyler had to leave to go for a team dinner, while your mom brought you dinner. She'd offered to go home and grab some stuff for the night to stay with you, and you'd taken her up on the offer, realizing you'd feel better having someone with you. It wasn't soon after she left, however, that Tyler came walking back in.

"Hey," you said, "you can't stay for very long, visitor hours are almost over."

"Can't I just stay here?"

"Well, my mom was going to."

"So you don't want me to?" Tyler asked, coming over to take a chocolate from the box you had open now on the table, next to the flowers your aunt had sent you.

"No, I didn't say that," you said, "but don't you have a game tomorrow?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, we're not gonna get any sleep."

"Yeah, I know, I can take a nap before the game, it's fine," Tyler said, "And you know I was planning to spend tonight at you house with you, anyways,but you're not there, so the hospital it is."

"You're sure though?" You asked, "I'm not going to be upset if you leave, you've already been here most of the day."

"I'm sure," Tyler said,"if you make me leave, then I'm going to be sad. And you know I can't play hockey when I'm sad."

"Okay," you laughed.

"Your mom can still come though."

"No, I think," you started, "I think I'll see if she just wants to stay home. She's not really going to be getting much sleep while she's staying with me. She should rest while she can."

Thankfully, you called your mom and she agreed with this plan, while Tyler set up Grey's Anatomy on the T.V., and then he started trying to crawl into bed with you.

"Tyler," you laughed, "I don't think you're supposed to be in here with me."

"Five minutes," he said.

"There's not enough room."

"Sure there is."

"Tyler, I have stitches, be careful."

Now he grimaced, getting up and going over to the recliner chair, pushing it closer to the side of your bed, so your heads would be mostly right by each other, Bentley in his bassinet closer to the middle of the bed, and Tyler's legs would be on the other side once he reclined the chair into a bed. And then he extended his hand out, resting his arm on your leg, "I guess we'll just have to cuddle like this then."

And so you did,, usually holding either Tyler's hand or Bentley, except for when you had to grab another chocolate.

And it felt really nice. And cozy, especially when you could see a little snow falling, illuminated by the street light, and Tyler made you hot chocolate to sip on as you watched your show together.

Just the three of you.


	50. Chapter 50

Everything was different.

In the most crazy, amazing, overwhelming and completely life-changing way, it was all different.

It was like your previous life, with all of it's separate little aspects of your life - work, and me time, and play time, and friends and family, had just been placed in a blender, and combined into one. Suddenly your whole life revolved around this one, tiny little creature. And it was wonderful.

It was overwhelming, too, because, even more so than when you were pregnant, it felt like your body wasn't your own. Except now, too, he didn't feel as safe like he did in your belly, and you quickly sort of felt like it was just the two of you, living in this world separate from the outside one, when you didn't quite know if it was day or night, and your only routine consisted of eating as soon as possible whenever you felt hungry, and showering when you realized your hair was matted.

But, mostly, it was wonderful.

And you were so thankful that you had friends and family who were more than willing to come by and fold laundry for you, and bring you Starbucks or meals.

Though, you were pretty sure that the major draw was just getting to hold Bentley. Like, now, when your sister had offered to do the dishes for you, but somehow would back up in the living room, leaning over to look at the baby as Danielle held him.

You really didn't mind at all.

"He looks so much like Tyler," Danielle said, just barely taking her eyes off the baby.

"I know," you said, smiling softly. "Tyler thinks he looks like me, thought."

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah, that's what he said."

"He's got your nose, though," Nicole said. "And your complexion."

"Do you really think so?"

"Yeah," she said, "Maybe you just see the other person in him, I don't know."

"So you don't think he looks like Tyler?" you asked.

"Oh, no, he totally does. I'm just saying he looks like you, too."

"Sorry, it doesn't bother you, does it?" Danielle asked quietly.

"That he looks like Tyler?" you asked, and she nodded, "No, I kind of expected it."

You kind of loved it, too, to just be able to look at your son and not just be able to feel Tyler in him, but be able to see him as well. But it really did make the fact that you were hopelessly in love with him rather difficult, when he wasn't right there with you all the time. But at least you had a part of him, and could be reminded every single day, even at 4 AM, that Bentley was a part of him, too.

"No, I mean that people say he looks like Tyler more often than they say he looks like you."

"Oh, no," you said, "that doesn't bother me at all."

In fact, you kind of loved that, too, because it was really obvious that you were Bentley's mother, and this was just another way to remind you that you and Tyler made him. Together.

And he was a beautiful combination of you both.

You had hoped that he looked like Tyler, and you felt you had expected it. But, what you didn't expect, was how much you really wanted Tyler with you, after you'd had the baby. You knew how much you wanted him in your last few weeks of pregnancy and how much you felt like you needed him in labour, and you felt so, so thankful that he was able to be there, with you, in the hospital, in the days after you'd given birth. But being out of the hospital and at home felt so different. There was almost kind of this weird letdown, because it felt like for so long the goal had been to just get pregnant, and then to just give birth, even though you felt so happy and lucky to have him here. But you didn't really feel quite like yourself yet again, or begun to find your new routine as a mom, and you knew you were still healing and that your hormones were all wacky, so you knew things would even out, even though it didn't necessarily feel like it.

Even when you had your mom there, you felt like it wasn't quite the same, because she had done this before, and it wasn't like this was all new to her, and you weren't really sure if that was the reason or if it had to due to the fact that she was just your mom and you were an adult, but it felt hard to be complete vulnerable and feel like a total mess around her when you did.

Because you were so focused on the baby, you didn't really think about Tyler having to leave this time. He'd come over, after the game and Bentley, who'd actually slept for most of the game, so he was up with both while you were watching T.V. until 1 A.M., when he'd finally gone down for a bit and didn't seem like he wanted to constantly eat. Luckily, at that point, your mom had already gone to bed, which meant that Tyler could sneak into bed with you. Which, in itself, was ridiculous, because it felt like you were teenagers again, not an adult in your own house. This time, though, Tyler did actually wake up when got up with the baby, blinking at you sleepily each time, his head propped up in his hands as he asked if there was anything he could do. Except for time you said he could refill your water bottle, he pretty much stayed in bed, but he always moved his arms around when you got back in bed, feeling warm aand steady behind your back, his face often buried in your neck, and, even though you didn't sleep much because you just kind of felt like you needed to keep your eye on the baby, you felt rested, and comforted. And safe.

You wanted him in your bed every night.

It was even easier, this time, when he had to leave. Partially because your mom was there, and she'd gotten up earlier than the two of you and Tyler had pretended he'd been only just come into your bedroom to use your shower so your mom could have the other bathroom to get ready for the day, but she'd made you all breakfast and between her and the baby, it wasn't like you were just dwelling on the fact that he had to go, and trying to soak up every moment; there was just so much else going on. It wasn't like you could just stay in his arms forever either, not with Bentley in yours, because then you were too busy just getting lost in the way Tyler talked sweetly to the baby, kissing him and rubbing his little hand.

But you really didn't know how you'd done this all of these years, managing to be apart from him for part of the year, and then having him back in your life full force again. And you'd even seen him more this year than you'd had in the past, and you knew, pretty much every time you'd had to say goodbye, you'd get to see him again in no more than a month.

But now, with the playoffs, you didn't know how long you'd have to go. And he was so caught up in practices, and games, and travel, and media, while you were so caught up in naps, pacifiers, diapers, laundry, and sleepless nights.

It kind of felt like you were living separate lives, again.

And you had this feeling that, as long as he was gone, it would feel a little like your whole family wasn't together.

"Y/N?"

You looked up to see that Danielle was now standing up with Bentley, bouncing him gently as he whined in her arms, and you could hear your sister back in the kitchen. You stood up, taking the baby from her, rocking him back and forth as you reached for his wubbanub pacifier with one hand, which you now had stashed all around your house. "Shhh..." you soothed, "What's wrong, baby? Are you tired?"

You walked back and forth with him a little bit, holding his pacifier with your finger until he started sucking it steadily, his eyes beginning to get heavy, and then your sat back down on the couch with him.

"He falls asleep easily," Danielle commented.

"During the day, yeah," you said, "He likes to stay up super late, he's a night owl."

"Does he have his days and nights mixed up?"

"Maybe," you said, "I don't know, he doesn't really seem very fussy, so I'm not complaining."

"He's a good baby," Danielle said, looking down over him and then back at you, "So, did it go away, after you had him?"

"Did what go away?"

"Your feelings for Tyler."

She was looking at you, in a way that struck you as trying not to be too smug, and you pursed your lips, shaking your head slowly. And then you groaned, letting your head fall back against the couch. "It got worse."

"It got worse?"

"Yeah, seeing him with the baby, it got way, way worse. Like, how can I not love him, when he's so good with my child?" You said, and then in a more reflective tone, added, "I think I might always love Tyler."

"What?" Nicole yelled from the kitchen, and then stormed back into the living room, and then did a double take at the sleeping baby in your arms, lowering her voice to a whisper. "You're in love with Tyler?"

You inhaled , running your free hand over your face. "Yeah...." you ground out, hesitantly, unsure of what your sister's reaction might be. She was not too pleased when she'd heard you had slept with Tyler.

Instead, though, she gasped, her hands covering her mouth. "Oh my god, that's amazing."

"What do you mean it's amazing?" Amazing wasn't quite the word you'd used to describe it. More like all all-encompassing, and overwhelming, and complicated. And just...just a lot.

"You love each other, and you have a baby together," she said, "I knew you weren't just friends! At the hospital, the way you were acting.. both of you."

She looked downright giddy, how you imagined you might be had that been the case, and you felt almost bad having to tell her the truth. "We're not together."

"Because both of them refuse to talk about their feelings with each other," Danielle cut in, and you watched as Nicole turned to her.

"Did you know they had sex?"

"Oh, yeah, how do you think they made him?" She asked, nodding towards the baby.

"What?" Nicole gasped, looking at you in pure shock. It would have been comical, had it not been for the fact that this was her reaction to your life. "I thought you did the thing...at the doctor?"

"We did. Once. And then..."

"And then what? You just fell on his dick?"

"No," you said irritatedly, "Tyler just suggested it."

"He what? That's how he got in your pants? He just suggested it?"

"We were trying to get pregnant, Nicole," you said, "it wasn't like he just randomly suggested we have sex. He was only here for the summer, which meant we could only try, and the doctor's office, maybe three times while he was home. And there wasn't any reason why it wouldn't work for us at home."

"And you're sure he wasn't just trying to get laid?"

"Yes," you said, as if you were offended that she would even ask such a thing, and she gave you that that look, like she often did when you weren't telling her everything she wanted to hear, "We've been friends forever, okay? And not once has he tried to have sex with me. And it wasn't even like he was trying to, he just said it, said I could think about it, and then he never brought it up again, he just being, acting like my friend."

"Then how many times did you?"

"I don't know," you said. "A lot. There was a reason."

"So, then, after you were already pregnant, were you hoping you could get more pregnant or something?"

"Nicole," you said between gritted teeth, and she was quiet for a moment.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" she asked. "you told me you went to the doctor. Every month."

Because of exactly the way that she was acting right now.

"Because," you said, "Because it's not how people - usually... conceive. In our situation."

"It does when those two people are in love with each other," she quipped, and you sighed.

"It's not that simple."

"What do you mean it's not simple? You love each other, and you had his baby. How much more simple could you get?"

"He's not really Tyler's baby, though," Danielle said, "I mean, he is, but he's not."

Nicole looked at her, and then you like this just did not make any sense to her. "But don't you want to be a family?"

You swallowed the emotion you felt in your throat. Of course, you just wanted to be a family. When Tyler said goodbye to Bentley, when he kissed him one last time before he left, and told him to be good for his mama, he felt just like his dad.

"Tyler's always gonna be part of my family."

"But he could be more."

"Not if he doesn't want to."

"You don't think he wants to?" she asked. And you shook your head quietly, just snuggling your baby. "But he loves you. And you love him."

"But that doesn't always mean things work out," you said.

Now she sighed, sitting on the arm of the couch next to you. "Why do you think it wouldn't work out?"

"Because it hasn't," you said, "If he wanted to be with me, then he could have said something."

"But so could you."

"I know, I know," you said, "But everything changed after I had the baby."

"What changed? You don't think he loves you anymore?" Nicole asked, "Because, seriously, I love you. And I love my nephew. But I did not even look when you were pushing him out. Tyler looked at your vagina when you were pushing a baby out of it. If that doesn't say he loves you, like forever and always, I don't know what does."

You took your free hand, rubbing it over your face. "I know, I know," you said, "But he didn't kiss me back."

"What do you mean he didn't kiss you back?"

"I tried to kiss him, the day we brought Bentley home. And he pulled away."

"He pulled away?" Danielle asked now, "why?"

"I don't know," you said, "I was gonna kiss him, in the hospital, but he pulled away then, too. But you guys were there, so I figured that's why, but then he kissed me again when you guys went to eat."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Yeah, it does," you said. "I have a kid."

"But it's his kid."

"No, it's not," you said, surprised to finding tears running down your face when you blinked. "That's not what we agreed upon. I can't just...start expecting that of him. It's not fair to him."

You wiped at your eyes, feeling both Nicole and Danielle curve around you. "He said," you said, sniffling just a little and taking a big inhale, "he said he's not ready to have kids. And he said he's not ready to settle down."

"But he told you he wasn't sleeping with anyone else," Danielle said, "he took you on dates, he surprised you and came to see you because he thought sounded lonely."

"He surprised you?" Nicole asked, and you nodded, a smile sneaking across your face. "He took you on a date?"

"Well, he didn't say they were dates," you said, "but yeah."

"When did this even start?" Nicole asked.

"What? When I fell in love with him?" You asked, and she nodded, "I don't know, I don't really remember not loving him. But I realized it in January."

"So you're just never gonna say anything?"

"He knows," you said, "He has to know, and there's got to be a reason for why he isn't saying anything. I need to figure out why, it's not like Bentley's been here for long, I need more information, to be able to read him."

"It's love, it's not a science experiment, Y/N," your sister scoffed. "You don't need to collect data."

"But, I do, Nic," you said, "He's pulling away."

And, even as you said those words you knew, logically that they couldn't be true. You knew he was busy, in the first round of the playoffs, and it wasn't unusual for him to just kind of get super focused, establishing a routine. It was normal. For him.

And then you got him back for the summer.

"What do you mean? You haven't talked to him?"

"I did once," you said, "And he's texted me, but we haven't really talked."

And usually texting each other would be enough, but you were so used to talking on the phone with him this year.

"Call him now," Nicole said, "where's your phone?"

"I can't call him now, he has a game," you said. At least it was easy to remember, because it was every other night. But, sometime, you felt like two days had passed, when there'd only been a game just the night before. "I'm not telling him everything over the phone, either."

You did, however, take your phone from where she had been handing it to you, before she got any ideas, because you sister had no boundaries. She was kind of similar to Tyler in that way, actually. "Why are you being like this?" you asked your sister, "You don't really even like Tyler."

"I never said I didn't like him," she said, and you gave her a doubtful look, "He was fine when we were younger. Except he was kind of geeky. And annoying."

"Well, he's still geeky and annoying," you laughed. "He's still the same guy. You're just the one who seemed to think that he'd changed."

Well, mostly he was. Although, he had really matured a lot, in your opinion. Quieter, and more laid back, and responsible.

"I told you I was wrong, okay?" she said, "It was like you guys were too close, or something, and it was kind of weird. Now it makes sense."

"Men and women can be close friends, Nicole," you said, looking to Danielle.

"Yeah, platonic friendships are important," she said, and then covering her face with her hand, saying offhandedly. "Even though this clearly isn't what this is anymore."

"Yeah, but there was sexual tension," Nicole said, "Clearly. Because all that weirdness between you is gone now. Except it's kind of disgusting how in love you are with each other."

"We're not," you said. But you were. Or maybe you were, but he wasn't. Or maybe you both were. But could you even really call it love, if you really never talked about it, or acted on it without the other person knowing. It felt like only a fragment of love, of what you might have, one day.

"Did you not see how he was, in the delivery room? He was amazing."

"I know," you said, running your hand over your face. You took your phone, in one hand, scrolling down to Tyler's name, typing the words 'I miss you.', and hitting the send button before you could even second guess yourself. Pretty much as soon as you put your phone down, your watch vibrated with a response of two kissy face emojis. And that was it. You left it on read, and sighed.

"What did you just say to him?"

"'I miss you'," you said, "And he sent me back stupid kissy face emojis."

"I swear to god, if he's cheating on you, I will kick his ass," Nicole said.

"He can't cheat on me if we're not together," you said, scowling. And you knew, anyways, that that was not the case. This was why you didn't like texting him as much, anymore, because it didn't really feel like him. You wanted to hear the sound and tone of his voice, listen to his laugh, and see his body language. You wanted to feel him. "He's not with other girls, he hasn't been, he wouldn't lie to me."

You needed to see him.

"So you're just going to keep doing the friends with benefits thing then, or what?"

"No, I don't think so," you said. You didn't really think you could do that anymore, that half-in, half-out thing, anymore. Not to mention, you kind of felt like you would never want to have sex again, because everything felt like a mess down there. You wanted to be a mom.

You wanted to be with him.

"There's a reason he's not talking to me," you repeated, "It's complicated. I have a child. He's in the NHL. "

"Yeah, exactly," Nicole said, "He's loaded."

"Nicole!"

"What?" she asked, "You love him, too. I'm just saying that's an added bonus."

You shook your head, because it only made it more complicated, because it felt like you would be living your life, which was already twisted up and confusing in a wonderful way, under a lens. And obviously, obviously he had no qualms about being seen in public kissing you.

That was only reserved for the people that you knew, really.

But maybe it would be different now that you had a baby.

You really, really needed sleep.

You really, really needed to see him.

"I'm not like the girls he usually dates," you said. But would it even be dating? You had a child now, and dating seemed like something for kids.

"But you're so good for him, and he's so good for you."

Usually you were the one to put him back together, to tell him who was good for him, and he always, always listened to you.

Even when he came to tell you he fucked up, he always told you everything.

He never fucked things up with you.

"I need coffee," you said, suddenly, getting up, and going into the kitchen. You vaguely considered putting Bentley down but didin't want to chance it, instead making your coffee with one hand, inhaling the warm, cozy scent you loved. You glanced briefly at the clock, seeing that it was 6 P.M., which meant that it was game time, so you walked back into the living room, flicking on the T.V., which was somehow already turned to the sports channel. It felt like the only time you got to see Tyler, and you weren't going to miss a second of it.

Although, was it bad that you kind of wanted them to lose?

Maybe. Because you knew it meant a lot to him, and you would be happy for him. Really.

But the sooner they lost, the sooner he got to come home.

"Do you need help with anything?" Danielle asked, and you shook your head, as Bentley started to fuss.

"Oh, did you wake up to watch Daddy's game?" you asked, moving his blanket down a bit so you could see his whole face. And then you froze, looking up at Danielle and Nicole, who had very similar expressions on their face to yours.

"What?" Nicole said loudly, and then Bentley started to really wail, and you glared at your sister, walking as you bounced him. "You want Tyler to be his Daddy."

Of course you did.

"I'm really tired," you said, knowing that you couldn't slip up in front of Tyler like that.

He wasn't ready for it.

You needed to be him, and you, first.

Maybe, maybe he would be ready for that. Someday. Soon.

Please.

It wasn't until hours later, when he texted you again.

I miss you too ❤

**

"Good job, baby," you said, watching as Bentley tried to lift his head up. "You're getting so strong."

Your watch vibrated, and you moved your hand away from where it was supporting your head, to see that Tyler had texted you "U up?"

You rolled your eyes, because it wasn't even noon yet, texting him back that indeed you were, and then you laid back down on the carpet, smiling at your baby. You kept your smile when you got a Facetime call from Tyler, reaching out to grab your phone from where you had it on the coffee table.

And, just like that, there he was, apparently, laying on the grass.

"Are you laying on the floor?" he giggled when he saw you, and you smiled, turning the camera so he could see Bentley laying under his activity gym. "I'm playing with my kids, too," he said, now turning his camera so you could see his backyard, most of the dogs off sniffing along the fence, except for Cash, who was laying near Tyler, chewing on a toy.

"Hi Cash," you said, watching as he lifted his head up, his tail thumping against the floor, "is he okay?"

"Yep, he's good," Tyler said, leaning over and rubbing him behind the ears, and placing a kiss on the top of his head, "He just gets kinda clinging when I get back home. Although I'm sure he still misses you."

You smiled, turning your head as Bentley started making noises to let you know he wasn't happy.

"Is he okay?" Tyler asked, and you nodded, rolling to get a little closer to the baby. "He's getting tired of tummy time."

"What's tummy time?"

"When they try to lift their heads up so their back and neck muscles get strong," you said, flipping the camera back on Bentley again, who was about an inch away from face planting on the pillow.

"Are you doing a baby workout?" Tyler said in his baby voice, "Are you strong because your mama ate so much protein when she was pregnant with you?"

At that, Bentley had decided he'd had enough and started crying, and Tyler made a face like he was mildly disappointed. "Are you done?" You asked the baby, and then told Tyler "one sec," setting the phone down so you could pick Bentley up and settle him on his back, rubbing his tummy as you reached for the pacifier you had next to him, settling it in his mouth, and then laying back down next to him, holding the phone above your face, which was really an unflattering angle, you noticed, but Tyler wasn't doing much better.

"Are you wearing makeup?" he asked, and you mumbled an affirmative, leaning in to wiggle a little owl over Bentley's face. "Why? You got a date?"

"No, I do not have a date," you scoffed. "Bentley and I are getting pictures done."

"Yeah, that's who you have a date with: Bentley," Tyler said, grinning, "who else are you going to date?"

"I don't know," you said dumbly, and Tyler immediately giggled.

"So you're doing a photoshoot?" He asked.

A photoshoot?

"Well, he's having his newborn pictures done," you said, "I'm only gonna be in a few, it's mostly just him."

"Oh, for your Christmas card?" Tyler asked, and you laughed.

"I guess?" You said, "mostly I just want them to frame in the house, and for photo albums and stuff."

"Ah," Tyler said, and you looked over at Bentley who was making little grumpy noises, his fists raised in the air . "Do you need to go?"

"No, he's just tired," you said, "the photographer said to try and keep him awake, and then I can feed him when I'm there so he'll be all sleepy. So we're just trying to play."

"Does he play?"

"Umm.." you said, scooching a little bit closer, extending the camera above your head so he could see the activity mat, which was shaped like a tee pee, with lots of different outdoor creature toys hanging down. "he mostly just looks at the stuff, but he likes it."

"Are you camping?" Tyler asked, "that's such a cool toy, bud."

"He really likes this," you said, reaching up to turn the lights on the hanging firefly toy. "And there's a mirror on the turtle, he likes that too."

"Yeah, well if I looked as cute as he did, I'd be looking at myself in the mirror every chance I'd get, too."

"Yeah," you smiled, looking at him through the phone, "I'm really glad you called."

"Yeah, well, you missed me, so.." Tyler grinned, flipping his hand through his hair.

"Tyler," you pleaded.

"Hey, I said I missed you, too," he said.

"Why didn't you call me?" You asked.

"I called you like three days ago?" Tyler said, even though it had felt longer. "And I text you all the time, I get all the cute baby picture spam."

"I know," you said, "but we used to talk everyday."

"Yeah, but you're a mom now."

"Mom's can still talk on the phone," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"You're supposed to be sleeping when he's sleeping," Tyler said.

"He doesn't sleep all day," you said, "or all night. I'm awake a lot of the time."

"You need to rest, babe."

"I need to talk to you."

"Well, you can call me, too, you know."

"I know," you said, "but I can't keep track of your schedule. And I know you're busy, too."

"Not too busy for you," Tyler said, "I just don't want to wake you up though "

"Well, just text me when you're free," you said, "if I'm awake, I'll call you. But he wants to eat like every two to three hours so I'm awake a lot."

"So if i text you and you don't respond, chances are you'll be around in a couple of hours?"

"Pretty much. And I can't really do anything when I'm feeding him, so I'm just sitting around watching T.V. a lot."

"'K," Tyler said, " How are you doing?"

"Bentley's had a tummy ache for a couple of days so it's been a little rough. But he's happy right now."

"How do you know he has a tummy ache if he can't tell you?"

"Because he just makes noises like he's unhappy and he pulls his knees into his chest. I'm gonna try changing up my diet a bit like my doctor suggested to see if it helps his tummy."

"That's good," Tyler said, "but how are you?"

He was looking at you seriously, even through the two screens, yet his eyes were soft. "Tired," you admitted, "but I'm really good."

"Does your vagina still hurt?"

"Yes," you laughed, "it still hurts. That's why I'm laying down, I can't sit on floor for very long though."

"Well, that sucks," he said easily, sticking his tongue out a little. "Haven't you already been through enough?"

"It's okay," you laughed, turning your head towards Bentley, "I look at him, and I just forget all of that stuff."

"Jesus christ," you heard Tyler groan, and looked up to see a flick of a yellow tail heading out of the screen. "Who's that, Gerry? Is that Mama?"

"Hi Gerry," you said.

"Sorry, he's gone to destroy the rest of my house," Tyler said, and then whistled, and a moment later, you saw Marshall's snout, "Look, bud, there's a new little guy for you to love. Do you like him?"

His tail wagged and Tyler patted him, but then he walked away, and Tyler flopped back down next to Cash, who seemed equally unimpressed with the baby on the screen. "What's up?" Tyler asked, "you guys need to smell him? He smells really good."

"He does," you agreed, turning to take an inhale of Bentley's head.

"Hey," Tyler whined, "Save some for me."

You had to say goodbye, when you heard your mom come in the front door, knowing that you had to finish getting yourself and the baby ready, but not before Tyler asked if you wanted to watch Grey's tonight.

And of course you agreed.

You actually felt like you were glowing, as your Mom drove you to the photographer's, and you watched Bentley get his pictures taken, mostly with him wrapped up in blankets, and close ups of his little feet, and hands, and face. You also had brought Tyler's stuffed puppy dog with you, to get a couple of pictures of the baby all snuggled up with it.

And then took just a few pictures, him and you, with him curled up on your chest, and some with you kissing him.

"That's a beautiful family," the photographer said,because that's what you'd hoped for. You didn't care that it was unconventional, or small. Because people knew you were a family, just you and him.

You finally had a family to call your own.


	51. Chapter 51

As amazing as it was to have your mom living with you, you knew that you were going to have to do this on your own.

After the first week, your mom had gone back to work for just half the day, which meant that you had a home-cooked meal pretty much every night. The third week, she went back to work full-time, and you told her to go home, because she already looked tired. Except she still brought you meals pretty regularly, and you usually hung out all weekend.

It didn't really feel like you were truly without adult company, either, because you were talking to Tyler at least once a day, sometimes a couple times of day. It wasn't always long, sometimes just five minutes before he had to get on the bus, but usually, when he was at home, it was longer.

And Danielle, since she lived so close to you, would frequently stop by after work.

Now, though, now you were trying to get yourself and Bentley out the door on time, which was taking much, much longer than you anticipated. Once you thought he'd been all ready to go, he'd had a blowout, and then you had to change his entire outfit.

Not to mention, you hadn't been out with him for this long before and, even though your diaper bag had everything it was apparently supposed to have, you couldn't help feel like you were missing something.

At least, though, you had diapers and wipes, a food source, and extra pacifiers. So, anything else, you assumed, you'd be able to make do without.

Bentley had started crying as soon as you started buckling him into his carseat and you realized that you hadn't done out with him in the car yourself. You'd never actually driven with him in the backseat because, every time you'd gone out with him, you'd just had him in the stroller to go for a walk, or to walk to her groceries.

This would be a new experience, you thought, as you left your wailing child in his carseat in the doorway to the garage, packing your car before you got him secured in the back. And he was still crying.

"Do you want to go meet your Auntie Candace and your Auntie Cass? And see Grandma Jackie again? " You asked, sitting in the seat next to him for a moment, rubbing his belly. Jackie had invited you over to watch Tyler's game. They had already gotten past the first round which, you had to admit, you'd been worried you'd have a hard time not showing that you were just a wee bit disappointed when Tyler had called you afterwards, but he was so happy, that it was pretty much contagious.

Now, they were in the second round, down 3-2, which meant it was do or die. And you'd had Bentley dresses in one of his Dallas Stars onesies, which he'd been wearing a lot lately, partially because you'd been watching a lot of hockey, and you loved to get him dressed up when it was game day, but also because you loved it so much when Tyler facetimed you and you got to see the look on his face when he saw Bentley in his outfit.

However, all of his Dallas Stars outfits were now in the wash, so you'd gone through his closet and found a grey onesie, which was at least the right colour, that also happened to say 'I love my' on it, and then it had several black ants, so it was pretty much perfect.

Jackie had made it very clear that she didn't expect you to come if you weren't up to it, or that they could come to you. But, really, you wanted to get out of the house, if only to go to another couch.

So you were determined to make this work, even though it meant you were obsessively checking on him in the mirror every few seconds, and you only had to pull over once to put his pacifier back in his mouth, since he wasn't yet able to do that on his own. He cried for about half of the drive, and then started getting quiet, to the point where he'd fallen asleep for the last ten minutes.

After you pulled into the driveway, you shut the car off slowly, as if that would have any effect on him, turning around to see him sleeping peacefully in his car seat.

Great.

You were wondering, if maybe you could just sit in the car until he woke up, and someone could just kind of wave to you out the window if there was a goal. The front door opened though, while you were considering this, Tyler's mom poking her head out and waving at you, and the girls following her out into the driveway. Jackie was there pretty much as soon as you started to open your door, and she gave you a half hug, half looking into the backseat. "Is he sleeping?" she whispered, and you nodded, getting out of the car and so very carefully shutting the door behind you.

"He cried the whole time and then he just knocked out," you said in a soft voice, seeing Cassidy and Candace obviously peering through the window, but not really making a move and you smiled, reaching over to pull open the car door, and you listened to their hushed sounds of excitement as the leaned in to look at the baby. "Sorry we're late."

"That's okay," Jackie said, "it wasn't like there was a time you had to be here, we're just glad to see you."

"They just barely dropped the puck," Candace said, "you didn't miss anything."

"Yeah, we'll just tell Tyler we were watching the whole time," Cassidy added, and you leaned in to pull the blanket down from Bentley just a little so they could see his outfit, to which more hushed awes just came out.

"Do you have a diaper bag, honey?" Jackie asked, and you told her that it was in the backseat on the other side, knowing that she was going to grab it for you, but really you were too focused on watching Cassidy and Candace's reactions to meeting Bentley for the first time, only to be interrupted by the sound of excited panting and nails clicking across the driveway.

"Hi Charley," you said, bending down to pet the yellow lab, "I haven't seen you in so long."

"Go back inside, Charley," Jackie said, as you very carefully pulled Bentley's car seat out of the car, keeping your movements even as you walked towards the house, but he didn't seem to be stirring.

Charley was still watching you from the door, his tail wagging, as you stepped inside, setting the car seat gently onto the ground, and his tail started wagging even faster as he strained to sniff what was inside the car seat, even though Cassidy was holding him back by his collar.

"Charley, calm down."

"You can let him sniff him a little bit," you said, watching as Charley sniffed Bentley's feet a little bit and then backed up, going around to sniff the back of the car seat, and then the diaper bag.

"Good boy."

"Does he have Dallas Stars booties?" Jackie asked.

"Oh yeah," you smiled, "Tyler gave me pretty much every thing they make for babies and toddlers. It's, like, half the clothes he owns."

"Just wait until he starts buying $300 baby jeans."

"Oh god," you said. You'd thought about the big things, which at least you could fend off for awhile, but you didn't think about how anyone could possibly spend that amount of money on clothes for a baby.

But Tyler would.

You'd just have to make sure he avoided anywhere that sold baby clothes.

"Do you want to bring him into the living room with us?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah, sure," you said, bending over to take off your shoes, "I think he's exhausted from crying, I don't think he'll wake up unless he's ready."

"You can leave your shoes on," Jackie said, but you continued taking them off.

"I'm more comfortable like this," you said, honestly, going into the living room and setting the carseat down on the carpet, and taking a quick look at the T.V., which still had over 18 minutes left in the first period. "You guys can hold him when he wakes up."

He was still sleeping soundly, unbothered by the sound of the T.V., and you watched so much hockey since he was born, you could only assume the sound of the announcer's voice and pucks hitting posts was like white noise for him.

Charley came up to where you were sitting on the couch, looking like he was making a b-line right for the baby.

"I can put him in the bedroom for now," Jackie said.

"He's fine," you said, laughing as Charley just sat down, leaning against the couch and looking up at you. You gave in immediately, rubbing him behind the ears, and he promptly flopped down onto his back so you could scratch his belly. "Good boy."

You leaned down to kiss the top of his head when he sat up again, realizing that it seemed like forever since you got to spend time with a dog in person, and thankful that he seemed not at all bothered by the baby. You heard Tyler's name being called out and looked at the T.V., the only thought that had constantly been running through your mind was not to call him Dad yet again, but you were pretty sure you were so focused on that, it felt like you were just going to blurt out 'Dad' for no reason at all. At least, you reassured yourself, if you slipped, you could only just say you were so used to calling him Dad because of the dogs.

You'd only hoped they'd just ignore the fact that that you'd never once referred to Tyler as Dad in all the years since he first got Marshall.

You all decided to eat the tacos that they had made while you watched the first period and while Bentley was still sleeping, knowing that once he woke up, all the attention was going to be on him, and the game would pretty much all but forgotten.

Bentley kind of had that effect on people, sometimes you'd find yourself just taking in all the little faces he made, realizing that a bunch of time had gone by where you'd done nothing but stare at the baby.

The first period was extremely close matched, and it would have been exciting, had you not been emotionally invested in the outcome. Sure enough, pretty much as soon as the horn sounded at the end of the first period and you'd all taken your dishes in the kitchen and you were refilling your drink, you heard the telltale signs of him fussing, and, pretty much immediately, Cassidy and Candace were knelt down, talking to him.

"What's the matter?" Jackie asked, "Did you wake up and you don't know where you are? Or where your mom is."

"You can get him out," you said, smiling as you watched her unbuckle him from his carseat, easily scooping him out and rocking him a little bit, his cries quieting, as she brought him over to look up at you.

"There's mommy."

"Hi baby," you said, tickling his belly, "Did you have a good nap?"

"Okay, Mom, you already got to hold him."

"Well, go wash you hands first and then you can."

"But you..."

"I just watched my hands," she said, walking around the living room with him, leaning in and placing a kiss on his forehead. Then, once Cassidy and Candace were sitting on the couch, she passed Bentley over to them, who was just staring, looking up at them both. Cassidy leaned in over where Candace was holding him, letting Bentley's hand wrap around her finger.

"How's he been sleeping?" Jackie asked.

"Umm..." you said, "not much. His tummy was bothering him for a bit, but I cut back on dairy and that seemed to help. I think he's having a growth spurt right now though because he's just eating a ton."

"He's so sweet," Candace said, and all you could do was smile.

"He's so cute," Cassidy echoed, "Are you gonna have another one?"

You froze a little, looking at her looking at you expecting your answer.

I only

"Cassidy!" Jackie chastised.

"What?"

"You don't ask someone that," she responded. "She only just had him, let her enjoy him for a minute."

"I was just wondering..."

"I'd like for him to have a brother or sister. One day ," you said, a response that seemed to relax everyone.

"So your mom's not staying with you anymore?" Jackie asked, knowing, because she'd invited your mom to come as well, but she'd had her own plans.

"Nope," you said, "but we usually see her on the weekends."

"How's it been going, having him by yourself?"

"Pretty good," you said, leaning back on the couch, "I usually try to take him out for a walk everyday. It'll be better, when he's older and I can take him to storytimes and stuff."

"Yeah, the first few months are hard," she said, "even harder if you're doing it by yourself, I'd imagine."

"Yeah, it's just hard because everyone's working and then in the evenings when someone could come, he's been getting really fussy," you said, still hoping that tonight would be the exception to that fact. "So I've just been napping after in the afternoons."

Really, though, you supposed it wouldn't be any different than having a partner who was working. Other than the fact that sometimes you kind of just wanted someone to hold you for a change, or have someone you didn't feel guilty about calling for help when you were crying along with Bentley.

But, mostly though, it was going well, especially now that Bentley's stomach seemed to be feeling better and you just allowed yourself plenty of baby cuddles while watching as much T.V. as you wanted.

"It'll be easier, once Tyler comes home," Jackie said, "he'll be able to help you."

"Oh, yeah," you said, full well knowing that you couldn't expect him to help you. Really, you'd just imagined him with your kid when he was older, taking him to the movies or giving him underducks on the swings. And you'd seen how nervous he was around the baby.

But he'd also surprised you a lot.

Maybe he'd continue to surprise you.

"Look he's a puppy," Cassidy said, holding up her phone, which showed Bentley with a puppy dog nose and ears on his face from a Snapchat filter.

"You're a cute little puppy, Bentley," you said, watching as his eyes flicked around to try and find you.

"Damnit," Jackie said under her breath, and you looked up to see that the other team had scored, watching the replay as Bentley started crying.

"Oh, is that so sad?" Candace asked, trying to rock him a little, and Bentley cried like he was annoyed he wasn't getting what he wanted, spitting out the pacifier when Cassidy tried to put it back into his mouth, and then both of them looked over at you like they didn't know what to do.

"He's probably getting hungry," you said, standing up and holding out your hands to scoop up the baby, recognizing by the way he was moving his head and his mouth that he was ready to eat. You took him, sitting back down on the couch and trying to feed him realizing, as you did so, that you'd meant to bring your nursing pillow, and that was what you'd forgotten. You also needed to start trying to practice feeding him with a nursing cover on, for when you actually went out with him, and got brave enough to try and feed him in public.

"Do you want a pillow, honey?" Jackie asked, and you nodded, just a bit helplessly, until she came over, wedging a pillow under the baby.

"Thank you," you said, relaxing a bit now that he was calm, and completely preoccupied with eating.

"Do you want some water?" she asked.

"Umm...yeah," you said, adding, "please." And then you laughed as she brought a glass over to you, holding it to your lips so you could drink. "Thank you."

"It takes a village," she said, going back down to sit in her chair, and then the three of you focused you attention back on the game, now, especially as Dallas went on a powerplay. Though you didn't dare say it out loud, you felt a goal coming on, listening to the sounds of crisp passes and, even as the time expired on the penalty, you kept your eyes focused on the screen, and you were pretty sure you were off the couch as soon as the puck came off Tyler's stick, before it was even in the empty corner of the net, screaming a little and then you felt the pillow that had been in your lap as well as the blanket hit your foot, and you remembered the baby, tightening your hold on him, you mouth widening as you watched milk drip onto the hardwood floor.

"Well, that's one way to celebrate."

You were trying desperately not to laugh, looking down at Bentley who was looking up at you in shock for a moment before he started crying.

"I'm sorry," you said, "Mommy didn't mean to scare you, I was just excited. Did you miss the goal because you were too busy having a stack during the game? You gotta wait 'til intermission next time."

And then, because you had to tend to the baby, you had to watch, mildly mortified, as Tyler's mother wiped your breast milk off the floor as well as her very nice pillow, even though she made it seem like it was not a very big deal at all.

You managed to get Bentley quieted down so he could eat a little bit more and then pulled your shirt back down, lifting him upright so you could burp him, and then rubbing his back to try and get him to relax before he started his evening terror.

This time, when the Stars scored again, you remained seated, but turned Bentley in your arms, cradling him so he could see the T.V. "Does that make you happy?" you asked, but he just cried again, and you laughed, grabbing his pacifier, as you all watched the replay.

"Charley, high five," Cassidy said, extending her hand up for his paw, and you took Bentley's arm, crouching down as you moved his hand towards hers. "Oh, fist bump."

You laughed, pulling Bentley even closer to you, rocking him as he continued to cry. "I'm just gonna go change his diaper, we'll be right back."

"I can do it," Jackie said, extending her arms out, towards him.

"That's okay, I want to get him changed into his sleeper anyways, in case he falls asleep."

"So, his sleeper's in his diaper bag?" she asked, giving you a look, that was so very similar to when you told Tyler 'no', but he wasn't taking 'no' for an answer.

Maybe Bentley would give you that look, one day, too.

"It's one less diaper you have to change," she said, and you passed Bentley over her, because you could see that she was wanting to do this for you though.

"He gets really fussy this time of night, so he's probably going to be upset, but it's not anything you're doing," you said, and she mumbled a quick 'mmk', taking him upstairs, and you sat back down on the couch, leaning towards the girls. "So, what's new with you guys? Anything exciting?"

"Cass has a love interest," Candace said, her eyebrows raised, and a grin on her face.

'I do not have a love interest," Cassidy said, and Candace gave her a look. "I have a possible love interest."

"Oh?" You asked.

"His name's Brian," she said, scratching at the seam of her pants and then looking back up at you, "he's from work."

"Yeah?" You asked, "What's he's like?"

"I mean, he's just really cute," she said, "and sweet and funny."

She had a slight pink blush to her cheeks and you couldn't help but recognize just how cute this whole thing was.

"He texts me all the time, like, for no reason," she continued, "And he asks me stuff, at work, that he obviously knows the answer to, but it's like he just wants an excuse to talk to me."

"Awe, Cass," you said, "what types of things does he text you?"

"Ummm..." she said, "Just, like, asking me how I am and stuff. And saying that he hopes we have a shift together soon because he misses me, or he can't wait to see me. Stuff like that."

"Do you ever see him outside work?"

"No," she said.

"Well, why not?"

"Because he hasn't asked me to."

"Yeah, and she won't ask him," Candace said, "Even though, when I went to go visit her at work once, he kept touching her, like putting his hand on her back when he walked by. It's so obvious he's into her."

Cassidy rolled her eyes just slightly towards her sister, looking at you. "What do you think? Do you think I should say something?"

"Yes," you said pretty much immediately, "He's not gonna know unless you say something."

"Yeah, sometimes boys are really, really stupid," Cassidy said.

"Yes, you can ask him out," you said, thinking the entire time that Tyler could not find out that you were suggesting this. It was really annoying, actually, because he seemed to somehow coax his sisters' secrets out from you without even trying. Like the time when you'd let slip that Candace had had her first boyfriend, and then you'd had to talk Tyler out of glaring at the guy every time he saw him. It was even worse with Cassidy, because she was the baby of the family. Really, it was a good think Bentley was a boy, because you weren't quite ready for the conversations you'd have to have with Tyler if you had a daughter quite yet. "Why not? What have you got to lose?"

"Well, he's my friend," she said, adding, "at work. He's my friend at work."

"But he could be more," you said, pulling back slightly, because you realized you couldn't very well suggest for her to do that and then not do it yourself. Maybe you had to take your own advice.

But it seemed different

Your situation seemed way more complicated.

Maybe it was simpler than you though.

It still seemed like you had so much more to lose.

Maybe you should still take your own advice.

He could be more.

"You're so young, Cass," you said. "When you get to be my age, you'll wish you would have said something. You're just supposed to have fun right now."

"Oh you're young, too, Y/N, stop it," Candace said.

You felt though, you thought, like you aged a lot recently. Not in a bad way but you felt, kind of for the first time in your adult life like you were a grown-up, because they'd let you take a baby home from the hospital. And that Mom wasn't Liz, like it had been all those years, but it was you.

Your priorities had shifted and, really, so many things that used to seem important just weren't anymore.

And, really, as long as a few people in your life were happy, nothing else mattered.

"Mom?" Cassidy called, "You guys have to come back."

You looked up to see, unfortunately, that the game was now tied again. With 3 minutes left in the second period. You sighed, running your hand over your face, hearing Bentley's cries growing louder and louder as they came closer.

"Oh no," she said, when she saw the score, rocking back and forth with Bentley now in his cozy sleeper, his head resting against her chest, continuing to cry, her hand effortlessly coming around his head to hold his pacifier in his mouth.

"Baby," you said gently, "you're okay."

You wanted his face as she continue to rock him back and forth, his eyes kind of blinking and looking heavy, even though he was continuing to cry. And even though, he was still clearly upset, they looked cozy, and you loved how much she loved him.

You loved that you kind of got to make her a grandmother.

"Do you want him back?" she asked, clearly watching you staring at her.

"No," you said, smiling, "Unless you want me to take him. All he wants is just to be held this time of night."

"Well, I don't think he'll have any trouble with that here," she said, lowering her head to look at him.

"Is Grandma Jackie good at rocking you, Bentley?" You asked. "You're so lucky, you've got so many people who love you."

She smiled, placing a kiss on the top of Bentley's head, and you watched as she continued to rock him, as the second period ended. "He looks tired," she said, watching as they interviewed Tyler during the intermission.

"He's not tired," you said, "he's just tired of reporters asking him stupid questions."

"Yeah," she conceded, bending her knees to bounce the baby now. "I guess I just worry about him, you know. I haven't talked to him in awhile, you know how he gets around the playoffs..." she lifted one hand to eyes, signaling tunnel vision.

You kind of did, yeah, but you also kind of didn't. Because you'd always kind of heard from him regularly during the playoffs, and especially this year, except for that little blip right after you'd had the baby. You'd talked to him just last night, in fact, Facetiming while you'd given Bentley his first bath, and Tyler was taken aback at the fact that you hadn't bathed the baby for that long, so you had to explain to him that this bath was the first time you could actually submerge him after his umbilical cord had fallen off completely.

"Well, if you ask him to call you, he'll call you," you said.

"I know, but he doesn't want his mom checking up on him, you know," she said, "he's a boy, he's not really into talking, you know how boys are."

"Y/N wouldn't because she's the only person he really likes to talk to," Candace chipped in. She would know, too, because he'd been texting you while she'd been cutting your hair before you had the baby, and she'd told you that she'd apparently been waiting for him to text her back for three days.

"He's not tired," you clarified though, "he's fine. But I'll tell him to call you."

"Oh, no, that's fine," Jackie smiled at you. "As long as you're talking to him. I'll probably go down to see him, anyways, if they keep moving on, so I'll see him soon."

That was something you hadn't even considered, honestly, with it only being the second round but, you supposed you probably should go, though, if they made it to the finals or at least the conference finals.

You'd have to get a passport for the baby.

You weren't entirely sure if you were stress eating the guacamole and chips or if you were just extra hungry from nursing, but that's what you found yourself doing after the third period ended, after Bentley had fallen asleep and Jackie had settled him in Cassidy's arms, joking with you that you might have a hard time getting him back, and Cassidy had just smiled and said, "if you ever need a babysitter...", snuggling him even closer.

One day you'd have to take her up on that.

For now, though, you were glued to the television, and you could feel Tyler's mother tensing beside you every time you did.

The hope you felt was short-lived though, starting with a turn-over than ended up in the back of the net too quickly, the other team piling onto the ice in excitement whereas the Dallas players looked to be an equal mix of disappointment and annoyed, mirroring in the faces in the living room.

Except for you, who was feeling all at once less tense, even as you listened to his sisters' outrage that there should have been a penalty, and you felt his mom's hand settle on your knee. "Ready for him to come home?" She asked in a soft voice, and you just nodded in response.

"Yeah," she said, nodding as well, "yeah, me too."

**

As enjoyable as your evening out was, you now tired, struggling to keep your eyes open as you fed the baby, all ready for bed yourself, taking refuge in the fact that it was 12:30, and typically after this late night feeding was when he slept for the longest.

You startled awake when your phone rang with a facetime call, and you squinted, fumbling for your phone. You were a little surprised that Tyler hadn't texted you first, but you answered it regardless, hearing noise coming through your phone's speaker way, way too loudly, struggling to turn down the volume as quickly as possible.

"Woah, boobies!" Tyler said, and you could tell a) that he was in public, and b) that he had at least a few drinks, judging by the look in his eyes and the dumb grin on his face.

"I'm just feeding the baby," you said, even though, he couldn't even see anything, other than the bit of cleavage that'd be sticking out over your tank top.

Tyler gasped, and then then you saw nothing but blackness as his entire hand covered up his phone, including the camera, and then he yelled out, "Nobody look!"

"Tyler," you said in a harsh whisper, and then you tried not to laugh as he whispered back 'yes.' "What are you doing?"

"Just at dinner," he said, and then he flipped the camera so you could see the table of his teammates, and then it was back on him.

"Are you eating, or are you just drinking?"

"Both," he said, and you think he tried to wink at you, grinning, "can I see the baby?"

You opened your mouth and then shut it again once you realized what he was saying. "No, you can't."

"Why not, I just want to see him," Tyler pouted.

"Not right now."

"'K," Tyler said, followed by, "I actually didn't want to see him, I just wanted to see your boobs."

"I know."

"I already saw the baby, my sisters sent me, like, 50 snapchats of him with those stupid filters."

"Yeah," you said, "they really liked meeting him."

"Yeah, good," Tyler said, "I'm sorry we lost."

"What?" You said, "I'm sorry you lost."

"S'okay," Tyler said, taking a sip of his drink. "Just relaxing."

"Okay," you said curiously. "Why did you call me then?"

"I'm bored," he said, and you frowned because you could here the chatter around him. It was much more exciting than what you were doing, really. "And horny."

"Tyler!"

"I just want to cuddle with you. And the dogs. And the baby," he said, and you were touched, for a moment, until he started singing, "it's a cuddle party."

You shook your head, laughing at how he seemed to be dancing to his own song in his head. "Well, if you're tired, maybe you should get an uber home."

"I'm not tired."

"Okay," you said, "can I talk to Jamie? Or Rads?"

"No, you cannot."

"Anyone responsible?"

"I'm responsible," he said, sitting up a little straighter.

"You're drunk, Tyler."

"You're pretty."

"Tyler!"

"Hey, I haven't done anything irresponsible yet," he said, and then he grabbed his shirt, stretching it down so his chest was exposed for a moment, letting out a 'woo!'

"Okay," you said, "you know you have to go home tonight, right? Because of the dogs."

"Yeah, I know, I never forget them."

"Okay," you said, "go have fun with your friends, then. And maybe drink some water?"

"'K," Tyler said, "be home soon, love you, bye.

You couldn't even respond before he had hung up, shaking your head as you focused on getting the baby down, and then crawled into your warm, cozy, bed, letting your eyes fall shut, sinking into sleep.

Only to be woken up a couple hours later by your again rather than your baby.

This time, Tyler was at home, clearly laying down in bed, his shoulders bare, but the blankets pulled up around his stomach.

"What's up, Tyler?" You said drowsily, setting your head up on your hand, frowning as he just started at you. "Tyler?"

"I really want to fuck you right now."

"Wow," you said, shaking your head slowly and rubbing your hand over your face, kind of annoyed at the fact that you still felt tingles running through your body at his words. "Umm...did you have some water?"

"Yep," he said, holding up an empty plastic bottle. "Like you said, so you can come over if you want to do stuff, y'know."

"I'm in Toronto, Tyler."

"I can fly you out here," he said, "you don't want to sex me again? It's awesome, remember?"

"I just had a baby, like three weeks ago," you said.

"Oh, yeah, okay," he said, "that's fine. You can still come, I'll make a spot for you in bed, I'll sit on my hands so i don't touch you. Also, I'm naked under the blankets, but I'll put on clothes if you want. Or I can stay like this if you wanna look. Or touch. Whatever you want, baby."

"Not tonight, Tyler."

"Okay," he said, stifling a yawn.

"Did you let the dogs out?"

"Mhmm."

"Did you let them back in?"

"Yeah," he said, flipping the camera so you could see the dogs surrounding him. "The boys."

"Cash?" You asked, and he lifted his head up, "did he actually let you guys out and feed you? If he didn't, you bark at him, okay?"

"Don't tell him that," Tyler said, as Cash licked his lips. "He'll be barking the whole time."

Judging, though, by the fact that Marshall looked completely asleep and Gerry was close, you assumed he'd done what he said he did, even turning the lights off, the T.V. on in the background. "Are you watching 8 Mile?"

"Yeah, I like to when I can't sleep. It reminds me of home."

"It reminds you of home?" You asked, "you know Eminem is from Detroit, right?"

"Of course I know, he's my favourite. You know that, right?"

"I never really thought about it, to be honest."

"Well, I like Eminem."

"Okay, lay down, Tyler."

"I'm not tired."

"Gerry...."

"Okay, okay," he said, sinking back down into bed. "Do you know what my favourite Eminem song is?"

"I don't know?"

"Me, neither, there's too many. But there's one that really reminds me of you, I always think about you when I hear it."

"What? There's an Eminem song that reminds you of me."

"Yeah," he smiled, and then he attempted, so loudly that you jumped, "Looking for a couple bitches with some double d's!"

You raised your eyebrows in disbelief and then you jumped, again, when Tyler suddenly the sound of the movie up, swearing under your breath as you heard Bentley start to cry, immediately burying your phone under your blankets to quiet the noise, even though it reduced immediately, leaning over to rock his basinet, hoping you could get him back to sleep before he fully woke up.

"I'm sorry I woke up your baby," Tyler said, quietly, after a moment.

"That's okay, he fell back asleep," you said, rolling over in bed, your eyes heavy.

"I can see your boob a bit, you might want to pull up your shirt a bit."

"Thanks," you smiled drowsily, pulling the blanket up.

"I'm sorry I tried to get you to show me your boobs, that wasn't very nice of me, but I really wanted to see them."

"It's okay, Tyler, don't worry about it."

"'K," he said, "can you please not hang up on me?"

"I need to go to sleep," you said, "and you do, too."

"But talk to be until you fall asleep. "

"About what, Tyler?'" You asked, blinking longer than necessary. "Tyler?"

"Yeah, baby, say my name," he mumbled sleepily, his eyes fluttering shut, and he appeared to be asleep already, his breathing even and deep. You shook your head, pushing your phone away from you, and snuggling into your pillow

Even when he was being an idiot, you couldn't wait for him to come home.


	52. Chapter 52

Even though it was only 9:30 and your morning had been hectic up until now, it was really, really peaceful now. Bentley was sleeping soundly in his swing, and you were cooking in the kitchen, the sun streaming through the windows, and you were humming along with the music the swing was playing. Maybe, once you'd finished this and put this in the fridge for later, you'd just make yourself and cup and coffee and curl up on the couch with a book. 

It sounded like the ideal morning, you thought, humming to yourself as your phone chimed and you licked a bit of avocado off your finger, checking it.

Tyler: Can I come in?

You: ???

Tyler: I brought you coffee

You were still just trying to wrap your head around this, haphazardly fixing the bun atop your head your head as you hurried towards the front door, unlocking it and pulling it open. Sure enough, Tyler was standing there, looking frustratingly effortlessly put together, two Starbucks cups in his hands.

"You're home," you said dumbly, and he smiled, stepping inside, and setting the cups down on the table you had in your entryway.

"Well, I'm at your house, actually."

"I didn't know you were coming home," you said, and Tyler laughed as he pulled you into a hug, placing a kiss on your cheek, while you just kind of stood there limply, still not quite believing that it was his arms your felt around yours, or his beard brushing against your cheek.

"I told you I was packing, I told you when my flight was," he said.

"Yeah, but I thought you were going on a trip," you said.

"Yeah, I took a trip from Dallas to Toronto."

That wasn't what you meant, though. You meant a vacation, like he usually went on after the season ended, before he came home for the summer. "Are the dogs here?" you asked, and Tyler laughed again.

"They're at my house."

"In Toronto or Dallas?"

"Toronto," Tyler said, "I guess I should have just dropped them off here, then, if you'd rather just see them and not me."

"That's not what I meant," you laughed, and Tyler smiled, turning to shut the door behind him, and then looking back at you, smiling again. "What?" you asked.

"You look beautiful," he said simply, and you laughed.

"Come on, I've probably got huge bags under my eyes, and spit-up on my shirt."

"Yeah, but you look really happy," Tyler said, moving his hands into his pockets.

You smiled back at him. "Yeah. I am really happy."

"Good," he said, just looking back at you, and then he took a deep breath, "whatcha doing?"

"Making guacamole."

"In the morning?" Tyler asked, kicking his shoes off, following you into the house.

"Yeah, it's for tonight."

"What's tonight? Are you having a Mexican fiesta?"

"No," you laughed, rolling your eyes, because you hadn't even thought about dinner at all. Only your snacks. "It's just a healthy fat, so it's really good for me to eat when I'm nursing."

"Is it actually, or are you just using that as an excuse to just eat as much guacamole as you want?"

"Both," you said, shrugging, "I'm really hungry all the time, and I've just been craving it."

"I thought we were done with cravings," Tyler said, "Are you pregnant again, already? I thought you'd maybe wait a bit, but whatever."

"No, I'm not pregnant," you said, shaking your head when he laughed at his own joke. "It's worse than when I was pregnant, actually."

"It's worse?!" Tyler asked, looking rather alarmed by this fact. "Am I going to have to make you grilled cheeses again?"

You swallowed hard, shaking your head. "I don't think I can ever eat grilled cheese again."

"What? Really?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think Bentley will like it?" Tyler asked, "Or do you think he's sick of it, too?"

"He'll probably like it," you said, even though it seemed like a long time before he'd be able to eat a sandwich. "Most kids do."

"'K, well him and I will eat it and you're not gonna be invited."

"Yeah, well, like I said, kids like grilled cheese," you quipped, and Tyler shook his head, pushing you playfully, even though you'd only made that comment mostly because the thought of them eating grilled cheeses together made you feel instantly emotional, and you weren't in the mood for that right now.

"So, do you still start crying for stupid reasons when you actually just need to eat still?" Tyler said, "Because if I'm home for the summer, I really need to be prepared with snacks and stuff if you're gonna be like that."

"No," you said, "But I still do cry."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, my hormones are still a mess, and I'm sleep deprived."

You didn't realize that Tyler had moved closer to you, until his arms were ghosting around you. "But you're still happy though, right?"

You eased into his open arms, your head resting against his chest as he pulled you close. "The happiest ever," you said, letting him cradle your head and you felt him smile as he pressed his lips to the top of your head. "It's just postpartum stuff, it's a big adjustment, and its tiring. But it's still the best thing ever."

"Yeah," Tyler said softly, "Yeah, I get that. I did bring you coffee though."

He pulled back, eyebrows raised and smiling as he handed you one of the paper cups he'd brought up to your kitchen table without you noticing, pressing it into your open hands. "I got you a caramel macchiato," he said, "I figured you want caffeine and sugar."

"Oh..." you said hesitantly, looking at him, who was expecting you to be grateful. And you were, because it was so nice of him to think of you and bring you coffee, but feeling bad because, if it was just you, you'd just drink it, but you looked hesitantly downstairs, not wanting to put your baby through that discomfort.

"It's with almond milk," he added.

"What? Really?"

"Yeah, I listen to what you say," he grinned.

"I know you do," you smiled back. But you weren't expecting him to remember, not when you had enough trouble remembering yourself.

Of course he would remember.

"Yeah, your friend Brooke was working today so I just told her I needed something without dairy for you, and she said you'd like this, she says hi, by the way."

"Aw, really? Bentley's wearing the onesie she got for him," You said, "It says 'Mama Needs Coffee'."

"Does Mama need coffee?"

"Yeah, Mama always needs coffee," you nodded, taking a grateful sip of your warm drink.

"Good?" Tyler asked.

"Mhmmm," you agreed, leaning back against the counter, looking at him curiously as he flipped his keys around his finger, and then turned behind him, sliding them onto the table to grab his own coffee.

"Did you lose your key to my house again?"

"Nope, it's right there," he said, sipping on his coffee.

"Why didn't you use it?"

"Because I wasn't sure if the baby was going to be waking, and I didn't want to wake him up by accident," Tyler said, "Well, more so I knew you'd get scared and scream and then you'd wake up the baby but blame me."

"Well, he is sleeping, so I guess that's a good thing."

"No, he's not," Tyler said, and you raised your eyebrows in question. "His eyes were open, he was looking at the thingies about his head."

"He is?" you asked, surprised he wasn't crying.

"Yeah, I waved at him when I came in, he didn't wave back though," Tyler said, "Didn't you see that? Or were you just too obsessed with me and you forgot all about your baby?"

"Stop," you laughed, turning away from him, and now trying to finish making your guacamole so you could put it in the fridge before you got distracted, since you weren't sure how long you'd have. Sure enough, you heard him start to do his whiny little cries, a warning sign that he was going to be very unhappy in a moment.

"I can grab him," Tyler said, when you turned to walk towards the living room.

"Yeah, okay," you smiled, "I'll finish what I'm doing here."

Yet, you really couldn't resist peeking through the doorway as you watched Tyler ever so gently undo the straps holding Bentley in his swing, as if the straps just touching his body would hurt him. When Bentley quietened, you went back to finish mixing your guacamole and stuck it in the fridge, but then you caught sight of Tyler who was just leaned over the swing and then he would stand up, and sort of move his arms, and lean back over again, and Bentley was just staring at him, and you bit back a laugh.

"Are you guys okay?" you asked.

"Mmmyeah," Tyler replied quickly, and then looked over his shoulder at you, looking rather sheepish, "I've just never picked a baby up before."

"What do you mean you've never picked a baby up before? You've held him lots."

"Yeah, but someone always handed him to me, I've never actually picked him up off something before."

"Do you want to?"

"Yes," he said, "it's just taking me a minute."

"Yeah, well he's fine, he's not crying."

"Yeah, because he's thinking 'what the hell is this guy doing?'"

"He's fine," you laughed, "It's just the same as taking him when someone hands him to you, just slide your hand under his head and then under his bum, and pick him up."

"I'm trying to, but it's hard when he's in this thing," Tyler said, leaning forward and wiggling Bentley's toe, "Mama will be so mad at me if I drop you or let your head fall off."

"His head's not going to fall off, Tyler," you laughed.

"I meant hurt his neck, or whatever."

"He's stronger now, he doesn't need as much support, just a little bit, you'll be fine," you said, walking back into the kitchen because you didn't want to hover over him and make him even more nervous, even though you did peak again, watching him lovingly pick the baby up, holding him out in from of him a only a little awkwardly, Bentley's legs resting up against Tyler's body, and he bounced him a little. You went to start tidying up the kitchen, hearing Tyler talking to the baby softly, and then saying to you, "He feels even smaller than last time."

"Yeah, well he's bigger," you said.

"I know, he's always on your boob," he said, walking into the kitchen now, "I just meant, I forgot how small he is. Do you need to feed him now?"

You looked at Bentley, who still looked happy, and then at the clock, "Probably not, he just ate like an hour ago. He's just awake."

"Oh, yeah, I'm not used to him being awake and not wanting to eat."

"Yeah, he's awake more often now," you said, cleaning up the kitchen, "Usually I put him under his play gym in the morning."

"Oh, did you wake up so you could show me your toys?" Tyler asked the baby, bending down to kiss his head, and then turning him a little in his arms, "What happened to his hair?"

"Oh, it started falling out," you said.

"What? He's going bald already?"

"It'll grow back."

"I'll buy you hair plugs if you want, don't worry, bud.'"

"You're ridiculous," you laughed.

"You're ridiculous," he responded, sticking out his tongue at you.

You smiled, taking another sip of your coffee now that you had wiped the counter down. "We can go hang out in the living room, if you want."

"'K, can you bring my coffee?"

"Yeah," you said, already grabbing it, and setting both down on the table, and then pulling Bentley's things out into the middle of the living room.

"Do you want him to go down there?"

"If you're done holding him."

"He wants to play," Tyler said, handing him over and you scooped him up, your hands coming under his legs, going to put him on his belly propped up on the pillow.

"Do you want to show Uncle Tyler how strong you are?"

"Umm...that's not my name," Tyler said, scooting behind you to get his coffee again, and you looked at him, recounting, but you were certain you'd said the right words. "Say the right one."

You sighed, pulling your drink closer to the end of the coffee table, kneeling down on the carpet. "I don't really like it, Tyler, " you said, as you stretched out on your side on the floor.

"Well, it doesn't matter whether you like it or not, it's my name."

"Well, he can call you that, but I don't really want to."

"Well, he's not gonna learn unless you call me that."

"Okay," you said offhandedly, because you were certain he was doing this only to annoy you, rubbing Bentley's back and putting some toys in front of him so he had something to look at. And then you looked up at Tyler, who was now groaning as he tried to get down on the floor. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just getting too old to do this."

"You're not old," you quaffed, making faces at Bentley, as he tried to lift his head up.

"Yeah, just wait until you get to be my age."

"You're two months older than me," you said. Which was a little weird, not that you thought about it because, for some reason, you'd somehow forgotten, once you graduated high school, that you were the same age.

You always imagined yourself marrying a guy who was at least a few years older than you.

Then again, you'd always always imagined marriage first, then baby.

"Look at you, dude, you're doing so awesome," Tyler said, and you smiled as he kept just repeating all of Bentley's noises back to him which, you knew would get annoying after a certain point but, for now, it was cute. "Has he been with any other babies his age?" Tyler asked you.

"Has he been with other babies his age?"

"Yeah, like the babies from the moms in your yoga class."

"Oh, no, not yet, but we're gonna do the baby and mama yoga class once I'm allowed to start exercising."

"Oh," Tyler said, "I was just wondering if he can lift his head up higher than other babies his age."

You half-laughed and half-scoffed. "It's not a competition, Tyler," you said, "Babies all progress at different rates."

"Yeah, of course it's not a competition," he said, "I'd just bet that he's in the top three."

"Oh my god."

"What? You know it's true."

"He's getting strong, it doesn't matter what the other babies are doing," you said, Bentley just kind of giving up, his head flopping down over the pillow and he started crying. "Are you done?" you asked, moving him onto his back, and he pretty much immediately quieted. "He doesn't really like doing tummy time on the floor very much, but if I put him on my chest, he'll lift his head up to look at me."

"Well, yeah, of course he'd rather look at you."

You wanted to tell him to stop, because you didn't know quite how much longer you could handle it. But you caught the way he was looking at you, and you just couldn't say anything, not even when his face moved closer, like he was going to kiss you. And you wondered if this could just be your entire life now, lying on the floor with them in the mornings, just drinking your coffee.

And then Bentley's noises broke through, and you both turned back to him.

You were both smiling.

"What's up? Whatcha want to show me?" Tyler asked, sticking his head next to Bentley's and looking up at all the toys. "Oh yeah, this is cool.....oofff," Tyler said, squinting as Bentley's errant fist hit him in the head, "Okay, this is your tent, you don't want me in it, I got it," he said, scooting his head back again. "He actually does look bigger on his back like this, he's got a belly," Tyler said, settling his fingers over it, and Bentley cooed. "Is he smiling at me?" Tyler asked, looking over at you, his eyes looking watery like he was going to cry.

"Kinda, yeah," you said, "He hasn't really smiled yet, he can only see to do it on one side."

"Can he hold stuff?" Tyler asked, not even waiting for your answer before he picked up a toy off the floor, molding Bentley's hand around it. "Oooh, it makes noise, is that cool?"

You laughed though, as the soft toy fell, bouncing off of Bentley's forehead and he just blinked.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Tyler laughed, picking up the toy, which you thought was a raccoon or something, and setting it next to him. "I'll just put it here, so you can look at it if you want."

Tyler got up on his knees, taking about sip of coffee, and then you watched as he crawled towards the little basket you'd filled with some of Bentley's toys, but you hadn't really organized a play area for him quite yet. "What are you doing?" you laughed.

"Just seeing what he's got," he said, pulling a couple of things out of the basket.

"He's probably a bit too little for those yet, Tyler."

"Will they hurt him?" he asked, looking up at you.

"No, they won't hurt him, he just might not be interested in them quite yet."

Tyler mumbled a little affirmative noise, laying back down on his back and holding the soft little book thing above both of their faces. "This doesn't even have words."

"Yeah, there are little things they can open and stuff, and the book crinkles. I think the bear squeaks, too."

"Oooh," Tyler said, squeaking it and then watching Bentley for his reaction. "This bear's gonna eat the fish, 'k, watch?" He said, making little nibbling noises as he mimed like the bear was eating the fish teether. "Do you think he'll be able to play with this stuff this summer?"

"Oh yeah, he'll probably get into it in the next month," you said, looking at the baby, and then at Tyler, "Are you staying?"

"What do you mean, am I staying?" he asked, "I'll have to go home to the dogs to feed them in a bit, they were all sleepy this morning 'cause we got in really late last night."

"No, I mean are you staying here, in Toronto," you said, "Usually you go on a trip after the playoffs, or in the summer."

"Ah...I don't really have anything planned yet," he said, rolling onto his side to look at you. "I kind of feel like more of a quiet summer, honestly. I just want to get settled in. "

And you realized, just in that moment, you weren't just in love with him.

You wanted to raise a family with him.

"Rawr," Tyler said, and you watched him with the bear toy in hand, crawling it up Bentley's arm. But, the next thing you knew you were squealing as Tyler toppled you over.

"Oh no, the bear's getting Mama," he said, shoving the bear all over your face, and then he started making kissing noises, planting the bear on your cheeks and forehead. "Oh, it's a nice bear."

You laughed, partly out of surprise and partly because Bentley was just kind of staring at the direction of the ruckus. But Tyler must have taken it that you were laughing at him, because he kept doing the kissing thing with the bear, and then he kissed you himself, on the forehead, laughing as brushed the scraggly pieces of hair that had fallen out of your bun away from your face. And then, so quickly you couldn't be sure it even really happened, his lips brushed yours.

Except, you were pretty sure it had actually happened, because you could still feel where his lips were chapped on your own lips, and your body was following his as he jumped back away from you. "I should..uh...," he said, flipping his hat forwards and then backwards again, leaning back in quickly, "Watch your head," he mumbled, his hand cupping the back of your head, sitting up with you to avoid hitting your head on the coffee table.

"What were you saying?" You asked dreamily, as if you had actually hit your head.

"Oh, uh, just that I should probably head home to the dogs. Soon."

"Oh, yeah, right, of course," you said, occupying yourself with moving that bear toy back onto the play mat.

But he didn't leave, not when you had to change Bentley's diaper, or when you changed him into something warmer in the hopes he'd take a nap after he nursed, or even when you were feeding the baby, Tyler was just laying on the floor still, absently fiddling with the toys still. It wasn't until you stood up, rocking Bentley to sleep that Tyler stood up as well, grabbing the onesie you'd left abandoned on the floor.

"Can I take this?" Tyler asked, the garment looking extremely small in his hands.

"Can you take it?" you repeated, and he nodded. "There's clean ones in his room, I was going to put it in the wash."

"Yeah, I know, I meant for the dogs."

You frowned, looking down at it and then back up at Tyler's face. "It's not gonna fit any of the dogs, it's too small."

Now, he giggled, "I meant for them to sniff it," he said, and you realized your mommy brain was much worse than you thought. "I read it helps dogs, to get them used to a new baby."

You smiled now. "Yeah, you can take it," you said. "There's some blankets in my room, too, he was wrapped in if you want to take those, too."

"Yeah, okay," he said, looking down the hallway to your room and then back to you again, "I gave them the shirts I was wearing when I was holding him at the hospital and stuff when I got back to Dallas."

"Awe, you did?"

"Yeah, I meant to ask you for some of his blankets or something but I forgot. So I don't really know if they could even smell him, or if they just thought I was giving them my dirty laundry."

"I'm sure they could smell him," you said, smiling down at Bentley. "When do you want them to meet?"

"Doesn't matter, it's up to you."

"Today?" you asked, "If you're not doing anything?"

"You think that's enough time for them to get used to him?"

"Yeah, Charley met Bentley without doing the scent thing, and he was fine."

"Well, Charley's one dog, and he's not Gerry."

"He acts like Gerry."

"Yeah, because Gerry gets him all riled up."

"They'll be fine, Tyler, they're good dogs."

"You having been living with them for a few months, you haven't seen what they've been doing."

"Okay, but they don't attack people, they're not gonna attack him."

"No, not on purpose, but they've never really been around babies, I don't know how they're gonna react."

"They'll be okay, it's not like he has to lay on the floor or anything, we'll just see how they do."

"Yeah, okay," he said, "When do want me to bring them?"

"We can come to your house," you said, "I've been in my house a lot lately, it'd be nice to get out again."

"Will that be okay, for Bentley though?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"I just thought it'd be better if he was in his own house, so he feels secure," Tyler said, and you laughed.

"He's like four weeks old, I don't think he knows where he is, just whether I'm there or not."

"Yeah, okay," he said, "I'll take the dogs out for a walk to get some of their energy out, so just come over whenever you want and if we're not there, we'll be there soon."

"Okay," you said, watching him curiously when he just continued to stand there. "I thought you were going."

"I am," he said, "I'm just a little hesitant to take them for a walk, they're gonna drag me to to your house."

"They'll be fine," you laughed.

"They were looking for you last night, in my house," Tyler said seriously, smiling a little, "I don't think you have any idea how much they missed you."

"Awe, they did?"

"Yeah, of course. They're gonna be so stoked to see you and have our summer crew back together again," Tyler said, and then, "Okay, don't cry, you're gonna see each other soon."

"I know, I'm not crying, that's just sweet. You're sure they were looking for me?"

"Yeah, who else would they be looking for?" he laughed, "I'll see you guys in a bit, 'k?"

"Okay," you said, already thinking about how you were going to take a nice warm shower, now that Bentley was asleep.

So you did just that, even taking the time to blow dry your hair, before you got Bentley's things ready and the stroller all packed up. And then you got Bentley changed again which, was probably a little excessive, but you didn't know he was doing to be meeting the dogs today, and you needed him in one of his many bodysuits that had dogs on them.

You needed plenty of pictures of this.

"You want to go see some puppies, Bentley?" You asked, pressing your lips to the top of his head as you walked into Tyler's driveway, one hand on the stroller. "Mama's excited, are you sleeping now?"

You looked up as Tyler opened the front door. "Hey," he said, leaving it open as he walked over to you. "You could have called me if you wanted someone to drive you."

"I like to get out walking with him," you said, "And he hates his carseat, this is way more pleasant."

"That's silly," Tyler said, coming to your side, "it's supposed to keep you safe."

"Is he sleeping?"

"Uh, I think he just woke up, he looks sleepy," Tyler said, "Why'd you bring the stroller if you've got him all wrapped up in there?" He asked, nodded towards where you had Bentley held against you in the baby wrap.

"Because he was in the stroller, but he wasn't happy. And it's easier, with his diaper bag," you said, "plus, I've got the bassinet attachment on, so if he falls asleep and we want put him down somewhere, he can just go in here."

Tyler held up his hands, grinning, "Okay, I guess you got it all figured out. The dogs are in the back so you guys can come inside," he said, followed by a very apparent bark coming from the backyard. "I think you should probably go say hi to them by yourself first, then come inside by yourself so you're holding Bentley and I'll bring them in."

"Okay," you said, working Bentley out of the baby wrap, and into Tyler's outstretched arms.

"Hey, little man, how was your walk?"

You smiled, taking the carrier off yourself and setting it in the stroller, following Tyler as he walked through the house towards the back door.

"Jesus," Tyler said harshly and in a low voice, and for a moment you thought Bentley had spit up or something, even though it wasn't like he'd just ate or anything. But then you realized that Gerry was jumping up against the glass door, his tongue hanging wildly out of his mouth, while Cash's entire body seemed to be wagging, not just his tail, trying to navigate how he could get past Gerry to the door, while Marshall had his head tilted, his tail wagging, eyes connected with yours, waiting for you to open the door.

"Hi guys," you said, which only made Gerry's paws slam even harder against the glass.

"Gerry!" Tyler whispered harshly, giving him stern eyes through the door, their tails wagging quicker as you walked closer, and you looked back at them and then back at the dogs.

"Sit," you prompted, "Gerry, sit, and then I'll come out."

You opened the door slowly as you told them to stay, but it didn't really matter because they were way more interested in you then what was inside the house.

"Hi, hi," you said excitedly, embracing the happy bundle. "I missed you guys so much, did you miss me?"

You spat, as someone's tongue came to your lips, and then you were squealing once again, as you were pushing onto your back, and then Gerry proceeded to walk up your body.

"Oh my god, you're just like your dad," you said, trying to stop his nails from digging into you, while also giving Marshall attention, and then all of you looked up when you heard a knock on the window.

"Gerry, get off her," Tyler said, and you sat up when he jumped off.

"C'mere, Cash," you said, extending your arms towards the pup, who was just standing there with his tail wagging, watching the whole thing unfold, and you rubbed his ears, placing a kiss atop his forehead. "Oh, you sweet, sweet boy."

Once the dogs had seemed to calm down a little, you slipped back inside, taking Bentley back from Tyler and then going to sit down on the couch in the living room.

"Give them treats, Tyler."

"I'm not giving them treats, then they'll associate the baby with food."

"Yeah, that's a good thing."

"No, it's not, then they might think the baby's food."

"No, they won't," you said, smiling at Bentley, who seemed to be taking in his new environment. "They're being patient, I told them to wait."

You heard Tyler sigh, but you also heard him rummaging in the treat bag, and then you heard him go back outside.

"You wanna meet your big brothers?" You asked Bentley, "you're gonna have so much playing with them someday, and they're going to have so much fun playing with you."

You sat back just a little when you heard the door open and Tyler telling them to wait, but then you started laughing when the dogs came into the room, their leashes extending back to Tyler's hand.

"I don't think you needed to put them on leashes," you said, but Tyler gave you a weary look, so you let it go. All the dogs were panting and pulling at their leashes, probably not entirely sure what was going on.

"Be really gentle," Tyler said, letting them a little closer, and Gerry jumped suddenly, his nails scraping your jeans, and then you think Marshall tried to get in his way, their leashes tangling. Tyler was scolding Gerry and trying to pull him back, so you reached down, unclipping Marshall's leash. "Babe .."

"He'll be fine," you said, petting Marshall's neck, and then you put both your arms back around the baby, turning sideways so they could investigate the little thing in your arms. "This is Baby Bentley."

Marshall looked at him a moment and then immediately laid down, his eyes locked on yours and his tail still wagging, and then Cash sniffed his leg a little bit and then walked away, turning around and sitting down.

"Good boys," you said, and then extending your arm out a bit. "Gerry, you want to see him?"

He came over to you eagerly, searching out your hand, but then Bentley made a noise as he stretched his arms out and Gerry seemed to realize that you weren't just holding an object, and immediately backed up.

"Gerry, what's this?" Tyler said, already having dropped Cash's leash, pointing to Bentley's foot. "Look, he's got puppies on his feet."

Gerry did sniff him a little bit, and then Bentley's foot moved, and he turned, walking around Tyler.

"Well, that was anticlimactic," Tyler said dryly.

"Well, they probably just don't want to hurt him, Tyler," you said, turning Bentley so he was laid out on your legs, and Gerry spun Tyler around, who was now giggling, trying to get as far away as possible with his leash on.

"I think Gerry's scared of him," he snickered, crouching down beside him.

"They'll get used to each other," you said, pulling your legs up as you turned sideways on the couch, and now Cash walked a little closer, only to lay down against the couch. "Good boy," you murmured, one foot dropping off the couch to rub him, resting Bentley on your chest now do you could rub Marshall's ears, who was still laying on the floor by the couch, up by your head now.

You snuggled up, watching the hockey Tyler had on T.V., the evening going by quicker than you'd realized, so now Tyler was in the kitchen, pulling something you'd left frozen in his freezer for dinner, because he hadn't gone shopping yet.

"Babe..." Tyler laughed, "are you serious?"

"Huh?"

"You alphabetized all the spices?"

"Oh, yeah," you said absentmindedly, and Tyler came back into the living room, leaning in.

"Yeah, so we got in last night and all I want to do is get changed and go to bed, and it's like the weirdest robber broke into my house and rearranged all my clothes," he said, "and it's weird, because my mom said she wasn't here, my dad definitely didn't do that, and the only person with a key is you."

"You said I could borrow your clothes while I was pregnant, and then I was just here, and I couldn't sleep so I just did it."

"Yeah, I said you could borrow my clothes or my freezer, not nest my whole house," he laughed, "and when am I getting my clothes back, by the way?"

"When I don't look pregnant anymore," you grinned, and Tyler looked rather defeated, and you laughed shifting a little when Bentley started to cry.

It was like clockwork.

You frowned, however, your head turning to the side, looking at Gerry, who was now howling from where he was sitting across the room, like you'd never heard before.

"Oh dear god," Tyler said, "what the fuck is he doing?"

You shrugged, shifting with Bentley a little.

"Shut up, Ger," Tyler said. And he did, for a moment, until Bentley started fussing a little louder.

"Do you think he's gonna do that every time he cries?"

"I have no idea."

"Because Bentley's cry isn't even annoying, like some baby's are, it's like, little," Tyler said, "but what Gerry's doing is insane."

"Yeah," you said, standing up and walking with the baby. Marshall barked, and for a second you thought all hell was going to break loose, but Gerry laid down.

"Suck up," Tyler mumbled, and then went back into the kitchen. You'd eaten dinner mostly one handed as Bentley still fussed but nobody seemed to mind, and Tyler had moved gerry's pillow so it was halfway closer, although he was still eyeing Bentley wearily.

Marshall just kept looking up at you, and Cash stayed in his spot until you started to feed Bentley, when he'd practically laid on top of Marshall to get to your feet. You'd invited Marshall up on the couch afterwards, when you'd started watching Grey's Anatomy, taking Bentley's hand and watching his expression as you ran it over Marshall's, who laid there just as still as possible as you did so. "That's a good boy," you said, running your knuckles across his snout.

Somehow, it had gotten much later than you'd realized, so you'd had to feed Bentley again, and then you'd changed him and swaddled him up, putting him in his stroller and rocking it back in and forth while Tyler got the dogs ready to go so they could walk you home.

The walk was fairly quiet, a side from Bentley crying and Gerry's fascination with the stroller, but he slept for the last half of the walk and, when you got home, you ever so carefully asked him out of the stroller, walking quickly to the rocker in your bedroom to try and get him back to sleep, while Tyler took care of the stroller, smiling when he came back in the room at Cash laying at your feet again.

"Is he gonna back you less stressed or more stressed if he stays?"

You smiled down at Cash, rubbing him with you foot again. "He can stay."

"'K, I'll see you guys tomorrow, " he said, leaning over to kiss you on the forehead. "C'mon, boys."

Cash didn't even attempt to move.

Not then or when you put Bentley in his bassinet.

It wasn't until you came out of the bathroom after having gotten ready for bed that he was laying at the base of the bassinet. You smiled, stepping over him and into your unmade bed.

"C'mhere, Cash," you said, patting the mattress until he jumped up. "You can keep an eye on him from up here."

You pushed the bassinet just far enough away from your bed that he couldn't climb it, just in case, and then curled your body around the dog, rubbing his side evenly.

It was the best sleep you'd had since Bentley was born.


	53. Chapter 53

Now that Tyler was home, you were incredibly, incredibly spoiled, you thought, looking at your watch to confirm, once again, that you had responded that you did, very much, want him to bring you falafel for lunch..

He'd already brought you coffee pretty much every morning this past week.

Like you said, spoiled.

You were halfheartedly folding laundry, watching T.V. with the volume down low when you saw his car pull up and, a moment later, you heard the key in the lock, and then he came around the corner a moment later, smiling and mouthing the words 'hi' as he looked at Bentley in his swing, checking if he was awake or asleep. "Hi," you said gratefully, looking at the bag in his hands.

"You alright?" Tyler asked, sitting down next to you.

"Yeah, I just have a bit of a headache," you said, running your hand over your face.

Tyler squinted, tilting his head at you, "Yeah, your hair doesn't look right."

"Well, I didn't do anything with it."

"No, I meant your bun is all lopsided, it looks its pulling on your head, maybe that's why you have a headache."

"Oh," you said, reaching up and pulling out the hair tie slowly, because it was all tangled up, and Tyler stiffed a laugh, and you could only imagine it was all over the place. "You're really lucky you brought me food, or I'd be really mad at you right now."

"I didn't say anything," he said, holding up his hands innocently.

"Yeah, but you were thinking it," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"Hey, we all can't have great hair, it's okay."

You smirked, your hand reaching towards his hat, but Tyler grabbed your wrist, grinning at you. "Don't."

"Why not?"

"Because, if you do, I'm not gonna bring you food anymore," he threatened. Although, you knew that he would wouldn't do that.

"'K," you said, dropping your hand, "This is exactly what I needed, we didn't have a good night last night."

"How come?"

"I have no idea," you said. "He just didn't want to sleep."

"Were you trying to party all night?" Tyler asked, looking over at Bentley in his swing. "Is that why Mama has a headache? Were you playing music too loud?"

You smiled at his baby voice, reaching for the bag Tyler had left on the coffee table, pulling out your lunch, and then sliding it over to him so he could get his. "No, he was super restless all night and at 5 or 5:30 I couldn't get him to settle, so I put him in his swing and he liked that,and I thought I wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep, but I fell asleep on the couch, I think I just slept on my neck weird." You were also weren't entirely sure if it was possible, but you were pretty sure you'd slept better on the nights when Cash had slept over, like your body could fully relax or something. But it could also just have to do with how well Bentley seemed to sleep.

"He really likes that thing, huh?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, the nature sounds make me sleepy and want to take a nap, but he just seems to really like them."

"I think he likes being outside."

"Yeah, I think he does too," you smiled. Maybe that was part of it, you thought, that it had been raining the past couple of days so you hadn't gotten out with him. At least today was nice, you thought, as you made a note on your watch to buy a rain cover for the stroller. You'd tried taking him out in his carrier before, but then it had really started raining, and you were worried about him getting cold.

"He's gonna love it when we have bonfires," Tyler said, "Remember how we talked about that? Last year?"

"Yeah, I do," you smiled, looking over at Bentley because sometimes you still couldn't believe that he was actually here. Especially when you remembered just how you felt, before you could feel him, or even picture him as a little boy. You got distracted, not noticing that Tyler had started to unwrap the falafel that you'd left in your lap, having already started eating his own, nodding towards it and you remembered to eat, taking a grateful bite.

"Good?" he asked.

"Mhmm," you said. "Thanks, you're the best."

"Yeah, I know," he grinned. "Did you eat breakfast this morning?"

"Yeah."

"What did you have?"

"Umm...I had, like, some of those lactation cookies. And some dates. And a spoonful of peanut butter," you said, thinking back, "Two, maybe. During the morning time."

"So you didn't eat breakfast."

"I just said I ate!"

"Mhmmm," Tyler said, "You have to eat, babe."

"I am," you said, gesturing at the food you were having right now. I was busy with him, and I was going to make a smoothie, but I didn't want to scare him with the blender."

Tyler gave you a doubtful look, and you pretty much immediately felt defensive, but it was a lot, when you were dealing with the baby. And you'd been working on a project this morning too, which made you feel like you had to get caught up on the laundry now.

"Yeah, but you have to eat because he needs to eat," Tyler said. Which was his thing, really, you realized now, making sure that you were eating. Like he had when you were pregnant.

"I'm doing my best."

"Yeah, you're doing awesome," he said, looking over at Bentley, "Look how happy and chubby he is."

It was at that point that Bentley decided to start fussing, and you laughed.

"I got him, I'm done eating," Tyler said, using the napkin to wipe off his hands, and he picked up Bentley easily this tip, pulling him to his chest. "Okay, maybe he's not happy right now. Does he want food?"

"It hasn't been that long since I fed him," you said, "Does his diaper feel like its wet?"

"I don't know," Tyler said, walking closer to you, so you could check it, and you tried not to laugh at how disturbed Tyler looked at that.

"He might just not want to be in his swing anymore, you can bounce him, he likes that."

"'K," Tyler said, doing so, "Like this?"

"Yeah."

"How come he's still crying?"

"Sometimes he just cries, it's okay."

"But he's sad," Tyler pouted, "What's wrong, little man? You want your pacie?"

"There's one on the kitchen table, I think. You want me to get it?"

"Nah, I got it, I see it," Tyler said, taking the baby into the kitchen, and then you cringed when you heard a very frustrated cry, followed by Tyler shuffling back into the living room towards you. "I think he's pissed off that didn't have milk."

You took Bentley from Tyler, pulling him to your chest. "I don't think he'd be hungry yet, but..." you said and, sure enough, he latched on right away. Maybe it had been longer than you thought.

"He wanted falafal for lunch, too," Tyler said, sitting back down next to you on the couch, tossing the abandoned pacifier onto the coffee table. "He eats so loud."

"Does he?"

"Yeah, he always acts like he hasn't eaten for days, even though its obvious you feed him because he's getting chunky."

You laughed, "You can turn the T.V. up if he's being loud."

Tyler shrugged, leaning back into the couch and putting his feet up on the coffee table. "I don't care, he needs to eat, it's better than crying."

You continued to eat with one hand as you fed him, and then you noticed that Tyler was now looking through the clean clothes you'd had tossed in the laundry basket. "What are you doing?" you laughed.

"Just checking out his clothes," Tyler said, grimacing now as he started tearing through the clothes that you had folded on the couch.

"I just folded those."

"Oh, sorry," he said, trying to refold them, but really doing a terrible job. "What's the point of folding baby clothes anyways?"

"So I can put them away."

"Yeah, but its not like anyone's gonna judge him if his clothes are wrinkled," Tyler said, and you just looked at him, "I just think that maybe there's better things you could be doing with your time."

"Like what?"

"Cuddling with him, playing with him...."

You supposed, really, that you he had a point, and focused just on the weight of the baby against you, the feeling of his legs and arms laid out over your body, holding him close.

"Is this one his favourite?" Tyler asked, holding up one of the Dallas Stars onesies.

"I don't know, he pooped all over it the last time he wore it," you said, "I think I need to get him some Leafs stuff."

"That is not even funny," Tyler deadpanned.

"Have you tried walking around in Toronto wearing anything other than Leafs stuff? He's gonna get picked on."

"No one's gonna pick on a baby."

"When he's older, at school."

"I'll teach him how to punch people in the face," Tyler said.

"Tyler!"

"What? I didn't say he should actually punch them, just that he should know how to," Tyler said, "You know the dogs are gonna fuck up anyone who looks at his sideways, anyways, I'm not even gonna have to do step in."

You smiled, noticing now that Tyler was trying to re-fold all the clothes.

"You can just leave them, it's fine," you said, and he looked at you, and you could see that he was just trying to help. But he was right, really, all that mattered mostly was that the clothes were clean. "You could just go put them in his room, on the dresser."

"'K," Tyler said, even though, you were pretty sure that he was actually putting them inside the dresser with how long he was gone, while you finished feeding the baby, burping him, and then you were sitting on the fitness ball you'd had in the corner of your living room, now, rocking him to sleep.

"He's hanging on to you," Tyler said, pointing to wear Bentley was gripping the top of your shirt in his little hand, and you smiled down at him.

"Yeah, he likes to do that," you said.

"He wants your boobies out at all times," Tyler said, and you just shook your head. "Thanks for putting his clothes away."

"Yeah, no problem," Tyler said, dropping back onto the couch. "You know, if you want to go out somewhere one time, I can watch him. I won't even make you pay me for babysitting, I kind of owe you a lot of babysitting time."

"Oh," you said, a little surprised now, that he was actually volunteering to babysit, without you being around, this soon. "Thanks, but there's not really anywhere I want to go."

"Oh, yeah," Tyler said, running his hand through his hair, "Just, if you need a babysitter one day, I'm available. And he really likes me."

You smiled at his words, but there was tone of disappointment there, and you knew that he wanted this. But you couldn't even imagine going out anywhere without Bentley Or, really, even going out that much at all, because you were just in this little newborn cocoon still. "You know what you could do, though," you said, and Tyler looked at you with question, "You could take him out for a walk, in his stroller, so I could have a nap."

"Yeah, I could do that," Tyler said, "When?"

You looked down at Bentley and then outside, "I mean, you could now, if you wanted. I just fed him, so he'll probably just sleep."

"Yeah, sure," Tyler said, and you stood up, carrying Bentley into the front hall, while Tyler went down the hall to the bathroom, and you very so carefully removed Bentley's grip from your shirt so you could change his diaper, rocking him before you laid him gently down into the stroller, and then crouching and looking through the diaper bag for a hat, pulling it down over his head, and he wiggled a little.

"You need socks, baby boy," you said, going into his bedroom to grab some socks, and a blanket, and a light hooded sweater. "There's pacifiers in his diaper bag, in the side pouch," you said to Tyler as you pulled Bentley's socks on, and then lifted him up, putting dressing him in his sweater. "If he starts crying, give it to him, and he'll probably stop. But call me if you have any problems."

On second thought, you crouched down again, grabbing one of the pacifiers and putting it in the basinette of the stroller, and then tucked the blanket over him. "There's extra blankets on the diaper bag, too, if he gets cold, check his skin, on the back of his neck, or his belly, if he feels cold, " you said, "but he shouldn't be too hot either, so if he feels warm, you can take his sweater off. Or get rid of the blanket. But please leave his hat on though. And his socks."

"Okay," Tyler said. And you noticed, now, that he had his phone in his hand along with his sunglasses, slipping them into the stroller as well, on the other side of the pacifier.

"Can you leave this down, too, so the sun isn't shining on him?" You asked, "Your phone's charged, right?"

Tyler picked it up, flashing it towards you and you saw, in fact, that it was at 95%.

"Oh!" You said suddenly, "he has gloves, too, in that pocket with the pacifier, in case his hands get cold and he's not keeping him under the blanket."

"It's not that cold out," Tyler laughed.

"I know, but it's harder for babies to regulate their temperature, that's why I want his hat on. Or the hood," you said, "but you also want to make sure..."

"He's not too hot," Tyler finished, grinning at you. "I got it."

You must have looked worried, because he continued, "Hat and socks always on, sweater and blankets are optional depending on how warm or cold his skin feels."

"Sorry," you said, when you realized you were being the definition of overbearing. "I've never left him with anyone before."

"Well, other than your mom."

"No, I didn't leave him with my mom. She'd help me, and keep an eye on him if I was in the shower or something, but I was always nearby," you said, "The furthest I've ever been away from him is when you went with him to get his tests done in the hospital."

"Oh," Tyler said, hesitantly now, taking off his hat momentarily to run his hand through his hair. "I thought that was a thing, that you were letting people watch him."

"Well, I'm not not letting people watch him, I just haven't yet."

"Oh," he said again, and you realized that you'd just screwed up, because of course he knew how to rock the stroller back and forth to help calm Bentley down. This was just your thing. "Well, I don't have to take him, if you'd rather someone with more experience watch him first."

"No, I want you to take him," you said, but that wasn't quite the case. You didn't want him to be away from you really, but you wanted them to have time together, just the two of them. "I trust you with him."

You did, really, but what you didn't trust was the fact that Tyler wouldn't call you to ask questions if he needed something and he knew you were sleeping. He'd probably call his mom, first, not wanting to wake you up. Which was fine, really, but nobody really knew Bentley quite like you did.

But you trusted him to figure it out.

"'K, we won't be too long," Tyler said, already pushing the stroller back and forth a bit, "Say 'bye' to Mama."

"Bye, baby," You said, leaning down to kiss his cheek, "Have fun."

You opened the door, yet Tyler was still standing there and then he tapped his cheek and grinned, and you laughed, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek as well. "I'll take good care of him."

"I know you will," you said, watching at they walked down the driveway, and you shut the door gently behind them. And then you crept into the living room, pulling back the curtain to watch them walk down the street. Tyler was leaning over the stroller, walking slowly, like he was checking on the baby, and you smiled, going to crawl into you bed, thinking about them together even when your eyes were shut, until you fell asleep.

You woke up with a bit of a start, your body somehow realizing that it was far too quiet, your heart skipping a beat when you saw Bentley's bassinet empty, and then you remembered that Tyler had him, calming immediately until you looked at your phone, and you realized it had been over three hours since they'd left now.

But Tyler had sent you a Snapchat, just fifteen minutes ago, a picture of Bentley, sleeping in the crook of his arm, his hat and sweater removed now, but he was wrapped in his blanket and, you recognized Tyler's couch underneath them both, the caption reading "He's straight chillin". You took a screenshot of it, because it took your breath away, the contrast of his strong, tattooed armed holding your sweet, little baby.

You scrolled back up, seeing that he'd also sent you a video, of them in the park, Bentley looking wide-eyed up out of the stroller. He had his sweater off then, too, but the blanket was pulled up to his chest, his hands flailing free, and Tyler had put his gloves on, so he didn't scratch his face.

You smiled as you got out of bed, the phone ringing as you held it to your ear.

"Hi," Tyler answered in a whisper, after the first ring.

"Hi," you said back, "How's it going?"

"Good," He whispered again, and you laughed softly.

"Why are you whispering?"

"He's sleeping."

"Still?" you asked.

"Yeah, he was awake for, like, the first 10 minutes, and then he fell asleep."

"He's been sleeping this whole time?" you asked in disbelief.

"Well, he woke up for a bit, but he shit himself and he was really not very happy about that," Tyler said, "But then I changed him, and wrapped him up in his blanket a little, and he fell back asleep."

"Wait, you changed his diaper?" you asked in surprised.

"Yeah," he said easily, "I wasn't gonna let him stay like that."

"Is he fussing or moving around of anything?" you asked, walking through you house, and seeing the project you'd started, earlier this morning.

"Nope, just sleeping. He's being good."

"Do you mind if I take a shower and then come over? Like, 15, 20 minutes?"

"Yeah, whenever you want," Tyler said, and then "I mean, you'll have to come eventually, I don't have any milk for him."

"Well, just call me if he wakes up and he seems hungry," you said, "Can you help me with something else when I come over, too? Please?"

"Mhmm.. sure," Tyler murmured contently.

"Okay, I'll see you guys in a bit," you said then, before hanging up the phone. You took your time showering, too, really shampooing your hair and deep conditioning it. Like what happened pretty much anytime you'd showered over the past month, you heard Bentley's phantom cries, which almost always turned out to be just you hearing things, but you let yourself relax, knowing that Tyler had him.

When you got to Tyler's house, you pulled everything you needed out of the car, Gerry greeting you at the door, his tail wagging. "Hi," you murmured, bending down to pet him, "

How's it going?"

Marshall came around the corner then, his tail wagging and coming to say 'hello', while Gerry was now alternating between jumping on you and investigating everything you'd put in the front hallway.

"That's baby Bentley's stuff," you said, patting Gerry on the side, "Are you checking it out?"

You went deeper into the house, now, laughing a little when you saw Tyler was semi-reclined on the couch, Bentley sleeping against him, and Cash was curled up on Tyler's other side.

"I put his pants on backwards," Tyler whispered to you, a little sheepishly.

"That's okay," you laughed, leaning over to place a kiss atop Bentley's head and then you caught Cash's eyes, flicking up to yours, but his head not raising. "Hi Cash," you said, running your hand over his ears, and his tail thumped a couple of times against the couch.

You realized that Tyler had the T.V. on the sports channel muted, his eyes tracking the closed captioning.

"You can turn the volume up," you said.

"That's okay, he's sleeping. Don't want to wake him up."

"No, it's supposed to be good for them, actually, if there's noise when they're sleeping. So they don't need complete quiet to fall asleep."

"Oh," Tyler said, turning it up now, but it was still just barely audible, "Do you want him back? Do you miss him?"

"You can hold him for a bit, if you want," you said.

"Can you take a picture of us, please?" Tyler said, wrapping his arms around Bentley, moving his leg towards you, "My phone's in my pocket."

"Sure," you said, reaching to grab his phone, and you actually heard Tyler grin.

"I said get my phone, not grope me, I'm holding your baby here, Jesus."

You immediately removed your hand, instinctively, and then re-thought it. "I touched your leg."

"That was not my leg," Tyler grinned wide.

"It was your leg," you said firmly, and he giggled. "Do you want me to take your picture or not?"

Tyler was still laughing as he pulled his phone from his pocket himself and handed it over to you, and you couldn't stop the yourself from noticing the mischievous look on his face, as you unlocked his phone. "Hang on," Tyler said, fumbling with Bentley's hand and you thought he was wanting him to hold his finger, but the next thing you knew, he'd only made sure his middle finger was sticking up and pointing towards the camera, the rest of his fingers folded down.

"Tyler..." you sighed.

"What?" He laughed, smiling towards the camera, "you just push that button, there, at the bottom."

"I don't really think we need a picture of him flipping off the camera."

"No, we don't, I do."

You sighed, taking the picture and handing his phone back towards him,going to sit down on the couch, but Gerry's nose bumped into your thighs, and you sunk down on the floor, crossing your legs and petting him, laughing as he walked right over where your legs were crossed, turning in a circle and then promptly laying down on you. "Aw, you're still my baby, too," you said, bending over to kiss him on the head and Tyler laughed under his breath.

"He couldn't care less about the baby, he's happy you don't have that big belly in the way anymore."

"He likes the baby," you said, petting him once more, and then petting Marshall, who was now giving Gerry a weary look, like he wasn't quite sure how he felt about Gerry laying on you like that. "It's okay, Marshall, he's not hurting me."

"Are you sure? Because he looked really unimpressed when I came in with the baby."

"Well, he's used to being the baby, it's a hard change for him," you said, "We'll just have to give him lots of attention, I don't want him to get jealous."

"Umm...I'm pretty sure he wouldn't let anyone ignore him, so I don't think you need to worry about that," Tyler said, "I'm just happy he's not trying to lie on top of the baby."

"True," you said, continuing to rub Gerry, and looking at your watch. "He's been sleeping for a really long time."

"Well, he's probably tired if he was up all night," Tyler said, "How was your nap?"

"Good," you said, smiling and leaning back against the couch, "I feel way better now."

It seemed almost kind of weird to thank him for watching your Bentley, even though you really appreciated it, because he was just a part of it as you were, really. "I really needed it," you said, "Everything went okay, then?"

"Yeah, it was fine," Tyler said, "Walking with him was kind of hard, though."

"What? Why? Was the handle too short? Because you can adjust it."

"No, girls kept swarming his stroller. I had to keep fending them off."

"Oh my god," you scoffed.

"I'm serious, it was like 'oh my god, he's so cute'," Tyler said, waving his arm in the air, "Sometimes people try to touch him though, I don't really like that."

"Yeah, I know."

"You're still his favourite girl though, don't worry," Tyler said, "He was dreaming about you."

"How do you know he was dreaming about me?"

"He was going like this," Tyler said, making a rather exaggerated fish face, and you laughed.

"Yeah, I love it when he nurses in his sleep."

Bentley stretched in Tyler's arms, making the telltale noises that he was waking up and you smiled, because Cash's eyes flicked over towards the baby. "Hey, I was just telling your mom how well behaved you were," Tyler said, Bentley's arms stretching up towards his head.

"Can I have him, actually? For a bit?" you asked, tapping Gerry to get him to move out of your lap.

"Yes," Tyler laughed, "You miss him too much?"

"No," you said, reaching for him, "I mean, yeah, I missed him, but I'm fine with you holding him, I just need him to eat, my boobs are really full."

Tyler was then giggling as he handed him over to you, and then all of the dogs were just straight up staring at you.

"C'mon, you guys want to eat, too?" Tyler said, standing up, Gerry's tail wagging erratically, as he ran ahead into the kitchen, "Cash, c'mon, are you hungry? His mom's here now, we're off the clock."

Tyler snorted though, and left the room with the other two dogs, and you went to go feed the baby, moving a hand to pet Cash once you were organized. "Good boy," you said, " Do you love him?"

"Why is there paint and stuff on my kitchen table?" Tyler called from the other room.

"I needed your help with something," you said. "You said you would help."

Tyler came back in the room, with dog food spread out in a bowl, sitting it down on the couch next to Cash and petting his head, "If you're gonna be taking care of the baby, you gotta make sure you eat, bud," he said, standing up and sticking his hands in his pockets. "I don't really think I'm the right guy to ask for help with arts and crafts projects."

"I just need you to hold him for me," you laughed.

"Oh okay," Tyler said, "What's the whale looking thing for?"

"It goes in the sink, to give him a bath, I'll have to wash the paint off of him."

"You're gonna paint your baby?" Tyler said in disbelief, and you laughed even more.

"I'm just gonna get his footprints, but he needs a bath anyways," you said, "it's non-toxic paint. Is that okay, if I wash him in your sink?"

"Yeah, I don't care," Tyler shrugged.

"I'll show you a picture of what I want to do when I'm done feeding him," you said. And you did, pulling up the picture you'd found on Pinterest of painted flower pots, that had baby's footprints made to look like the wings of a butterfly, with the antennae of the butterfly drawn on. "I want to make them for Mother's Day," you said, showing him the terra cotta pots, which you'd already painted a dusty pink.

"You're making it for yourself for Mother's Day?"

"No," you laughed again, "For his grandmas. My mom and your mom." You looked at Tyler's face, as he looked over the paint you'd laid out. "Do you think it's too much? To give one to your mom?"

"Uh, no," Tyler said, "She's gonna love it. The only problem is that I'm never going to be able to get her anything that she'll even care about. Maybe I'll just buy her a plant to go in it."

"You could," you laughed, working on pulling Bentley's socks off his feet, setting them on the kitchen table.

"What are you doing for Mother's Day?" Tyler asked.

"Umm..I'm not sure, I might just have my mom over for brunch, or maybe dinner," you said, holding Bentley in one arm as you went to get paper towels, and then set the paint out on a paper plate.

"Well, my family is gonna go out to dinner, so you guys could come, if you want," Tyler said, putting his hands on his head. "It'd really make it easier for me, if I could take all my favourite moms out to dinner at once."

"My mom's one of your favourite mom's?"

"Well, yeah, she always made sure she bought extra food when she knew I was coming over."

"You like her because she fed you?" you laughed.

"Yeah, she bought pizza pops on the weekend because I liked them, it was thoughtful," Tyler said, "Also, I know what a menace you were and she had to deal with that, she deserves a nice dinner."

You shook your head at him laughing, until he stopped. "You want to do this in the evening?"

"Yeah," he said slowly, dragging out the word, "That's generally when most people have dinner."

"Well, I don't know, if that's a good idea, with him," you said, nodding towards the baby in your arms, "I haven't taken him to a restaurant before, and if it's the evening...."

"What's wrong with the evening?" Tyler laughed, "You've had him out at that time before, it's not like you put him to bed at 7 o'clock or anything."

"Yeah, but you know how he gets in the evening," you said, and Tyler gave you a clueless look. "He gets fussy, and cries a lot, and just wants to be held."

"Yeah, but it's not annoying or anything," Tyler said, "And you know literally everyone there will be willing to hold him anyways. Plus, you already know what a good babysitter I am."

"I'll maybe ask my sister if she's okay with doing....that.." you trailed off now, because Tyler was now pulling his shirt over his head. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want you to get paint on my shirt."

"I'm not going to paint your shirt," you said, "I'm leaving his clothes on."

"I don't trust you," Tyler said, tossing his shirt aside and then holding his arms out for the baby, and now you were just trying to focus on making sure he was holding the baby, trying very hard not to look at his half-naked body, keeping your gaze focused just on Bentley, and the where Tyler was holding him against his body.

You would not think about the way that his bare skin felt, warm, under your hands.

You would avoid meeting his deep eyes, not knowing how you would respond when you looked at them.

You were not going to let yourself get carried away in fantasies and memories, not when you couldn't do anything to act on them right now.

Nope, you were just going to focus on rolling the cuffs of your month old baby's pants up his legs, and then focus on painting his feet, the purple and green colours you'd picked out, blending the colours to make it ombre.

You heard Tyler laugh under his breath, and checked on Bentley, who had a look of pure confusion on his face.

"Yeah, I don't know what Mama's doing to you," Tyler said to him, and then you heard a flurry of activity behind you. "Gerry! Hey!"

"What is he doing?" you asked, holding Bentley's leg steady as you turned.

"I don't know, he took something off the table."

"Oh, his socks," you said, noticing they were gone as you grabbed one of the pots off the table.

"Gerry, get back here!"

He trotted back into the room, looking at you both, tail wagging, and his tongue hanging out of his mouth, but no socks.

"You better not have eaten the socks," Tyler said firmly.

"He wouldn't eat them," you said, "They're probably on the couch, or in his bed or something."

Tyler sighed.

"It's fine, he's just playing," you said, concentrating on putting the footprints on the pots, laughing. "He's spreading his toes so wide."

It still went a lot better than you thought, and you only had to use one of the extra pots that you'd brought, wiping the paint off of Bentley's feet, looking at the pots which were now drying.

"They look cute, your mom's killing the Pinterest game," Tyler said, bouncing the baby lightly. "I'm gonna tell everyone I helped even though I did nothing but hold him. He's gonna get all the credit, anyways, even though he didn't do anything but just lay there."

You laughed. "Well, you helped make him, so you can take credit for that."

"True," Tyler said, laughing a little, and you went over to the sink, getting everything else cleaned up now. "He has my feet, that's for sure."

The words rang in your head.

"Tyler?" you asked, and you heard him mumble an "mhmm" as you rinsed out the paint brushes, slowly turning around. "Do you feel like you have a special connection with him? Because he's yours? Is it different?"

"Uhh..." Tyler said, looking away as if he was thinking, scratching the back of his neck for a moment before he looked at you again . "I mean, yeah, but I'm not really sure if it's because he's mine, or if it's because he's yours."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean....like, I don't know how to describe it, it's like I have a built-in best bud," he said, and you smiled, at him adjusting his arms so Bentley could see you. "It wasn't like that at first, though."

"No?" you asked, running the water in the kitchen sink now, trying to get it to the right temperature.

"Yeah, like it was cool when he first got here and everything, but it took me awhile to realize that I wasn't going to break him," Tyler said, and you looked for the plug for the sink, not finding it next to the tap, so you bent down, getting it out from under the sink. "Where did you find that?"

"It's right here," you said, laughing as you shook your head, "It's always been kept there."

"I've been looking for it for, like, five years."

"You haven't even been living here for five years," you said, putting it in the sink. "It's always there, right next to the dishwashing liquid. And extra hand soap."

"Huh," Tyler said.

"You really didn't know it was there?"

"Nope," he said, looking at you kind of curiously, and you shook your head, getting Bentley's towel out of his bag, and a long sleeve onesie for after. "Do you want me to do anything?"

"You can get him undressed," you said.

"Do you want to get naked for your bath?" Tyler asked, taking him into the living room, and laying him down on the couch, while you continued getting his bath ready. "He's way more stretchy than I thought he was gonna be."

"He's stretchy?" you laughed.

"Yeah, like bending his arm to get it out of his shirt," Tyler said, "I thought I worried I was gonna hurt him, changing him before, but he's pretty flexible."

"Oh, yeah, he is," you said, turning off the tap now and putting the insert into the sink for the baby.

"Are you ready for him?"

"Yeah," you said, and then you heard Tyler snickering.

"Look at this, babe," He said, and you turned to see that Tyler was walking with the baby in his arms, and you felt relief when you say that he had his shirt back on, because you didn't know if you could handle a naked baby cuddled against his bare chest, and then there was a trail of all three dogs in a line behind him. "They're obsessed with him."

You smiled at the dogs, Tyler extending Bentley out towards you, and you laughed under your breath. "You have to take his diaper off, too."

"Oh, right," he laughed at himself, setting Bentley down on the towel you had laid out on the counter to take his diaper off. "Oh yeah, they wouldn't even leave me alone when I was trying to change him before. He was really pissed off about it, too, so he was crying, and Gerry was barking. And Cash and Marshall were just standing there, judging me, like I was screwing up, when I was just trying to help him. Which is incredibly nerve-wracking, the first time you're trying to change a diaper."

"You've never changed a diaper before?"

"No," he said, "Did I do it wrong?"

"No, I don't think so, his pants weren't wet," you said, "And he looked pretty happy when I got here."

Tyler smiled, picking him up now, "Do I just put him in there?"

"Yeah," you said, standing to the side as Tyler set him in, gently pulling his hands away. Bentley chose that moment to move, his body sliding down a little in the water, and you both reached in to grab him, your hands meeting under the water. Gerry seemed to choose that moment to jump up, his front paws on the counter, looking at the baby, and you both laughed, while Bentley looked rather shocked.

"Did that scare you?" you asked, placing one hand on his belly as you grabbed his washcloth, starting to drip water on his body.

"You want a bath, too, Ger?" Tyler asked, continuing to laugh. Bentley was just staring at Gerry's head until you brushed some water over his head, and then his eyes blinked contently.

"He looks so happy," Tyler said, his chin resting on your shoulder while his hand slid along your waist.

"Yeah, he loves bath night," you smiled, reaching for his soap and squeezing a little onto your hands to later it up.

"Oooh, you smell good," Tyler said, leaning over to place a kiss on Bentley's head and tickling his belly and then, before you could even realize it, he'd scooped up water in his hand, tossing it at you.

"Tyler!" you said, keeping a hand on the baby while you looked down at your fairly wet shirt.

"Too bad you're not wearing white," he laughed, and you groaned, taking your free hand, and dipping it in the the soapy water, flicking your fingers right towards Tyler's face, even as he continued to back up.

"Hey, you're getting my floor all wet."

"I think that was you," you said, and he continued to laugh, especially when Gerry jumped up on him clearly thinking this was a game. "Get him."

"Yeah, show me where you hid his socks," Tyler said, Gerry running after him into the living room, and you laughed, looking down at Cash and Marshall who were at your feet.

You finished bathing Bentley, who started whining the moment you'd pulled him out of the water, wrapping him up in his towel, and going into the living room to rub some lotion on him and get him dressed, where Tyler was now laid out on the floor, looking under the couch, while Gerry was laying by his side.

"He does not like that," Tyler said.

"Yeah, I think he gets cold," you said, "Or he gets really mad that he has to get out of the bath."

"Well, if you stay in there forever, you're gonna get all pruney " Tyler said, kneeling with one sock in his hand. "I don't know where the other one is."

"That's okay, there's more in his bag," you said, and Bentley started really crying now, as you took him out of the towel to put his diaper on as quickly as possible, and then Gerry started barking from the other side of the room. "Yes, I hear him Gerry, thank you."

"You think he thinks we can't hear the baby?" Tyler laughed, and you shrugged.

"I don't really know what he thinks," you said, "I don't think he knows either."

You hurriedly got his arms and legs into his sleeper, buttoning up his onesie, "I'm sorry," you said, grabbing his pacifier and putting it in his mouth, picking him up once your were done, and bouncing him, holding him close to you, "I know, Mommy doesn't like getting out of the bath either."

It didn't really take long for his pissed off cries to calm a little, and you watched as Marshall just walked onto the blanket you'd laid out on the floor, laying down on it. "I don't think she put that there for you, bud," Tyler said, and you smiled, seeing that he had brought the diaper bag in with him. "Where are the socks?"

"On the side, where the gloves were."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhmm.."

"They're not here," Tyler said.

"Oh, maybe I took them out, it's okay. He'll probably be fine, I've got blankets. And there's pyjamas in there with feet I think, I just usually don't because I swaddle him at night."

"Yeah, don't change him, he'll get mad," Tyler said, and you looked up now to see that Tyler was now holding your underwear in the air.

"These look kind of big for him," Tyler said, and you rolled your eyes. "What, did you put these in here in case you peed yourself again?"

"No, I put them in there in case I bled on myself," you said, and Tyler made a disgusted face, dropping them back in the bag, and then standing up.

"Actually, I think I have some slippers for him, I don't know how well they'll fit him thought," Tyler said, leaving for his bedroom, and you didn't even have time to question him, until he came out a moment later with a pair of baby booties in his hand. "Here."

"Whose are those?"

"Mine," he said, and you were still looking at the small booties in his hand, frowning with confusion, because for some reason you'd expected him to bring out adult slippers. "From when I was a baby."

"You have them here?"

"Yeah, my mom gave me some of my old baby stuff to have at my house for when you guys come to visit," he said, "There's toys, too, but it's just all in my closet because I didn't want the dogs to get into it."

"So he can play with your toys?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, and you smiled, Bentley's pacifier coming out of his mouth now, staring up at you as Tyler took one of his feet, putting the bootie on, and then you shifted so he could get the other one and, in the process, Bentley's wubanub pacifier tumbled to the floor, and you could feel Gerry coming over to investigate.

"Leave it, Gerry," you said, and he looked up at you. "Good boy, that's the baby's. Where's your toy?"

He trotted off, presumably, to find his toy, and Tyler finished putting the booties on.

"Is that better?" You asked, moving your hand over his belly, "Are you all warm and cozy in Uncle Ty-Ty's baby booties?"

Bentley gurgled in response, his lips turning up and his mouth opening in a toothless grin, and you felt your heart beat just a little faster, your chest filling with warmth.

"Did you just see that?" You asked, looking back at Tyler and then back to the baby again, and then back to Tyler again, "he smiled."

You were grinning, bigger than the baby was though, your eyes seeming to water from a combination of smiling and keeping your eyes open, not wanting to blink and miss anything. "Are those Uncle Ty-Ty's baby booties?" You tried again, "are they so cozy?"

And, just like the last time, he smiled again, making little noises of contentment as he did so.

"That's a real smile," you said, looking back at Tyler.

"Yeah, look at him looking at you," Tyler said, smiling, his eyes still focused on the baby, and you looked back down, becoming aware of Tyler's hand on your shoulder and you were rewarded with another little baby smile, not quite as big as the others, but it was still the best.

"I'm so happy, I can't believe he's smiling," you said, turning your head to Tyler's behind you, his lips curled up just a little, and you looked into his eyes which felt like....well, they felt like home. And when your lips pressed together, you could feel him smiling against you, and you knew you were smiling against him, because you still were, even as he slowly pulled apart, your faces still way closer than would be comfortable with anyone but him, his eyes softly connected with yours.

He wasn't your friend. He hadn't been, not for a long, long time.

And you could just tell him everything, all of it, right now.

He was right there, too.

"Tyler, I..." you started, taking a deep breath, because how could you even put this into words. It was just there.

"You what?" He said quietly.

"I..." you breathlessly drug out the word, trying to find the words.

And then you were jolted, banging into him, a wet nose lunging into your face, and then you watched as a big tongue just licked right straight over your baby's face.

"Gerry, stop," Tyler laughed, which someone just made Gerry lick more. "Stop," he said firmly, pushing Gerry away now, "Come here, you don't jump on the baby."

You tried not to snicker too much as you listened to Tyler having a talk with Gerry in the kitchen now, relieved that Bentley seemed unperturbed by the whole situation, more bothered by you using the blanket to wipe the dog slobber from his face. You laid him down on blanket on the floor now, Marshall looking at him, and you hovered over him, talking to him and rubbing his belly. "It makes Mommy so happy when you smile."

You barely noticed Gerry stalking back into the room, avoiding looking at you as he laid down on the floor next to Cash, until you saw a phone come in front of you, video capturing Bentley's first smiles. You weren't entirely sure if it was Tyler's phone or yours, but it didn't really matter.

"Thank you," you said, turning to him briefly and he smiled, and you looked at the dogs, surrounding the baby on the blanket, and you picked Bentley up, moving him to lean against Marshall's body, who now looked like he was using ever fibre of his being to stay completely still.

"What are you doing?" Tyler laughed.

"I just think it'd be cute if we got a picture of all of them together, I'm seeing if it'd work."

Tyler looked a little apprehensive, but he was either continuing to film you or take pictures.

"That's a good boy," Tyler said, leaning over to pat him once you'd put Bentley back onto his back on the blanket, noticing his eyes moving up like he was trying to look behind him, so you rolled him onto his tummy, and he squirmed, grunting to lift his head up, Marshall and Cash's both watching him, their heads lifted, and you heard Tyler laugh.

"Whatcha looking at?" Tyler asked, setting his hand on the baby's back and placing a kiss on your temple, "are those your puppies?"

You smiled, laying down on your side, your head resting against Gerry, as you watched them interact. "I know you don't quite know what to do with him yet, but you'll figure it out," you said, rubbing him behind the ears, "He's gonna love playing with you, we just need to wait for him to figure out he's got hands."

Tyler smiled, groaning a little as he got up. "I'm gonna go order us some pizza, and then I'll come back and chill with you guys, 'k?"

"Okay," you smiled, catching him taking another picture of all of you.

And you realized spoiled wasn't quite the right word.

You were incredibly loved.


	54. Chapter 54

There was only one thing you wanted for mother's day.

Well, two things really.

The first thing was all snuggled up in your best friend's arms, his eyes blinking contentedly as he sucked on the pacifier in his mouth.

But, you thought, you really deserved a little something to celebrate, and you'd gotten exactly what you wanted: an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen, which said "Happy Mother's Day" and was covered with icing flowers.

And it was everything.

"His snuggles are the best," Danielle said, hugging him even closer, rocking side to side on the couch.

"I know," you said, just smiling at him. Honestly, sometimes it was hard to do anything other that just lie with him all curled up against you. "He's the best."

"Yeah, he is," she repeated, running her hand over his hair, planting kisses all over his head. "Do you even have any idea how loved you are, little guy?"

You smiled, because you couldn't even put into words just how happy it made you see how loved he was, and how special everyone thought he was. And it was scarier than you'd thought it'd be, going into this on your own. But you really didn't feel like you were alone at all.

Your heart felt full.

"You have no idea, Dani, it's amazing. There's nothing like it, I love him more than anything. Or anyone."

"You love him more than anyone?" she asked, grinning at you as she rested her chin on Bentley's head.

"It's a different kind of love," you clarified, "I just mean I would do anything for him. It's not like I'm going to...bathe Tyler every night."

"Didn't you when he had shoulder surgery?"

"That was different," you said, "He couldn't do it himself, what was he supposed to do? Ask his mother?"

"Umm..I'm pretty sure he could have gotten a nurse. Or I'm pretty sure there'd be a lot of people willing to help him."

"I wasn't going to let some random help him, he'd end up hurting himself," you said, and she gave you a look. "It wasn't like that, okay? Not then, he had shorts on, it wasn't like it was sexual or anything. I just helped him with his good arm, because he couldn't do that with his bad arm."

"I mean, I wouldn't have done it, but I'm also not in love with him, so.." she said, and then you gave her a look. Because it really wasn't like that then. But, obviously, maybe there was something there then already. You didn't even know, it wasn't like there was distinctive line, an end and a start, it was a blurry progression.

But you couldn't imagine not loving him.

You even felt, now, like you loved him then, when you were in high school, when he was making stupid, teenage boy decisions, when you weren't close at all. Not yet.

It was still a part of him.

And you loved every part of him, in a way you hadn't really ever felt for anyone before. Even the parts of him that you didn't like, or that annoyed you, those little things that everyone had.

You loved those, too.

"I'm just saying, I love how you guys take care of each other."

It was really clear to you, just how good he was to you. You couldn't imagine him being better to anyone, you didn't even know it was possible.

And then Bentley came along.

And there was way more there, and it meant more to you than anything he'd done for you. You felt like everything would be okay, just as long as he kept loving your son like that.

"He's so in love with Bentley," you said, looking at the baby, as you scooped the chocolate cookie crunch layer into your mouth.

"Well, of course he is," Danielle said. "Didn't you know he would be?"

"No, no, of course I did," you said, "I just mean...." 'Hands-on didn't really seem like the right thing to say, that seemed like a term reserved to praise fathers for doing exactly what they were meant to be doing.

"I just mean," you continued, "I knew he'd love cuddling him and talking to him, and, like, just loving on him. And I knew he'd love playing with him, and taking him places when he was older, but, if Bentley's crying, he doesn't just hand him back to me, he tries to figure out how to make him feel better. He's just the best with him."

"Awe," she said, "Yeah, he looked just, completely in awe, like really enamored with him when he came out. It was the most precious thing."

"He did?" you asked. You were so, so focused on the baby and everything else going on, and the pure relief that he was here, you felt like you just barely got a chance to look at Tyler.

"Oh yeah," she said, smiling as she continued to rock the baby. "It was amazing."

"He watched him for me, did I tell you? While I napped and showered." you asked, leaning over to smooth your hand over Bentley's head. You couldn't remember anything these days, really, other than making sure you and Bentley were okay.

"Like here?"

You shook your head, "He took him for a walk, and then over to his place, I guess, because I was still sleeping."

"You let him take him?" she asked, and you nodded. "That's a really big step."

You inhaled because, maybe it was, really. It seemed a little bit weird to leave him with anyone, because you were just his person, and he was still so little, yet....

"He was fine with him, he was careful."

"Oh, no, no, that's not what I meant," she smiled at you now, "It's just, it was...significant that he was the first one to watch him."

It was, too, but you wouldn't have it any other way. You wanted Tyler to feel confident that he had Bentley, when you weren't right there. "Yeah, it was kind of hard to let him go," you confessed, "Not because I don't trust Tyler, but just because I just want to be with him, like every second. I don't want to miss anything."

"Yeah, I could understand that," she said.

"It really is a different kind of love, though," you said, "Like, I know he needs to make mistakes so he can learn, but I feel like I'm gonna have the hardest time letting him grow, and learn, and get hurt."

"And with Tyler it's easier to let him fuck up?"

"Something like that," you laughed, leaning back onto the couch and looking out the window, just enjoying the peacefulness of this all, listening to Danielle talk about what was going on with her, until you saw Tyler's car pull up, and then you got up, going into the kitchen to put the dishes in the dishwasher, knowing that you wouldn't get a chance to once Tyler came in, and you heard him come in, talking to Danielle for a moment before he came into the kitchen.

"Hey," you said, smiling over your shoulder at him at him.

"Hey," he responded, "Happy Mother's Day, Mother."

"Thank you," you laughed.

"There was something on your front porch, I brought it in for you."

"Oh?" you said. Because you'd been sitting in the living room, pretty much the whole time, and hadn't noticed anything. "Like a newspaper or something?"

"Not a newspaper," he laughed, "It's on the coffee table."

You still thought nothing of it, until you walked back into the living room, and you were overtaken by the most beautiful, bright bouquet of sunflowers, daisies, and irises sitting in a aqua coloured glass vase, right in the middle of the coffee table like he said.

"Maybe there's a card, you could see who they're from," he said, and you smiled, shaking your head as you reached for the little envelope. Clearly he'd gotten someone else to write it for him, because the "Mama" written on front most definitely wasn't in his handwriting. "What does it say?"

"Dear Mama," you read, "Thank you for being the best mommy ever. Love, Bentley."

Danielle was grinning at you, and you turned to Tyler who was also smiling, going to wrap your arms around him. "They're so beautiful, thank you."

"I'll take the hug, but don't thank me, I told you I just found them out there."

"Okay," you said.

"Why are you acting like you don't believe me?" he laughed.

"Because I don't, I see the look in your eye," you said, and Tyler kept laughing.

"Okay, so Bentley may have asked me to pick something up at the store for him because he's not allowed to drive," Tyler said, "Also I had to help him out a bit, with paying for them, so if you just kind of want to encourage him to get a job when he's old enough so he can pay me back, that'd be great."

"Okay," you laughed, "well, thank you for helping him."

"It was all his idea," Tyler smiled. "I got plants, for our moms, too, to go in the pots."

"Oh, that's perfect."

"So I heard you're a pretty good babysitter," Danielle said, and Tyler smiled before running his hand over his face.

"He was pretty chill, I didn't really have to do much," Tyler said, "I'm not considering a career change or anything quite yet.'"

"And the dogs are good with him?"

"Oh, they're awesome, you'll have to come hang sometime and see, it's adorable," Tyler said, and you noticed that he looked rather proud of this fact, and you realized, just how well Bentley had fit into both of your lives, kind of like he was had always been there, and you couldn't even really remember how your life was without him. "Did you see him smile yet?"

"Yeah, he gave her a big grin while she got here," you said.

"Well, of course he did," Tyler said, leaning over to look at Bentley's face.

"Do you want him?" Danielle asked.

"Nah, I'm just saying hi," Tyler said, his hand running over the blanket that was covering the baby. "Is he naked?"

"Yeah, he spit up on himself, and I didn't want to get him dressed again before we went out."

"Oh," Tyler said, "Is he gonna wear clothes to the restaurant?"

"I was planning on it, yes," you laughed.

"Do you want me to get him an outfit?" Tyler asked.

"Sure," you smiled.

"'K," Tyler said standing up. "What do you want for him?"

"Just a onesie and pants would be good, and some socks." you said, Tyler starting to walk towards the baby's room, before he paused, looking back over his shoulder at you.

"Short sleeves or long sleeves?"

"Umm..." you said, looking outside, "Short sleeves is probably good, that way we can put a sweater or blankets on him if he gets cold."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too," Tyler said, going into Bentley's bedroom, and you swore you could hear him humming to himself as he went through the dresser.

Danielle leaned towards you, whispering, "Why is he, like, the most adorable ever?"

You shrugged, and you were both kind of just watching for Tyler to come back out of the room, a collection of baby clothes in his hands. "He wants to wear this one," Tyler said, holding up the navy blue onesie that said "Mommy's Sunshine", a pair of black and white striped leggings in his other hand, and a fresh diaper.

"Adorable," Danielle repeated to you.

"What did you say about me?" Tyler asked.

"I said you're adorable," she said.

"Awe," Tyler said, tilting his head and grinning, "Thanks."

"I should probably get going to my mom's house," Danielle said, "Before I can't bear to leave this little guy."

You smiled as she kissed his head. "You know, you could have one, too," you said.

"Not yet," she said, "I still like being able to give him back," she said, passing him over into your arms now.

"But they could grow up together, and play together, and it'd be amazing."

"Maybe on the next one," she said.

"Are you still seeing that guy?" Tyler asked, and she nodded, so he asked in a sing-song voice, "How's it going?"

"Good," she said, not even being able to hold back her smile, "Really good."

"Awe, look, you're in love, that's so cute," he said, "You let me know if he messes up and I need to wreck his face."

"Tyler!"

'What, I said "if"," he said to you.

"Well, I appreciate that," Danielle said.

"Say 'hi' to your mom for me," you said, as you walked her to the door.

"Yeah, you too," she said, leaning over to kiss Bentley one last time.

"Say 'bye Auntie Danielle'," Tyler said, reaching over to pick up Bentley's hand and making him wave.

"Bye," she smiled, waving back at his sleepy eyes. "See you guys."

"Yeah, see ya," Tyler said, waiting until she was in her car before he shut the door.

"I just have to change my shirt, and do my hair," you said, "You can get him dressed, if you want."

"'K," he said, making grabby hands towards the baby, and you passed him over. "Oooh, you're all warm and toasty," Tyler said, pulling him to his chest, and you smiled, going into your bedroom to change your clothes, and then you went into the bedroom, brushing your teeth, walking into the baby's room before you forgot, where Tyler had Bentley laid out on the carpet, and you searched through Bentley's top drawer, finding a gray and white bib that went with what he was wearing.

"Can you put that on him too, please?"

"Oh, he has bandannas?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, it's like a bib, he's really drooly today for some reason," you said, looking down as Tyler tried to slip the pants onto Bentley, the bottom of his onesie still undone, laughing a little. "You have to do the snaps up."

"Can you?" he asked, "I can't get it."

You bent down, quickly doing them up.

"Thanks, Mama," Tyler said to Bentley, and you smiled, going back into the bathroom to do your hair and make-up, keeping the door open as you were so used to it, and a moment later Tyler came into your bedroom, sitting down on the bed with Bentley.

"Mama's taking forever," you heard him sigh, "Girls take a really long time to get ready. I know, it doesn't make much sense, you took like 2 minutes, and look how cute you look."

"What are you telling him?" you laughed. He was reclined on the bed with Bentley now, his arm holding him steady, the remote in his other hand, but he turned his head towards you.

"Nothing," he said, his lips looking plump and soft, "Just that some girls are worth waiting for."

You didn't even jump when your mascara rolled off the counter, dropping onto the tile floor. He wasn't even smiling at you, just looking, and you just wondered, briefly, if you could just crawl into bed with the two of him, and just tell him absolutely everything. But your eyes flicked down the the diaper bag at the foot of your bed, and you looked at your watch.

You didn't have enough time.

You'd have to wait, just a little bit longer.

You finished getting ready, the hum of the television in the background, and when you came back out, Bentley had fallen back asleep.

"He got bored of waiting for you," Tyler said, looking down at him and then back at you. "Do you think they have matching bandannas for babies and dogs?"

"I don't know," you said, packing the diaper bag, "Probably. Why?"

"Because you said that wanted to get a picture with him and the dogs, and they could be matching."

"Oh my gosh," you inhaled, "I would die."

"Why would you die?" Tyler laughed, looking at you strangely.

"Because it would be so cute."

"And you're gonna die because it's cute?" he asked, "Maybe we shouldn't do it then."

"No, we have to do it," you said, giddily doubled checking that you had everything in the diaper bag that you needed. "Okay, we can go."

"We don't have to be there for an hour, and it only takes like 20 minutes to get there."

"Half an hour."

"Not if I'm driving," Tyler said,.

"Well, he might want to eat when we get there," you said, "And I don't know how he's gonna be in the car, I don't want to be late."

"Okay," Tyler said lazily, like you were making him get up at six in the morning rather than heading out for dinner, standing up and you tossed the diaper bag over your shoulder, letting him take Bentley. "You want me to drive?"

"If you promised not to drive recklessly with my baby in the back," you said, buckling Bentley into his car seat after Tyler had set him down in it.

"Of course I would not," Tyler said, as you slipped on your shoes, and he grabbed the car seat. "There's no point in driving fast when he's not old enough to enjoy it yet."

You rolled your eyes, tucking the diaper back in the backseat while Tyler got Bentley's car seat clipped in, and you put the flower pots wrapped up in the trunk, while Tyler got the orchids from his car to move them into yours.

"Is he good?" Tyler asked, you hovering over Bentley, making sure he had his pacifier.

"Yeah," you said, noticing that Tyler had put one of his socks on completely sideways and you quickly fixed it, before he could notice, Tyler closing the door gently behind you and then checking to make sure it was shut properly, and you handed him your keys, sliding into the passenger seat.

"Oh, you're gonna sit with me?" Tyler said, starting the car. "You got your seatbelt done up, Bentley?"

"He's good," you laughed, "I might have to move back there, though, I don't know how he's gonna be."

"He likes car rides," Tyler said. But he hadn't actually been in the car with him, not since he had first come home from the hospital and, since then, he'd realized he did not enjoy being strapped into his car seat, unable to move around.

You were actually rather impressed that he was quiet for about 3 minutes, and you actually checked on him to make sure that he was okay, because this wasn't like him at all. And then he started crying.

"See, this is what happens," you said, and Tyler looked in the rear view mirror at him.

"What's wrong, bud?" he asked, his eyes flicking over to you. "Your car's not cool enough, he's embarrassed to be seen in it."

You shook your head, leaning over and stretching into the backseat, wrapping your arm around the carseat to hold his pacifier to his mouth.

"I'm sorry, baby," you said, "I know you don't like it, but it's too far for us to walk. But you're gonna see your grandmas and all your aunties."

"I see what you mean now," Tyler said, to which Bentley continued to cry, "Don't worry, bud, I'm sure we can get the windows tinted so now one sees you."

"Tyler," you said, your voice coming out a little strained and annoyed, "Sorry, it stresses me out when he's crying, and I know what's wrong, but I can't do anything about it," you said. Not to mention, you were kind of nervous about taking him out to eat.

"He's okay, babe," Tyler said, gently now, tapping his hand on your knee. "He's got healthy lungs."

He was so good to you. You gave him an appreciative smile, and then reached for the toy that was hanging from the top of his car seat, and pulling it so the music started to play, "What's this?"

He was paying no attention to that, so you pulled it again, which had the same effect, the musical tones getting quieter as the toy pulled back together.

"Rolling down the street, smokin.....something that isn't drugs...sippin' on...milk and boobs, eh," Tyler sang, waving his arm through the air, "Laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind."

"Are you serious?" you laughed.

"What? I made it appropriate," He said, "Actually, wait. 'Rolling down the street, sucking pacifiers, sipping on milk and boobs.'"

"Oh my god," you laughed.

"I thought it was pretty good, better than that 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' shit you got going," he said, and then started bopping his head again. "He said he hates his carseat, he only loves his crib and his mom, I'm sorry."

At this point, you clamped your hand over your mouth, trying to try it less obvious that you were dissolving into giggles, because then he'd never stop. It didn't seem to be working, though, because you could see Tyler ducking his head to look at you.

"Do you think it's helping?" Tyler asked, "He seems quieter."

"Yeah, I don't really know if its helping him," you confessed. "It's helping me, though."

"Good," Tyler said, and you reached over, turning the radio on low, losing your focus and, in the process, knocking Bentley's pacifier out of your reach.

"Shoot," you mumbled.

"What happened?"

"I lost his pacifier," You said, waiting until you were at a stoplight, before you took your seat belt off, climbing into the backseat. "Don't," you warned, feeling Tyler's hand ghosting over you, tucking your hand to pull out the pacifier from where it was wedged between Bentley's arm and his carseat, pulling your legs under you. And then you felt Tyler's hand, tapping you on the bum.

"Stop," you said, climbing fully into the backseat now, doing up your seatbelt with one hand.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't fall," Tyler said, and you ignored him, focusing on the baby, running your hand over his stomach and holding his pacifier for him, leaning your head against the seat, and looking at him. "Did you just want Mama to come sit back there with you, Bentley?" Tyler asked.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Bentley did eventually tucker himself out and then he seemed to just give into the motion of the car, letting himself fall asleep. The unfortunate thing was that he was still asleep when you pulled into the parking lot, your hand still splayed across his chest.

"Oh, we're getting sushi?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, now turning to look into the back, "You can have sushi now, right? When you're feeding him?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't do the real sushi when I was pregnant," you said, "I'm excited, I haven't had sushi since..."

"Since when we got sushi last year before you got pregnant?"

"Yes," you smiled, feeling Bentley's chest rise and fall under your hand, pouting a little. "He's sleeping."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah, but then he's probably going to want to eat when we're in there."

"So?"

"So, I haven't really fed him in public much, and I don't really want my boobs out at the restaurant."

"But that's the best kind of restaurant."

"Tyler..." you sighed.

"You worry too much," he said, getting out of the car now, and you dug in the diaper bag for the cover, pulling it over his carseat to keep it dark for him, and Tyler opened the backseat, "Oh, good, keep him from the paparazzi."

"Oh my god," you said. Except, now, you were worried about actually paparazzi. Well, not so much paparazzi, but people recognizing Tyler. And you. Out to dinner. With a baby. And both of your families. Like that wouldn't draw any attention at all.

Except, Tyler was looking completely calm, now pulling the diaper bag towards him and shoving the keys and his wallet into the pocket and then pulling it over his shoulder, and then reaching for the handle of the carseat. If he wasn't bothered by it at all, why should you be? "Let me take him, you get the gifts."

"Are you okay with both of those?" you asked, as you got out of the backseat.

"Woah," Tyler said, his arm dropping like the carseat was entirely too heavy, grinning at you.

"Stop," you said, going to the trunk to arrange put the plants into the pots, and then you noticed Tyler out of the corner of your eye, doing curls now with the car seat. When he saw you looking at him, he dropped the strap of the diaper bag into his hand, and started doing curls with that too.

"You better not wake him up."

"Nope," Tyler said, peeking in the top, "He likes it."

By the time you'd gone inside, and gotten yourself seated at a table, and the gifts set up, you'd realized that you still had half an hour you were actually supposed to meet. Which, was why you were now eating edamame and sipping water, Bentley still in his carseat on the booth next to you, and you peeked in after a few moments, checking on him.

"Is he still sleeping?"

"Mhmm..." you smiling, reaching under the loosen the straps around him a little bit, so he wouldn't be completely screaming when he woke up, you hoped, realizing just how much work it was to get him and you, ready to go somewhere at a specific time, especially when things with him were just so unpredictable still. "You know, I have a doctor's appointment on Friday, if you maybe wanted to come with me and help me keep an eye on him, and then we could get lunch afterwards or something?"

"On Friday?" he asked, and you nodded, and then his hand went to the back on his neck, rubbing it, even as he continued to chew on the edamame. "Umm...I would, but I'm not going to be here on Friday. I'm in this charity golf thing, so I leave Thursday, and get back Sunday, I think."

"Oh okay."

"Sorry," Tyler said.

"No, no, it's okay," you said. It wasn't like you could realistically just expect him to just be there, all the time. You were just so used to him telling you what he was doing, because usually you'd have the dogs. But everything was different now. "I just thought you said you weren't going away anywhere." You cringed at your words just then, because you swore you'd heard your mom say those words to your dad a hundred times, even thought your tone didn't sound that way.

This was not that.

You weren't even together.

But you weren't them, either.

"Yeah, I kind of forgot about it," Tyler said, "I'm going to Dallas Father's Day weekend, too, for hockey day. And I'm going bring my Dad with me, take him golfing and stuff. But other than that, I'll be home."

"Oh, he'll love that."

"Yeah," Tyler smiled, "Will you be okay though?"

And you smiled, because it was different. "Yeah, I'll be fine," you said, "I might just drop him off with my mom. Or take him with me, I'll see how he is that day."

"He doesn't have to go with you?"

"No, he doesn't have to go again until he's two months, and he has to get shots. "

"So, I guess I'm coming to that one," Tyler said, and you gave him a sheepish look. "Wait, why do you have to go to the doctor? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," you said quickly, "It's just a regular check-up, after you have a baby."

"Oh, to see if your vagina is still broken."

"My vagina was not broken," you said harshly.

"Injured," he reasoned, shrugging and continuing to eat, like this was just a normal conversation topic.

"It was not..." you said, blinking, and then whispering, "this is really not an appropriate conversation for the dinner table."

Tyler giggled, grinning at you, "Sorry for being concerned about your.." he said, and then looked over to the side. "Oh, hi Candace."

"Hi," she laughed, "Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, your brother's just being an idiot," you said, getting up to hug her.

"You look so good," she said.

"So do you."

"I didn't just have a baby, though," she said.

"Yeah, you're lucky, this is the first time I've seen her wear pants," Tyler said.

"What are you talking about?" you sputtered, "I've been wearing pants the whole time."

"Yeah, like yoga pants. Or my pants. I don't see you wearing pants that are actually yours."

"Because my pants don't fit!" you said, "You said I could borrow your clothes."

"Yeah, I mean it's fine," Tyler said, running his hand across his jaw, "It's just, usually when girls say they want in my pants, that's not what they mean."

"Eww," Candace scowled.

"Gross," you muttered.

"Gross?" Tyler mouthed towards you, his eyebrows raised, and you gave him a look to tell him to shut up, and he laughed a little running his hands over your face.

"Why are you so sassy today?"

"Because I'm surrounded by women and my little dude is sleeping so I have no back-up."

And, just like that, your heart softened, and you weren't even on guard anymore for the next thing he'd throw at you.

"Oh, stop, this was all your idea," Candace said, sitting down now, "You love it."

"I do," he said, wrapping his arms around both of you and pulling you against his shoulders.

"Is he sleeping?" Candace asked, when Tyler had released you both, "Can I peek at him?"

"Yeah, of course you can," you said, loving the look on her face she pulled back the cover, looking in at him.

"Awe, he's so peaceful," she whispered. "And his outfit."

"I picked it out," Tyler said.

"Awe, you did?"

"Mhmm," Tyler nodded. "It's not very hard to make him look cute, though."

You smiled, but it wasn't much longer before you heard Bentley start to cry, pulling the cover off from his carseat. "Shhh..." you said, undoing the straps and pulling him into your arms, "C'mhere, you're okay."

When he didn't seem to be soothed just by being in your arms, you stood up, rocking him back and forth.

"That didn't last very long," Tyler said.

"Yeah, well, he usually doesn't sleep this time of day," you said, slowly feeling like everyone in the restaurant had their eyes on you.

"Yeah, he's been better though, the last couple of nights."

You tried to continue bouncing him while simultaneously carrying on the conversation, glancing over your shoulder towards the door, wondering if you should take him out for a moment, or if that'd only irritate him more.

"Want me to try for a sec?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, sure," you said, gratefully, continuing to bounce the baby while Tyler stood up, transferring him into Tyler's arms, brushing a single tear off Bentley's face.

"Aw, come here, bud," Tyler said, at the exact same moment the words, "Go see Daddy," came out of your mouth, your eyes focused on Bentley still, and everything went quiet, your eyes flicking up to Tyler's face before you could stop yourself, and you watched as he blinked twice, like he was dazed and then he frowned, shaking his head gently. His lips pressed together and he didn't say anything, but he continued taking the baby into his arms, and then he turned, and all you could see was his back as he walked away. Straight out the door.

You looked around now, seeing everyone eating their meals like nothing had happened, and you wondered if maybe you'd only said it in your head, or maybe no one had even heard you. But then you turned, seeing Candace's shocked face, and you remembered the way Tyler had furrowed his brow, and you knew he must have heard you.

You ran your hand, over your cheek, trying to bring yourself back to reality, and then you sat back down at the table, taking the blanket that was in Bentley's carseat and folding it, and then you sighed, resting the blanket against your face, inhaling your baby's scent.

Because, the thing was, when you saw the baby clothes at the store, that said "I love Daddy" or when you the words "you or your partner" in any of your baby books, it was Tyler you thought of.

It was always Tyler.

"He's fallen so in love with you," you heard Candace say, and you looked up, to see her leaning over the table towards you, her face looking hopeful, and bright, and familiar.

"He said that?" you asked.

"Well... no, not exactly," she said, and you felt your heart drop again. "But it's so obvious, you're like...his whole world. I've never seen him like this before. Not even close."

She saw it, too, then. She'd barely even seen him, and she saw it, too. It wasn't just you, swayed by hormones, and your own feelings, hoping.

"You're in love with him, too, right?" She asked, now, and it was all you could do to just nod, silently, and then she squealed. "We're gonna be sisters."

"What?"

"When you guys get married," she said excitedly.

"Okay, woah, woah, slow down," you said. You didn't need even more people depending on this.

"I tried to ask him about it," she said.

"What?" you asked, looking at her, "What did he say?"

"Okay," she said, looking down at her lap, "So, he just tells me to mind my own business. But, obviously, that means its true, otherwise he'd just tell me I'm being crazy or something."

"Are you....?" you asked. You didn't know how much longer you could try to stop your hopes from being raised. You didn't know, anymore, and it felt like you were just standing on the edge, constantly, too scared to jump.

"I'm positive," she said, "I know him. You know him. I don't even know if he knows, really. He's an idiot, sometimes, you know. But his heart's there."

You felt like an idiot too, though, like you couldn't think straight, and you didn't know how long it had been like this, right in front of you the whole time.

You looked out the door, where Tyler had gone momentarily, longingly, your hand absentmindedly playing with the pacifier, which you realized you still had in your hands.

"Go," Candace said, sitting back in the chair, looking at her phone easily, like she was just relaxing. "I'll tell everyone you guys just had to take the baby out for a bit."

"Okay," you said, gathering yourself, "Okay, I'll be back."

You were gripping the stuffed puppy dog on the end of Bentley's pacifier as you went outside, looking one way and then the other, following the light crying noises you heard, until you turned the corner, seeing Tyler walking back and forth along the side of the building, bouncing Bentley as he walked back and forth. He looked up, when he saw you, his expression unreadable, but he moved his arms, letting you press the pacifier into Bentley's mouth, holding it there.

"Tyler..." you started.

"You can't call me that," he said now, his eyes flicking up to yours.

"What?" you asked, feeling yourself flinch, like he was slapping you with his words.

"You can't call me that," he repeated, his tone even harsher this time. And it hurt. It hurt more than you expected. "Look, I love him, and I love you, but I'm just not that. "

"But Jamie called you..and the doctor.." you said, toying with a loose thread on your sleeve. He didn't react like that then, he'd seemed completely unbothered by it.

"Because they're not you," Tyler said, "This is pour thing, and I expect that other people might say that. But I just didn't expect you to."

"Oh," you said quietly, looking off into the evening sky, trying to collect yourself.

"Look," Tyler said, softly now, his arm touching yours. "I'm not mad at you, I get it, if it was an accident, it happens. I just don't want you expecting something I can't give you."

"No, no, I know. You're not his dad," you said, swallowing because it really did hurt, as much as you didn't want to do. You looked down at Bentley in his arms, his eyes wide, looking at you, and you smiled down at him.

"Look at me," Tyler said, evenly, and when you did, his eyes were gentle. "You're my family, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I'm always gonna be there, for you and him, one hundred percent, I love both of you," he said, "I'm not going anywhere."

You stood there, trying to process everything, you didn't quite know what to say. "Yeah, no, I know. You're right," you said, because you couldn't say that it was an accident, or to promise you wouldn't do it again, not when you felt it.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not gonna hurt me," you said. Even though, you were pretty sure that he could, without even trying. You stepped closer, running your hand over Bentley's head, your hand wiping the few tears that were on his face, his expression calm and relaxed now. "He seems happier now."

"Yeah, we just needed a little fresh air," Tyler said, you looked back in the direction you came from, and then back and your baby, and then back at Tyler. "We're okay then, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," you said, "we're okay."

As long as he wasn't going anywhere, you were okay.

"Good," Tyler said, looking at you, looking down at your baby. "He's still the best thing I've ever done, you know."

"I know," you said, because it was obvious, to you, that he felt that way. He didn't need to say it, you saw it, just in the way he looked at him. "Mine too."

Tyler smiled at you, his knuckles brushing yours as you turned to head back inside, and they just kind of stayed there, as you walked, the backs of your hands not quite fitting together, but trying. It wasn't until you neared the parking lot that someone came ahead of you, holding the door open, that he broke away, just a little, and then a little more. Your sister was sitting at the table, now, next to Candace, and Candace looked at you, in question, and Tyler passed Bentley into your sister's arms, and you shook your head, just a little. Her eyes were concerned and questioning, but you just couldn't, instead just watching both of your sisters curve around the baby. You were taking pictures, of them together, and then you felt Tyler's hand move onto your back, and you looked back up at him and smiled, praying this wouldn't make things weird.

"Do you love your aunties?" you asked.

""Of course he does," Tyler said, and you turned, like you sensed your mom behind you, breaking away to give her a hug.

"Hey, Mom," you said, letting your chin rest on her shoulder, "Happy Mother's Day."

"Happy Mother's Day to you," she said, pulling back, her hands on your shoulders, smiling brightly. "How does it feel?"

"Amazing," you said, looking back over at them. "Bentley got you something."

Tyler was hugging her hello as you pulled out the gift from where you'd placed it on the floor, pulling it out and setting it on the table, watching her face light up.

"Awe, that's the best gift I've ever gotten," she said.

"Thanks, Mom, it's not like I ever made you anything," Nicole said sarcastically, and your mom laughed.

"It's better when you're a grandma," she said, still looking at it.

"Tyler helped me with it," you said, and he looked just a little sheepish.

"Well, thank you," she said to him.

"Yeah, no problem."

"And thank you," she said, leaning down to kiss Bentley on his forehead, and then wiggling his toe, "Grandma's gonna keep it forever."

"Do you want him?" Candace asked.

"No, he's happy," she said, and now you noticed the gift bag, in her hand. "Sit down, sweetie, so you can open your gift."

"Okay," you said, checking that Bentley was content one last time before you did so, pulling the card out first, reading the message that said, "She makes her home a lived-in, laughed-in, loved-in kind of place." And then you could barely even read the words inside, through the emotion that came up, about how proud she was of you, and how much she loved you.

'Mom,'you said, a little through tears, she hugged you.

"I'm so proud of you," she said into your ear, "I know it's not easy, to do it by yourself, I couldn't imagine, when they're this young. But you're doing so good, look how loved he is. That's all he really needs. He's the child you were always meant to have."

You let her hug you for a moment longer, and then you pulled away, wiping your eyes, because it meant a lot, just knowing how nervous she was for you, that she was there, and that she saw what you saw now.

"You alright?" Tyler asked, quietly from beside you, and you just smiled and nodded, and he wrapped his arm around you, pulling your to him, and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"Anyways," your mom said, pushing the gift bag closer to you, "Open this, before I start really crying."

You laughed, opening up the gift, which contained a diffuser, and a couple essential oil blends. "Oh, this is so pretty," you said, pulling out the oils now and then smelling them, and then extending them out towards Candace and your sister.

"Let me smell," Tyler said, and you laughed, doing so.

"I thought you might want to put it in your bedroom," you mom said, "It might relax him, too."

"Yeah, he likes his lavender soap," Tyler said. "Don't you, bud?"

You tried not to laugh then, as Tyler's mom and sister walked through the door, and Tyler started waving his arms in the air like they couldn't see you.

"Stop," Cassidy said, to which Tyler only laughed, and you got up to say hello.

"Oh, look, you guys have matching mom jeans," he said. "That'd be a good picture."

"These are not mom jeans," you said.

"What are they then?"

"They're maternity jeans," you said, and Tyler giggled.

"Yeah, mom jeans," he said.

"Tyler," Jackie said, "She just had a baby."

"I know, I didn't say it was bad, moms are awesome," he said, going over to hug her, "Happy Mother's Day."

"How are you doing, honey?"

"Fine," he said, "Glad you're finally here, though, we've been been waiting forever."

"I thought we said around 6:30?" she asked.

"I just got here," your mom said.

"Yeah, that's what we said," he said, his hands going behind his head, and you say him glance out of the corner of his eye towards you, "The three of us have just been here for two hours."

"We have not been here for two hours," you said, "Don't listen to him, he's just trying to point out that we left too early."

"Oh, so you're admitting now that I was right," Tyler grinned.

"No, I wanted to get here early," you said, "I knew we were driving together and you kind of have a tendency for being late and missing meals."

Tyler immediately burst out laughing, and you laughed, just looking at him. "You did not just say that."

"Yeah, I did," you smiled with satisfaction. "Don't make fun of me if you can't handle it."

"Oh, I can handle it," Tyler said, "I'm a big boy."

"These are for you, honey," Jackie said, pressing a plate into your hands, "they're dark chocolate raspberry scones."

"Oh, they look amazing," you said, "thank you."

"You can freeze them, too," she said, "I was going to get you flowers, but I thought your mom might."

"Tyler did," you said, "he watched Bentley for me, too, last week, which was, like, the best gift ever."

For some reason, it was just suddenly so important to you that she knew just how well he had been taking care of you. You caught Tyler's eye, and then he smiled, and you gestured with your eyebrows.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He laughed, and now you gutted with your chin, and then pointed, but he was just frowning at you, and now you went and slid in next to him. "You can give your mom her gift."

"Oh," he said, and then he got up, making a big show of hiding it behind his back, "this is from y/n and me, and some other guy."

You were more watching Tyler's expression as he gave it to her, honestly, but you did catch how she gasped and her hands went to her face, showering you both with thanks, and you watched them hug again.

And you loved it.

"Tyler, you're rocking," Jackie laughed, her hands coming to rest on his shoulders.

"Sorry," he said, "habit."

"I do that all the time, too," you said, and Tyler caught your eye again, and then both of your eyes drifted back down to the baby, who seemed to be getting just a little bit fussy again.

"You should talk to him, Mom," he said, "see if you can get him to smile."

"Hi sweetheart," she said, leaning over him, where Candace was still holding him, tickling his belly. "Grandma loves you."

You felt Tyler smile next to you, as his mom said that his smiles were even better in person, and then you realized that you'd both sent her the same video of Bentley smiling. Ty;er stepped forward though, after they'd been kissing Bentley for a moment, "Stop, you guys are getting lipstick all over him," he said, picking up the bottom of his shirt, and using it to wipe off Bentley's cheeks.

"You're gonna get lipstick all over your shirt, Tyler," Jackie said, to which Tyler just shrugged, and then leaned over the baby, making all kinds of faces.

"What are you doing?" Candace laughed.

"Trying to make him laugh," Tyler said, continuing to contort his face.

"He's not going to be able to laugh for awhile," you said.

"I know," Tyler said, tickling him under the armpits, "We're practicing."

You smiled, watching them, as the waitress came around to take everyone's orders, and your sister was trying to get everyone going on some sake, to which Tyler was steadfastly refusing, as were you.

"I thought you liked it," Cassidy said.

"I do," he said, "I just don't feel like it."

"He's not drinking," you said, "Apparently not ever again."

"Why?"

"Because he called me drunk," you said, to which Tyler said "Shh..."

"Tyler..." Jackie sighed.

"What did he say?" Cassidy laughed.

"He just told me," you said, and then you squealed as Tyler moved his hand to clamp around your mouth, laughing as he pulled you back, "How much he loves Eminem."

"That is not why," Tyler said, releasing you. "I'm driving."

"Well, I can drive, if you want to have a drink," you said, "It's not like I can drink, anyways."

"Nope," Tyler said steadfastly, "I'm being responsible."

"How's your mother's day been going, honey?" Jackie asked.

"Good," you said, "Danielle came over earlier and we had ice cream cake. And we've just been hanging out."

"What? Why didn't you invite me?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know, usually I don't invite you, you just show up," you said, "you could have come."

"Well, I would have if you told me there was going to be ice cream cake," Tyler said, and you laughed, tapping him on the shoulder.

And you remembered that you hadn't shown them any of Tyler's family any of the newborn pictures, so you pulled your phone out and did so, knowing that Tyler's mom would especially like the ones that had Tyler's stuffed puppy dog in them.

"Aw, I love it," she said, "Can you get one printed for me, when you get them?"

"Yeah, I was planning to," you said, "There's just so many of them, I can't decide which ones I want."

"Just get them all," your mom said.

"She needs a really, really big house," Tyler said, and then both of your moms were talking about how it was so much different now, with everything being digital.

"I have that blanket, too, I got at my baby shower, that has the different months on it," you said, "so I took a picture of him on there with the toy when he was one month, and then I'm gonna do that every month, so you can really see how much he grows."

"Awe," Cassidy said, holding Bentley now, "Thank goodness he doesn't look too, too much like Tyler."

"Hey," Tyler said, "he looks a little like me."

"I'm just saying, it was a little risky, you don't know how he was going to turn out," she teased, looking right at Tyler.

"Your family has really, really good genes, though," you said, "I knew he was going to be adorable."

"He's a really good combination of both of you," your mom said, but you were barely paying attention to that because you were realizing it was the first time that Tyler said that Bentley looked like him, even when you showed him the pictures of him as a baby his mom had sent you and Bentley side by side, both at about a month old.

You sat back to watch as the rest of the gifts were opened and Bentley just kind of continued to get passed around the table, and your heart swelled even more when Tyler was trying to tell his sister just how Bentley liked to be bounced, easing his little bit of fussiness. You opened the "You've Got This Mama" mug from your sister, along with a Starbucks card, too.

"Oh, it's almost as awesome as the mug I got you," Tyler said.

"What mug did you get her?" Nicole asked, while you gave Tyler a harsh look, and he just laughed.

"You'll see it maybe, one day," Tyler said, "It's a surprise."

"What are you looking for?" you asked, when Tyler started going into the diaper bag.

"Something," he said, not even meeting your eye, and you looked at Bentley once more, who was content.

"Well, he's fine, Ty-," you started. But then he pulled out a little box, that was pretty much unmistakable.

"Here," he said, smiling as he set it down in front of you.

"But you already got me flowers," you said.

"Nope, I didn't," he grinned, "I'm sorry, but if you thought I was going to let your first Mother's Day go by without getting your something, then you're really not as smart as I thought you were."

"Well, you're taking me for dinner..."

"I never said I was buying you dinner," Tyler said, and then he laughed at your embarrassed expression, "C'mon, just open it and be happy."

"Okay," you said, undoing the ribbon on the box slowly, and you knew he was just watching your every expression. You slowly opened the box and the first thing your saw was the delicate rose gold chain, nestled against the cushioning inside the box. Hung on it was a roll that look like a scroll, out of the same matching rose gold, and you ran your finger, slowly over the cursive engraving wrapped around it, spelling out Bentley. "Oh, it's beautiful. I love rose gold"

"I know," he said, "So you like it?"

"I love it," you said, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek, "Thank you. Can you put it on me?"

"Yeah," he said, as you opened it up, putting it around your neck, and pulling your hair out of the way, and you jolted, just a little, when you felt his fingers and then his warm breath on the back of your neck, but you smiled as you put your hair back down, and Tyler smiled at you, catching your eye as you just kept toying with it.

"When you...if you still want to have more kids, we can get their names added on there, too," he said to you.

We can.

If you want.

Like he'd already decided, he was just waiting for you.

"How are the dogs doing with him?" Jackie asked.

"So awesome," you said, "All of them. Cash is super, super attached though. Like, he'll stay over with me, and he gets up and lays down at my feet every time I nurse the baby."

"Yeah, and then he comes home and sleeps all the next day because he's exhausted from being up with the baby all night," Tyler said, "Marshall was the first one who would actually like touch him though, and be gentle. And Gerry doesn't really know what to think, I think he was kind of scared, and then sort of jealous."

"But not aggressive," you clarified.

"No, no," Tyler said, "he's been trying to kiss him all the time, though, lately."

"It doesn't really seem to bother Bentley thought," you said.

"Yeah, well he'll grow up with them, and he'll be bossing them around in now time," Jackie said.

"They're really good thought," Tyler said, "They're really just happy they get to see their mom again."

You froze, from where you were taking another bite, and you felt everyone react the same way, looking at Tyler. It seemed unfair, in a way, that he could just call you 'mom', just throw it out there, just like that, without thinking about it twice. It didn't quite make sense, either, how the dogs could be yours, too, and yet Bentley wasn't really his.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Tyler asked.

Jackie smiled at you for a moment, before she said, "Nothing, honey," and Tyler just shrugged, going back to his meal.

You were thankful that even after the small incident, Bentley seemed to be handling his first trip out to a restaurant alright, steadily just kind of moving around the table, content even though he was awake, just looking around, until he came back to you once he got hungry, and you felt a little panicked, trying to feed him underneath the cover. Yet, somehow, Tyler just grabbed the fabric of the cover, holding it away from your body but keeping you covered so you could deal with the baby, all while still eating his dinner and continuing the conversation. Once the baby was latched, he looked over at you and then dropped the cover over him.

"You just see his foot sticking out of your shirt," Tyler snorted, and then he moved his chopsticks to your plate.

"Hey," you said as he picked up a piece of sushi.

"Open your mouth," he said.

"I don't really need you to feed me," you said.

"Mmm, yeah you do," he said, pressing the piece of sushi to your lips now, "Open."

"You are terrible with chopsticks," you said, as he gave you a second bite, and proceeded to drop rice all over you. And then he was laughing, leaning into you as he tried to wipe it all off of you, swiping at you with a napkin. "Okay," I think you got it all," you laughed.

Still, he pulled the top of the cover away from your body, sticking his head in the opening. "I didn't get any on you, did I?"

You realized then, that everyone was staring at you both again, and that you just kept getting wrapped up in this bubble of just the two of you. You cleared your throat, separating yourself a little from Tyler

You finished feeding him, and then Tyler took him while you got a cloth to wipe up the milk that had gotten on his face. "He is so milk drunk," you said, looking at his sleepy face. "I'm gonna get his wrap, to see if he'll nap on me," you said, and Tyler nodded.

You were putting it on when you heard Tyler say "Do you like avocado like mama?" and you turned to see him, with a piece of avocado on his finger, slowly bringing it towards Bentley's mouth.

"No!" you said, loudly, reaching for Tyler's wrist, and you realized that everyone was staring at you, and you released your grip, Tyler's face pulling away from yours, blinking. "He could choke."

"I wasn't actually going to put it near his mouth," Tyler laughed, "I was just playing around."

"Oh."

"That was scary," Tyler said, "I thought you were going to deck me in the face."

"I was not going to hit you," you said.

"It looked like it," he said, standing up with Bentley now to put him in the wrap, "You were like, straight mama bear. Viscous."

"Is Uncle Tyler being silly?" you asked Bentley, settling his head against your chest.

"That's not my name," Tyler said. And for a second, you worried that you'd done it again, except you'd very deliberately chosen the world 'uncle' to let him know that you'd heard him. Except Tyler was smiling at you.

"Uncle Ty-ty," you said, under your breath.

"You want him to call you 'Uncle Ty-Ty?" Cassidy frowned.

"Yeah."

"Why?" He asked.

"It's just a....horrible choice," she said.

"No, it's not," Tyler said, looking at you for validation.

But your face gave everything away.

"Well, you guys," Tyler said, gesturing at his sisters, "used to call me 'Ty-Ty' before you could say 'Tyler' so I wanted him to call me that too."

"What, we did?" She asked, and Jackie nodded.

"Awe," you said, "I love that."

"Are you gonna actually call me that now?" He asked.

"Yes," you said, rubbing Bentley's back to ease him into sleep, kissing the top of his head.

"Is his hair lighter?" Jackie asked.

"Yeah, it is."

"A bunch of it fell out," Tyler said.

"It's growing back in, it's just lighter colour" you said, now, "I don't know why you're so concerned about it."

"He's projecting," Candace said, leaning over to mess up Tyler's hair.

You pulled up the wrap back over Bentley's head now, and then sat back, only for Tyler to lean in next to you, his phone out in front of him. "First mother's day," he said and you'd barely had time to smile, before he moved away from you, leaning towards his sister before he flipped the camera around, recording the rest of the table.

"Oh my god, you never even warn us," Candace said, as Tyler laughed, typing away on his phone now.

"Oh, yeah, he posted a picture of me, 8 months pregnant, after a 4 hour flight."

"So rude," Candace said.

"Don't worry, I didn't show his face."

"What about my face?" Cassidy asked.

"Your face is fine."

"I was eating!" She said, which only made Tyler laugh harder.

That was something hadn't really considered, when you went into this. But course Tyler was going to be a part of his life. And course he'd want to show him off.

You'd have to think about what you were okay with.

"Is he still sleeping?" Tyler asked, once you were back in the car, ready to go home.

"Yeah," you said, "he's all tuckered out, I think."

"Well, going out to eat for the first time can do that to a guy."

You were honestly kind of tired too, thankful that Tyler was driving so you could lean your head against the window. You were kind oof thinking you might actually fall asleep, when Tyler pulled into a parking lot.

"Where are we going?"

"Post-dinner Target date," he said, and you blinked in confusion. "You said you needed something for his stroller."

"Oh, that's right, the rain cover" you said, looking at the store, wondering if you should just run in and leave Tyler in the car with the baby.

"Also, you need food."

"I don't need food, I have tons of meals in the freezer."

"Yeah, but you need snack stuff," Tyler said, getting out of the car, "something you can grab if you're busy with the baby. C'mon."

So you got out, putting Bentley's car seat into a shopping cart.

"Okay, what do you want for snacks?" Tyler asked, once you were inside.

"I don't know," you said, "hummus and crackers?"

"Kind of boring, but whatever," he said, and you followed him with the cart, where he was leaned over, pulling something off the shelf. "Look, these already have crackers and pretzels in them, these are perfect for you."

"Yeah, okay," you said, going into the next aisle over, looking for some popcorn. And then you grabbed a bag of tortilla chips, too. "Don't let me forget avocados."

"K," Tyler said, putting a big container of trail mix in the cart now. "Nuts because you're nuts."

You shook your head, pushing the cart into the frozen food section now, picking out the stuff stuff you liked to make acai bowls,while Tyler came over with a bag of pizza rolls. "Oh, i don't like those."

"They're for me," he said, "maybe would like a snack while I'm at your house."

"Oh okay," you said, walking towards the baby section of the store now, while Tyler disappeared and then came back a moment later, dumping a box of granola bars, and....three boxes of cereal into the cart.

"We don't need Count chocola and Reese Puffs," you said.

"Yeah, we do," Tyler said.

"This is family sized box of cinnamon toast crunch."

"I know," he said, his finger circling around the three of you. "Family."

You were a little concerned when he disappeared again, but you went to find the cover for the stroller and were in the diaper section when you sensed him behind you. "You can get diapers with skulls on them? And space men?"

"Space men?" You laughed, "They're astronauts."

"Yeah, those are the ones he wants," Tyler said, and you grabbed them to put them in the car, and then you immediately laughed, because there were jeans laid out over Bentley's legs, and a cap sitting on his belly. "What did you do?"

"Look how cool these are," Tyler said, holding up the pair of straight leg black baby jeans, complete with distressing over knees. "He's gonna be such a stud in them."

You were about to say you he had plenty of pants, but then Tyler said, "I have jeans that look just like this."

"Were they also $15?" You asked.

"No," Tyler said, shaking his head. "And this hat will be better for him for the summer than the beanies he usually wears."

"What? Oh, his toques."

"Yeah, his toques," Tyler said, shaking his head and scoffing at you like you were crazy. "What size shoes does he wear?"

"What size shoes?" You repeated. "he doesn't wear shoes."

"Yeah, I know," Tyler said, and the next thing you knew, he had come back, and was holding up white slip-on sneakers up to Bentley's feet.

"He doesn't really need shoes."

"They're part of his outfit, you heard how much people liked what I picked out for him to wear," Tyler said, and then moved his face down next to Bentley's "Mom, you're embarrassing me. I want the cool shoes."

"Okay," you said, and Tyler grinned and put them in the cart. "I feel like there's something I'm forgetting."

"Yeah, your avocados."

"No, something else," you said grabbing a pack of wipes, even though you were pretty sure you still had had plenty.

Still, you followed Tyler to the produce section, slowly looking down each vacant aisle in the grocery store, trying to jog your memory.

"Babe!" Tyler yelled, and it seemed loud in the empty story, and he turned around slowly, holding the avocados to his chest, his eyebrows raised. "What do you think of my avocados?"

You immediately bent over the cart, growing weak with laughter, and you felt Tyler circle around you, placing the avocados in the cart. You looked at him, his eyebrow raised in question, and that only made you laugh harder. "You just reminded me," you said, gasping for breath. "You reminded me I need breast pads."

Tyler through his head back laughing, and then you walked back to the baby section, both of you looking at each other every now and snickering.

"Hey, do you still have ice cream cake left over?" Tyler asked, as you were grabbing the item you needed 

"Yes," you laughed.

"Do you want to go home, put this guy to bed, and war ice cream cake and watch our show?"

"Yes," you said.

Because that was exactly what you wanted, even when Tyler left again to go down another aisle for god knows what.

You wanted that too.

You only wanted to do all of your grocery shopping with him.


	55. Chapter 55

It was awkward, really, was what it was, you thought, stretched out across the grass, your head propped up in your hand, while the other one was rubbing Marshall's belly. Danielle was on the other side of the activity mat she'd gotten for Bentley, which was perfect for a day like today so he could hang out outside with you without being in the sun. It also seemed to be helpful for protecting him from Gerry who was running around playing and seemed to forget where you had the baby, and then have to try and avoid running into him at the last second.

It was awkward because Tyler had other people over, some of whom you'd never met before. Which was fine, except, while everyone else had shown up with snacks and sunglasses, drinks and maybe a swimsuit, you'd shown up with baby gear, and a carseat, and a diaper bag. It just seemed strange, to bring along a baby, when everyone else just seemed to be kind of focused on unwinding, and having a good time, while you were just focused on making sure Bentley was content.

There was definitely a shift or a separation, that had happened. You were very much so just focused on creating a family for yourself, and everything else just kind of didn't really seem to matter to you, right now.

It didn't really quite fit for you anymore.

And Tyler, of course, seemed to think there was nothing strange about you bringing a baby along.

Things changed though, a lot more than you'd thought they'd would. Before Bentley was born, Tyler had seemed like he was right there, like you could kiss him or touch him however you wanted, like there was something there, and you both knew it. Like you spent all your time together, without even realizing it, it was the next night, and you were still together. It became usual, to have him in your bed, or for you to be in his bed and now, with the exception of that first night Bentley was home from the hospital, it was Cash who was just the regular extra in your bed.

But, it really was like there was kind of a line drawn in the sand.

Was it selfish, though, if you just kind of wanted to hang out with your good friends and your baby in Tyler's house for the rest of the summer, maybe just having dinner with your families, or doing puzzles with his sisters while Bentley was napping, or maybe just holding your baby while you watched a game of horseshoes or spikeball or something.

It was a different experience, being a mother, because you didn't really feel like you were living for yourself at all anymore. And you were sure you'd get back to that, once again but, for now, your body was just kind of all his.

"What are you doing?" you frowned, looking at Tyler who was now laying on his stomach on the ground with his phone extended in front of him, one hand moving Bentley's foot up next to Cash's paw.

"What are you doing?" he asked, panning his phone up towards you, and you could tell by the smile on his face that he was recording a video, which you were not prepared for at all. You gave him a look at tried to slowly move out of the frame, which made him just laughed harder, and then you took your foot, pushing against his arm harder until he lost his grip, his phone tumbling into the grass, and he rolled over onto his side laughing.

"If you broke my phone, you're buying me a new one," he said.

"I did not break your phone," you said. "It's not my fault that you don't have a case on it."

"Well, I wasn't expecting you to kick me," he said.

"I did not kick you," you said, "I nudged you. With my foot."

"Is that why you child is kicking a," Tyler tilted his head, looking at the toys hanging down, "fish in the head? Did you learn that from Mama?"

"He's playing," you laughed, "He loves his toy Auntie Danielle got for him."

"Yeah, he does," Tyler said, turning to look over at him. "Is your guy still coming? What's his name again, again?"

"Jeremy," Danielle said, looking at her phone, "Yeah, he's coming after work."

"What does he do?"

"He's an accountant," she said. And you prepared yourself, expecting Tyler to comment just about how boring that sounded, and how stuffy he must be, but he surprised you.

"Ooh," Tyler said, "that sounds smart."

You shifted a little, looking at your watch, and then you leaned forward, pulling Tyler's phone towards you and unlocking it, and then going to his Instagram to see for yourself what Cassidy had texted you. "People think I'm your cousin?" you asked.

"Huh?" he asked, blinking at you.

"People think I'm your cousin," you repeated.

You didn't quite know how to respond that that, honestly. You supposed it was better than the alternative, but there had to be that, too.

"Well, I certainly hope not," Tyler laughed awkwardly.

"Of course we're not, we had genetic testing before we had him."

"Oh yeah," he said. "What are you..where are you even getting this from?"

"Your Instagram," you said. "Your sister told me about it."

"Yeah, I saw that, I think, the other day. Either that, or you're my....baby mama or something" Tyler said, scratching his head, "What is my sister doing on Instagram?"

"It doesn't matter what your sister is doing on Instagram. Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"Because it doesn't really matter," he said, "It's probably just from when we went out to Mother's Day and I put 'family mother's day' or something like that."

"You put 'family mother's day'?" you asked.

"Something like that, I don't remember exactly."

"Oh, Tyler," you said, running your hands through your hair.

"What?"

"I don't know, how much I want," you said, "Like I don't think I want you to show his face, right now."

"I didn't?"

"'K, well, don't."

"I won't," he said, but it came out as more of a question, his hand rubbing up and down Marshall's side now as he lifted his head to look back at you. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Are you sure?" He asked, "I don't have to post any pictures of him, if you don't want me to."

"No, what you've been doing is fine, I think."

"Do you want me to show you before I post stuff, and then you could, like approve it?"

"No, I don't need to approve every one of your social media posts, I'm not your mother."

"Okay," Tyler said, dragging out the word now, his fingers pulling at the grass. "Are you sure I didn't fuck up? Because you aren't really convincing me otherwise."

"Yes, I'm sure, Tyler."

"You know how I need you to tell me when I fuck up sometimes? This is one of those times," he said, looking at you sheepishly, and you laughed a little when he did. "Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

You wanted to tell at him then that you couldn't just dictate his whole life for him, it wasn't just about what you wanted. You had to think what was best, with all of you now.

You wanted to scream at him, that he wouldn't understand, because he wasn't a parent.

But you couldn't.

He hadn't done anything wrong.

So you took a deep breath, and looked out into the water for a moment, "I didn't think about this part," you said, "I'm not quite sure what is best."

"What part?"

"The whole social media thing," you said, waving your hand in the air.

"Well, it's not a big deal," he laughed.

"Yes, it is a big deal, Tyler," you said. Because now you were thinking, what if he had an interview or something, at his house, and he had pictures of Bentley up, and then just everyone was talking. "This is gonna be out there, like forever, and you've got like, two hundred thousand Instagram followers, that's not normal."

He looked like he was about to make a correction about the number of followers that he had, but thought better of it. "No, I don't mean like that, I mean you don't need to freak out and stress about it right now, it doesn't matter this very second."

You opened your mouth and then shut it again.

"You over think everything, babe, just relax," he said, "I just won't do anything more until you tell me."

"Well, his feet and stuff is fine, I just don't know, Tyler."

"Well, you'll figure it out," he said, "But until you do, I'm just going to still take hundreds of pictures of him and send them to my mom, 'k?"

"Okay," you laughed.

"I got your back," he said, smiling at you, and then all of you looked down at Bentley, who was making noises, batting at the toys above him with his fists. "Yeah, bud, you punch that lobster. Are you killing it so you can eat it for dinner?"

"You're ridiculous," you laughed.

"It's your child whose the one that's violent."

"Umm.." Danielle interrupted, pointing behind Tyler, "Your child is currently trying to pull all the bark off that tree."

"Gerry!" Tyler yelled, "Stop that!"

Bentley's eyes went wide with surprise, and you laughed rubbing his hand.

"So sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, it was all the puppy's fault," Tyler said, leaning forward to kiss him on the belly, and Bentley grinned. "I'm so glad he knows how to smile, now, because before he would just, like, lie there, and you didn't know if he liked what you were doing."

"Yeah, well if he's not crying —-oooof!" you said, as Gerry knocked you over, and then proceeded to shove a slobbery tennis ball in your face, and you could hear Tyler giggling as you tried to fend the dog off. "Make sure he doesn't step on the baby, by accident," you struggled to get out, finally reaching for the ball and throwing it across the yard so Gerry could run after it, scooping it up in his mouth. "K, bring it back!" You said, and he came running back towards you, jumping over you and dropping the ball at Bentley's feet, Danielle putting her arm out so he wouldn't get too close to the baby.

"Did you bring him the ball? Good boy," Tyler said, then the next thing you knew, Bentley was crying as Gerry licked him right over his face, Danielle grabbing him, while both you and Tyler tried to pull Gerry off, who just backed up and barked.

"Awe, it's okay," you said, leaning over, your knuckles rubbing over Bentley's cheek, and you let Gerry sniff him now. "I had to suck a bunch of stuff out of his nose this morning and he didn't like it, so I think he's just freaking out when something gets in his face, thinking its gonna happen again. It's okay, Ger, it's not your fault."

"You had to what?" Tyler asked.

"He was congested," you said, and Tyler made a face. "It's not like he can blow his nose or anything."

"Oh, yeah," he said, and you looked over at Bentley who was cooing now, looking up at Danielle his arms stretching out so his hand clasped at her chest.

"Oh, he just grabs your boob," Tyler laughed.

"I'm sorry, I don't have anything in there for you," she said.

"Oh geez," you said, leaning forward and unwrapping his fingers from her shirt, pulling. "Yeah, let's not take off Auntie Danielle's shirt."

Meanwhile, Tyler was just killing himself laughing. "That's kind of aggressive, bud," Tyler said, "Big boob guy, huh?"

"He's a baby," you said.

"Well, he's never tried to feel me up like that, just saying."

"Oooh, he's here!" Danielle said, getting up and practically shoving the baby into your arms and running off to meet him.

"Ooh, he's here!" Tyler imitated, his hands waving in the air.

"Tyler, be nice," you said, "she really likes him."

"I am being nice, that was just like the girliest thing ever," he said, and you gave him a doubtful look. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"It's...you just have a tendency to be intense, that's all."

"I just want to make sure he's a good guy," Tyler said, and you couldn't really argue with that. "Sometimes you guys don't really make the best choices."

"Hey!"

"I never said I did either," Tyler said, "And I'm really protective over the women in my life, I can't help it, you know that."

"No, I know, I'm just..."

"Keeping me in check?" Tyler smiled, "yeah, I know."

Bentley started fussing in your arms, his arms shooting outwards as he cried, and you rocked him, looking down at Marshall who was blinking. "Did he hit him?"

"I think he poked him in the eye," Tyler laughed.

"Awe, I'm sorry, Marshall."

"Well, he's practically sitting on you," Tyler said, and you laughed because you were really just surrounded by dogs. "Are you so protective?" Tyler asked, laying down so his head was neck to Marshall's. "That's a good boy."

Bentley continued to fuss in your arms and you shifted, looking down at him. "What's wrong?"

"He wants some boobs," Tyler said.

"It's kind of a bit early for him to be hungry," you said, looking at his face for any signs, "He didn't eat much earlier though, his stomach has been bothering him."

"What's wrong with his stomach?" Tyler asked.

"Nothing, I'm just waiting for him to poop," you said, continuing to try and soothe the baby.

"Babies are kinda gross," Tyler said, kissing at his back, "How are you so cute and so gross?"

You smiled, shifting him closer to you and then looking back towards the house, and then behind you, towards the group of people by the deck. "Where should I feel him?"

Tyler raised an eyebrow at you, sitting up. "Here? In a chair? I don't know, wherever you want."

"Okay," you said, dragging out the word, and Tyler gave you another weird look, rolling on to his back so Gerry could crawl up on him, while you pulled the top of your dress and pulled the baby to you, trying to get him to latch, which was not working very well and you took a deep breath, trying to relax.

"Is he alright?" Tyler asked, after a moment.

"Yeah, he's just having trouble lately," you said, and then you jumped with surprise when there was a blast of loud music.

"Hey!" Tyler yelled, and then made a motion to turn it down.

"I can just go inside, Tyler, it's okay," you said.

"No, you stay," he said, rubbing your foot, "they don't need to listen to music that loud."

"Shouldn't you like...go hang out with your friends?"

"Yeah, I am."

"I meant them," you said, gesturing your head towards the other side.

"Oh," Tyler said, "I mean, they're not really my friends."

"Why are they here then?"

"They're, like, friends of friends, just hanging out," Tyler shrugged, and then he made a noise when Gerry jumped off a him, tail wagging as he ran towards Danielle and Jeremy. "Who's that?" Tyler asked, pushing himself up and following Gerry, and then you watched over your shoulder as Tyler shook Jeremy's hand and told him it was nice to meet him, and you waved a little with your free hand.

"Hey, Y/N, how are you?"

"Good," you said, "How are work?"

"Uh, not too bad," he said, crouching down in front of Cash now, who had his tail wagging. "Hey, who's this guy?"

"That's Cash," Tyler said. "and Marshall and Gerry."

You continued to feed Bentley, watching as Tyler just kept walking around looking up at the trees. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to figure out where to put a hammock."

"You bought a hammock?" you asked, and Tyler nodded.

"Hey, Jeremy, do you know anything about hammocks?"

Danielle sat down next to you, and then you both had to watch, trying not to laugh, as the boys tried to set up the hammock.

"Tyler, you're gonna have to put tighter," you said.

"Yeah, I got it, thanks!" he said, waving you off.

You were really laughing though, when he tried to sit in it, and you watched him fall backwards when it wasn't as high as he thought it was, his knees folding into his chest. "You might have been right."

"Yeah, I might have," you grinned.

"Just a little bit," he grinned back.

He went back to fixing it, and you went back to finishing feeding Bentley, propping him up on your legs once you were done, and then you laughed because all three dogs were sniffing him.

And then you could hear Tyler, clearing his throat very loudly, and you looked over to see him and Jeremy both sitting in the hammock now, which was an appropriate level.

"Say 'yay, you did it'," you said, clapping Bentley's hands together, and he smiled.

"He's so happy," Danielle said.

"Except when he's mad," you said, leaning down to kiss him, "then he gets really, really mad."

"He just smiles like he knows," she said.

"Hey," Tyler said, leaning over you now, "Can I have him for a sec?"

"Why are you making that face? What are you going to do to him?"

"I just want to see if he likes the hammock."

"'K, well he just ate, so don't do anything crazy with him," you said, lifting him up to Tyler's arms.

"I would not," Tyler said, pulling him close, "Your mama's crazy."

You rolled over onto your side, watching as Tyler sat down very carefully with Bentley. "Does he like it?" you asked after a minute.

"He looks a little confused," Tyler laughed, still watching him, and then you saw Mike and Josie walk into the backward, both of them stopping a little when they saw Tyler with a baby.

Oh god, this was awkward.

"Whose baby did you steal?" Mike asked, and Tyler pointed to you.

Oh my god.

"I told you she was pregnant," Tyler said, "And that she had him - I sent you a picture of him!"

"I thought you were joking," Mike said.

"No, why would I joke about that?" Tyler asked, making a weird face and, when Bentley started crying he stood up, walking with him, and then you got up, going to take him from Tyler, Gerry crying at your feet now, looking up at the baby, and you bounced him a couple of times, his cries soothing. "Oh, you just wanted Mama?" Tyler asked.

"Sorry," Mike said, coming over to hug you on the side where you weren't holding the baby, "Hi, Y/N. Congratulations."

"He's so cute," Josie said. "What's his name?"

"Bentley," you said, looking up at Tyler and he nodded a little. "Bentley Tyler."

And then you watched them look at the baby, and then back at Tyler, like they were just now seeing the resemblance.

"It's..."

"He was very much planned, and very much wanted," Tyler said, "And she gets to be his mom, and I get to be his Uncle Ty-Ty."

"Oh," Mike said, and then shook his head. "Sorry, I'm really happy for you. It just...took me by surprise."

"Yeah, no, I get it," you said, "it's different."

"That's really awesome, though," he said.

"Yeah," you said, "Yeah, he is. Did you guys want to hold him?"

"Yes," Josie said, almost immediately, taking him from you. "Hey, you're so cute."

"Okay, don't get any ideas."

You smiled down and then, and then Bentley sneezed hard. "Ah, bless you," you said, going to grab something to wipe his face. But before you could, Tyler was pulling up the bottom of his shirt, wiping at his face. "Is that better? Is your nose less stuffy now?"

"I have a cloth, Tyler," you said, and he just shrugged, seemingly not noticing that everyone was disgusted by what he was doing.

Bentley started fussing again, and you took him back. "Are you getting tired?" you asked, bending down to grab his pacifier. He, luckily, did not take very long to fall back asleep, and you sat down with him in a chair that was in the shade.

It was kind of your favourite thing ever, just getting to hold him when he napped.

You just could not get over him.

So you were just barely listening when Jeremy mentioned some new restaurant or something, and suggested that you double date sometime, and you felt Tyler shift, where he was sitting on the ground, leaning against your shins, petting the dogs, and you watched Danielle's eyes widen and try to communicate with him through looks, but he did not notice at all.

"Oh, we're not together," you felt Tyler say.

"Oh right," he said, looking apologetically at you now, "Right, I knew that."

"Yeah, we're just friends," you said, putting on what felt like the fakest smile ever, and now Tyler looked back over his shoulder, his forehead creased with a frown.

"Well, we're not just friends," he said.

And you didn't really know how to respond, because nothing would ever be the same again. You would never be "just friends" again, but you couldn't see yourself just not having him in your life either.

But you didn't want to feel like you were on this verge of fighting with him, every time you saw him, over things you couldn't say.

"Well, I'm not seeing anyone right now," you said.

"Well, I'm sure I could find a friend if you want to come."

"Not an accountant," Tyler said, and you could sense his whole body tensing. "Not that there's anything wrong with accountants, she's just not an accountant kind of girl."

You frowned at Tyler, because it wasn't like you could tell everything about anyone from their occupation, but you shook it off.

"Yeah, I'm not really into dating right now. At this stage of my life," you said, looking down at Bentley, sleeping in your arms.

"Yeah, Bentley's her main man," Tyler said.

"Well, you could bring him..."

"I don't really like going out anymore," you said although it came out as more of a question, like you were unsure how people might take it. "I'm more of a homebody."

"But you brought him out with us the other night?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, but that was like a family thing," you said, petting Cash who was sticking his head through the side of the chair, his tail wagging. "I like doing family things."

Tyler turned around now, too, scratching Cash behind the ears and kissing him on the top of the head. "Are you so happy that your baby came to visit you?" he asked, before looking up at you. "I'm gonna go get a drink, you want anything?"

"Umm, just some water," you said, and Jeremy decided to go into the house with him, Danielle looking at you, until they were out of earshot.

"I think he's gonna kill my boyfriend," she said.

"What?" you laughed.

"You should have seen the look on his face when Jeremy suggested setting you up with one of his friends," she said.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah," she said, "It was intense, he looked so pissed off."

"Why are you so happy about it then?"

"Because he's so in love with you he can't even hide it," she said.

"But he's not..." you said. Because you couldn't even finish the sentence. You couldn't even tell her how much it had hurt you, when he said he couldn't be Bentley's dad, and it felt like that was the dagger right there, like he'd made his decision.

"Hey," Tyler said, leaning around you to place your water on the armrest of the chair. "I'm gonna take Jeremy out on the boat, like really quick. Can he come with us?"

"Can Bentley come with you?" you repeated.

"Yes," Tyler nodded.

"Umm...no," you said. "Not today."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't have a life jacket for him," you said, "I can get one, though, and then he can go with you."

"No, I do."

"What?" you asked. "No, you need a special life jacket, for infants, he can't just wear an adult one."

"Yeah, that's what I have," Tyler said.

"You have an infant life jacket?"

"Yeah, it's for 9 to...like 20 or 25 pounds," Tyler said, "He's more than 9 pounds now, right?"

"Yeah..." you said tentatively.

"I'll get it, and you can look at it," he said. And, sure enough, he did in fact, have an infant life vest.

"When did you get this?" you asked.

"Umm...last summer, I went to go buy a new cover for the boat to winterize it, and I just saw that and thought it would be a good idea to have around the house. Is it the right one?"

"Yes, it's the right one," you smiled, standing up with Bentley now.

"He's allowed to come?"

"Yeah," you said, "I just didn't want him to go with out a life jacket."

"Well, I wouldn't have asked otherwise," Tyler said, and then he started giggling, watching as you put Bentley into the life jacket. "Can he even move in that thing?"

"I don't think so," you said, laughing because Bentley was just staring up at you with wide eyes.

"He's like 'what are you guys doing to me?'" Tyler laughed.

"Well, he's not crying," you said.

"Well, he's not smiling, either," Tyler said.

"Should we get you a hat?" you asked, picking him back up and going over to where you'd put his diaper bag, finding a sun hat, and trying to put it on him, and then grabbing his pacifier and handing it to Tyler.

"Look how cute they are," Tyler said, and you followed his gaze to see Danielle and Jeremy curled up in the hammock, kissing, and then Tyler just whistled at them.

"Stop, you're gonna embarrass them," your said.

"He won't care, not if he really loves her," Tyler said, taking Bentley from you, "You don't want to come?"

"No," you said, "I don't know if I can handle the motion anymore."

"You don't know if you can handle the motion anymore," Tyler scoffed.

"Yeah," you said, "And I don't really think the dogs are gonna like you taking him."

"Okay," Tyler said, "Dani, you want to come?"

"'No, that's okay."

"K, say goodbye to your girls," Tyler said, tilting Bentley towards you. "Bye, Mama. I will tell you all about it when I get back."

His hat fell off, though, and Gerry jumped and snatched it out of the air before it even hit the ground.

"Gerry!" Tyler yelled, even as Gerry ran off behind the tree with the hat in his mouth. "Come here!"

"C'mhere," you said, crouching down and patting your legs, grabbing one of his ball's from the ground. "Here, I'll trade you. Good boy."

"No, that's a bad dog," Tyler said, as you put Bentley's hat back on, Gerry's tail still wagging.

"He's just learning," you said.

"He knows better," Tyler said, looking down at Bentley now, moving his chin to hold his hat on. "I don't know if this thing is gonna stay on him."

"Well, just try your best, I can't put sunscreen on him or anything."

"It's not that hot out."

"Yeah, but his skin is sensitive," you said.

"'K well, he's gonna be on me the whole time," Tyler said, "Yeah, I'll protect you from the sun."

"Let me take a picture," you said, and Tyler just grinned, putting his face next to Bentley's.

"He's got his fisherman hat on, he's all ready to go," Tyler said. "Are you gonna drive the boat, bud?"

You'd be lying if you said you weren't just a little bit nervous about him being on the boat, but you knew you'd triple checked the straps on the life jacket, and Tyler had Bentley propped up on his lap, one arm strong around him, just pulling the boat out as slowly as possible, leaning around to check Bentley's reaction.

"Oh my heart," you said, opening your phone to take a video of them, hearing a collection of paws following you out onto the dock. You felt Danielle with you as well, as Tyler handed Bentley over to Jeremy for just a moment to take his shirt off, and Jeremy leaned around, making a series of faces, and then handed him back to Tyler, leaning in to interact with the baby.

Just as you suspected, though, as they drove away, Marshall started running to the edge of the dock barking, while Gerry followed him, and Cash was looking like he was contemplating jumping in.

"Okay, you don't need to swim after them it's too cold," you said, "C'mon, guys let's go wait over here on the grass. Marshall? Marshall! They're okay, c'mon."

Finally you managed to get him over next to you, where he very promptly flopped onto his back to have his belly rubbed. Danielle laughed, setting down next to you, occupying the dogs.

"Is it just me, or are guys with babies super hot?" she asked. "How do you not just....jump him all the time?"

"Well, I don't just...normally jump him," you laughed awkwardly.

"Ah, so he does the jumping, I see."

"Well..I mean, kind of, yeah," you said. "I don't know, it was easier when were trying to get pregnant, because they pretty much every time we saw each other, it was like, maybe we should have sex."

"Yeah, it is easy to have sex with someone who you're not in a relationship with or have any kind of agreement with if you're trying to make a baby."

You just gave her a look, leaning back onto the grass.

"Have you guys....since he was born?"

You shook your head. "I don't even know if I can yet," you said, "I have an appointment in a few days."

"Oh," she said, "Are you going to after that then?"

"No," you said, "No I don't think so."

Because things had changed, there was a Before Bentley and an After Bentley. And maybe there was a little bit of overlap, but it seemed like you didn't touch quite the same way. You didn't just end up kissing, or see each other naked, or just curl up in bed together.

And maybe you were imagining it, but he didn't call you 'babe' as much anymore.

But that didn't make sense either, because it wasn't like that was a new thing, when you started on this whole....journey together.

So you just played with the dogs, until Marshall just ran to the end of the dock barking again, and then you saw them come back around the corner, just as they'd left.

"Did he like it?" you asked, once they were parked.

"He loved it," Tyler said, "I think. He wasn't really smiling, but he was looking all around and stuff, I took a video on my phone so you can see."

He handed you the baby's hat, stepping off the boat and then all the dogs were just swarming him to try and sniff the baby's feet.

"Here, let's take this thing off of you and put it away for next time," Tyler said, laying Bentley down and he cooed as Tyler unbuckled him, tickling his belly. "Are you tell Mama how fun it was? Convincing her to come with us next time?"

You laughed, "The dogs were not very happy about it."

"Yeah, I heard. How come they don't care when I go out on the boat, but the second the baby does, they freak out?"

"I don't know, maybe they know he doesn't know how to swim," you said.

"Yeah," Tyler said, lifting Bentley back up, holding him in front of you. "I need to tell you something exciting, Mommy."

"What's that?"

"I got really, really excited when I was on Uncle Ty-Ty's boat, and I accidentally pooped my pants."

"Oh," you said, taking him from Tyler, and then you looked back over your shoulder. "Where should I change him?"

"Wherever you want? I don't know, usually you change him on the floor, when I changed him I just put his mat thing down on the bed because I have old man knees," Tyler said, peering at you. "You're being so weird today."

"I'm not being weird."

"Kinda weird," Tyler said, running his hand through his hair, as you picked up the diaper bag and started back towards the house.

"Okay, I guess you're all coming with me," you said, holding the door open for the dogs to get through.

It was weird, and awkward, though, as everyone else left and it was just the couples. Or, really, the couples of Danielle and Jeremy and Mike and Josie, and then it was just you, and Tyler, and Bentley.

And it was also very awkward, when you ordered pizza and were watching T.V., Bentley sleeping on the couch surrounded by a wall of pillows, and Tyler just picked up your pizza and ate most of the cheese right off it, and then he'd had to explain that you couldn't eat much dairy because it made your baby's stomach hurt.

But it was fine.

You were fine.

You were just considering packing up Bentley and heading out, when you came out of the bathroom to discover that everyone else had gone back outside, and Tyler was now holding Bentley, who appeared to be dressed in one of Tyler's zip-ups, his whole body swimming in the fabric, and the arms tied around his body, like some sort of makeshift swaddling blanket.

"Did you put him in your sweatshirt?" you laughed.

"Yeah, he was getting cold, and we're gonna go outside and have a fire," Tyler said.

"He has his own sweatshirts and blankets, you know."

"He likes this," Tyler said, hugging him close, and Bentley started crying, and then Tyler started bouncing with him. "Okay, maybe he doesn't like this."

"Awe," you said, taking Bentley from Tyler and bouncing him yourself, his cries getting quieter pretty much immediately.

"I was doing that exact same thing," Tyler said. "How come you only want Mama?"

"Sometimes he cries when I have him, and then he's fine when you take him," you said, "He just wants what he wants when he wants it."

"Is that true?" Tyler asked, leaning over to kiss him. "Do you want to have a bonfire? Are you so excited for your first bonfire?"

And you realized, then, that somehow Tyler had managed to be there for all of Bentley's firsts, even though he wasn't physically there for most of the first month of Bentley's life.

**

Nothing made sense anymore.

You just could not handle the mixed signals anymore, the feeling like he was pulling away to do things on his own, and then he'd call you, like he did when he was away, to tell you he missed you.

He'd only let you take Cash, while he was gone, too, which was just ridiculous because the dogs didn't like to be apart from each other too much, especially Marshall and Cash, so you'd had to meet Tyler's mom so they could actually see each other again.

And you had to refrain from asking her why her son was being such an idiot.

But then he'd just hug you, and everything felt right.

Only for him to pull away again, and get lost in his own world, not really seeming to understand why you didn't want to come over, when he was having a party, when you had an infant, because he seemed to just think you could put the baby to sleep in his bed, and just tell everyone to keep it down.

It did not work.

And, yet.

And yet when Bentley was screaming his head off in your arms, and you felt like you wanted to scream, it was his name that your shaky finger found in your phone. Every single time.

"Hey," Tyler answered.

You took a deep, shuttering breath, and preparing yourself to speak, but he beat you to it.

"What's wrong?" he asked. And his concerned tone, letting you know he was focused on nothing else other than making sure you were okay, made you lose it. "I'm coming over, okay?' he said, and you felt like you could hear the jingles of his keys, already.

"Okay," you whispered.

"Just hang tight," he said. But as you hung up, you gripped your phone, hard in your hand, and then tossed it on the couch, hot tears running down your face. Because you felt like you needed him, like he was all you wanted, but as soon as you'd reached out, you felt like a failure.

This was supposed to be your thing.

"I am so sorry," you said, clutching your son to your chest, rubbing your hand up and down his back, because it was all you could do. You jumped when you heard the car door slam, and then again, when the front door of your house was open and shut in one motion. He looked at you, and you knew he just saw it all, his face softening.

And you lost it again.

You looked at each other, for a moment, as if Bentley's cries went quiet, and then life seemed to take over again.

"Okay," Tyler said, taking Bentley from you, "Let's go lay down in your crib for a minute."

"He has a fever, Tyler," you said, following Tyler to the nursery, where he laid Bentley down in his crib.

"Yeah, it's okay," Tyler said, taking your shoulder, and pulling you away from the crib. "If he's crying, then he's breathing, he'll be okay for one minute."

"I...." you said.

"Shhh..." Tyler said, in a way that could be condescending, but wasn't, and you took a deep breath, Bentley's cries quieter now that the door of his room was closed. He sat down on the couch, leaning forward so his arms were braced on his forearms. "He has a fever?"

"Yeah," you choked out, running your hand through your hair, frowning when it got caught on a tangle.

"What was it?"

"100.6," you said.

"Well, that's not much of a fever," Tyler said.

"It is for a baby his age, and I can't give him any medication because he's too young," you said. "I think he has an ear infection, because he keeps pulling at his ear, and he had that cold, and I took him to the doctor and they said his ears were okay. But now he has a fever."

"Well, when did you take him to the doctor?"

You weren't sure, quite what days were anymore, because it felt like you'd been hold up with a sick baby for the past week, not knowing what was day or night. "It was that day, that you went to that concert, because you snapchatted me to ask me what shoes you should wear," you said.

"So, two days ago," Tyler said.

"Yeah," you said, "and he's barely eaten anything all day, and he won't sleep, and now he has a fever, and he's not supposed to have a fever."

"Okay, so what do we do?"

"Well, if a baby under three months has a fever higher than 100.6, then they're supposed to go to the doctor right away, or go to the E.R."

"Well, is the doctor's office open now?"

"No," you said, "I called, like, half an hour ago, and I hoped they were gonna call me back but they didn't."

"Well, then we'll take him to the hospital," Tyler said, standing up.

"But I don't want to take him to the hospital."

"I know, I don't want to either, babe, but this is what he needs," Tyler said. "Is he okay in what he's wearing, or does he need to get changed?"

"I think he's fine, I don't want to put too much on him," you said, "I don't know what to take though."

"Well, just him, and his diaper bag," Tyler said, scratching his head, both of you walking towards Bentley's room now, "I don't know, does he have a health card of some kind?"

"No," you said, going into the room and pulling Bentley from his crib, resting your cheek against his forehead. "I meant if we have to stay overnight."

You felt like you needed to go as fast as possible, but also it also felt like you needed to slow things down.

"Well, let's not get too ahead of ourselves."

"Tyler...."

"If you have to stay, I'll come home and get what you need," Tyler said, "but let's just focus on getting him there."

"Okay," you said.

"I'm so sorry you don't feel good, bud," Tyler said, rubbing his hand and then placing a kiss on your temple. "We're gonna figure out what's going on with you, 'k? You ready, Mama?"

"Yeah," you breathed, grabbing a couple more diapers to stick in the bag, walking to the front door to put Bentley in his car seat and put your shoes on.

To make matters worse, it was raining.

"I'll drive, then you can sit with him," Tyler said.

"Okay," you said, weakly, getting into the backseat with Bentley, tucking a light blanket around him.

"Awe, poor little guy," Tyler said, once he started to drive, and Bentley continued to cry, sticking his hand in the backseat, and you weren't sure if it was for you to hold or if he was trying to reach the baby. "We're gonna take you to the doctor, and they're gonna make you feel all better."

"Did you get the bag?" You asked, sitting up now.

"Yes, babe , I got the bag," Tyler laughed lightly.

It was all you could do, as you drove, though, to just watch Bentley, offering him his pacifier, and rubbing his hands, or running your hand over his head.

You tried a pediatric urgent care clinic first, only to be told that they weren't accepting any more patients tonight, and directing you to a pediatric E.R. You'd never seen Tyler look so angry, continuing to glare at the man who'd told you 'no' even as you turned to walk back to the car in the rain.

So, when you got to the E.R., the first thing you did was take Bentley out of his carseat, tucking a blanket around him, which Tyler then held up above his head so he wouldn't get rained on as you went inside.

You anxiety was lessened a bit when the nurse took his stats, and you learned that his oxygen levels, heard rate, and blood pressure were all normal, and his temperature had come down 0.2 degrees from when you'd taken it at home, but he was just still so sad.

The nurse said that you'd be seen next, since he was so little. But next turned out to mean over an hour of you trying to rock Bentley in the chair, as far away from anyone else waiting as possible because you didn't want him to get more sick, Tyler holding your hand or just resting his hand on your shoulder, his thumb moving back and forth, and Tyler giving dirty looks to anyone who seemed annoyed by the crying baby, his body moving around yours.

It turned out, it was like you though, a full-blown ear infection in one ear, and a mild one in the other, so, another hour later, you were driving to the pharmacy, a prescription for antibiotics clutched in your hand. Thankfully, though, Bentley had fallen asleep about five minutes after you'd gotten back in the car, even though he was still making little noises in his sleep.

"Do you want me to take you guys home, and then I can come back to pick up his prescription?" Tyler asked.

"Ummm..." you said, looking at your finally sleeping baby, albeit not peacefully, "I think I might have to do it, I'm not sure, I've never gotten a prescription filled for him before."

"Oh, right," Tyler said, the sound of the blinking turn signal sounding loud in the quiet now.

"He's on my insurance," you said, realizing that you were curving the corner of the prescription, and now attempted to smooth out any wrinkles.

"Yeah," Tyler said, pulling into the parking lot, and finding a parking spot. "You want me to stay in the car with him so you can run in?"

"Yes, please," you said, taking off your seatbelt. But you sat, unmoving, staring at the raindrops rolling down the window until there were teardrops rolling down your cheeks.

"What are you-?" Tyler said under his breath, and then he turned around fully, and you slowly met his eye. "Why are you crying?"

"It's just...he's sick," you said, "he's sick enough that he needs medicine."

"Yeah, well, that's okay, kids get sick a lot, you must've known he was gonna get sick."

"Yeah, but I didn't think it'd be so soon," you said, sucking in a breath, "and i didn't think it'd be my fault."

"What?" Tyler whispered, "it's not your fault. The doctor said lots of babies get ear infections, because of how their ear tubes are."

"Yeah, because they can't drain properly after they have a cold. And he caught a cold, because I've taken him out, shopping and I've taken him to mommy and me yoga, and he was around so many babies. And moms. He could have gotten sick from anyone there. Or from anywhere."

You could see Tyler chewing on his lip. "Well, did your doctor say you weren't supposed to take him out?"

"No, but-"

"Then you didn't do anything wrong, " Tyler said. "You can't just keep him cooped up either, that can't be good for him. He likes being out, and looking at new things."

"No, I know," you sighed, "I just didn't think I'd have to take him to the E.R. at 2 months old."

"Yeah, but, you know what, I bet there's a bunch of 3 month old babies who haven't even been to the E.R. yet, he's an overachiever baby" Tyler said. "We should have have taken a picture: Baby's first E.R. visit."

You laughed, just a little, running your hand over your face. "I'm not really sure I want to remember this day," you said. "Can you watch him,while I go get this?"

"Yes," Tyler laughed, although you weren't sure why.

When you came back, the light from his phone was illuminating his face, and you opened the passenger side, sliding in next to him, immediately leaning back into the backseat.

"He's still sleeping," Tyler said, setting his phone down, "I just checked on him."

"That's good," you said, smiling a little, running your hands up and down your sides. "It's gonna be half an hour."

"Well, why don't we take him home?" Tyler asked, "he's probably tired."

"Yeah," you said, reaching for your seatbelt and then leaning back.

"Can I pick up his medicine?"

"Umm...yeah, you could," you said, stifling a yawn. "They asked me when I set up his account, if it was alright if other people picked things up for him and I said that was fine."

"Okay, well, you want to go home, and I'll come back and get it?"

"Yeah," you said, "that'd be really helpful."

Tyler smiled, his hand settling on your knee, rubbing it every now and again, as you leaned agains the car door, holding your head up.

Bentley was still sleeping when you got home, so you very carefully carried his car seat into the bedroom,setting the carseat down, and then closing the door gently, padding back into the hall where Tyler was waiting.

"Thank you so much," you said, walking right into his arms. "I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here."

You felt his lips against the top of your head, his hand rubbing up and down your back. "You would have called your mom, or your sister, or Danielle, or my mom, or my sisters, or, maybe like your aunt or something, " Tyler said, "Or you would have just taken him yourself."

"I don't think I could have done that."

"Yeah, you could have," Tyler insisted. "You knew exactly what was wrong with him, and exactly what he needed. You would have made sure he had what he needed. But you're allowed to ask for help, too."

"I did."

"No, you don't," Tyler said, pulling against you. "If I'm here or if I offer, then sure. But you don't call me and say 'hey, my baby's been up all night, can you come hold him for a bit?' or 'hey, I could really use a hand with getting some groceries'. And people want to help you. But you have to let us."

You stepped back from him, taking a breath, and running your hand over your face again.

"You alright?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah," you said. "It's just been a really, really long week. I'm just, like, really emotional."

Tyler tilted his head at you, smiling softly, and then he pulled you back in to him. "You're such a good mom, though," he said, his hand going to your shoulders so he could look you in the eyes, his thumb coming up to wipe under your eye. "He doesn't even know what love is, but he knows he loves you."

You smiled softly, letting him hug you again. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he said. And you kind of just wanted to stay there forever, in his arms, except you could hear Bentley start to fuss, like a sixth sense, and you padded into your bedroom to pull him out of his carseat before he got really upset, holding him to you, your hand instinctively feeling his forehead. "Shhh..." you soothed, bouncing him as you walked over to the glider, and then you kept your hand steady on his back as you started to rock. "He just wants to be held," you said, kissing the top of his head.

"Well, he should get as many cuddles as he wants," Tyler said, running his hand over Bentley's head, and placing a kiss there, and then doing the same with you. "I'm gonna go get his medicine. Do you need anything from the store?"

"No, I don't think," you said, and Tyler gave you a stern look, and then you tried to think back over your day in your head, knowing there was something you needed. "Oh, I need almond milk. For my coffee."

"Okay. Anything else? Diapers?"

"No, I have lots," you said. "Actually, can you get me the chocolate almond milk, please?"

"Yes," Tyler laughed, standing there still, shifting his weight back and forth, flipping the keys in his hand. "So, I'm just gonna go to the drug store, and then I'm gonna go to my house and pick up the dogs, and then I'll be back."

"Okay," you said, kissing Bentley again, "Wait, why are you getting the dogs?"

"Because I can't leave them home alone overnight," Tyler laughed.

"You're staying?"

"Mhmm..." Tyler said, like it was already decided.

"I feel better now, Tyler, you don't have to stay."

"Remember this talk we just had about you needing to accept help?" he asked, smiling softly.

"Yes," you said, smiling now too, "But if he's up in the night, then he's gonna want to eat, and you can't really...do anything there, to take care of him." There was no sense in both of you being tired, and maybe Tyler could just come back tomorrow.

"But I can take care of you," he said simply, looking at you for just a moment. "How about bottles?"

"Bottles?" you asked.

"For him," Tyler said, pointing at the baby, "I could give him a bottle, if you showed me how."

"Oh," you said, "Yeah, I haven't given him a bottle yet, and I don't really want to introduce that right now."

"Why not?"

"Well, I don't even know if he'll take it, and I also don't want him to get nipple confusion."

"What is nipple confusion?" Tyler laughed.

"When you give them other things, like pacifiers and bottles, and they get confused and forget how to breastfeed," you said.

"Oh," Tyler laughed again, "That sounded more exciting than it is."

"And he's been having a hard time eating lately, and I don't know if it's because he has a pacifier or what, but I just don't want him to stop breastfeeding."

"Okay, so I'll go get this, and the dogs, and I'll be back," Tyler said, smiling, "I have a key to your place, and three huge dogs, you couldn't keep us out if you wanted to."

"Okay," you laughed,

"You guys need anything before I go?"

"Can you turn on the nature sounds on his basinette?" you asked, and then pointed at the nightstand, which was just a complete mess, you noticed, filled with half-dranken drinks and empty snack wrappers, "And turn the diffuser on? I have stuff in there that's supposed to help with congestion for him. Thank you."

"I'll be right back," he promised, and you continued to rock Bentley while he was gone. It didn't seem like very long before you heard your front door open, and the sound of paws throughout the house, and it sounded like Tyler was going into the kitchen to put the milk away. "We have to be really, really quiet, guys," you heard Tyler say in a soft voice, "He might be sleeping and he's not feeling very good, so I need you guys to be good."

You smiled, and it wasn't very long before your bedroom door flung open, all three dogs coming in panting. "K, on the bed," Tyler said, trailing in after them and patting the mattress. They tried to sniff a bit, but did jump up, probably sensing the energy in the room, and Tyler smiled, kissing them all. "Good boys."

Tyler came around, leaning over to where Bentley was laying against your chest. "Is he sleeping?" you asked.

"No, his eyes are open, but he looks really, really sleepy," Tyler said, holding up the bag. "Do you want to give this to him now?"

"I don't know, how often is he supposed to have it?"

"Every 12 hours," Tyler said, "I also got some baby probiotics for him, because the pharmacist said it'd help his tummy when he's on antibiotics."

"Well, when does he get those?" you asked.

"Umm..." Tyler said, opening the bag and looking at the box. "It says 2 to 3 hours before or after antibiotics, put it on his pacifier, or with formula or breast milk."

You rolled your eyes at Tyler laughing as he said 'breast'.

"Okay, so let's give him the antibiotics now, and then just put the probiotics here, and I'll give them to him when he eats next."

"Okay," Tyler said, taking out the oral syringe and then medication. "Do you want me to do this?"

"Did you wash your hands?" you asked.

"Yeah, I did when I got back from the store."

"Okay," you said, "Do you know how to do the dosage and stuff?"

"Yeah, it's like when I did your shots," Tyler said, "Except no needles."

Still, he let you double check the dosage, before he crouched down, putting it in Bentley's mouth. "Squirt it towards the side of his mouth so it's harder for him to spit back out," you said.

"Okay," Tyler said, his eyes focused as he did so, and Bentley just kind of coughed a little and made a face, but managed to get most of it down before he started crying again, and you watched all three dogs lift their heads up, staring at you, Gerry starting to whine, but he didn't make a move to jump off the bed.

"Oh," you said, rubbing his back. "It's okay, that's gonna help you feel better."

"He's like 'what is this? This is not my milk,'" Tyler said.

You laughed, "I tried to give him milk, but he took like two sips and then he didn't want anymore."

"Well, maybe he's not hungry."

"I know," you said, "But I wanted him to have fluids. He hasn't had anything for, like, 6 hours."

"Yes, he has," Tyler said, "You fed him in the car, after we left the hospital."

"I did?" you asked.

"Yes," Tyler laughed, "I don't know how much he had, but he had something. I think maybe he just might want to sleep now, he's tired."

"Yeah," you said, looking down at him, "I just want to sit up with him for a bit, and make sure he doesn't have an allergic reaction. You're not allergic to any antibiotics, right?"

"No," Tyler said, smirking at you. "The doctor asked us that, at the hospital."

"He did?" you asked.

"Yes," Tyler smiled, his hand smoothing over your head. "You're exhausted, babe. Do you want me to put him in his bed?"

"No," you said. "I can't sleep right now, anyways. We can watch T.V., if you want."

"'K," Tyler said, "Grey's?"

You shook your head. "I don't think I can handle that right now."

"Okay," Tyler said, grabbing your remote and getting on your bed, sitting on top of the blankets with the dogs. "Let's watch something funny. Oh, we can watch that house show you liked."

"Okay," you said. Even though you were really just barely watching, your eyes heavy as you rocked your baby, kissing him, and just feeling grateful that it wasn't worse. You felt chilled, too, and you realized that you'd probably been cold the whole evening, and yet hadn't realized it, your eyes watering, not from emotion, but more so because you were just so wholly exhausted, emotionally and physically.

"Tyler?" you asked, after it was after 1, and you'd been sitting up with Bentley for over and hour and nothing had changed, other than the fact that he'd fallen asleep on you. "Could you bring in his swing from the living room? I want to see if he'd sleep better like that, if he's on an incline, it might make his ear hurt less?"

"Yeah, sure," Tyler said. And once he did, you just stood up with Bentley slowly, very carefully setting him in his swing.

"Shh...." you said when he stirred a little, and you kept crouched in front of him until he seemed to settle, and then you smiled at Tyler, backing away slowly and looking for your pajamas where you'd left them on the floor. You changed, in the dim light, realizing that Tyler hadn't seem you naked since you'd given birth, but you didn't care anymore.

This was just your life now.

You just wanted it all out there, and you didn't want to play pretend anymore.

This was you.

You turned around, once you'd changed and you saw that he'd followed suit in getting ready for bed, his shirt gone, and you frowned, taking a step forward, your eyes focused on those very familiar numbers on his torso, opposite his Stanley cup tattoo, and that name, you'd chosen for your son, in cursive above.

"Is that his birth date?" you asked.

"Well, I hope so," Tyler laughed. "Someone really screwed up if it isn't."

"No, no, it's right," you said, stepping forward still, your hand extended as if you wanted to touch it.

"You didn't see it before until now?" Tyler asked, "I've had it the whole time I've been home."

"Really?" you asked, kneeling on the side of the bed so you could run your finger over it now.

"Yeah, I got it after the playoffs," he said, and you stood back up.

"Wha - why?" you asked dumbly.

"Because he's always gonna be a part of me," Tyler answered, matter-of-factly.

"Really?" you asked with your whole heart.

"Yeah, of course," Tyler smiled at you. "C'mon, boys, move over, let Mama in."

You managed to wiggle your way in, curled up, but it didn't really matter, laying on your side so you could still see Bentley sleeping, and you felt the warmth of Tyler behind you. You smiled, reaching your hand back to find Tyler's and you threaded your fingers through his, wrapping his arm around you, and you felt him move closer, his lips pressed against the back of your head.

You just needed to know he was there, with you, too.


	56. Chapter 56

You wished you could say you slept better, but you just didn't.

It wasn't so much that Bentley was having trouble, because you couldn't even sleep when he was sleeping soundly, feeling like you had to be watching him at all times. Even though, as you constantly reassured yourself, he had the monitor on he wore every night when he slept, so you'd be alerted if his oxygen levels or heart rate dropped to low. But, still, you found yourself watching it, making sure that he was okay.

Even when he was sleeping, he didn't really seem like he was sleeping soundly, making little noises in his sleep, and moving around, more than he usually ever did. But you also usually had him swaddled when he slept at night, and you found yourself just not wanting to take your eyes off him for too long.

You didn't feel as anxious as you did before, not with Tyler and the dogs surrounding you, but you still had a hard time not listening for every little noise he might make.

So, when he started crying, it really didn't take you anytime to open your eyes and sit up, pulling him from your swing and into your arms. "Shhh..." you soothed, running your finger over his forehead and his cheeks, as you felt Tyler shift behind you, his hand on your arm and then coming up to cup your shoulder. But you were just trying to focus on interpreting your baby's movements and reactions. And he seemed in pain.

"I think I want to give him Tylenol," you said. "Like the doctor said that we could."

"Okay," Tyler said, kneeling up on the bed and then crawling around you, and then standing up.

"In my bathroom, there's a little bag on the counter," you said, "Can you get the thermometer and the Tylenol out of it, please? And the Vaseline. Or just bring the whole bag."

Tyler, who had looked like he was about to go out of the room, instead went back into your en suite.

"Okay," you said, laying Bentley down on the bed, and starting to unfastened the buttons around his legs, grabbing an extra diaper for after. "I know, baby, just a minute."

Tyler set the bag down on the bed next to you, and you grabbed the thermometer and Vaseline, undoing his diaper before you sanitized your hands with the sanitizer you kept on the nightstand and then prepared the thermometer.

"Can you guys get off the bed for one minute?" you asked the dogs, "Good boys."

"What are you doing to him?" Tyler asked in alarm.

"Taking his temperature," you said.

"In his butthole?"

"Yeah, that's how you have to do it for newborns. It's not the way I want to do it." you said, "Can you like hold him down a little? He really doesn't like it."

"Well, I don't blame him," Tyler said, his large hand splayed against Bentley's chest, moving back and forth to soothe him as you took his temperature. "Okay, you're all done, bud. It's okay."

"It came down a bit," you said in relief. He still had a low-grade fever, but at least it was moving in the right direction, and now you felt comfortable putting his diaper back on, and swaddling him up in the lightweight blanket he usually slept in, which was a little bit of a struggle because he was crying so much. And it broke your heart, and you felt like you could handle hours of listening to his overtired cries rather than him crying out in pain for one minute.

"How did you even do that by yourself before?" Tyler asked.

You shrugged. "I don't know, I just did. I had to."

Once he was all swaddled up, you picked him up, sitting back on the bed, because you felt too tired to stand or go to his rocker. "I know, your ear hurts a lot right now, huh?" you asked.

"Do you want me to give him the medicine and you hold him like we did before?"

"Yeah, I think so," you said, "You just give him 0.8, right? Not what a three month old would get."

"Yeah," Tyler said, showing it to you before he crawled back on the bed to give it to Bentley. "Oh, this one is white grape, maybe you'll like it better."

8

You held him steady as Tyler gave his the dosage, Bentley's entire face scrunching up as he coughed again, crying at the same time.

"Maybe not," Tyler said, crawling off the bed to put everything away.

"I don't think he likes anything right now," you said, making a sad face, and then you smiled a little, looking at the dogs standing on the floor, swaying back and forth and blinking like they were half asleep, and you patted the bed, pulling your knees to your chest. "You guys can come back up."

You made sure to note the time you'd given him medicine, leaning over to look at him. "Do you want to try to eat?" You asked, and he let out another cry, and you pulled him up to lean against your chest, frowning as you ran your fingers over your head and tried to think, looking at Tyler, who was just standing there kind of helplessly. "Could you maybe run a cloth under warm water so I could hold it on his ear? See if it helps? His washcloths are in the drawer on the vanity."

You kept running your hand over his head and back while you waited, stretching your legs out until your bare feet met fur.

"Is this too hot?" Tyler asked, handing you the cloth.

"No, it's perfect," you said, taking it from him and gently settling it on Bentley's ear, checking his reaction.

"Do you want one for his other ear?"

"No," you said, tilting your head, "he's laying on it, I think it's just this one that is really bothering him."

"'K," Tyler said, crawling over your legs and then propping his head up in his hand, Bentley's pacifier in his hand. "You want this?" He asked, moving it towards Bentley's mouth, but he only pulled away. "No? Not right now? Okay."

"I think it might hurt his ears for him to suck on stuff or they pop because that's what he was doing when I tried to feed him."

"Oh," Tyler said softly.

"I'm guessing, I don't really know," you said, pulling the cloth away from his ear and checking his skin wasn't too warm before you put it back on, "I'll just try anything."

"Yeah," Tyler said, his body curving around yoi even more, his hand coming to settle on Bentley's back, rubbing it like you had been until you had to hold the cloth in place.

You took a deep breath, and then Gerry cried few times, joining Bentley.

"It's okay, Ger," Tyler said, lifting up for a moment to rub Gerry's ears, and then you watched him look over the bed, blinking, his hand resting on your leg. "Are the dogs bothering you? I only brought them in here because I didn't want them to get into his stuff. But I could put his toys and stuff in his room. Or I could call my mom -"

"They're not bothering me," you said.

"Cash is laying on top of your legs," Tyler frowned.

"I know, I like it."

"You like not being able to feel your feet?" Tyler laughed.

"He's keeping me warm," you smiled, wiggling your toes a little.

"Okay then," Tyler said, moving back to his previous position, his hand moving back to the crying baby.

"This sucks," you said.

"Oh, it sucks horribly," Tyler agreed. "His medicine should kick in a bit though, and hopefully that'll give him a bit of relief."

"I hope so," you said. You weren't sure entirely how long you'd stayed like that, you leaning upright against the pillows, and Tyler propped up, just rubbing Bentley's back as he cried and fussed. You were vaguely aware of the television still on in the background, like an endless loop repeating itself, yet you couldn't be bothered to get up and turn it off, your eyelids slowly closing, because you couldn't fight to keep them open any longer.

"You are so tired," you heard Tyler mumble. "You can close your eyes and rest, it's okay, Mama's got you."

You smiled, letting your head sink back into the pillows, your neck relaxing.

"You were so brave today though," Tyler continued. "Yeah, it's okay to cry, it doesn't mean you're not brave. You're gonna feel better soon, I bet."

You felt him shift, pulling the blanket up around Bentley's shoulder.

"What are we gonna do with your ear, huh?" Tyler asked, "Are we gonna have to cut it off and get you a new one?"

You felt yourself give into your drowsiness, the warm weight on top of you helping you lull off.

"Babe," you heard Tyler whisper, it a different voice than he was using before. "Do you want me to take him and put him in his bed?"

You nodded, feeling Tyler get up, lifting the baby off of you. "Not in his room, right here," you said.

"Yeah, yeah, of course," Tyler whispered, "You want him in his bed, or in his swing?"

"His basinette because he's swaddled," you said, "Make sure there's nothing in there but him."

"'K," Tyler said, and you kept your eyes closed, feeling him move around, your arm reaching out for him to come back.

"Is he sleeping?" you asked, when you Tyler's weight back on the bed.

"Yeah," Tyler said, pulling you to his chest. "He's okay, he's just getting some rest."

"'K," you yawned.

The next time you woke was with a start, your body somehow realizing that it had been four hours since Bentley had been put down, jumping up to look at him, your heart rate calming as you rest your hand on your son's chest, feeling the rise and fall of his peaceful breaths.

"What is wrong?" Tyler asked, sitting up now.

"Nothing," you smiled, swinging your legs back into bed. "He just usually doesn't sleep this long."

"I think he needed sleep," Tyler said, pulling you back into him.

"Me too," you said, letting yourself rest again.

The next time you woke up, it was because he was crying in a way that you recognized, and you pulled him into bed with you so that he could feed him.

"Is he eating?" Tyler mumbled from beside you.

"Yeah," you whispered back, smiling, reaching for the the water bottle you'd kept on the nightstand.

"Do you need me to do anything?" Tyler asked, and you shook your head. "Want me to get that warm cloth again to put on his ear again?"

"It can't hurt, while he's awake," you said, leaning your head back against the pillow again as he ate. It wasn't until you started nodding off that you realized that Bentley wasn't eating like he was anymore, and you snickered. "He fell asleep."

"Is your boob still in his mouth?"

"Yes."

"That's my favourite way to sleep, too," Tyler said, and then immediately started laughing at himself.

"Do you know where his pacifier is?"

"Oh, yeah," Tyler said, still laughing as he rolled away from you, grabbing it off the nightstand, and making the switch, and then putting him back in his basinette, rolling over and falling back asleep yourself, even as he asked you if he could have your boob to help him fall asleep.

From about 6 A.M. on was rough again, with both you and Tyler having to take turns walking with Bentley throughout the house. You'd showered, too, way too early in the morning, putting Bentley in his bouncer in the bathroom with you because he sounded stuffed up again, and you still felt dirty from the hospital and the last week, pretty sure that your hair was about 90% dry shampoo. But, you'd given him his second dose of Tylenol at around 9, and now you were trying to feed him while Tyler took the dogs out.

"What is this?" Tyler asked, when he'd come back inside, and you were now trying to help Bentley to relax and hopefully get some more sleep, and you squinted at the piece of what looked like cotton in his hand, half chewed up.

"I think it's a breast pad," you said.

"Is there more of it?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Oh, thank god," Tyler said, "I thought it was part of a diaper or something and there was more of it destroyed somewhere."

"No, he couldn't be able to get into the trash cans."

"I think you might underestimate him," Tyler said, running his hand through his hair. "Do the dogs have food here still?"

"Yeah, it's in the laundry room," you said, reaching for Bentley's pacifier, and then you stopped when you heard some type of alarm. "What is that?"

"It's my alarm," Tyler sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, and then looking towards the door. "I'm supposed to go work out."

"Oh okay," you said, moving the pacifier towards Bentley's mouth now.

"Are you gonna be okay?" he asked. "Tomorrow's my day off, so I can just hang around with you guys."

"Yeah," you smiled softly. "I'll be fine."

"I put some coffee on, you want me to bring you something to eat?" He asked, and you nodded. "What do you want?"

"Umm..." you said, running your hand over Bentley's head, "Count Chocula."

"Oh," Tyler grinned, "So look who's happy now about my cereal selection."

"It's the only one I've eaten," you laughed, Gerry coming into the room and circling around now.

"Are you hungry?" Tyler asked, "'K, c'mon."

When he was gone, you got up, setting the Dockatot in the bed, and setting Bentley inside, rubbing his arms and leaning over, talking to him as you tucked his blanket over him.

"One bowl of chocolate cereal with coffee with chocolate milk," Tyler said, pushing some things aside on your nightstand to set the items down.

"Thank you," you smiled appreciatively , and then Marshall jumped up on the bed, walking straight between your legs and nuzzling his head into your arm and hand, laying down once you started petting him.

"I see you've still been eating the Lemonade sour patch kids," Tyler laughed, grabbing some of the empty wrappers you'd had on the nightstand, along with some glasses.

"I have to pace them out," you said.

"I'll buy you some more when I go back to Dallas," Tyler said, and you grinned, Tyler looking down at where you were petting Marshall. "Are you alright if they stay, or you want me to take them home?"

"They can stay," you said, as the other dogs joined you on the bed, and Tyler smiled.

"You want me to call someone to come help you?"

"No, he's just resting right now," you said, smiling over at him as your grabbed your bowl of cereal and the remote. "I'm just gonna hang out in bed. I might call my mom and talk to her for a bit."

"Yeah, you should do that," Tyler smiled. And then he stood there, before coming over towards you, and it felt strange, because it felt like he should be kissing you goodbye, casually, like he was just heading out for work. Which, he kind of did, settling for pressing his lips to the top of your forehead, and then opening and closing his hand in a wave towards Bentley. "I'll be home in a couple hours."

You had a little bit of your cereal, and then reached for your phone, wanting to talk to your mom before she got to work.

"Hi," she answered, "You're calling early."

"Yeah," you said, wearily, not knowing how to quite put the last 24 hours into words.

"You sound tired," she commented. "Is his cold still bugging him? I can come over, after work, if you want."

"No, it's not his cold," you said, gulping past the lump in your throat. "He has an ear infection."

"Oh, sweetheart," your mom said, in a tone that broke your heart, and made you want to start crying all over again.

"Yeah, he just started getting a fever last night," you said, running your hand over your face. "Tyler and I had to take him to the E.R."

You realized, then, that probably it was your mom who should have been your first thought of who to call. But it wasn't.

"Awe, well I'm glad he was able to go with you," she said. "Do you guys need me to bring you anything?"

Like she'd just known that he'd stayed the night, without you even telling her.

"No," you said. "He has to just take antibiotics for ten days. And we had to give him Tylenol. I didn't think he could even have Tylenol until he was 3 months, but the doctor said he could have a bit, and then I didn't really know if I wanted to give him any, because he just seems too little."

"Yeah," your mom said, dragging out the word, "He might just need it, though, until his ear starts feeling better. The antibiotics should help soon."

"I hope so," you said, because he just seemed kind of sad and out of it, not like he usually was, and it just...it really just sucked, you thought, running your hand over your face. "I freaked out so bad."

"Yeah, well of course you did," she said, her voice even with understanding. "It's really hard when they can't tell you how they feel. And he's still really, really little, he's still figuring out how to be in the world. He'll get better though."

"I know," you said, looking over at him, "I probably should have given him Tylenol sooner though. He's sleeping better now that he's had it."

"Well, you don't know, you just have to trust your gut," she said.

"I just feel bad for him."

"Well, if it was so bad that he was inconsolable, you never would have left the hospital," she said. "He won't even remember it, you're gonna be the one who is traumatized."

"Oh my god," you said, "I was like ' It's all my fault he is sick, I am such a horrible mother'."

"Yeah, that's kind of what being a mom is," she said, "When you were, I guess a little bit older than him, I swore you had a fever, you felt so warm, I used one of those ear thermometers and it said 101 so I rushed you to the doctor's office, only to find out that I'd just dressed you in too many clothes and that ear thermometers aren't accurate on babies."

"What, really?"

"Yes," she laughed, "At least he was actually sick and you didn't look like a crazy overprotective mother."

"No, I'm pretty sure I still did," you said.

"Well, that's normal," she said, "What's he doing right now? Has Tyler got him?"'

"No, Tyler had to go to the gym for a bit, then he'll be back," you said, "Bentley's sleeping in bed with me and the dogs."

"Well, you should get some rest while he's sleeping," she said.

"I am," you said. "I'm just hanging out until I have to give him his antibiotics again."

"Oh, do you have probiotics for him? With his tummy."

"Tyler got him some last night," you said.

"Is he still stuffy?"

"A little bit," you said, "I had him in the bathroom earlier with the shower running and now he seems like he's breathing better. I think it's mostly just his ear."

"Poor baby," she said. "And poor mama."

"I know," you said, rolling onto your side and looking at your sleeping baby. And then, before you could stop yourself, you said. "Tyler got a tattoo for him."

"He did?"

"Yeah, his name and his birthday," you said, smiling still.

"That's so special."

You could almost hear your mom smiling through the phone, and you just had visions of telling her that Tyler had told you he loved you, and that you were getting married, or having another baby.

"I think you picked a pretty good guy to have a baby with," she said.

"I think I did," you said. Even though it felt scary and unusual to do it the way you had, and you didn't even really know what Bentley's life would look like. But neither did your mom, really, not when she thought she had a little family, with two kids and a husband, and then she ended up doing it all on her own. You never really knew.

"Like I said, you just gotta trust your gut," she said, "I'll let you go though, so you can get some rest. Give Bentley kisses for me."

"I will," you said "I love you, Mom."

All of you were pretty much in the exact same position when Tyler got back, coming quietly into the room. "I brought you one of those mango smoothies you like," Tyler said softly, handing it to you.

"Thank you," you said. You'd been contemplating getting up to get something else to eat for awhile but, for now, you'd just kind of been content laying there, listening to your baby's muffled little breaths.

"How's it been going?" Tyler asked.

"He's just been sleeping," you said, "I don't even care if he's up all night tonight, he can sleep all day if he wants. I've also decided that I'm staying in my pajamas all day today."

"Well, yeah, you should," Tyler said, "I'm just gonna shower really quick, I don't want to get too close to him in case I picked up germs or something."

"Okay," you said, rolling back over onto your side, finishing what you were doing on your phone. When Tyler came out, you rolled onto your back, smiling. "I just bought so much stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" he laughed, he stretched out across the foot of the bed.

"Clothes for him, like, look I just ordered this onesie, and it says 'The Snuggle is Real'", you said, showing your phone to him and then you set it down on the bed. "I may have gotten a little bit carried away."

Tyler laughed, stretching out even more, petting the dogs. "I don't know, you look pretty happy about it, I'd say it was worth it."

"I bought him shorts," you said, "Baby shorts. And these striped little rompers, but they're like little tank tops and shorts. And all the shorts I bought him are so short."

Tyler giggled at you. "Well, his legs aren't very long, so I'd hope they're short."

"No, his legs are long," you said, "That's what I was looking for, he needed new sleepers because when he stretches his legs out they're too tight."

"Well, did you buy any of those or did you get distracted?"

"No, I did," you said, "I found these sleepers that are open at the bottom so you can tie them up, so they might fit him longer. And I got him just a regular sleeper that has breakfast foods all over it, there's like avocados and eggs and donuts."

Tyler seemed incredibly amused by how excited you were about this. "So was that it then?"

"No, I got him some more of those bandana bibs, with fish on them, and mountains, and bears. And I got him a little baseball hat that looks like a shark," you said, "And a few books, one of them is this black and white one that's supposed to be really interesting for babies his age."

"You really got in some retail therapy then, huh?" Tyler asked.

"A little bit," you said. "But I also didn't really have any bottoms for him for the summer, and he's almost outgrown all of his pajamas. And I really want to start doing a bedtime routine with him, and read to him each night. He's got lots of books, but there were ones that I wanted to get for him, like 'Where the Wild Things Are' and 'The Rainbow Fish', I just haven't gotten around to it yet. When he's better though, now he can do whatever he wants."

"Yeah," Tyler said, leaning onto his stomach and you could see that Bentley's eyes were starting to blink open now, "Are you having a sick day? Did your mom let you stay home from school?"

He looked at Tyler for a moment and then started to cry.

"Oh," you laughed, picking him up, and pulling him to you, where he quietened pretty much immediately.

"Sorry, buddy," Tyler said, "I didn't realize you liked school so much."

You laughed, standing up with him, "Should we get out of bed, are you getting bored of laying there?" you asked. "Want to come help Mommy make some avocado toast?"

"Do you want me to bring his swing back out there?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, sure," you said, grabbing your smoothie with your other hand and walking towards the kitchen, "Oh, it's pouring rain."

"Oh yeah," Tyler said, "If he has to be sick, then he picked a pretty good day for it."

"Yeah," you said, "Can you hear the rain, baby?" you asked, walking into the kitchen where you just kind of stopped. "What is on the table, Tyler?"

"It's a turtle," he said, "It projects like waves onto the ceiling, and it's got music and ocean noises and stuff. It's supposed to relax them and put them to sleep, but I thought he just might looking at it. He doesn't already have it already, does he?"

"No, he doesn't have it," you said, reading over the package, "When did you get it?"

"Well, I had to wait for a bit to pick up his prescription and I saw it in the window of the toy store and it reminded me of him, and then I went back and got it today," Tyler said, looking at your face, "He needs a gift, he's sick. And there's not a lot of gifts for a zero year old."

"Okay," you said, "But you can't buy him a gift every time he's sick, you know?"

"No, I know," Tyler said, and then seemed to think about this for a moment. "How about just every time he has to go to the E.R.?"

"Yeah," you said, after you considered it, "Yeah, that'd be okay. Did you buy him two different kinds of infant Tylenol, too?"

"I didn't know if he liked cherry flavour or grape flavour," Tyler said, "I didn't know you had some already so I just grabbed it when I was at the drug store last night in case you wanted it for him. Is that alright?"

"Yes," you said, laughing a little. "I'm sure we'll use it eventually. Thank you."

And then it felt a little awkward, just standing in your kitchen, staring at each other. It wasn't until Gerry stepped on your foot that you seemed to get your head back together. "Oh, we've got something for you, too," you said, shifting a little towards Tyler, "Do you want to hold him for a second so I can go get it?"

You let Tyler take him and then went to get the distressed blue and white wood sign you'd stashed, still in its bag in your living room, that had "Life is Better at the Lake" written across it in cursive. "You know how you mentioned that you wanted to something behind that chair in your living room," you said, "And I saw this and thought it might work. But we can take it back if it doesn't."

"Oh no, that's awesome," Tyler said. "I'm sure it'll work."

"Well, try it," you said.

"Okay, fine," Tyler grinned, "I really do like it though. I wasn't expecting you to go shopping for me, but maybe I should mention whenever I need home decorating help."

"Well, I wasn't shopping for you," you smiled, going to get yourself some bread out of the drawer. "We were just shopping and and I saw it and thought of you."

"Oh, did you help Mommy pick that out?" Tyler asked Bentley in his arms. "Is it you who has the good taste? I don't know, the clothes she picked out for you looked pretty cool to me."

You smiled, watching as Tyler shifting Bentley im his arms so his back was against Tyler's chest, his arm going under his legs. "Oh, his diaper looks really wet, I should change him."

"I can do it," Tyler said, hugging Bentley to his chest. "Wet diapers are my favourite type of diapers to change."

"Okay," you said, continuing to get all of the ingredients you needed out of the fridge, and then you paused when you were putting the bread into the toaster oven, following where Tyler had gone with Bentley into his room, leaning in the door. "Do you want avocado toast?"

"Avocado toast?" he blinked, looking over from where he already had Bentley laying down on the changing bad, "No, I'm not a white girl."

"It's good," you said, even though he still had his face scrunched up. "Do you want me to make you something else?"

"Nah, I'm good," Tyler said, "I already ate."

"'K," you said, your eyes catching sight of the laundry basket in the corner of the room, "Can you remind me to throw his laundry in later? I think all of his P.J.'s are dirty."

"Mhmm..." Tyler said, and you went back into the kitchen, hearing Tyler come into the living room a moment later, coming in with your snack, and you saw that he had Netflix pulled up, Bentley laying against him. "We are picking out a movie to watch on his sick day."

"Awe," you said, taking a look at the screen and then laughing. "It doesn't have to be a kid's movie."

"He says he would like to watch Cars 3 first," Tyler grinned.

"Oh, did he?" you asked, folding your legs up under you, "I didn't realize he had seen the first two."

"I think he hacked into my Amazon Prime," Tyler said.

"Oh, are there Pixar movies on there?" you asked.

"Yeah," Tyler said, like you were silly for not knowing, "I mean, I don't know, I would have to check. But I would think so."

You laughed at him grinning sheepishly at you, and then said, "I really want to watch Finding Nemo with him. And Monster's Inc."

"What about Toy Story?" Tyler asked, "1, 2, and 3?"

"Those too," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"Well, we've got a whole day where we just have to sit on the couch and watch movies," he said, and then he raised his eyebrow because Gerry was running around, chasing a tennis ball on the floor, while Marshall and Cash were just sleeping curled up on the bean bag chair in the corner of the room. "You're kind of ruining the sick day vibes, Ger."

"How does he have so much energy?" you asked, and Tyler just shrugged.

"He's young," Tyler said, and then both of you were caught by surprise as Gerry just jumped up onto the couch with his ball, laying down and continuing to chew on it. "How is your basic bitch toast?"

"My basic bitch toast is great, thanks," you said, and Tyler laughed, and then you broke off a little bit and extended it towards his lips. "Try it."

"I don't like it," he said.

"You like toast and avocado and lemon juice and salt," you said.

"You put salt on it?" he asked, his face scrunched up again.

"Yes, just try it," you said, letting him take it from you and then watching his face with satisfaction as his face told you that he didn't think it was bad. "You're such a picky eater."

"You put weird shit on your food sometimes," he said.

"Weird shit that you like," you challenged.

"It's still weird," he said, and you shook your head at him.

You managed to get most of your toast eaten before Bentley started fussing again, and Tyler got up, trying to rock around with him a little. "I think he might just want you," Tyler said, and you took him, settling him against your chest and bouncing him a little, and he started to quiet a little bit, so you got your baby wrap, putting it on so he could be help up close to you.

"He wants his mom," Tyler said, rubbing his hand over Bentley's back. "Nothing makes you feel better when you're sick like your mom does, huh?"

You'd moved on to A Land Before Time when the dogs started barking at something outside and then you went into the other room, not wanting to upset Bentley again, and then you heard Tyler open your front door, followed by your mother's voice.

You didn't even have to check the time to know that she'd come on her lunch break.

"Hey, Mom," you said, getting past the barrage of wagging tails.

"I brought you guys Udon noodle soup," she said. "And some things from the drug store."

"Awe, thanks mom," you said.

"Yeah, thanks mom," Tyler smiled, taking the bag from her hand and setting it down on the table in your entry way.

"You can come in," you laughed.

"She doesn't want to come in," Tyler said.

"What? Why not?" you laughed.

"Because you need to be resting," she said. "And I don't want to bring germs to Bentley."

"Well, you don't have to get near him," you said.

"I'll come in if you need me to do something, otherwise I'm not coming in," she said, even as she started reaching into the bag to show you she'd brought you. "Now I know —"

"You can at least step inside," you said, and Tyler just laughed at you both, but she did step inside.

"Now, I know you said he's not as stuffy as before, but I got him some vapour bath and some vapour rub for his little chest, and some saline spray for his nose," she said, "and a little hot and cold pack for his ear."

"Awe, it's a frog."

"Yeah," she smiled, "You might have to put a towel over it for him, but you just stick in the microwave."

"Yeah, Y/N was putting warm cloths on it last night, and it seemed to help," Tyler said, running his hand over Bentley's head.

"This'll probably stay warm for longer," you said.

"How's his fever?" she asked.

"Better," you said, "It might be gone, I haven't taken it in awhile. He's gonna need to take more Tylenol soon and he's feeling kind of uncomfortable again, so I don't want to bug him."

"Well, call me if you need any help," she said, giving you a kiss and blowing one to Bentley before she left.

"I feel like I'm eating like I'm the one whose sick," you said, awhile later, after you'd let your soup cool off a bit, and now you were eating very carefully with Bentley still held to you, because he didn't seem to be very happy anytime you tried to put him down.

"Well, you kind of are," Tyler said.

"No, I'm not," you laughed.

Tyler gave you a serious look. "I'm pretty sure that this is harder on you that it is on him."

"That's kind of what my mom said," you said, smiling a little.

"Well, your mom's smart, you should listen to her," Tyler said, "Also, he's not allowed to eat soup and smoothies so you have to do it for him."

"How does that help him?" you laughed.

"He gets it in your milk," Tyler said, "It's probably gonna be all chocolate-y with all that chocolate you ate for breakfast."

You looked at him, his face completely serious, and you frowned. "That's not exactly how it works, you know."

"I know, it was a joke," he said, and then started laughing, "You do sound a little bit congested though, are you sure you're not sick?"

"Yeah, my throat was a little sore for a couple of days but it's better now," you said, "I just cried a lot yesterday, I think that's why my voice sounds a bit weird."

"Babe," Tyler said sympathetically, tilting his head at you.

"I thought you said it was okay to cry, it didn't mean you weren't brave."

"You were listening?"

"Mhmm..." you smiled.

"What, you can hear in your sleep now?" Tyler asked. "Is that like a Mom thing, too, you got eyes on the back of your head?"

"I guess.."

"Well, use them to spy on your own kid not me," Tyler said. "You could have called me sooner, though. You should have."

"I still would have cried if you were here," you said.

"Yeah, I know. But next time call me sooner," he said, reaching for your hand. "Please?"

"Well, I didn't want to bother you, I didn't know what you were doing, or –"

Tyler shrugged, like it was no big deal. "I was five minutes away, it doesn't matter what I was doing."

"Yeah, but it's not, you can't just come anytime, I mean..."

"Babe," Tyler said, looking seriously at your eyes now. "I caught a flight and flew in from a different country because you were having him. So, yeah, I'm always gonna come for you."

"You can't just say that, Tyler..."

"Yeah, I can," he said. "It's true.. why can't I say it?"

"Because it's not..."

He shrugged again, and then he cracked a smile. "Okay, so I might not always be able to be here in, like, two minutes," he said. "But I'll still always come back for you."

You didn't know what to say, so you just focused on rubbing your hand up and down your fussy baby's back.

"Can he have more Tylenol now?" Tyler asked, leaning over until you nodded, and then he got up, going to get it. "Here you go, bud, this'll help."

You took him out of his wrap when he started to cry more, walking with him as you bounced him up and down. "It's okay," you said, "you're getting tired again too, huh?"

Once he seemed to just be just uncomfortable rather than just pissed off, you gave him to Tyler so you could go heat the thing up for his ear that your mom had brought, wrapping it in a cloth as you walked back into the living room, settling it on Bentley's ear.

"Hey!" Tyler whispered yelled, "Gerry, drop that!"

You turned to see Gerry jumping around with a toy in his mouth, tilting your head to look at it. "Oh, that's his, Tyler, it's not Bentley's."

"It is?" he asked, "Why is it here?"

You shrugged, tucking a blanket around Bentley where he was curled up against Tyler's chest, before flopping down onto the bean bag chair with Marshall since Cash had now taken over your spot on the couch next to Tyler. "I guess he brought it over one time."

"Are you sure it's his?"

"Positive," you said, pulling it from his mouth and squeaking it, "Baby toys don't do that."

You relaxed now, now that Bentley didn't seem to be crying anymore, sucking on his pacifer, and you looked out the window at the rain as you rubbed Marshall behind the ears, movies still playing in the background.

"Do you remember when we all had strep throat that one time?" Tyler asked.

"Yes," you said. You were pretty sure it was Candace that had gotten it first, and then Cassidy. And you thought you were fine, until Tyler had called you and said that he got it, too, and then you'd ended up feeling sick that day after school and your mom had ended up having to take you to the doctor.

"That was the best sick day," Tyler said. "Like, ever."

Your mom had let you go over there, because you sister was unscathed and your mom had to go to work, and Jackie was already home with three sick kids, so yours was just another bottle of antibiotics to add to the mix, her freezer already stocked with Popsicles and ice cream, a pot of warm soup always cooking on the stove. "We took the cushions off the couch, didn't we, and put them on the floor?"

"No, I don't think so," Tyler said, "I think Cassidy was sleeping on the couch. But I pulled the mattress off my bed and stuck it on the floor in the family room."

"I took the cushions off the couch in the living room," you said, "Then it was like a giant bed."

"Oh yeah," Tyler said, "And then we just got to watch movies all day long."

"And played MarioKart," you smiled.

"Yeah, 'cause you brought your N64 controllers so we could all play."

"Well, yeah," you said.

"My sister was screaming so much that my mom said she must be better enough to go back to school," Tyler said, "I'm pretty sure she was faking still be sick so she could just stay home from with everyone."

"I know," you said, "You were bothering her about that every chance you got."

"Well, I have to, it's kind of my job," Tyler said, laying back with Bentley now, who you were pretty sure was on his way off to sleep. "Even though it was really hard because I was sick."

"Wow, you're really committed."

"It's just who I am," Tyler grinned, "Do you remember that your mom let you stay over because you fell asleep?"

"Yes, I remember," you smiled. You remembered, really, because your mom had had to take your sister to a volleyball game, and you heard Jackie talking on the phone to your mom, and you'd just immediately pulled the blanket up over your face, letting your eyes shut and listening to the movie that was playing until you heard her agreeing with your mom that she could pick you up tomorrow, only because you were too tired to want to leave the warm and cozy bed you'd created on the floor.

"My parents never let me have a girl sleep over before," he smirked.

"Yeah, because sleeping over with your sisters in the living room is really the same thing as letting a girl in your bedroom with the door closed," you said, "Your parents were right there, sitting on the couch with your sister once your dad got from from work."

"Yeah, but I still got a little touching in."

"Oh, what? Your leg touched mine under the blanket?"

"Something like that," Tyler said.

"Oh my god," you said.

"What?" Tyler asked, "I was like, what? 15? 16? I had no game then, it was a huge moment for me."

"Well, I'm glad I helped you out," you said.

"There would have been more touching if we weren't sick," he said, "And if my whole family was there, obviously."

You laughed awkwardly, because he seemed so certain about this fact. "You were with Kirsten," you said, somehow offended that he had even thought about touching you at the time, as if it was 10 years ago and he was still dating your friend.

"Not then I wasn't," he smiled, and then you were taken aback, because Tyler never remembered anything, which meant that he'd actually been thinking about it way back then, which just seemed like way, way too much.

"My favourite part was when it started snowing, and your mom let us all go sledding at like midnight, even though we were all sick."

"It was the first snowfall of the season," Tyler said, "You always get to go sledding the first snowfall of the season. It's, like, a rule. And then you have to have hot cocoa."

"I can't wait to take him sledding at that park we always used to go to," you said, "And make him hot cocoa with as many marshmallows as he wants."

"Well, maybe you should wait until he can eat real food," Tyler said.

"Obviously," you laughed.

"We'll just watch all the movies until it snows and he's old enough," Tyler said. And you let yourself turn back towards the movie, pulling a fleece blanket up over you, letting your eyes fall shut when they got too tired to keep open anymore, still listening to the movie until you faded off into sleep.

You woke in confusion, feeling like your clothing was being tugged at, and you shifted, until you definately felt fingers against your chest, sensing someone around you, and your eyes opened, startled to see Tyler standing above you with Bentley, vaguely aware that your nipple was half out of your shirt. "What are you doing?"

"He's hungry," Tyler explained, as you sat up, pulling your shirt back into place, and then reaching for Bentley.

"And what? You were just gonna stick him on my boob?"

"Uh, yeah," Tyler said, scratching at his head. "You were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you up."

"And you didn't think someone sucking on my nipple was going to wake me up?" you laughed.

"I don't know," he said incredulously, as you reached to your top, adjusting it so you could feed the baby. "Oh, so that's how it works," Tyler said.

"What?"

"Your shirt, I was trying to pull it down but it wasn't working," he said, tilting his head. "Has it always been like this?"

"Well, this shirt, yeah, I didn't cut holes into it," you frowned, trying not to laugh, "your mom gave me these pajamas for Christmas, remember?"

"My mom gave you pajamas with secret boob pockets in them?" he said, like this whole thing was just blowing his mind.

"They're for nursing," you said, "Lots of maternity clothes are like this.

"So all your clothes that you were wearing when you were pregnant have this feature?"

"Well, not all of them," you said, "Some of them do."

"Well, why did you not tell me about this?"

You laughed a little, still frowning at him. "Well, it wasn't like it was a big secret, you've seen me feed him before."

"I meant before," Tyler said, "You were wearing those pyjamas on Christmas, why didn't you tell me they did that?"

"Because it's for him, not you."

"Yeah, I know," Tyler said, "I could have helped you test them though, make sure they work alright."

You rolled your eyes again, looking down at Bentley.

"He is eating good, huh?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah," you said softly, sitting back with him.

"Do I have to do anything special for baby laundry?" Tyler asked now.

"What? You don't have to do his laundry."

"Do I have to do anything special for it?" he repeated, and you knew that he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"I just usually do his stuff in cold water," you said, "And his detergent is the one in the white bottle."

""K," Tyler said, leaving to do the laundry, while you finished feeding Bentley, and then put him in his swing as he seemed content, leaning over him as Gerry came by, and you had to put your hand out to him from being hit in the head.

"You have to be careful," you laughed, "This thing moves."

Unfortunately his contentment was short-lived, and you leaned down to rub his hand, "You just want attention, huh? That's okay, I'll give you attention."

"Hey, you're still awake," Tyler said, bending over, "Did you have a good nap? And some yummy milk?"

"He's a little bit sad," you said, "I'm gonna go grab his pacifier."

"Well, he's sad because he can't see the movie now," Tyler said, angling the swing towards the T.V. and you laughed as he turned the swing so Bentley was positioned towards the T.V.

"I don't even know if he can see the T.V., I don't know if his eyes can focus that far yet," you said, and Tyler just looked back and forth between Bentley and the T.V. under you came back with the pacifier, putting it towards his mouth, "Is that better?"

"He just wants attention," you said, sitting down next to him, his eyes following you.

"Well, there's no problem there is there, huh?" Tyler said, leaning down to tickle his toe. "What do you want for dinner?"

"We could just order a pizza," you said.

"Nope, that's not allowed," Tyler said, "It's a sick day, you have to have at least one home cooked meal on a sick day, it's a rule."

"Well, I don't really feel like -"

"I'm cooking," Tyler said, "We can get pizza tomorrow night. For tonight, I'm cooking anything you want."

"Anything I want?"

"Well, anything I'm capable of making," Tyler said, "So you don't really have many options, but it's still gonna be really incredible."

You laughed, searching your brain for what you might be craving. "Brunch?"

"Brunch?" Tyler repeated, "Like pancakes and eggs?"

"Yes," you said, feeling your eyes lighting up. "Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," he said, "That sounds awesome."

"So you're gonna cook us dinner and do the laundry?"

"Yeah, I would make an awesome housewife," Tyler said over his shoulder as he went into the kitchen.

You hung out with Bentley and the dogs, listening to the sound of pots and pans in the kitchen, until he started getting a little fussy again and you took him into his room to change his diaper, and then brought him into the kitchen. "Guess what?" You asked, trying not to laugh as Tyler had your navy and white polka dot apron, the one with the ruffles on it, tied around his waist. "Someone doesn't have a fever anymore."

"Is it you?" Tyler asked exaggeratedly towards Bentley, who just kind of stared in response, still looking fairly sleepy. "Yay, good job, you show that fever whose boss."

You laughed, brushing past him towards the fridge. "It smells good in here."

Tyler tsked you though, and you looked at him. "I'll make you up a plate, you go hang out with him."

"I'm just pulling some milk out of the freezer," you said, pulling it out to stick it in the fridge. "I was thinking maybe you could try to give him a bottle tomorrow."

"Yeah?" Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," you said, "Hopefully he'll keep feeling better and maybe he'll take it, I don't think he'd take it today. But I think I would really like to have a glass of wine tomorrow."

"Does that mean we're having pizza and wine for dinner tomorrow?"

"Yes," you said, still looking in the fridge, and you could feel Tyler's eyes on you, knowing that he just wanted you to go into the other room and sit down so he could bring you what he'd cooked. "Could you put some of this guacamole on my eggs, please?"

"Do you have to eat avocado with every meal?" Tyler laughed.

"Kinda, yeah," you said, and then Tyler turned to Bentley, nuzzling into him.

"You better be careful once you get those pajamas that have avocados on them," Tyler said. "Mommy might eat you by accident."

"He does not think it's funny," you laughed, because he was still just looking around, seemingly unimpressed by everything.

"It's only cause he hasn't learned how to laugh yet," Tyler said. Still though, he stayed away, propped up between the two of you as you ate, and then you decided that since he was still awake and his fever had since broken, you wanted to give him a bath, and get him changed into some clean pajamas. So, you were filling the sink with warm water and the vapour bath while Tyler got Bentley undressed, settling him into the water.

"Oh, is that nice?" you asked, taking in his relaxed expression, and then you heard Tyler, sniffing very exaggeratedly behind you. "What are you doing?" you laughed.

"Showing him how to breathe in his bubble bath to help his nose."

Bentley was just staring at Tyler like he'd never seen such a thing before, and you let him sit in the warm water for awhile before you started washing his body, and then his head turned towards you as you washed his chest, a smile sliding across his face. "Oh there's a smile," you said, smiling back at him.

"He loves it," Tyler said, leaning around to tickle him under the chin.

"You can wash his hair if you want," you said, moving the washcloth towards Tyler.

"How do I?"

"Just put a little soap on the cloth and rub it all over his head," you said, and then I usually just rinse the cloth out and use it to get all the soap off, so it doesn't get in his eyes."

"Like this?" Tyler asked, doing as you said, and Bentley smiled big this time. "Oh, you like that, too?"

You smiled, cupping your hands above Bentley's ears when Tyler to rinse the soap off. "I just don't want to get any water in his ears right now."

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Tyler said. "Mommy's so smart, huh?"

He cooed, content for a moment longer before he started getting restless.

"You want me to go grab his stuff?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah," you said. "Are you all done, no more?"

You realized though, when you turned, that his towel wasn't where you'd left it, and then Tyler came back, passing it over to you first. "Did you heat up his towel for him?"

"I didn't want him to get cold," he said.

"You are so spoiled," you said, scooping Bentley up and then taking him into your bedroom to get him dressed on the bed, rubbing the vapour rub into his chest and then some lotion onto his arms and legs before putting him into his sleeper, which was also warmed up from the dryer. "Are you happy now?" you asked him, once he was dressed, and he kicked his arms and legs in response. "You don't like being naked, do you?"

Cash crawled towards him on the bed, sniffing a little and then laying down beside him.

"Good boy," Tyler said, patting Cash on the head, "Cash gets ear infections too, Bentley. Tell him it kinda sucks, but it's gonna be okay."

You smiled, your hand going to the back of your neck, and you half laid on the bed. "Are you guys giving him all the cuddles?" you asked.

"Did you hurt your neck?" Tyler asked, and you realized now that you were rubbing it, stretching your neck back and forth.

"I don't know, it's just a little tight."

"Do you want me to rub it for you?" Tyler asked, and you shook your head.

"I think I'm just tired."

"Well, why don't you go have a bath?"

"I had a shower this morning."

"For like two minutes, and then you were sitting on the floor with Bentley," Tyler said, "I meant to relax. I can hang out with him."

"Aren't you tired?"

"Nope," Tyler said nonplussed, and then he looked at your reaction. "Babe, I did this for one night, you've been doing it for two months. You're allowed to go have a bath for an hour. Bentley thinks you should. But he thinks you should go in the tub rather than the sink."

You laughed, continuing to pet Cash. "You're sure though?"

"Mhmm," Tyler said, picking Bentley up, "I'll make sure he doesn't watch any X-rated films."

"Oh thanks," you said sarcastically.

"Only R-rated stuff," Tyler said, kissing Bentley's cheek.

It was nice though, laying in the tub and using bubble bath, something you'd realized you hadn't done since Bentley was born. Marshall had followed you in, laying down on the bath mat and starting to snore, and you laughed, letting your eyes fall shut as you relaxed in the dim room, hearing the gentle reverberation of Tyler's voice ever now and again. You felt refreshed when you got out, putting on a pair of clean pajamas slowly, not hearing Bentley cry. And then you went into the living room, finding Tyler laying back with Bentley resting on his chest, Gerry's head resting on Tyler's stomach, and Cash curled up at Tyler's feet, all of their eyes shut.. You made a motion towards Marshall to stay there and crept to grab your phone, getting closer and closer as you took pictures, wanting to capture it before they woke up. You were right next to Bentley's face when Tyler cleared his throat, and then opened one eye. "No pictures, please," he said, waving his hand.

"Were you faking it this whole time?" you laughed.

"Yep," Tyler said, turning his head back towards the television, "You got a cute picture though."

"Are you watching Barney?" you asked, when you became aware of what was on the television.

"He is," Tyler said, his chin nodding towards the baby.

"He's sleeping," you said.

"Shh..." Tyler said, "He's listening to it, he's just resting his eyes.

Sure enough though, Bentley's eyes did blink open after a few minutes, like Tyler had had the whole thing planned. "We were watching hockey but it was in between periods, and I saw that they had Barney on Netflix earlier," he said, "The best thing about hanging out with a kid is that you're allowed to watch kid shows, don't judge me."

"I'm not, we watched kids' movies all day," you said, and Tyler smiled, and now you looked at Marshall, who was now climbing onto the monstrosity that you'd noticed on your living room floor, and you smiled. "What is this?"

"Living room bed," he said, and then he got up, setting Bentley on the pillow in the middle of the mattress, which you recognized as the one that your mom had been sleeping on when she stayed with you for the first couple of weeks, the comforter from your bed and all the extra pillows and blankets that were normally in your living room gathered together.

"You want to try out his turtle?" you asked.

"Yeah," Tyler said, shooting Bentley's hand up into the air, and you turned the lights off in the living room while Tyler set it up, and then you crawled into bed next to your baby, watching as his eyes widening, watching the light effects float over the ceiling, gentle music filling the room along with ocean noises. "Wow, is that so cool?" you said, "Can you say 'Thank you Uncle Ty-Ty for getting that for me'?"

"Thanks for letting me hang out with you, bud," Tyler said, turning his head towards Bentley and kissing him on the cheek, both of you watching him now, with the dogs curled up at your feet, Tyler smiling at you from behind Bentley, the light reflected in his eyes.

And, if it weren't for the fact that you knew your baby wasn't feeling good, maybe sick days weren't that bad after all.

**

The next morning you felt a little more yourself. Well, there wasn't really much of the morning left anymore, by the time you'd gotten out of bed to actually make a meal, rather than just pulling Bentley into bed with you to feed him. Tyler was sleeping, laying on his stomach, after already having taken the dogs out, and then they'd all just come back to bed.

Now, you tucked Bentley into his carrier as you pulled out vegetables from the fridge and started chopping them and started cracking some eggs, knowing that he just wanted to be held close. It was helpful, though, once you'd finished cooking, because you had two hands to carry the plates and mugs of coffee into the bedroom, settling back into bed as Tyler blinked up at you. "When did you leave?" he asked, his hair ruffled with sleep and his voice muffled.

"A little bit ago," you said.

"I got cold," he whined, nuzzling up against you.

"I made us omelettes," you said, reaching over to take a careful sip of your coffee.

"I see that," Tyler said happily, leaning to look at Bentley. "How's he doing?"

"I can tell he's not feeling well, but he seems to be managing okay," you said, "He just wants cuddles."

"The snuggle is real," Tyler said, and you laughed, as he rested his head against your shoulder for a moment, "I know it's just because he's sick, but the way he's breathing is kind of a adorable."

"I know," you said, "He's like snoring."

"This is so good," Tyler said, and you looked at him, the blanket bunched around his hips, your eyes immediately going to the text one his chest, and then Tyler ducked his head into your line of vision. "My eyes are up here," h he said, pointing at them

"I was looking at your tattoo," you clarified.

Truth be told, though, you had really never been so attracted to his tattoos until now, especially when the blanket was covering up part of it, and you thought you were probably only one of the few who knew what it said.

It meant everything.

You'd forever be connected by that day you decided to get pregnant together, that day you found out that there was a life growing inside you, and that date etched on his chest, when you both got to bring this little person into the world for the first time, and you got to meet him together.

Still, though, you didn't expect to find your son's name and those numbers quite so sexy, but it was when it was written on Tyler's body.

"As I was saying before you started checking out my boobs," Tyler continued, "this is really good, you're such a better cook than me."

"Your pancakes were awesome last night," you said watching him try not to smile.

"Well, I still like your food better."

"Well, yeah, most people like when other people cook for them more."

"No, not because of that," Tyler said, shaking his head, "My favourite thing is when we cook together."

"What, really?"

"Yeah," Tyler said easily, like this was common knowledge and it was perfectly reasonable for you to cook all your meals together, or like you had breakfast in bed together every day. "Can you eat more cheese now?" Tyler asked with curiosity, and you realized he was looking at your plate.

"It's nut cheese."

"Nut cheese?" He repeated, recoiling, "I'm sorry, but that sounds disgusting."

"I put it on yours, too, you said it was good."

"But it sounds gross," he said. "Nut cheese."

"Okay, cashew cheese," you rolled your eyes. "Is that better?"

"Now it just sounds weird."

"It's good for you."

"Yeah, that's what makes it weird," he said. "I can't believe you put your nuts in my eggs, though."

You laughed at him laughing at himself. "You are such a child."

"I'm just helping you get prepared for when he's older."

"He's not going to be making nut jokes."

"Yeah, he is," Tyler said, and then you gave him a weary look, "if he doesn't learn it from me he's gonna learn it from somewhere else. Plus, it's so awesome when little kids say inappropriate things when they have no idea what they're saying."

"So if my two year old starts swearing, you're the one I need to find?"

"No," Tyler said, as if the thought alone offended him. "I would never do anything his mom said he wasn't allowed to."

"Well, you can do some things, you don't have to ask me for everything.."

"Yeah, but you're the boss," Tyler said, smiling up at you.

You laid back, continuing to eat your breakfast. You mostly stayed in bed then for most of the day, all of you, curled up and watching more movies and T.V. shows. It wasn't until a few hours later, going into the evening, when you realized it wasn't raining anymore, and you decided to take Bentley out for a little walk to get some fresh air.

You were in the bathroom, pulling your hair back, when you heard Tyler just let out this surprised little screaming noise from Bentley's room, and you immediately dropped what you were doing to go in and make sure everything was alright, finding Tyler standing back from where Bentley was laid out on the changing table, with a very distinctive wet line across his shirt, and Tyler looked at you when you came in, running his hand over his hair, his eyes open wide in alarm. "He peed on me!"

"Yeah, I see that," you laughed, looking down at Bentley, who seemed to be completely undisturbed about this whole situation.

"Stop laughing," Tyler said, looking down at his shirt, as if he was trying to decide if his shirt was salvageable or not.

"It's mostly just water, you're fine," you said.

"Says the one who didn't have this happen to them," Tyler said, peeling his shirt off now and tossing it in Bentley's clothes hamper.

"Oh, he's peed on me tons of times," you said, "He's peed on me, he's pooped on me, he's spit up all over me. It happens."

"He looks pretty happy with himself, though. You did that on purpose, didn't you? " Tyler asked, leaning over, and then he looked over at you, now grabbing something to wipe himself off with. "Why didn't you warn me?"

"Well, I thought you would figure it out, I didn't think I had to explain it to you, you can see his anatomy," you laughed, going to finish changing Bentley now. "That's why I usually use the old diaper to cover him up, just in case."

"I thought you just did that because you were worried his pee-pee was going to get cold, and I was just, like, he'll be okay."

"His pee-pee?"

"Yeah, what am I supposed to call it? His dick?"

"His penis," you said, and Tyler immediately started giggling. "It's the right word, if he needs to tell me something, he needs to know the right words to say."

"I'm sorry, but no guy is going to talk to him mom about his dick, it's not happening."

"Well, I'm his parent, he has to know that he can talk to me," you said, putting on the baby wrap to put Bentley in for your walk as you did so.

"Yeah, and I'm sure he'll come to you for other things, but he's not gonna want to talk to you about that," Tyler said, and you felt a little defeated in some way. "He'll talk to me about it, it's fine."

"Well, you might not be here –"

"Then he can call me and talk to me," Tyler said, "Whenever he wants to."

"Whenever?"

"Mhmm.." Tyler said, like it was no big deal at all, "Assuming he doesn't pee on me again."

"Umm..." you said, seeing Bentley now, who was wiggling onto his side on his changing pad. "What do you think you're doing? You're not allowed to do that yet," you said, putting your hand up to block him from moving too far, and then you picked him up to tuck him inside the baby wrap.

"What is he trying to do?"

"Roll over."

"You better stay in there where you can't get into any more trouble," Tyler teased, turning to look at the dogs, "Who wants to go on a walk? Do you want to go on a walk? Yeah!"

You laughed, going outside where you you took a deep inhale of the night air, feeling way lighter than you usually did without the stroller, just Bentley strapped to you chest and his pacifier tucked inside, just in case.

"I wish they made those for adults," Tyler said.

"What this?"

"Yeah, he looks so comfy curled up on you," Tyler said, "If you could just carry be around like that, I'd be the happiest ever."

"Well, there's no room for you."

"I could go on your back," he said, placing his hands on your shoulders and jumping like he was going to get on.

"Tyler!" you laughed, Marshall circling to give Tyler a very dirty look.

"Relax, I was joking," Tyler said, leaning over to pet Marshall, "I would not hurt her, you know that."

You smiled as you started to walk, the dog's leashes lose in Tyler's hands, leading the way, and it felt, strangely, like you should be holding his hand.

"This is like straight-up squad goals," Tyler said, and you realized, probably, that you made a bit of a scene every time you went for a walk together, with three dogs, and a little, adorable baby, and Tyler just being Tyler.

"Squad goals?" you laughed.

"Mhmm, just taking our kids for a walk on a Saturday night," Tyler said, "look how happy they are."

You swallowed at his words.

"I can take one of them," you said, extending your hand for a leash.

"Umm...no."

"Why not?"

"Because you've got him," Tyler said, "I don't want them to pull you over."

"They're not gonna pull be over," you said, "I walked Cash with him, and it was fine."

"Yeah, but Cash waddles like you did when you were pregnant."

"He does not!" you said, immediately stopping and leaning down to hug Cash as best as you could. "Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about."

"He does waddle a bit, look at him," Tyler laughed.

"That's just how dogs walk," you said, "Don't be mean to him."

"I'm not," Tyler said, "I still loved you when you waddled, I still love him when he waddles."

"So can I walk him since all he does is waddle?"

"Mmmnope," Tyler said, grinning at you.

"Are you ever gonna let me walk them again?" you laughed.

"Yeah," Tyler said, "If I take him one time, then you can take them."

"You want to wear Bentley?"

"I can one time, yeah," Tyler said, and you felt your heart lurch in your chest. "He probably won't like it as much as when you do it, but we can try."

"What are you talking about?" you asked. "He loves it when you cuddle him."

You wondered now, if Bentley knew, just inherently, that Tyler was his, like the way that newborns could smell their mothers or recognize their mother's heartbeat.

If he knew that Tyler was his home like you were.

"No, I meant I don't have boob pillows," Tyler said, cupping at his chest, and you smiled, shaking your head, Marshall checking over his shoulder, looking straight for you. "Yeah, she's still there," Tyler said, "You're his favourite person ever."

"Well, I'm not his –"

"Yeah, you are," Tyler said, grinning at you, "One of my favourite things about him is how protective he is of you. Since day one. You were always supposed to be his mom y'know?"

You inhaled, and then exhaled, because you didn't know what to say, and the evening air....well, it felt new, and exciting, like you knew you had the whole summer ahead of you. But you knew better, that the summer never seemed quite as long as you expected it to be.

So you focused on what you had right here and now, on your walk, which was really slow going, with you having to stop and start every time one of the dogs decided they had to stop and pee on something.

"I am constantly surrounded by boys," you laughed.

"Well, that's kind of helpful, though."

"Why is it helpful?"

"Because when you want to refer to all of us," Tyler said, his hand moving collectively. "You can just say 'those are my boys'".

But you couldn't though.

And you didn't know how much longer you could just have him say things like that, without them being true.

And you needed to tell him.

But you got back to the house, and Bentley was hungry, and then you had to focus on trying to decide which bottle he might like best, and making sure the milk wasn't too hot, while Tyler was trying to get set up with Bentley on the couch, waiting for you. You leaned over the back of the couch, your hand tangling in Tyler's hair as you passed over the bottle. "I love it when you do that," he said quietly.

"Do what?"

"Put your hand in my hair like that," he said, "it's relaxing."

You hadn't even realized you were doing it. Or that you ever did it.

"Did your walk make you so hungry?" Tyler asked, "Even though you didn't do anything but lay there?"

You smiled, leaning over the couch, because you wanted to watch, but you weren't really sure if Bentley would take a bottle if he knew you were right there. "Is he okay?" Tyler asked, propping him up a little bit more.

"Yeah, I think," you said, "just like, brush it against his lips and he should latch on. Just don't put it in his mouth, let him take it."

"Okay," Tyler said, and you leaned over the couch, watching as he tried to move it towards Bentley's mouth, but he kept whining and moving his head away.

"Maybe I should try another bottle?" you asked, and Tyler handed it back to you, and then you went to get the other bottles you'd pulled out, trying to compare them against his pacifier.

"That one on the right looks most like your nipples," Tyler said.

"What? This one?"

"Mhmm..." Tyler said nonchalantly, "If memory serves right, but I can do a comparison if you want."

"Just give him the bottle," you laughed, handing it back to him after you switched it over.

"Just trying to help," Tyler said, "This looks like more what you're used to, right?" Tyler asked him, tilting him up a little again.

"Maybe put a little bit of milk on it so he knows what it is," you said, watching as Tyler shook out a little bit, drawing it against Bentley's lips, and then he opened his mouth, latching on.

"Is this right?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, he's swallowing it," you said, grabbing your phone and trying to sneak a video of him getting his first bottle. You saw Bentley's eyes flick over to you, but he kept sucking, so you circled around, looking at Tyler looking down at him, completely focused and smiling softly, and then his eyes glanced at you momentarily, his shoulder coming up like he was trying to wipe at his eyes.

"Are you crying?" you asked gently, sitting down.

"Little bit."

"How come?" you asked, your head tilting off to the side.

"I don't know," he said. "It's like...I guess it's just special to be able to give him what he needs, well, with your help, I mean. Like, do you feel like this when you feed him?"

You smiled softly, setting your phone down. "I feel close to him, yeah," you said, "My favourite is when I'm up with him in the night, and it's dark out, and it feels like it's just him and I."

"I could see that, yeah," Tyler said, looking back down and Bentley, "It's, like, really good bonding."

"Yeah, it is," you smiled, trying to slide off the couch inconspicuously, not wanting to invade on their time together, but Tyler someone sensed this.

"No, stay," he said, reaching out for your leg with his, like he was trying to intertwine himself with you, and so you sat back down, watching Tyler feed Bentley. "He just downed that thing," Tyler said, picking Bentley up to lay against his shoulder.

"Yeah, I didn't give him very much."

"You're all done, little man," Tyler said, Bentley squirming against his body. "Are you happy now? Kinda?"

You looked at him, his little mouth opening and closing. "I think he might want more."

"Do you have milk for him, like in your boobs?"

"Yes," you laughed, taking him from where Tyler had him extended towards you, and you stood up, pulling him to you. "That's good, though, that he took it. I'll just have to take more out for him next time."

"He's got a big appetite," Tyler said, "he's a growing boy."

"I'm gonna take him into my room to finish feeding him and put him down," you said. "I'm gonna pump, so I might be a bit."

"'K," Tyler said, "Want me to order the pizza?"

"Please."

"Night, night, Bentley," Tyler said, waving hand towards him. "I'm sure I'll see you again before I go to sleep."

You smiled, taking him into your room to finish feeding him, and then you swaddled him, rocking him to sleep and then you laid down in his basinette, sitting back down so you could pump, at which time Gerry decided to jump up and join you. You were almost done when the door pushed open slowly and Tyler poked his head in and then frowned. "Why are you rocking my dog to sleep?" He whispered.

"He wanted me to, he thinks he's a baby," you said, rubbing Gerry's head, and Tyler just shook his head. "I'm almost done."

"Yeah," he said, "I was just wondering if I could pour you a glass of wine? Red?"

When you nodded, he shut the door gently behind him, and you finished what you were doing, grabbing the baby monitor and then going to put the milk in the freezer, finding Tyler sitting in the family room, the room dark other than the television which was paused on your next episode of Grey's Anatomy, the pizza box and wine glasses sitting on the coffee table illuminated by the flickering of a couple candles, and you stopped, looking at them, and then at Tyler. "Why? What's with the candles?"

"I just wanted to help you relax," he said, patting the couch next to him, and you sat down slowly, and then he started the show like nothing was out of the ordinary, asking you if Bentley went down okay, his arm curving around the back of the couch behind where you were sitting . You kept glancing at him though, out of the corner of your eye, even as you nibbled on a slice of pizza, and then held onto your wine glass, leaning against him, wanting to enjoy your glass of wine before you had any more pizza. You got lost in the show though, and the sound of Tyler's heartbeat so, when he paused the show about three quarters of the way through, even though someone had just flatlined, you thought nothing of it, pulling off of Tyler to let him get up, assuming he was going to the bathroom or refill his glass of wine, but the pads of his fingers pressed into your arm, keeping you there, the room so quiet now you could hear him breathing.

"I put you in a box," Tyler said, and you felt yourself trying to look towards him out of your peripheral vision, but he staring staring straight ahead, like he was still watching t.v. , even though the characters were frozen in motion. "In my mind. I don't even know why. But it was like...I just thought, for some reason, like we couldn't be together. But there was never a reason. You should never have been in that box."

You swallowed the emotion in your throat, sitting up to look at him. "Tyler..."

He reached for your hand wordlessly, his eyes looking like yours, full and threatening to spill over but contained for now. "There was never a reason," he said, "it wasn't like you had a boyfriend, or you were my friend's girl, or I didn't see how incredible you were. I don't know why I did that. I have no clue why I didn't– I was so goddamned blind to what was right in front of me. You've been right in front of me the whole time, babe, you– "

You felt like you could feel the wheels turning in your head, your breathing slowing like your body recognized before you did, this was the moment everything changed. "Wh-what are you saying?" You asked breathily.

"I love you," he said simply, and then he smiled just a little. "I'm in love with you. I have been for awhile."

"For how long?" You asked in a whoosh of air, and he continued to smile softly, and you weren't sure if he could even make out what you'd said.

"When did I realize or when should I have realized?"

"I don't..I don't know." You weren't even sure you knew what he was saying.

"That night kissed you for the first time," Tylersaid. "I should have realized it then."

"In high school?" You asked in shock.

"No, no. I mean, maybe if I wasmt a complete idiot, I might have, " he said. "But I don't think I was ready for you then."

"It was that night, at my house," he continued now, "You were so...you were so crushed, and like, you were completely distraught. And it hurt me, even though you were so hurt It killed me, seeing you hurt like that. But, like, I just knew we would be okay, like it felt like we could do anything, or go through anything together, and it'd still be okay."

"But you didn't then?" Why hadn't you even though about it? How could you think he had just kissed you by accident, why didn't you just...why did you just kiss him back?

If you did, would you still have Bentley?

"It was after you got pregnant," Tyler said, "Not the like....the sex was awesome, but I thought it was just..I thought it was just because it was us, you know? It was when you were pregnant, and you were so, so sick. And all I wanted to do was just sit with you while you tried not to throw up, and being you cold cloths or rub your back or just...sit with you and do nothing. It was so hard for me to leave you. Like, it usually sucks, but...I just wanted to be with you. I still want to be with you."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you were having a kid," Tyler said. "I tried, really hard to not keep sleeping with you, after, too. I didn't want you to think I was taking advantage of you. Or that I only came to see you or wanted you to come visit me to have sex. It wasn't like that."

"I know."

"I thought, though, if I could make you feel wanted, and beautiful, and loved like you should, then I thought that could be part of my job, too? Like in getting him here. You deserve that," Tyler said strongly, and then his voice sounded oddly strangled. "I've been trying so hard not to say anything. I really, really have."

"But why?"

"You have him now," Tyler said, "And he's so new, and you're just...growing with him. And you should. He should be your priority. And I know he is. And I don't want to just come, and screw it all up. That's not fair."

"You're not going to screw it up, Tyler."

Didn't he see he would make it all better?

"He's yours, babe," Tyler said, "You know he's yours. And I just....like, can't come in here and, I don't know. I wanted to wait until he was a little bit older, and you were more established with him, but I just...I couldn't stay quiet anymore, you know?"

You sat there for a moment, trying to process his words. "Do you think you could though, one day?" you asked. "That he could be yours, too?"

"Yes," Tyler said immediately, like he didn't even need to think about it, "He's just...he's not mine, yet. And I just want to do this right. For you and for him. And I don't even know what that looks like. I just know I love you. And I know you said you didn't want to date, right now, and I can't pretend that I know what it feels like to be a parent, the way that you are, right now. But I want more, if you have feelings, I want more. But I don't want to lose you."

"You're not gonna lose me," you said, leaning forward now, your fingers dancing about where that tattoo was beneath his shirt. "We're always gonna be connected like this. I have feelings, too..for you. I love you."

"I know," he said, and you took a deep breath, looking at your hand still in his, and then you stopped, the light on the baby monitor sending a glow of red across the coffee table as Bentley started to cry, and you looked behind you, towards the direction of your bedroom, your other hand coming into Tyler's, even as you heard Gerry howling as he approached the living room.

"Tyler, I..."

"Go get him," Tyler said, gently. "He needs you."

Gerry circled around you as you got up, herding you back towards the bedroom, where you picked Bentley, rocking him in your arms until he calmed, just needing a little extra love and attention right now. You walked back out, him in your arms and the dogs following you towards Tyler who was sitting now, with his feet up on the coffee table, the television still paused, and he smiled when you came into the room, walking right towards him. "Can you hold him for a second?" you asked.

He looked a little surprised but took his legs down off the coffee table, his arms ready for you to settle Bentley into. You both looked down, making sure that he was still calm, and then you stepped closer, and Tyler looked up and you, your hands coming to cup either side of his face, looking into his brown eyes, his gaze on yours, like he was just waiting for what you were going to do next.

You leaned in and kissed him.

And, when you pulled back, your face just inches away, searching his eyes, and then his expression, and he looked more content and at peace then you'd ever seen him, like he couldn't contain his happiness. "I don't want to date, though," you said, still searching his eyes, watching as he focused on you. "I just want a whole life with you."

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah," you smiled.

And you kissed him some more.


	57. Chapter 57

It still felt surreal, waking up next to him, and you couldn't believe that last night had actually happened. But there he was, sleeping soundly right next to you, a little smile coming and going on his face, just like Bentley did when he slept.

Tyler's eyes opened, and for a minute you thought he might make fun of you for staring at him as he slept, even though you'd fallen asleep last with your faces more inches apart. But he didn't, instead, a slow, sleepy smile breaking across his face. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," you smiled back, your lips pressed together, just so you could feel how pillowy soft they were, and make out the hint of his smile, even with your eyes closed.

But it turned into Tyler groaning and pulling away from you, until Gerry was standing between you, tail wagging, even as he whined.

"Yeah, I hear him, Ger," you whispered, swinging your legs over the bed and then laughing because Cash was already up, sniffing at the mesh of basinette. He wasn't even crying, though, just making little noises that let you know he was awake. You picked him up, letting Cash sniff him for a moment before you pulled him into bed with you, pulling him out of his swaddle. "Aw stretch," you said, tickling his belly, and you were rewarded with a big smile. "Did you sleep so good?"

"He slept like a baby," Tyler said, his face still on the pillow, smiling into it, "So he was up, what? Every two hours?"

"Something like that," you said, "He was better though, he just wanted to eat all the time."

"He's making up for when he wasn't very hungry," Tyler said, leaning around Bentley now, and Bentley screatched a little when he came into view, like he wanted to laugh but didn't know how to yet. "Oh, what story are you gonna tell me? Oh, you had good dreams last night? Tell me all about it, I'm listening."

"Oh, that's so funny," Tyler said, looking up at you out of the corner of his eyes, "That's exactly what I dreamed about, too."

"Wait, what do you dream about?" you asked.

"You," he said sweetly, looking up at you now.

"Oh, you did not dream about me, stop."

"Mmyeah, I did," Tyler said, and then he laughed, "Maybe it was just because I got to see you in the middle of the night, but it still counts, right?"

"No, it doesn't count."

"Mmmit counts," he said, leaning over Bentley to kiss you. "See, why are you kissing me if it doesn't count?"

"Because I love you."

"Say that again."

"I love you?"

"Mhmm.."

"I just said it."

"I could listen to you say it all day."

"Since when are you such a sap?"

"Since it's you," Tyler said, "And since, I don't know, I've only been waiting for you to say it to me for about ten years."

"I've been saying it to you like this whole time."

"Never like this," Tyler said softly, and then he leaned over you, "Fine, I'll make you say it then."

"Tyler!" You squealed, when he started kissing you all over his hand tickling at your side.

"I love you," he said seriously.

"I love you, too."

"I knew I could make you say it," he grinned, still leaning over you, until Gerry barked suddenly. "What do you want?" Tyler whined.

"I think he wants food," you said.

"Well, you got to ask nicely," Tyler said, and then Gerry started climbing on top of him, and you laughed as Tyler squirmed and groaned beneath him, his face eventually getting licked. "Stop there's a baby."

"He's not anywhere near the baby."

"Well, help me," Tyler said.

"Gerry," you said, and he backed up, looking at you and then barking again, and Bentley flinched a little, his eyes following the noise until he was looking at the dog. "You watching him?" you asked.

"He's looking right at him," Tyler said, leaning over to watch Bentley, "Are you gonna feed the dogs for me once you can walk, huh?"

Bentley gurgled in response, and Tyler laughed. "He's so happy this morning."

"He usually is happy in the mornings," you said, "He was just kind of grumpy before because he wasn't feeling well, I don't think."

"He wasn't grumpy," Tyler said, "He was just all snuggly and sleepy."

"I know," you smiled, and Gerry barked again.

"Jesus," Tyler said, crawling out of bed now, "When are you going to pull your own weight around here?"

"What about you?" you said, ticking Bentley, "Are you getting hungry, too? I think so," you said, picking him up.

"Look how nicely Bentley asks for food, Gerry," Tyler said.

"And Marshall just silently stares," you laughed, sitting up to feed Bentley, and Cash just snuggled in even closer to your leg.

"I don't think Cash is gonna come now," Tyler said, "He's, like, gotta be right by you when you're feeding him."

"He always wants to be by him," you smiled.

"Especially when you're feeding him, though, like he's gotta protect you," Tyler said, leaning over to pet him, "Maybe when dogs in the wild feed their babies, the boy dogs need to protect them from predators."

"What predators are there going to be in my bedroom?" You laughed

Tyler shrugged, "Gerry might jump on you," he said, laughing and moving away as he did just that. "'K, come on."

Cash sighed after they left, and you laughed, rubbing him with your leg. "Are they making too much noise for you?" You asked.

It wasn't too much longer before Tyler came back in the room, and you smiled at his bedhead, and the bowl of what you knew was cereal in his hands, along with a glass of cranberry juice, both of which you knew he'd brought for you, because he learned you needed about a million snacks per day with breastfeeding. "You don't even have to use a pillow anymore, you could just get Cash to lie on you lap," Tyler joked, crawling back into bed, curving his body around the cereal bowl and then stirring it, scooping up a spoonful, and you leaned towards it, opening your mouth. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Tyler smiled, kissing your lips gently. "Mmm...chocolatey."

You took the glass of juice from him, and then watched as he took the same spoon, taking his own bite of cereal. "Hey, I thought you brought that for me."

"I did, we're sharing," he smiled at you, and then, somehow, his hand made its way to cup your cheek and, this time, you got lost in each other as you kissed, so much so, that it wasn't until the bed jolted that you broke apart, Tyler struggling to grab the cereal bowl before it fell over as Marshall and Gerry jumped onto the bed, and then the next thing you knew you had a baby who was upset that his breakfast was interrupted.

"Umm...Tyler," you said, eying the bed sheets. "Can you just grab on of his cloths and wipe that up a bit?"

"Huh?" he asked, leaning over you, "Oh, sorry, I didn't think I spilled."

"That's my milk," you said, and he froze from where he was wiping it up, making a little bit of a face, like he was trying not to touch it with his hands now. "It's just milk, it's not gross."

"Yeah, true," he said, like he was just getting this through his mind, and you laughed.

"I leak a lot, if it bothers you might want to sleep in a different bed," you smirked.

"Nah," Tyler said, placing a kiss on your temple. "I love you even if you leak."

"Oh thanks."

"You're welcome," Tyler smiled, leaning back until Bentley was done eating, and then you pulled him up, settling him on his pillow. "Did you have boobs for breakfast, bud?" Tyler asked, "Were they yummy?"

Bentley smiled, and then Gerry stepped around him, and started licking him all over the cheeks. "I don't even need to wipe your face, do I?" you laughed, holding onto Gerry so he wouldn't accidentally step on the baby.

"Okay, I think he's clean," Tyler said, pulling Gerry back now when he seemed a little too enthused, and you looked at Bentley, getting up and crawling towards him, and then picking between his lips.

"He's got dog hair in his mouth," you laughed, and then Tyler giggled, while you picked pieces out. "That's a dark one, that's not Gerry's."

"What were you guys doing to him when we were sleeping?" Tyler asked, propping himself up on his hand, "Were you have a snuggle party? Did you climb into his bed?"

"I think Cash was trying to," you said, and then you smiled as Cash rested his head on the pillow next to Bentley. "He loves him."

"Did Mom make him just for you?" Tyler asked. "That's what you think, huh?"

"Well, you helped."

"Just with the fun part," he said, kissing you playfully all over the face now, and then burying his face in your neck. "The cup part was a little lame though, I should have asked you to sneak in that room with me."

"Because that would have been appropriate," you said.

"Yeah, well you know me," he said, his eyes twinkling, rolling away from you and propping his head up in one hand, the other hand still on your arm. "Hey, you know, I didn't know I was in love with you then, right, when...?"

"When what?"

Tyler's eyes darted off to the side and then back to you, and then he whispered. "When u suggested we have...s-e-x."

"What, you have to spell the word now?" You laughed.

"The baby's right there."

"Well, he's two months old, it's not like he knows what it is, I kind of haven't had the sex talk with him yet," you said, and Tyler gave you a forlorn look, bracketing around you with him arms, as if Bentley couldn't possibly be looking at you when you were having this conversation.

"But you know that, right?" Tyler continued, playing with a loose strand of your hair. "Like, if I had known that I had feelings for you, I wouldn't have suggested we...conceive like that."

Your eyes flicked up as you processed his words, and then Tyler spoke again.

"Not that, like, I'm not attracted to you," he said quickly, "like, I am, obviously. I've thought you were beautiful, like, for the longest time. It was just, like, in my head you were off-limits."

"Until we tried to have a baby, and then you thought let's just make him in a bed rather than a doctor's office," you said, your lips turning up in a smile, but Tyler looked a little concerned that you would suggest such a thing. "Do you regret it?" You asked, curiously, like you were open to the answer.

"No," Tyler frowned, "do I wish that maybe I'd gotten to tell you I loved you, for real, and taken you out for dinner first, and gotten to just kiss you? Yeah. But if we did all that then, then we might not have done the whole getting pregnant thing, and then we might not have gotten him. And that'd really suck."

You both smiled at Bentley, who just seemed content to be propped up, looking at the dogs.

"I mean, it might've...we might've.."

Tyler shook his head slowly. "But then it would have been our decision, not your decision."

"And you wouldn't have?"

"I don't know," Tyler said, his eyes flicking over to Bentley. "I didn't feel ready then, and you were so ready, and you wanted to have him now, or you needed to have him now, so maybe I would've, but then maybe that would've caused problems between us, I don't know."

"But you feel more ready now then...like?"

"I mean, I feel like I'm more ready to have a family. Like, I feel like I already do have a family," Tyler said, "I just don't feel like I'm his Dad. Yet."

"But you're sure that you could," you said, "Right?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, smiling softly at you. "I wouldn't have told you I loved you if I didn't think I could. I still wanted to wait, but I just...couldn't. You have no idea."

"I couldn't, either," you said, "I almost told you so many times."

"Wait, you did?" Tyler asked, and you nodded. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I was pregnant," you said, "And I thought that maybe I was misreading your signals. Or, like, I wanted to be in love with you because I was having your baby. But it wasn't that. It's more than making babies with you, you know."

"Yeah," Tyler said, kissing you lightly on the forehead, "It is more than that, with you."

"I almost did tell you, though, after he smiled, and we kissed," you said, laughing. "And then Gerry jumped on us and completely ruined the moment."

"Gerry," Tyler said, "Why'd you do that? You're supposed to help me get the girl."

Gerry, somehow, though he was being called, and then started crawling all over both of you, licking you on the face. "You think she's yours, huh?" Tyler asked, rubbing him behind the ears, "Only when I'm not here, you can cuddle her."

"That's going to work out well," you said sarcastically, and Tyler laughed.

"He's like, Dad, you should have kissed this girl years ago," Tyler said, and then he started patting Marshall. "You knew the whole time, didn't you, huh? You're so much smarter than me, yeah."

"He probably thought if he hurt his paw, you'd stay."

"Nah, I think he just wanted to spend more time with you, and I don't blame him," Tyler said, "Did you try to tell me again, after that?"

"Yeah," you said, "On Mother's Day."

Tyler shut his eyes, and then ran his hand over his face. "And then I said I couldn't be his Dad, right?"

"Yeah."

Tyler groaned, "I fucked that one up all by myself, didn't I?"

"Well, not.."

"You can say it," Tyler grinned. "Because I totally did. I do want to be his dad though."

"Yeah?" You smiled softly.

"Of course I do," Tyler said, "I just don't feel like I get to be his dad because of genetics, though? I feel like that's something you should earn. And I've pretty big shoes to fill."

"What do you mean?" You frowned, "Whose shoes?"

"Yours," Tyler said, quietly, stroking a strand of hair behind your ear. "You're his everything. Don't think I haven't noticed. It makes me love you more."

"It makes me love you more, too, seeing you with him," you admitted, and you watched Tyler smile.

"I still don't..." Tyler said, "like, I feel like a connection with him, obviously. But I don't know if I'm really bonded with him in the same way you are. Like a parental way."

"It could just be like a mom thing, though," you said, "like he's so new still, but he was inside me. And I'm his main food source, so obviously he's just gonna be more attached to me because of that. And maybe you'll just develop a bond more with him as he gets older."

"It could be that," Tyler said, "but, like, getting to stay with you, these past couple of days has been awesome, even though it sucked that he was sick, I got to like learn more about how to take care of him, and spend time with him, more time. And I want more of that."

"You can have more of that," you smiled.

Tyler smiled back at you. "Are you okay, though, with that?"

"Yeah," you whispered against his face, "Yeah, just as long as you think that you could, for him."

"I do," Tyler said, "I want to make sure he has the best dad. Whether that's me or.... . I don't want to take anything away from him."

You blinked, examining the emotion in his eyes, the reflection and the specks of colour.

He'd give it all up, if he had to, if you'd fallen in love with someone else.

"Hey," Tyler said softly, sweeping at your cheek. "What's with the tears?"

"It just means a lot to me that you love him so much and wants what's best for him."

"Of course, I do," Tyler said, "And for you. That's another thing, you and I. Like, if you were dating some guy, it's not....it doesn't seem right for me to just come in here and start making parenting decisions and stuff. I think it's important that our relationship is strong first."

"Yeah," you said, "yeah, me too."

You weren't sure when, but now you were aware of your fingers, joined together.

"So you'll still be his Uncle Ty-ty, and we'll be.."

"In love," Tyler finished, pressing a kiss to your lips, "I feel already like more than that though, like we're building our family...or..are you crying again?"

"He's made me more emotional," you said.

"Yeah," Tyler said, leaning up on his arm now "Me too. I think I've cried more in the two months since he's been born than I have in the last five years. Easy."

You laughed together, your thumb rubbing circles against his. "I feel the same way though," you said. "I can't really even imagine another guy in his life."

Tyler's thumb was rubbing against yours now. "What about in your life?"

"Just you," you said, and he smiled, you moving to kiss him, but he pulled back slightly.

"Are you 100% sure?"

"I am," you smiled, pressing your lips to his.

"Me too," Tylers said, toying with yyour hhand, "But there's something I have to do before we make things official."

"Oh?" You asked, as Tyler pushed himself up, towards the centre of the bed.

"I know it's alright with you guys," Tyler said, petting Cash on the head, and then leaning in front of where Bentley was propped up on the pillow, smiling big in his line of sight. "Hey. I have a question for you," Tyler said, his hand smoothing over Bentley's arms, "do you think it would be okay with you, if I date your Mommy? I promise that I'll treat her real good, and you should know that I love her lots."

Bentley just kind of checked Tyler out, his eyes focused on Tyler.

"What do you think?" Tyler asked, his voice even higher than it was before, and now Bentley smiled. "Does that mean yes? I think that means yes."

You were a little surprised when Tyler picked Bentley up, laying back down with him, his baby resting on his belly. "Guess what?" He said to you, and Bentley moved his head to find you. "He said it's okay."

"I heard," you smiled, listen up, kissing Tyler's cheek and then Bentley's. "Your cheeks are so chubby, I think you're growing."

"I thought I stopped a few years ago, but," Tyler said, laughing as you rolled your eyes, fixing Bentley's sleeper.

"I think he's gonna be tall, like you," you said, "You're outgrowing all of your clothes, aren't you?"

"Is he tall for babies his age?"

"I don't know if he is now," you said, "they tell you what percentile they're in at their check-ups, but I had to reschedule his 2 month appointment appointment because he has to get s-h-o-t-eses and they don't want to do that because he's sick."

"So sex is fine but shots isn't?" Tyler laughed.

"Because shots is a bad word," you said, and Tyler continued to laugh.

"Can I come with you guys?"

"Yeah, you already said you would, because," you said, making the motion of a needle with your hand.

"I meant in general, to see how he's doing and stuff, not just to protect you from sharp objects," Tyler teased, but you nodded in understanding.

"Yeah, you can come to any of his doctor appointments you want."

"'K," Tyler said, looking back at Bentley now as he pushed against Tyler's chest, lifting his head up to look at him. "Hey, what's up?"

"His neck muscles are so strong," you said, and then you moved back so you didn't get a tail in the face as the dogs came to see what Bentley was doing.

"You guys have too much energy," Tyler said, turning his face towards you, "Hey, do you want me to make you coffee and breakfast, or do you want to w-a-l-k with him and take these guys to the dog p-a-r-k and get some coffee out?"

"We can go out," you said, "but don't you have to go to the gym?"

"Trying to get rid of me already?"

"Of course not," you said, and Tyler smiled.

"I can go later," Tyler said, "I just know you wanted to get some fresh air again, with him. And it's nice out right now."

"And he's happy," you said.

"And he's happy," Tyler agreed. "Want me to get him changed while you get ready?"

"Sure," you said, and Tyler grinned, standing up with Bentley.

"What outfit would you like to wear to the park?" Tyler asked, turning back and forth with Bentley in his arms until the dogs clamored off the bed at the word 'park'. "Goddamnit," Tyler mumbled, as they started running around the house excitedly. "Calm down, guys." You made sure Cash had his breakfast before you got dressed yourself, throwing your hair up in a bun like you always did, before you heard singing coming from Bentley's room.

Tyler had Bentley changed and was holding him up now, one hand moving his arms as he sang, "I love you, you love me," Tyler caught your eye and laughed a little, "we're a happy family. With a great big hug," Tyler squeezed Bentley, "and a kiss from me to you," he held Bentley out in front of him and started chasing around the dogs. "Give him loves."

And then he held Bentley up in front of you, moving him back and forth. "Won't you say you love me, too?"

"Are you singing the song from Barney?" You laughed.

"Yeah," Tyler said, "he said 'won't you say you love me, too?"

"I do love you," you said, kissing Bentley's cheek and then running your hand over it.

"What about me?" Tyler asked, smiling so his cheeks were big and rosy.

"I love you, too," you said, trying to kiss his cheek, but then his lips caught yours, and then your hand was coming to cup his cheek and then settling on his bare shoulder and it was only the sensation of your baby's legs kicking against you and the feeling of the dogs circling you that broke you apart. "Okay, okay," you said. "Where are your guy's leashes? Go find them."

Tyler laughed, and then he handed Bentley over to you and went back into your bedroom, while you got Bentley's things ready, all of you meeting by the front door, where the dogs were already waiting, panting excitedly like they'd already had their walk, not like they hadn't even left yet.

"Are you putting tennis balls in his diaper bag?" Tyler laughed.

"They're for the dogs," you said, "I don't want to take the stroller, I want him close to one of us, because I still don't want him around germs and stuff while he's still feeling better."

"Oh yeah," Tyler said, and you smiled at him, the baby wrap in one hand.

"Do you want to wear him?" you asked.

"Uh, yeah," Tyler said, and you set Bentley down in his stroller for a moment, putting the wrap around Tyler's neck, and then starting to tie and loop it around his body. "I didn't know you were into bondage," he said, and you gave him a look. "I mean, if you wanted to tie me up, you could have just asked."

"Stop it," you whispered harshly, your lips giving you away and curving up in a hint of a smile, and Tyler laughed. "Oh," you said, lifting up Bentley now that he was fussing, "I know, you just want to be held, huh? Uncle Ty-ty's gonna hold you."

You helped Tyler hold Bentley to his chest, putting Bentley's legs where he needed to be, and then pulling the wrap up, Bentley's body all curled up against him now. "How does it feel?"

"Good," Tyler said, his hand under Bentley's bum, moving back and forth. "It doesn't feel like he's going to fall out or anything."

"He won't" you said, tilting your head at Bentley, who had his head resting against Tyler's chest, his eyes still open. "You can pull this part up if he falls asleep, or his head feels like it's wobbling around."

"Oh, you want your arm out," Tyler said, still watching Bentley as he put his sunglasses on, pulling his phone out to take a picture. "I feel like my phone is filled with pictures of him."

"Yeah, mine too," you said, putting leashes onto all of the dogs. "I don't know what to do with all of them."

"You want a Instagram account, Bentley?" Tyler asked him, "I bet you'd get so many babes liking your pictures, you'd like that, huh? But I don't think your Mommy would be too happy if you got a girlfriend, she'd say you're too young."

"He's always gonna be too young," you said, pulling your hair tight once more, "Besides, what if he's gay?"

"Umm...girls are still gonna love him," Tyler said, "Have you seen him?"

"I have seen him," you smiled, leaning in to kiss Bentley.

"I feel like I'm pregnant," Tyler said, pattng the baby extended in front of him.

"It's not quite like that," you said.

"What? It's not this easy?" Tyler teased. "How do we look, though?"

"So cute," you said, kissing him once more and then throwing the bag on your back, Tyler holding open the door as you lead the dogs out.

"Oh, are you so excited?" Tyler asked. "Mommy's probably excited for coffee."

"Mommy is very excited for coffee," you said, walking the short distance to the Starbucks near your house, noticing that Tyler had one hand on the baby at all times, like he was going to fall out if he didn't, but Bentley looked completely content, but your free hands fell together, and you looking at him and smiled. Once you got to Starbucks, you left Tyler outside with the dogs, asking him what he wanted before you went in.

You immediately spotted your friend Brooke behind the counter, waving at you as you came in. "No Bentley today?" she asked.

"He's outside with Tyler and the dogs," you said, trying hard to keep the smile off your face when you said Tyler's name, only because you weren't sure if he was ready to tell people you were a thing. Then again, he was probably already attracting a enough attention, with the baby strapped to his chest. But he clearly didn't mind, you thought, looking out the window, where he looked relaxed at the bench you'd left him at. "He's had an ear infection, so I'm just kind of trying to keep him away from a bunch of people. I can get Tyler to bring him in so you can say hi though."

"Oh poor baby. I'll come out and bring your stuff," she said, shooing you away after you'd ordered a couple of iced coffee drinks and your breakfast, "I'm gonna go on break soon anyways, you just got here in time to see me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling almost knowingly, and then you couldn't even argue with her over the sound of the espresso machine.

"There she is," Tyler said, smiling over Bentley's head.

"Brooke's gonna bring our stuff out for us."

"Awesome," Tyler said, smiling, his fingers intertwining with yours, setting them on the table in front of you, his thumb moving back and forth, sending a pleasant heat through your palm.

It hadn't been but a few moments before the door opened and Brooke walked out with the two coffees and a small bag with the food. She glanced between Tyler and I, her eyes looking down at the table for a brief moment before a smirk grew on her face.

"I knew it!" She said, setting the coffees and food down on the table, before taking a seat across from us. "I'm so happy for you two," She smiled.

"Took me long enough, eh?" Tyler asked.

"It kind of did," Brooke smiled. "It was about time."

Tyler laughed. "It was a little my fault, too " you said.

"It happened when it was supposed to happen," Tyler said, kissing you on the cheek. "Finally, though."

"And, hey, Benny, how are you?" Brooke asked, moving her head in Bentley's eyesight.

"Awe, give her a smile," Tyler said.

You didn't stay for much longer, just until Brooke went back to work and while you ate your oatmeal and Tyler his breakfast sandwich, and then you walked over to the park with your coffees and the dogs.

And you got to hold his hand again.

"You guys want to play?" you asked the dogs, who were straining at their leashes, unclipping them, and then setting your backpack down on the picnic table, digging through it for the tennis balls you had brought, tossing them on the ground.

"Get 'em," Tyler said, and you watched as Gerry chased his right across the ground, swatting at it with his paw, right until it flew into a prickle bush, and then he backed up, looking at both of you like he was expecting you to crawl and go get it for him. "I guess you're not gonna see your ball again," Tyler laughed, looking at you.

"Oh, they're just old tennis balls, my neighbour plays and he gives them to me for the dogs when he's done," you said, "I think he thinks they're my dogs."

"Well, they are your dogs," Tyler said, leaning his head against you momentarily, and then laughing, because Cash was practically glued to his side, looking up at the baby. "I actually think they're really Bentley's dogs."

"It's gonna be awesome," you said, "That he gets to grow up with dogs."

"Yeah, good thing he's not allergic," Tyler grinned at you, and then started laughing.

"I had a lot of hormones!" you defended yourself, laughing, and then you bent down, rubbing Bentley's head. "You can be anything you want, but you just have to love dogs."

"He's trying to look around," Tyler said, "are you tired of staring at my shirt?"

"You can take him out," you said, "he's too little to face out."

"He can face out?" Tyler asked, pulling Bentley out.

"Yeah, he just needs to grow a bit more, otherwise it can mess up his hips."

"Awe, you'll like that," Tyler said, one arm going underneath to support Bentley's legs so he was looking out, and then sitting down beside you at the picnic table, feeling rather happy it wasn't busy at the park, considering it was a Monday morning.

"And you used to be scared to walk while you were holding him," you smiled, tilting your head. "Now look at you."

"I'm a fast learner," Tyler said, "Plus I realized babies are a lot more durable than they look."

But all you could think was that he just looked natural.

"Are you eating more chocolate?" Tyler laughed, as you opened up the bag, breaking off a piece of your chocolate chunk muffin and eating it happily.

"I love chocolate," you said, "And I'm so hungry, I'm eating for him, too."

"Yeah, but you did not eat this much when you were pregnant," Tyler laughed.

"Well, he's bigger," you said, and Tyler started giggling, "Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not, you're so cute," Tyler said, reaching his thumb out to brush your lip. "Especially when you've got chocolate on your lips."

He held his mouth open though, leaning towards you.

"What do you want?" you laughed.

"A bite, you'd said you'd share," he pouted.

"Yeah, help yourself," you said, sliding it towards him.

"No, feed me," he said, "I'm holding the baby."

"You just touched me!"

"Please," Tyler said, and you sighed and then laughed, breaking off a piece of the muffin and then holding it towards his lips, letting him take it from you, and then he reached up, grabbing your hand and then pulling your finger back between his lips, flicking his tongue around it. "There was chocolate, I was helping," he explained.

"Oh, where you?"

"Mhmm.." he smiled, "I'm so helpful."

And then Tyler sucked your finger into his mouth again, his brown eyes connecting with yours as he got the remaining melted chocolate.

But then he just took your hand, holding it in his lap and lifting it to his mouth every now and again, kissing your knuckles as he looked at you, and you could feel that he was smiling from how his lips felt on your skin, and the look in his eyes. And you realized that even though you knew Tyler so well, you didn't really know what being in a relationship with Tyler was like.

But you couldn't wait to find out.

"Gerry!" Tyler yelled suddenly. "Get off!"

You looked up to see Gerry licked a young girl on the face, and then jumped up to look in the stroller her mother was pushing, and then back onto the little girl who was laughing, seemingly not bothered by it at all.

"Gerry, c'mhere!" You yelled, running over, "I'm sorry, he's friendly."

"It's alright," her mom said, when you got there, even though Gerry was sitting down and being petted now, "she loves dogs."

"Are these all your dogs?" The little girl asked in wonder.

"Yep," Tyler said, from behind you, and you turned to see that he had walked over with Bentley. "Sorry about that, he takes after his mother, she jumps up on people and kisses them all the time."

"Is that your baby?" She asked now, standing up on her tiptoes, clearly not understanding Tyler's joke. "He's cute."

"Thank you," Tyler said, "you're pretty cute, too."

And, apparently, he could make a three year old blush, too.

"I have a baby brother," she said now, spinning on her toe, "do you want to see him?"

"Sure," Tyler said, and she stood up on the side of the stroller, looking in at the baby, who had toys in his hands.

"He likes your baby," the little girl said.

"Say 'hi', Bentley," Tyler said, waving Bentley's arms.

"Okay, say bye-bye, sweetheart," the girl's mother said, "we've got to get going to preschool."

"Bye-bye," she said, and then started running ahead.

"Bye," you said.

"Um..she was adorable," Tyler said, and you smiled, because you could hear her still talking as she walked away.

"She was," you agreed. "I'm pretty sure she thought you were adorable, too."

"Oh, are you jealous?" Tyler asked.

"No, I'm not jealous," you laughed.

"Good, you shouldn't be," Tyler said, leaning into you, and kissing softly, once and then twice. "I'm taken."

You smiled, and then looked at the little girl walking away still, who was singing now, and you smiled again.

"Please don't get into a cat fight with a little girl," Tyler said.

"I am not going to," you shook your head.

"I see you sizing her up," Tyler grinned, "Or is it her mother you're looking at?"

"Stop it," you said, playfully hitting him in the arm, and then Gerry started jumping up all over you, and you laughed, bending down to pet him. "Where's your ball, huh? You want to play?"

You started moving back and forth and then Gerry got really excited and started zooming around the park, with Marshall following after him.

"Run, Cash, run," Tyler said, but Cash just walked along with you, his tail going. "You're supposed to work out."

"He's exercising his tail," you said, and Tyler laughed again. "Look how happy he is."

"Chubby and happy," Tyler said, looking down at Bentley in his arms, "You're getting chubby and happy, too. Look at those cheeks."

Bentley started fussing then, and you tried not to laugh as Tyler passed him over to you, and you rocked him back and forth. "I'm sorry," Tyler said, crouching down in front of him, "You just wanted Mama, huh? You could see her, but you still missed her, yeah, I get it."

You walked around, watching as Tyler played with the dogs, and looking down at Bentley.

"Look, he's following them with his eyes."

"Yeah, he is," Tyler smiled, and then laughed, "He doesn't know which one to keep his eyes on though, his eyes are going all over the place."

"I think he can see better now," you said, bouncing him a little, "Like, I feel like he can see me further across the room."

"Yeah, he's always looking for you," Tyler said, "Like, where's my mom? And then he finds you and his whole face lights up."

"He does?"

"Oh yeah, he totally knows you're his mom," Tyler said. "Either that , or he's like, hey, those are my boobs over there."

"Oh thanks," you said sarcastically, and Tyler laughed.

"Nah, he usually looks at your eyes," Tyler said, "Besides, you're so much more than boobs."

"Thanks, babe," you said dryly, and Tyler laughed again, leaning over to wrap his arm around you, pulling you so he could kiss you on the cheek.

"I love it when you call me babe," Tyler said.

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm," he said, kissing you on the lips now. "It's better than when you call me dickhead."

"I have never called you–" you started and then Tyler started laughing. "Tyler!"

Once Bentley got fussy, he went back in his carrier with Tyler and his pacifier, falling asleep as you finished up at the park, and then walked back home.

"Oh, now you're awake," Tyler said, once you'd gotten back home, and the dogs were all laying down on the carpet. "Did you just fall asleep so I could carry you home?"

"He's probably getting hungry," you said, holding your arms out for him. Only he didn't seem to want to sleep, or eat.

"What is up?" you asked, laying him down on the floor under his play gym, and tickling his belly. "You don't want to nap?"

"He doesn't want to nap?" Tyler asked, coming out of the bedroom after he'd gotten changed. "Why are you doing that?"

"I don't know," you answered, "but he's happy, so I don't care, "Are you doing tummy time?"

"He's trying," you laughed, because Bentley was making a lot of noises as he tried to lift himself up. "He hasn't done it for a few days, he's trying to figure out how to do it again."

"He's just getting warmed up," Tyler said, and you laughed because both Marshall and Cash were crawling closer to him, their noses moving towards his face, like they could help him. "He's got it."

"There you go," you said. "Good job, baby."

"Gerry's like 'look at me, I can lift my head up, too'."

You laughed, "Good job, Gerry," and then he rolled over so you could rub his belly.

Tyler laughed, and then went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, while you watched Bentley.

"What are you doing?" you asked the baby, and then you said, "Tyler, come here!"

"What?" he asked.

"He's trying to roll over," you said, placing him back on his belly. "He got his whole upper body turned around, just not his legs."

"You got a new trick?" Tyler asked.

"Bentley," you said, laying on the other side of him, beside Cash, "I'm over here, c'mon."

He was struggling, though his arm getting stuck under him, and you realized his fist was tight in Cash's fur. "Oh, let go," you said.

"Cash, you gotta move bud," Tyler laughed, "He'd totally just let him pull out all of his hair."

"I know," you grimaced, finally uncurling Bentley's hand and then petting Cash. "He tried to grab onto stuff but then I don't think he knows how to let go."

"That's a good boy," Tyler said, patting Cash, "You can say something to us if he's hurting you by accident though, so we can help you."

Cash still seemed more preoccupied with Bentley though.

"C'mon, you can do it," Tyler said to Bentley, who was laying on his side now, wiggling until gravity took over, and he flipped onto his back, looking up at you with a bit of surprise on his face.

"Awe, good job," you said, rubbing his belly, and then the dogs came in to kiss him.

"Is he supposed to be doing this so soon?" Tyler asked, and you shrugged.

"I have no idea, but his neck muscles have always been really strong."

"Yeah, they are," Tyler smiled, leaning down to kiss you, "I gotta go."

"Can you help me with his antibiotics really quick before you go?"

"Yeah, sure," Tyler said, going into the kitchen and grabbing them, while you picked up Bentley and held him while Tyler gave him the right dose. "There you go," Tyler said when he was done, rubbing Bentley's head, and then he kissed you once more. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay," you smiled.

"Bye, Bentley, have fun with your baby workout," Tyler said.

"Bye, have fun with your adult workout," you said as if Bentley was speaking, watching his eyes following Tyler.

"Well, I wasn't really planning to do an adult workout," Tyler smirked, and you rolled your eyes.

"You know what I mean," you said.

"No, I don't, what did you mean?"

"Tyler," you said sternly, and he laughed, bending over to kiss you on the forehead. "You're supposed to be leaving."

"How come you're always trying to get rid of me?"

"Because the sooner you leave, the sooner you get to come back."

Tyler smiled, kissing you on the lips once more before he left.

You, meanwhile, played with Bentley a little longer, and then you fed him and put him down for a nap, while you changed your bed sheets and were contemplating if you had enough time to take a quick shower when all hell broke loose.

It was probably an hour later, when you thought that Tyler would be close to coming home, that you kept one hand splayed over Bentley's belly as he laid in his swing as you called Tyler.

"Hey babe," Tyler answered, "what's up with him?"

"You can hear him?"

"Yes."

"He's just... having some issues," you said. "He'll be okay."

"Do you need me to come home?"

"No, we're okay," you said, "I was calling to ask if you could pick up something for dinner on your way and bring it back? Please?"

"Yeah, I can pick up dinner," Tyler said. "I can also make us something too, though."

"I kind of just want you to come and hang on the couch with me when you get home, not be in the kitchen."

"Okay," Tyler said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "What do you want?"

"You can decide," you said, rocking Bentley in his swing, "you know what I like."

"Yeah, I do," Tyler said, "you need anything else?"

"Nope, just you."

"I'll be home soon," Tyler said.

"Okay, bye."

"I love you," Tyler said, and you stopped where you were, smiling, and running your hand through your hair.

"I love you."

Thankfully, by the time that Tyler got back, Bentley was curled up against you in his diaper, a blanket draped over you both, and the dogs surrounding you, and the pre-game on the T.V., mostly because you needed background noise. You could tell, by the way that he opened the door, and the sound of his feet that he was trying to be quiet in case the baby was sleeping, and he slowly padded into the living room, smiling when he saw you. What you weren't expecting was for him to pull his phone out in front of his face, grinning as he walked around.

"Tyler," you said, pulling the blanket tighter around you, "my boobs are out."

Or at least one was, you thought, not really sure when you'd transitioned from feeding him to him falling asleep on you.

"I can't see anything," Tyler grinned.

"Well, I don't really want–" you said, moving your head, and feeling your bun slip a little, realizing the elastic wasn't secure anymore.

"Oh, I'm not showing this one to anyone," Tyler said, "I am going to have it framed, though, and I'm gonna hang it in my bedroom right next to that picture of you eating grilled cheese in the bath."

"Oh, that's flattering."

"It is," Tyler said, kissing you on the cheek, "I don't think you know how cute you are."

You didn't know what to say, because he just kept saying stuff, like he was still trying to send out signals that he was into you, and trying to make you laugh or smile, or just notice him. Except before, when there was this tension and unrest within you, now you could just smile and appreciate it, knowing that you could just relax into those feelings now, and that you could just smile at him, without having to say or explain anything at all.

"Oh, hi sweetheart," Tyler said, softly now, and you realized the Bentley was blinking his eyes open, Tyler running his hand over Bentley's head, and then fixing the blanket around him. "Oh, you're actually not wearing a shirt. Why are you not wearing a shirt?"

"Because I was trying to feed him, and he was upset, and sometimes doing skin-to-skin with him calms him down," you said.

"Is that why he's naked, too?"

"Yes," you laughed, and Tyler tilted his head, looking at you, and then eyeing the strap that was hanging down from your shoulder.

"Do you want that done up?"

"Yes, please," you said, and then Tyler pulled his tongue between his lips as he attached your nursing bra back together.

"I leave for a few hours, and when I get back, there's titties out, and people are naked," Tyler said.

"It was a party," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"I'm just glad he's happy now," Tyler said, "Was it his ear?"

"I don't think so, that was more just his annoyed cry, not like he was in pain," you said, "He could just be a bit out of sorts, though, he's had a rough couple of days. And I think he was just really tired, and then he just wanted to eat, but then he didn't want to eat. I don't know, he's just resting now," you said, kissing Bentley on the head.

"Yeah, when you're tired you should sleep, not cry," Tyler said, kissing Bentley's forehead.

You smiled down at him, and then he started mouthing towards you, letting you know that he was hungry. "Oh, so now you want to eat," you said, lifting him up, 'When I tried before, you didn't want anything to do with it."

"You're supposed to eat boobs, they're good for you," Tyler said, and then he groaned when Gerry jumped up on him on the couch, falling backyards into the pillow.

"Did you miss me?" Tyler asked. "You need attention? It is pretty hard being the big brother, huh? You're not used to it."

You smiled, continuing to feed Bentley until your phone rang. "Could you see who that is, please?"

"Well, it's not me because I'm here, so I don't know who else you could possibly want to talk to," Tyler said, grinning at you, "It's Danielle."

You held your hand out for the phone but swiped his fingers across the phone instead. "Hi, Dani," Tyler said. "Y/N's got a baby on her boob, she can't talk right now, sorry."

"Tyler!"

Tyler laughed, and then he said, "No, good. How are you?" he asked, listening to her response, while he mouthed towards you, pointing back and forth between the two of you, "Does she know about us?"

You shook your head, and then the next thing you knew, Tyler had her connected on Facetime and was sitting down next to you, leaning his head against your shoulder.

"Hi," you said, "how's it going?"

"I'm good," she smiled, "how are you doing? And how's Bentley doing?"

"Better," you said, "he's getting there."

"Well, how–" Danielle started, and then you could feel Tyler's cheek against yours. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Just happy," Tyler said, moving to kiss your cheek and then moving his head back to where it was before, and then you could see the confused expression on your best friend's face. "Aren't you happy, Danielle?"

"Well, yeah, but," she said, her eyes moving back and forth between the two of you like she was still trying to figure it out, and you were trying to keep your smile under control for just a minute longer, but you were certain you were failing. "Do you guys know something I don't? Like, am I missing a joke?"

"No joke," Tyler said.

"Then why are you both smiling like that?"

"Smiling like what?"

"Like..." she said.

"Like we're in love or something?" Tyler asked, turning his head towards you, and he kissed you softly, once and then twice, his hand coming up to cup your jaw. "Maybe because we are."

You both turned back to the phone, smiling, and you saw Danielle's hand very slowly come up to cover her mouth, and then pulled it away, her lips curving up in smile, like she was trying not to get too excited.

"No," she said in shock, looking at you.

"Yeah," you said.

"Oh my god," she said slowly, "See, I told you you he liked you!"

"Awe, you like me?" Tyler asked, turning to you in mock wonder.

"You know I like you," you said.

"I know," Tyler said, kissing you a couple times more. "But I'm never going to get tired of hearing it."

"You guys are so cute."

"I know we are," Tyler said, kissing you on the temple, and you pulled Bentley up now that he was done eating, laying him across the blanket still draped across your chest, rubbing his back. "He wants you to tell him he's cute, too."

"Hi cute boy," she said, "I'm glad to hear you're feeling better."

"Awe, are you gonna go back to sleep?" You asked, looking down at his eyes, which he looked like he was having a hard time keeping awake.

"He's tired," Tyler explained, "he had to take his dogs for a walk, then he had to come home and do his exercising, and then he had to cry before he'd cuddle with Mama."

"It sounds like he's had a busy day."

"He has," you laughed, "he's been the happiest and most awake since he's got sick, but now I think he's pretty tired."

"Yeah, well, I'll let you get some rest, I just wanted to check in, make sure you guys were doing okay."

"I'm here," Tyler smiled, his arm wrapping around you.

"I know you are," she smiled.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," you said.

"Yeah, whenever you've got time," she said.

"By the way, even though we're dating now, I'm still her best friend," Tyler said quickly, hanging up before Danielle even had a chance to respond.

"Tyler," you laughed.

"What?" He asked, leaning over to pull the blanket up around Bentley a little more, his hand settled on his back for a moment, and then when redoing your bra strap. "Do your boobs hurt?"

"Do my boobs hurt?" You repeated.

"Yeah, like from feeding him."

"No?" You questioned, "I mean they did in the beginning, but not now."

"Good," Tyler said.

"What's that look for?"

"Then he can have the right side, and I can have the left," Tyler said, and you laughed when he curled up beside you, resting his head on your chest. "You're laughing like I'm joking, but I'm not. We agreed to share like this, and it's better if he has thr right side, because it's easier for you to hold him. This is really comfortable, your boobs got even bigger, that's why i thought they might hurt."

"Well, i fed him on the other side, so that one's full of milk."

"Yeah,you fed him on his side."

"I'm gonna have to feed him on the other side, you know, otherwise I'm gonna be lopsided."

Tyler laughed against you. "Him and I have already talked about that though."

"Oh, did you?"

"Mhmm.." Tyler smiled, pulling up to kiss you on the lips. "We'll trade, temporarily, if we need to. You don't have worry about it at all."

"Well, I'm so glad you figured out what I'm gonna do with my body," you laughed.

"Did you ask him before you took his clothes off?"

"No, I did not," you laughed.

"Well, you can take my clothes off whenever you want without asking, too," he said, holding his hands above his head like he was expecting you to undress him right now, kissing you playfully all over the temple. "Skin-to-skin, it's so calming."

You laughed again, your hand still rubbing up and down Bentley's back.

"I asked if your boobs hurt, you could have said 'no'," Tyler said, sitting up, "I thought you wanted to cuddle."

"I do," you said, kissing Tyler once more, and he laid back down against you, your hand coming up to wrap around his head, threading through his hair, him occasionally kissing Bentley or you, petting the dogs as you relaxed and watched the hockey game.

You didn't want anything more.


	58. Chapter 58

Your house was honestly crazy - it felt like there was always someone barking, or crying, or dishes and laundry to be done. And when you had something that you actually had to be out the door on time for, like Bentley's doctor's appointment today, it seemed even crazier, but you kind of loved it.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

It was calm, now, though, with Bentley sleeping and Tyler gone, and the dogs sleeping on the couch, except for Gerry, who had found himself a place in the glider in your bedroom, and you felt like you had time to have a shower before Tyler got home, carefully carrying Bentley in his bouncer into the bathroom, setting it down on the floor.

"Oh, no, don't wake up," you whispered, when he blinked his eyes open, looking at you sleepily, and you put the pacifier back towards him, rocking his bouncer with your foot after he took it. "Are you gonna let Mommy have a shower?"

He seemed to relax back into sleep, even as you turned the shower on so you undressed and got in, letting the warm water run over your body, and taking a minute to yourself. Usually you just tried to get in and out as fast as possible but, when you still didn't hear Bentley crying after you shampooed your hair, you decided to let your conditioner sit in your hair for a few minutes while you shaved your legs, which was something you were pretty sure you hadn't done properly since Bentley was born.

You heard your front door open a few minutes later, and then you could swear you heard Tyler talking to the dogs. When the bathroom door cracked open, you barely even flinched, assuming Tyler was coming in to get Bentley, but, the next thing you knew, you saw a flash of skin out of the corner of your eye, and then the shower door opened, and Tyler's arms were sliding around you from behind, leaning his chin on your shoulder. "I needed a shower and you were already in here, so you're gonna have to move over."

"I have another shower," you laughed, stepping closer to the wall.

"Mmm..but not one that has you in it," he retorted, and you smiled, turning around to face him, his expression mirroring yours as he focused on your face.

"Hi," you said softly.

"Hi," Tyler responded back, kissing you gently on the lips, and then pulling back, a slight blush of pink on his cheeks. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," you said, your arms moving to rest on his shoulders.

"Did you?" He asked, "Or were you just happy I was gone so you could go back to sleep?"

"It was only for ten minutes," you protested, and he pulled back, giving you a look even through the water streaming around you.

"You should be resting, you were up with the baby all night," Tyler said, "you take care of him all the time, you're supposed to sleep in."

You knew he was right, but it still kind of felt good to just relax into him, his hands rubbing at your shoulders.

"It's so nice and warm in here," he muttered.

"I know, I was cold," you said, mainly because you'd been silly enough to run out to put the trash out in the rain without putting a coat on.

You weren't cold anymore, though, moving your hands up his chest as his fingers started raking through your hair, gently untangling it, without you even asking him to. And you found yourself reaching for the shampoo behind him, pouring a little into your hands, and then running it through his hair, loving the way that he shut his eyes and you sensed him relax even further under your touch. You smiled at him, because you still couldn't quite believe that you actually got to do this, that you could touch him now, without reservations, and that you got to do as many sweet things for him as you wanted to, without second guessing yourself that you were sending the wrong message.

It was different, too, because you knew him so well, it was like your lives just seamlessly blended together, but you still had those exciting flashes, like when you first fell in love with someone new.

You kind of wondered if it might be this way, forever, with him.

You washing his hair didn't really last very long, though, because then he was leaning down to you, latching on to the curve of where your shoulder meant your neck, lapping at the water that was collected there, and you moved further into him, your hands sweeping up his solid sides, steady under your touch. He stood up then, and your hand slid up his back to the curls at the back of his neck, your lips drawing together.

It was gentle, at first, moving into each other, but it steadily got more heated, building until you got lost in him, his hand curving over your hip and around your ribcage, leaning down as he kissed you, sucking on your bottom lip a little until your mouths slotted together. You could feel him growing against your belly, your breasts pressed against his chest, moving like your weren't sure quite where you were going, until your ass hit the cool tile of the shower, and you seemed to remember where you were, your lips pulling apart with a pop.

"We have to get ready," you said breathlessly.

"I know," Tyler said. Yet, still, you held each other, your eyes connected, like you could just freeze that moment as long as you didn't look away.

When you heard Bentley start crying though, Tyler leaned forward with a groan, burying his face in your neck. "Can you please, please get him?"

"Yeah," you laughed, reluctantly pulling away from the warmth.

"I need a moment to myself," Tyler said, running his hand through his hair, "and a cold shower."

You laughed under your breath as you moved around him, but he still noticed. "Don't laugh, it's your fault," he said, catching just beneath your ear with the blunt of his teeth.

"I didn't do anything," you said innocently, opening the shower door.

"Yeah, right," Tyler scoffed, the door shutting behind you and you shuffled onto the towel you'd left out, and then grabbing your robe from the hook and throwing it around you becoming distracted by Bentley's cries, even though you laughed which Tyler let out a little scream, clearly serious about the whole cold shower things.

"Oh, what's the matter?" You asked, frowning when you saw his bouncer was now facing the bathroom cabinet, not like you'd had it, facing out into the bathroom. You turned him around and then picked him up, pulling him to you. "Are you ready to get dressed?

You threw a towel down on the floor for Tyler as you went out of the bathroom, practically walking right into Gerry, who was waiting right outside the door. "You gonna go bug your dad?" You asked Gerry, letting him into the room taking Bentley into his room so you could change his diaper, and then he fused a little until you got him into a clean onesie. "Do you want a little sweater? Is that a little bit cold?"

You pulled him into his sweater and then picked him up, pulling the hood over his head, and then playing with the little ears on the top of his head. "Are you a bear?" you asked, and when he smiled, you kissed him on the forehead, "Oh, you're a Bentley bear, Bentley bear."

You turned as you bounced him, only to see Tyler standing in the doorway with a rather amused look on his face, and he snorted out a laugh.

"He likes it," you laughed. "And he looks so cute."

"He always looks cute," Tyler said, coming closer and toying with Bentley's bare toes. "You not wearing any pants today, bud?"

"He's gonna have to get undressed at the doctor's office, this is easiest," you said, "and if they give him shots, they'll be in his legs."

"Not in these little legs," Tyler said, kissing him up the legs, and Bentley smiled. Gerry, who had followed in after Tyler, came up too, jumping up like he wanted to see Bentley, and then he jumped back down, and proceed to start biting and then pulling at the tie on your robe like it was a game of tug-of-war.

"Hey, Gerry, stop that," you said, your arm holding your robe shut.

"Good boy," Tyler said, giggling when you glared at him. "He's helping me take your clothes off."

"Tyler..." you said firmly, even though he was now petting Gerry, which you knew would only reinforce his bad behaviour. "You're supposed to be helping.."

"Well, I – " Tyler started, but you both turned your head towards the noise that had interrupted him, which seemed to be coming from underneath the crib, both you and Tyler kind of stepping back a bit and then looking at each other, and then Tyler put his arm out, as if to block you, stepping towards the crib like he was ready to fight off a giant rat or raccoon or something, motioning to Gerry like he should help. You just covered your mouth, laughing though, when you saw a black paw creep out from under the bed skirt, peeking at Tyler who hadn't seemed to see it yet, and then you watched him stand up, his hands dropping to his sides when he saw the nose following as Cash crawled out from under the crib. "What the hell are you doing?" Tyler laughed, "I was ready to fight, you scared your Mom."

"I was not scared," you said, to which Tyler gave you a doubtful look.

"'Course not, 'cause I was going to protect you," Tyler said, "Gerry, you were no help àt all though."

"Because he knew it was Cash," you said, bending down to pet him, and Cash immediately started sniffing at Bentley's feet.

"What were you doing under there, bud?" Tyler asked.

"He probably thought Bentley was in his crib," you said.

"Well, thank god he wasn't, Cash might have knocked the whole thing over."

"No, he wouldn't," you said, kissing the dog on top of the head.

"You love him so much, huh?" Tyler said, rubbing Cash now, "I bet Bentley wishes you could come to the doctor with him, so you'll just have to guard his bed for him while he's gone, 'k?"

You smiled, moving past Tyler and going into the bathroom to collect the clothes that you'd left in there to get changed into, sensing everyone following after you. "Yeah, did you move his bouncer when you came in?" You asked.

"Yep."

"Oh, thank god," you said, "I thought he managed to move it around somehow, I was worried."

"You thought he moved it?" Tyler asked in disbelief.

"Well, I don't know," you laughed, "why would you move it?"

"Because I was taking my clothes off, I didn't want him to see my junk."

"You know he's a baby, right?" You asked incredulously, holding back a laugh. "I get changed in front of him all the time."

"Yeah, but he came out of you, so.."

"Well, he came out of you, too," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"He was sleeping, okay?" Tyler said, "I didn't want him to wake up with a dick in his face."

"Well, how big do you think your dick is?" you quipped, and Tyler just deadpan shook his face, and then he laughed, his fingers tucking into your side, planting little playful pecks all over your cheeks, muttering 'stop it' in your ear.

"Hi," Tyler cooed, grinning when Bentley looked over at him and then smiled, "'K, what did you want me to do to help you get ready?"

"You can take him," you said, and Tyler immediately reached out his arms, pulling Bentley into his body, and swaying a little.

"You already got all his stuff ready?"

"Yeah," you said, and then thought it over again. "Actually, there's milk in the fridge for him, you could put in into one of his bottles so we can take it with us?"

"Are you gonna show me where your bottles are?" Tyler asked Bentley.

"They're—"

"I know where they are," Tyler said, turning his head to grin at you as he left the room. "I'm just talking to him."

"Okay," you smiled, going into your bedroom to get changed. You were in the bathroom, rubbing BB cream all over your face when Tyler came back, holding Bentley in one arm, facing out towards you. "Hey, did you guys get your bottle packed?"

"We did," Tyler smiled, "Hey, how come you're taking a bottle for him?"

"In case he gets hungry," you said, putting the cap back on your make-up and then opening your mascara.

"Well, duh," Tyler said, "I meant why are you taking a bottle rather than feeding him yourself?"

You stopped halfway to where you had the mascara want to your lashes, looking at him. "I thought you liked giving him a bottle, I mean, I can give it to him, you don't –"

"That's not what I meant, I love feeding him," Tyler grinned, bouncing Bentley, "I was just wondering why you made that choice. Like, I'm trying to learn when you give him a bottle and when you don't."

"Oh, there's no reason," you said, easily now, setting your heels back down on the bathroom tile. "Sometimes I just find it hard to feed him in public."

"Because you don't want everyone to see your boobs?"

"Yep," you said, and then looked at Tyler, watching a smile creep onto his face as he sat down on the bathroom counter, Bentley on his lap.

"Free the nipple," he chanted, waving Bentley's arm with each word. "Free the nipple."

Tyler burst out laughing at himself, and you shook your head and smiled a bit at his own amusement. "Obviously I'll feed him whenever he wants, but I just love that you can feed him too, and it's kind of easier to do it when we're out. Plus I don't know how much if he'd like a bottle before he goes to sleep."

"Yeah, he probably wants boobs before bed," Tyler said, leaning around where he was holding Bentley to smile at him, even though Bentley's eyes were following you as you leaned forward, putting on your mascara now. "I used to sit on the counter and watch my mom put on her make-up, too."

"Awe, you did?" You asked softly, because it seemed awesome to think about Bentley as a little boy, hanging out with you as you got ready.

"Yeah," Tyler said, "I think mainly my mom just made me do that so I wouldn't get into trouble, but he's like, 'Wow, look how pretty my mom is.'"

"Is that him saying that, or you just trying to compliment me?" You asked, smiling slyly as you put everything away in your drawer and Tyler stood up with Bentley, following you as you flicked the light off.

"Him," Tyler said, "Although he's 100% right, and I completely agree."

You leaned together, your lips meeting again, and smiling together until you pulled away, realizing that all three dogs were trailing after you towards the front door. "I'm sorry, guys, you can't come," you said, leaning down to pet them as you reached for your shoes.

"Marshall, you're in charge. Gerry, don't do anything stupid," Tyler said firmly, and you tried not to laugh, because he was bouncing Bentley at the same time, like he didn't want the baby to think he was in trouble, Tyler looking at you with a little apprehension. "Do you think we should take them to my place?"

"No, they'll be fine," you said.

"Have you met Gerry?" Tyler countered, kicking the straps on Bentley's car seat out of the way with his foot, and then cradling him as he set him inside.

"Yes," you laughed, "He stayed with me for a month and he didn't get into anything he shouldn't."

"Yeah, but he's mischievous when he's around me, look at the look on his face."

"He's just sad he's not going with us," you said, kissing Gerry on the head, who was now seeming concerned at Bentley fussing as he was getting buckled into his car seat.

"I just don't want him to destroy your stuff."

"I have a baby, I'm used to my stuff being destroyed," you said, thinking now, that Tyler hadn't ever really left since you'd called him that night last week, he'd pretty much just moved in, and you'd thought absolutely nothing of it at all, like it just seemed natural.

"Hey..." Tyler said now, and you looked up at him, realizing that you were tightening the straps around Bentley like you always did. "I was gonna do that."

"Oh sorry," you said sheepishly, stepping away. "Habit."

"So what do I need to do?" Tyler asked now, and you smiled.

"Just tighten it so you can just put two fingers between the strap and his body."

"That seems like it's too tight," Tyler says, huffing as he pulled in and Bentley really started crying now.

"Yeah, it's supposed to be," you said, "It keeps him safe, we want him to be safe."

"Yeah, we do," Tyler said, as he finished getting the strap fixed, and then nodded for you to check it.

"He's all good," you said, as Tyler picked the car seat up, swaying it back and forth like he was trying to soothe Bentley. "Are you going to cry until we let you out of there?"

"No...." Tyler drug the word out, "Car rides make him emotional, don't judge."

You laughed under your breath as Tyler grabbed your keys from the hook by the door. "Do you want me to drive?" You asked.

"No, you can ride in the back with him,"

Tyler said, unlocking the door and then handing the keys to you so you could lock the front door, you figured, but Tyler frowned at you from where he was putting Bentley into the back though. "I think you need the diaper bag, babe," Tyler laughed.

"Oh, right," you said dumbly, grabbing it from where it was sitting, all ready to go, right next to where the car seat was. Tyler was leaning in the backseat but stood up, a toy in his hand when you came back out and he laughed at you a little. "You distract me, okay?" you said, half exasperated.

"In a good way or a bad way?" Tyler asked, smirking, flipping the toy around his finger.

"The best way possible," you said, leaning over to kiss him, and he smiled against you, waiting until your crawled into the backseat before he shut the door behind you.

"Well, he's not crying," Tyler said, once you started driving.

"Yeah, but he looks really mad," you said, laughing and scrunched up your face, imitating him.

"So he turned into an old man?"

"Kinda, yeah," you laughed.

"Well, I'm sure he'll be happy once you get him out of there."

"Not if he has to get shots, he won't be."

"Is that you talking or him talking?" Tyler laughed.

"Both," you said, "I'm not going to be happy either way."

"You're not going to be happy if he doesn't have to get shots?"

"No, because then that means he's still sick."

"So you're just not gonna be happy at all today?" Tyler smiled, meeting your eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Well, I'm happy you're coming with us," you smiled.

"Me too," Tyler said, smiling at you again. "So what do they do at these things?"

"Weight him, measure him," you said, playing with Bentley's hands, "Listen to his heart, and his lungs, check his eyes and his ears, and answer any questions we might have."

"Do we have any questions?"

"Well, I want to ask about getting him onto a schedule, but other than that, not really," you said, "do you?"

"Am I supposed to?" Tyler asked, in a tone that was reminiscent of when he was unprepared for a test.

"No," you said. "But you can ask, if you think of something. Sometimes I do when they're checking him."

"Mmk..." Tyler said easily. Once you got there, you pulled Bentley out of his car seat, tucking him against you and inhaling his baby scent. "He did better, huh?" Tyler asked, leaning around you to grab the bag.

"Yep," you said, kissing him on the forehead. "I think he's starting to realize there's toys above him he can look at."

"Well, duh," Tyler said, looking at Bentley as you walked inside. "Mama wouldn't make you just sit back there and stare at nothing."

"It'll be good once he can actually hold onto stuff and play, I think."

"Yeah," Tyler said, as you stepped into the office, "Oh, there's toys here!"

"Well, it's a doctor's office for children," you said, laughing at him.

"Yeah, yeah," Tyler said, rolling his eyes at you but laughing too, and you smiled towards the receptionist.

"Want to take him so I can go check him in?" you asked, and Tyler nodded, so you switched him the baby for the bag, so you could pull Bentley's medical card out of your wallet. When you came back, Tyler was sitting in an extremely small chair that you were pretty sure was not intended for a grown man to sit on, with Bentley in his lap, running a finger along the beads on the coaster table to take them to the top, and then dropping them back down, watching Bentley's face like he was expecting him to think it was the coolest thing ever.

"He's more interested in the T.V. show," Tyler laughed, "How come they didn't have movies in doctor's offices when we were kids?"

"I don't know," you said, smoothing your hand over Bentley's head, "He doesn't know how good he has it."

"Yeah, when I was a baby I had to crawl myself to the doctor, we didn't even have cars back then."

"Okay, grandpa," you said sarcastically,

"You want to come sit on my lap, little girl?" Tyler said, patting the other leg.

"Tyler," you whispered harshly, looking behind you, "Stop that."

He laughed loudly, and you covered your face with your hand, shaking your head, and feeling rather thankful that there weren't any other children around.

"Y/N"? The receptionist said after a moment, "You guys can take him into room two, and Sally'll be in in a minute to weight him."

"Okay, thank you," you said, standing up with the bag and Tyler with Bentley, who slowed down when he saw her smiling at Bentley.

"He's adorable."

"Thank you," you smiled big.i

"That's what we say to him all the time, huh?" Tyler said, kissing Bentley's cheek until he smiled. It wasn't long after than Bentley was laid out on the the exam table in his diaper, squirming and crying as he got his length and head circumference measurements taken.

"He doesn't like having his clothes off," you explained.

"That's okay," she said. "It is a little cold out today."

"It's not that cold, he's just acting like a baby," Tyler said, and then laughed at himself. "He does that sometimes, I don't know why."

"Oh my god," you said under your breath, and the nurse just kind of laughed halfheartedly.

"Not funny?" Tyler asked.

"I've heard that one a time or two," she admitted, fixing the blanket on the scale, "One of you guys can bring him over."

You nodded towards Tyler to do it, because he was looking toward you, like you were the default option, but you wanted him to be a part of this, too, and you did it every other time.

"I know, it's okay," Tyler said as he picked Bentley up, laying him down on the scale.

"Well, you certainly look bigger," the nurse said, and you could feel Tyler's shoulder against yours, distracted by Bentley's crying even though you were trying to keep your eyes on the number on the scale. "Just hold still for a second and then Mom's got a blanket for you."

"Does that say 13?" You asked.

"Yep, 13 pounds, 2 ounces," she said.

"Oh my gosh, he was 12, 11 just a few days ago."

"Have you been eating lots?" she asked.

"Oh, yeah," Tyler said, "is that big?"

"Nope, he's a tall guy," she said.

"Well, so is this guy," you said, bumping against Tyler, and looking up at his smile.

Once she gestered that she was done, and you went to pick Bentley up, snuggling him into the blanket you'd brought. "The doctor will go over all of that with you, though. It won't be too long, I'll turn the heat up a little bit in here for him."

"Thank you," you said, leaning back against the exam table with Bentley in your arms, rocking him as he continued to fuss a little.

"Diva," Tyler said, his thumb running around Bentley's cheek and Bentley gave a little sigh and then quietened. "Is that in your contract? The room's gotta be a certain temperature?"

"Well, if you were naked, you'd want that, too."

"You're right," Tyler said, folding his arms across his chest, "I should have that written into all of my contracts, where were you when I did the ESPN shoot?"

You blinked a couple of times, and then looked up at his face. "I was trying to not think about the fact that my friend was doing a naked photoshoot."

"Yet," Tyler said, as if he was gloating, "you're totally thinking about me naked right now, aren't you?"

"Tyler," you whispered harshly, and he laughed.

"I knew it," he said smugly.

"We're in a pediatrician's office, you..."

"Are making you think about something other than sharp poky things, I know," he said.

You opened your mouth and then closed it again. "Okay, you need to come to every doctor's appointment with us from now on."

"That's kind of the plan," Tyler said, resting this head on your shoulder and grinning at Bentley, who was now just blinking, looking around the room like he was trying to take in where he was. You both just took a moment, staring at him again until the door opened and the doctor stepped in, shutting it behind him.

"Hey guys," he said.

"Hi," you said, leaning up a little now, and gesturing your head towards Tyler, "This is Tyler."

"Ryan," the doctor said, shaking Tyler's hand, which was extended towards him. "And how's this guy doing?"

"I think he's feeling a lot better," you smiled, looking at Bentley as you moving him so he was vertical, staring at the doctor with wide eyes.

"He's got really good neck control, huh?" Dr. Ryan asked, and you looked at Bentley.

"Oh, yeah."

"Am I gonna get a smile for that?" he asked, leaning his head towards Bentley, "No?"

"He wasn't very happy with getting weighed, so he's a little grumpy right now," you explained.

"Well, I'm gonna get a smile out of him before you go," Dr. Ryan said, setting Bentley's chart down on the exam table, and explaining to you how he was charting on the percentile charts. "And how's he eating? How often?"

"Usually every two to three hours," you said. "Though he's been doing this thing lately in the evenings when he wants to eat every 45 minutes to an hour."

"Good, he's probably having a growth spurt," Dr. Ryan laughed, listening to Bentley's chest with a stethoscope while he kicked his little legs. "And all breast?"

"Yeah," you said, "well, we've given him a couple of bottles this week, but breast milk."

"Good," Dr. Ryan said, "and-"

"Sorry," Tyler cut in, "I just had a question about that."

"Yeah, shoot," the doctor said, examining Bentley's belly now, and you smiled, looking to Tyler for his question.

"So, with bottles," Tyler said, running his hand over his jawline, "Is there a better time for him to have them...like, to not mess him up?"

"No, not if he's still breastfeeding well and is okay to take a bottle," Dr. Ryan said, "If he's clusterfeeding in the evenings, that might be a good time to use the bottles, to give Mom a bit of a break."

"Yeah," Tyler said, his eyebrows raised towards you.

"And how's Mom doing?"

"Good," you said, rubbing your hand over your neck and smiling a little, "better now that he is."

"Good," he said, moving his hand down to Bentley's feet now, "I'm just checking h8is hips now, making sure I can't dislocate them."

"Dislocate them?" Tyler said loudly, and Bentley flinched in surprise. "Sorry, bud."

"I can't, it's okay," the doctor said.

"Well, I should hope not," Tyler said.

"And he's sleeping okay?" the doctor asked now, "Starting to sleep in longer stretches?"

"No," you said, laughing, "I think that's just because he wasn't feeling well, though, he's more awake during the day now again, so it's getting better."

"Well, I don't blame him if he had a sore ear," Dr. Ryan said, reaching for his otoscope, checking Bentley's mouth and then shining the light over his eyes. "And he's tracking both of you guys?"

"Yeah, he seems to."

"Yeah, I can see that," the Dr. said, moving from side to side over Bentley now. "Both eyes look great, and he seems to be be able to look in both directions evenly, sometimes babies will kind of develop a preference for looking to one side and not the other, but he seems to be fine looking over both shoulders."

"Well, that's good," you smiled, at Bentley who was continuing to squirm and kick as the paper on exam table crinkled under him, like he'd figured out if he moved a certain way it caused an interesting noise.

"Should we check out your ears now?" the doctor asked now, leaning over Bentley, who now decided to smile. "Yeah? Are they feeling better?"

Bentley cooed in response, and then the doctor took a look in one ear. "Which one was the infection in?"

"Both," you said, "but it was worse in the other one."

"Well, that one looks clear," he said.

"Oh, good," you said, as he tried to look in the other near now, but Bentley turned

his head towards you.

"Oh, did you hear Mom?" He asked, trying to make noises to encourage Bentley to turn his head, but to no avail. You laughed, walking to the other side and then saying his name, and then Bentley turned his head to look at you.

"Hi baby," you said, and he grinned, moving his fist towards his face.

"Yeah, it looks all good," the doctor said. "Is he still on the antibiotics?"

"Yeah, he has three days left, I think?" You said, looking at Tyler.

"Well, three after tonight, so like three and a half," Tyler said.

"Well, finish the course, but I'm not worried about it at all, he looks great."

"Really?" You asked, "Like it's okay that he had a fever and got an infection when he's so little? Because he had a cold and he seemed to be doing better, but then he just got worse and.. "

"Well, his body was probably fighting off the virus on its own, but his ears probably just couldn't drain the excess fluid on their own, it's not unusual at all, we see it fairly often."

"But do I need to worry about him being around germs and..."

"No," Dr. Ryan said, adjusting his stethoscope around his neck, smiling like you were an overprotective mother he was trying to settle. Which, you supposed, you were. "He's been to the hospital, he's been to the doctor's office which, even though we work hard to keep it clean, he's likely being exposed to more here

than he is at, say, the grocery store. We're out of cold and flu season, he's not immunocompromised, he wasn't premature, it's good for him to be out."

Tyler cleared his throat a little subtly from beside you, and you turned your head to look at him, a small smile creeping across his face as he ran his hand through his hair. "I feel like I've heard that somewhere before, like..."

"'K, yes, I know," you said, your smiling matching his now.

"Hey, it's okay, I'd get an expert opinion, too," Tyler said, "I'd just like to point out that I had the same thought process as a doctor."

"I know," you said, "you were on the right track."

The doctor was taking to Bentley again, and you felt Tyler at your side, Bentley being turned onto his belly now.

"So does that mean he has to get shots?" You asked, and the doctor paused again and then looked at you.

"I'd recommend the standard two month vaccines, yes, we can discuss those though, if you want..."

You weren't aware you'd stiffened until you felt Tyler's hand run down your arm. "Mom's just a little nervous about the shots."

"Yeah, I want him to get them," you said, "well, I don't want him to get them, but I want him to be protected. You can't, like, just squirt them into his mouth or something, can you?"

"Master's degree over here," Tyler grinned, gesturing towards you. "Even I know it doesn't work like that. Wait, it doesn't work like that, does it?"

"There is actually one we give orally. Unfortunately, the other two are by needle though, I'm sorry."

"You should really consider changing that," Tyler said.

"Trust me, I would if I could," he said, running his hands over Bentley's back now, who was working on lifting his head up, like he already knew the drill of being on his belly, "his muscle tone looks great.. oh, do you see yourself in the mirror?"

"

"Who's that handsome devil?" Tyler asked, looking at Bentley's reflection in the mirror. "Is that you? Yeah, if I looked like that, I'd be checking myself all the time in the mirror, too."

"Well, you can see the resemblance there," Dr. Ryan said.

"Awe, thanks," Tyler said, grinning wide, and you tried not to laugh.

"He looks perfect, though, " the doctor said, Bentley pushing with his legs. "See, that's how they start to learn to crawl."

"He can crawl?" Tyler exclaimed.

"Well, not for a bit, but he's developing great, " hhr said, movibg Bviboventley back around now, and you let your heart swell, "I'm really happy with his weight gain, too, you're doing a great job."

You felt Tyler's fingers run around the soft part of your body, just about your hips, a reminder that he was there with you, and you smiled softly as the doctor went over the vaccines with you, and then you turned after you agreed looking up at Tyler. "Is that okay with you?"

"Mhmm.." he replied easily, and then he seemed to notice you were still looking at him. "Yeah, that makes sense to me, too."

"Okay," you said, looking back at the doctor now.

"Okay," he responded, picking up his things. "I'll get a nurse to come back in to do that for you."

"Oh sure," Tyler grinned, "Send in a nurse to do your dirty work for you."

"They are much, much better at it than me," he said, "Trust me, she's the one you want doing it."

"Can I put his onesie back on?"

"Yeah, for sure," the doctor said, "Have a great day, guys."

"You too," you said, focusing now on getting Bentley dressed, and letting out an exhale. "Well, this sucks."

"What sucks?" Tyler asked, leaning over your now, "He's says he's perfect, but we already knew that."

"No, his shots are gonna suck," you said, running your hand over Bentley's bare, soft legs now, which you realized were going to have band-aids on them for the first time ever in a few minutes, feeling thankful you'd had the foresight to give him Tylenol before you'd left.

"Oh, he'll be okay, babe," Tyler said, "you're tough, aren't you, little man?"

"He's a baby," you said, "he's gonna cry."

"Yeah, I know, " Tyler said, "he cries pretty often because he is a baby."

"But, it's different, when he's in pain," you said, because you weren't sure if Tyler was truly comprehending just what this was going to be like. "The moms I all talked to said it's the worst sound their babies have ever made."

"Yeah, but he's also had an ear infection so we know what he sounds like when he's in pain."

"Needles are sharp," you said, wincing like you were about to be poked yourself. "It's gonna be intense."

"And then it'll be over," Tyler said, and you must have looked doubtful because he continued. "Look, I'm not gonna lie, he's gonna be upset. But when I took him to get his blood done at the hospital, he screamed, but then I just held him, and he forgot about it and was cool. By the time he realizes what's happening, it'll be over, and then we'll just give him milk, and he'll be happy again."

"So we're gonna bribe him with food?"

"Mhmm, of course," Tyler grinned, "Honestly, what's gonna suck worse is when he knows he has to get shots."

"Yeah," you said tentatively, "I really hate shots."

"I know you do," Tyler laughed, "He'll be fine though, I promise."

"I know," you said, picking Bentley up though, because you wanted to snuggle him for as long as possible before the nurse came in, kissing him on the top of his head.

Tyler smiled sweetly at Bentley resting his head against your chest , and then looked up at you. "So..." he said, "how come you didn't tell me his doctor was such a man rocket?"

"A what?"

"Man rocket," he repeated, and then made a noise as he moved his hands that you gathered was supposed to sound like a rocket.

"What does that mean, like he's good looking?"

"Yeah."

"He's his doctor," you said, lowering your voice like you were worried about being overheard. "Also, he's married."

"Ah, so you've looked," Tyler said smugly.

"No, I haven't,"you sputtered, Tyler grinning at you with amusement. "I know he's married because he and his wife own the practice."

"He's married to a doctor?"

"Yeah, and so is she," you laughed, "Sometimes we see her, too. She was the one who called me to check on Bentley after we had to take him to the hospital."

"Ah," Tyler said, sitting down next to you now, "see, i was kind of surprised that it was a guy, because i though his doctor was a woman, but then i was wondering if you just didn't want me to get jealous."

"Nah," you said, "Although I do love him."

"Oh, do you now?"

"Yeah, I love it here, I feel like they take their time, and they're really good with answering questions."

"Yeah, they do seem really awesome," Tyler said, his hand moving to Bentley's back when he squirmed a bit. "So, who do you love more, him or me?"

"Well, I wouldn't know him if you didn't give me a baby, so..."

Tyler just laughed, leaning his head against your shoulder, and now the wheels were turning in your head. "Is that why you kept touching me, are you territorial?" You didn't really know, now that you thought about it.

"No? I mean, maybe, but I just touch you because I like ya, not for any reason," he said, nuzzling his face against your neck now. "And, if we were alone you and I could be playing doctor." Tyler's eyebrows raised at you and then he laughed.

"Tyler," you said, warningly, with a laugh.

"I said "if"," he clarified, his head leaning away now as Bentley's hand came towards Tyler's face as he stretched. "What? You want me out of here? Are you saying "that's my mom, get outta here? Yeah, you always protect her, huh."

You listened to the footsteps come and go beyond the door again, kissing Bentley on the forehead a couple of times.

"Did you hear him basically tell me he think I'm a stud, too?"

"What? Are you trying to make me jealous now?" You laughed.

"Hahaha," Tyler said dryly, "I'm just saying, he's good with kids, and he's good looking. They should cast him in Grey's Anatomy, really."

You startled a little by the sudden knock on the door, standing up as you said 'come in' and you could pretty much tell by the look on the nurse's face that she'd her Tyler comment just how attractive her boss was with how indiscrete he'd been.

You were thankful, now though, that Tyler wasn't making another joke as you laid Bentley back down on the exam table. Tyler wasn't really touching you, but you could feel the warmth from his hand as if it was radiating through the fabric of your dress, a comforting presence.

"We'll do the easy one first," she said. And it was easy, comparatively, as she dispensed the dose into Bentley's mouth who scrunched his face up and wiggled, making noises to show he wasn't impressed. It wasn't bad, either when she was disinfecting a couple of spots on his chubby thighs, Bentley just laying there like he had no idea what was about to happen. Once she started preparing the syringes, though, is when you started to feel your anxiety rise, feeling it was imminent.

"So, I'm gonna need one of you guys to hold him down."

"Right," you said, stepping forward, and then stepping back again, and then you heard Tyler chuckle from behind you.

"Do you want me to do it?"

"No," you said, stepping forward and then looking back again. "Yes, maybe, I don't know."

The nurse was kind of giving you a look like she was trying to figure you out, but you didn't quite have words, and then you felt Tyler's hand easing around your shoulder as he stepped in next to you. "Mom really doesn't like needles," Tyler explained.

"Oh, well you don't even have to stay if you don't want," she said.

"No, I want to be here," you said.

"Are you okay to hold him?" she asked Tyler now.

"Yeah, I'm good," Tyler asked, running his hand over the back on his neck, and looking at you. "Do you want me to do it, or do you want to?"

"Well, like, I want to be right there," you said, your hand settled over Bentley's chest, "But I don't want to let go, or freak him out worse,or..."

"Well, you could sit behind him and hold his hand," the nurse said now, "and he can help keep him steady for me."

Tyler was looking at you with his eyebrows raised like he thought this was a good idea, but was waiting for you to say it was okay, so you nodded, and a moment later you were sitting behind Bentley with his hand wrapped around your finger and Tyler standing in front of you, moving his body like he was trying to block you from staring at the needle.

"K, take a deep breath, Mom," the nurse said now, and you laughed a little as you tried to breath in, keeping your gaze focused on Bentley, even though your eyes squeezed shut when he started to scream, drowning out the even timbre of Tyler's voice, Bentley's arms moving like he was trying to get free. You didn't really pay attention to the words that it was almost done, or when the nurse was throwing the needle in the receptacle, quickly putting bandaids onto his legs. You'd barely even registered the fact that she said she was done before Tyler had picked Bentley up, settling him against you.

"Yeah, there's Mama," Tyler said, leaning around to rub Bentley's back, "You're okay, you're all done."

You made a face like your heart was completely broken towards Tyler, barely thanking the nurse after she let you know you could take all the time you needed in the room.

Tyler pouted towards you as Bentley continued to cry, and you started trying to bounce with him a bit. "Do you want your pacifier?" Tyler asked, his finger running over Bentley's cheek, but he just kind of continued to cry, letting out a few shuddering breaths which, hopefully, meant he was starting to calm down. "You got some pretty cool fishie bandaids."

"He does?""

"Yeah, they're like Finding Nemo," Tyler said, "It's actually super cute."

You weren't quite sure how long you were both standing there trying to soothe him, but eventually Bentley started rubbing his head against your chest. "Can you grab his bottle?" you said softly to Tyler, who nodded as you continued to sway with the baby, eventually passing him over to Tyler as he sat down, trying to give Bentley his bottle, except the baby just kept fussing, and moving his head away, and then he started crying again. "Are you sure he's hungry?" Tyler asked, the bottle dropping to his side, and then stood up. "I think he wants you."

He did, however, calm down when he went back to you, so you ended up breastfeeding him, giving Tyler a slightly guilty look. "The milk's not warm, he's never had it like that before."

But Tyler just shrugged, sitting down next to you. "I think he probably just wants to be close to you, and I don't blame him," Tyler said, "he is such a mama's boy."

"He likes you," you said.

"Oh, i know," Tyler said, "but I think he likes it when you hold him better, but he's totally happy to look at me and smile and stuff. He's just attached to you."

"There will probably be a time when he's attached to you."

"Oh sure," Tyler said, like he'd already thought about it, and knew this was likely to happen. "He'll probably go back and forth between us, that's okay."

"Yeah," you said, taking a breath and listening to Bentley suck contently, but now you were just kind of thinking about having a little kid running and yelling towards Tyler when he got home.

"It'd be really great, though, if they spread it out between us."

"What do you mean "they"?"

"Our kids," Tyler said said easily, "Like, when we bring his brother or sister home, it'd be great if he was happy to spend extra time with me and then you could be a little more focused on the baby and....do you not want more kids anymore, did you change your mind?"

You realized your mouth was hanging open a little, looking at Tyler in awe, who was just sitting there, totally laid back like he hadn't just said something so huge, and probably didn't even realize it was a big deal.

"No, no, I do," you said softly and reflectively. "I just didn't think you'd bought about it "

"I mean, not now, obviously, but...yeah," he said smiling at you now, in a way that made you feel like you were connected even though you weren't really touching. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," you said, "though we gotta get through this year first."

"You'll be such a pro by the time we're done, the needles won't even bother you anymore "

"Yeah, that's never going to happen."

"It wasn't that bad," Tyler stressed, "and it was perfect timing, 'cause now he's eating and he'll probably be happy ."

"He still might not feel great," you said, "he can have whatever he wants the rest of the day, I don't care."

"So that's different than ever day, how?" Tyler laughed, and you smiled and shrugged. "Was it really as bad as you thought, thought?" He asked,brushing your hair lightly off your shoulder.

'It was worse," you said, "I mean, I could do it, because you were here, but it was horrible and i never want to do it again, but we have in two months."

"Well," Tyler said, leaning over to kiss you softly, "you can have whatever you want the rest of the day, too."

You smiled because you didn't quite what to say, and it felt like you were just sitting there, smiling at each other until Bentley was done, and then you picked him up, settling him against the receiving blanket you had tossed over your shoulder, and then Tyler followed, grabbing your bag, and then holding the door open for both of you.

"You look like you're doing better," the nurse said, as you were leaving.

"Oh, he handled it way better than i did," you said.

"He was fighting it, though, i could feel how strong he is."

"Would you say he's stronger than other babies his age?" Tyler asked casually.

"Tyler," you said.

"What?" Tyler asked. "I'm proud of him."

"You should be," she said, "he is very strong."

"Thank you," Tyler grinned, as you walked out and you looked at him, holding Bentley to you.

"You know he's not always gonna be ahead developmentally, right? It's not a competition."

"Oh, iknow, " Tyler said, "he just looks so happy lifting his head up and looking around, like he knows how awesome he is. It's just a bonus he's one of the strongest babies ever."

"Okay, she did not say that."

"Mmmyeah, she did," Tyler said, and you shook your head, intent on taking Bentley to the car and then home. You didn't pay attention to the new vegan ice cream shop that you'd already heard awesome things about, but apparently Tyler did, because he slowed when he saw it. "So, how much happier would it make you if we got ice cream?"

"Umm...I have really been wanting to try one of their milkshakes," you said.

"Whatever you want," Tyler said, kissing you twice on the cheek, and then leaning down to do the same to Bentley, "You're only allowed milk, I'm sorry, bud, Mama will eat yours for you, 'k? I'll buy you ice cream in like a year when you can eat it, I promise"

Bentley sighed dramatically against you like he'd actually understood what Tyler said. and you both laughed. Once you were inside, you were contemplating what you should order, pulling the blanket up around Bentley as you swayed back and forth.

"What kind do you want me to get?" Tyler asked.

"Well, I'm getting the peanut butter cup one," you said.

"Yeah, but what kind do you want me to get?"

"Whatever you want, what do you feel like?"

"You should tell me because I know we're gonna share," he said, wrapping his arms around you and rocking back and forth a little, his head resting on his shoulder like he was just waiting for you to tell him what, and you smiled.

"We could get one chocolate-y one and then one vanilla or fruity?"

"Not fruity, this is supposed to be dessert, but the vanilla I can do," Tyler said, looking down and running his hand over Bentley's head now, "You still doing okay, little man?"

"He's getting sleepy," you said, because he seemed to keep shutting his eyes, and then startled awake a little.

"You want to take him back to the car and get him all snuggled up in his seat?" Tyler asked. "I can get these and meet you guys there."

"I think so," you said gratefully, and Tyler started fishing in the diaper bag for your keys, taking them out and then he seemed to look down your sides for pockets. "There's none in this dress," you said, holding out your free hand for the keys, but Tyler just shrugged and stepped closer, lifting the keys and then going to nestle them in your cleavage.

"Tyler," you laughed.

"Just helping you," he said, kissing you softly, his hand dropping to yours like he was saying goodbye to you in the mornings, even though you were only going to be apart for about 5 minutes. You knew people had to be watching you, except you let this fall to the back of your mind, just caught up in your happiness, and you didn't really care who was watching, for maybe the first time in your life. You did though, smile as you made your way back to the car where you put Bentley in his seat, his eyes sleepy, and you crawled in next to him, grabbing his pacifier and soothing him. Tyler was pretty quiet when he came back, recognizing that Bentley was just on the edge of sleep, and you leaned your head back against the sleep, watching Bentley as Tyler drove you home. It wasn't until you pulled onto your street that you spoke.

"I almost don't want to go inside and wake him up," you said sadly, and Tyler glanced over his shoulder.

"Well, we don't have to, we can drive around," Tyler said, shrugging easily.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I wasn't really planning to do anything else today other than spending time with you."

You smiled, getting the cover out for the car seat and pulling it over as Tyler pulled into your driveway to turn around, and then you started crawling up between the front seats. "Oh hi," Tyler said.

"Hi," you said, feeling like you were just watching him drive, so you picked up the chocolate and peanut butter milkshake, taking a sip.

"Is it good?"

"Really good," you said, "I can almost forget that we had to give needles to a baby."

"Yeah, well I was hoping we could go there after."

"You were?"

"Well, yeah," Tyler said, "I would have promised you, but I didn't know how Bentley was going to be, and I'd be really upset if you started crying, too."

You smiled, watching the light rain run down the windshield, the sound of the windshield wipers repetitive and soothing, and you let Tyler try his cookies n cream milkshake, which was a very good choice, at your next stoplight. But, mostly you just drove, Tyler regularly reaching for your hand and holding it, bringing his knuckles to your lips to kiss them, and then dropping your hand to his leg when he had to drive, because he knew how you wanted him to keep both hands on the wheel, now that you had precious cargo with you. You eventually parked at the beach, though, looking out over the water, and it was nice, the music playing quietly in the background, and the screams and yells from the children at the playground whose families' had decided to brave the rain, just sharing your milkshakes together and not feeling like you had to talk, just comfortable to be with each other.

You did sneak a couple of kisses Tyler's hand eventually did rub over your knee when he leaned in to kiss you once and your dress rode up a little, his hand moving back and forth so you could feel the callouses. "You're skin is so soft, like..how do you do that?"

"Well, I shaved this morning..so,"

"Oh, you shaved for me?" he grinned big.

"No, it was not for you," you said.

"Oh harsh," Tyler said, "Always trying to put me in my place, huh?"

"Well," you shrugged.

"You're so good for me," he mumbled though, and it wasn't really funny anymore, because then he was kissing you again, his hand coming up to cup the side of your face. It was different, now, though, like you weren't rushed or thinking about what this meant. Even when his hand crept up your body, brushing the side of your breast over the cotton of your dress and it started to feel pleasantly warm in the car, it wasn't like there was an end you were trying to get to, by any means.

It kind of felt like you could do this forever.

**

You probably should be doing something while Bentley was napping. Laundry, or thinking about dinner, or maybe napping yourself. But Tyler was sitting on the couch when you came out, one arm thrown over the back of it like he was just waiting for you, and he looked up from the T.V. and smiled when he saw you.

"Did he go down okay?" Tyler asked when you sat down next to him, curving into his body.

"Mhmm.." you said, pulling out the baby monitor. "They all did."

Tyler laughed at the video on the monitor because you could very clearly see Bentley sleeping in his crib, but you could also see a barrage of dogs laid out on the soft carpet you had on Bentley's floor. "Is he snoring?" Tyler asked, at the sound coming through the monitor.

"No," you said, using your fingers to zoom the video in, "I think that's Marshall."

"Where is Gerry?" Tyler asked, leaning in in concern. "I thought he went in there with you."

"He's in the glider, I think, he got in there when I was rocking Bentley," you said. Though Bentley still slept in your room with you at night, you'd moved the rocking chair back into Bentley's room since he was starting to nap in there during the day, but you and Tyler had talked about getting a smaller chair for your room, which would work out better since it had been started to feel little crowded lately with Tyler and dogs, and you picked out that chair for Bentley's room anyways. You pressed the button on the screen and whispered "Gerry" and then you could see the glider move as you assumed he lifted his head up, Tyler laughing behind you.

"Okay, i need this for my dogs," Tyler said

"Well, your dogs are in there," you laughed.

"Yeah, but like every room," Tyler said, "Then we'll freak them out by talking to them, I should put one in your room, too, so I can spy on you."

"You are such a creep," you laughed.

"Umm..you're gonna be the one spying on him when he's, like, 14 and trying to look at some girl's boobs."

"Umm...no," you said, "I'm not gonna have cameras in his room."

"But you're gonna make him sit out in the family room when he's got friends over, and you're just gonna casually check on them all the time," Tyler grinned, "Like, 'I just baked some cookies, honey, I thought you and your friends might like some'".

"Oh yeah," you said, snuggling in against Tyler, "That's my plan."

He murmured against you and you watched the monitor for a few more minutes together, like it was more entertaining to watch the baby sleep rather than watching television. but eventually you did put it down as you sunk into Tyler's affectionate, him kissing the top of your head, and running his hand over your side. It wasn't until he pressed a couple of kisses to your bare shoulder, your strap slipping aside, that you turned around to face him. Tyler smiled right before you kissed him, just softly a little bit, with breaks to smile and breathe, and run your hands through his hair. But then you got lost, his tongue sweeping around your lips and seeking entrance, his hand cupping your face and then dropping to your back, his leg wedging between yours like it just fit, and you shifted, trying to get even closer, only to jolt a little when you heard something crashing to the ground. You both froze, like you were waiting for the baby to start crying, but then you looked towards the monitor, seeing his eyes still shut peacefully and his chest rising and following undeterred and when you turned back to Tyler his gripped the back of your head, pulling your lips to his.

"What was that?" you asked, already breathless.

"Dunno, my phone or the remote."

"Well, should you check..?"

"I don't really care," he said deeply, holding you to him, your chest lifted up to look a hip, your eyes searching his face, like you were trying to memorize it, his eyes deep and dark.

"Your eyes look like hot chocolate," you said, "or melted chocolate ice cream."

You felt him laugh underneath you, and you realized how dumb you sounded, and thought he was going to start making fun of you, but he only just raised his eyebrows. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"A good thing," you said, kissing him more. "It's a really, really good thing."

"Good," Tyler said, his eyes searching yours for just a moment, his hand moving to your shoulders.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" You asked softly, with a bit of a laugh because he looked so intent, and like he was lost in thought.

"Nothing, babe," he said, his hands moving lovingly through your hair now. "I just can't believe how damn lucky I am."

Your lips twitched in a smile, and then your bodies were pulled together again, kissing him deep and slow. It was intense, and all encompassing, but it also felt familiar, and safe, and warm. His arms wrapped around you and then up your back like he couldn't decide where he wanted them, your legs tangling into each other. You couldn't even think, but somehow your body knew you needed more,slipping your hands up under his shirt, feeling his skin warm under your chest. He was raising one arm, while the other was still cupping your face, but he moved when you broke the kiss quickly, pulling his shirt over and above his head. You wanted to kiss him some more, but instead you just ran your hands down his chest and abs, loving the way they contracted under you touch, and Tyler grinned at you, looking lightly dazed. You pressed a kiss to his soft lips, and then to his chest, where you felt for certain you could feel his heart thundering, your hands running around his pecs and then over his newest tattoo, and you leaned down once more, kissing his skin over the ink, feeling him breathe hard under you, like he was trying not to make too much noise.

"Babe," he let out, pulling you closer to him once again, his mouth hot as your lips slotting together, breathing into each other and it got hot fast, his hands creeping up the back of your shirt, and then the next thing you knew you were forced apart again so your shirt could be pulled over your head, his lips molding against yours again, and then he moved under you, planting kisses along the swell of your breasts where the fell over the top of your bra, and the sound of both of you breathing deep filled the room, leaving the air feeling thick, like a warm, comfortable blanket. You couldn't think, not when Tyler starting kissing down your neck, and then sucking, which made you let out a little gasp and then grind yourself down against his leg, your body needing contact from his.

"Fuck..babe," Tyler said breathlessly, gripping your face in both hand, planting hurried kisses along your jawline, and then your lips again, and you felt like you couldn't even breathe, let alone think, a collecting of limbs, and, when you felt his fingers moving around your bra strap you didn't even pause, because you just wanted all of your skin against all of his.

"You..." Tyler said, against the side of your mouth, and you realized your bra was half undone, yet he couldn't take it off, not with how you were pressed together and maybe you should lift up a little, but he didn't seem to realize that, and then his hand seemed to be stuck in your bra strap, and you both laughed, dropping back down onto him, and now he kissed you more softly, his hands still roaming up and down your bare back, like he was trying to slow down his breathing, and then he put his hand on your shoulder, pushing both you back up to seated on the couch, where he breathed through his nose again, and then he allowed his eyes to connect with yours. "Can you have sex?"

"Can I have sex?" You repeated, like your brain needed to hear it again to process the question.

"Mhmm..." Tyler said, his finger running over your chest, like he was tracing a pattern. "Like, after you had a baby..?"

"Oh!" You said, and then you laughed again "Yeah, yeah, I can have sex."

"Your doctor..?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, thank fuck," Tyler said, pulling you hard into a hug, and then he pulled back just a quickly. "Do you want..?"

"Yeah, I want to," you smiled, biting your lip just a little.

"K," Tyler breathed, kissing you again, his hands warm up your back, pulling you into his lap, and then your eyes shut against he trailed kisses down your neck, and you felt yourself aching, wanting more, turning your head so he could reach more skin as let out a moan, opening your eyes to look down the hallway.

"Tyler," you said, your hand going to his chest.

"Mmm?" He said, pressing kisses down your chest now, while his fingers fumbled with the band on your shorts.

"Maybe we should go into the bedroom?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Tyler said, his hands reaching for yours as you stood up together. You kissed him once, quickly and and then a couple more times as you made your way towards your bedroom, your hands still liinked together. Once you go there, Tyler spun you around, kissing you deeply once more. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," you said, and then you turned, seeing yourself in the mirror, standing there without your shirt still, your breasts overflowing from over your bra, and then you noticed the bassinet, still next to your bed, and your hair thrown up in a messy bun, which just didn't seem sexy, and you pulled it out, looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to fix your hair, all while bending over and trying to fix your bra so it wasn't just digging into your skin, but maybe you should just take it off and get into bed, but your sheets and blankets were piled on the mattress from this morning. You were fixing it when you heard the front door open, and then you paused, because you didn't know if you should be following him out to see whatever it was he was doing, because you didn't think he would just leave, but then you were debating if you should turn the lights on, finally deciding to turn them on low. You heard the front door again, just as quickly, but you could tell he was trying to set it softly behind him, and you turned, quickly opening your nightstand drawer and shoving the pacifiers and nipple cream you had on your nightstand inside, tossing Bentley's blanket into his bassinet, and then you turned around, running your hand through your hair and trying to be casual, even though your heart was thumping in your chest, but as soon as Tyler stepped into your bedroom, you felt yourself relax, stepping towards him at the same time he stepped towards you, and then your gaze dropped to what he had in his hand, and you burst out laughing.

"Is that what you went to go do?" you asked, and then when Tyler nodded, you added, "You had that in your car?"

"Yeah.." Tyler said, like he didn't seem to know what the big deal was, but you couldn't help but find it hilarious that he'd been driving around with a box of condoms and what appeared to be a bottle of lube for who knows how long.

"So you were hoping this was gonna happen, huh?"

"Well, yeah.." Tyler grinned now, and then he moved into you, leaning you down on the bed and kissing your neck once again. "Not gonna lie, the making out and touching and stuff has been super fun. But...I want you."

"Yeah.." you shuddered beneath him, because you could feel his words and the meaning in them touching you.

"Plus," Tyler said, a little more playfully now, "I know how you just like to go straight for the D."

"I do not!" you said, laughing as you swatted at his shoulder.

"Mhmm.." he murmured, "Always, 'Hey, you around? Can I come over?'which means sex, barely any foreplay or anything."

"Because we were trying to get pregnant," you laughed. "It wasn't just for fun."

"It was fun, though," Tyler said, turning back into you.

"Yeah, it was," you said, you smiled as kissed down your body again, around your collarbone, and nipping over your boobs,. You looked down at him, your chest rising and falling, worrying now if your boobs were too full, and you were going to start leaking, and then you looked past Tyler to the open door.

"One second," you said breathlessly, and Tyler frowned little when even though he let you up.

"What are you...?" He started.

"Just the door," you said reassuringly.

"He's in a crib..." Tyler questioned, sitting up on the bed, his hair flopping in his face. "I really don't think he can get out."

"No, your kids," you said, "I left the door open a bit in case hey wanted out."

"Oh, yeah, definitely close the door," Tyler said, and you were a little surprised to feel him at the door with you, his mouth moving to his ear, and his hand covering yours. "And locked."

As soon as you turned to face him, he had you pressed up against the wall, blocking you in with his body as his mouth moved hungry against yours, and you picked up right where you left off now, his hands roaming up and down your bare sides, and you could feel him hard against oou and you wanted more, your hand gripping his shoulders. When his leg slotted naturally between yours and you pressed against him, and he groaned

"God, babe," his breath in your neck, and then your chest, his hand inching around to your back. "You're so...you're so..."

"So what?" you laughed, and he pulled back and looked at you.

"Amazing," he finally said, with a smile, "I don't know, you make me like...not think."

"Yeah," you said, "yeah, I feel the same way with you."

"Really?" Tyler asked, his arms braced around you, like he still couldn't quite believe that you felt the same was about him, and you just smiled and nodded, pulling him back to you, and you kissed again as your hands moved down his body, to the band of his shorts, running your fingers down his lower abs, and you looked up at him just as he gripped your wrists. "Just...wait," he whispered.

"Wait?" you questioned.

"Yeah," he said, moving to hold your hands. "It's been a while and if you touch me...I'm gonna..I just want this to be good."

You smiled at the look on his face, half self-depricating and half sheepish. "It hasn't been that long," you said, stepping into him.

"Like...6 months."

"It has not been 6 months," you laughed.

"How would you know?"

"Because I was there," you said, "And it's been, like three months."

"Almost four," Tyler said,

"Oh my god, you're so dramatic."

"Well, I couldn't even touch you or hug you, it sucked," he said, his hands unclasping your bra now, and then pulling it away from your body, his eyes dropping lower as he settled his hands over your breasts, cupping them gently, keeping them there as he pressed back into you, kissing you softly. "I missed you. And this."

"Yeah," was all you could say as he continuing kissing down your body, and it seemed like he was paying extra attention to placing little kisses on the stretch marks running across the side of your breasts, and then lower, over your soft belly, and he looked up and you, and you couldn't help but feel the love and admiration in his eyes. His hands rested low on your hips as he kissed you some more, pressing into you as his fingers slowly pushed down your shorts, like he couldn't take his lips off of yours, so they were just half half hanging off you, until he pulled back to ask. "Are alright?"

"Yeah," you said reaching for him again, but he stayed in place, leaning against the wall.

"Are you sure? You seem...kinda, like stiff?"

"Yeah," you said, laughing a little, "I'm just kinda nervous"

Tyler raised an eyebrow, his hand running up and down your sides soothingly. thin"Why would you be nervous? You're great. We're great together."

"No, I know," you said, looking away from him as you tried to think how to put this into words, your hand just kind of motion downwards as you looked back at him. "I kind of feel like I'm losing virginity again."

"Oh," Tyler said, his face relaxing and he smiled a little, running his hand over his face as he sat down on the edge of the bed, like he instictively knew he should make himself smaller than you. "Well, do you want to do this? Like, are you ready to? Because, I know what I said, but we can totally do other stuff, we don't have to..."

"No, no, I want to," you said, taking a step towards him.

"Come here then," he said, and you did, and he kissed you like he could just pick up on how you were feeling from his lips against yours. "If it helps, I'm nervous, too," he said, and then he help up the bottle of lube. "I got this for you."

You both laughed as you fell back on the bed together. "I just don't know what it's gonna be like," you clarify.

"Well, just talk to me," Tyler said, easily, brushing your hair out of your face. "We figured out the whole pregnant sex thing, we got this, too. And I really don't care if we have to practice a ton, it's totally fine, I'm into it."

You were still smiling when he rolled over on top of you, kissing your lips, and then moving downwards, "I'll be so gentle," he promised, laughing a little, "and we'll go so slow, since its your first time, it'll be all about you."

You laughed, easily, this time, but it was broken off by soft gasps for air as his fingers ran softly down the edges of your shorts. "Okay?" he asked, and you nodded, letting him pull your shorts and panties off. He stood up then, taking his shorts, and crawling back on the bed with you, parting your legs and rubbing his hands up and down your thighs as he connected his eyes with yours, and you felt that steady heat grow between your legs.

"Tyler," you said, softly, and he smile, looking over your body.

"You're so beautiful," he said, his hands roaming once more, and he looked straight at you as he dipped his fingers towards your core, smiling when he found the wetness that had gathered there. He touched your clit softly, watching your reaction, and you let your body relax into the mattress, as you sunk into his touch. He leaned forward, kissing at your inner thighs, and then he lapped softly at your cunt, his tongue licking into your hole, and then moving upwards to kiss at your clit, his finger experimentally pressing at your hole, and he chuckled when your hips pressed forward, slowly sinking just a single finger into you. It felt different, you weren't going to lie, but not in a bad way. You felt kind of vulnerable, but it also felt just so intimate, even though he wasn't really doing anything, just slowly moving his finger within your walls.

Your back arched a little, and Tyler's smile grew, and you could see his muscles contracting as he laid on his side on the bed, his head held up to look at you. "Feel good?"

"Mhmm.."

"Yeah, you're like throbbing," he said, pulling his finger out and then just inserting the tip of his second finger alongside the first. "You're like, really tight, you're pulling my fingers inside."

"Well, it's been awhile..since I've done anything, like.."

He twisted his fingers in you a little, and then frowned a little up at you. "When's the last you came?"

"The last time we were together."

"What?" Tyler asked, like this was just plain wrong. "You mean, you've done stuff by yourself, right?"

You just shook your head "no".

"Well, we really, really need to fix that," he said, and he leaned in now, sucking and kissing at your clit. You weren't sure quite how long you stayed like that, him alternating between leaning in and moving his fingers inside you. But he didn't seem to be in any rush to get you there, it was more like he was just trying to get to know your body again, your new body, the sound of his body against yours and your blood flow moving throughout your ears. It wasn't until he started curving his fingers inside you that you took a sharp inhale of air.

"Tyler," you said, to get his attention, and he lifted his head to yours, his fingers still moving with your body.

"Hmm...?"

"Can you just -?" you started, breathing once more, and he stilled his movements. "I just want you inside me."

"But I was gonna..."

"I know," you said, "But I just, I want to feel you. Is that okay?"

"Hell yeah it's okay," he said, like he was shocked you even asked, leaning up to kiss you. "But I still feel like I owe you four months' worth of orgasms."

You laughed a little against his lips, and then your gaze dropped, to his cock, and he grinned taking your hand and and moving it over himself, precum leaking out of the tip already, and you could see his eyes change as you touched him. Slowly, he leaned over, kissing your neck, and then moving to your ear. "Do we need condoms?"

"No, I haven't done anything," you said.

"Obviously we haven't been with anyone else," he smiled, "I meant for birth control, like I read that you can still ..."

"Oh," you said, "I have an IUD so I don't feel like I need it, but if you want -"

You started laughing as he picked up the box of condoms and tossed them haphazardly across the room, where they hit the wall and then slid down onto the floor. "Yeah, we don't need those ever."

You watched, your chest rising and falling as he put some of the lube onto his fingers and then pressed inside you again, gently opening you up, until you felt like your legs were trying to pull you him into you and he laid down over you, the tip of his cock nudging at your entrance. "You ready?" he asked, and you nodded, and then affirmed your answer, his forehead pressed against yours and your breathed together as he pushed inside.

"Just, wait a sec," you said, once he was halfway inside, and he slowed, his hands moving along your hips, and kissing your softly as you adjusted. Once you were ready, you nodded, and him, and he moved the remaining couple of inches, resting against your so your breasts your pressed against his chest.

"God, you feel so big," you said, "your hand moving up and down his back, holding him to you. You just felt so...damn complete.

"You feel amazing," he said, kissing you once more

It wasn't mindblowing, by any means, as he moved steadily within you, his thick cock brushing your g-spot with every touch, his fingers rubbing softly at your clit, kissing each other as you moved together, or just staring into each others eyes. You came softly and evenly after he did, setting against you, and he kissed you even harder after you'd both come down. But you'd never felt closer to anybody.

You stayed joined for awhile, until his muscles seemed to go lax, and he reluctantly rolled to the side of you, his still resting on your hip, and then he threaded his fingers with yours, just smiling at you.

"I love you," you said."

"I love you, too," he repeated, smiling against your lips. And you took the blanket, pulling it half up around both of your heads, just wanted to stay in this little world the two of you had created for just a moment longer.


	59. Chapter 59

The first thing you noticed when you woke up the next morning was that the bed felt empty, and the house felt quiet. The second thing that you noticed was that the bassinet was empty, but you weren't worried, instead just grabbing a zip-up from the base of your bed, and wrapping it around your shoulders after you shook the dog hair off it. You padded throughout the house, noticing that it was incredibly quiet still, the house empty. You turned to look out your front window and you smiled as you saw Gerry's tail wagging as he sniffed around the tree in your front yard. You hummed to yourself as you turned on your coffee maker, gathering mugs for both you and Tyler. You added a couple of teaspoons of sugar to his and dash of coconut milk, and some chocolate almond milk to yours, and then you picked them both up, walking into your front hallway and then you took both handles of the mugs into one hand so you could open your front door, Tyler turning to look at you from where he was seated on you front steps, Bentley in one arm and held on his lap, half wrapped up in his blanket, and his pacifier hanging from his mouth. He smiled when he saw you, and it dropped from his mouth, Tyler trying to catch it but failing, leaving in resting against his leg.

"There she is," Tyler said, and you grinned at Bentley, coming in to sit next to them, and you sat the two coffee mugs behind you.

"Good morning," you said, leaning over to kiss Tyler, and then you planted kisses on the top of Bentley's head. "Yes, hi, Gerry," you said, laughing as all the dogs had to come up to say hello to you.

"You weren't supposed to get up yet," Tyler said, pouting a little.

"Why not?" you laughed.

"Because I was gonna bring you coffee in bed," he said, "and maybe see if I could figure out how to make you breakfast. "But these guys has other plans."

"You can tomorrow," you said, "I can't believe I didn't hear him crying."

"Oh, he wasn't really crying," Tyler said, bouncing Bentley a little, "I just woke up and Gerry was standing over me, and he wanted food pretty much as soon as he saw my eyes were open. And I checked on Bentley before i went into the kitchen and his eyes were open, and then he started whimpering or something, so I picked him up but and then he was fine."

Bentley now, though, started crying, his face scrunching up, and Tyler laughed, passing him over you, where he quieted.

"What?" Tyler asked playfully, leaning in towards Bentley, and using his thumb to wipe up a bit of drool, "We were all cool, then your mom comes and ditch me."

You laughed, looking at Bentley, who was now just watching Tyler. "No, he wanted me to hold him so he could look at you."

"Nah, he just wants you," Tyler said, kissing at Bentley's neck like he was trying to tickle him, and Bentley made a noise that was so close to being a laugh, but came out closer to a squeal and you smiled.

"How long have you guys been up?"

"I don't know, 15, 20 minutes?" Tyler said, "We changed him, and then we fed the dogs breakfast, and then they wanted to come outside, so we've just been watching them."

"Did you help feed the dog's their breakfast?" you asked Bentley.

"No, he didn't really do anything actually," Tyler said, "You're probably gonna have to have a talk with him, he doesn't seem to be doing anything to pull his weight around here."

"Well, good thing he doesn't weigh very much."

"Yeah, but he's gaining more and more weight every day," Tyler said, smiling, his eyebrows raised at you as he took a sip of his coffee. You were about to warn him to be careful when he went to put it back down, but he placed it out of Bentley's reach. "No, you don't want that, it's hot, it might hurt you."

You smiled, watching though as Bentley seemed like he really had his heart set on holding that coffee cup. "You want to hold this?" You asked, taking the pacifier from where it was resting on the top of the stairs moving the attached stuffed animal towards Bentley's open hand.

"Oh, that fell on the ground, don't give him that," Tyler warned.

"I'm just giving him the toy part, he doesn't know how to put it in his mouth yet," you said, smiling at Tyler's concern. "And he seems pretty happy right now I don't think he even wants his pacifier."

"Yeah, he's chill," Tyler said. "I thought he'd be hungry when he woke up. Well, I guess he could be hungry, but he's not mad about it."

"I fed him like an hour and a half or maybe two hours ago, so he might not be ready yet."

"You did?" Tyler asked, "how did I not know that?"

"You asked me if I needed anything."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you always do," you laughed, "and then you never remember it in the morning."

"Well, at least I'm still considerate in my sleep."

"Well, you get up when I ask for something," you said, leaning against him, a little to bump his shoulder. "And look at you, changing diapers and stuff."

"Well, I was trying to let you sleep," he said, "I didn't want to wake you up, so I'm glad he didn't want food, I wanted you to sleep." He leaned over to kiss you on the temple.

"Well, you could have given him a bottle."

"Yeah, I thought about that," he said, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't want to do that without asking you though."

"Why?" You asked, leaning around to hold Bentley's toy towards his hand. "You've given him bottles before."

"Yeah, when you're awake."

"Why does that matter?"

"Because you're his mom."

"Yeah, I'm aware," you laughed.

"Well, I don't want to mess up you feeding him."

"It won't," you said, "I can always pump if I have to, it's fine."

"Yeah, but I just don't want to.." Tyler started, "I don't want to overstep my bounds."

"Oh, you're not, Tyler," you said, laughing at just the thought that he was worried about it.

"I know, but.." he said, toying with a strand of thread that was hanging from the arm of your zip-up, like he was contemplating ripping it off. And you did know. That he was scared, and that he didn't feel ready, and that he was constantly second guessing himself, and that he thought he might do something wrong, or not agree with you, and then you'd end up fighting about it.

"It's not a big deal for you to make him a bottle," you said, but Tyler still looked tentative, and like he wanted to say something but didn't know how, so you leaned over, kissing him on the cheek. "I really, really love when you get to give him bottles, and spend your own time with him."

"No, I like that, too," Tyler said, his hand running over the back of his neck.

"You have really, really good instincts," you said, "You should trust them."

"Evidently if they lead me to you," Tyler grinned, and then paused where he was leaning towards you. "Is that the right word? Evidently?"

"Yes," you laughed, and he smiled right before he pressed his lips to yours.

"I just didn't know what you wanted me to do about that, and if you'd be okay," he said, "Mostly I was just worried about your boobs. And your milk and stuff. Also, you always heat it up and I don't want to burn him."

"I really, really don't think you would," you said, "and if he's hungry, I want him to eat. It's the same thing, anyways, I'd be a little pissed if you gave him formula without us talking about it."

"Well, I wouldn't do that."

"Exactly," you said.

"I don't think he likes bottles very much though."

"Well, he takes it."

"Yeah, but he looks up at me like 'what the hell is this? This isn't the real thing'"

"I think you're projecting."

"Nope," Tyler said decidedly. "I promise you, he really, really like boobs."

You shook your head, your hands holding Bentley's chest and back so he was sitting up, watching him take in the June morning.

"Whatcha looking at?" Tyler asked, leaning in so he could see from Bentley's point of view, his hand moving over yours, and then he started pulling at that dang thread again.

"Don't," you said, pulling away from him, "You're gonna wreck my sweatshirt."

"Oh, your sweatshirt?" Tyler said, grinning like he was victorious, "Funny, it has my number of it."

"Well, you don't own the number," you retaliated, and Tyler started laughing.

"No, but I bought that sweatshirt."

"Did you though?" you challenged, grinning the whole time, and Tyler's expression dropped, a smirk creeping onto his lips.

"Okay, but the box had my name on it."

"And do you have proof of that?"

"Do you see what your mom's doing?" Tyler asked nuzzling against Bentley, "She's stealing from me."

"You said I could borrow your clothes."

"Oh, so now you admit that its mine," Tyler said, "and I'm never getting them back, am I?"

"Nope," you said, wrapping it tighter around you. "It's smells like you."

"What do I smell like?" Tyler laughed.

"I don't know," you said. "Like cozy, and warm and stuff."

"Awe," Tyler said, leaning around you, pulling the blanket around Bentley, and kissing you several times on the temple.

"Plus, your stuff is bigger so it's more comfortable."

"Are you calling me fat?" Tyler laughed.

"No, just like, broader," you said. "And none of my pre-pregnancy clothes seem to fit."

"Because your boobs are huge?"

"No," you said, and he gave you a stern look, "okay, maybe, yeah, but more so my stomach and my hips, I've probably got like 15 or 20 pounds left to lose."

"I don't know, your body looked pretty awesome to me last night."

You felt your face flash hot for a second, and then you realized that you shouldn't feel shy or embarrassed, not with him now. "No, I don't mean...my body's just different."

"Yeah, 'cuz your body made a freakin' human being," Tyler said. And while you still felt in awe of what the female body could do, you couldn't help but feel the awe he had for what you did, like you were the only woman in the world who had ever given birth to a baby.

"Yeah," you smiled at Bentley tucked against you, "I know."

"How are you feeling, by the way?" Tyler asked, tucking his head against your shoulder.

"I feel fine?" You asked, and Tyler chuckled a little.

"I meant after last night," he said, nuzzling against you, "you sore or anything?"

"Umm..." you said, and then you noticed Tyler looking at you sternly, and realized that he was going to know if you weren't 100% truthful. "A little bit, yeah."

"I'm sorry," Tyler said, nuzzling into you even further, placing loving kisses on your neck, his arm coming to wrap around you.

"It's not your fault," you promised. "I'm not, like, it pain, just a little sore. I've heard its normal, though. It might just be...different for a bit." Really, it was more like you were just very aware that he'd been inside you each time you'd moved now, which was not really something you wanted to talk about when you had your son in your lap.

"Well, like I said, I'm very willing to work through our differences," Tyler said, and then frowned as he pulled himself away from you, blinking, "That does not sound like what I meant."

"I know what you meant," you laughed, and then smiled when Tyler kissed you softly.

"Good," he said, whispering against your lips.

You looked into his eyes for a moment, a question creeping into your mind. "Was it different?" You asked, "For you?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, dragging out the word, and you felt your chest clench for a moment, until he laughed a little. "Before it felt kinda...like I was against the clock or something, like everytime I thought either you were gonna find out you were pregnant, and then we'd have to stop, or, like, she might not let me have sex with her again. This time was slower. Well, it was kinda not slow, but not as fast as I was worried about it being."

"Were you actually that nervous?" You laughed.

"Yes," he said sheepishly. "I wanted it to be good for you."

"Well, it's not like it's the first time we've been together, I know you're good."

"Well, duh," Tyler said, grinning. "Seriously though, I was googling all that shit like crazy and there's so much conflicting information,like it says oral sex is great but you weren't into it."

You laughed at Tyler running his hand his hand through his hair, making a face like this couldn't possibly make sense to him. "No, no that was good," you clarified, "it was more just-"

"Oh, so you do want it," he said, kissing playfully at your neck, and you felt the sudden rush of heat flow through you, only to be reminded of the babbling baby in your lap.

"Anyways," you said, "it was more just that I wanted to actually do it, like i didnt know what it was gonna be like, it if he was gonna wake up, or.."

"You wouldn't do that," Tyler said to Bentley, brushing their noses together. "Nuh-uh, not when we're doing adult things, you gotta help me get laid, huh?"

"Stop," you laughed, leaning to kiss Bentley's head, just wanting to keep him innocent forever.

"So he probably won't wake up when we're touching because we have a deal, but even if he does its fine," Tyler said, "well, not fine, fine I'd be a little sad its not like we can't just pause it, take care of him, then get back to the fun."

"Yeah, but..it like might kind of ruin the mood."

"For me or for you?" Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised and a sly grin creeping onto his face.

"Both?" You asked, and Tyler laughed.

"Yeah, I've got a beautiful girl, who totally loves me as much as I love her, and we're so good together, and we feel so damn good together," he said, "yeah, I can totally see why I wouldn't get turned on."

"Tyler..."

"Seriously, it's not an issue for me," he said, taking care to look you in the eyes, "I can see how it might be for you, though, because you're always thinking about him and worrying about him and stuff, and you could be having changes in sex drive.."

"Oh, could I?" You reacted, laughing at his expression.

"I don't know," Tyler said, holding his hands up like he was innocent. "That's just what I read. Although I don't really know what the point of the article was, it was all pretty much just common sense."

"Was it?" You said, laughing slightly just because of the topic of the conversation, "What did it say?"

"Just that you're going through a lot of changes, that things might be different but it's totally normal, and even when you've got kids, it's not like your sex life is just over, it's gonna get better," he said, "Also that there's plenty, plenty of ways to be intimate, and affectionate, which I 100% agree with."

He was kissing softly at your neck and jaw as he did said so, and you laughed when he just brushed his beard against your cheek playfully. "You really, really prepared for this, huh?"

"Well, I didn't spend hours on it or anything, but I got some stuff, you know."

"Yeah, how long have you had those condoms in your car for?" you laughed.

"Uhh..like since two or three days after you told me you loved me too," Tyler said, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh my god.."

"Hey, if stuff started happening I wasn't gonna say no," He said, "I didn't know you'd already figured out the whole birth control thing, when you'd get that done?"

"After he was born," you said.

"Like right after?"

"Mhmm..you were there."

"I do not remember any of this."

"Well, I think you were with him, when they were checking him out and stuff."

"Oh," he said, smirking, "So someone was already thinking about having sex with me after."

"No," you laughed. "it's for my endometriosis, but it just happens to be good birth control, too. But we always can use condoms, too, if you're worried. Like, I haven't had my period yet... but it's could be possible, I guess."

"Well, do you think we need to use two methods?"

"No, but it's not just my decision."

"No condoms, then," he said. And you looked away a little, and then back at him.

"What if we get pregnant by accident though?" you asked tentatively.

"Then we would probably have another baby," Tyler said, smiling just a little. "I mean, ideally we'd plan for number two when we're ready, but if it happened, I don't know, sometimes amazing things happen you weren't planning for. It wouldn't be the worst thing, would it?"

"No, no it wouldn't be the worst thing," you said, smiling down at Bentley in your arms, "But I am really not ready yet."

"Oh, me neither," Tyler said, "But you're on birth control. I think, I think it'd be good."

"Yeah, me too," you said, smiling, and Tyler leaned over to kiss you. "He needs to sleep through the night first."

And he kind of needs to call Tyler his dad, too.

"Mmmyeah, the more he sleeps, the more time we have for foreplay and we don't have to rush," he said, his eyebrows raised. "Although apparently moms like different types of foreplay."

"Wait, like what?"

"Putting the baby to bed, changing diapers," Tyler said, "I bet you couldn't stop thinking about how sexy I was when he peed all over me."

"Oh yeah, totally," you said sarcastically, and then a thought crept into your mind.

"Which is not why I'm doing that stuff, by the way," Tyler said a moment later, like he'd had the same thought, moving his face closer to Bentley and kissing his forehead. "It's just pretty cool that I get to help take care of you, y'know?"

"It's awesome, isn't it?" you asked, "Like even when he's crying inconsolably, I still can't believe I get to be his mom."

You smiled as Bentley screeched, moving his little hands up in the air, and Tyler mimicked him, while Bentley proceeded to try and stuff his entire fist into his mouth, leaving his hands and his cheeks all drooly.

"He's talking so much lately," you said.

"Yeah, he's got things to say," Tyler said, as Marshall came over to investigate, sniffing and Bentley's chest and then his face, and Bentley's eyes went wide as he made even more noise, and you took his hand in his, using it to run his hands over Marshall's fur.

"Can you say 'Good boy, Marshall?" Tyler asked, and then you both laughed at Bentley's babbling. "Uh...that's kinda close, but I think we maybe need to practice it a bit more...Gerry!"

Tyler immediately leaned forward, pulling the stuffed toy part from Bentley's pacifier. "That is not yours," he scolded, looking back at Bentley, "Okay, you need to learn how to say "'Good dog, Marshall and Cash' and 'Bad Dog, Gerry'"

"Oh no," you said, rubbing a rather guilty looking Gerry behind the ears. "Gerry's a good dog."

"Okay, I'll just give this back to him then.."

"No!" you said, snatching it out of Tyler's hand, and Tyler laughed. "That's the one thing I really don't want him to have of Bentley's and its the thing he wants most."

"What? So you're not gonna be mad if he eats all of Bentley's other toys?"

"Not really, no, they need to learn to..." you started. And then you realized you couldn't really say live together, because it wasn't like you were actually living together, it was more just like your lives were just kind of overlapping and blending at the edges, so you half of the dogs' toys had made their way into your house, while you had a stash of blankets and diapers at Tyler's house.

"They need to what?" Tyler asked, laughing at you.

"They need to learn how to share," you said.

"You hear that, Ger?" Tyler said now, "Mom says you're gonna have to be grounded because you weren't sharing with your brothers. You better go to your room. "

"No," you said, wrapping your arms around Gerry, who had started waving his tail a couple of times, like he was hopeful that he was no longer in trouble. "Look how guilty he looks, he's sorry."

"Well maybe he shouldn't have done that then."

"He didn't mean to," you said, "He's like 'Sorry Dad, I just don't know how to tell the difference between Bentley's toys and my toys yet, and I get really, really excited because I just want to play with him."

"Awe, it's okay," Tyler said, rubbing Gerry behind the ears and Gerry, seeing his in, started crawling on top of Tyler pushing him back onto the porch, while Tyler groaned and shut his eyes as Gerry started licking his face. "Oh," Tyler said, groaned and then grimaced, turning his head to look at you. "I don't know if we can have anymore kids, I think Gerry just decided we're done."

"Oh no," you laughed.

"Don't laugh, you don't understand," Tyler said, still wincing, and Bentley smiled like he found the faces Tyler was making amusing. "Hey, little man, you're supposed to be on my side."

"He saw what I went through to get him here, he has no sympathy."

"Yeah, but men aren't as tough as women, everyone knows that," Tyler said, wincing as he sat up now.

"Are you actually okay?" you asked, leaning towards him now.

"I will be, I just need you to hold me," he said, and you wrapped your free arm around him as he leaned against you, and you pat his head a couple of times. "You can kiss it better if you want," Tyler said, and then immediately started laughing at himself.

"Yeah, so you're totally fine," you said, and Tyler shifted a little against you, like he didn't want to move. He did move, though, once Bentley had decided he was ready for his breakfast, making the two of you some toast while you fed the baby, toes in the grass and keeping an eye on the dogs. You are your toast and finished your coffee and your breakfast enjoying the quiet morning, Bentley laid out on his blanket on the grass once he was done eating, both you and Tyler flanking him so that the dogs didn't accidentally jump on him. He seemed to get a little annoyed not too long after you'd finished eating that he was stuck on his back, so you picked him back up before he started full-blown crying. "You and I should probably go get ready to go, huh? Is that what you're thinking?"

Tyler groaned a little as he stood back up, but he extended his hand towards you for your plate, so you were free to grab Bentley's blanket as well. "Thank you."

"Mhmm," Tyler mumbled, kissing you softly, and you sensed him and the dogs following you into the house. He went into the kitchen while you took Bentley into his room, smiling when Gerry looked at you right before he jumped up into the glider.

"Oh, I'm not putting him down right now, Gerry," you laughed, going to pull out a clean onesie from the dresser to change Bentley into. You were just putting his arms through when Tyler stepped in the room, leaning against the door and frowning a little.

"What's up with him?" Tyler asked, nodding towards Gerry who was giving you puppy dog eyes.

"He thought it was time to rock."

"Awe," Tyler said, going over to move Gerry over to give him enough room to sit down, and then he started rubbing Gerry behind the ears. "I know, bud, it's not fair they're leaving us "

"Well, you're leaving, too," you said, picking Bentley up, and then all of the other boys got up, following you into your bedroom, where Marshall and Cash proceeded to jump up on your bed. Tyler made a whining noise from behind you, curling his body around yours from behind. "What's wrong with you?" you laughed.

"I don't want you to leave," he said, rocking back and forth with you and then smacking kisses along your neck. "Where are you guys going again?"

"Barre class."

"You're taking your baby to the bar?" Tyler gasped, and then he laughed, while you tried to press your lips together to keep from laughing.

"Your jokes are getting worse, I swear to god." you said.

"It wasn't a joke," Tyler said, and you could see him struggling to be serious, "I really don't think you should take him to the bar, you should stay home, and we can cuddle, or hang out and play with toys with Bentley. I'm gonna be too lonely if you leave."

"Well, you're going to the gym, Tyler, and I'm gonna take him, and then we'll meet back here."

"But I don't want to," Tyler said, flopping down onto the bed.

"Well, you kind of have to, it's your job," he said, and he looked longingly at you."

"Okay, I know we're in a relationship now, but I don't want to be a distraction."

"You're not distracting me," he said, "You could just come with me, then I could show off."

"Yeah, that's an awesome place to take a baby," you said, grabbing your leggings out of the drawer.

"Finnnneee," he whined again, rolling onto his side, a sly smile on his face. "Then take me with you."

You thought for a moment, looking for your sports bra now, "I mean you could."

"Wait, actually?" Tyler asked. "I'm allowed? I was just joking."

"Yeah, partners are allowed."

"Oh, am I your partner?"

"Well, yeah," you smiled, and Tyler grinned back at you, petting the dogs.

"So what is this exactly? Like legs?"

"Yeah, and core and glutes, and there's some upper body toning and stuff. It's kind of like pilates and yoga, and then there's some stuff with the ballet barre, it's alot of little stabilizer muscles and stuff."

"Are you sure I'm going to be able to do this?"

"Yeah," you said, going to set Bentley down on your bed so you could get changed, and Cash crawled towards him on the bed, sniffing at him. "You'll probably have to do your own thing after, I don't think it'll be too challenging for you."

"Umm..I'm pretty sure it will be, have you ever seen me try to do yoga or pilates? It's so hard."

"Well, this is for women who have just had babies, so it's not hardcore or anything."

"So are there no guys there?"

"Umm..I've only been to this class once, but there was a guy, at the yoga class," you said, looking over at him, "Is that gonna be weird?"

"Nope, I know at least one guy whose gonna be there," Tyler said, moving towards Bentley and tickling his chest and then grabbing his arm and then saying, "and one and two," as he moved it up and down, and Bentley gurgled at him.

"And they also just encourage you to do whatever your baby needs, so people change diapers there or feed their baby, and sometimes there's a lot of crying."

"Yeah, that's fine," Tyler said, easily propping his hand up in his hand and watching over Bentley. "That's kind of how I expected it to be."

"Well, there will probably be women breastfeeding."

"Yeah, I love breasts," Tyler said, "And I love fed and happy babies."

"Okay, but you can't, like stare at them, because it might make them uncomfortable," you said. "It's just supposed to be a really supportive environment for new moms. And you're probably going to be the only guy there."

A guy who happened to be a professional athlete.

Tyler looked up from where he was patting Cash, chuckling a little. "Do you not want me to come?"

"No, I do," you said, moving closer to him, so you could lean over and kiss him, "I just don't want you to be bored."

"I don't think I'll be bored," he smiled, shutting his eyes as he smiled.

"Yeah, it'll be fun if you come," you said, kissing him once more, and then you turned to Bentley. "Are you excited that Uncle Ty-Ty's gonna come with us? Are you gonna show him what it's all about?"

"Just remember it's my first time, so don't judge my form too much," Tyler said to him, his finger slipping between Bentley's and then looked to you, his finger still grasped it Bentley's fist. "What does he think about it? Does he like it?"

"Yeah," you smiled, "He loves it, there's so many things to look at."

"Oh, I bet," Tyler said.

"He only really cried once but that was just because he got hungry," you said, pulling your hair into a ponytail as you went into the bathroom. You could hear Tyler talking to Bentley as you got changed through the half open door, hearing him saying that he didn't blame him, that he would start crying, too, if he got hungry. You heard the door push open as you were just pulling your yoga pants on.

"Mmmmyeah, I love those pants," you heard Tyler say from behind you. "Can I just put my mat right behind yours? This is the view I want."

"Stop," you laughed, standing up and then you saw him in the mirror, his arms empty. "Where's Bentley?"

"On the bed," Tyler said, looking out into the bedroom and then back at you, "Was I not supposed to leave him?"

"No," you said, stepping to the side so you could see Bentley on the bed, with Cash laid out by his side and Marshall curled up behind his head, not wanting Tyler to feel like he did something wrong, because you didn't ask him to stay there. "I just worry about him with the dogs."

"Oh, yeah, Gerry's the one I'm worried about, and he's not in here," Tyler said, but he went to go pick up Bentley anyways, kissing him on the side of the head. "You're okay, huh?"

"Oh, I'm not worried they're gonna hurt him, its just when they're on the bed, I'm worried they're gonna stand up and then he's gonna go flying off."

"Well, its a bed, not a trampoline, babe," Tyler laughed.

"Okay, I know," you said, laughing, "I just don't want him to get bumped accidentally, he's so little next to them, and know they're aware of him on the floor, but....I don't really even know when it's okay to leave a baby alone with dogs."

"Yeah, I dunno."

"I don't know if I really trust him on the bed when we're not watching, he's getting kind of wiggly."

"Nah, he's chilling," Tyler said, holding him with one arm easily. "We don't need to get his bad ready, do we? It's still got stuff in it from last time, right?"

"No," you smiled, looking down at Tyler's shorts and legs. "Do you need to get changed? I can grab his Dockatot."

"Nah, I don't have tights like yours, but I can get some though if you want," Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised, "I'd only wear them for you in private though."

"Oh wow," you mumbled, as you ran your hand over your face, and you could hear Tyler giggling behind you.

"Just get your cute butt ready, don't worry about me."

You finished getting changed, but you glanced at Tyler out of the corner of your eye, and started laughing. "What are you doing?"

"Practicing," he said. He was holding Bentley with both arms to his chest now, and then jumping up, doing some type of little flick thing with his legs, that you could only assume was meant to be ballet inspired.

"Well, be careful," you laughed, going to grab a clean pacifier from your nightstand.

"I won't drop him," Tyler promised.

"No, I know you won't," you smiled, "But he just ate, I don't want him to throw up on you."

"Oh," Tyler said,just swaying back and forth with Bentley now, whose eyes were on you.

"Are you dancing?" You asked him, and he smiled, his head jerking back a bit, and Tyler steadied it with his hand.

"He's gonna be really good once he gets complete control of his head," Tyler said.

A few minutes later it was you who was holding Bentley as you walked into the studio, and you felt all the eyes in the the room move towards you,and then to Tyler behind you. He didn't seem to notice everyone looking at him, though, instead he just grabbed a couple mats and then followed you over to where there was an empty blanket set out for the babies, setting the diaper bag down he had around his arm, and then seeming to take note of what else you needed. "What weights do you want,babe?"

"Uhh... two's?"

"Two's?" He repeated with surprise.

"Yeah, I just had a baby, Tyler, I haven't been exercising the same."

"Yeah, but you're strong, you carry him around all day, no problem," he said, scratching the back of his neck. "Now, I don't know what the hell....er, heck, sized weights I should use."

You cracked a smile, sitting down with Bentley, and then watching Tyler walk over to the weight rack, where he seemed to contemplate the selection, and then you tried not to laugh when he tried to grab a couple of balls and then proceeded to knock the others out of place, too, and had to try and stop them from rolling around with his foot, trying to carefully put them back so they wouldn't move.

"He looks nervous," Rebecca said from beside you, from where she was sitting with her little girl like you were with Bentley, and you laughed, turning Bentley so he could look at them. "Whose that? Is that your friend, Adrianna?" you asked him, looking back over your shoulder at Tyler, "Yeah, I think he is a little bit," you said, because Tyler was suddenly acting like he quite didn't know quite how to work his limbs.

"How'd you get him to come?"

"He just wanted to," you said, shrugging.

"Are you kidding me?" she laughed, bouncing her baby, "I've been trying to get my husband to come with us for weeks."

"Well...." you said, about to say that it was new, and that maybe that was why he was so eager to want to spend time with you, but then you'd have to explain that you had a baby together anyways, but you heard Tyler walking back behind you and turned just in time to see him set the weights down and have them tumble right onto his finger as he tried to set them down on the mat, and he sucked in a breath, rubbing his thumb.

"Are you alright?" you asked.

"Yes," he said, shaking in out, "Sorry, I've never worked out before."

You were still laughing as Tyler sat down, leaning into you "I was trying to stop the weights from slamming on the floor, I didn't want to scare the babies."

"Awe," you said, looking at Tyler, and then back at Rebecca, and you didn't quite know if you should introduce him, or how you would even do that.

"I'm Tyler," Tyler said, putting your thoughts to rest, his hand raised in a wave.

"Rebecca," she responsed. "And I know."

"Oh," Tyler said, grinning a little even as he ducked his head, his arms draped across his bent knees.

You started laughing when Bentley continued his babbling, moving his arms up.

"What's her name?" Tyler asked, nodding towards the other baby.

"Oh, this is Adrianna."

"Hi Adrianna," Tyler said, waving his hand open and so it was in her line of sight.

You smiled when Bentley stuck his arms out towards her and both you and Rebecca scooted closer to each other. "Did you say 'hi' to Bentley?" she asked, looking around to say her daughter's reaction, and she squealed in response, lurching forward and almost hitting Bentley in the face.

"Oops, be gentle."

You could hear Tyler laughed a little behind you as he came closer, watching their interaction.

"Oh no, no," Tyler said, prying Bentley's fingers off from the bow that she had around her head when he decided to grab in and try and pull it off, your hands holding Bentley under his arms. "Don't take off her pretty bow, she might not like that very much."

Tyler smiled at you when the instructor came in and you moved back into your spots, but Tyler leaned over and pressed his lips to yours in a quick kiss before he did so.

When you went to lay Bentley down, you made sure to move him so he was laying on a blanket that was placed so it was between the end of both you and Tyler's mats, so that you could both interact with him. You couldn't help looking over at Tyler and then Bentley and smiling as you were lead through the warm-up,, because it felt like you were doing something together as a family, and you only wanted more of it.

"Okay, let's go down to our mats and warm up our cores and spine with some cat/cows," the instructor said, "So big round through your spine, and then drop your belly, tailbone to the sky."

You repeated the movements a couple of times and then you made the mistake of looking over at Tyler the next time you arched your back and he caught you, like he'd just been waiting for you to look over at him, doing a wiggly thing with his butt, and you had to look away to stop from cracking a smile.

"And then return to a neutral spine, and extend your left leg behind you, keeping your core tight, and pulse," she said now, "And if you want to add a layer of difficulty, extend your opposite arm."

You were concentrating on trying to see if you could handle that, slowly extending your arm, when you felt a foot connect with you butt and looked over to Tyler next to you. "Sorry " he said, but you could tell by the smirk on his face that he had done it on purpose.

You focused instead on smiling at Bentley, who was laying on his back but had his head turned towards you, and you tickled him as you extended each arm out and then Tyler followed suit, and you watched as Bentley's eyes went to find you, and then Tyler.

When you stood up to do some upper body work, you looked over at Tyler again as you were doing bicep curls with your arms extended in front of you, and Tyler's eyes were looking at you with a bit of a wild look in them. "I am shaking," he confessed to you, and then you could hear him huff when the instructor said to try and lift your elbows up, dropping the weights if you needed to.

"You can put them down," you whispered, and he shook his head.

"You could trade me?" he asked, offering his weights towards you, which looked about three times the size of yours and you shook your head, Tyler sticking his tongue out of the side of his mouth at you. You noticed that he shook his arms out quite a bit once you were told you were done with the weights, and then stretched out his shoulder as he grinned at you, as everyone started moving themselves and their babies closer to the barre.

"Wheee..." Tyler said, looking down over Bentley as he drug both him and the blanket he was laying on across the wood floor so he was closer to where you both were, and you laughed at the confused expression on Bentley's face, like he didn't quite know how he had moved or understood that that was supposed to be fun yet.

"Hi," you said, waiting until he found you and then you repeated the word and he smiled big kicked his legs. Tyler smiled when he looked at you,making a noise that let you know that he thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

You could tell that Tyler felt completely out of his element when you were lead through a series of different leg lifts, but you could also tell that he was trying and the look of concentration on his face as he tried to keep his leg straight as he raised it out in front of him was really adorable.

"Okay, now squeeze that ball with your inner inner thighs as you slowly lower," the instructor said, "Now add in a relevé"

"What's a relevé?" Tyler asked you in a whisper, looking back over his shoulder at you.

"Go on your tips toes," you said, and then you could see him inhale as he did so. When you stepped out into a wide plie Tyler turned to face you, and you watched his face turn again when you had to lift your heels, looking at you and then out to the side, and then he stood back upright, bending down to pick Bentley up.

"He was fussing," Tyler said, as he stepped back to the barre, holding Bentley with one hand and the ball with the other for him, Bentley's fist coming onto the ball as he looked at it.

"No, he wasn't," you laughed.

"Well, he was about to," Tyler said with a big grin on his face, and you smiled back at him, as he held Bentley securely to his chest, catching back up the the squats you were doing with the class, although he left his heels on the floor, pulsing just a little. When you were told you could go back to your mats to finish up with a little bit more core work, Tyler pulled Bentley away from him, keeping on hand held underneath his head, bouncing him slightly. "Was that fun?" Tyler asked, and you didn't even have to see Bentley to know he was smiling, you could tell just by the expression on Tyler's face. Tyler laid Bentley back down on his blanket, and then ran his hand across his face once he sat back down on his mat. "I'm sweating so bad."

You laughed a little, reaching into the diaper bag and pulling out one of the many cloths you had for Bentley, leaning over and pressing it to his forehead. "Thanks," Tyler laughed, and you smiled at him, moving into the crunches against the ball everyone else was doing.

Bentley made a grumpy noise though, and both you and Tyler looked over at him, you reaching for Bentley's hand, probably annoyed that he was no longer being held.

"He's probably mad I got sweat all over his stuff," Tyler said, "And him."

"No, he probably just wanted you to keep holding him," You told Tyler.

"You want to roll onto your belly?" you asked Bentley, moving your hands to your side so you could flip him over and he could lift his head up to look around.

"Look at those strong neck muscles," Tyler said, placing his hand gently on Bentley's back to help give him something to lift up against, but Bentley was now just content at looking around the room.

"Okay, now we're gonna lay down on our backs, and this move is really great for helping to rebuild your core, as well as helping to strengthen your back body which can becoming weaker during pregnancy," the instructor said, and then paused, "And Dad, this'll be great for you too, for helping to strengthen all the muscles you'll need for carrying baby."

You felt a rush of heat go through you with her words, your heart caught in your throat, and all you could do was notice yourself freezing up, before you very slowly tried to look at Tyler. But he seemed so focused on the exercise that you weren't even sure he'd heard what had been said, intended for him, but he did glance over at you, like he felt your eyes on him, giving you a little smile.

Tyler's foot kept brushing against your leg again as you moved into hip circles, sliding his bum across the mat so he could reach you and you tried glaring at him but he was looking straight up at the ceiling, playing like he was completely unaware.

"Babe," you whispered, and you could see the corners of his lips turn up just a little, but he kept doing it every time he had to extend his leg to his left.

You looked at him once more when you were doing glute bridges and Tyler seemed to extend his hips even further, his eyebrows raising towards you before he started giggling, and you ran your hand over your face, which was growing hot with embarrassment, trying not to laugh.

You smiled at Tyler again as you stretched, and then at Bentley, who was just blinking as he continued to take in his environment. Your fingers brushed Tyler's as you got up, rolling up your mats as you talked with some of the other moms you've met. When you'd gotten back from putting away your weights, Tyler had scooped Bentley up, with his cozy blanket wrapped around him.

"Is he sleeping?" you said softly, leaning your head to look at Bentley's face where it was resting against Tyler's chest, his eyes blinking still, but they stayed shut for longer and longer each time, his mouth opening and closing peacefully.

"Yeah, he was going like this, like he was gonna face plant," Tyler said, imitating Bentley, his head falling forward and then jolting awake. "I need to go home and take a nap, Mom, watching you guys workout made me really tired."

"Awe," you said, running your hand over Bentley's head, and he snuggled against Tyler even more. "K, let's get you home."

Even though Tyler had Bentley he didn't let you take the diaper bag either, wrapping his pinky finger around yours as you walked back to the car.

"Soo..." you said, looking over at him, "What did you think?"

"That was hard," he laughed.

"It was fun having you there, though," you said.

"Yeah, it was," Tyler said, pausing and leaning towards you as much as he could, and you pressed your cheek against his lips. You stayed outside the car as Tyler put Bentley in his carseat, not because you felt like you had to watch over him, but because you didn't really want to get in the car without him. "We should do more stuff like that."

"Like that?" You laughed, leaning against the car door, "Does that mean you're not coming back with me?"

"I don't really think it's intended for me," Tyler said, standing up now that he had Bentley buckled in, one hand in the car still, rubbing along Bentley's chest and offering him his pacifier because he always fussed right when he got in his car seat. "Like, it was cool, but I think it's more a mom/baby thing. But I would totally do a private workout with you."

"Oh, yeah?"

"And I don't mean sex."

"Yes, i know what you meant," you said.

"I know how you think," he said, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face. "My trainer would love you though."

"Why's that?"

"Because you make me want to be better," he said simply, his hands resting on your hips,looking at you softly for a moment before he pressed his lips to yours. Your hands came up, resting on his shoulders. "I would totally love to do more stuff with the three of us though, like-"

"Yeah,me too," you said, smiling at each other for a moment, and then you eased up on your tiptoes, kissing him.

"I'm surprised you can still lift up like that, my calves are dead."

"I wanted to enough," you said, kissing him once more,and then he held you to him, hugging you with his lips in your hair, and rested your head against his chest, smiling when noticed that he had a drool mark from Bentley on his t-shirt,staying there together for a bit before you pulled apart, Tyler shutting the back door softly, and then opening the passenger side door for you, waiting until you were secure inside before he shut it, too.

A few days later you'd gotten what you'd been wishing for, when you'd decided to do one of the the things you'd read of things to do with a baby as young as Bentley which was to go to a baby-friendly movie showing, which meant that it had dimmer lights and quieter sound as well as places for putting strollers, and changing diapers, and warming up bottles. Mostly, though, you were just happy about the fact that you wouldn't have to worry about your baby starting to cry and annoying everyone else in the movie theatre.

You let Tyler pick out the movie earlier in the week when you'd suggested this to him, because you didn't really care what you watched, you just wanted to get out of the house, so he'd picked out the new John Wick movie which you knew absolutely nothing about.

"We should go sit in the back," Tyler said, as you stepped up the stairs in the otherwise empty theatre.

"Why?"

"So we can make out," he responded.

"Tyler," you laughed again, "there's gonna be families."

"Yeah, that's why we're going in the back," he said, smirking at you and then laughing, although he led you to a seat located more in the middle of the theatre, his hand going to the side of your arm as you walked, and then holding down the seat for you, finally settling on your bare knee once you'd sat down. You'd gotten there earlier than you'd probably had to, because sometimes it felt like it took forever to get out the door with Bentley, but other times it seemed like you had everything under control.

Tyler didn't seem to be complaining, though, resting his head against your shoulder as you held Bentley up in front of you so he could look at both you and Tyler.

"Are you excited to be at your first movie?" Tyler asked him, "Or are you gonna fall asleep?"

"Probably fall asleep," you said, "it's almost naptime."

"Yeah,I know," Tyler said, and then you felt him sigh against him.

"What?" You asked, "you're not gonna fall asleep, too, are you?"

"No," Tyler said, "it just sucks that I'm gonna have to pack when we get home."

"Well, I'll help you," you laughed, because he could be so dramatic at times.

"No, that's not what i mean. I mean, obviously you're gonna help me. But I don't want to go."

"What?" You asked, pulling back from where he was leaning against you, simultaneously moving Bentley so you were holding him in a seated position facing Tyler. "But I thought you loved going. And you were looking forward to spending with your dad."

"Yeah, but that was when i was technically single, so it'd be weird if I said I didn't want to do anything but hang out with you," he said, "But now that we're together, I just want to spend time with my favourite person."

Your expression softened, and you would have reached out and touched his face if you weren't holding Bentley, so you settled for leaning against him now. "You know we can't spend every single minute together, right?"

"No, I know," Tyler said, nuzzling against you, "But we just got to be together, I think I deserve to be a little selfish."

"I know, I don't really want you to go either," you said, "but you kind of have to."

"But why?" Tyler whined again, even though you knew he knew he was going to go, but he just had to make a scene about it.

"Because Texas Hockey Day is in Texas, not Ontario for some reason."

Tyler laughed, before saying, "Yeah, Americans are weird like that," he ran his finger up and down your arm, "I guess there's no way I can convince you to come with me?"

You almost wanted to say "yes". But you also knew that if you were there, that it would take away from what he was there to do, and the time that he'd already planned to have with his dad. "You're gonna be busy, and he doesn't have a passport yet, so we can't go."

"What? You have to have a passport for babies?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's dumb," Tyler said, "I don't think I'd let you come anyways, though."

"But you just said you wanted me to!" you laughed.

"I do, but you've got this guy, and that's too much for just a couple of days," Tyler said, "so if you could just call everyone and let them them know why I can't come,that'd be great."

"Tyler," you laughed, and he grinned back at you.

"I know, I know, I'll go," Tyler said, kissing you softly on the lips. "I'm just gonna fucking miss you."

"I'm gonna -"

"Don't swear in front of the baby," Tyler interrupted.

You shook your head a little at him, "Just think about how much those kids would miss you if you weren't there "

"Yeah," Tyler said, a smile creeping onto his face, because you knew he actually really enjoyed getting to go, "What about about this kid, though?" Tyler asked, wiggling Bentley's foot. "Are you gonna miss me?"

"Of course he is," you said, Bentley reaching his arms out towards Tyler, so you support him, letting him lean in, and Tyler moved his face into Bentley's outstretched hands, letting Bentley hit him in the face, and then when Bentley's hand came close, exaggerating like he was going to take a bite,and Bentley gave him a couple of big grins. "Oh, I'm gonna eat your fingers, you better watch out, " Tyler said, playfully nipping at Bentley's fingers and he squealed, still waving his hands in the air.

You smiled, pressing your lips to Bentley's temple. "Is that funny?"

"That's almost a laugh," Tyler said.

"He loves it," you said, leaning your head around so you could watch Bentley's face as Tyler interacted with him, resting your head against the back of the seat. Both of you kind of grew quiet when the previews started, but you weren't even really paying attention, not until Tyler said, "Oh, you want to go see The Lion King when it comes out, Bentley?"

You laughed looking at Bentley, his mouth open a little like he didn't know quite what to think about this and his eyes wide.

"I want to see it," you said.

"Yeah, me too, but if we take him then we look all cute and sweet and I don't look like some dude who loves the Lion King."

You laughed, still watching Bentley take in the screen.

"Those are lions," Tyler said to him, "They've got four legs and four paws like your puppies do at home, but they're not as cuddly."

Bentley cooed back at Tyler in response, and you smiled, Bentley's hand clutching your finger.

"Do you want me to open your M&M's for you?" Tyler asked, because you'd been talking talking about getting peanut M&M's since last night night, and you'd gotten them pretty much soon as Tyler had finished buying your tickets.

"No, I'm saving them."

"Saving them for what?" He laughed.

"For the movie, I don't want to finish them before its over."

"I can go get you more," Tyler laughed.

"No, I just want you to stay here," you said, "and I don't want to eat more than one package."

"And half my gummy bears?" Tyler asked.

"Maybe..." you said, and you felt Tyler snicker next to you, even though you knew he was going to end up sharing yours too, Bentley resting against you now as you and Tyler leaned against each other as you watched the next preview, you hand running over Bentley's head, Tyler's thumb moving back and forth over your hand.

"We should go somewhere," Tyler said softly.

"Hmmm?"

"Like when I get back, we should go away somewhere, like a little vacation," he said, tracing circles on your leg

"With Bentley?"

"No, we're gonna leave him by himself, of course we'd bring Bentley with us," Tyler scoffed, and then laughed.

"I didn't know what you meant.."

"I just meant," Tyler said, kissing you on the cheek, "That we could go somewhere, not far, but just somewhere where we could say that we're actually on vacation. And I could take a week off, and we could just hang out, and be alone, and relax, and not have any commitments."

"That sounds...kinda amazing," you said.

"Yeah?"

"Mhmm," you said, kissing him softly, "We should definitely figure something out."

"I can't wait," Tyler said, kissing you on the head, and then he looked down and Bentley, who was leaning against you but rubbing his eyes now.

"You getting sleepy?" you asked him.

"Do you want me to go heat up his bottle?"

"Yes, please," you said, bouncing Bentley now because he was starting to whine, as Tyler was making him bottle for him.

"Well, if you would have told me you were starting to get hungry earlier, I would have made this for you sooner, bud " Tyler said, as he stepped quickly back up the stairs. "Is this okay for him?"

He pressed the bottle against your wrist, like he always did, even though he'd only made it too hot once, and even then he'd known to let it cool down for a bit before he offered it to Bentley.

"Yes," you said, waiting for him to sit down before you passed Bentley over to him, Tyler easily taking him so he was laying down, moving to give him his bottle, which Bentley took and sucked on for a moment before he started crying. Tyler bounced him, and tried to soothe him and offer him the bottle again, but he kept moving his head away.

"You want Mama to feed you?" Tyler asked, sitting Bentley up and then passing him over to you, and Bentley just immediately started rooting for your breast, Tyler leaning forward to put the bottle back in the diaper bag. "I think he just wants the real thing."

"But you gave him a bottle last night and he was fine," you said, even though you pulled the top of your dress away so you could feed him.

"Yeah, babies aren't really knowing for being logical," Tyler said.

"It's probably just because this is different than his usual routine," you said, "and I think he has to concentrate more with the bottle and he's probably more distracted because we're not at home..."

"Plus he knows you're right there, he doesn't want settle for the bottle, I know, I'm not offended," Tyler said, stretching his arm around the back of your seat and getting more comfortable as the movie started.

"That's good," you said, relaxing yourself now, "I can't believe there's no one else here."

"Well, it's the afternoon, people are probably out in the sun."

"Yeah, I guess, I just thought there'd be other people here with their babies."

"It's pretty awesome to have this whole place to ourselves though," Tyler said, setting his feet up on the seat in front of him, crossing his ankles.

You laughed, and Tyler shrugged at you. "What, you can have your boobs out but I can't put my feet up?"

"Tyler," you laughed.

"At least we're alone so you don't have some creep staring at you," Tyler said, as you were adjusting Bentley,and then you found him very deliberately staring at your boob as if he was examining it

"Stop," You laughed, "just watch the movie."

"'K," Tyler said, his hand running over your shoulder and then rubbing over the back of your neck as you fed the baby, which was really relaxing. By the time Bentley was done and you were wrapping him up on his blanket and and cradling him, Tyler was ready with Bentley's pacifier, letting him take it, and then running his thumb over Bentley's cheek and then up and down between his eyebrows as you tried to rock him as best as you could. Luckily, though, he was pretty relaxed, so it wasn't long before he was peacefully. You held him until your arm was falling asleep, and then you whispered to Tyler than you were going to put him down in his stroller, and Tyler nodded, you carefully walked down the few stairs and then laid Bentley down on the basinette pair of his stroller, turning on the portable white noise machine and pulling the cover over it so the movie wouldn't bother him.

"Well, that worked out well," Tyler said to you when you got back, holding his arm out like wanted you to cuddle up with him.

"I know," you said. You'd expected to have to put him in his baby wrap during movie and figured he'd probably be alright like that, but since you had the whole theatre to yourself, you'd knew he'd probably have a better nap in his stroller, and you kind of liked you and Tyler leaning against each other, the part of your legs that were not covered by your dress or his shorts pressed naturally together, sneaking little kisses and smiles at each other, your hands laced together.

Part of you felt like you'd been together forever, like you'd built a whole life together, but somehow it felt new, and fresh, and exciting too. You knew, too, that you didn't really want to be that annoying couple who was kissing and seemed to always have to be connected to each other in public constantly. But you just couldn't help it. And, in a weird way, you felt like you suddenly believed that there was one person out there for everyone, and you felt just so happy, that you felt like you needed everyone to know just how truly loved they could feel, that they shouldn't settle for anything less than this.

You'd never felt so compelled just to kiss someone though, and it seemed he kind of felt the same way, because you just seemed to keep kissing for longer and longer each time, until you seemed to realize that you were supposed to be watching a movie. When his hand, which had previously been settled in yours came up to cup your jaw though, all bets were off, and you found yourself turning in your seat, seeking more of his lips. It wasn't long before it felt like your breathing and the sound of your heart beat were louder than the sound of the movie, and when your hand curled around his bicep, your broke apart to breathe, staring at each other in the dim light, his chest rising and falling and his hips swollen, his eyes dark. It seemed like everything slowed down for just two deep breaths, like you, were trying to collect yourself, but then you couldnt even think about anything at all, not when both his hands cupping your face, tilting your head just right, your lips moving together, his tongue sweeping along the bottom of your lips and you felt him sigh, kissing down your jawline, your then you were holding onto his chest and his shoulder, feeling his beard scratch the sensitive skin of your neck, soothing it with his lips, and then when you sighed, he seemed to press into your further, his hand settling on the curve of your chest, seemingly intent on sucking a hickey into the side of the neck, like you were teenagers, but you weren't gonna deny that it didn't have the desired effect, a rush of heat flowing through your body.

"Tyler..." you breathed.

"Yeah, I know, I know," he said breathlessly, his hands roaming now and peppering kisses all over the swell of your breasts. It was when he started sucking at the flesh that your hand went to the top of his hat moving his mouth away from from hat, and then he looked at you in question, his tongue licking his lips fixing his hat on his head, almost looking like he was wondering if he'd done something.

"Not there," you said, your voice sounding more strained than you expected sweeping your hand across your chest, "It's sensitive."

"Sorry," he murmured, dropping his head again and placing a kiss in the centre of your chest and then soothing his hand over side of your breasts and then his fingers wove through your hair, his lips pressing into yours softly, and then more firmly, and you were vaguely aware that you were in public, that you were somebody's mother, for god's sake, but with his hand just above your knee, inching further up, your dress bunching up and the callouses from his palms rubbing against your bare leg.

"Tyler," you said again, but this time he was looking at you devilishly as his hand slid further up, toying with the band of your panties where it stretched over your hip. "Wha—?"

"There's no one here," he said softly, and your head just felt lost in a rush of feelings and sensations, like you'd never been touched before, let alone touched by him.

"This feels dirty," you said, and then you almost wanted to cover your face because you felt just completely giddy, and high, and like you just couldn't believe this was real.

But then you looked in his eyes and it was.

"In a good way or a bad way?" He asked, smirking at you.

"I mean..." you said, and Tyler laughed, yet you moved your legs for him to continuing taking your panties off, which he then proceed to lean forward with, his hand still on your knee, shoving them into the pocket on the diaper bag and ....oh, you thought, your eyes drifting to where the light from the movie was fluttering over the top of the stroller.

"He's sleeping, he's fine," Tyler said in an even voice.

"I know," you said, and Tyler gave little smile, the scent of his body wash invading you senses when he leaned in to nibble at your neck again.

"Wanna make you feel good," he said deep in your ear, and then you felt your body shiver, his hand coming to ease up your inner thigh. "Are you relaxed?"

"Not at all," you laughed, and Tyler did too, his hand moving as your legs parted, running his fingers between your lips, hip fingers seeking out your clit, pressing against it. Your muscles tremble a little as his fingers swept down, collecting your arousal, and then using it as his fingers circled your clit.

"Little excited, huh?" Tyler asked, his voice teasing.

"As if you're not," you choked out, wanting to look down at him to check for yourself, but it was really hard to focus on anything other than him touching you, the sensation flowing into your muscles now, and your breath stuttering a bit. You were so quiet, you didn't think he could even hear you, but he seemed to be watching you so intently that he picked up on the change in the rise and fall of your chest, his mouth kissing at your neck and then your lips as he rubbed slow circles around your clit, the noise of the movie in the background fading away. When your hips pressed forward, Tyler's finger traced your entrance slowing pushing inside, and your jaw when lax with relief.

"Oh god," you moaned quietly letting your eyes fall shut, and when he changed the angle to brush against your g-spot , your legs tremble already, your head resting back, and then going to rest near his chest wanting to feel even closer to him, and it was all you could do to focus on the the sensation of his finger filling you, his thumb rubbing against your clit, pulling your lips between your teeth in an attempt not to lose all control. You felt like you were getting close, so sensitive it felt like you could feel every inch of your breasts against your bra.

You jolted upward though, your head putting together the band of light and the noise of the door opened, you face feel incredibly flushed as your tried to frantically to arrange your face and your hair in someway to look presentable, Tyler's hand just somehow calmly removing itself, smoothing your dress down and then just resting it in your lap like it'd been there the whole time.

You didn't dare look at Tyler, not when you say the man in the blue uniform shirt step into theatre, looking up in the seats like he was just checking i anyone was there, but you could just tell that Tyler was relaxed beside you, his eyes on the screen, like he was so absorbed he didn't even notice anyone else was there. The guy nodded at the both of you though, before he turned to leave, and you lifted your hand in a wave, and then you felt Tyler laugh next to you, knowing that he'd been paying attention the whole time. You felt frozen until you heard the door close, waiting you could listen to the footsteps going down the hallway. You relaxed again, looking at Tyler out of the corner of your eye as he pulled his hand from your lap, taking it to fix his hat, and then moving it to the back of his neck, relaxing and watching the movie, completely oblivious to you, and then your eyes widened, flicking over to him.

"What are you-?"

"Oh, what you wanted something?" Tyler laughed, and you could tell he was trying to be serious but failing miserably, his hand moving between your legs again, "I thought you were thinking we shouldn't do this here..."

"Tyler," you said, a little more firmly this time, beginning to feel a little annoyed because you'd been close, and then he'd just taking all stimulation away. For good reason, of course, but now that you were alone again...

"Don't worry, I would never leave you hanging," Tyler laughed, his hand moving right back where you wanted, and you let out a breathy little "oh god" as he slid his long middle finger inside you.

Tyler murmured a sound of appreciation, his finger curving upwards inside you, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit. All you hear was the sound of your breathing, your pussy throbbing around his finger. "More."

"Fuck," Tyler said, adding a second finger slowly, and then thrusting against your g-spot once your leg started trembling again. You needing something to grab onto, so you reached, gripping his thigh as your head thrashed back and forth. You wanted to tell him that you were close, to not stop, but you couldn't find words, not with his fingers fucking in and of you.

"C'mon, baby," Tyler said, his voice a rush of soft syllables in your ear, "Cum for me."

You shivered as you let go, you eyes shutting as you peaked, gripping Tyler's thigh so hard it was probably painful but you couldn't stop, his continuing ministrations extending your climax, his movements moving with you as you came down, several small courses of pleasure still going through you.

"That was so fucking hot," Tyler said, once you'd become too sensitive, you legs opening and then closing, and he'd taken the hint, his hand now resting against your thigh, your wetness from his fingers against your own skin and he pulled your lips to his, somehow managing to kiss you both deeply and yet softly at the same time, only pulling back because you were still trying to catch your breath.

Your legs felt wobbly, even sitting down especially so when Tyler raised his fingers to his mouth, pulling your juices off of them, his eyes sliding shut a little. You felt a little dazed him kissing your lips once more and then his arm wrapped around you, pulling your head to rest on his chest, his lips rested against your hair for a moment before he raised eyes back to the screen.

You realized that your hand was still on thigh, near his knee and you squeezed it a little, feeling him do the same to your arm in a silent "I love you."

Your cheeks rose in a smile against the hard muscles of Tyler's chest, your eyes drifting upwards to where you could see his cock outlined in his shorts. You feel his sharp intake of breath when your fingers brushed his thigh, moving your palm over his hard length.

"Babe..." Tyler mutter, and you shifted up to look at him, his expression looking a little dazed, and he gave you a weak smile. "You don't have to...."

"You don't want me to?" You asked, sliding your hand back and forth over him, and Tyler blinked, like he was just aware now.

"Oh, hell yeah, I want you to," he said, "I was just trying to be a gentleman, caring about your needs, and..."

"Oh?" you mused, his hand coming to clasp the back of your head, pulling you in for a kiss, your knuckles rubbing back and forth over him.

"Mmmbabe," Tyler said, already shifting his hips so you could free his cock, hissing when you wrapped your hand around him. You pumped him slowly a couple of times, loving the way his body reacted to your touch. Your eyes looked to the side as you thought, slowly removing your hand, and you heard Tyler huff out a little breath.

"Jesus christ," Tyler swore loudly, his eyes going wide as you move your hands between your own legs, slicking up your hands, and then you moved back to grip Tyler. "Fuck."

"Good?" You asked, feeling a little bit drunk with power, the way his head fell back a little a he sucked in a breath.

"So good," he said, his eyes connecting with yours, eyelids heavy. "You can....a bit harder."

You tighten your grip, adding your other hand, twisting it in opposition.

"Oh fuck yes," Tyler groaned. With the way his hand moved shakily down over your hair and your shoulder and your arm, his breath coming in soft pants and little moans escaping his lips, although you could tell he was trying to be quiet as you jerked him off, not sure if he was even aware of the fact he raising his hips to meet your strokes. When your hand trailed deeper into his shorts, cupping his balls, you on felt his thighs tense.

"I'm gonna cum," Tyler let out, and you subconsciously clenched your thighs together, watching his face as he released, face screwed up in pleasure and then his mouth fell open in a silent moan. You felt like you were as as breathless as he was, your hand rubbing back and forth over his contracted abs

You were hardly even aware of his hand tangling in your hair before he pulled you to him, ignored the fact that you both were a mess, kissing you like you were in bed, contemplating round 2, not in the middle of a movie theatre. You both seemed to calm down though, probably from the force of your orgasms, slowly separating, but keeping your faces close, meeting for one more chaste kiss, your arms pulling away from each other, heads pressed together, his arms rubbing up down your back a little

"Do you have any napkins in your bag?" Tyler asked softly, and you pulled back a little, contemplating it, starting to laugh.

"I lots of baby wipes," you said, leaning forward into his chest as you laughed.

"Are you done?" Tyler asked, when you lifted up.

"I think there's tissues in the side pocket," you said, laughing again.

"What is wrong with you?" Tyler laughed. "I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing you laugh all the time after have sex."

"It's a good thing," you said, "a really, really good thing."

"Good," Tyler said, kissing you softly as you sat back properly in your seat, looking ahead.

"I'm just gonna go check on him real quick," you said, kissing Tyler's temple.

"'K," He smiled, you walking softly down the steps using your hand to pull back the cover, finding Bentley still sound asleep. When you got back to Tyler he was sitting with his eyes on the screen, extending his arm to wrap around you.

"Still sleeping?"

"Yeah, he's out."

No sooner did you sit down though that the credits started to roll, and Tyler laughed ''So, what did you think of the movie?"

"I...." you said, and Tyler started giggling, his hand rubbing over yours.

"Maybe we should stay for the next one and actually do what we came here for," Tyler said, waving your M&M's in front of you.

"'K" you said, smiling and kissing him once.

"Still can't keep your hands off me?" Tyler smirked.

"Nope,: you grinned.

"I'm totally okay with that," he said, kissing you this time.


	60. Chapter 60

For some reason, it was so much easier to say goodbye to Tyler now that you were together.

You still missed him, of course you did, but you also knew that he was coming home to you, that he was wishing that you were there right now.

It wasn't that you'd even not told each other you missed each other, or that you loved each other, but it was so much more real now. You knew he was going to call you, not under the guise of just letting you know that he'd arrived or because he wanted to check and see how you were doing, but because he just wanted to hear the sound of your voice or share your days together, even when you weren't physically together.

You'd been pretty much inseparable the past couple of weeks, and while you certainly wouldn't complaining about that continuing, it was nice to have some one-on-one time with Bentley, too. Well, with three labs not far from you at all times, because Tyler had actually let all three of them stay with you when he was gone this time,although he'd made you promise that you'd call his mom if it got to be too much and you need her to pick the boys up. It wasn't too much, though, not when they were just part of their home, and even though Tyler had only been gone for a few hours, you really didn't think you'd have any issues.

You'd tried to help Tyler pack last night, while Bentley was sleeping in his room like he usually did during the first part of the evening, while usually you and Tyler would watch TV until Bentley got up for his later feeding, and then he'd come into your room for the night. Except, you'd somehow realized that Tyler didn't have his bags at your house, and you'd wanted him to go home and grab them so he could be ready to to go in the morning, but he'd insisted that he'd be fine, that he'd just figure it out before he left, that all he wanted to do was order in a pizza, and lay in bed with you. You'd ordered the pizza, of course, but you'd had to get half of it with his toppings and have with yours, because he seemed to be offended by the mere idea of putting vegetables on a pizza, even though you'd explained that, technically, the tomato sauce did contain vegetables. Somehow, though, while you were trying to sort through your laundry, you'd ended up kissing. And then the touching over clothes turned int8uo touching against warm skin, and you ended up having slow sex, like you wanted to memorize the feeling of his skin against yours, your lips moving together, how he felt inside you. You gotten so dang lost in each other, that you hadn't heard the pizza boy knock a couple of times, which prompted him to knock louder, and then Tyler had had to scramble out of bed and pull a pair of shorts on while you went to deal with Bentley, who was then crying, and the dogs, who were then barking. So you'd ended up watching T.V. and eating pizza in bed, but with the baby on your boob and the dogs at your feet and Tyler reclined next to you.

It was perfect.

It was a bit of a mess getting Tyler out the door, mainly because you suspected he wasn't quite as prepared as he suggested that he was, and you'd all somehow managed to fall back asleep early this morning, even though you'd been pretty sure that Bentley had decided that the day should start at five in the morning.

Still, Tyler had leaned in when you said goodbye to him at the door, kissing you long, and slow, and soft, his lips just barely pressed against yours and, yet somehow managing to have no space between you, either. You smiled, every time, because you could still feel his lips, his hand holding your waist. You knew he was coming back.

But you knew it wasn't always going to be just a few days.

The summer was just barely getting started, and already you were worried about what was going to happen when it was over. Right now, you didn't even feel like you could force yourself to be anything other than blissed out with the newness of everything, but there was that little part of you that knew the summer was going to end, and you already felt like you should do something to brace yourself, knowing that that would probably be harder than when he left last year, when you were newly pregnant, and it had felt like you'd gotten the rug pulled out from under you, like you'd lost your anchor.

Now, though, his shoes were still by your front door, your bedsheets smelled like a mix of him, and dogs, and baby, just like home, his name lighting up your phone screen.

"Hi," you smiled, pulling your phone to your ear and kind of surprised he was calling because he had already texted you to let you know be landed, but kind of not surprised either, because it was you and Tyler.

"Hey," he responded, his voice sounding quiet, like you were the only person he ever wanted to talk to. "What's up?"

"Like what am I doing?" You laughed, leaning over to pause the TV."

"Yep."

"Oh, I'm pumping," you said.

You kind of expected Tyler to laugh, but he didn't. "Ah, what are the boys up to?" He asked, "All four."

"Bentley's swinging," you smiled, looking over at him and laughing, because his eyes were looking rather sleepy, just barely focused on the toys hanging above him, "And Cash and Marshall are sleeping, and Gerry's playing with a toy. Oh, no, Marshall's awake actually."

Tyler laughed as you leaned over, petting the head that had popped up. "Is he staring at you now?"

"Yes," you said, continuing to rub Marshall between the ears even as he set his head back down. "What are you guys up to?"

"Ah, we just got to the house, Dad's hanging some of his clothes up or something, then we're gonna go grab something to eat."

"Oh, did you bring enough outfits?" You asked.

"Did I bring enough outfits?" Tyler repeated with a laugh, and you realized that probably wasn't the best word for you to use. "Umm..yeah, I live here, you know, I have enough stuff here."

That seemed weird to you, too, to have your stuff scattered around and various places and, thinking about it, you realized that he had stuff at both of his houses, at your house, at his mom's house, like his life was just split, and he was all the way out there and you were all the way back here.

"Do you need me to check on anything at your house?" You asked, "I'm probably gonna take the boys over there today or tomorrow and let them go swimming."

You froze a little, realizing that you probably should have spelled the word out rather than said it, but luckily none of the dogs seemed to perk their ears up.

"Mmmnope," Tyler said easily, even though you weren't sure entirely when the last time he was at his house was. "So...I'm pretty sure my dad knows we had sex."

"What?" you barked out a laugh.

"Yeah," Tyler said, and you could almost hear him moving his hand over his face as he thought. "Like, he kept asking how you were and stuff, and he was asking stuff like he knew that I stayed at your house last night."

"Is that a bad thing?" You laughed.

"No, but I didn't really think he'd assume we were sleeping together."

"Well, I don't..." you started, laughing, pulling your legs up under yourself, "I mean, I think its kinda obvious like our families know you've seen me naked at least."

"What are you talking about? No, they don't."

"Tyler," you said, "you lifted up the cover when I was feeding him at the restaurant and looked at my boobs."

"What? No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did," you laughed, waiting for him to go through the moment in his mind again.

"Oh...oops," Tyler said now, "Okay, for the record, I was looking at him not your boobs."

"Well, my boobs were there," you laughed again.

"Sorry?" Tyler said, a little sheepishly, and you laughed a third time.

"I don't think anyone was surprised, you were there when I gave birth," you said, "Like, really, right up in there."

"I got caught up in the moment," Tyler said, his voice hinted with a tone of awe. "And everyone probably knew we had sex already, I know how girls talk."

"No, not everyone knew," you said. "Just Danielle."

"Not your sister?"

"Well, no, she knew, but not right away, she figured it out later."

"Mhmm," Tyler said smugly.

"What?"

"I just knew you'd talked about it."

"Oh, so what, you didn't tell anyone?"

"No, I don't talk to people about that stuff, that's private," Tyler said, "Although if you want to tell everyone how good I am in bed, I don't have a problem with it."

"Tyler," you scolded. "I didn't tell her everything, just...see would notice when I started not going to the doctor every month, and I couldn't be like 'Hey, I'm going over to Tyler's house, but you can't come because we have to have sex'".

Tyler started giggling, "Oh, had to?"

"Well, not had to," you clarified. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," Tyler said, "so you guys just hanging out this weekend?"

"Yeah, we're just gonna play and nap, and I'm gonna go see my mom on Sunday," you said, "my main goal though is to watch our sheets so they're clean when yoyou get home."

"I can't wait," Tyler said, and then you could hear his dad's voice in the background before he realized Tyler was on the phone, anand then you smiled, because you could here him asking if he was talking to you, to which Tyler replied an "Mhmm" and you could hear Paul say, "Tell her I say hi".

"Dad says "hi", Tyler said.

"Yeah, I heard, " you laughed, "Tell him I say hi."

You could hear Tyler telling him, shifting on the couch 1and looking down at what you were doing. "So you guys going out now?"

"Yeah, Dad promised he'd buy me lunch," Tyler said, laughing, and you could hear Paul in the background saying otherwise. "I'll call you later though, okay?"

"Okay," you smiled, about to say goodbye to him as you were standing up to go into the kitchen.

"I love you," Tyler said, his voice soft, and light, and playful, but you knew he meant it, and it still made you stop where you were, even with bottles hanging off your boobs and you smiled.

"I love you, too."

He called you later, like he said he would too, and this time you smiled when you saw it was a Facetime call, answering it to see him sitting back in a lounge chair like he planned to talk to you for awhile, and smiling when he saw you, even though you were laying on your back on the floor, the phone held at what was an incredibly unflattering angle, and he was just looking so damn good, his sunglasses reflecting the phone in his hand back at you.

"Hey," you smiled, holding your phone up above your head, "How's it going?"

"Good," he said, moving his hand behind his

head, and you shifted so Bentley's head came into view.

"Whatcha guys doing?" Tyler asked.

"We were just looking at some books" you said, Bentley making little noises, and you turned your head, kissing him on the cheek. "He didn't really take a very good nap, so I'm trying to have quiet time so he doesn't get overtired."

"Ah," Tyler said, gazing off like he was thinking. "Did you know its really good for you to read books to babies his age, even though they can't understand the words? Like, it helps them learn about emotions, and inflections, and stuff. Is that right? Inflections?"

"Yes," you smiled, "Inflections. And I did know that."

"Well, of course you did," Tyler said playfully, smiling at you. "I just thought it was kind of cool. Is he into looking at books?"

"Umm.." you said, looking over at Bentley. "Well, he mostly just looks at me rather than the book."

"Obviously, " Tyler grinned, and you smiled, moving your head to find Bentley looking back at you.

"He has this book at home, that's like all black and white so its high contrast, he'll stare at that."

"Oh," Tyler started, and then he frowned, looking closer to the phone. "Are you at my house?"

"Yeah, don't you recognize the carpet?" You asked.

"No?" Tyler asked, "It's the same as yours."

"No, it's not."

"Well, similar," Tyler said, "I'm colour blind, remember?"

"No, you are not," you said, and even though you couldn't see behind his sunglasses, you knew that he had those crinkles he got right at the the corners of his eyes when he was really happy, not just smiling for show and you could tell, somehow, just by the position of his body that he had his legs comfortably crossed. "You look relaxed."

"Well, how could I not be?" Tyler asked, "The sun's out, I've got a beautiful girl on the phone, and Dad's over their getting a tan."

You smiled, "Did you put sunscreen on?"

"Whose mom are you?" Tyler laughed, even though he turned his hat around so it was shading his face, sticking his tongue out at you. "You really like this face, huh?"

"No, I really like you," you said, and Tyler smiled, running his hand over his face, and then you smiled too, looking over at Bentley babbling to himself.

"Did you try to put him down to nap there? Is that why he didn't sleep?"

"No, he slept for a bit," you said. You'd forgotten that Tyler had bought a Dockotot for his house as well as a the same bouncer that you had at your house because he wanted Bentley to have "somewhere to chill" at his house, which made it a lot easier to head over to Tyler's house without having to actually pack everything you needed to bring. You'd managed to put him down for a nap for about 45 minutes though, settled in his dockatot on the dining room table, so you could keep an eye on him while you tidied up around Tyler's place. Not because it was really messy, but more because you just had this urge to be domestic, to give him something nice to come home to. "He was really sad earlier, and we needed to get out of the house so we came over here, and we just had some time outside and threw sticks for the dogs."

"Did it help?" Tyler asked.

You nodded. "I just put him in his wrap thing and walked around, and then he seemed to calm down."

You left out the part that Bentley had screamed the entire car ride over, which had made the dogs cry.

Thankfully the car ride was incredibly short.

"He's probably sad because he misses me," Tyler said.

"I'm sure he does," you said, "That's why we've been looking at your books, and your toys, and it made him happy."

"Awe, I miss you guys, too," Tyler said, and then you made a little scream of surprise when Gerry started climbing over you, putting your arm out to stop him and then patting him.

"Do you miss your dad, too?" You asked him, and he sat down, looking at you expectantly, Tyler's laughing coming through the phone. You rubbed Gerry behind the ears, and then Bentley started making noises to let you know that he was not enjoying laying on the floor anymore, and you leaned over, scooping him up so he was in the curve of your arm, and reaching for his pacifier, and he relaxed against your arm.

"Are you gonna sleep good tonight for Mom?" Tyler asked, "I bet you're gonna be tired if you're on a nap strike."

"I hope so," you said, bouncing Bentley a little.

"You should take lessons from this guy," Tyler said, panning the camera over to where his dad was laid out, his hat laid over his face. You watched as Tyler clearly sat up, leaning over and pushing his finger against the hat.

"Tyler," you whispered yelled, and you could hear him laugh, giggling even more when Paul's hand started moving towards his hat while clearly still asleep, Tyler's hand coming out once again to knock it free, and now you could see an eye open, and a smile creeping across his face, while the phone shook ww7ith Tyler trying not to laugh.

"Y/N wanted me to check and make sure you had sunscreen on," Tyler said.

"Oh, I did not!" you protested, which, of course, made Tyler laugh.

"You think I actually believe you?" Paul said dryly, before cracking a smile, and Tyler laughed even more.

"I just wanted you to join the party," Tyler said.

"Hey, Y/N," he said, "how are you?"

"We're good," you smiled, bouncing Bentley a little, "how was your lunch?"

You listened as he told you about this spot that they'd gotten tacos for lunch, and that you should try it the next time you were in Dallas, trying hard not to smile as you could see Tyler doing as he sat back down, because Tyler had already taken you there a7 couple of times. Now that Tyler was sitting down and you were holding Bentley, you pushed yourself up, moving to get more comfortable on the sofa, moving your hair back so Bentley didn't get it tangled around his fingers.

"What happened to your neck?" Tyler asked.

"My neck?" you asked, "Nothing?"

"Like right here?" Tyler said, pointing to an area on his own neck, and you couldn't figure out what he was getting at until you looked at the mischievous look on his face.

"I don't," you said, feeling your face flame red, thinking about the marks that he'd sucked into your neck yesterday, clearing your throat, "Yeah, I don't know."

"Did you burn yourself with a curling iron or something?" Tyler asked now, cockily, and you clenched your jaw, trying hard not to tell him to stop like you wanted to, because then it would be even more obvious, and his dad was freaking right there, but you still tried to shoot a glare at Tyler through the screen so he knew what you were thinking.

"I guess, maybe," you stumbled out, rather inelegantly, and Tyler started laughing, and you wanted to do nothing more than pull your hair right over your face and shrink down into the couch, like you were 14 and you'd been playing Truth or Dare at Tyler's house, completely worried his parents were going to overhear, completely irrationally naive, and always the good girl of the group.

Instead though, you turned your attention to the sweet little thing in your arms, who you kind of never wanted him to grow up and lose his innocence, sliding the pacifier he was looking for towards his mouth, feeling thankful that Tyler's dad also seemed to be ignore his son's laughter.

At least one of the Seguin men didn't want to embarrass you.

"Hi big guy," Paul said in a soft voice, and you smiled, lifting Bentley's head to try and encourage him to look towards your phone.

"Whose that?" you asked him, tapping the screen, but his eyes just kind of passed by, looking towards you, and then he turned his head back to wear it was before, and you laughed.

"Bentley," Tyler said now, half singing and half cooing, "Look at me."

"He's looking at his guard dogs," you said, turning the camera to face where Marshall and Cash were laying near the end of the blanket that you'd Bentley stretched out on.

"You left all the dogs with her?" Paul asked.

"Mhmm.." Tyler answered, looking over at him.

"She wanted me to."

"That just seems like a lot," he said, "three dogs and a baby."

"She's supermom," Tyler said, and the way that he was grinning made your heart clench, like all he wanted to do was talk about you, like he couldn't be more proud of you, and he even imagine that anyone would see you any differently than he did. "She likes them to stay with her to keep her company, otherwise she gets too lonely without me."

He was saying it half like he was exaggerating, but the other half sweetly, and you couldn't even pretend it wasn't true.

"They're really well behaved," you added.

"Oh, I know," Paul said assuredly, "and I know Tyler wouldn't leave you without making sure you were okay."

"No, he wouldn't," you said, smiling softly, your eyes just naturally moving towards Tyler and meeting his gaze. As much as you tried, because you knew that there were other people to pay attention to, too, and yet you couldn't stop from just looking at him.

You felt Bentley's little hand come up, gripping around the top of your shirt like he did so often when you held him like this.

"He's got a strong grip, eh?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, he does that all the time when he's comfy," you smiled, looking down at him. You loved it, really, like he couldn't get snuggle up to you close enough, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead.

"Either that or he just wraps his whole hand around your finger," Tyler said, mimicking with his own hand.

"Yeah, he does," you smiled, bouncing Bentley a little, and then looking back up at the screen. "I can't believe you haven't met him yet."

"Yeah, I remember how it is, it's busy," Paul said.

It felt strange to you, suddenly, to be setting up plans with Tyler's dad, to actually have a kid of your own, and now it was up to you to plan when he got to meet family when, in so many ways, you still felt the same as you did years ago, when you first when off to University, and it seemed completely foreign to you that Tyler had his own place, while you were just getting used to the fact that you didn't have to tell your mom where you were going to be all the time.

It had seemed even stranger, still, that you could just get on a plane by yourself to go visit Tyler, to stay a few nights and just have it be okay.

Or a year or two later, when Tyler had told you he was thinking about getting a dog, and that had seemed like such a huge responsibility, to have someone depending on you, and to workout making sure that Marshall would be taken care of when Tyler was gone.

And, yet, that too, had seemed exciting, to have something to love as your own, to grow with you.

To change you forever.

"We're getting the hang of things," you said, "I mean, for now, I'm sure it'll change again in a few weeks."

"Oh, I'm sure you're a natural," Paul said, "You always took care of my girls. And Tyler a little bit, too."

"Tyler a lot a bit," Tyler grinned, "Still does."

"Well, I didn't want to say anything with you right here," Paul said, smiling before he laughed.

Tyler shrugged, "I know how awesome she is for me, you don't gotta tell me twice," he said, looking at you, "and now we gotta stop talking about this before she starts crying."

"Tyler," you said, even though you had to admit that there was a lump in the back of your throat, your eyes warm with emot

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Don't make fun of me."

"I'm not, you're so cute when you're all emotional," he promised, "I just don't want to get you all crying when I'm not there to cuddle you."

You felt the corners of your mouth tug up into a smile and, once again, you felt your heart clench, and you had to remind yourself that you were together, even though there was still this sweet layer on top, like he still had a crush on you.

"Are you giving Mama lots of cuddles, Bentley?" Tyler asked, in that soft voice that made you fall more and more in love with him every time.

"The best baby cuddles, I don't know how I'm supposed to get anything done with him," you said, your finger running up and down his little hand, feeling the warmth coming from his little body. "But, yeah, you'll have to come meet him after you guys get home, Paul," you said.

"Oh, yeah, for sure," he said, "whatever's easiest for you."

"I mean, anything's fine," you said, "we just really should have done something sooner." It Had just been a lot, lately,though you were proud of yourself for managing to send him a thank you card for the piggy bank he'd sent for Bentley, along with his first few coins to fill it with, and you almost couldn't wait for him to get old enough to tell you what toy or game he wanted to save his birthday money up to buy. But you still felt bad, because you'd seen Tyler's mom and sisters, and you didn't want his dad to feel left out.

"Don't worry about it," he said, "I've been getting so many pictures and videos, it's like I already met him."

'Well, I can't help it," Tyler said.

"What, you're sending him pictures?" You asked, "I've been sending him pictures."

"Oh, I get them from you, from the girls, your mom..." Paul said towards Tyler, "you'll send me one, and then y/n will send the exact same one laterthat night."

You all just kind of looked at each other and laughed, because you could tell that he got it, too. You slid over a little as Marshall jumped up on the couch next to you, sitting up and looking at you for a moment before he laid down, Gerry's nose sniffing at your legs and then at Bentley, while Cash was still laying calmly on the floor, although you'd noticed he'd crawled a bit closer.

"So you're staying at Tyler's, Y/N?" Paul asked, and it took you a moment to process the question.

"Oh, no," you said finally, probably a few moments too late, "we just came over for a bit."

"Yeah, she broke into my house, can you believe it?" Tyler asked.

"You mean with the key you gave her years ago?" Paul asked.

"Yep, that's the one," Tyler grinned. "Then I just come home and she's rearranged my whole spice cabinet, my blankets are tossed over the couch like they're from a magazine, and my freezer is filled with food."

"I said I didn't mean to," you laughed, "I got carried away."

"No, I loved that you nested my house," Tyler said, "Then it was all cute and home-y when I got in, it was awesome."

You smiled, your eyes wandering by the time on the clock on the stove. "Speaking of home, I should probably get this guy home so we can start getting ready for bed."

"We?" Tyler asked. "Wow, you really go to bed early when I'm not there."

You rolled your eyes at his obvious sarcasm. "No, I am going to curl up on the couch, and eat leftover pizza and watch a movie or something with the dogs."

"Glass of wine?" Tyler asked.

"No, I don't like to drink when I have him by myself."

"Ah," Tyler said, "I hope he's not gonna be too mad that I'm not there to give him his evening

"bottle." He was clearly joking, but you smiled as you listened to him tell his dad that that was part of Bentley's routine now for him to make Bentley a bottle while you gave him a bath or got him changed into his pajamas, and then you'd feed him once more before you all went to bed, and now you couldn't help but wonder if it was hard for Tyler to be away from him now, not just because he missed the two of you, but because you couldn't imagine being so far away from your baby.

"You ready to go home and have a nice bath?" you asked Bentley, sitting up a little more, and then you started laughing because you say a flash of white out of the corner of your eye as Gerry started hightailing it out of the room. "No, Gerry, I'm not going to give you a bath!"

Tyler's giggling immediately started coming through the phone, growing louder as he seemed to realize what had happened. "Did he run away?"

You nodded, trying to listen to Gerry's footsteps to figure out where he was. "I think he's hiding in your room."

Tyler laughed again, and you smiled, looking over your shoulder. "I need to go give him hug," you said, thinking about how Gerry probably had his tail tucked between your legs, and also how you could just easily sit here talking to Tyler about nothing over Facetime all night, but you wanted to ensure that he got to spend some quality time with his dad,too, that it just wasn't all about him and you. "You want to say 'bye'?" You asked Bentley, your hand curling around his and moving it like he was waving, and you smiled when Tyler's dad opened and closed his hand slowly in front of the screen.

"You be a good boy," Tyler said, sweetly, in his baby voice.

"Bye, Y/N," Paul.

"Bye," you said, "You guys have fun tomorrow."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Tyler said, and then he paused,like he just realized what he said, tucking his hair behind his ear, and sitting back. "Actually, not gonna lie, I'm definitely gonna talk to you again tonight."

You laughed, as Paul said, "Well, make sure you actually let her get some sleep."

"Yeah, yeah," tyler said, waving him off, and even through his sunglasses, and the camera lens and your phone screen, and the 1, 500 miles between you, you could see the way he was looking at you . "Bye."

"Bye," you echoed, neither one of you moving to disconnect the call. "I love you."

"I love you."

**

Even though Tyler's day was busy and Bentley was having a day where he wanted nothing other than being held, it still feel like Tyler was right there with you, constantly texting you pictures from his time at the event, or selfies from him golfing with his dad, while you sent back the what you thought were the cutest pictures of Bentley, and the dogs. Tyler had also sent you a few different places he'd wanted you to look at for your trip together,and you couldn't help but dream of just getting away, and just having that time were the only thing on your agenda waa to relax,and spend time together, and make memories.

And even though it felt like he'd been right in your pocket the whole day, you were still excited when he texted you to tell you that he was home, and that you could call him when you wanted to, you hit the button to do so, not even worrying that it had been memermemere seconds since he'd texted you.

"Hey," Tyler answered, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "What's up?"

"Just watching T.V.," you said, realizing that you hadn't even turned the sound down on the T.V., leaning over Marshall where he was curled up next to you on the couch to grab the remote. "How was your day?"

"Pretty awesome," Tyler said, "I can't see you though."

"What do you mean you can't see me?" you laughed.

"You didn't send me any pictures of you," Tyler said, "And I sent you pictures of me."

"I sent you back pictures," you protested.

"Yeah, but I only got baby and dog pictures, none of you," Tyler said, "My dad went to bed in case your boobs are out and that's why youdidnt want to facetime me."

"My boobs are not out, thank you very much."

"Well, they were earlier," he said, laughing, and then you felt your phone vibrating, letting you know he was trying to facetime you. So you clicked "Accept", watching as his face came into view, the corners of his lips tilted up in a smile when he saw you. "That's better."

And then neither of you said anything for a moment, Tyler stopping in where he was just walking up the stairs, and you just looked at each other for a moment, like you needed to just see each other for a minute.

"Hi," you said finally, softly, smiling.

"Hi," Tyler repeated, and he started walking again, moving towards his bedroom.

"So your day was good?" you asked again.

"Yeah, it was awesome," Tyler said, flicking the switch to turn the lights on in the bedroom. "My golf game sucked, but whatever."

"How about your hockey game?" You asked,smiling just thinking about the way he had been grinning, his eyes lit up, and the kids he had been skating with clearly believing it was the best day of their lives.

"Average," Tyler said, laughing, "Some of those kids had wheels, and they were all ganging up on me."

He was pouting a little like he was trying to garner sympathy, but you could tell by the smirk on his face and the laugh lines around his eyes that he'd had a blast.

"That picture you sent me was super cute," you said.

"With the kids?" Tyler laughed,and you nodded, "Yeah, they were psyched when I suggested we take a selfie."

"Yeah, I could tell, they looked like they were having so much fun, with all their smiles."

"Yeah, well, I told them I was gonna send the picture to my girlfriend so they better smile big so she thinks I'm Cool."

You felt everything freeze for just a moment, flashing like it might in a dream, your body going warm, and the cold. "Wha-?" You breathed, and then you found your words. "I'm your girlfriend?"

Tyler's eyes widened, and then he laughed, looking at you like you were a little crazy. "Yeah, I thought we talked about that."

"Yeah, well,, obviously," you said, "I just never heard you call me your girlfriend before "

"Well, yeah, you're my girlfriend," Tyler said, grinning wide, "What, you don't call me your boyfriend?"

You contemplated that for a moment, and while he was, of course, the term almost seemed juvenile, like it wasn't quite enough.

You were raising a child together, really.

"I mean, yeah," you said, "I guess I just think of you more like my partner."

"Your partner?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, is that weird?"

"No, you can call me whatever you want," Tyler said, "Your boyfriend, your partner, your lover, your idiot. It all works."

"I would not call you my idiot," you laughed.

"But i am your idiot" Tyler said, "And, really, all that matters is that we're together."

"Yeah," you said,smiling softly.

"Best friend, too," Tyler said, "That's the most important one."

"Well, always," you said, and then Tyler broke into a big grin.

'"I'm telling Danielle you said that."

"Oh my god, you are so competitive," you laughed.

"Well, yeah," Tyler said easily, taking his hat of his head and tossing it into the chair in the corner of his room, locks of his hair falling haphazardly in his face, kinked and curly like he'd washed it then through it under his hat before it dried.

"I love your hair like that."

"Messy?" Tyler asked, an eyebrow raised as he ran his hand through his hair, but it only just returned to the previous position it was in.

"It looks like it does when you wake up in morning."

"That's, like, really weird but also really cute."

"I know," you smiled, and then you did that weird thing again where you were just looking at each other, like you hadn't had enough time just face to face, watching Tyler's eyes moving throughout the background.

"Where's Bentley?"

"He's sleeping," you said, your eyes flicking over to the monitor, a soft smile coming to your face when you saw his peaceful form.

"In his room?"

"Mhmm," you confirmed, expecting him to ask how he'd slept that day, or how he was doing, but instead he asked softly and hopefully, "Can I see him?"

"Yeah," you smiled, turning the camera around as you padded barefoot towards Bentley's room, opening the door quietly, engulfed by the sound of waves from his noise machine, the light from the hallway illuminating a beacon of light across the room, and Cash opened one eye from where he was laying stretched out with his back against Bentley's crib, looking at you but not raising his head. He looked at you a little cautiously as you stepped closer, leaning over the sidsidue of the bed to see Bentley swaddled up in his blanket, his eyes shut comfortably like he didn't have a worry in the world, his chubby cheeks front anand centre.

"Hi, baby," you whispered, pulling his pacifier away from where he'd spit it out, moving the phone so Tyler could see Bentley's lips sucking a couple of times, making little noises until he settled, pressing them together. You stood there for a moment, watching him sleep, your toes pressed into the warmth of Cash's fur before you bent down, petting him behind the ears and placing a kiss on his forehead and then you crept out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind you, and then looking back at Tyler on the phone.

"I meant you could show me on the baby monitor, but that was better."

"Oh," you laughed.

"Well, I didn't want to wake him up."

"Oh, he's really tired, he didn't sleep very well today, I don't think he's gonna wake up."

"Well, not until you said that."

"Yeah," you laughed.

"Is Cash sleeping with him?"

"Yeah, he wanted to," you smiled, "and Marshall just wanted to be with me, and I didn't want Gerry to go in there because he was too hyper."

Tyler giggled, "He probably just wanted your attention."

"Probably," you agreed.

"He's like his dad like that, once the baby goes to bed, he just wants all of your love."

"Yeah, well, he gets attention all day long, he demands it," you said, because he was the one dog willing to push past his brothers to get to you or Tyler while Marshall and Cash were more likely to wait their turn.

"Yeah, just like his dad," Tyler said, grinning, and you laughed a little, going back into your living room, only to find that Gerry had now taken your place on the couch next to Marshall, and both dogs were snoring, not even in unison, which meant there was about a split second of quiet. Smirking, you grabbed the baby monitor from where you left it, heading towards your bedroom, shutting the door behind you and collapsing onto the bed like you were talking to a boy when you weren't supposed to be, where you needed to lie down because you were going to be on the phone with him until you couldn't possibly stay away any longer.

You stretched across your half made bed, setting the baby monitor on your nightstand, turning back to see Tyler smirking at you. "Oh, we're getting in bed and cuddling now, are we?"

"You know you're in Dallas, right?"

"Mhm," Tyler said, picking up a pillow from his bed and hugging it to his face. "I'm gonna pretend this is you."

"Oh, thanks," you laughed, grabbing what was normally Tyler's pillow now and moving it to the middle of your bed so you could lean your phone up against it, laying on your side and propping your head up in your hand.

"Didn't you feel like the bed was really empty last night?"

"Well, I had like 300 pounds of dog in bed with me, so no," you said, "I did miss you though."

"Oh, yeah, so i can have a little sliver of bed when I get home?"

"Yep," you laughed, "Stretch our legs out while you can."

"We need a bigger bed," Tyler said, setting the phone down on his bed and then proceeding to pull his shirt over his head, and then you were 90% sure he took his pants off. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I don't know," you laughed. Maybe it was because you still weren't quite used to him just undressing in front of you. "Am I not allowed to just look at you?"

"Oh, you can look at me all you want," Tyler grinned cockily, sitting back on the bed now and placing his hand behind his head, like he was putting himself on display for you.

"Oh my god," you said, and he snickered. "Hey, you were the one who said you wanted to see me."

"I know," Tyler said, smiling back and you, and you felt everything go still and quiet, realizing that you were just busy so often that you didn't get a lot of time, just him and you, where you could actually look into his eyes, without being distracted by his presence or his touch, or his words. You looked at him, really looked at him, like you hadn't just seen him a couple of days ago, and wanted to memorize everything about him so you could see him still, even when you shut your eyes. And Tyler just seemed to get it, only smiled back softly at you, like neither of you really needed to speak, your eyes moving from the deep brown pools of his eyes, to checking for any darkness underneath them to signal he hadn't been getting enough rest, to the softness of his lips, the solidness of his shoulders, the ink blending into his skin, a part of him, and..

"Did your tattoo change?" You asked, leaning forward towards the screen, like he was right there.

Tyler frowned, laughing, "Did my tattoo change?" He repeated, like he was trying to comprehend how you could even ask such a question.

"You know what I mean," you laughed, looking at the geometric lines on his shoulder, and the script that was between the first two triangles now, trying to make out what it was. "You got something added."

"Yeah, I did," Tyler said, his voice soft. "Awhile ago."

"Well, what is it?" you asked. Even though Tyler could be an impulsive person in so many other areas of his life, when it came to tattoos, he wasn't. Other than his Stanley Cup tattoo, which was obviously something that called for being done in the moment, usually he had ideas that that he'd be talking about for awhile, so much that you could pretty much picture them before they even appeared on his skin. Other than the tattoo he'd gotten for Bentley, you'd always been expecting it when he had a new addition to his body. Tyler smiled at you, moving the camera closer so you could see, your lips moving at you made out the delicate 100% nestled between the two triangles closest to the centre of his body, feeling a dash through your own heart, thinking that that couldn't possibly ever be why, but you couldn't help but think of all those moments that he'd checked with you to make sure you both were 100% in: when you'd decided that you were going to try and have a baby together, however that was going to look like, when you'd discussed how you were going to tell your friends, and your family, when you were getting ready to push your son out of your body with him by your side, when you were so damn in love with him it hurt, and you'd promised each other that you were going to be okay, that you'd always be friends, that you'd always be there for each other.

"It's for you," Tyler said, focusing the phone back on his face. "It says 100%."

"Really?" you asked, like you still couldn't believe it.

"Yeah," Tyler nodded, sweeping his hand through his hair and then looking away, like he was collecting his thoughts. "I guess it just reminds me that you're there, and that I just...always want to give you everything and be all in with you. It's just, what we said before all our big decisions, you know."

Like he even needed to explain it to you.

"Tyler," you said.

"I know, it's kinda...,," Tyler shrugged, running his hand over the back of his neck. "I don't know, it's important to me."

"I love it," you said genuinely.

"Yeah?" Tyler asked.

"Yeah, it's perfect," you said. "When did you even get it?"

"When I got this," Tyler grinned, sweeping his hand across Bentley's name and birth date where it was inked across his torso.

"Before we were together?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, "It doesn't matter that we're together. Well, it matters, obviously, but I didn't get it because I wanted to date you. I got it because I'm just always gonna be there for you and I'm always gonna love you and care about you. No matter if we got to be together or not. It's on your necklace, too."

"What?"

"It's on your necklace," Tyler repeated, "I got it engraved. On the inside."

"No, you did not," you said, running your hand along the chain of the necklace he'd gotten you for mother's day, pulling it away from your body. And, sure enough, you felt the scroll of the matching 100% inside."What? Why are you like this?"

"Like what?" Tyler laughed.

"Just so..thoughtful and sweet. Like who things of these things?"

"Me?" Tyler guessed, and you gave him a look, because you were still just in shock about the whole thing, running your finger over Bentley's name and then what Tyler had added for just the two of you.

"I don't know, I guess you just bring it out in me," Tyler shrugged. "Don't tell anybody though."

"I'm pretty sure everyone already knows how sweet you are."

"Shh.." Tyler said, "It's our secret."

"Yeah, okay," you repliedstill stistiledplrelin a state ofdisbelief, looking at him, andthen thtattootattoatthe likr buth them mightdisappear.

"You actually didn't notice it?"

"No," you said, shaking your head and Tyler laughed.

"Do you pay no attention to my body?" Tyler asked in mock offense.

"Like, I mean...I don't know, i didn't see it."

"We've had sex, like you've seen be naked so many times," Tyler said. "Or just without a shirt."

"Well, I wasn't looking at your shoulder."

"No? What were you looking at then?" Tyler quipped, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Oh my god," you mumbled. "Your eyes. I was looking at your eyes."

"Is that what you're calling it?" he grinned.

"Tyler," you said firmly, and he giggled. "In my defense, it's small."

"It's small?" he laughed, "Why would you say that?"

"The tattoo," you said, laughing and rolling your eyes. "I meant the tattoo is small."

"Yeah, well," Tyler said, moving his hand over it again and smiling. "The size is not indicative of my love."

"I love it though, like its hidden and like even if people see it, they're not gonna know what means."

"Yeah, I didn't know where to put it, so I just decided this shoulder is gonna be for my ladies," Tyler said, looking at your face and then grinning. "Did I say something cute again?"

"Yes," you said, even though you were pretty sure you knew that he had, but he just, took your breath away again. "I love you."

"I love you," he said, and then you were both quiet for a moment. "So what should we talk about?"

You shrugged because you could just happy just sitting there and listen to him talk about nothing.

"Did you guys do anything today?" Tyler asked, and you shook your head.

"No, we just hung out, Bentley was hav8ing a rough day."

"What, how come?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know, he was fine, he just wanted to be held all day and have attention then he was happy," you said.

"So it was the perfect day?" Tyler grinned, and you gave him a sheepish look.

"I mean I didn't mind it, but couldn't l couldn't really get anything done."

"So?" Tyler asked, "You said your priority right now is to take care of him, and if he needs cuddles from his mom, than he needs cuddles from his mom. And I'm not there, so he can have all your attention."

"Yeah," you laughed, "I just need to do some laundry for him. And for me. I have, like, no clothes left."

"Well, that's fine, you don't have to wear clothes," Tyler said.

"Tyler," you laughed, realizing that you shouldn't have said that, that you'd have to get even more careful with your words now, now that it was socially acceptable to him to make comments towards you like that.

Although.

Maybe you kind of loved it.

"Okay," you said, rolling onto your back, and looking at Bentley sleeping in the baby monitor, remembering how you didn't even want to put him down in his crib, you wanted him with you all the time, especially when it was just you, but knew that he needed a couple of good hours of sleep before you went to bed and he came into your room to sleep next to you in his bassinet and you got to listen to all the little noises he makes in his sleep. "But I do really need to do some laundry to take care of him."

"And I'm sure you will tomorrow," Tyler said, "And I'll be home tomorrow night so you'll have help again."

"I know," you smiled, "We miss you."

He'd been there so much lately, that it really was a bit of a shock to do it on your own again. Not just because Tyler helped, even though he did, of course, but more just so because he was supportive of you, and you loved being able to share this with him.

"I miss you guys, too," Tyler said, "But you just hug and hold that baby as much as you want, you went through a lot to get him here, you should enjoy him."

"So did you," you said sincerely.

"Yeah, well, I'm just happy I get to be a part of it," Tyler said.

"Me too," you said, falling silent again. "What else did you do today?"

"I already told you about my day," Tyler laughed.

"Well, tell me more," you said, and Tyler sighed, like he didn't want to go through everything again, but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

"Are you gonna fall asleep like you did last time I tried to tell you about my day?"

"No," you said, and Tyler gave you a serious look. "I was pregnant then, and I had coffee way too late today, I'm not gonna be falling asleep any time soon."

"Well, I went to the Texas hockey day, hung out and did some drills with some kids, then Dad and I went golfing and then we grabbed dinner and now I'm here," Tyler said, "Actually, there was this one hole, it was like a par 5, 578 yards, so –"

"I'm gonna fall asleep," you said, and Tyler gave you a dirty look and you smiled. "What did you have for breakfast?" "What did I have for breakfast?" Tyler repeated and you nodded. "Umm..Dad and I grabbed brunch with Jamie after the hockey thing, and I had an omelette." "Did you guys do anything in the morning before you went?" "No, I just had a shower, did you want me to tell you about that, too?" Tyler asked. "Actually, I had an awesome dream about you this morning. And by dream I mean a great memory."

"About what?"

"Well, I was thinking about when we had a bath together," Tyler said, looking towards the bathroom like he was remembering it now. "And what happened after."

"What happened after?" you teased, and Tyler scowled at you.

"As if you don't remember," Tyler said, his voice sounded far away. "That was a damn good trip."

"Yeah, it was," you agreed, both you and Tyler inhaling at and exhaling at the same time.

"Not gonna lie, it made it really hard to shower this morning thinking about you bent over the counter like that."

You were pretty sure that with all the freaking changes your body and your life wawas going through, you weren't supposed to want sex as much as you did, and you almost had to hold yourself back from moaning to keep from being embarrassed.

You looked at Tyler, laughing under your breath when you saw the tops of his cheeks tinted pink.

"Why is that funny?" Tyler asked.

"It's not funny," you said, shaking your head. "You're blushing."

"Am I?" Tyler asked, "It's kinda hot in here."

"Don't you have AC?" you asked, and Tyler blinked, running his hand over his face.

"I have a lot of thoughts running through my head, leave me alone," Tyler laughed.

"Like what kind of thoughts?" you asked, trying to make your voice coy and innocent, but you were probably failing. Still, though, it was fun to see his cheeks grow even hotter.

"Babe.."

"Why won't you just tell me, don't you want me to know?" you said easily, Tyler's playful eyes matching yours.

"I think you already know," he said.

"Yeah, but I want you to say it."

"Uhhh..." Tyler got out, laughing before he even got out what he wanted to say. "Let's just say there was some touching."

And not it was your turn to turn red, picturing him in the shower, beads of water falling across his body, warmth rising to his face and to his chest, his hand gripped firmly around himself, his head tipped back, his eyes shut.

"Oh, like you've never thought of me," Tyler said, as if he thought your silence was due to shock rather than escaping into your own fantasy.

So lost, in fact that you brain could barely even register his question.

"So you have thought about me," Tyler grinned, leaning towards the phone like he wanted to hear more. "When was this?"

"Umm..." you thought. "October?"

"October?!" Tyler said, so loudly that you were briefly worried about the baby waking up until you remembered he was in his own room, Tyer grinning at you with his eyebrows raised. "That was like way, way before we got together."

"Yeah, but we had had sex then."

"Not in October we didn't, you were pregnant then," Tyler said, "and that was when you still felt sick, not when you wanted sex."

"No, I did want sex," you said, "And I was fine until you hugged me, and kissed me on the cheek and it was.." You were moving your hands about now, feeling frustrated about it even now.

"Is that why you were so uptight?"

"Yes."

"Well, you should have just said something," Tyler said, "I told you I would have given you sex."

"You weren't even here," you said.

"Yeah, but I could have.." Tyler said, "I don't know, you could have called me, I could have helped you out."

"What? Call you so we could have phone sex?"

"Yeah..."

"I wasn't going to do that," you said. It seemed silly now, though, almost immature to think you couldn't have done that because he hadn't been yours, not when he was so obviously had been, and your body had known it, but it turn your brain awhile to catch up, to let you feel it.

"Well, why not?" Tyler laughed, like he would have just asked you if he'd been in the same situation, even though you knew he'd told you that he'd purposefully tried to cut the sex out of your relationship, not wanting to be in that weird in-between place either.

Maybe your boundaries had been blurred for longer than you'd realized.

"Because you were my friend," you said.

"But it's different now," Tyler said, not like a question, like he knew what you were thinking.

"Yeah, it's different now," you said, the room feeling strangely quiet, the air thick, and you swore you could feel him breathing.

"So would you now?" he asked.

"What?" you said, not because you didn't understand or because you didn't hear him, but just everything could be so intense with Tyler that it took your brain a moment to catch up.

"Would you call me now if you wanted me and I wasn't there?" he asked, his voice deeper this time, like the arousal was taking over his body already.

You couldn't deny though that your legs were pressed together, half restless, thinking about about the feeling of him inside you.

"I want you," Tyler said, and you became more aware of your body against the mattress of your bed, your bare legs pressed together. It had gotten just warm enough that you knew you'd be living in nothing but dresses for the next few months, and you wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of Tyler's skin against yours, with nothing between you.

"I want you, too," you said, looking at him on the phone and then around the room, "I..."

"You what?" Tyler laughed, and you were aware of how little he was wearing, his body language looking relaxed like it so often did, but the tint on his skin gave him away.

"I don't know, I've never done this before," you said, laughing nervously.

"But you said you've touched yourself," Tyler said, his eyes narrowing, his voice lowering to a whisper. "I've seen inside your nightstand."

"No, no," you said, "I meant I haven't with anyone watching before."

"Oh," Tyler said. "Me neither."

"Really?" you asked.

"Nope," Tyler said, shaking his head, "Out of the two of us, I thought maybe you might have."

"No," you said, taking a breath, and you were thankful that he didn't say anything about your ex-boyfriends or his lack of girlfriends, because you didn't want to think about anyone but him right now, trying to ignore the thought in the back of your mind that you weren't going to get to have him in your bed every night."

"So..." Tyler said, shifting on the bed.

"So," you repeated, your hand resting against your thigh like you didn't know if it should venture up or not yet, rubbing back and forth slowly like you were trying to calm yourself down and then your eyes widened in horror. "Your dad's there."

"What?" Tyler barked out a surprised laugh and you shook your head.

"I don't want him to hear," you said, half-panicked.

"Oh, no, he won't," Tyler said, relaxed now, "He's downstairs on the other side of the house, it's fine."

"But isn't that weird?" you said, your hand moving back and forth.

"He's not in here," Tyler scoffed at you, shaking his head with a laugh.

"Yeah, but.."

"He was in the house earlier, like I lived in the same house with him for 18 years, it's fine," Tyler said, scowling, "You know, I'd really like to not be talking about him right now."

"Sorry.." you said, shifting on the bed again, and trying to relax. "Did you lock your door?"

"I don't -" Tyler started, and then he seemed to understand what you were saying. "He's not going to come in here."

"But could you just lock it...?"

Tyler huffed out a breath of air. "If I lock it are you going to relax?"

"Yes," you said, because then you wouldn't be thinking about just how much you would die, and Tyler shifted on the bed, getting up and giving you a nice view of his ass through his boxer briefs, you now realizing how very little he'd been wearing. You heard the lock on the door click loudly like he wanted to make sure that you heard, and then you felt your heart beat faster knowing that he was coming back, easing himself back onto the bed, and smiling at you, you smiling shyly back at him. And though you did feel like of nervous, you felt excited too.

"How do we even...?" you asked, laughing because you felt like the hard part would just be getting started, like it was when you'd first started sleeping together, when you'd made your way through all of that awkwardness together, and it felt comfortable even then because it was the two of you.

Tyler's eyes looked away like he was thinking, and then back at you, running his hand through his hair like he was a little shy. "Umm...you could tell me what you were thinking about before since i told l told you what I was thinking about?"

You couldn't help the smile from creeping onto your face when you thought about it, running your hand over your face. "I was thinking about you going down on me."

"I hadn't yet," Tyler said, grinning devilishly.

"No, you hadn't," you said, "I was just imagining it, I don't know, its just what came in my head, and your lips..."

"Well, if I had known you wanted me to go down on you, I would have much sooner, trust me," Tyler said, his tongue flicking out across his lips like he could still taste you. "It might be my favourite thing."

"Yeah?" you asked, sounded needier than you intended, but you could feel the brush of his lips against your soft skin, getting closer and closer to the destination.

"Mmmyeah," Tyler said, "Like the way you moan, and squirm...it's like, such a turn-on knowing I'm the one making you feel that way."

The way he was looking at you as if the screen wasn't there, his bedroom eyes easing into yours made your body grow even needier, your hand trailing up your thigh and up under your panties, your finger brushing between your lips, your body stuttering with breath.

"Are you touching yourself?" Tyler asked, his voice coming out rather breathy, and you weren't sure now if you had jumped ahead or water, but you nodded, and he breathed in and out, asking a little tentatively. "Can I see?"

Your lips turned up, because you weren't going to deny that it wasn't a turn-on that he still seemed so keen to want to see you naked in a sexual way, like it was the first time all over again, like he couldn't just close his eyes and picture you naked. You stood up slowly, turning your phone so he could see you because you felt like he'd appreciate seeing you undressing. And you were glad you had the wherewithal to think to pull your panties away from your body without removing your dress, letting them slide down your legs, hearing Tyler's sharp intake of breath as you reached down to pull them off, tossing them towards your hamper.

"That is not fair," Tyler said, but you grinned at him, wanting it to last just a minute longer.

"Did you want me to leave them on?" you asked.

"No," Tyler said, "Continue."

You laughed, pulling your dress up over your head, feeling thankful that you had on a bra that was at least relatively cute.

"Babe," you heard Tyler say, muffled through the fabric. "Babe, babe."

You let your dress fall because his voice sounded like he was actually trying to tell you something, giggling when you saw the phone had fallen face down onto your bed, and you righted it. "Sorry."

"You're still dressed," Tyler said, like he was disappointed, and you laughed. This time, though, you rethought the whole not being able to see him thing, sliding the straps off your shoulders, letting your dress fall at your feet, Tyler running his hand over his face. "Bra too?" He asked, and you laughed under your breath shaking your head, but you reached behind your back, undoing the clasp and letting the garment fall away from your body, leaving you bare before him.

"Fuck," Tyler breathed out, his eyes unabashedly running up and down your body, as you felt a flush take over your entire body. "I am so lucky."

"I am so lucky," you stressed, looking at the firmness of his body and his soft smile, crawling back on the bed gently this time, with one hand steadying your phone in its perch against the pillow, the other instinctively going to cradle your bare breasts you shifted down.

"Don't do that," Tyler whispered with a seeth of pain.

"Don't do what?" You asked, shifting onto your back but keeping one hand on your phone.

"Touch yourself."

You raised one brow, laughing. "Isn't that the whole point of this?"

"Well, yeah," Tyler laughed, "This is just harder than I thought it would be to not be able to touch you."

"I know, but it's good until we're together, right?" You Asked, because you were aching to be touched now, whether it was by him or yourself.

"Hell yeah," he agreed hotly, his breaths coming shortly now. "Touch your tits for me, baby?"

You laughed under your breath at his enthusiasm, running your hands over the side of your breasts. And even though that wasn't an area of your body that wawas doing it a ton for you right now, you were really enjoying the way Tyler's deep eyes were watching you intently, your legs pressed together, your one hand trailing down, because you couldn't wait any longer, and you didn't know how he was just propped up, relaxed against his pillows. Then again,he had gotten off this morning. And Maybe the before. Yeah, you couldn't wait. "...can I?"

"Yeah," Tyler said,laughing a little. "You don't have to ask."

"Well, I don't.." you said, your fingers moving between your legs again, because you didn't really know what he wanted. You'd never really ever talked about your turn-ons, or–

"I just want to watch you make yourself feel good," he said, your fingers brushing against your clit for just second and then trailing down to collect some of you wetness rubbing slow circles on your clit, a small noise escaping your mouth as your body relaxed under your touch, and you could see Tyler swallow heavily.

"Are you wet?" He asked, and you nodded, your fingers running over yourself. "God, I wish I was there to feel. Or taste."

"Me too," you said, continuing to rub slow circles on your clit, not racing for the finish line yet, just wanting to draw out the pressure on your sensitive nerves, looking at Tyler's face and wishing you could just grab it and pull it to yours, a mix of lips and teeth and tongue. "I miss your lips."

"I miss your lips," he echoed, his lips plump, running his hand through his hair like you imagined he wanted to do with yours, how he'd grasp it to hold you to him. "You know when you had that dream when I was home in November? And you were moaning in our sleep?"

"Mhmm.."

"Were you thinking about me eating you out?" Tyler asked,his voice breathy. It took you awhile to think back, your eyes looking upwards as you struggled to remember because that whole night had just been a lot.

"No," you said, your cheeks heating up even more, and Tyler grinned cheekily, inching closer to the phone.

"What were you thinking about then?"

"Umm..." you said, swallowing, trying to put words together as you circled your clit, feeling Tyler all around you still. "We were at your house."

"Yeah," Tyler said, breathlessly, like he was touching himself, even though you could still clearly see both of his hands.

"Outside," you clarified, "I was...I was fucking you. We were by the fire, and.."

"I had your dress pushed up?"

"Yeah," you said.

"We...uh... definitely need to recreate that," he said, and you thought it was funny, how his voice was so quiet but you could still here him, even over the sound of your blood flowing through your ears. Your eyes must have fluttered shut at some point because when you opened them, you could see the muscles in his arms tensing, his eyes struggling to stay open.

"Are you hard?"

"Like since I saw you," he said with a self-deprecating laugh, your eyes still watching his arm, imagining what was going on below the screen. You'd barely gotten out the words "Can I.." before Tyler whispered a "yeah," and then you almost could have laughed as he tried to shimmy his boxers off with his legs, had it not been for his cock, laying thing and hard against his abdomen, his legs parted. He took his thumb, rubbing the peal of precum across the head of his cock, grasping himself in his fist, giving himself several slow, deep pumps, his cock bobbing with the movement.

"Tyler," you said with need.

"Yeah, babe?"

"I want you inside me," you said.

"Fuck, baby, I want to be inside you," Tyler said, "So hard and deep."

You couldn't even do anything but moan, and you realized you weren't really given him much, but you couldn't help it, not realizing how much your body had missed his until now.

"Use your fingers," he said, like he could see what your body was searching even from there, and you tilted your palm, slipping two fingers inside, curving upwards, your back arching off the bed even at that your fingers clenching hard around yourself.

"Fuck," you heard Tyler mumble, and you looked to see he'd moved the phone beside him so you could see his total form, stroking his cock steadily now, and you grabbed yours, propping it up against the collection of blankets at your side, keeping your fingers steady inside yourself, stroking your g-spot until your phone was steady, running your hand over your breasts and then back between your legs, your fingers pressing hard against your clit now. And you were kind of glad when Tyler grew quiet like you were, because you still didn't have words, just watching each other. You were fucking your fingers hard into yourself, hips meeting your fingers, but it wasn't as deep or full enough as it was with him. and you looked at Tyler, already seeing his shoulders moving, breathing like he was close already, looking blissfully and drowsily towards your vision on the screen. And you watched him, waiting until his eyes seemed to blink shut, inching a little towards your nightstand.

"Alright?" Tyler asked, still stroking himself, like he seemed to noticed that you had slowed down, your eyes darting off and then back.

"I just..." you said, "I was just gonna get..."

Tyler's eyes widened like he seemed to understand, and he couldn't believe his luck. "Well, go for it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, waiting until you leaned up and over, searching for what you were looking for, pulling it into your hand and then laying back down on your bed, rubbing it between your pussy lips until it was slick. "Can I watch it go in?"

You didn't even have words at his reaction, grabbing your phone and moving it so he could see the view, which seemed downright obscene, but the way he was breathing heavily, almost with whimpers coming out of his mouth seemed worth it, slowly sliding it deep inside you, feeling the stretch and fullness, your walls fluttering contently. Tyler's mouth was half open when he looked back up at your eyes and nodded a little, like he was telling you could move your phone back now, so you did.

"Feel good?" he asked.

"Yeah," you let out, pressing it in, angling it against your g-spot, a cold heat coming over your breasts, looking at him with a bit of question.

"Yeah," Tyler said, "So fucking hot."

All you could hear was his breathing and yours, getting lost in your fantasy, because just knowing he was watching you was hot enough, driving the vibe into your g-spot, your fingers rubbing hard against your clit. It wasn't until Tyler let out a heady groan that your eyes open again, his head thrown back as you caught the end of his orgasm, his hand slowing down, and yet he locked eyes with you, his hand still moving slowly against his softening cock, like he couldn't watch you and not touch himself.

"C'mon, baby," Tyler said, "fuck yourself for me."

You let your eyes squeeze shut again, your hands moving double time, Tyler's words of how much he couldn't wait to fuck you, at how gorgeous you look flow through your ears and straight through your body and deep into your core.

"Don't hold back," Tyler said, when your legs started to shake, and even you were surprised at the moan that came out of your mouth as you released, Tyler's moan in reaction drawing it out even further and encouraging your to fuck yourself through it, twitching once more before your released, your muscles dropping back on the bed and you struggled for breath, not even caring about how wrecked you look, enjoying the afterglow and trying to collect yourself so you could look or talk to Tyler.

When you finally did, he looked like you imagined you did, hair curling in front of his face, like he didn't even have the energy to pull it away, giving you a sleepy smile. For some reason you starting giggling with the little breath you still had, completely drunk with happiness.

"So that was awesome," Tyler said.

"Yeah," you echoed, rolling onto your side and wishing nothing more than him being there, half draped over you like he would post-orgasm.

"We should... definitely do that more often."

"Or you could just come home tomorrow," you said.

"Or I could just come home tomorrow," he agreed.


	61. Chapter 61

"You want to go see Grandma, Bentley?" You asked, while he continued to cry in response in the backseat. "And Auntie Nicole?"

You almost hadn't wanted to put him in the car, because he'd been in such an adorable mood this morning and you didn't want to ruin that, but it was also Father's Day, and you'd made it a priority in your adult life to spend that day with your mom, and she had plans to go out to some type of painting class that evening. Not to mention, you'd stayed in with Bentley all day yesterday, and you sort of felt like you needed to get back into the routine of taking Bentley out by yourself, if only to remind yourself that you still had it under control.

Luckily, though, he didn't cry for the entire car ride like he used to, but still there was a headache starting at the back of your neck from the anxiety caused by listening to him being so upset at being confined in his car seat, while also trying to focus on the road.

"Today's Father's Day," you said to him, "So that's a day where we celebrate the men in our lives who help take care of us, and teach us things to help us grow up."

Bentley continued to cry in the back, but he was pausing now to take breaths of air, which was usually a good thing.

"So we say 'thank you' and 'I love you'," you continued, "And Mommy will help you this year, but when you're older, we can go to the store and you can pick out a present and a card. Or you could make him a card, I bet he would love that, and we could make him breakfast in bed."

You looked behind you as you came to a red light with no one around, noticing in the mirror that Bentley was now trying to put his hand into his mouth, stretching back with one hand so you could move his pacifier more towards his mouth.

"Really, though, all he's gonna want to do is spend time with you just like Mommy wanted to for Mother's Day," you continued, listening to Bentley as he started to calm down, "Did you know that you're a pretty lucky guy, having all these people who love you? And you have a pretty cool story, how you got to be here. Mommy really, really wanted to be your mommy, did you know that? And she tried really hard to have you, but she needed some help. and your –"

You took a deep breath, smiling to yourself. "Your Uncle Ty-Ty helped Mommy, and that's why you've got his cheeks, and his lips, and you're getting his hair, too, huh? But why we're really lucky is that he loves you so much, and he makes sure that you're okay, and I know that he can't wait to keep teaching you things as you get older. You're going to get to do so many fun things together so we can figure out what you like to you," you said, smiling as Bentley made his little noises, like he was talking back to you, telling you he wanted to be picked up, "You're already getting so big, huh? Did you know that we already loved you so much before you were even born? Yeah, Uncle Ty-Ty was there when I got to see you for the first time, and you were just this little blob, and now you can do so many things. And even before that, he helped me to make sure that we could give you a brother or a sister one day, too. Human ones. And if you grow up to learn to love people like he does, Mommy's going to be really, really happy and proud of you. And we kind of fell in love with each other just about the same time we were falling in love with you."

Bentley was still making his little sad whimpering noises, and you laughed because it was like he was trying not to let himself cry, like he was trying to be brave.

"I know you want to see him on Father's Day, I do, too, he's going to come home to see you later. But he's spending time with his daddy today....your grandpa, and they went golfing. And I bet they would love for you to come with them when you're big enough if you want to," you said, glancing in the mirror again. "Yeah, we should probably make something special for your grandpa, too, he's so excited to meet you."

You laughed as you pulled into your mom's driveway and the front door opened immediately, like she'd just been waiting for you to pull up. Which she probably had. You were impressed though that she managed to contain her excitement and opened your door further so as you got out, hugging you before she even asked about the baby, although you could see her peaking in the window of the backseat.

"Happy Father's Day," you said into her shoulder.

"Thank you," she said, pulling away as you moved to shut your door.

"You can get him out," you laughed, and she didn't skip a beat, opening up the door and cooing at Bentley, rubbing her hand along his belly and chest.

"Do you want him out of the carseat?"

"Yeah, he wants out, he's been telling be the whole time," you said, watching as your mom quickly unbuckled him when he started whining, pulling him into her arms. "Is that better?" you asked him, reaching past them to grab his bag so you could go inside.

"I missed you," she said, leaning in to kiss Bentley's cheek as you walked towards the door, Bentley looking for you as you did.

"Say 'I missed you too, Grandma," you said, watching as your Mom picked at Bentley's onesie as you stepped inside.

"He's got dog hair all over him," she explained, laughing.

"Yeah, I know," you said, "I can't keep up with the vacuuming, I don't know what I'm going to do when he starts crawling and putting everything in his mouth, because they just want to be around him all the time.Like I go into his room to change him and I've got all three of them trailing after me. "

"Awe, they love you," your mom said, bouncing Bentley as you moved into the living room.

"Yeah, they do. They're shedding a lot, though, I think they need a bath and a brush." you said, smiling big at Bentley, and noticing that your mom had already set out lemonade and cookies on the coffee table, like she didn't want to waste anytime with her grandson. "What do you think, Bentley Bear? Should we tell their dad he needs to give them a bath when he gets home?"

"Is Tyler still gone? Or was he just busy?"

"He's still in Dallas, he'll be home tonight," you said, trying to control the smile spreading across your face as you thought about getting to see him.

"You could have brought the dogs with you," she offered.

"I think they need a nap, having a baby is wearing them out," you said. With Bentley, now, you felt like you weren't able to devote as much time to them as you usually did although they didn't seem to mind, other that Gerry constantly wanting your attention, and Marshall not wasting a second to curl up with you on the couch after Bentley went to bed.

Your Mom smiled at you and you felt guilty for a moment, because you had this instant little ideal family of your own, and it made your heart hurt a little. It seemed unfair, in a way, to have this fall into your lap so easily, when she had worked at it for years. But she didn't show it, and you suspected that she probably felt the same way you did, that she just wanted to make sure her kids had a better life than she did.

"Well, Tyler's gonna be home so I could bring them next weekend when we come visit you, it's easier with his car," you said. "Or you could come out our way."

"I just meant if you didn't want to leave them alone," she said, smiling, and you realized she wasn't bothered in the least, that she just wanted to make things easier on you.

"Oh no, they're fine. I hope," you said, "Tyler and I'll probably take them out for a walk tonight, I don't have enough hands."

"Oh, are you gonna take the puppies for a walk?" your mom asked Bentley, and he looked at her for a moment before he smiled.

"He loves going on family walks, we were going every night when Tyler was here, " you said, looking at the cookies on the table, because you were always so hungry when you constantly had a baby who wanted to eat, wondering when your sister was going to get here, and then you felt your body flush, when you realized you'd said 'family', pursing your lips together. "Nicole's not here yet?" you asked, sitting down on the couch as your mom carried Bentley over to the little basket of toys she had set out for him, pulling out a rattle.

"No," your mom said, laughing a little, and you realized the answer was rather obvious but thankfully she didn't point it out. You meant to wait until your sister was here, but you couldn't really hold it in any longer, not with Bentley looking back and you, and you felt so damn happy you couldn't not want to tell your mom.

You'd already waited long enough, really, and you probably would have called her to tell her sooner, except you literally could not focus on anything but Tyler when he was at home with you.

"So...." you said, and your mom looked over at you now, like she knew you were about to say something important, running your hands along your thighs, feeling that nervous thrill you got even more so than when you had first told her you'd had a boyfriend.

Like this could be the guy that you married.

"Tyler and I are seeing each other," you said, watching for her reaction.

But she just smiled at you, and said, "Yeah, I know," sitting down on the other end of the couch and shaking the rattle she'd grabbed for Bentley, her eyes flicking up to look at you again, continuing to smile, albeit calmly

"Wait, you knew?"

"Yeah," she answered, watching Bentley's reaction to the new toy in front of him and you leaned over, smiling at him as he gurgled, his eyes trying to take this cool new thing in. "I mean, I had a feeling for awhile, but the way you guys were on Mother's Day...it was pretty obvious."

"But we weren't even.." you said, sputtering. "No, like, we just got together."

"Really?" she asked, her hand wrapped around Bentley's side to hold him steady.

"Yeah."

"Oh, I just thought maybe you were still trying to figure things out, with this guy, and it being complicated."

Which it was, but it wasn't.

"No, it's just been a couple weeks. Officially," you added, because you weren't quite sure to explain to your mother that you'd already occasionally kissed in public, that'd you'd regularly told each other you loved each other, been bare and open before each other, talking on the phone at night until you couldn't possibly form words any longer, that you'd only had eyes for each other for months. "A couple days after Bentley was sick."

"He stayed with you guys before you were together?" You mom asked, like it was the sweetest thing ever.

"Yeah," you nodded, smiling at the memory of at how you'd felt safe and grounded laying in bed next to you with a crying baby on your chest, even though you were so tense and on edge. And you had to imagine it was stressful for him, too, but you were kind of proud of how you'd gotten through it as a team.

"Well, that's really great, sweetheart," your mom said now, genuinely, which was exactly the reaction that you'd been wanting all along. "You guys are really good together."

"Well, I think so," you said.

"Yeah, you are," she reaffirmed, "And you were really good friends for a lot time too, that's special."

"It is," you agreed, laughing at Bentley who was doing that deep breathing he did when he got excited, his fists flailing outwards.

"Is he still sleeping a lot during the day?"

"Not as much anymore, he's got like nap times now," you said, smiling when you heard the front door open, your sister yelling "hello" and Bentley twitched, his eyes going wide. "That's your auntie," you said, running your finger under his chin. "You gotta get used to those big entrances."

You heard your mom laugh under her breath, your sister kicking off her shoes as she came up.

"Hi," you said, standing up to give her a hug.

"Hi," she said brightly, hugging you and then leaning over to do the same to your mom. "Hey, mom," she said, hugging her and then leaning over to kiss Bentley's cheek. "Hi, cute guy."

"How are you?" you asked.

"Good," she asked, bending down unceremoniously to grab a cookie, popping half of it into her mouth, and then frowning at you. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Like what?" you laughed.

"Like," she started, clearly thinking, pointing the half eaten cookie in your direction. "Like that's the exact same face you made when you got into school."

You laughed in surprise. "I mean, it's not quite the same thing, but I do have something to tell you."

"Good news," your mom added.

"Yeah," you laughed, your hand resting on your hair, and your sister raised her eyebrows expectantly, like it was taking too long for you to say it. "Tyler and I are together."

"So he finally grew some balls and told you?" She asked, the grin on her face saying it all.

"Well," you said, "I mean, yes, but it wasn't just about him. I could have said something, too."

"Yeah, but you were pregnant," she said, "And then you had a baby. Honestly, I'm just impressed he actually figured it out himself."

"Oh, he knew before me," you said, reaching over to grab a cookie yourself now that your sister had started eating.

"Really?" she asked, "I thought you were the more intelligent of the two of you."

"Nicole!" you scolded, "Tyler's smart."

"Yeah, no I know," she said, "I meant, he's just kind of more like a....a big puppy dog. I thought he just might need someone to help him see the great thing that was right in front of him the whole time."

"No," you said, "No, he definitely clued in way before I did. I don't even know...it must have been the hormones or something, I don't know what I was thinking."

"You were thinking about this guy," your mom said, bouncing Bentley and leaning down to kiss the back of his head.

"Yeah," you said, tilting your head at him. "Are you still okay with him, or do you want me to take him so you can have something to eat?"

"I will hold him for as long as he'll let me," she said, hugging him against her. "Do you want him back? Do you miss him?"

"No, he's so happy hanging out with Grandma," you said, moving over a little bit to give your sister room to sit down too.

"You're so smiley," Nicole said, grinning at Bentley and he smiled and cooed back.

"He's being so cute today, I could barely even get ready today, he was just talking and smiling," you said, "I should show you guys the video I took this morning .." You patted your pockets, and then realized you'd tucked your phone into the pocket of the diaper bag before you'd put Bentley in the car, and you stood up, going to grab it. You fished it out, noticing that Tyler had responded to the same video you'd sent him earlier, but putting off looking at it until after you'd showed your family the video, knowing that he'd probably be getting on the plane soon, and you'd have to go without being able to communicate with him for several hours.

"Is that you?" Nicole asked Bentley, running her hand across his fingers, and you smiled when he grabbed onto her finger, sitting down now and going to read the entirety of the message, laughing when you saw that he'd sent you a few hearts and kissy faces, and then he'd sent you a picture of his bag, which seemed to be filled with those sour patch candies that loved, along with the message "Coming home to you ❤, got these through security 😁"

"I wonder who's texting you?" Your sister teased, a giant grin on her face.

"I mean, yeah," you laughed, your hand running through your hair like he was there and you were trying to flirt with him, and you were feeling shy and excited all at once.

"Is he on his way home?" your mom asked.

"Yeah," you said, leaning forward a little so your sister could see what was on your phone.

"What is that?" she laughed.

"They're these lemonade candies he got for me when I was pregnant that I'm obsessed with," you said, "and they only have them in the states."

"Awe, he's bringing them back for you?" She asked.

"Yeah, he mailed me so many but I've got none left," you said, because you'd finally let yourself finish the last of them late last night when you were feeding Bentley, knowing that he'd be bringing you some more home for tonight.

"That is so sweet," your sister said, and you looked at her like she had two heads.

"Really? Out of all the things he's done for me, that's what you think is sweet?"

"Yeah, he remembered what kind of candy you like, and he's thinking about you when he's gone," she said.

"No, I know," you said, looking at the picture again, "He's super cute."

You all looked at Bentley as he started making noises.

"What?" your mom asked, bouncing him in her lap. "Are you getting bored?"

"No, he's just talking," you said, "You just want attention, huh?"

"I wonder where he gets that from," Nicole said dryly, "That's not something from Mommy, is it?"

"No, it's probably from you," you said.

"I meant Tyler," she said.

"Yeah, I know," you said, "you guys are similar like that."

"Little bit," you said, waiting for her reaction and then laughing.

"He's saying he wants to come see Auntie," she said, your mom transferring Bentley over to her, and Nicole stood up, bouncing Bentley as she walked.

"Here, I have a blanket you can put down for him," your mom said, grabbing it and laying it out on the floor, and then she pulled the basket of toys over as Nicole went to lay Bentley down, setting them on the corner of the blanket.

"How many toys did you get for him?" you laughed.

"I just wanted to make sure he had things to play with while he was here," she said, clearly avoiding the question.

"You're so spoiled, Bentley," you said softly, seeing him smile just in response to the sound of your voice.

"That's the best part about being a grandma," she said, "And I can't give him sugar yet, so he just gets toys."

"You're a lucky boy," you said to Bentley, "you play lots so you can have a nap when we go to get groceries."

"Is Tyler gonna be home for dinner?" your mom asked, and you shook your head.

"Dessert," you said, seeing your sister give you a sly grin out of the corner of your eye as she leaned half over Bentley, showing him some toys. "I was thinking about doing some baking," you clarified. "If everything goes according to plan."

You'd hadn't even really discusses your plans with Tyler, though, like you hadn't planned any of his but, someone, you'd just knew he'd be staying the night again, that you'd walk the dogs and put Bentley to bed together, and then curl up on the couch and watch T.V., the dogs snoring in the background or laid out across your laps.

"Oh, that's fun," your mom said, "I'm sure Tyler will like that."

"Yeah, I haven't gotten to do any baking since he was born," you said, smiling down at your baby and your sister, pulling your feet up onto the couch so you were half laying down, getting more comfortable. "Are you going to see Dad today, Nic?"

"Yeah, we're gonna get dinner or something," she said, and you felt yourself putting on a fake smile, glancing at your mom out of the corner of your eye to see her reaction, but she seemed to remain completely undeterred by the conversation. And you didn't want to discourage her from trying, but you also felt like you noticed the pattern, the downfall that would come after, when he didn't even reach out to wish her a happy birthday, when got into an argument about what she was doing with her life. Already, you felt like you were bracing yourself for the angry call or text that would come tonight. "Are you doing anything?"

"No," you said simply, your heart sinking at that slightly hurt look on her face because you knew she just wanted to be together as a family. But even if you went, you knew it wouldn't change anything. And you just wanted to give your energy and your love to the people who would give it back. And maybe you'd always been like that, a little more guarded, needing a little more to let people in, calculating how much it might hurt, if it was worth the risk of jumping. "You can say 'hi' to him for me," you offered.

"Sure," she said, smiling now, hopefully, and you wished you could just explain it all to her, but you knew you couldn't, that she'd have to figure it himself. But you'd felt even more solidified in your decision now, especially now that you were a parent, because loving him was the easiest thing. And you could see your mom, when she had reservations about you having a baby on her own, that she'd done it from a place of wanting to protect you, that she'd never let it build a wall between her and you, or cut you out. Which was exactly the type of parent you wanted to me. "I'm sure he'll get that you want to spend some time with Tyler today anyways."

You weren't entirely sure he would, but you smiled anyways.

"And you need to make sure you're doing what best for Bentley," your mom added, "And you."

"I know, I am," you said simply.

"So Tyler's doing the dad thing?" Nicole asked, looking up at you from where she was now stretched out next to Bentley, her head propped up in her hand.

"I mean, he's not not doing the dad thing."

You watched your sister do a double take, like she was trying to comprehend your words, repeating them in her head. "What does that even mean?"

"It's just.." you said, running your hand over your face. "Like he doesn't want to be called 'Dad'. Right now, anyways."

"Like...ever?" your sister spoke, breaking the hush that you hadn't realized had fallen over the room.

"No, no, not never," you said, taking a deep breath. "He just said he doesn't really feel like his dad yet. But that he wants to, like he's working towards it."

"But you want him to be, right?" she asked.

"Well, yeah, of course I do, I, I just -" you broke off, smiling when your sister picked Bentley back up, moving towards you.

"You want to go see Mommy?" she asked, even though he clearly wasn't crying or upset. You stood up, pulling him to you, pressing your lips to his head and inhaling his scent, rubbing your hand up and down his back, his weight and warmth steady in your arms.

"You want to show me your toys?" you asked him, sitting back down with him in your lap, picking up a soft little book, and crinkling it for him, thinking back. "Yeah, so, like when we were out for Mother's Day, I called him "Dad" by accident and he seemed like really annoyed by it? Which, I mean, was fine. Well, it wasn't fine, but it was what we had talked about. Which I think he just really wanted to be with me first, like he really just wanted to do this the right way which is good."

"Well, are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's his choice," you said, shifting with Bentley in your lap. "I didn't really think I would be in a relationship for a long, long time. And if it was any other guy, then I would do things differently, right? Like I wouldn't just have him in Bentley's life right away or expect him to take on parenting responsibilities or anything like that. But with him, like he's obviously his father, but -"

You smiled as Bentley squirmed in your arms, lifting him up and moving him onto his belly, your hand going to fix his onesie where it had bunched up, laying your face down so it was next to his, grinning as he grunted with the effort of lifting his head up. "Good job, baby," you encouraged, Bentley looking slightly surprised at your mom and your sister reacting in the same way, but the he cracked a smile, and you smiled back, sliding some toys in front of for him to look at.

"But," your sister prompted.

"But," you continued, "he has been there. Like you guys have seen it, if Bentley is upset he'll just start talking to him or rocking him, he doesn't wait for me to go to him. Once he realized he wasn't going to break him. And that was before we were together, now he's even more involved. Like he gets up with him every night, and he'll change him and then bring him to be so I can feed him. And he told me he wants to do more and work towards being his dad, but he's already doing it. And it just doesn't seem fair to him for him to being doing all of that but not get to be called his Daddy, you know?"

"Well, it's just a word, sweetheart" your Mom said, "You know that, it's not about the name."

"No, I know," you said, running your hand over Bentley's back. "and I know he loves him and he loves me, which is the most important, but I just don't want him to be, I don't know, punishing himself for not being there at the beginning, or thinking he's not good enough or ready, when he is, and he's already doing it."

"Well, he said he wants to be his dad one day, right? Like he sees that happening?"

"Yeah, he talks about us being a family all the time, and doing stuff as a family," you answered. You didn't even say that you'd even gone so far as to talk about having more kids, because that seemed soon, but the fact that he brought it up really solidified in your mind that this was what he wanted, that he wasn't just doing this because he felt like he had to to be in love with you.

"Well, it's a big adjustment to becoming a parent," your mom said, "And you had nine months to get ready, even longer. He might just need some time. I'm sure he'll get there."

"Me too," you said, "I'm still doing something for him for Father's Day though."

"You'll think he'll be okay with that?" You mom asked.

"Well, he's gonna have to be," you laughed, and then tucked your hair back, "but, yeah, we've talked about this alot, like I feel like we understand each other. And it's really just like special keepsake stuff from Bentley anyways, I was going to give him something even before we were a thing."

"Oh, what did you get for your Daddy?" Nicole asked Bentley, leaning down to put her ear by his face. "Are you gonna share your secret with Auntie?"

"Okay, but you can't call him that, Nicole," you said.

"But he's not even here -"

"I know, but I still want to respect what he wants," you said, your sister looking like she was going to say something in rebuttal. "Look, I don't think any of us had this planned and it's not. I mean, it's not like he just fell in love with me because I had his kid. It's just....kinda a bonus that we have Bentley. And if we're going to do this together, then we need to make sure that our relationship is strong too, that's...it's important to both of us."

"He's still so young, too," your Mom added, "All he really needs is love right now."

"Yeah," you agreed, laughed as Bentley shifted onto floor, "What are you doing?" you laughed, your hand going behind his head as he got himself shifted enough so he tipped over onto his back. He blinked, slightly shocked at what he had just done, and you laughed, running your hand over his body. "What? Do you think you're a big boy now?"

"You're so smart," Nicole said, kissing on his belly until he smiled and kicked his legs. "Yeah, you know he's your Daddy even if he doesn't know it himself, huh? You just can't say it yet, but you will."

You ended up feeding Bentley before you left your Mom's house, meaning that he was getting sleepy by the time you put him in the car, the dogs greeting you at the door. "Hi, hi, hi," you greeted them, "We're gonna go out again, but we'll take you out tonight, promise." You put Bentley in his carrier as you let them out, relishing in having Bentley nap on you as you walked around the couple blocks to the Farmer's Market, grabbing the ingredients you needed and dinner for yourself. You were humming along to the music playing in the background when the dogs lift their head from where they were laid out on the kitchen floor, hoping that you would drop food, right before you heard the hum of Tyler's car in the driveway. "Is Daddy home?" you asked them, all three of them trotting to the front door before you even heard the key in the lock.

"Hi, hi, hi," you heard Tyler greet them, smiling as you wiped your hands off, looking at Bentley in his bouncer on the kitchen table and moving closer to the front door but not wanting to leave him in case he got upset. You smiled when you saw Tyler, and then you didn't even know how, but then you were together, one of Tyler's feet stepping on your toes but you didn't care, his lips pressed softly against yours ones and then he pulled away for a moment, kissing you longer this time, and your hand drifting up to his atm, the dogs excitedly circling both of you.

"Mmm...best thing ever to come home to," he mumbled, inhaling the smell of your baking, his hand petting Gerry absentmindedly, looking at you shyly as he pulled his arm out from behind his back, which you hadn't even realized had been there the whole time, pulling out a bouquet of tulips from behind his back. "I got these for you."

"What? Why?" You laughed in surprise, taking them from him.

"I just thought it was cute, I wanted to get you flowers," he shrugged. "No ulterior motives."

"No ulterior motives?" you laughed.

"I mean, I didn't like do or say something stupid, I'm not trying to butter you up," he said, grinning sheepishly as he ran his hand through his hair. "Maybe a little bit I wanted to impress you."

"You do," you smiled, inhaling them, "They're beautiful, though, thank you."

He smiled at you, turning towards the kitchen table as Gerry jumped excitedly, bounding off him, and Tyler giggled, moving closer to Bentley. "Hey, bud, what's up?" Tyler asked, smoothing the back on his hand over Bentley's. "Are you watching Mama? Is she doing a good job?"

Bentley looked at Tyler for a moment like he was trying to figure out where he came from, and then he smiled.

"Yeah, she is?" Tyler asked, and you smiled, Bentley moving his arms around now and babbling a little. "Were you helping her? Giving her some tips?"

"Yeah, he learned all about how to make strawberry rhubarb pie," you said.

"Is that what you made? It smells awesome," Tyler said, while you filled a vase with water, going to unwrap the flowers.

"Yeah, we made it for you," you said. "And I got you some vanilla ice cream."

"You made a whole pie just for me?" Tyler asked, and you nodded, putting the flowers into the vase. "I'll share it with you," he promised, blowing you a kiss, and you realized that Bentley now had his arm resting over Tyler's hand, which essentially took up Bentley's entire torso, and you realized he didn't want to move it.

"I'm not sharing with you though," Tyler said, moving his hand back and forth across Bentley's belly, teasing him until he smiled.

"He's in such a good mood today," you said, "He slept for like four and a half hours straight last night, which is like the longest he's ever slept."

"Did you?" Tyler asked him, "I'm so proud of you."

"I thought he was going to get up earlier, he started like an hour after we went to bed, but I just picked him up for a second and then he went back to sleep and slept right through, so I think he just had a bad dream or something."

"A bad dream?" Tyler asked. "What is he going to have a bad dream about? That he can't find boobs?"

"I don't know, maybe," you laughed, Tyler moving to grab one of the chips which you had laid out with guacamole which you'd been snacking on while you were baking. "But we went to Grandma's and the farmer's market, and I made a pie and zucchini bread, and he's been so good just to hang out."

Tyler smiled, still continuing to snack, pointing to the cutting board. "What happened there?"

"It's stained, I have to wash it," you said, moving the red stained cutting board into the sink while Tyler laughed, lifting your hand up and looking towards the juices from the fruit staining the tips of your fingers. "Stop," you laughed, pulling them back, "I'm messy when I bake, okay?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's gonna be worth it," Tyler said, "Even if your hands are red for the next week."

"Oh, it better be," you said, sliding the vase of flowers onto the kitchen table, noticing Bentley watching you. You took one out, holding it under Bentley's nose. "Does that smell nice?" you asked him, Gerry's head popping up next to yours, his front paws on the kitchen table, and Tyler started laughing.

"Me too, Mom, me too," he said in a high-pitched voice, and you moved the flower towards him, which he snapped at in the air, and then ran off, you assumed to find a toy.

"What are these?" Tyler asked, pointing towards the gifts on the , like it wasn't obvious that they were for him.

"They're presents for you," you said.

"Yeah, but for what?"

"For Father's Day," you said, turning the blue striped bag towards him.

"But..." Tyler said, looking at you, like he was trying to think of how exactly to say this. "I wasn't... you didn't have to get me anything for that yet. This year."

"I know," you said, "But I wanted to."

He was still looking at you, and you knew he wanted to say that he still didn't feel ready, but it didn't matter to you; he didn't need the title to get the recognition.

"We just wanted to show you that we love and appreciate you, and today's just the day we're going to do it," you said, letting him know that you weren't going to take no for an answer. "And technically it's Father's Day, not Dad's Day, and you are his father."

"That's true," Tyler said, stepping closer. "Which one should I open first?"

You laughed, because now he suddenly seemed keen to open them. "Umm...that one," you said, pointing at the bag. "That one's just from Bentley."

"What? Who is that from then?" he laughed, pointing at the larger wrapped one, while he pulled the bag towards him.

"Bentley, Marshall, Cash, and Gerry."

"Ooooh," Tyler said, looking from Bentley to the dogs who were crowded around his feet. "It's from all my boys."

You smiled at his cute voice, pushing Bentley back in his bouncer so he had a better view. "You didn't get me anything?"

"I made you the pie," you said, rolling your eyes, while Tyler laughed.

"Yeah, the dogs didn't help?" Tyler asked.

"They made sure the floor stayed clean," you said, and Tyler grinned, Marshall curling up now on the mat you had by the kitchen sink, Tyler pulling out the tissue paper. "Now these are just a few little things to say 'thank you'.

"Woman, would you just let me open the present?" Tyler laughed, and you sat down, realizing you were more keen for him to see the present than you'd realized, having had been something that had been hard to as a surprise from him. "I'm sure I'm going to love it."

You smiled, looking at Bentley, "Are you watching him? He's gonna open your card."

"Yay, DNA," Tyler read, laughing, "Thanks for doing your part to make my existence possible, and for everything you've done since, happy father's day!" Tyler smiled at you, then looked back down at the card "Love your future golf buddy, Bentley," he said, raising his eyebrows. "Is that a clue?"

"Maybe," you smiled, watching Tyler pull out the little drawstring pouch the gift had come nestled inside, giving you a curious look, and you could only imagine he was thinking that you bought him jewelry. He kept his eyes on you, pulling out the silver spheres, turning them over in his hand, running his thumb over the engraving.

"Nice shot, Uncle Ty-Ty," he read in a soft voice, smiling up with Bentley, and then his eyes twinkling towards you.

"I don't know if you have any, but they're those things for marking your golf ball when you're taking turns putting?"

"Golf ball markers?" Tyler laughed. "Yeah, I know what they are."

"Do you use them?"

"Yeah, I have some, not as cool as these though," Tyler said, turning them over in his hand once more. "Thanks, babe, these are awesome."

"Yeah? You like them?"

"I love them, everyone's going to be so jealous, and I'm gonna think about you when I'm golfing," Tyler said, looking at Bentley. "Sorry, bud, I should say thank you, huh?"

Bentley smiled, and you ran your hand over his head.

"When'd you get these done?" Tyler asked, still looking at them in his hand.

"Umm..I ordered them like...the end of May?"

"Before we were together?" he asked, looking up at you.

"Mhmm.." you smiled, Tyler still looking at you. "It didn't matter whether we were still together, you've still done a lot, and I - we- wanted to thank you."

"I think the naming him after me was enough though," Tyler grinned, "But I love these, I've definitely got to put these in my bag."

You watched as Tyler put them back in the pouch for safe keeping, looking at Bentley. "How old do you think he has to be to hold a golf club?"

You laughed. "Umm...I mean, probably he needs to walk first," you said, "And I'd be a bit worried about him using it as weapon."

Tyler laughed, running his finger under Bentley's chin. "Okay, maybe we get him like a soft one so he can practice his swing at least."

"You're really into him being a golfer," you said.

"Yeah, I think it would be cute if he was my little golfing buddy," Tyler said, and you couldn't argue with him there. "Can I open the big one now?"

"Yes," you laughed, keeping your eyes focused on him, because this was the one you were really kind of excited about, because you'd spent kind of awhile working on it, from sanding the distressed wood sign, to painting out the letters and doing the feet and hand prints. You watch Tyler grin up at you when he peeled the paper off enough to see the tops of the prints, the word "Love" spelled out, with Bentley's hand print for the "O" and his two little feet forming the "V", Tyler reading the word out loud softly, looking up at you. "I wanted something with his footprints since you made those flower pots for our moms."

"I thought you did," you said, as he unwrapped it a bit more.

"Oh, the dog's paws are on here, too?" Tyler asked, and you laughed at how excited his voice was.

"Yeah."

"Is that why you wanted them to all stay with you so bad?" he asked, looking at you suspiciously.

"Yes," you laughed, petting Gerry where he was pushing his snout against your leg, "And I was trying to get all their paws painted, I had them all outside and then you kept calling me."

"Well, if I had been known you were doing this I wouldn't have," he said.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," you said.

"It was an awesome surprise," Tyler said, leaning over to kiss you, "I wasn't expecting any of it."

You smiled, while Gerry turned his attention towards Tyler now, Tyler rubbing him behind the ears. "Did you paint with Mom?" he asked, "Were you a good boy?"

"Mostly," you said, and then Tyler looked at Bentley, tickling his belly.

"What about you?" he asked. "Were you a good boy?"

"Yeah, well he couldn't run away," you said, and Tyler laughed, standing up and moving he sign to prop up against the wall now, kissing you once more as a thank you, and then looking at Bentley.

"Can I pick him up?"

"Yes," you laughed, because you thought that you'd been over that he didn't have to ask your permission to pick Bentley up.

"I meant do you think he's going to get mad if I pick him up," Tyler explained.

"No, I don't think he's going to get mad about being held," you said, your eyes looking at him, and then you saw your mixing bowl still on the counter. "Actually, before you do can you grab something from the cabinet for me? I can't reach it."

"Hmm..where?" he asked, and you led him over to the cabinet above your stove, opening it and then pointing towards the back.

"I need that loaf pan."

Tyler scowled, "You can reach that," he insisted.

"No, I can't," you laughed.

"Well, did you try?"

"No, but I was waiting for you to come home..."

"Well, how'd you get it up there?"

"I don't know," you said, "Are you going to help me or not?"

"Well, at least try," Tyler insisted, "What would you do if I wasn't here?"

You sighed, bracing your hand on the tip of the stove, stretching up on your tiptoes and then reaching your arm into the cabinet as if to demonstrate that you couldn't reach it, squealing as you felt the breeze back of your dress brush up, followed by Tyler laughing.

"Stop," you said, pushing your dress back down as you laughed, trying to look at him sternly.

"I only did that because I thought your skirt was going to go all the way up, but it didn't work," Tyler said, easily grabbing the pan for you.

"Oh my god," you said, which only made him laugh harder. "I only needed that pan because I was making two zucchini breads because you're here."

"You love it," he said, his hands resting low on your hips, pressing your foreheads together, followed by your lips.

But you started greasing the pans and pouring the batter in, because you didn't want him to get too much of the wrong idea, Tyler going over to unbuckling Bentley from his bouncer, pulling him up and cradling his head moving up and down with him, looking over the items out on the table once more.

"How many cards did you have to look at to find one that didn't say 'Dad'?"

"Umm...a lot," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"You could have just crossed it out," he said, miming the action with his finger, grinning, and it felt nice, that it was funny and not a moment of contention between you.

"Well, I didn't want to make it weird for you."

"Wouldn't be weird," he said, walking towards you, still holding Bentley to you. "It's not a secret. And....like maybe next year, I think maybe you could get me a real one?"

You stopped what you were doing, turning towards him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," he said, pressing his lips to yours. "Like this was perfect for this year. But, I think, yeah, I think next year I'll be ready."

You couldn't stop the smile from coming across your face, your heart swelling.

"You look kinda sleepy," Tyler said, kissing Bentley's cheek several times.

"He probably is," you said, looking at his eyes, "I was thinking we could go out for a w-a-l-k? I promised the dogs, and he could sleep in his stroller."

"Well, if you promised the dogs," Tyler said, smirking.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," you said.

"No, I could stretch my legs, I missed walking with you guys," Tyler said, and you shut your eyes, bracing yourself as Gerry jumped up.

"Okay, okay," you said, "in a bit, though, I need to throw these dishes in the dishwasher, and put some laundry in first."

"And open Bentley's present," Tyler said.

"What present?"

"The one I got him," Tyler grinned, and you gave him a look, Tyler swaying back and forth with Bentley, "Okay, I know, but whenever my dad used to go on a work trip he used to bring me something back, and I thought it would be a cool tradition for me to do with him."

"Awe," you said.

"Yeah, I know, it's cute, right?"

So you went to where Tyler had his bag in the front hall, the item on top in a shopping bag like he said it should be, laughing because there were so many bags of the candy you loved he had shoved in there. When you came back, Tyler turned away, his hand going over Bentley's eyes, "Don't peek, it's not wrapped."

You laughed, reaching into pull out the cotton object, holding up a little grey onesie with a turquoise outline of the state of Texas, your heart melting when you read the words, "Hey Y'all, I'm new here.", turning it towards Bentley. "Do you like it?" You asked, his lips turning up from where his head was resting against Tyler's chest.

"Yeah, so I thought like I could get him different shirts from different places?" Tyler said.

"Awe, when he's too big for them we can make them into a quilt for him," you said, envisioning Tyler being on a road trip, and being able to sit with Bentley and point out right where he was.

"Mama's got so many ideas," Tyler said, walking around the kitchen with Bentley as you started tidying up, coming to a stop in front of the ultrasound pictures of him hanging on the side of your fridge. "Look, that's you," Tyler said, holding Bentley's face next to the one of his profile. "Kinda looks like you still."

"I was just telling him about that today," you said.

"Yeah?" Tyler asked, "He's so much bigger now, I think he grew just while i was gone. You're gonna be ready to go golfing with me soon, huh? And Mommy can come with us?"

"I think that's maybe just something you guys can do together," you said.

"No, we'll convince her," Tyler said, talking to Bentley. "'I bet if I teach you to say, "Mommy, will you please come golfing with me?', she'll say yes.And we'll work on a pouty lip, too."

As if to make his point, Tyler stuck his bottom lip out, using his thumb to do the same to Bentley's.

"Okay, that's not fair," you said, and Tyler grinned.

"You'd look really good in one of those skirts, too," he said, his eyes clearly raking up your legs until he reached your eyes

"Okay," you said, wiping your hands off on the towel.

"Really, it,'d just be more fun if you came," Tyler said, moving in for a kiss.

"I'll think about it," you mumbled against his lips. "I'm just gonna throw my laundry in, you want those things in your bag washed?"

"Umm, yeah, they can be washed," Tyler said, "You want me to do it?"

"No, I got it," you reassured him, somehow feeling keen in a weird way to wash your clothes together,having to sort through his boxers and shirts in the dryer later to find your pajamas. "I really want you guys to spend some time together right now."

"Okay," Tyler said, his hand moving up and down Bentley's back. "I just have a few things."

It didn't seem like a chore, though, rifling through Tyler's bag, straightening out the shorts he'd had inside out, and searching searching for a rogue sock, setting your candy in a pile on the entry table. You didn't even really think twice when you felt a book, going to set it on the table too, in case Tyler was looking for it later. But you paused, everything stopping for a moment as you read the title "The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year", you thumb pressed into a part of the book that had been dogeared. You smiled, blinking your emotion away and ticking the book back inside.


	62. Chapter 62

"Are you gonna go jumping, Bentley?" you asked, looking at him resting against your chest, your feet stretched out in the sun on the deck.

"If his Uncle Ty-Ty can figure out how to hang this thing up ," Tyler said, the jolly jumper in hand, looking between the doorframe and the instructions.

"Are the directions confusing?"

"Not really," Tyler said, holding his hand on the door frame and shaking it back and forth. "I just don't know how sturdy this thing is."

"I'm sure it's fine, Tyler," you laughed, "Door frames are supposed to be strong, that's why you're supposed to stand in them if there's an earthquake."

"Well, I don't know how strong this one is."

"I'm pretty sure they're standard?" you asked, "It doesn't say it has to support a certain amount of weight or anything, he doesn't weigh that much, I don't think he's going to pull the frame down."

Tyler gave you a pitiful look. "I'm just trying to make sure he doesn't fall."

"I don't think he's going to fall," you laughed, readjusting Bentley is your lap. "People use these things all the time."

"You haven't read the warnings on this thing."

"Oh, it says that on all baby stuff," you said, and Tyler gave you a look of disbelief. "We're both gonna be right here, nothing's going to happen to him."

"Well...that's true," Tyler said, "Maybe I'll put Gerry in it first to test it out."

"What? So you don't care if Gerry falls?" you laughed, reaching out to pet Gerry.

"He's bigger so it wouldn't hurt him as much," Tyler laughed, turning back to hanging the Jolly Jumper up, and you watched, loving the way he pulled his lips between his teeth as he concentrated, and you didn't need to see behind his sunglasses to know that his eyes were only focused on what he was doing right in front of him.

7

"Do you need me to help?"

"Nah, I got it, babe," Tyler said, looking away just enough to smile at you. "You can check it though."

"No, I trust you," you said, bouncing Bentley. "We trust you."

You half-reclined back, almost wishing it would take him longer to hang the thing up, not just because you got to watch his arms flex, but because you realized that it was really attractive to watch him put something together for your kid, even though it wasn't as a long or involved process as putting together his crib, it felt kind of more exciting because you felt like he was trying to get ready as quickly as possible, like you both keen to see how he would like it, like you'd imagined would feel on Christmas morning, when you got him a new toy, and you couldn't wait to see his reaction.

"You ready to go, little man?" Tyler asked, extending his arms down, and you kept your hands around his ribcage, lifted him up until Tyler could slide his hands under Bentley's arms, easily lifting him up. "Are you excited? 'K, you need to straighten your leg, bud."

You laughed, leaning forward, and moving onto your knees, reaching for Bentley's leg to guide his feet in, Tyler fixing his arm once he was settled in and then you both backed up just a little, watching him.

"What do you think?" you asked, moving your hands away, Bentley just staring back at the both of you with a blank look on his face, his legs just dangling down.

Tyler laughed at Bentley's blank expression. "He looks really stoked."

"Well, it's something new," you said, your hands going to Bentley's sides and moving him a little bit, trying to get him to figure out that the thing bounced. "He needs to figure it out."

"He's not mad about it," Tyler said, pulling out his phone, smiling because you knew he was going to take a picture, your hands steadying Bentley for a moment only to move away, right for Gerry to step in, licking Bentley straight up his face before either of you could stop him, Bentley immediately starting to cry.

"Awe, it's okay," you said, swooping in to pick him up, and moving back and forth with him, "He was just trying to give you a kiss."

Gerry was whining now, looking up at you, and shifting back and forth. "Tyler, can you grab him? He's worried."

Tyler clucked his tongue, leaning over to rub Gerry behind the ears. "I don't think he likes that right in his face," Tyler said.

"Yeah, we're okay though, it just scared him a little bit," you said, bending down with Bentley who had stopped crying pretty quickly, letting Gerry come closer, taking Bentley hand to rub against his fur.

"Say you're sorry, Gerr" Tyler said in a soft voice, Gerry lapping at Bentley's hand, which didn't bother him at all.

"Okay, you want to try again?" you asked Bentley, letting Tyler hold the Jolly Jumper open for you to slide Bentley in, smiling down as his still unsure expression, Gerry laying down on the deck behind you.

"Good boy," Tyler said, and you crouched down in front of Bentley, Gerry eyeing you and crawling across the deck towards you and then you squealed as he suddenly jumped up on you, pushing you backwards as you struggled to try and stop the heavy weight from knocking you over, and you could hear Tyler giggling at you from behind him. "Get her, Gerr, get her."

You pushed back, desperately trying to keep from getting a dog tongue in your mouth or eyes, finally sitting back up. "Okay, okay," you said, laughing as he flopped down in your lap, rubbing him behind the ears and then patting his belly. "I swear to God he smells my milk."

Tyler's face scrunched up in confusion, looking down at you. "What are you talking about? He's nowhere near your boobs."

"He keeps jumping on me."

"He jumps on everyone?" Tyler said, "Haven't you met him before?"

"I meant more than usual," you said, because he'd been crawling all over you in bed this morning, continuing to pet Gerry even though Tyler was continuing to give you a look like you were slightly insane.

"It's probably just because he didn't jump on you while you were pregnant, and you just forgot how crazy he is."

"I don't think so," you said. "He's doing it way more than he did before."

"Babe," Tyler said seriously, "he doesn't smell the milk. He doesn't jump all over me when there's a bottle, you have milk on the nightstand all the time, he doesn't care."

"I'm sure he can smell it."

"Well, I mean, yeah, he's a dog," Tyler said. "But dogs don't even drink milk, babe."

"Yes, they do," you laughed. "All mammals drink milk when they're babies."

Tyler blinked several times. "Okay, well not human milk." He looked at you, and then you both just started laughing, him leaning into you.

"We stayed up way too late last night," you said, running your hand over your face.

"Mmyeah, we did," Tyler said, moving in to kiss you. "So worth it though."

"Yeah, it was," you said. You didn't really even feel as Tyler as you probably should, though, not when you'd taken a slow, leisurely walk last night, letting the dogs off their leashes at the park so you could walk hand in hand as you'd pushed the stroller, stopping to kiss every now and again. You'd come home, Bentley sleeping soundly in his stroller so you let him stay there, in the front entrance, Tyler pulling you away into the bedroom after you'd given the dogs fresh water and they'd headed straight for the couch, probably expecting you to follow suit, but you'd just taken time alone, getting reacquainted with each other's bodies, and touches. You'd decided, for some reason, to take a shower together around midnight, which was probably much later than you should have, but it refreshing and relaxing, even though you'd had to feed Bentley after you'd gotten out, wrapped up in bed in just a towel, your wet cold against your neck and shoulders, dripping down your back onto the pillow so when Tyler came back in with the dogs and a single plate with pie for you to share, a scoop of his ice cream on one side and your dairy free ice cream on the other, you relaxed into the warmth. You'd let Bentley sleep in bed with you, too, propped up on a pillow between your and Tyler's legs, the television illuminating the room, which was probably not the best habit, but you didn't care.

"He is so confused by this whole thing," Tyler said, giggling at Bentley now, and you looked at him, giving him a wide smile.

"Jump, jump, jump," you sung, moving your head up and down and Tyler immediately started laughing at you.

"Yeah, I'm sure if yy6ou say it like that it'll make him understand."

"Shut up, you talk to him in a baby voice, too."

"Do not," Tyler grinned.

"Tyler," you said, "You talk to the dogs in a baby voice."

"No, that's my puppy voice," Tyler said, leaning over to pet Marshall who was stretched out on the deck. "And you like it, don't you?"

You smiled as you shook your head, looking back at Bentley's tiptoes grazing the ground, pushing yourself up to stand. "I'm gonna go grab a blanket to put under his feet."

"Mmk," Tyler said, and you smiled, knowing that you didn't even have to ask Tyler to keep an eye on Bentley, moving past him and back into the house, going to grab one of Bentley's blankets which you had left on Tyler's bed, folding it in your hands as you walkwalk8ed back towards the back of the house.

"You got ta do it like this, bud," you heard Tyler say, his voice high, though all you could see was the back of Bentley, but you could tell from the positioning of his head that he was watching Tyler. "Yeah? Are you watching? Go like this."

You pursed your lips together, trying not to laugh when you moved so you could see Tyler, who was standing there with soft knees, bouncing up and down, his arms held out awkwardly to the side, and you covered your face, laughing at him.

"Shut up," Tyler laughed.

"Well, don't make fun of me if you're gonna do that," you said, putting your hand out to keep Bentley steady as you moved back outside.

"I live to make fun of you," Tyler said, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you towards him so he could kiss you against the temple, you rocking against him, and Bentley watching you both. You bent down, tucking the blanket underneath his feet, feeling Tyler's foot against your ass as you did so.

"Tyler," you laughed, your hand bracing against the side of the house to keep from tipping over despite the fact that he wasn't pushing you hard, and then you could hear Tyler laughing behind you.

"Marshall's, like, giving me a death glare," he said, and you eased yourself back down onto the deck, Marshall moving to rest his head in your lap.

Tyler cleared his throat, and you scooted down over as he moved to sit down next to you, his hand rubbing over Marshall's head. "You mind not trying to steal my girl?"

"That happened a really, really long time ago," you said, smiling and bending down to kiss the top of Marshall's head.

"Yeah, I know," Tyler said, running his hand over his beard, "But if you're gonna kiss him, could you at least kiss me?"

"Yes," you laughed, turning, your hand moving to cup his cheek, pressing your lips softly to his, once and then twice, smiling again each other as you heard an insistent squeaking behind you.

"You want to play?" Tyler asked, wrestling the stuffed toy from Gerry's mouth, and you saw the Bentley's head follow, smiling behind his pacifier.

"He's watching,' you said, nudging Tyler,and he looked down at Bentley, which meant Gerry took the opportunity to half jump and half lunge to try and get the toy from Tyler.

"Ow, be careful," Tyler said, running on his tiptoes to the edge of the deck, Gerry trotting after him while Tyler swung the toy back and forth, before launching it over the side of the deck where you heard it hit something, Gerry scrambling to go after it while Tyler started laughing running his hand over his face.

"What did it hit?"

"The dock," Tyler said, "I was trying to throw it in the water."

"From here?"

"Yes," Tyler said, continuing to laugh. "Look, I play hockey, not baseball."

"I didn't say anything," you said, "That's a long way, Tyler."

"He could have thrown it better than me," Tyler said, nodding towards Bentley.

"If he could figure out how to hold it and let go," you said.

"Yeah, once he gets that...I need Jamie to teach me how to throw," Tyler said, looking out into the yard and then back at Bentley. "You keep watching for him, bud, he's gonna come back....I hope."

You smiled, watching Cash push himself up to standing, moving towards the door, his head moving between Bentley's body and the door. "Oh, you wanna go inside?" you asked, moving your hand to hold Bentley in place so Cash could get by without bumping him, but Cash only proceeded to turn around, curling around to lay down on the blanket you'd only just put under Bentley, Cash looking back over his shoulder at Bentley as if to check on him before he set his head back down, your heart melting at the way that Bentley's little toes were now buried in Cash's black fur.

"Oh, my god, Tyler, you have to take a picture."

Tyler laughed under his breath, fishing for his phone. "Stay..." he prompted, crouching down to take the picture, clucking his tongue to try and get Bentley to look at him, Cash looking up at Tyler without lifting his head, as if his nap time was behind interrupted, finally petting Cash on the forehead after he was satisfied he'd gotten a good picture. "Good boy, are you being a foot rest?"

"They are so adorable," you said, leaning against Tyler.

"Oh, he's like obsessed," Tyler said, "he's just gonna have to watch out when Bentley figures out how to jump so he doesn't get kicked in the head."

"I don't think he's gonna figure it out today," you said, and Tyler laughed.

"Yeah, I don't think so, but you'll figure it out this summer, won't you?" Tyler asked, moving like he wanted to tickle Bentley, but did not want to upset the way his feet were rested on Cash. "He's just chillin'."

"Yeah, I think he likes sitting up like that so he can look around," you said, "And it's perfect because then he's not in the sun."

"I think we're gonna be spending a lot of time here this summer," Tyler said, his arms wrapping around you from behind, rocking back and forth, still touching you as much as possible even when Gerry came back, and Tyler reached around to grab his toy and grow it for him again. Rather than getting actually sitting in the chairs, you found yourself sitting on the deck again with Tyler, like he too wanted to be as close to Bentley as possible.

When Gerry jumped out into the yard again, Bentley must have smiled again, your hand reaching out to grab his falling pacifier before you'd even realized he had dropped it.

"Nice catch," Tyler said, his voice reverberating through you from where you were leaning against him. "You got those fast mom reflexes."

"Thank you," you said, letting Tyler take it from your hand and set it up on the table, relaxing into the warmth of his body behind yours, the evening air starting to cool things off. You hadn't even realized just how much you'd missed Tyler's touch, just over the past few days when he'd been gone. It wasn't like you'd been without human contact either, not when you'd had a baby on you for most of the day, but you were realizing how much of a touchy feely relationship you had, and maybe you'd kind of always had been physical as friends, but it was even more pronounced now, and you were actually kind of thankful that you'd decided that you were going to go fishing when Tyler's dad got here, because it would give you something to do, otherwise you'd probably be touching the entire time without realizing it, and you wanted to try and keep the PDA to a minimum, or at least ease into it, because you this was the guy who used to just casually put his arm around all of his female friends' shoulders while you were watching a movie and all of just felt...incredibly foreign, even as Tyler's hands moved around your shoulders, his touch equal parts calming and distracting. "Are you nervous?"

"..about?"

"Today," you said.

"About taking Bentley on the boat?" Tyler asked, "He's been on before, he was cool. He was a life jacket, if he starts crying too much, we'll just throw him overboard, he can swim back to the house."

You could hear the smile in his voice, and knew Tyler was looking at Bentley, teasing him before he could even understand, and you knew there'd be a lot more of that to come. "No," you said, "I mean, I don't know how he'll be, but we're both going to be there, so it'll be fine."

You could hear Tyler laughing under his breath from behind you. "You're gonna have to give me more, babe."

"About your dad coming," you said, and when Tyler didn't answer you right away, you realized he was still waiting for you to explain. "You haven't introduced me to him as your girlfriend yet."

"You know you've met my dad hundreds of times, right?" Tyler asked, his voice light, as if he was amused.

"It's different."

"It's not that different," Tyler said. "It's not different at all actually."

"You've never been nervous bringing a girl home?" you asked Tyler, turning your head to look at him.

"Not really, no," Tyler said, "Why would I be nervous? I'm not the one who has to impress my family."

"Tyler," you pleaded, and he laughed, kissing you on the top of your head, his hands sweeping up and down your arms.

"Chill out, my dad already loves you, he's super proud of you."

"Proud of me?" you asked looking back at him.

"Well, yeah," Tyler nodded. "I mean, I know you were way more mature than I was when we meant, but you've grown up, still, I mean, you're a woman. An amazing woman. And, really, I'm just excited that I actually get to show you off a bit, I never get to do that."

You felt your cheeks heat up at the way he was grinning at you, and Tyler laughed, leaning around to kiss your cheek. "Sorry, but you're going to have to get used to me showing you off, you look damn gorgeous today."

"Today?" you asked, laughing, letting the flannel that you borrowed from Tyler's closet hang open, the bottom of your tank top pulled up since you were sitting, revealing that your denim shorts were being held together by a hair elastic. "I barely even got ready today, I had to steal your shirt to cover, because my shorts still don't fit, I-,"

Tyler laughed under his breath, leaning around to kiss you. "You look beautiful, I love it when you when you wear my clothes, except for when I can't find my stuff," Tyler said, his hands largely roaming up over the top of your soft belly, "I like this, too."

"What? That my pants aren't done up properly?" you laughed.

"No, I meant your shape like this," he laughed, his hands running around, settling on your hips. "You don't?"

"I mean, I don't not - not like it," you said, "My body's just not the same as it was before I got pregnant, which is normal, it hasn't even been three months since I had him. It could take another nine months, or it could take a whole year."

"Or your body might never go back to how it was before."

"Tyler!" you laughed.

"What? What did I say?"

"You're supposed to be like, 'yeah, babe, you can get back in shape again'."

"Okay, that is not what I meant," Tyler laughed with a hint of a sigh, looking like he was trying to be careful with his words now, running his hand over his face. "I'm trying to not say something that is going to get me in trouble."

"You are not going to get in trouble," you said, shifting, your hand coming up to his face, pressing your lips softly to his.

"I just mean... I don't want to tell you how your body should look, but..." Tyler said, and your eyebrows raised a little in anticipation, and yet you were aware of his hands gripping your hips possessively. "Let's just say if your body stayed right as it is right now, I'd be really into it."

"Really?" you asked, a little surprised at the lust that was evident to you in his words.

"Mmmm...it's like woman-ly," Tyler said, his voice deep, "Well, you've always have curves, but...yeah, I've just really been enjoying the way your body's been changing over the past few months, I'm into it. You're not into it?"

"It's not-," you said, feeling slightly awkward that he was focused on the way you felt about your body, but you also felt like you could talk to him about anything, and he was listening. "It's not so much about the way my body looks, it's more that my body doesn't really feel like my body. Like it still feels like...I don't know, I just feel like I need to appreciate my new body. Like I want to work out because I want to feel good, not about the weight or my size."

"I get that," Tyler said easily, "But I really, really appreciate it, if that means anything to you. Like your hips and....yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Tyler said, his lips capturing yours hotly, his hand moving to your waist and then back down again, his fingers just slipping up ever so slightly under your tank top, his skin warm against yours. "How much time do you think we have ...?"

You laughed against his lips, pulling back a little. "Not enough."

"You sure? Because I can..."

"Tyler, your dad's supposed to be here any minute."

"I could text him and ask him to pick something up or-"

"Tyler," you repeated,trying not to laugh at his dejected look. "Bentley's up anyways, we can't right now.."

Tyler looked towards the door, "Cash can babysit, can't you, Bud?" He asked, though Cash didn't do much more than blink in Tyler's general direction, Bentley's feet still resting on his back, yet Cash wasn't moving a muscle, Tyler's arms hugging around you.

"Tyler.." you said, feeling slightly guilty, because you were the one who had a baby, and it made the whole intimacy thing and ensuring you got enough one-on-one time all that much harder.

"Yeah, I know, I'm not trying anything," Tyler promised, and yet his hands were still on you. "That doesn't mean I can't touch you, does it?"

"No," you said, "just don't..."

Tyler laughed against you. "Il try not to get too handsy," he said, feeling his lips against the back of your head, his fingers playing in your hair and then moving it over your shoulder, his chin resting on your shoulder, and you shifted a little. "Too much?"

"No," you said, "I'm just...kinda sore."

"Mmmwas I too rough last night?" he asked, his voice deep and gentle against your neck nuzzling into you.

"No," you assured him, feeling your body flush with just those words though.

"Too long without me?" He asked, and now a smile crept onto your face and you nodded.

"Yeah, I think that's it."

You could feel him smile against you, nuzzling further into you. "I'm sorry," he said, his hand moving down your arm. "I think maybe, tonight, after we put the little guy to bed, you and I should have a warm bath, or a long shower...."

"That's sounds nice," you said, turning your head, kissing him softly, and then looking over your other shoulder to Bentley. "Hey, baby, you still happy?"

"Of course he's happy," Tyler said, his fingers tracing circles just above your knee. "You know, I think maybe we should get you some shorts that actually fit though."

"Yeah, I might feel better," you said, "That's why I've been wearing dresses, they're more comfortable, but we're going fishing."

"And you need to wear pants fishing?" Tyler giggled.

"Yes."

"Bentley's not wearing pants, look how happy he is," Tyler said, looking around you to Bentley, "It's a no pants party, are you having a no pants party?"

You laughed at Tyler singing, Bentley eventually smiling at him.

"I didn't want him to get too hot when we put his life jacket on."

"So it's not just because you like to look at his chubby legs?" Tyler asked.

"A little bit because I like to look at his chubby legs," you said, Tyler's hand toying with the bottom of your shorts, the other running up your arm.

"Yeah, I agree with you on the dresses being better through," Tyler said, laughing even before continued his thought. "Easy access."

You shook your head a little now rather than responding, because even though he was clearly joking and trying to tease you, it was different now than before because you knew he was serious, and yet it still sent a mild thrill through you, your hand moving onto Tyler's leg as he stretched his legs out on either side of you,rolling your neck as Tyler's hands kneaded into your shoulders. "Mmm that feels good."

"Good," Tyler said softly, "You're kinda tight."

"Well, Bentley's getting heavier, I'm carrying him around all the time."

"I think it's more how big your boobs are," Tyler said.

"Oh my god," you said under your breath.

"It's true," he said, his hands moving around to cup them now, shifting the weight in his palms. "Yeah, bigger."

You laughed under your breath, watching as Gerry abandoned his toy, running across the grass, and then Marshall stood up from the deck, running after him around to the gate, and you could hear Tyler's dad greeting them, Tyler's hands dropping from your chest, and then hurriedly trying to button your shirt up, despite the fact that you had a tank top underneath and it had been half button the whole time, and you pushed his hands away, fixing your shirt as you stood back up, and then you reached down your hand to Tyler, helping to pull him up before you reached down to pick up Bentley.

"C'mon, Cash," Tyler said, laughing at him. "Did she steal your baby? Come get him."

Tyler's hand ran over Cash's fur as he moved around you, and then brushing across your lower back as you walked out into the yard.

"Hi," you said, hugging Paul around where you were holding Bentley in the curve of your arm, and feeling the dog's fur brush against your bare leg, wanting turning your head so you could see Bentley's reaction when he got to see his grandpa for the first time, feeling Tyler moving around behind you, your hand going to brush against Bentley's cheek, trying to encourage him to look in the right direction. "This is Bentley Tyler," you said, your face nothing short of beaming, feeling Tyler move in closer.

"It's so nice to meet you," Paul said, bending over so he was in front of Bentley's face, moving his fingers over Bentley's curled fists. "I've been looking forward to it."

"Whose that?" Tyler asked, "Is that your Papa?"

You smiled, shifting Bentley in your arms. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Well, yeah," he laughed, extending his arms, and you smiled again, shifting Bentley into his arm, where he moved up and down with him a bit until he settled in.

"Aw, you're a happy guy, aren't you?"

"Are you gonna give him a smile?" you asked, leaning in to tilt your head towards him, saying softly, "Bentley bear, hi."

"You can smile bigger than that," Tyler teased him.

"He's gonna make me work for it," Paul said, running his hands over Bentley's belly and his new onesie that Tyler had brought home for him. "I like your shirt."

"He's a big Texas guy," Tyler said, "Even when he's in Canada, he's gotta represent."

"Even though he's never been to Dallas."

"He's been to Dallas," Tyler said, "In the belly, he loved it."

"We looked for a long time to find the right one," Paul continued, still looking down at Bentley.

"You did?" you asked, looking back at Tyler who just shrugged, running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, 'I don't know if I should get him a toy, or a book, or clothes'," Paul imitated, "'And he's been in 3-6 months clothes for the past month, so if I get him that size, how long is he going to be able to wear it?"

"Well, I knew I could only get him one thing because I'm not supposed to buy him too many presents," Tyler said, "And I figured that clothes would be better than toys because it's something he 'needs'".

"Well, he's too young, he can't really appreciate toys," you said, "And he's not really into them right now yet, either, this is perfect."

"Well, I think that's the perfect time to spoil him because he can't be bratty about it because he doesn't know but whatever," Tyler grinned.

"Did you have to train this morning, Tyler?"

"Mhmm.." Tyler answered, and you could see him grinning at you out of the corner of your eye. "Went and came back and all these guys were still in bed."

"Okay," you clarified, "I was up with him when you were gone, I just brought him into bed. And you fell asleep with him on the couch this afternoon, so don't even."

Tyler immediately started laughing. "He fell asleep on me first, I didn't want to move and wake him up, what else was I supposed to do?"

"Was he up much last night?"

"Umm...a couple times?" you answered, looking at Tyler, because you couldn't even really remember from one night to the next, especially not when Tyler was home, because he was kind of a distraction.

"Something like that," Tyler said, "He's usually pretty good though, he just wants to wake up and eat, sometimes get his diaper changed, other than that he usually goes back to sleep. Unless he's having a growth spurt, then he just wants boobs all the time."

"Yeah, that's all you wanted to do at this age, too," Paul said.

"Yeah, well, nothing's really changed since then," Tyler said, smirking at his own remark, leaning into you, and you raised your eyebrows, pretending you were scratching your forehead to try and shield your face until you could collect your thoughts without the look on your face betraying you.

"They will sleep better eventually," Paul said, moving back and forth with Bentley, "I know it doesn't seem like it, but they will."

"Yeah, it's just hard to keep a schedule," you said, "I'm glad Tyler got to get a few good night's sleep, though, he's been up with us a lot."

"Well, I don't think Tyler did sleep," Paul said, looking at Tyler, your eyes following as well. "I could hear you rummaging around in the kitchen in the middle of the night."

"I was looking for cereal," Tyler said, "Usually she wants water when she's feeding the baby, so I get her that, and then sometimes she's hungry so then we've been having cereal in the middle of the night, I wanted cereal."

"You were waking up in the night?" You asked.

"Yeah, I'm used to it," Tyler shrugged, "I didn't know what to do with myself."

"Well, you could have called me," you said, "We were up."

"Yeah, but he doesn't get up at the same time every night, I didn't want to wake you guys up," Tyler said, squinting a little in the light. "Also i felt like the constant texting, and phone calls, and thinking about you was a bit much, I was trying to play it cool. Which i was not managing to do at all."

You laughed, steadying yourself on his arms so you could raise onto your tiptoes, kissing him on the cheek. "You're cute."

"Was it cute?" Tyler asked, his cheeks plump and rosy.

"Yeah, it is," you said, leaning into him.

"Jamie was kind of bugging me about it, but I don't really care what he thinks, I care what you think."

"Awe, was he jealous that you were spending too much time talking to me? Maybe he missed you."

"Maybe a little," Tyler said, running his hand over his beard, "Probably I would think he's more jealous that I've found someone I'm so damn in love with."

"Tyler," you said, your heard swelling in your chest, emotion flooding you eyes.

"What?" he asked.

"Just..just....stop it," you said, Tyler laughing, and then your laughter turned softer as Bentley starting making his little chatting noises, both of you turning to look at him.

"What's up, bud?" Tyler asked.

"I can't tell if he's happy or sad," Paul said, bouncing with Bentley a little.v

"Oh he's fine," you said. "Maybe he wants his puppy."

"His puppy?"

"His paci," Tyler explained, as you went to go grab it from where Tyler had left it. "His puppies never leave his side.

"You want this?" you asked, when you came back, moving it to his mouth, and then running your hand over his head once he took it. "Is that better?"

"Thanks, Mama, I was looking for that," Tyler said, his voice soft, the pacifier moving back and forth as Bentley started to suck on it. "You can walk around with him, too, he likes to look at stuff."

"Yeah, he does," you added, Bentley's eyes flickering a little as he looked up, Paul turning with him.

"Just don't drop him," Tyler added.

"Yeah, I'll try not to."

"Cash is just following them," you said, your heart swelling at the way that Cash was keeping pause with Paul, looking up at Bentley in his arms, and not even watching where he was going, tripping over a tree root, but barely even breaking his stride.

"Yeah, well if I'd known it was going to help him get this much exercise, I would have got him a baby sooner."

"Tyler," you scolded, "Don't be mean to him."

"I'm not," Tyler said, "Look how happy he is."

Cash's tail was wagging as he walked, whereas Gerry was running ahead like he wanted to play, and Marshall was currently rolling around on his back in the grass, but your eyes were just on Tyler's dad, who had Bentley half propped up in his arms. You couldn't see his face, but you could see that Paul was talking to Bentley, pointing at something out in the water and turning him so he could look. You smiled, not even realizing you were reaching for Tyler's hand until his fingers hooked around yours, both of you turning and smiling at each other, your lips connecting in a gentle kiss. You just looked at him as you pulled back, your gaze running over his deep brown eyes, the imperfections of his skin, his soft lips, not quite able to find the words, but you were pretty sure he got it.

"Is 'Papa' okay?" Tyler asked, "I meant to ask, I just thought –".

"Papa's perfect," you said, "I want you to decide what he calls your parents anyway."

Tyler smiled at you, turning to face you, his other hand moving into yours, too. "Yeah, but what do you want?"

"Yeah, I wanted something Grandpa," you said, "He's his grandpa."

"Yeah, I used to call my grandpa 'Papa' so..yeah," Tyler said, like you didn't already know, like you hadn't already made the connection. "I thought it was fitting."

"I love it," you said, "I can't wait for him to be able to say it."

"I know," Tyler said softly, his arm coming to wrap around your shoulder, and your arm wrapped around his waist. You weren't sure quite how long you stood there, leaning against each other and watching them as they walked along the edge of the water, but you were aware of the two of your sliding apart when Bentley started crying, not being soothed by anything Paul was doing.

"He gets like that sometimes when he's gone from his mom for too long," Tyler said, as you met in the middle, extending your arms for your baby. "He's a big mama's boy."

"He was fine," you said, pulling him to your chest and swaying back and forth in the way that he liked, although already he was started to calm down, your hand sliding under his bum as you kissed the top of his head a couple of times. "Is your diaper wet? Is that why you're a bit sad? Should we go change you before we go?"

"You want me to change him?" Tyler asked.

"No, I'll do it, I want to offer him and see if he'll eat before we go."

"You don't want to feel him on the boat?" Tyler asked with a smirk.

"Umm...not really, no," you laughed, "we won't be too long."

"Take your time," Paul said.

"Yeah, we'll just get everything ready to go," Tyler said, his hand brushing against your side as you moved towards the door, leaning into kiss each other,and you could see Tyler's dad laughing at you out of the corner of your youeye, realizing that you probably didn't need to kiss each other like you were saying goodbye when you' only be heading inside for about 15 minutes, Tyler sliding his hands into his pockets, whistling for the dogs. "C'mon Marsh, C'mon, Ger. Go inside, go have a nap on Mommy and Daddy's bed while we're gone."

"Did he eat?" Tyler asked, when you came back outside, carrying Bentley along with his hat and pacifier.

"Yeah, he had a little snack so he should be okay for awhile," you said.

"Good boy," Tyler said, leaning down to kiss the top of Bentley's head, Bentley's blanket tossed over his arm.

"Do you want to put his life jacket on? I'm just going to go grab us some waters."

"I already got them, babe, " Tyler said, taking Bentley from you anyways. "And I packed you a lemonade and some snacks."

"Snacks?" you asked.

"Yeah, in case you get hungry," Tyler said, laying the blanket down on the table and the resting Bentley onto, reaching for his life jacket, smirking at you over his shoulder. "You know how sometimes you get really bitchy when you're hungry."

"Oh my god, I do not."

Tyler laughed, "Well, not anymore, you used to," he said, continuing to laugh, while you gave him a dirty look. "Nah, you weren't that bad, you just got kinda sad that this guy gets when he's hungry. I just wanted to make sure that you had something because you're still eating for two. I mean, not that she's pregnant, she's not pregnant again, I meant because of the breastfeeding. She's supposed to have extra carbs and fat. I packed you guacamole and chips."

You laughed at Tyler's rush to explain, although he was still deftly buckling Bentley into his life jacket without even barely looking. "Thank you, that's my favourite."

"I know it is," Tyler smiled back at you.

"You seem to know quite a lot about babies now, Tyler," Paul said.

"I'm learning," Tyler said.

"Yeah, well it's an adventure."

"Mhmm.." Tyler said, picking Bentley up in his life jacket. "Sometimes this guy is a bit hard to figure out, but it's figuring out what Mom wants that's the hardest."

"What do you mean?" you said, smirking at Tyler because you were pretty sure that you already knew what he meant.

"Like I learned that when she says 'hey, when you get home, can you stay with the baby, I want to go grab something from the store', that actually means don't grab that stop and grab that thing on the way home, that means she just wants to go wants to get out of the house for a few minutes without the baby."

"No, I said what I mean," you laughed.

"Well, I didn't know, I thought it was some kind of code, like you were trying to tell me you wanted me to get it for you without asking."

"No," you smiled, giving Tyler a sheepish look. "I said what I meant. But I do appreciate that you were trying to help."

"Just don't do it again?" Tyler asked, grinning at you.

"Yeah, just don't do it again," you said, laughing with him.

"I think," Tyler said, adjusting Bentley now. "That the most important part is for me to make sure I'm taking care of and supporting Mom, because..."

"It's a pretty Mom intensive time?" Paul finished.

"Yeah, that," Tyler grinned.

"You're always done a good job with that, though," you said, leaning in towards Bentley who was looking at you, gathering the items on the table since Tyler had Bentley. "Do you have your phone?"

"Mhmm..its in my pocket," Tyler said, leaning on the top part of his body away from you so you could grab it. "You want it?"

"No, I just wanted to make sure you had it, I left mine inside, and I want to get pictures of his first time going fishing."

"Well, duh," Tyler said, sticking his tongue out impishly at you, and you smiled, putting Bentley's hat on his head, which you'd been waiting for, the little baseball hat that looked like a shark that you'd ordered when he'd been sick.

"Look how cute this is, he's a shark."

"I don't know if you should wear that fishing though, bud, you might scare off all the fish," Tyler said, using his free arm to adjust the brim of the hat over Bentley's eyes, laughing because you could barely seen any of his body with the hat and his life jacket. "Can you see anything?"

"We'll take it off once the sun goes down a bit more," you said, laughing even more. "He looks so uncomfortable in that thing, but he doesn't even cry."

"He's excited to go on the boat, aren't you bud?" Tyler asked, squatting up and down a little with Bentley.

"Do we have everything? I got his blanket, and his pacifier, and wipes."

"I think, I put one of his extra blankies on the boat already."

"His blankies?" you laughed.

"Shut up," Tyler said, pushing his lips firmly to yours, his free handing slipping around your back as you walked towards the boat, handing everything in your hands over to Tyler's dad, letting Tyler give you his hand to help you step onto the boat, despite the fact that he was holding Bentley, and you didn't really need a steadying hand, Tyler using two hands to pass Bentley into your arms, where you settled your hand under Bentley's bum to keep him steady. "Okay, we've got to take a picture," you said.

"We haven't even left yet," Tyler laughed, unhooking the boat from the dock, while you tried to not stare at muscles spread across his back, even through his shirt.

"I know, but I want to make sure we get a picture while he's not crying, and he's awake."

"Yeah, okay," Tyler said, taking his phone out of his pocket.

"With all of us," you clarified, and Tyler laughed, coming to sit down next to his dad who was on your side, extending his arm out in front of him with his phone in hand. "Bentley, look up here," Tyler said, dissolving into giggles. "He's just staring at you, babe, look up here, bud," Tyler said, while he was continuing to take pictures, snapping his fingers behind the phone. "He has no idea where the camera is, but I got pictures."

"That's okay, he was here," you said, bouncing Bentley in your lap and laughing at his little disgruntled face, like he wasn't quite sure what was going on.

"Do you want me to take one, just the three of you?" Paul asked.

"Umm..yeah, sure," you said, trying to remember now if you'd ever had a picture taken of just the three of you, by anyone else at least, and you couldn't quite even recall if you'd ever had, but you must have, at least when he was born. You stood up beside Tyler, his arm moving around you as you took off Bentley's hat for a moment and put it behind your back so you could see his face, Tyler's arm wrapping all the way to reach for Bentley's hands, with Tyler's dad trying to make sounds to attract Bentley's attention, but he was too distracted by everything going on around him.

"I've got a trick," Paul said, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys, dangling them over the camera so they clinked together. "Do you like that?"

"He smiles," you said, looking down at Bentley, and then back to get your picture taken, Tyler's hand moving up, kissing your temple. "I should take a picture of just the three of you, all the Seguin men. I mean, the three generations."

Tyler laughed at you stumbling over your words, taking Bentley from you, Tyler's dad handing his keys over to you and then Tyler's phone, and you couldn't stop the emotion from swelling in your throat as you took the picture, Tyler's eyes connecting with yours, like he got it, even though he had his sunglasses on, smiling at you rather than at the camera.

"Okay, go sit with Mom," Tyler said, passing Bentley back to you, and you put his hat back on, sitting down. "You ready to go? You got him, babe?"

"Yep," you responded, leaning forward to watch Bentley's face as you started to move, Tyler repeatedly looking over his shoulder at you.

"He's been out on the boat before, right?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, but just with Ty, I didn't go."

"Did he like it?"

"Yeah, he was happy hanging out with the boys," Tyler said, "I'm sorry we're not going to be able to go as fast this time, bud, since Mom's here. We'll have to take it down a notch."

"You were going the slowest ever," you laughed, "You were being even more careful than when we brought him home from the hospital."

"Until you couldn't see us anymore, then I let him drive," Tyler said, "The kid's got a lead foot."

"Yeah, I wonder where he gets that from," you said dryly.

"Well, it's obviously you," Tyler said, "I would never speed."

"He loves being outside though," you said to Tyler's dad, "Like he just seems so relaxed when being outside, if he's sad, usually walking about outside helps him calm down."

"Yeah, usually we take him for a walk every night," Tyler added, "With the dogs. He loves it."

"He fits really well into our lifestyle," you said, leaning over to look at Bentley, laughing. "Do you feel the wind on your face? Is that why you're doing that thing with your eyes?"

It was relaxing, though, listening to the water, and listening to the quiet, cuddled up with Bentley and watching Tyler and his dad cast out their fishing lines, just barely keeping up with the conversation, your eyes feeling heavy and content.

"Hey Bentley," Tyler said, "I think we got a fish."

You checked that Bentley's eyes were still open because he seemed heavy in your arms, lifting him up so he could see the fish breaking through the water, and Tyler reeling it in.

"Bass?" Paul asked.

"Yep," Tyler asked, pulling it up and looking at it, taking pieces of seaweed off and tossing them back into the water. "You want to see it, bud?"

You sat Bentley up in your lap, and Tyler came close, holding the fish with both hands. "That's a largemouth bass."

"Wow, that's a cool fish, Uncle Ty-Ty," you said, leaning your head around next to Bentley's. "You want to touch it?"

You took Bentley's hand in yours, stroking the back of his hand over the fish.

"What is that thing he's doing with his tongue?" Tyler giggled.

"That's his thinking face, you do the exact same thing."

"No, I don't."

"Yeah, you do," you said, looking to Tyler's dad for confirmation as Tyler released the fish back into the water, grabbing a wipe for Bentley's hands. "Don't you think he looks like Tyler a lot?"

"Yeah, for sure," Paul said, "especially as a baby."

You looked up at Tyler, his cheeks turning pink. "You're blushing."

"I am not blushing," Tyler said, looking at you and then pulling the hood of his sweatshirt around to cover his face. "Stop looking at me."

"I see you in him too, Y/N," Paul said, "You guys make cute kids."

"The cutest," Tyler said, "he's way prettier than I was."

Soon enough, after the sun had gone down, you dug into you snacks, reclining with your feet up and listening to Tyler and his dad talk about what they'd caught,switching up their lures, the quiet being broken by a boom, jumping just as the flash of fireworks rained out from afar, a shock of surprise coming from you, and then Bentley immediately giving off a startled cry.

"Awe, come here," Tyler said, extending his arms and pulling Bentley to his body, "it's okay."

"I think I scared him," you said, your hand moving over your pounding heart.

"I'll keep you safe," he said, both arms around Bentley, swaying back and forth, "Mommy's a little jumpy sometimes,but that's okay."

You were glad that Bentley was already calming down with Tyler, even though the fireworks were still going off, confirming you'd just startled him.

"Why are there even fireworks?"

"Canada Day," Tylersaid, his eyebrows raised as if you should know that.

"But its not-"

"Probably just celebrating early," Tyler said, shifting with Bentley, feeling your heart rate return to normal, your gaze moving up.

"Babe, look at him," Tyler said in wonder, and you leaned forward, laughing under your breath when you saw his mouth hung open, his eyes wide as he looked upwards, and then you couldn't even watch the fireworks anymore.

"He loves it," you said, smiling at Tyler and then his dad.

"Yeah, well now we can get fireworks for Canada Day now that we know he likes them and isn't scared," Tyler said, grinning at you. "You can hide inside with the dogs though if you need to."

"Shut up," you said, your hand gently pushing against his arm, Tyler chasing you to kiss your cheek.

"You want me to take sit with him for a bit so you guys can fish?"

"Sure," you and Tyler said unanimously, smiling at each other, Tyler moving to settle Bentley into his dad's hands, where Bentley proceeded to squirm a bit restlessly, his hand rubbing at his eyes.. "Oh, you're getting tired," you said, going to get his pacifier,and giving it to him and Paul shifted with him so Bentley was laying down and being cradled, giving his foot a little squeeze. "You want to have a nap with Papa?"

"Papa wants a nap," Paul said, continuing to rock Bentley gently and you checked on him once more before you look the pole that Tyler had stretched out towards you, leaning your head against his shoulder. It wasn't long before you felt the familiar tugging on your line, alnd, although you could barely see it yourself, you could hear Tyler giggling at you already as he shone the light for you.

"That's a baby fish, you're supposed to catch a Mommy fish."

"Hey, at least I caught something."

"Yeah, I'm proud of you," Tyler said in a half mocking tone.

"Smallmouth bass?" you asked.

"Mhmm.." Tyler said, like he was actually impressed, "Very,very small mouth bass."

"Stop making fun of me," you laughed.

"Never," Tyler grinned at you, looking over your shoulder. "Hey, bud, Mama caught you a fish."

"Oh, he is out," Paul said, one hand holding Bentley's head to his chest, Bentley's hand curled up under his chin. "He's got his hand all cozied up."

"Oh, he does that all the time when he's comfy," you said, grabbing Bentley's blanket and tucking it around him.

"Yeah, he came out like that," Tyler said, and you looked at Tyler in surprise.

"He did?"

"Yeah, you didn't notice?" Tyler asked, "I mean, I guess you were kind of busy. But, yeah, he was like that," he said, putting his own hand to his face to demonstrate, blinking his eyes.

"He did that in his ultrasound too," you smiled.

"Yeah, I know," Tyler said, "C'mon, I'll take a picture with you and your fish so we can show Bentley when he wakes up."

You laughed, but did it anyways, and then went back to how you were before, Tyler coming in behind you, moving his arms around to lay by yours, his lips pressed to the back of your head.


	63. Chapter 63

One of the major changes that you'd noticed since having a kid was that holidays mattered to you a lot more than they used to, even the ones that you'd typically see as just a day off to hang out with your friends or family, which was exactly how you usually saw Canada Day.

You wiped your hand on the tea towel when you heard your phone buzz, pulling it to you.

Tyler: What the fuck is Bocconcini?

You: It's like little balls of mozzarella cheese.

Tyler: Cheese balls?

You: It should be by the feta cheese

Tyler: What's feta cheese?

You: You can ask someone if you can't find it

Tyler: I would if I knew how to pronounce it

A couple minutes later though he sent you a kissy face and you'd assumed he found it, sending him back a quick "Love you" message, your hand going to cradle Bentley's head as you turned, looking down at his smiling face.

"Oh, is Gerry kissing your foot? Does that feel funny?"

You raised your knee as Gerry jumped up excitedly. "Oh, don't jump when I have the baby, please. Sit," you said, Gerry sitting, and then walking his paws out so he was laying down, looking up at you with his tail still wagging. "Good boy," you said, gathering him another piece of watermelon, and then you had to give one to Cash and Marshall, too. You ran your finger over the raised red bumps on his cheek, trying to see if the little rash he'd woken up with this morning was bothering him at all. You'd put balm on it earlier, before you'd left the house, but of course you'd left it next to the change pad in his bedroom, with everything you had to remember to pack up before you came over to Tyler's. Luckily, though, Tyler said he would go back and grab it when he went to get the few last minute things you'd agreed to pick up today.

Once you'd finished with your watermelon, you started on making guacamole and dip for the veggies, washing extra tomatoes so you'd be ready to go by the time Tyler got home with the cheese. When Bentley started whining and rooting in your chest, you merely just shifted, adjusting him and yourself so he could nurse while you continued to do what you've been doing until Tyler got home.

"I got your ball cheese," he said, grocery bags in hand as he pushed his sunglasses up, leaning in to kiss you.

"Thank you," you laughed, and Tyler smiled an affirmation, turning to unpack the groceries and put them away in the fridge, laughing.

"Did you cup the watermelon up into maple leafs?"

"Yeah, aren't they cute?" you said, looking over your shoulder at him. "Oh, did you get the ketchup chips?"

"Yes, but I don't really know why you wanted them, nobody likes ketchup chips anyways."

"They're Canadian," you said.

"Yeah, I know, and so is the clamato juice," Tyler said, turning to look at you, and then frowning, his eyes drifting downwards. "Is he on your boob?"

"He's eating," you said, your hand moving behind Bentley's head. "He got hungry."

"Yeah, well I know what he's doing, I just thought he was just chilling in there," Tyler laughed, "I've never seen you feeding him standing up like that before."

"I haven't, this is the first time we tried it," you said, grinning and holding your hands up, swaying side to side just a bit. "I like it."

"Because you can multitask?"

"Yeah, its awesome," you said, going to start making your red and white skewers with the bocconcini and tomatoes, Tyler giggling. "What is he doing?"

"He's giving me the side eye," Tyler said, continuing to laugh.

"Well he probably knows you're home, he can hear your voice," you said, "He's just too busy to say hi right now."

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to be talking to anyone if I had a tit in my mouth either," Tyler grinned, and you shook your head.

"Do you have to make a comment every time I breastfeed him?"

"Mhmm..." Tyler said, leaning around you for a cherry tomato, popping it in his mouth. "You look damn beautiful when you feed him."

"Tyler," you said, looking at his deep, and honest, and loving eyes.

"It's true," Tyler said, smiling at you. "Also, I'm really not mad about the fact that I get to come home and your boobs are out."

"Yeah, that's what I thought," you laughed.

"No, but look at him, he's all cuddled up," Tyler said, grabbing yet another tomato. "I grabbed his lotion, by the way. Has he been okay when I was gone?"

"Yeah, he's just been hanging out with me," you said, "I think I need to get him out of here when he's done eating though, he feels like he's getting warm. Maybe it's like a heat rash?"

"Well, it's probably fine if he's not scratching at it."

"I don't even know if he knows how to scratch himself though."

"I mean, I guess," Tyler said, scratching his head, "I just feel like if he was uncomfortable, he'd be crying."

"Yeah..." you said slowly, looking down, and then back up at Tyler. "He had a bit of a rash after he was born, but it went away. It could be something I'm eating, too."

"Babe, you've eaten the same thing all week," Tyler said, opening the fridge once more and then looking back at you. "We'll just keep an eye on it and if it's still bothering him tomorrow, then we'll call the doctor and see what they say."

"Okay," you said, smiling because he could calm you down, just like that. He knew just what to say, the solidity with which he could make a decision. "Are you hungry? There's lots in the fridge."

"No, I'll wait," Tyler said, giving you a boyish grin. "It looks amazing, though. What do you want me to do to help?"

"Umm..." you said, looking over the kitchen, feeling surprisingly in control. "You could put the plates and glasses and everything outside?"

"I already got that covered," Tyler said, reaching into one of his bags and pulling out paper plates and cups, tossing them onto the kitchen table, Gerry following them with his gaze like he thought for a moment they were a toy. "You want to play?" Tyler asked, bounding like an excited puppy himself, and Gerry repeated the action, jumping up on him, with Tyler laughing. "Hey, you know where the cooler is? I should put the ice and drinks in there."

"How would I know where your cooler is?"

"You know where everything is," he said matter of factly, bending down to pet the dogs, and now you felt like you actually had seen it somewhere.

"Oh, its in the garage," you said, "On the left. I saw it when I was getting the Christmas tree."

"See, I told you you knew where it was," Tyler said, leaning around you from behind, kissing your cheek, and then resting his chin on your shoulder. "Hey, bud, what's up? How was the milk?"

"I think he had too much," you said, grabbing a cloth of the table to wipe his face off around the gummy smile he was giving Tyler.

"Milk drunk, everyday," Tyler said, "you guys need anything before I go grab the cooler?"

"No, I'm just going to- oh," you said, as Bentley just decided that he wanted to latch back on and Tyler started giggling.

"Apparently he's not done yet."

"Yeah, I guess not."

"C'mon, Ger, let's go," Tyler said, Gerry following Tyler to the garage. Although Bentley didn't feed for much longer, leading you to believe he was just restless, fixing the top of your dress and then pulling Bentley out of the baby carrier, settling him on the kitchen table, your hand against the back of his cheek, and then going to unsnap his onesie, grabbing the lotion that Tyler had left on the kitchen table, applying the balm over where his skin was irritated.

"Ummm.... where are your clothes, sir?" Tyler asked, coming back into the kitchen with Gerry at his heels.

"Sometimes you just have to take your clothes off in the kitchen."

"Yeah?" Tyler raised his eyebrows. "So you're into naked cooking, huh?"

"Ummm..." you said, "That sounds...dangerous?"

Tyler laughed, leaning over Bentley. "Yeah, his skin doesn't look like its getting worse.,"

"Does he feel hot though?"

"Babe, he doesn't have a fever, he's smiling while you're giving him a rub down, he's fine."

"No, I know he's fine," you said, "I just meant it's just a bit warm, it's summer."

"Do you want me to go grab the fan from upstairs so we can cool it off a bit in here?"

"Would you?" you asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Tyler laughed, heading upstairs, and you kept Bentley's onesie off, picking him up and walking into the living room to put Bentley in his bouncer, going over to grab the basket of toys for him that you had placed up on the bookshelf, because the dogs were constantly getting them confused with their own toys, unless Bentley actually had it. And, like he knew, Gerry went over to his toy basket, grabbing a toy out of it and squeaking it as he shook it, and Bentley cooed, raising his arm at it.

"Whatcha got?" you asked, bending down to try and grab Gerry's toy. "You got a goose?"

Gerry, however, dodged you, bowing down in front of Bentley and squeaking his toy, Bentley kicking his legs and making little noises, Gerry turning abruptly and then starting to zoom through the house.

"Where'd he go?" you asked, setting a toy down in Bentley's lap, smiling when you heard Tyler yelling at Gerry, Bentley looking up at you in surprise. "Yeah? What's he doing?"

"What is his problem?" Tyler asked, coming back down and setting the fan down, bending down to plug it in.

"Bentley was talking to him and he got really excited, they were playing."

"Yeah?" Tyler asked, "Did you tell him to bring it back? Oh no, you forgot? What are you going to do?"

"He's thinking about it," you said, watching Bentley looking at Tyler, Tyler turning on the fan and then swearing under his breath when it came on way too strongly, Bentley's eyes closing and his hair blowing back, pursing his lips, and you covered your mouth laughing at Bentley's reaction as Tyler struggled to turn it down to a less intense level.

You caught Tyler's eye, who was biting his lip trying not to laugh, leaning over to tickle Bentley's toes. "Is that better?"

"He's like, 'aww yeah'" Tyler laughed, his arms wrapping around you briefly as he passed by you back into the kitchen, where he started dumping ice into the cooler, bending over and shaking his ass back and forth, looking over his shoulder at you.

"What are you doing?" you laughed.

"You're the one looking at it."

"Well, I..." you stumbled, Tyler laughing harder.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he said, shifting his hips back and forth a couple more times before he stopped, finishing what he was doing while you finished up on your skewers, sticking them in the fridge, when you felt flicks of cold water against your arm, flying off Tyler's fingers.

"Babe!"

"Yes, babe?" Tyler grinned, continuity to flick his fingers towards you, laughing.

"Stop it," you laughed.

"No, never," he said, wrapping his arms around you from behind, planting several kisses on your cheek, rocking back and forth with as you looked out into the open living room, where Cash was stretched out in front of Bentley, Gerry on the couch with his toy, while Marshall was still hanging out in the kitchen, probably waiting to see if there would be any more snacks. Bentley looking in your general direction and smiling, repeatedly, kicking his legs as Tyler proceeded to flick more water from the ice onto you.

"It's not funny," you said, shaking your head playfully. "You're supposed to be on Mommy's side."

"No, he knows it," Tyler said, "He's a smart boy."

You moved around each other as you put together a plate of topping for the burgers, like you'd been doing this your whole life. You were adding the powdered sugar in with the cream when Bentley started crying.

"One second, baby," you called, looking over your shoulder to check that he was okay.

"I got him," Tyler said, and a few seconds later you heard Bentley settled, smiling to yourself, Tyler lifting Bentley up to sniff at his diaper, settling him into the curve of his arm, grabbing Bentley's pacifier off the table as he went. "You wanna go see what Mama's doing?"

"Hi," you said softly, "Did you want to come see the cream cheese icing?"

"Mmmm...that looks good, I think I want that for my birthday cake," Tyler said, lifting and lowering Bentley's arm, and then looking at you. "Are one year old's allowed to eat cake?"

"Of course he's getting a cake for his first birthday," you smiled, "Okay, you gonna watch it get mixed?"

You flipped the switch on the stand mixer, turning to grab a spatula from the drawer, and then going to scrape down the sides.

"Can you taste this? I don't want to have dairy until later." you asked Tyler, who just nodded and then opened his mouth wide, and you laughed, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and scooping a bit of icing onto it, holding your hand under it as you brought it to Tyler's mouth, smacking his lips together after he ate it.

"That's bomb, babe."

"Yeah? Does it need anything? Vanilla? Lemon?"

"I need to try it again," Tyler said, opening his mouth once more, and you shook your head, grabbing a clean spoon and scooping up more, "Maybe.. Maybe more vanilla?"

"Are you sure, or are you just guessing?"

"Umm.." he said, his free hand wrapping around your forearm, kissing your hand and then your lips softly.

"A little more vanilla," you agreed.

"Mhmm, that's what I said," Tyler said, and you added a little bit more, icing the cake you'd made yesterday while Tyler walked about with Bentley, shaking a toy for him, you using a toothpick to trace out the Canadian Flag design, grabbing the berries out of the fridge.

"What are you doing?" Tyler laughed, looking over your shoulder. "Are you making the cake red and white, too?"

"It's gonna be a flag," you said, filling in the areas on either side of the pan with rows of raspberries, Tyler giving you an interesting look. "It's Bentley's first Canada Day."

"Yeah," Tyler said, giving you a sly grin. "But you know he can't actually eat any of this, right?"

"I know," you said, "But I love doing stuff like this. And it's the first thing we're hosting together."

Tyler gave you a serious look. "Technically," Tyler clarified, "but you've been saving my ass for years."

"But it's more fun like this."

"Well, duh," Tyler agreed, sticking his tongue out at you. And while this was an annual thing, Tyler had made it clear he wanted things to be low key and a friendly hang-out rather than a party, with only some of your mutual friends and then some of the guys Tyler trained with.

"Everyone knows about us, right?"

0"Mhmm..." Tyler said, and you gave him a serious look, because you didn't want a repeat of when you went to Dallas, only to find out that your pregnancy was a surprise to everyone. "Sometimes the guys go out, they know I'm hanging out with my girl. And this guy."

And even though you loved the way he looked at you both, and having him home for Bentley's bedtime routine you also knew, logically, that you didn't have to spend every free minute together. "Well, you can still go out and do guy's night, you don't have to-"

"There's no such thing as guy's night," Tyler interjected.

"What do you mean there's no such thing as guy's night?"

"There's no such thing as guy's night," Tyler repeated, "there's always girls there. It's not a thing that....well, it should just be a single guy thing."

"What are you talking about? Guys can go out and -" you said, stumbling for your words, Tyler giving you an amused look. "do guy things?"

"Like try and feel someone up?" he asked, laughing before he was even done talking.

"Tyler!" you scolded, and he backed away from you giggling.

"I never said I was doing it, I'm just telling you how it is," he said, "And you're the only girl I want to feel up."

You wanted to yell his name yet again, yet you knew that was the reaction he was hoping for so you refrained. "You say the sweetest things."

"Yeah, I know," Tyler said, his eyes glinting devilishly with a smile. "But, yeah, there's just friends' nights. Which you should always come to."

"It is gonna be nice to hang out," you said, because there was no... weird tension between you anymore, where you could just both be open with your intentions.

"I know," Tyler said sincerely, "but I'm pretty sure everyone would still be happy with regular watermelon slices. They're pretty easy to impress."

"But the cake can be like a tradition," you said, "wouldn't that be so cute if next year he can help put the berries on?"

"Why not this year?" Tyler asked, his hand wrapping around Bentley's and reaching into the container of raspberries, trying to help him pick it up and then put it on the cake, resulting in about a third of the raspberry making it, the rest becoming smashed all over Bentley's hand. "This was a really, really bad idea," Tyler said, holding Bentley's arm and then proceeding to stick Bentley's fingers in his mouth, licking all the raspberry off them.

"That's -"

"A great way to clean food off a baby's fingers?" Tyler said, kissing at Bentley's fingertips, looking rather proud of himself. "Yeah, I know."

You were cut off by a rather gentle knock on the door, followed by barking as the dogs ran towards the entrance, you and Tyler looking at each other and smiling, and then calling in unison to come in, Brooke opening the door slowly as to not hit any of the dogs who were clearly waiting right behind it.

"Get her, guys," Tyler said, all three of the dogs' tails going crazy.

"Hi, hi," Brooke giggled, using her free arm to pet the dogs.

"Hi," you said, leaning over the dogs to hug her.

"I brought macaroni salad."

"That looks awesome," you said, taking it from her so you could put it in the fridge.

"Hey, Brooke," Tyler said, "How are you?"

"Good," she said, hugging Tyler and then smiling at Bentley in Tyler's arms. "Hi, Benny."

"Sorry, he is indecent," Tyler said, using his hand to shield Bentley's nipples. "I told you, dude, it's rude to invite a girl over to your house and just be waiting for her naked when she shows up."

Brooke laughed, tickling Bentley's bare belly. "Oh, that's fine, I don't mind at all."

"Well, that's interesting to know, " Tyler said, his eyebrows raised.

"His skin was irritated I wanted to get some air on it," you said, looking at your phone to see if your mom had texted you back. "My mom said to put breast milk on it."

"Breast milk?" Tyler repeated. "Like, you put it on him, not just drinking it."

"Yeah, it helps with the inflammation and its antimicrobial, it is supposed to help with everything."

"So you want me to hold him up so you can do it?" Tyler asked, "How do you want to do it?"

"How do I want to-" you repeated, and then you started laughing when you realized what he meant. "What, did you think I was just going to squirt it onto him?"

"What? How else are you going to do it?"

"Well, I was going to take some that was in the fridge and put it onto a cloth or something and pat it onto his skin," you said, connecting eyes with Brooke who had her hand over her mouth, and you could tell that she was trying not to laugh too hard.

"Okay, guys," Tyler said seriously, "How am I supposed to know that?"

"Common sense," you said, looking at Brooke who was completely losing it by now, Tyler trying to remain serious, but failing.

"It's okay," you said lovingly, patting Tyler on the cheek. "You can hold him while I put it on him."

You went into the fridge, pulling out some of the breast milk that you seemed to have in both your and Tyler's fridges now, pouring some onto one of Bentley's washcloths, softly dabbing at Bentley's cheeks and on his chest, while Tyler instructed him not to lick himself, and Brooke continued to say hello to the dogs.

"Do you guys need any help?" Brooke asked, standing up from where she was petting the dogs.

"I don't think-" Tyler said, looking at you as if he didn't quite know.

"I just need to finish decorating the cake, everything else is ready, you can help us take stuff out when people start getting here though."

"Of course," Brooke said.

"In the meantime, you can hold this guy though," Tyler said, shifting Bentley over into her arms. "He wants to be around all the action."

You smiled at Brooke grinning at Bentley, bouncing him lightly.

"Are you making a Canada flag?" Brooke asked. "That's so cute."

"Bentley and I did that one," Tyler said, pointing out the broken berry, now blended in with the rest.

"Awe, did you help, Benny?"

"He was a big help," you heard Tyler say, as you continue laying the strawberries in the centre. "Let's see."

"Wha-?" you started turning, only to get Tyler's phone right in your face, jumping back and feeling flustered immediately, like you were live on the internet, Tyler grinning at you from behind the camera, where he knew he was safe. "Let's see," he repeated, laughter in his voice. You tried to move out of the way so he could get closer, but then Tyler prompted you to lift it up and you sighed, tilting it up, Tyler bringing his phone in and then bringing his phone up to his face to watch it.

"You're fine with baby feet, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"But what?"

"But what about me?"

"You're fine," Tyler said, shaking his head as if you were being ridiculous, grinning as he typed on his phone. "I was asking you your opinion about him, not about you."

"Can you not even tell me ahead of time that you're gonna start taking a video?"

"Nope," Tyler grinned, continuing to type on his phone.

"K, well, just don't tag me," you said.

"Why not?"

"Because then I've got so many people I don't know requesting to follow me."

"And you don't like that?" Tyler laughed, even though he full well knew the answer.

"No, I don't," you said, "and I don't like it when you take stories of me without me even having time to get prepared, either.'"

"Well, I wouldn't care if you did that to me," he grinned.

"Yeah, because it's not the same," you laughed.

"Well, if you let me tag you, then you could get more than 200 followers," Tyler grinned, bumping into you.

You rolled your eyes, looking down at Cash who was sitting immediately, looking up at Bentley in Brooke's arms, leaning against the kitchen bar, his tail thumping on the floor, and you bent down, rubbing him behind the ears.

"He's, like, looking right at him," Brooke said.

"Yeah, they're best buds," you said. "You're a good boy, huh, Cash?"

"That's so cute," she said.

"They're all good boys," Tyler said, in an embarrassingly intense baby voice, and you smiled, reaching out to touch Bentley's arm, checking the temperature of his skin.

"Should we go put your Canada Day outfit on?"

"He has a Canada Day outfit?" Tyler asked, looking at you, "Of course he has a Canada Day outfit."

"You want Auntie Brooke to come help you?" you asked Bentley, motioning for Brooke to follow you upstairs to Tyler's bedroom where you'd put Bentley's diaper bag, hearing paws following you as well as Tyler. "You can't come," you said, turning to him.

"Why not?" Tyler asked, pouting.

"Because I want it to be a surprise," you said.

"Oooh..." Tyler said, "is that why you wouldn't let me look in his bag."

"Yes," you laughed, Tyler grinning at you.

"You guys want me to grab you a drink while you're doing that?" Tyler asked, looking from Brooke to you.

"I'll have a caesar," you said, "virgin one."

"Virgin?" Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, no alcohol," you said.

"Yes, I know what you meant, obviously you're not the other type of virgin," he said, smirking, "You can drink though, and I won't."

"No, it's okay," you said, although you thought it was sweet of him to offer. "I just don't feel like it tonight. You can have a drink."

Tyler seemed to look at you, double checking that you were sure, knowing your hang up about wanting at least one of you completely sober with the baby. "Brooke?" He asked. "We have...pretty much everything."

"Ginger ale?" She asked.

"Okay, so one ginger ale and one virgin caesar," Tyler said, leaning down to grab the cooler, "are you at least gonna come help me, Ger?"

"Do you need a hand?" You asked.

"Nope, I got it," Tyler said, hoisting it up easily, whistling for Gerry while the other dogs followed you upstairs, Brooke laying Bentley down on the bed and talking to him while you reaching into the bag, pulling out his onesie his red onesie, which was made to look like a Team Canada Jersey, complete with a print of the little tie lace up.

"Look at this," you said, grinning. You'd almost bought him a onesie just to show off that it was his first Canada Day, like you'd had for his first Easter, but then you'd remembered this, and you couldn't think of anything better.

"Are you gonna play hockey, Benny?" Brooke asked, and you sat down on the bed next to him while she pulled the onesie over his head, Marshall coming to rest his head in your lap, looking up at you with soft eyes, your hand moving to rub his ears. "I can't believe you guys are together now."

"I know," you said, half dreamily, leaning back on the bed you'd spent so many nights last summer, watching your friend dress your baby, and just feeling so happy that he was loved by so many.

"Is it weird dating a professional hockey player?"

"Umm..." you said, considering it, "yes and no."

"What does that even mean?" she laughed.

"I mean, like, it's...like, he's just Tyler. He's my friend, he's still my friend."

"He's your boyfriend," Brooke clarified.

"Well, yeah, my boyfriend," you said, shaking your head. "That's still so weird to say. But, yeah, he's still Tyler. It's just...I don't know, it's kind of weird because he was my friend, and he was...just there all along. And he's still the same guy as when I met him mostly, he's just... I don't know, everything." You knew you were grinning like a maniac, too, just talking about him but you couldn't contain it, no matter how hard you tried.

"Awe," Brooke said, like her heart was melting, and you felt a little silly, like you were in a rom com, but you didn't even know that it could be like this, really.

"He's always been really dedicated and disciplined to hockey, as long as I've known him, I guess this always kind of seemed like his path, although it was surreal, kind of, but I didn't really think I'd ever be dating him, or anyone who does what he does," you said, your voice trailing off as you thought about it. It was kind of a lot, too, now, now that you let yourself actually notice just how attractive he was, and knowing how many other people just wanted to run their hands over his abs, or kiss that swell of his cheek, feeling the prickle from his beard across your lips, inhaling his aftershave, and knowing now that you could do those things whenever you wanted to. "And then I remember that he's got half a million Instagram followers, the whole social media thing- it's a bit much."

"Yeah, it is," she agreed.

"I just don't know if I want Bentley on there," you said, "and I know Tyler loves taking pictures of him, and wants to show him off, but it's just...a lot."

And, like, surprisingly you felt a little less worried about having a baby with Tyler now that you were together, because you weren't thinking about how his future girlfriends would react, or feeling like you had to keep Bentley on the down low, but you also still felt a streak of anxiety running through your body when you thought about the comments that both of them would get.

But it would come out at some point, and you weren't even entirely sure how Tyler wanted to approach this, or if he needed to talk to his manager,and it all just seemed way out of your depth.

"Well, you don't need to decide anything now," Brooke said. "You can post pictures of him whenever you want."

"No, no, I don't," you said, smiling, because all that just floated away when you were with Bentley and Tyler. "It's only been the summer, too, I'm sure things will change when the season starts."

You could still hardly even think about it though, the summer having a way of seeming both impossibly long and impossibly short, looking at Brooke who was finishing up buttoning the bottom of Bentley's onesie now. "I can't believe you're moving to Dallas," you said, still kind of in shock over the whole thing because it had materialized so fast, with her sister planning to move down there for college and then realizing she needed her sister with her, too.

"Me neither," she confessed, "it's ...kinda crazy."

"I think it'll be awesome," you said, "I'm really excited for you."

You knew the feeling well, too, because you'd gone through it last year when you decided you wanted to have a baby on your own, and you'd taken this giant leap of faith and it had been more than you ever could have hoped for.

You wanted that, for her, too.

"I'm excited," she said, "but it's going to be a big change and leaving everyone..."

"I'm sure we'll still see you lots," you said, because you could only imagine you'd be spending more time down there now. "And at least you know people there already."

"Yeah," she said, smiling and tickling Bentley under his chin, now that he was all dressed and ready to go, realizing that you'd been up there for longer than you'd intended, the door of Tyler's bedroom creaking open, Gerry pushing his way in, and you laughed.

"Did he send you up here to look for us?" You laughed, bending over to pet Gerry, his paws wet like he'd been running along the water.

"Someone's impatient to see your outfit," Brooke said to Bentley.

"Grab him, and let's go before he comes up here himself," you said, Brooke leading the way with Bentley and the dogs following behind, you sidestepping to grab the gift you had stashed behind the couch, stepping onto the deck and smiling when you saw that Tyler has stretched a blanket out under the shade of the tree for Bentley, his basket of toys laid out on the perimeter, your drinks waiting on the table.

"Do I need to close my eyes?" Tyler asked, and you could hear the smile in his voice.

"No, it's okay," you laughed, Brooke shifting Bentley in her arms so Tyler could see his outfit, Tyler turning around slowly, and then ducking his head, grinning as he leaned towards Bentley.

"Did you get a Canada jersey, bud?" Tyler asked. "Looks good on you, when'd you get that?"

"I got it at my baby shower," you said, "from one of the girls at work."

"Oh, did they know you were having a baby with a hockey player?"

"Umm..I don't think so," you laughed, "Although I took him in to visit one day, I feel like people know from looking at him, but I think that's just my thing. But everyone there was pretty enamored with you, always asking when you'd come by."

"Oh, really?" Tyler said, "Good thing you're not working this year, everyone would be jealous."

You shook your head at his cocky grin, Tyler gloating briefly, Gerry preoccupied with running around the yard. "We should take a picture of him in the Canada jersey chair," Tyler said, scooping Bentley up from Brooke, easing him into his arms, fixing his onesie as his flip flops clicked across the ground.

"You want to grab one of his blankets, babe?" Tyler asked, nodding towards the blankets laid out over the top of one of the chairs for later, one of Bentley's on top. You smiled, tucking a to the side of where he was going to sit, tucking it around so you could try to prop him up, while still seeing the inside of the chair, Tyler attempting to prop Bentley up, and then moving his hand away slowly, so he didn't tip over. "You might have to hold him up," Tyler said, and you slide your hand in the place where his had been, crouching down while Tyler was backing up with his phone raised in front of him "Make sure we can't see you."

Remaining crouched, you tried to lean away as much as possible. "I can still see you," Tyler said.

"Well, what do you expect me to do?" you asked incredulously.

"Go behind the chair," he said, and you rolled your eyes, pretty sure that he had already gotten a decent picture, Tyler laughing as you crouched down, Bentley trying to look at either you or the dogs. "Lower," he said, laughing even more, until you were just practically laying on the ground, Gerry lunging at you, his tongue flicking out of his mouth and Tyler giggling even louder, peeking through to see that he was done, and then walking around to scoop Bentley up. "Hey guys," you heard Tyler says, following him over to where Danielle and Jeremy were walking around the side of the house, going over to greet them, and then just now noticing the few little miniature Canada day flags on wooden dowels stuck around at various places to edge the yard.

"Did you get flags?" you laughed, especially with his incessant teasing earlier.

"It's his first Canada Day," Tyler said, his arms wrapping around you, pressing a kiss to your cheek and then moving his chin to your shoulder, looking at Bentley, and you turned your head, searching for Tyler's lips until he captured them with his own.

"Gerry, those are Bentley's toys," Tyler said, Gerry running off like he'd only been sniffing around them to try and play, you laying Bentley down on the blanket. "I saved one for you," Tyler said, grabbing the one of the flags, and then leaning down and tickling Bentley's face with it.

"Do you want to try and hold it? And Mommy take a picture?" Tyler asked, trying to fit the wooden dowel into Bentley's fist, encouraging his hand to try and grip it. "He's working on trying to figure out how to hold things right now," Tyler explained to the rest of the group.

"Can you say "Happy Canada Day?" You asked, leaning over him to take his picture with your phone. "Babe, can you make sure he doesn't-?" you said, taking the picture and then reaching towards Bentley when you felt he was about to drop it towards himself, but Tyler grabbed it instead, still crouched down next to Bentley.

"I was watching him," Tyler smiled up at you, because of course he was. "Let's get you something softer to play with."

Tyler tried to give him a toy but Bentley seemed more interested in just looking and wiggling around, Tyler resting his hand on your shoulders as he asked Danielle and Jeremy what they wanted to drink, going off to collect them and then passing them out, his eyebrows raised.

"What's that?" Tyler asked, nodding towards the gift bag on the blanket, a grin on his face.

"You know what it is," you laughed, waiting until Brooke was sitting down, passing it in front of her.

Brooke looked between the two of us, a suspicious look on her face. "That gift bag is huge guys.." She laughed.

"Well, open it," you prompted, grinning at Tyler with a knowing look, because it had been in the works for awhile. "It's from both of us."

"All three of us," Tyler added

"Aww you guys didn't have to get me anything," Brooke smiled, reaching into the gift bag and pulled out the contents, setting the bag next to her.

The look on Brooke's face was priceless, a mixture of shocked and excited. Her eyes were wide open and her jaw dropped as she carefully picked up the large frame.

"We wanted to give you something to remind you of home," you said, "and for your birthday."

"It was my idea to get it framed so you don't wear it in public," Tyler added.

Brooke laughed "Think that might not go well in Dallas?" she jokingly asked Tyler.

"Nope, I'd have to pretend I didn't know you," Tyler said.

"Rude" Brooke laughed and looked back at the framed Leafs Marner jersey that was signed by Mitch Marner himself, who happened to be her favorite player. "I can't believe you got him to sign it! And he wrote me a birthday message," she smiled, bringing it closer to her so she could read it.

"Happy Birthday Brooke! Thanks for all the support you have given the Leafs! Hope to see you at a game soon :) - Mitch"

"There's a card too," you smiled at Brooke.

Brooke reached into the bag and pulled out the birthday card, opening up the envelope and reading it over. "Can't wait to see how this looks in your new place! Happy Belated Birthday Love from y/n, Tyler, Bentley, Marshall, Cash, and Gerry."

"Aww you guys," Brooke smiled at us. Looking down at the ground, she noticed that there was a note that had fallen out of the card. "What's this?" she asked, picking up the note.

Brooke gasped as she started reading it. "Mitch wrote me a separate note too?"

"What's it say?" Tyler asked.

"You don't know?"

"He told me to not read it," Tyler laughed.

"Well it says 'Brooke, I hope you have a great birthday, and I hope your move to Dallas goes well! When the Leafs play the Stars I will invite you to a game, don't forget your jersey!'"

"Awe, that's so sweet," you said, continuing to shake Bentley's toy for him.

"Oh! You should come down to Dallas when the Leafs play, we could all go together," Brooke smiled, leaning forward to tickle Bentley's belly.

"Oh, that would be so fun," you said brightly, "We had talked about doing something like that."

"We had?" Tyler asked, his lips pressed together and you looked at him oddly,

"Yeah, you said we could fly down with you?" you said. "Take Bentley to the aquarium? You mentioned it when I was pregnant."

"Oh, umm, yeah..." Tyler said, running his hand over his face. "Of course you can come whenever you want. You know that."

You thought it was odd, especially that Tyler hadn't made some comment about Bentley having to wear some Stars gear, glancing at Danielle and Brooke, who seemed to have an expression reflecting your own confusion, however, Jeremy was just sitting there much like Tyler was, like absolutely nothing was happening.

You didn't have time to contemplate it, though, because then Tyler was inching his way behind you, resting his legs on either side of yours, and repeating Bentley's babbles back to him, his lips pressing against the back of your head, encouraging you to lean against him.

"Whatcha doing? Are you playing?" You asked him,his big wide eyes staring over at you, looking at his outfit. "He needs his hockey stick, it's here, right?"

"Hmm?" Tyler murmured from behind you. "Yeah, I think it's in his basket of toys, I put everything I brought back from Dallas in there."

You started to lean forward to look for it, but Tyler just made an impatient noise, scooting closer with you, and you couldn't stop your lips from twitching up into a little smile. "I think it's at the bottom, Dani," Tyler said, and you could see her give him a bit of a look, but she couldn't really resist with Bentley being there, even when Tyler started nudging at the basket with his foot. "Can you find my hockey stick for me please, Auntie Danielle?"

"Can you hold it?" You asked him. "Yeah, good job."

"Way to go, little man," Tyler said, leaning around you with his phone to take more pictures of Bentley, the soft foam stick in his hand waving above his body. It was clearly still way too big for him, half on his body, but it was really adorable for pictures, especially because he was so excited, like he always was when he managed to grab a hold of something, even continuing to smile and chat away as the top got too heavy and came down to land on his face. "Oh, you're not supposed to high stick yourself, bud," Tyler said, the stick falling from Bentley's hand onto the blanket underneath him. "Oh yeah, just drop your stick and pretend you had nothing to do with it. The ref'll never know."

"Is that what you do?"

"No, I never get in trouble," Tyler said, "look at this face, its innocent."

"Yeah, right," you laughed

"Shush," Tyler said, leaning around and planting playful kisses on your cheek. "I know all the tricks, he won't be able to get away with anything."

"Well, by the time he's a teenager, you'll be old and out of touch."

"Ouch," Tyler managed to get out between his laughs.

"I'll be old, too," you said.

"Uh-huh, just a little bit younger than me, right?"

"I was just gonna say that!"

"Yeah, I know," Tyler laughed, his fingers intertwined with yours, resting against your leg for a moment while Bentley started making noises like he was annoyed, and then started crying.

"Oh, what's the matter?" You said, reaching for him and picking him up, settling him so he was half sitting up against you, pulling his toys over in front of him when he quieted. "Did you just want to sit up a bit?"

"Nah, he was jealous, he saw us sitting all close, he wanted in on the action, you're happy now, huh?" Tyler said, his thumb sweeping across Bentley's cheek, and then moving down as Bentley stretched his arms out, his hand falling around Tyler's wrist. "You want your stick again?" Tyler asked, trying to hand it to him but Bentley just kept his hand where it was. "Look, we can go like this," Tyler said, moving the stick around a little like he was stick handling, pushing around one of his toys a little because you assumed the stuffed puck it came with was still in the basket, Bentley screeching a little and kicking his legs. "Oh, use your feet, yeah."

You leaned around, looking at Bentley's face, hearing echoes of "awes". "He gets so excited when he does something new."

"He's so proud of himself, that's why," Tyler said, "look, Mommy, I'm learning so many new things. I think hockey's fun."

"I know," you said, your heart swelling with visions of Tyler and Bentley passing the puck round around on the hardwood floor as you make dinner, without a care in the world about scratching the floors up, the dogs chasing after the puck. "That makes mommy a bit nervous though."

"Why?" Tyler asked, half whining like he couldn't wait to skate, half bent over, holding Bentley as if he was wiggling his skates on the ice.

"Because I don't want him to get hurt," you said, your thumb running over Bentley's arm. "I worry about him."

"Do you worry about me when I play hockey?" Tyler asked, his voice soft and sweet.

"Sometimes," you admitted, although if you were being honest with yourself, you were more worried in earlier years when Tyler seemed to not be much bigger than you, but you had recently found your eyes only watching him and his reactions when he was on the ice, like he was the only one you really cared about. "He's just so little though."

Tyler laughed, the movement echoing through you, "Well, he's like three months old, babe, he's going to get bigger," he said, "And probably he should learn to walk first. Which could be really dangerous, too."

"I know, I know," you said, "Honestly I don't think I'll be able to say no to whatever he wants to do. But I'm still going to be nervous about it."

"Yeah, I know," Tyler said, kissing the back of your head, "he's a tough guy though, aren't you? Your brothers get in your face all the time and you hold your own."

You smiled because Cash was still laid out on the edge of Bentley's blanket, Marshall stretched out by your legs on the grass, Gerry sniffing at all the toys that were out, and you felt warm from something other than the early July sun. "Are you taking a picture of us?" Tyler asked, and you looked up to see Brooke looking at you slightly sheepishly, her phone in hand.

"You guys just look so cute," Brooke said. "I had to."

"Well, duh," Tyler said, and you could feel his lips at the back of your head again. "You have to be careful though, couple of hours around this guy and your phone will be full of pictures."

It was true, though, because Tyler was just so....well, Dad-like, that he was constantly taking pictures, especially as Bentley seemed to be developing every more and more facial expressions these days, his personality starting to come out. That being said, though, you didn't have many pictures of just the three of you and you were trying to make it a point to take more, although it was mostly consisting of a selfie of the three of you in the morning in bed together in the morning, when Bentley was all happy and cute, and neither you nor Tyler quite ready to get up yet, the dogs standing over you and waiting for food. Although really what your most favourite thing to do was to keep your eyes closed when you heard Bentley making all those little noises that was signaling in he was waking up before he started crying. You were pretty sure Tyler had caught on to you faking sleep, but he still got up anyways, and you'd have to try and keep the smile from creeping across your lips as the mattress dip as Tyler got back into bed and to help Bentley wake up slowly and comfortably, and you turned over to see him laid across bare chest, his tattooed arm holding the baby in place, the sheet bunched up around Tyler's waist, Bentley's legs tucked underneath.

"You have to send me that," you said to Brooke, now.

"Yeah, well that's why I took it," she smiled back at you, typing away on her phone like she was sending it to you right now. You thought there might be an air of weirdness, as more people showed up. Even though you'd met everyone before, obviously, you'd always just been Tyler's friend from high school or his best friend, and now you were basically just always touching each other in some way, like you were just attached. But it didn't seem awkward at all, and you suspected that maybe everyone else had seen it before you had, although you were also beginning to suspect that Tyler was talking about you more at the gym than you thought. Brooke had gone off to talk to some of her co-workers who had shown up and Jeremy and Danielle were playing with Bentley, who was back laying on his blanket now, flipped over onto his belly. You shared a look with Danielle, who seemed to be looking at Jeremy more than Bentley even, knowing how even more freaking attractive Tyler seemed to you when he was interacting with that baby you'd made.

"Ger," you heard Tyler laugh, his giggle reverberating through you,holding his phone up to capture Gerry, who had somehow grabbed one of the mini flags in his mouth, excitedly running through the yard with it, the flag flapping in the wind. "What did you find, bud?"

You smiled at Gerry, attracting all the attention and loving it, Tyler's arm sweeping around you as he typed on the instastory, a bit of a wave of anxiety rising up as you saw the crazy amount of notifications pop up at the bottom, although Tyler closed Instagram fairly quickly. You didn't want to seem like the overly noisy girlfriend who wareading over his shoulder, trying to focus on petting Marshall, but his phone was right there, closer to you than it was him, and he was swiping through the pictures he'd taken of Bentley earlier, selecting a few.

"I'm just sending them to my mom, don't worry," Tyler said, like he knew what you were thinking. "I'm not posting them."

"No, I know you wouldn't," your hand sliding along his strong forearm.

"Not until you're 100% okay with it," Tyler said, softly, and gently, making you take pause.

"It's not..." you said, trying to formulate your thoughts. "People are just going to say stuff." Although, they probably already were, you just really didn't want to know anything about it.

"They might," Tyler said, "Well, actually they probably will. But it doesn't bother me. But I get that you want to protect him."

"It doesn't bother you?" you asked, turning your head to look at him.

"No," Tyler said, shaking his head, his lips pursed as if he was confused by you thought that he would be. "We talked about this before we decided to get you pregnant, babe."

Yeah, but that was before you were together, when you felt like it would be so much easier for you just to kind of hide away or whatever, and this was just absolutely so out of your depth.

"Oh, hi," you said, Bentley's grunts of effort turning into happier ones as he flipped over onto his back, looking up at you like he was surprised to see you.

"Did you hear us talking about you? Or did you just want to show everyone your new trick?" Tyler asked. "Or are you just being lazy, and you don't want to hold your head up anymore?"

"It's hard work," you said, although you were having more trouble keeping Bentley interested in tummy time now, now that he'd discovered that if he wiggled around just right he could get onto his back. "And he's got kind of a big head, it's heavy to hold up."

"Which is your fault, not mine," Tyler quipped.

"Have you seen yourself as a baby?" you asked, to which Tyler just gave a little "mhmm..", "Tyler, I will text your mother right now and get her to text me a picture of you as a baby."

"Well, you're not allowed to use my phone," Tyler laughed, "And I'm gonna hide yours."

"Oh my god."

"Don't use my mom to get embarrassing stuff on me," Tyler chided, "I don't think she's gonna have any space left for any pictures of me, she wants us to get those ones printed for her."

"Awe."

"She loves being a grandma," Tyler said, and you smiled. You'd known she would, since the moment she'd gotten over the shock of having told her. But you may have loved it even just a little bit more that Tyler loved it so much, too.

"I told you my mom is coming, right?" you asked, because now you couldn't remember, between the combination of all of you just staying up later than you should, "That's still okay, right? She'll probably just stay for dinner because she has to work tomorrow."

"Yes," Tyler said, laughing under his breath like he always did when he thought you were being a little nuts. "We said invite whoever."

"Yeah, I know," you said, "But your mom isn't coming."

"Only because she already had plans," Tyler said, "don't worry, I'll make sure she doesn't go home with anyone."

"Tyler," you laughed, shaking your head a little at the foreign idea of your mom dating or having a companion or.... "that is not what I meant."

"We've got tons of food, of course she should come hang out for dinner," Tyler said, "And I'm sure she wants to come see the baby. Everyone wants to come see you, huh?"

"Well, that's the only reason I came because I heard he was going to be here," a voice said, and you looked behind you to see Michael Del Zotto and you smiled briefly, and then Bentley was crying with his hand now in the grass and you reached down to pick him up, standing up because Gerry was now barking and jumping at you, although Bentley quieted immediately even though you were pretty sure that Gerry's nail had scratched at him, but somehow that wasn't quite as upsetting.

"What's your deal?" Tyler asked, his voice soft, leaning over you to offer Bentley his pacifier, and then his fingers easily sweeping your fallen strap to settle back on your shoulder.

"He's never touched grass before, I don't think he likes it."

"The drama," Tyler said, his thumb sweeping at Bentley's cheek even though you didn't think any tears had actually fallen. "Can you say''hi?"

Michael leaned in and Bentley smiled behind his pacifier, and you had never really been the most social person or who wanted to be the centre of attention and Tyler had, although you thought you'd kept things pretty under wraps at least when you were trying to get pregnant, and then you haven't really seen many people last summer when you were just newly pregnant, and you wondered if Tyler even talked about it with anyone, although you didn't think he had, like no one could even change his mind. "Do you want to hold him?"

"Too heavy for you?" Tyler asked.

"No," you said, passing him over.

"He's getting so big, though," Tyler said.

"He is," you agreed, swiping Bentley's hair out of the way, feeling Tyler's hands sweep soothingly over your shoulders.

"He's cute, you guys."

"Well, have you seen his mom?" Tyler asked, "He just got the good parts of me, and the everything of her."

"No, he looks like you."

"So you think I'm cute?" Tyler asked playfully.

"Yes, I think you're cute."

"Aww, thanks, babe," Tyler said, his arms moving around you even tighter, nuzzling against you, feeling him around you, while looking at your perfectly content baby.

"Are you the reason he's been so happy lately, huh?" Micheal asked, bouncing Bentley slightly.

"Half that baby, half this baby," Tyler said, his lips pressed against the back of your head.

You noticed him take a glance at the various baby paraphernalia throughout the yard. "You've got quite the set-up here."

"Mhmm...." Tyler replied nonchalantly, like this was just part of his life now, like this was the plan the whole time.

And that was the main difference, really, as your mom showed up and Tyler offered her glass of wine and she checked out the remnants of Bentley's rash, which seemed to be fading away which you were very happy to see, was that Tyler was just openly talking to your mom as she mentioned that you had gotten heat rash as a baby your first summer, too, Tyler talking about his own skin and offering to ask his mom if he'd had it too, not like before when he'd seemed like he wasn't quite sure if you'd wanted him to reveal the genetic connection or the whole relationship story about how Bentley had come to be born, just talking to your mom like he'd known the baby was fine,all along, but he trusted your mom's opinion more than he did his own, understanding why you might be worried about it.

"You are not getting a burger, Marshall," you heard Tyler says, clear from across the yard, the cutting board laid across his arm, Marshall trailing after him to the barbecue, after Tyler had insisted that he didn't need your help, and that you could just stay and hang out with the baby, Tyler shooting you little grin as he walked across the deck.

"They might be ready for dinner, babe, do you want me to-"

"I just fed him, babe," Tyler said, and you could see now that he was setting out bowls for the other dogs, somehow managing to juggle it all with now issue, continuing before you could open your mouth to speak again. "And no, he's not still hungry, I know you were giving them snacks while I was gone."

"They were being good!" You said, thankful that they'd been patient, Tyler smiling at you like he wasn't swayed by their soft brown eyes either, Bentley hearing Tyler tell Marshall to leave the other dog's food alone, to go get mom, and you called for him, Marshall trotting over and pushing his way through your extended arm, flopping onto his back and stretching his legs out, rubbing his back against the grass.

"What are you doing?" Your mom asked, briefly taking her hand off of Bentley's belly to scratch Marshall's. You smiled, running your fingers along his side and then to Cash's. "Go find Daddy, he's got food for you guys," you said, noticing your mom just giving you a little look, "What?" you asked.

"Nothing," she said, innocently enough, a hint of a smile on her face, Marshall's head settling in her lap, her hand moving easily over her head. "You're so sweet, aren't you?"

"He's sensitive," you said, because you were pretty sure that Marshall had known something was up with you last year before Tyler ever did, when you felt so confused and overwhelmed, and like everything was moving way too fast, sitting with him before you realized that Tyler would do anything to slow the world down for you.

"You look happier than I've ever seen you," your mom said, quietly, and you looked up at her, not even crying even though you still felt so damn emotional all the time, grinning just like Bentley did.

"Are you?" you asked, softly, because you realized that you'd feel a little lost without your baby, especially when she'd gotten through it with just you, when you'd really always had Tyler to rest his hands on your shoulders, to steady you when you weren't quite sure if you were doing the right thing.

"Happy?" she asked, and you nodded, quietly, her face breaking out in a soft but genuine smile. "Yeah, being a Grandma is the best. This guy is pretty special."

"He is," you smiled.

"Don't look at me like that, Mom," your sister said, "I don't care how happy it makes you, it's going to be a long, long time before I give you a grandbaby."

"I didn't say anything," your mom said in innocence, "Although I wouldn't complain..."

"We talked about having more. Not like right now, but.." you confessed, because you didn't know if you ever would, really, kind of loving the way your mom's eyes lit up and she mouthed the word "really?" and you nodded, your eyes drifting over to where Tyler was, finding his eyes looking towards you, not able to hide his smile.

"I think he misses you," Nicole said, "He keeps looking over here."

"Does he?"

"Mhmm, with straight heart eyes," your sister grinned, and you were pretty positive that Tyler had won her over, too. "You should go see him."

You looked at your mom, and then down at Bentley, who was happily batting at his toys, moving his hand by his mouth, to the point where you wondered if he was trying to put his hand in his mouth. "He'll be fine hanging out with Grandma," she said, barely taking her eyes off the baby, and you stood up, moving barefoot across the lawn, where group seemed congregated around the barbecue. Tyler was trying to tone down his eagerness at seeing you, you could tell, a smile spreading across his face as you stepped in behind him, your arms moving around his broad back, pressing you cheek against the cotton of his shirt. "Hey," he said softly, turning his lips to meet yours, the hand that didn't have the spatula in it weaving into yours.

"Hey," you responded back,everyone else kind of floating away, looking back to where your mom was with Bentley. "So I think maybe after we get back from the mountains we should drop Bentley off at my mom's house for a couple of hours? I think she'd really enjoy it."

"Yeah, yeah, we could do that," Tyler responded, turning his head to look into the yard, "And Marshall and Cash, too?"

You turned your head now, too, seeing that Marshall still had his head in your mom's lap, Cash stretched out half on the Bentley's blanket again. "Maybe, yeah," you laughed.

"I don't know what we would do with no dogs and no babies, though," Tyler said, his voice teasing. "I'm sure we could find somethin'"

You were contemplating this, because you hadn't really been apart from him after he'd been sick other than leaving him with Tyler for less than an hour while you went to the store, when Tyler swore under his breath, hurriedly moving to flip the burgers while you tried to step back, but Tyler's hand held you in place. "No, you're good, babe, I didn't burn anything," he said. "I'm really, really good at doing things with only one hand now."

"Oh, are you?"

"Mhmm..." he responded, pecking at your cheek playfully and openly, a wide smile coming across your cheeks.

"So, I guess we can do the double date thing, now?" Jeremy asked, and you laughed against Tyler, because it had been evident to Jeremy that you are Tyler were meant to be a thing before you had even gotten there, even though you hadn't really met him much.

"Not yet," Tyler said, and you pulled your head back a little in shock, because while he was super protective of the women in his life, you thought that he liked Jeremy. "I haven't gotten to take her out on a date yet."

"Yes, you have," you relented, feeling Tyler's face turn to question. "We went to the movies and the barre class, and we've gone out for milkshakes."

"Those were not really real dates."

"What is a real date, then?" you laughed.

"Mmm...like we plan ahead, I ask you out, maybe surprise you a little bit, something more special."

"You made me a picnic in Dallas, that was special."

"That was adorable," Danielle agreed, Tyler grinning proudly. "She was giddy, like, 'Tyler did the cutest thing for me, and he said it was the dogs, which made it even cuter.""

"So you knew that was me, not the dogs?" he asked, and you laughed a little, like he was ridiculous. "Woman, I was sending you out signals left and right, I didn't think you were picking up on anything."

"I didn't know, I didn't -!" you should your head, looking at him.

"Yeah, I know," Tyler said, smiling at you, his eyes a little glassy, because it had hurt, like a lot. But you'd do it all over again. "Perfect timing and things have a funny way of working themselves out and all that shit, right?"

You smiled with a nod, which turned into a laugh when Danielle said, "It could have been a little bit sooner, if you're asking me."

"Maybe a little," Tyler agreed. "But I don't think either of us is going to be that dumb again. Anyways, like dating your best friend is awesome, but we kinda skipped over the whole dating part. And I want to take you on a real date, like nice dinner, get dressed up a bit. Bentley can third wheel, but that's it."

"Well, we can do that when we go away."

"I know, that was my plan," Tyler said, smiling at you teasing, "Don't ruin this for me, let me have my moment."

"Okay," you smiled, sliding in next to him, because you could see he wanted this, even though he already made you feel special every day, Tyler's hand moving around your side, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"You guys are going away?"

"Mhmm...next week," Tyler said. "My idea, too."

"Don't you think that's a bit soon?" Danielle asked, flashing a grin your way. "I mean, you've only been together for a couple of weeks..."

"Shut up, Danielle," Tyler replied easily, and you had to laugh, because you were pretty sure this would be something that you would kinda always be teased about.

"No, that'll be awesome, though," she said, "where are you guys going?"

You opened your mouth to respond, but Tyler spoke over you. "We'll tell all about it when we get back," he said, and you barked out a laugh.

"What? You don't want her to know where we're going?"

"It's so we can have alone time, no phones, no work, no friends, no nothing," Tyler said, and then looked back at Danielle, "I'm sorry, but I waited a long time for this, I'm going to be selfish for a bit."

You laughed at his pettiness. "She's not gonna follow us up there," you said, looking at Danielle, looking forward to it because while you'd felt totally relaxed after your trip to Dallas, Tyler had also been working, and you honestly were just really excited to actually have a real family vacation and make memories that Bentley wouldn't remember, but you would. "We're going to Quebec."

"Shh..." Tyler said, grinning against you and then kissing you all over your cheek, like he knew that would get you to shut up, Danielle just shaking her head and laughing. You wondered a bit if Tyler might try to be on his best behavior with your mom being there, like he wanted to impress her, because he offered to get your plate for you while you put yours together for your mom, because Bentley was all cuddled up on her chest, his eyes sleepy, and you knew that she was soaking up the moment. But, then again, Tyler would probably offer to do it for you anyways, pulling your chair out for you before you sit down like he'd been doing it his whole life.

"Is he sleeping?" Tyler asked, leaning around you, peeking at Bentley's cheek, pressed against your mom's shoulder.

"Yeah," she whispered, her free hand running over his head and his back.

"Kid falls asleep anywhere," Tyler said, and you laughed under your breath.

"Like you," you said, because it wasn't common for the both of them to nod off on the couch on you after you evening although Tyler typically just dozing on and off.

"I've still never fallen asleep at a hockey game," he said, smiling at you like it was a secret only you knew.

"Yet."

You mostly got lost in the conversation, the occasional dog paw on your foot, Marshall's nose sniffing at Bentley's bare foot, and then resting his head in your mom's lap, and you caught her eye, trying not to smile as snuck him a piece of meat. You noticed Tyler looking at you, but then Gerry started barking, chasing a squirrel as it ran up the tree, and then Tyler was trying not to laugh. "Shh, Ger, the baby's sleeping," he said, although Bentley just shifted a little in his sleep and then settled himself with a little sigh. "Where's Marshall?"

"He's just sleeping under the table," you said, nudging Marshall's body with your knee to try and encourage him to lie down, using your fork to scoop up a bit of the cheese and tomato, pulling it towards Tyler's mouth, him considering it as he chewed.

"That's damn good," he said.

"I know," you said, nodding confidentially, "I told you."

"You know I love your cooking," he grinned, and then lighter, "C'mhere, Marsh."

You felt Marshall shift under the table, his head coming to rest in Tyler's lap now, and you bit your lip, looking away because Marshall was still licking his lips, even as Tyler petted him. "Did Mommy give you a treat or was that Grandma?" Tyler asked. "It was Grandma, wasn't it? You're spoiled."

You couldn't say you were too surprised when Marshall, Cash, and Gerry trailed after you and Tyler when you walked your mom out to her car, although you were a little surprised by Tyler offering to pack her up a slice of cake to take home with her, since she didn't want to get home too late as she had to work tomorrow, carefully transferring Bentley back into your arms as she said goodbye.

"Oh, you're awake now," Tyler said, clearly to Bentley, picking his little hand up and waving it, "Say 'bye-bye, grandma.'"

You smiled at the way she ducked her head, waving back as she backed out of the driveway, watching her until you couldn't hear the sound of wheels against the gravel any longer, turning to Tyler and smiling and Bentley gurgled, kissing each other for no reason and all, even while Gerry was running circles around your feet. "You guys want to play?" Tyler asked, Gerry running off ahead of you like he was trying to show you the way, turning to walk back into the backyard with Tyler.

"Oh," Tyler said, Bentley's hand reaching out towards his, Tyler sliding his finger into Bentley's grip. "I was gonna hold your mom's hand. You want to hold my hand and then you can hold her hand? That's a good plan."

You laughed as Tyler kissed at Bentley's side until he smiled. "He's being so good today."

"He's always good," Tyler said, even though he most definitely had the capacity to be grumpy, and you were still trying to figure out how to deal with that on those days like today where you actually had plans for most of the day. Everyone else seemed to be hanging out around the water, so you turned Bentley around so he could face out, tucking your arm under his legs as you walked along the edge of the water, where it was shallow and warmer against your feet, rocking with Bentley back and forth to the music that was playing in the background.

"Do you see the puppies swimming?" you asked him, because while it wasn't unusual for you to spend the evening out here on the dock with Tyler and the pups, it hadn't gotten quite warm enough until recently for the dogs to go in and actually swim, rather than just playing along the shore.

"One puppy swimming," Tyler clarified, "Two puppies standing in the water doing nothing."

"Two dogs standing," you clarified Bentley smiling at Marshall's tail wagging, and you laughed at the weird dancing head bob thing that Tyler was doing.

"He likes it," Tyler said, as if he could read your mind, but really all you could think about was just how peaceful this was, even as Tyler bent over and made you smack his bum as he shook it back and forth, trying like hell to remember st summer. You usually spent it at Tyler's place, except for a summer or two when you'd been in the states with him, and then that one summer after you graduated when you'd been in Europe. But you hadn't ever remember feeling quite so content at parties like this, and now you were wondering if a part of you had wanted Tyler by your side all the time then.

"What did I do for Canada Day last year?" you asked.

"Uh, we had some people over here," Tyler said, frowning, his hand pulling a stick through the water, teasing Cash, shooting you a cheeky grin. "You and I worked on the whole trying to get you pregnant thing."

"Tyler!" you scolded with a whisper, because there were people all around you, and you weren't one for talking about your sex life publicly especially when you and Tyler had been a thing and yet not a thing last year, but he just laughed at you. And you thought he was lying, but now you could vaguely remember being in his bed, the sound of fireworks echoing around you, and then you'd woken up the next morning with your period, feeling quietly discouraged and sore, crawling back into bed with him and being thankful that you didn't bleed on his sheets, but hehel'd come home from the gym that afternoon to find you sitting in the backyard with the dogs, offering you a cupcake and a kiss on the temple without saying a word, just because he'd seen the tampon wrapper in the garbage can.

"What?" he laughed, "You asked the question. We had to work on the baby making so we could make this baby."

You opened your mouth and rhethen closed iagainai and Tyler just laughed at how flustered you were, trying to regain your focus by rocking back and forth with Bentley a little, Tyler grinning at you, and then looking at Bentley. "What's up, little man, what's up?"

He made a little delighted noise that you didn't think you'd ever heard from him before when Gerry ran through the water in front of him. "What's he doing?"

"You guys might have a lot of trouble keeping him out of the lake next year," Danielle said, and the thought of him being able to walk and run around just seemed crazy, but Tyler was looking at you like he couldn't quite wait for that, visions of letting him float around on a day like today to cool off, and then taking a nap curled up in a blanket under the shade of the tree.

"Does that sound fun?" you asked Bentley now, "Do you want to try and put your feet in? You haven't done that before. Do you think it's too cold?" You asked Tyler who just kind of quirked his lips, and then shrugged.

"Just stick his toes in right here and see what he does," Tyler said, "The worst that's gonna happen is he gets mad, and we know how to make him happy."

Marshall and Cash were now looking up at you expectantly, and probably you should have tried this before the sun was going down, but now you couldn't wait to see how he would react, your hands moving up to wrap around Bentley's chest, crouching down with him, Tyler leaning forward to fix the leg of his onesie where it was bunching up around his diaper, lowering the tops of his toes until the waves started sweeping over them, scoffing when Marshall barked for no reason. Bentley wasn't making too much noise, though, so you didn't have an indication of whether he liked it or not.

"What do you think?" You asked him, looking at Tyler who leaning down in front of him, making faces. "Does he seem okay?"

"He's thinking about it, he's a little bit like 'what are you doing to me, mom?'" Tyler said, scooping a bit of water over the tops of his feet. "You don't hate it. I think we need to take you swimming at Grandma Jackie's house, see what you think about that."

"Oh, that would be fun," you said, looking at Tyler, and kind of wanting summer to never end, sweeping Bentley's feet through the water.

"You want me to take him so you can see his face?" Tyler asked, and you nodded, easily transferring Bentley over, Tyler holding him easily with one hand splayed practically Bentley's entire body, and suddenly you couldn't think about anything other than how large Tyler's hands were, which was just....not something you should be thinking about right now.

"Good job, you're such a summer baby," you said, when Bentley's feet went back in the water without him even crying, smiling enthusiastically, running your thumb over his chubby cheek, leaning down in front of him, "There's a little smile, I love you."

"I love you, too," Tyler responded, even though you clearly were not talking to him, pressing his head next to Bentley's, "My smiling is almost as cute as his."

"Almost," you agreed, pinching your fingers together to show he was close.

"What's that weird thing you're doing with your legs, bud?" Tyler asked, Bentley starting to make that noise he did before he started to cry, Tyler pulling him out of the water and back to his chest. "Does that mean you're all done?"

"It might be a bit too cold for him," you said, reaching out to touch his feet to decide if you needed to put socks on him.

"It's not cold," Tyler said, even as he was drying Bentley's feet off with the bottom of his shirt.

"I'll go grab a towel," you said.

"Nah, it's fine," Tyler said, and his feet did actually look dry, but why Tyler always seemed to use his shirt rather than the many actual clothes you had to wipe the baby, you didn't quite know. "Say 'It's not too cold for me, Mom, I'm just taking a little breather and then I'm gonna go for a little swim."

You were about to say that you didn't think that was a good idea, because you didn't want to deal with an upset baby, especially not when you were entertaining, but Tyler just switched Bentley so he was laying down, Tyler's hands underneath him, rocking him towards the water like he was going to throw him in and then pulling him back, making this "aboo" noise as he did so, Bentley looking up at Tyler. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna throw you in the lake," Tyler said, kissing Bentley's belly. "Not until you're, what? Three? Four?"

He looked at you, and you noticed immediately the devilish look in his eye, the way his lips were starting to curl up at the sides.

"No," you said, already taking a step away from him.

"Yeah," he insisted with a whisper, nodding his head, looking behind him for someone to take the baby. "Hey, Brooke, can you hold Bentley for a sec?"

"No, Brooke, do not take him," you said, but it was too late, because she was half holding him, looking up at you slightly confused because she clearly didn't know what Tyler was plotting, reaching towards your hands which you pulled away, turning and trying to get out of the water.

"Babe, c'mhere," Tyler said, and you let out a way too girlish scream, Tyler laughing at you , feeling his hands against the side of your dress, taking off across the grass and running like you hadn't in forever, feeling light, but Tyler seemed to be taking it seriously, pumping his arms as he came after you, his arms moving hard around your waist, pulling your feet up off the ground easily, and you shifted, knocking him off balance and sending both of you tumbling onto the grass. Which, you thought would be the end of it, but that seemed to only give him an opportunity to slide his arms under you, picking you up like he was holding Bentley only a moment earlier.

"Tyler," you repeated, trying hard not to laugh, to sound stern, his knee coming up to steady your body when he stepped on the dock. "Stop."

"I'm not doing anything, just walking," he mumbled, walking down to the end of the dock where he turned to the side, turning sideways and then rocking you back and forth like he was about to throw you in. Your hand, which had been held around his neck moved down, gripping his shirt hard in your hand. "Let go of my shirt."

"No," you laughed, "Because you're gonna throw me in."

"I would never," he said, although he was trying hard now to pry your fingers off the fabric, going so far as to duck his head down and try to nudge your hand away with his face.

"Be nice," you said, although he was kissing and nuzzling at your face, your stomach contracting to try and not show your laughter.

"You're so wiggly," he said.

"Because I'm trying to get you to put me down!" you laughed.

"Oh," Tyler said, and you were so distracted by the way he gently let you slide down his body until your tiptoes reached the wood of your dock, his arm wrapped around your back as if he was trying to steady you and stop you from losing your balance and falling in, melting into his gaze against you that you realized his arm was moving out from behind you too late, reacting to his push against you with a squeal, gripping onto him with a last-ditch effort to at least pull him in with you. You were pretty sure he could have stayed on dry land for sure, and but you heard him let out a little scream as he jumped in after you, hearing the dogs barking even under the water. You couldn't be mad, though, even though you'd actually done something with your hair today for once, and you were pretty sure your light makeup was gone the moment you hit the water, not when you and Tyler seemed to surface at the same time, looking for each other, his toes gripping yours over the bottom of the lake, your lips pressing together in a smile, shutting your eyes together when Gerry ran off the dock and jumped in next to you, or the way he reached for your hand, helping you out of the water, his hand steady on your hip.

You realized that he'd made a bit of a scene, but Tyler was really only looking at you, shaking his head to get the water out of his hair, Gerry doing the same thing so they were both fluffy.

"What happened?" Brooke asked Bentley. "Mommy's all wet."

"Yeah, Mommy's silly," Tyler said , "She went swimming with her clothes on."

"Not by choice," you clarified, feeling Tyler moving around you from behind, "I didn't even pack extra clothes for me."

"You've got to have something here," Tyler said, even though you weren't entirely sure, because you hadn't been spending the nights here anymore, and you were pretty sure that everything you had in his closet was from your pre-pregnancy days. "C'mon, I'll find you something."

You checked that Brooke was okay with Bentley for a couple minutes, walking back to the house with Tyler half wrapped around your back. "You didn't have your phone in your pocket, did you?" he asked, patting at the sides of your dress, and then over your hips, sticking his hand down the top of your dress as if he was actually looking for something.

"Stop," you laughed, "It's on the table."

"I know, I checked," Tyler said proudly.

"So thoughtful of you," you said sarcastically.

"Not gonna lie, I would have just thrown you in with it anyways and got you a new one," he said, "Could you try not to get my floor wet thought, please?"

"You are such a jerk," you said, pushing at him as he laughed, Tyler catching your arm and pulling you into him.

"Mmm, you're so cute with your hair all wet," he said, a thumb sweeping across your cheek like you had a drop of water there, leaning in to press his lips softly against yours. Although, you had to admit that he too, hair wet and hanging in his face, like it always did after a shower, no matter how much he tried to push it out of his eyes.

Your hair required a lot more work that his, though, which was why you were in his ensuite bathroom, a towel wrapped around your body, trying to squeeze as much water out of your hair as possible before you pulled it back, because you didn't think Bentley would like getting a face full of wet hair when you were holding him.

"Oh," you said, when Tyler opened the door, clothes hanging from his hand. "You're not wearing any clothes."

"Well, neither are you," he scoffed, eyebrow raised up at your towel, although you were actually covered, although by now your brain had finally caught up to the reality, although you were still more used to him at least wearing shorts, it was you who seemed to be more in the various states of undress.

"I'm still not used to this whole not being just friends thing."

"Mmm..we're still friends, though," Tyler said, leaning in to kiss your bare shoulder, "It's kinda awesome to just be able to kiss you in public though, with people we actually know around."

"It is," you agreed, leaning over to kiss his actual lips, done with your feeble attempts to actual dry your hair, looking through his bathroom drawer for a scrunchie or hair tie, or anything to pull your hair back, and Tyler reached around you, feeling at the back of the drawer and pulling out a collection of hair things, including a clip that you accused your sister of borrowing and never giving back, pulling your hair back into some attempt at some type of bun, that you'd definitely have to fix, but it was worth it just to see his look of concentration in the mirror.

"I found you some tights and like a stretchy skirt," Tyler said, nodding towards the pile of clothes that he'd placed on the bathroom counter, a soft bra and boy shorts and a thong on top, which you weren't entirely sure when you would have left it here, but it was definitely yours and definitely clean. "And I just grabbed you one of my shirts cause I'd figured you'd want to be comfy."

"Do you have another shirt I can have?"

"What? You don't want to wear something that has Dallas on it?"

"No," you laughed, "Bentley's gonna want to eat soon, it's too hard to feed him with a t-shirt."

"Oh," Tyler said, "Well there's button-ups and zip-ups and stuff that would be easy to get your boobs out of. Unless they're still all at your house."

"I gave them back!" you laughed. "You've been wearing them."

"Yeah, but now you're actually my girlfriend which means you're going to steal them all back again," he said, grinning like he liked this idea, and, yet, neither of you moved to look for them or get dressed, Tyler's head resting on your shoulder, eyes connecting with yours in the mirror. "Is it bad that there's all those people out there and I'd kinda just rather hang out here with you?"

You smiled in the mirror. "We can stay in here for just a minute," you said, turning to face him, his sheepish little grin right there, your lips meeting, and you didn't think you could ever remember wanting to just kiss a boy as much as you did him, Tyler's eyes darting to where your dress and bra were hanging in the shower.

"You're not mad at me, are you?" he asked, and you shook your head, your lips still pressed together.

"I'm gonna get you back, though," you said.

"You won't," Tyler said confidently, this time his hand going to grip around the back of your head, leaning into you as you kissed, and you didn't quite know where to put your hands without this getting inappropriate, settling for trying to maintain grip on the bathroom counter behind you, but you failed fast, your hand moving to his chest and over his collarbone, pushing up onto your tiptoes to get closer, your hand moving to the nape of his neck to pull him to you. He seemed to take this as an invitation though, maybe, because then his lips were at your neck, soft but sinking into your skin and you could feel his breath change against you.

"Tyler," you said, your hand moving back over his shoulder now, like you were trying to maintain distance between your bodies. "We can't."

"Can't what?" he asked, his hands moving to rest on your hips, like he was actually oblivious.

"You know," you said.

"Well, why not?" Tyler asked, half-whiny, and yet his hands felt persistent, his eyes soft.

"Because we're supposed to be hosting."

"We did, we cooked," Tyler said, "Everybody's cool, they won't notice if we're gone for a little bit."

"We have a baby," you said, clearly, trying to look into his eyes so you could attempt to focus on anything other than your bodies being drawn together. Because, well, Tyler hit on you a damn awful lot, but when Bentley was awake it was merely playful, both of your touches being kept PG. Or maybe PG-13.

"Yeah, exactly," Tyler said, as if it was this simple. "Brooke said she's got him."

"For like five minutes while we get changed," you said.

"I can work fast," Tyler said, eyebrows raised, kissing into you, lips soft and deliberate, your hand immediately moving to the side of his torso, trying like hell to form words or at least make a noise, but it came out like more of a moan, but Tyler reluctantly disconnected his lips from yours, his hand sliding over yours where it was held against your body, looking down at you, a little smile splayed across his face.

"It's not that I don't want to," you clarified, your hand falling into his, "I just.." you said, your head nodding towards the backyard.

"You just what?"

"I just don't want to be rude," you said, your eyes moving back and forth, trying to process everything.

"No one's gonna think you're rude," Tyler said, "The kid's just off chilling, making new friends, everyone's gonna be fine if we hang out in here for a few minutes."

He was crowding into you as he spoke, although you didn't think he meant to, lips brushing against yours, once and then twice, a sigh moving from him and into you when your top lip caught over his bottom one, Tyler's lips ghosting along your jawline, and then back to your neck, hot against your ear lobe, and you became aware of the way his bare leg was slotting between yours, feeling somehow like you could move him around however you wanted, despite the fact that he so solid around you. "Okay, if you just want to hang out for a minute, you really, really, really need to go back into that bedroom and put some clothes on.

"Really?" you joked, surprising yourself at the way that you actually sounded like you had it together, despite the steady throbbing between your legs, and Tyler just tilted his head at you.

"Look, I'm sorry, but the minute we're alone and don't have to try and figure out how long he's gonna sleep for, I'm gonna just... want to do stuff to you," Tyler said, and then tilted his head in question. "Which maybe isn't the right way to say that but -"

"No," you said, standing up straight now, no longer leaning against the counter.

"No?" Tyler asked, and you just shook your head.

"No, I'm not gonna put my clothes on," you said. And probably you should have paused for a moment, for dramatic effect, to build the anticipation, but you couldn't, not with the way he looked at you like nothing else existed, your hand gripping the back of his head, pulling him into you so forcefully that your teeth bumped, just for a moment, before you got your footing, lips, falling easily into the way your lips pulled against each other, familiar and yet leaving you wanting more. Always. Tyler's hand moved to your hip, bunching with the towel that was still wrapped around you, although you could feel the knot coming loose around your chest, suddenly wanting it off as the chill you felt was replaced with a deep heat.

"Yeah?" he asked, breathless against you and barely a question.

"Yeah, we've...we've got enough time?" you said, because now you couldn't even figure out how long you had even ever been in here for.

"Probably got like twenty minutes before he wants to eat," Tyler said, his arm cradling your head, leaning over into you, lips on yours. "Since he hasn't been awake for too long."

You expected him to pull back to get that towel off your body, wanting to watch it fall off you, but instead his hands just pushed it away, his skin against yours, lips never breaking from yours, breathing into you, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you up towards him and then onto the counter, your heartbeat speeding up at the way that he was just able to move you around like you were nothing, and you knew that you could just as easily grip onto his arm and move it anywhere you wanted it, even though you could feel his muscles flexing under your small hand.

His hands were soft now though, cupping your jaw as you kissed, much more slowly and leisurely than you should be when you were supposed to be having a quick hook-up, letting out a shudder for some reason when his finger just brushed the side of your neck, every part of your skin feeling so sensitive.

"Mmm.." Tyler moaned against you, his kisses getting kind of sloppy, even though you knew for certain that he hadn't had that much to drink, lips falling the corner of your mouth before he reluctantly broke away, shooting you a little look as his lips met your shoulder, sliding over your collarbone with a dark of his tongue, dropping down your body and between your breasts, looking up at you with dark eyes. "Best view ever," he muttered, against your skin, and you lost the ability to think, your hand going to your own shoulder for anything to hold onto as he continuing his descent, lips plush against your belly and across the soft swell over your hip, followed by a scrape of his teeth as he started sucking at the skin there, your legs falling open without even realizing it other than you could feel the handle from the cabinet pressing hard into your thigh but you didn't care, your chest rising and falling as he reached for your hand, pulling it into his as he lowered himself onto his knees before you, moving your hand onto his shoulder, and then hooking his hand behind your knee, kissing his way up your inner thigh, stopping to nibble at your flesh.

"Tyler," you said, your voice coming out breathless, at the way he just made you lose your mind all at once, to the point where you couldn't even think which would normally freak you out but you didn't even care with him, although maybe you'd like to eventually get your head together, one of these times, so you could take care of him.

"Say that again," he said against your skin, his breath warm over your centre, so close, and yet you already felt like you were going to fall apart.

"Tyler?" you repeated, unsure of what he wanted you to say.

"Yeah, babe," he encouraged, kissing into your cunt like he had been your mouth, the stubble from his beard scratching between your legs but his lips curving around your clit, sucking it into his mouth, moving against you.

"God, Tyler," you said, your head moving back like you were trying to make more room for him or get a better view, and he hummed in appreciation against you, sending shockwaves throughout your body,hearing nothing other than the sound of his mouth against you, his tongue circling around your entrance, your legs shaking as your walls throbbed, wanting more. Your hand reached forward, threading through his hair, repeating his name with an unintentional tug on his hair, because suddenly you wanted nothing more than to feel him against all of you, even though your hips and legs seemed more attracted to his mouth at the moment.

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me," you said, a bit desperately, and Tyler pulled back, lips plump and red, circles of pink on his cheek, which would have been cute had you been in the mindset to process him being how adorable he could be.

"I am kissing you," Tyler said, a quick smirk before he gripped your thighs again, returning his face to its place between your legs.

"I meant...oh god..." you said, his lips and tongue moving against your clit, your hips seeking more. "I meant up here."

You weren't entirely sure if he'd heard you, the way your voice was so breathless and he kept moving against you, large hands holding you in place, finally breaking away. "You sure?" he asked, laughing under your breath, and you nodded needingly, reaching out for him, although he really didn't use you to help him up, catching you with an open mouth kiss, his skin hot against yours, finally feeling him hard against you. You held him steady with one hand clasped around his neck, the other breaking to trace over his abs, wrapping your hand around his cock, Tyler inhaling with his mouth still over yours.

"Baby, fuck..." he said, his head dropping into junction against his neck, although he continuing to make an attempt to move his lips against your skin, pressing into your touch. "You're gonna kill me," he said, like he hadn't just been kneeling on the tile floor going down on you.

"Want you inside me," you said, and Tyler made a pleading noise like he agreed, his hands frantically moving at your sides, slipping a finger between your lips and inside you and you shifted, because it still wasn't enough. "Should we....we should go to the bedroom."

Tyler panted hard, his finger still half inside you, resting his forehead against yours, and you weren't sure if it was sweat you felt against your forehead or water still dripping from his hair, but either way it was hot. "If I get you up into that bed, I don't think I'm gonna be able to leave," he admitted, and then lifted his head up slightly like he just remembered something. "But we can -"

"No, no, I'm fine," you replied, honestly, shifting on the counter. Honestly, you felt better about it, because you wouldn't be as worried about someone overhearing you this way. "I was just thinking about you."

Tyler's eyes were dark for a second, his lips quirking up. "I'll fuck you anywhere," he said, lips in your neck, "Bathroom counter...kitchen counter, floor, the bed, the couch....wherever you want."

He seemed intoxicated by the idea, getting frantic with his touch, his damn hips still not hitting into yours like you wanted.

"Please," you said, your hand grasping his bicep, trying to get his attention.

"Mmm..." Tyler said, kissing your lips quickly, stepping back. "One sec."

"Where are you-?" you said, looking at him, your hand still attached to his arm, thinking that maybe he was going to lock the bedroom door, when all you wanted him to do was just lock the bathroom door, because then you wouldn't have to not touch him.

"Grabbing the lube, baby," Tyler said and you let out a crazy laugh, your body so loose already.

"You brought it with you?" you said, although it came out like more of a declaration than a question, because it seemed so absurd to you, Tyler scrunching up his face.

"No, I didn't bring it with me," he said, laughing at you. "it's in my nightstand drawer. Like, for us, 'cause we're here a lot, and like in case you wanted to have sex while we're here."

You laughed again't, because somehow he just made this whole postpartum intimacy thing easier and because he had his head tilted sideways even as his hands ran up and down your thighs with anticipation, like you were the one who had seduced him.

"I'll be right back," he said deeply kissing you, "don't move."

You could not even consider moving, of course, starring at his ass and his hamstrings as he left, leaning back just slightly, feeling your hair where it had come undone already against your back. You wanted nothing other than to close your legs, applying pressure where you needed it, but your legs hung open in anticipation.

Tyler visibly gulped when he stepped through the doorway, hair hanging over his eyes, and for once you let your eyes run unabashedly over his body, your fingers tickling your collarbone, desperate to be touched.

"Get yourself ready for me," he said, your fingers moving between your legs without even thinking of what he said, running them through your arousal, slipping inside. They were nowhere near as big as his,but you were pressing hard against yourself, chest rising and falling, eyes glued onto his forearm and then his hand, gathering lube and stroking himself.

Blissfully, he stepped forward, moving into you, entering you in one smooth and slow stroke, a sigh falling from chest, feeling him finally fill you, your walls stretching around him.

"Fuck, so good" he whispered, and you nodding, capturing his lips in a breath, legs wrapping around him, eyes connected with yours when he started to move, slow and controlled. "Okay?"

He looked to you, of course, but his face betrayed him, eyes trying to stay open, struggling to hold back. You nodded, at a loss for words, hand sliding to clutch to him.

"Harder," you pleaded, wanting nothing more than to feel him pound into you, public bone rubbing your clit again and again, your nails scraping his back, hard and in a struggle for you both to get off. He tried to hold back, an effort to build things up slowly, his head tilted back in pleasure, trying to steadying his breathing, but you kept pulling him into you, muscles clenching around him every time he drew out, which somehow just made things even more intense, like you could feel every inch of him inside you.

"Fuck.." Tyler mumbled, "don't stop doing that."

You repeated the action, feeling high on the way that Tyler's breath was coming out in little pants and groans, trying to be quiet, his hand slipping between you, pushing your legs apart further and gripping it around his hips, and you shifting, your mouth falling open silently.

"Mmm...right there."

"Yeah," Tyler panted, fingers wrapped around the top of your thigh, keeping you there, hitting that spot over and over again, the cold counter under your ass a stark contrast to the way he was pushing into you, the heat of his body and his breath, his lips soft and even against your own and then moving around your neck, his free hand alternating between gripping the counter and roaming your body, like he just couldn't decide where to keep it, rocking into you, feeling like you couldn't possibly get any closer to him. "C'mon," he pleaded, desperately, like you weren't already close from the moment he pressed inside you, his hand gripping at your breast and you moved your head back a little at the pressure. "Sorry," he mumbled, kissing you although you were incapable of feeling pain at the moment, his hand somehow moving between your bodies, moving until his knuckles were against your clit, like he was trying to get the pads of his fingers in there to circle it, but you didn't even need it, because there was already enough friction with the movement of his body against yours. "Babe, you gotta-"

"Don't stop," you said, your eyes falling shut with the sensations, a slightly aggressive noise coming from Tyler right before his mouth moved around yours again, pushing your through the way your body was trembling, his teeth catching your lips when you as you continued to cum, his movements frantic and then stilling as he released, lips falling from yours, breathing as your felt all your muscles go deliciously relaxed, Tyler's body moving into yours, both of your satisfied breathing filling the small room.

"You okay?" Tyler asked against you, hands circling your thighs where your legs hung off the counter now, and you pulled back from your grasp around his neck.

"I'm great," you said, giving him a curious look, "Are you not -?"

"Mmm.." Tyler said, leaning into kissing you steady, "We just haven't gone at it like that in a while, I-"

"I wanted it like that," you assured him, and Tyler groaned, his hand coming to push your hair back out of your face, wiping his thumb under your eye, look going tender for just a moment, eyes on you. "I love you."

"I love you," he said, lips meeting softly, hands going to your lips, moving back. "As much as I'd like to just stay here, we should go back."

You nodded, Tyler reluctantly pulling away from your body. "Also you really need to feed the kid," he said, cupping his hands under his own chest to show how full your boobs were, arching a brow, and you laughed, shaking your head at his grin, half in disbelief at how you could just be completely lost in each other a second before, and a moment later just easily laughing, naked in front of each other, like this was a regular thing for you. You did your best to clean yourself up with a towel and a bit of water, trying to look like you'd hadn't just been doing what you did, or maybe like you'd had a shower, knowing full well if you actually did you'd be in trouble, patting cold water into Tyler's cheeks, trying to take the redness out of him. You felt kind of nervous, going back out there, even though you'd disappeared with him like that before, but now you were a thing, and you were pretty sure that everyone would notice when one of you was gone, knowing the other would be gone with them. And you felt even more shy when Tyler disconnected his hand from yours before you stepped back outside, telling you to follow his lead.

It was twilight by now, and clearly some other people had already taken the liberty of getting the fire going, so you felt a little less like you had to try and make your face look natural, feeling comfortable half in Tyler's clothes and half in yours. Your eyes searched for Brooke, noticing her long hair over the back of the chair immediately, Cash laying beside it, stepping around to see Bentley in her lap, clearly content and looking at a toy together, turning to look at you when you came in beside her, not wanting to say anything and disturb what Bentley was doing. She smiled, clearly giving you a knowing look, although she seemed to hold back from calling you out in front of the group, although you could hear one of the guys asking Tyler if he had trouble finding his clothes, to which Tyler gave some lame excuse about needing to find pants for Bentley in case he got cold, and then having to help you with your hair because he had these 'boyfriend responsibilities' now, and you wanted to do nothing other than to put your hand over your face.

"Hi," you said, once Bentley's eyes found you. "Are you having fun with Auntie Brooke?"

He looked at you for a moment as if to process something, and then promptly started crying.

"He was until just now," she laughed, passing him to you, and you pulled him into your body.

"I think he's getting hungry," you said, trying not to laugh when Bentley cried even louder, everyone still talking around you and not for once feeling like you were the odd man out for bringing a baby to the party, Tyler laughing and leaning behind you, his fingers moving to wipe Bentley's tears.

"He didn't realize how hungry he was until his food got here," Tyler laughed, kissing Bentley's cheek in a feeble attempt to calm him down, and then yours, because he knew you sometimes got a little rattled when Bentley was upset. "I'll grab you your water, you need anything else?"

You shook your head, and going to sit down by the fire to nurse him, and yet Tyler came back with your water and a slice of cake, a baby blanket over his arm, offering you your water and then giving you a bite of cake before he took one himself, easily leaning toward you as the conversation continued and you half listening, feeling a little tired yourself and you were pretty sure that you were going to just stay in this chair by the fire for the rest of the evening, turning to Tyler with question when he held up Bentley's blanket in front of your chest, and you wondered briefly if he thought you were showing too much skin.

"Didn't want him to get smoke in his face," Tyler explained, and then you turned your head when the wind blew the smoke in your general direction.

"Thank you," you mouthed, adjusting your legs under the baby, feeling the dogs at your feet.

"Mhmm," Tyler replied, tucking the blanket around Bentley's toes once the wind blew in the other direction, rubbing at Bentley's foot, and then bringing his hand to your shoulder, half rubbing at your shoulder and neck, relaxing you more as Bentley ate contently. He only removed them once you lifted your now full and happy baby up, laying a cloth over your shoulder as you rubbed Bentley's back. "You gonna stay up and party with us tonight, bud? We got fireworks. And so much milk."

You laughed under your breath, shifting Bentley in your lap, adjusting a pillow under your arm so he could sit up, looking at the fire which seemed to constantly attract his gaze, hearing Tyler say something like 'here' and you said "hmm?", only to realize he wasn't talking to you, despite his hand being on the arm of your chair still.

"Oh, I was just saying this was where we had our first kiss," he said, and you were instantly transported back to last summer. "Well, on purpose," Tyler said, sharing a knowing look with you, his hand just somehow settling over yours, Bentley's hands just moving around.

"No, you weren't there yet, little man," Tyler said, "you were just a wish in our heads, yeah."

Tyler's eyes were just on you though, smiling softly.

"Was it like sparks?" someone asked, and you kind of bit your lip trying not to laugh, because at how it had all gone down.

"No, she liked screamed and jumped away," Tyler answered for you, and your couldn't hold back your smile.

"Okay," you clarified, "It just took me by surprise, I wasn't, like...trying to get away. It was a lot, like, a big change."

"Yeah, but I was already nervous as sh-," Tyler said, catching himself, and then laughing, "You did not help."

"You were nervous?" you asked, in surprise, because he has seemed so calm and like he had everything together, and you were the one who seemed to be acting like you couldn't possibly process it.

"Yes," he said, clearly, "My heart was pounding out of my chest."

"Why?" you asked, before you could stop yourself, because maybe he didn't want to share all of this with everyone, his other hand scratching at the back of his neck.

"I wanted you to think I was a good kisser," he answered though, shaking his head in wonder and you felt the same, because the kissing and the touching thing was something he'd never come to you in the past when he needed help with girls, always confident that he had that under control, and it was the emotional and communication part that he always seemed to want your advice on, "I was in so much trouble."

He was smiling though, and you knew that he wanted to fall, that he was glad that he did, and you kind of loved the nerves that you felt, for once.

"I did. You are," you said, and it felt like the first time, again, except with that baby in your lap, and the questions gone from your mind when he cradled your cheek gently in his hand, tilting your head just slightly, pushing his lips to yours.


	64. Chapter 64

“For such a little person, you’ve got a ton of stuff, dude,“ Tyler said, Bentley kicking his legs where he was laid across your bed on top of his blanket, in response to Tyler talking to him, and you could see him smiling behind his pacifier, which you’d try to slip back in his mouth immediately after feeding him. You didn’t have a light on in your room, other than the night light in the corner, the bathroom door open just enough that you could see, leaving a band of light across the room. 

"Does everything fit?” you asked tentatively, because even though you'd insisted that Tyler pack the car the day before because you intended to leave so early in the morning, it was practically the middle of the night and you couldn’t very well pack his bassinet when Bentley needed to sleep in it . Hell, when you thought about taking a family vacation it was still with your mom and your sister that you’d pictured, like the way things had been your last few years of high school, only now you’d just bring Bentley with you. You hadn’t thought about taking him anywhere alone, especially not when he was this young and couldn’t appreciate it, not like the photos that you’d had in your baby book of trips to the lake, sitting with your mom and then your dad on the beach blanket, because it seemed just kind of a little lonely to think about having to get a stranger to take a picture of just you and your baby on the beach. 

Honestly, you’d truly imagined that your first actual trip with Bentley would be going down to Dallas to visit Tyler, because he had seemed to want you to so badly, even though that idea had seemed so overwhelming to you then. But now going away seemed exciting, with only a twinge of anticipation about travelling with a baby.

“Oh, yeah, it’s fine,” Tyler whispered. You had to take his vehicle, which obviously had a lot more room, and you didn’t even think that you could fit all the baby stuff in your car, let alone the dogs. But that had meant transferring the car seat from your car to Tyler’s, which you wanted to do ahead of time to make sure it was secure, which meant that Tyler had just been driving around with an infant seat in his back seat for the last day and a half, which tugged at your heartstrings for some reason. “Wait, how many bags do you have?”

“One,” you said, frowning because he knew it was still by the door, just waiting for you to add your toiletry bag to once you were done with it this morning.

“That’s it?” he asked, hand on the back of his neck like he was surprised, and you nodded. “You don’t have some secret girl bag?”

“Some secret girl bag?” you laughed, “I mean, I have the diaper bag, which is like my purse.”

“Yeah, you know how girls over pack.”

“You travel with a lot of girls, then?” you whispered back, grinning, Tyler giving you a look. 

“Ones I’m related to, yeah,” he said, “But I should actually be all romantic and stuff and carry your bags for you.”

“You always carry my bags for me,” you said, because usually he was dramatic, complaining that they were too heavy, even though you were perfectly capable of carrying them for yourself.

“Well, maybe I like you just a little bit,” he said sweetly, holding his fingers together as he took a step just inside the doorway. Gerry lifted his head, one eye still half closed, giving Tyler a weary look and Cash snored from the foot of the bed, which just made Bentley smile again, stretching out his arms and his legs in his sleeper excitedly.

“He is way, way too awake for it not even being 5 A.M.,” you said, because the plan was to get up to go early, when Bentley would still easily go back to sleep, so he could just sleep on the drive. And Tyler was quite often up early anyways to go into the city, so he promised you that it was no big deal for him to drive the whole way, that you could go back to sleep in the car.

“Yeah,” Tyler whispered, although it seemed that the dogs were more bothered by the conversation, and you ran your finger over your forehead in anticipation of Bentley crying the whole time. “At least he’s happy though.”

“I know, but usually he goes right back to sleep at this time,” you said. Although, sometimes, when Tyler was up he’d get up and change him after you fed him, and then you’d crawl back into bed for a couple more hours, Tyler putting Bentley back in his bassinet to sleep. Honestly, you had a pretty good routine going, you thought, Tyler and the dogs ended up at your place every night other than the weekend he was gone in Dallas, although there’d been once when he had a dinner meeting and he thought he’d just crash at his place and see you in the morning, the dogs with you, only you’d heard his car pull into the driveway and gotten a text that he gonna crash on the couch until the baby woke up, and then he’d just ended up coming into the bedroom, stripped off his clothes on the floor, wedging himself silently into the bed between you and the dogs.

“Umm…I mean, maybe he sometimes chills with me when I have my coffee, ‘cause he doesn’t want to go back to sleep right away,” Tyler said, looking at you sheepishly. 

“He does?” you asked, “I thought you just changed him.”

“I do, but then he’s awake and all smiley, so he likes to sit in his little chair thing and watch me cook breakfast,” Tyler said, “Then we cuddle and he goes back to sleep, and like, I know that’s probably not a good idea, but usually when you’re around he wants you, and if you’re not there then he’ll take me.”

You smiled still, hand brushing across the top of Bentley’s foot. “Well, he’s also probably supposed to actually have a bedtime, but I’ve just always let him sleep on me or in the living room until I…or we go to bed.”

“He’s a baby,” Tyler said, in a sing-song-y voice, and you looked out where, well most of your boys were still in bed. “He doesn’t need rules.”

“Where’s Marshall?” you asked, because he’d been pretty much glued to either your or Tyler’s side since you’d started packing a few days ago, although he’d been fine coming to bed with you last night.

“He’s…well, he was with me,” Tyler asked, turning, “Marsh?”

You picked Bentley up, kind of instantly getting worried because you weren’t entirely sure that Tyler had closed the front door, and it wasn’t like Marshall was overly familiar with your neighborhood other than the usual way that you usually walked to and from Tyler’s house. Of course, now that you had Bentley with you, Cash jumped off the bed to follow you, and then Gerry got up, thinking that something exciting would happen. 

“I’ll check outside,” you said, going down the hall while Tyler was looking in Bentley’s room.

“He won’t be outside,” Tyler said, as if he was certain of the fact, “I shut the door, he’s probably just hiding somewhere.”

“You shut the door or the screen?” You asked, Tyler’s eyes shifting back and forth. You were so used to keeping it open during the day in the summer to get air circulating throughout your older house but, of course, you’d discovered last winter when you’d left the door open while you were putting something in the car that Marshall had figured out how to push it open. Really, it was something that you’d found charming when you first got this house but it kind of turned into a bit of an annoyance, and now you were starting to see it as just another opportunity for little fingers to get pinched or for a curious little toddler to head out towards the road. You’d already opened up the screened-in porch the spring after you’d moved in, but clearly you had a few more updates that you would have to do to before Bentley got mobile. Tyler called for Marshall again, although his voice was still quieter, not panicked like yours was. 

You opened the screen door, fully prepared to step out into the driveway in your bare feet, seeing a glow of eyes coming towards you and towards the steps inside, Marshall’s tail wagging when he got into sight, and you made a sad face when you realized the poor thing had probably been out there staring up at the trunk, waiting for it to open so he could jump in. 

“Don’t worry,” you said, hand brushing over the top of his head as he walked by and back into the house. “You’re coming with us.”

“Come here,” Tyler said, bending down to pet him, “You ready to go? Let’s go. Let’s go, Mom.”

“I just need to get dressed,” you said, waiting until Tyler stood up to pass Bentley over to him, Bentley letting out a noise that was half annoyance half cry.

“Oh,” Tyler said, and then lowered his voice to a whisper again, “C'mon, let’s go for a little walk.”

You smiled at the way that he just took him, walking quietly back into your bedroom like your body still knew it was too early to be up for the day, slipping into the soft clothes you’d laid out on your bathroom counter last night. 

“You’re supposed to go back to sleep,” you heard Tyler whispering when you went back into the living room, Bentley now laying in Tyler’s arms like he was trying to rock him to sleep, leaning over to plant a kiss on Bentley’s belly, Tyler’s head turning to look at you, smiling when he saw you. "You look good in those sweats.“

"Yeah?” you asked. They were his, of course, which you’d thrown on just for the car ride because you wanted to be comfy. And while you’d worn them a lot over the last year, you’d always just worn them around the house and, for some reason, it made you feel kind of a strange thrill to wear his number, like you might have felt as a sixteen year old when any boy gave you his sweatshirt because you were feeling cold. 

“Mhmm, so cute,” Tyler said, “I should wear mine and then we can be twins.”

You laughed at the way that he grinned at you big, going to grab the dogs’ collars and putting them on one by one, Tyler slipping past you and turning Bentley’s car seat closer to him with his foot. “He’s gonna scream,” you warned, preparing yourself.

“Yeah, he might,” Tyler said, shifting to settle Bentley into his seat where he scrunched up his face and then started crying immediately, Tyler trying to quickly buckle him in, Gerry barking around the entrance way like Tyler was doing something wrong, and you only hoped that you didn’t wake your neighbors up. “Ger, shush.”

“It’s okay,” you said, leaning into settle your hand on Bentley’s chest, adjusting his pacifier in his mouth to try and get him to take it and calm down. “You’re okay, we’re just gonna go for a car ride, we’re gonna get moving soon.”

You were relieved when Tyler picked the carseat up, not wanting to delay things any longer than you had to, knowing that Bentley would eventually be soothed by the motion of the car, all three dogs coming with you and looking up at the little thing which seemed to be making a lot of noise, Tyler shifting the car seat in his hands easily to grab his keys and unlock the doors. 

“What did that carseat ever do to you, bud?” Tyler asked in a gentle voice. “Oooh, you’re mad.”

“He doesn’t like staying still,” you laughed, taking the car seat from Tyler so you could snap it into the base in the back. 

“Does he know he can’t move?” Tyler asked in a stage whisper, “Literally have to carry that kid everywhere.”

You laughed under your breath, crawling over the backseat while you could hear Tyler talking to the dogs, getting them into the backseat, smiling because as he adjusted the beds and blankets he’d laid back down there for them. 

“Bentley Bear,” you said, making sure that his pacifier was clipped to his sleeper so it wouldn’t get lost in the depths of the car when he most likely would spit it out until he was tired of being upset and realized that it wasn’t entirely so bad being in the car, “You just gotta do this every time, huh? We gotta go in the car to go to fun places, baby." 

You leaned in, still trying to soothe him, adjusting the straps around his body as if that would help, even though you knew that he was perfectly fine, just annoyed at the situation, not that there was anything that was actually wrong, still leaning in with him until you felt a wide hand grip your ass, Tyler doing his best to try and lean in beside you. "I brought his blanket,” he said softly and you smiled, reaching for it, knowing that you’d want it to drape over his carseat if he was sleeping when the sun started to come up. “You want to listen to some tunes, bud? Roll down the windows so you can feel the wind in that little bit of hair?”

You smiled, running your hand through Bentley’s hair. “He’s ready to go.”

“Yeah, we can go,” Tyler said softly, “you got everything?”

“I….well, I hope so,” you said, trying to think everything over, which was kind of hard while you were still trying to soothe the baby. “Do you have everything?”

“Yep,” Tyler responded, although you weren’t entirely sure he thought about the question the way he responded so easily, although he’d always been much more easy going than you.

“Are you sure?” you asked, “Because I didn’t pack anything for the dogs.”

Tyler raised his eyebrow in response, his lips quirking with a smile. “Babe, you know I have packed for them without you before, and we managed to survive okay.”

And you blinked because of course he was capable. “No, I know,” you said, giving him a sheepish little grin, “Sorry, I’ve just never traveled with a baby before, I feel like I’ve got a lot going on in my brain.”

And now you were rewarded by one of Tyler’s smiles that made you feel that much more comfortable. “He’s got somewhere to sleep, he’s got outfits, and we’ve got his stroller,” Tyler said, “So we run out of diapers or whatever, they do have stores there.”

“I know,” you said, feeling more relaxed now, “I did this when I took him on his first big outing to your mom’s house. I had to remind myself that all he really, really needs is food.”

“Well, we better not leave you behind,” Tyler joked, “And you’re also with me this time, I can be your cute little errand boy.”

“Oh yeah?” you laughed, because he was smiling like a cute little kid excited about something. 

“Mmhmm,” he said, leaning in just close enough that your lips could touch. “I’m gonna go stick your keys in the neighbour’s mailbox and grab your the baby bag.”

“Thanks,” you said, sitting in the backseat and watching as Tyler jogged across the street, going to tuck your keys under the neighbour’s welcome mat, where you’d asked the elementary school aged brother and sister who lived there to water your plants and bring in your mail for you in exchange for a little summer spending money, a job they’d been quite excited to do for you. “Daddy’s coming right back,” you said to the backseat, your hand still resting on Bentley’s chest. He was still crying, of course, which was making Gerry whine and then Marshall was barking at Gerry, while Cash was just laying there looking up at you like you were supposed to be doing something to fix the baby. Tyler bit back a laugh as he walked past the car at the ruckus that you were trying to contain inside, like your life was crazy but you loved it. “He’s fine, I promise,” you said, leaning one arm into the backseat to pet Marshall. "Sometimes babies just cry.“

"Yeah, you should know,” Tyler said, leaning behind you to stick something in the back and then sliding the diaper bag along the floor so it was in front of the car seat rather than under your feet. “Don’t you remember how you used to cry when I left when you were a baby? Mom had to come over when she got home from work earlier in the summer to hang out with you. Good thing Daddy was smart and bought a house nearby .”

“I knew you only moved here because I did!” you said, maybe louder than you should, but he always acted surprised when he claimed that he only just realized your house was a five minute drive away.

“I told you, it’s a nice neighbourhood,” he said, “And of course it’s a bonus that I could just drop by and bug you whenever I want.”

You laughed, because sometimes it was a bit of a bother when he dropped by unannounced, especially when he seemed to want to overlook all your first dates, although he did actually ask when you had had a steady boyfriend, but you kinda had grown to love the summertime, when it was just so easy to drop by his place to cook for two rather than for one or to split a pizza, or to have someone to watch T.V. with for a couple hours in the evening before you went to your respective houses. Bentley gave another little angry cry, and you were jolted back into the present again, remembering that you weren’t just two kids starting out on your adult lives anymore, that you had a whole other life you were responsible for. "I think I should ride back here with him for a bit,“ you said, looking at Tyler a little guiltily because you wanted to spend time with him, to have him pull your hand into his and run his lips along your knuckles with a kiss like he did when you were at stoplights, or see the way his eyes darted towards you even behind his sunglasses while he drove, but you couldn’t very well enjoy anything with Bentley upset in the back.

"Yeah, I thought you were going to want to,” Tyler said, “that’s why I left you space.”

You smiled as he slid the seat in front of you forward a bit so you had more room, and you leaned over to pull out a toy to distract Bentley for a bit while Tyler went around the driver’s seat, and you were thankful that he started the car immediately before he even went to buckle his seatbelt, because the vibrations at least would usually start to calm Bentley down. “What kind of music do you want?” Tyler asked, looking back at you as he buckled the seat belt, like he was checking that you had your seat belt buckled up, too.

“Whatever you want,” you said, trying to attract Bentley’s attention with one of the crinkly toys that you could attach to his car seat or stroller, especially since anything that made that crinkly noise seemed to be what he was into right now, although it didn’t seem to be overly interesting to him right now. “Maybe something relaxing.”

“I was talking to Bentley,” Tyler said, looking back at you as he drove fairly slowly down to the end of the road where the stop sign was, “I’m trying to get a five star rating here, and he’s being a bit of a tricky customer. ”

You laughed, trying to tickle Bentley under his chin, encouraging him to look at you. “Someone’s trying to ask you something.”

“Oh, you want your favourite album?” Tyler asked, pushing on the dash with his fingers and slowly turning up the volume so it wouldn’t be too loud and scare the baby, you assumed, because he would definitely blast it with the intent of making you jump, trying your hardest not to smile when you heard the song coming through the speakers, running your fingers just above your eyebrows, because you’d half been expecting him to turn on some kind of children’s music, even though you felt like that would give you an immediate headache.

“This is his favourite album or your favourite album?” you asked.

“Ummm.. his,” Tyler said, like it was obvious, “It’s Beerbongs and Bentleys.”

“Yes, I know what it is,” you laughed, seeing Tyler’s eyes looking at you in the rearview mirror, just knowing what he what going to say. “No, I did not name my child after a Post Malone album.”

Tyler cracked up laughing, “He’s kinda into it though.”

Living alone for so long, you typically often had music going though, and spending so much time outside with Tyler in the summer, it wasn’t unusual for you to have music going all day. “I think he just likes all music,” you said, thinking that you really should look into music classes to give the two of you something to do when Tyler was at the gym or in the city.

“How did you even come up with his name?” Tyler asked, “You never told me that, usually you tell me everything.”

You smiled, looking at Bentley, and then towards where Tyler was. “Well, once I knew he was a boy, I knew his middle name was gonna be your name.”

“You knew before you knew his first name?” Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Well, yeah,” you smiled, obviously, feeling Bentley’s hands moving around your own. “So I just knew that I wanted a name that sounded good with yours, so I just looked through a bunch of those name websites and I just really liked the way the 'B’ names sounded, and then I just could not get the name Bentley out of my head, and like "Bentley Tyler”, I just loved the way it sounded.“

"It suits him.”

“Yeah,” you said, “I think so. I wanted to see him first before I decided, but I couldn’t even think about anything right after either,” you said, leaning your head once more to look at Bentley, perfect even though he was not happy.

“You didn’t know before?”

“Well, I knew it was going to start with a 'B’, and it was like 90% gonna be Bentley, I just wasn’t 100% until after,” you said, realizing know that Tyler had switched over to some quieter background music, something country and easy to listen to that you couldn’t quite identify, “I didn’t tell anyone my ideas though,” you added, realizing that if things had been different, he’d probably have been the only one that you’d share it with. “I just….I don’t know.”

“Wanted to keep something just between him and you?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” you said, kind of realizing that you kind of had to rely on a whole group of other people as you’d navigated through this whole thing. 

“Honestly, it’s a good thing you didn’t tell me, I would have cried, like, everyday until he was born, and only one of us should have been emotional. Probably the one of us that was actually carrying the baby,” Tyler said, clearing thinking, “What would you have done if he was a girl? Tylerita?”

You were trying not to laugh at the way he was feigning seriousness to try and ask that, but then Bentley let out another cry and you tried not to laugh at that, reaching for his pacifier. 

“Awe, it’s okay, bud, Mommy wouldn’t name you that,” Tyler said, “We know you’re a boy.”

“You were meant to be a boy, huh?” you asked, “Then you could have a special name.”

You smiled at Tyler in the rearview mirror, watching his expression as he spoke to you. “It’s a good name,” Tyler agreed, "But Bentley suits you better though because you can’t even say that in an angry way, it’s just impossible. If you ever get in trouble, we’re gonna have to pull out the 'Bentley Tylerrrrr.“

"Is that supposed to be your mom?” You laughed.

“Yeah, that’s how I usually hear my name,” he said, “he’s a good boy though.”

“Yeah,” you said softly, using your thumb to wipe the couple tears from Bentley’s face, now that he was making those infrequent little cry noises that were letting you know that he was starting to calm down, his pacifier abandoned now. “You want to check out your toy now?” You asked, and he just looked at you, letting out one last little wail, feeling Gerry try to push his head over the seats, his sniffing nose loud in your ear, but not loud enough that you didn’t catch the sweetest little baby giggles, Bentley’s eyes now on Gerry, your eyes filling with the same gooiness you felt in your heart. 

“Is that funny, Bentley?” You asked, your eyes meeting Tyler’s in the mirror again, seeking out his reaction to another one of Bentley’s firsts, half laughing along with him. By now Cash’s head popped up too, checking on what this new noise was, Bentley making a noise that was half cooing half a laugh. 

“What’re they doing? Are they being silly?” Tyler asked in a soft voice, the light in the back flicking on now, “Where’s Marshall?”

The sound that followed could only be described as pure delight, followed by the sound of tails hitting each other and everything that you had packed in the back, while you tried to stop the excited dogs from trying to crawl up, which Bentley still seemed to find hilarious. “That’s the cutest noise ever.”

“Yeah, it is,” Tyler agreed, “Yet, anyways. Just wait until I get him going though, that’ll be like a straight belly laugh.”

“He’s laughing pretty hard, babe,” you said, mainly because you didn’t want Tyler to be too disappointed if Bentley was laughing as hard as he possibly could right now, knowing that Tyler would likely do pretty much anything to elicit a laugh from him, Tyler grin at your term of endearment.

“He’s just getting warmed up,” Tyler insisted. 

And while you would have totally been happy to listen to Bentley laugh for the next 6 hours, you were happy that he did eventually fall asleep only so he wouldn’t get too overtired later, honestly making it easy to the point where you could switch to the front seat and then back again when you stopped to change him or feed him. When you did arrive, you put your coffee aside for the moment, just appreciating the peacefulness of the mountains, even though there were plenty of families out and about when you drove through the village, and to the home that you’d be staying in for the next week, perfectly tucked away from everything, Bentley peacefully in another nap.

“We’re here,” Tyler whispered in a sing-song voice, the dogs seeming to hear him anyways from where they’d been curled up in the back, restless to get out and explore. “Is he still out?”

“Yeah,” you said, although you could kind of notice his eyelids start to flicker once Tyler had shut the car off, your hand resting over the straps across his chest, trying to figure out if he was waking up enough to where you should take him out of his carseat, or if he was going to be grumpy if he was taken out before he was completely awake, his eyes flickering up at you like he didn’t quite know what was going on his life, but he knew his mom was there so he was fine. “He did so good.”

“Oh, he was awesome,” Tyler agreed.

“Hi,” you cooed at Bentley, leaning over as he shifted restlessly in his car seat, “I’m so proud of you.”

Tyler cleared his throat loudly enough to attract your attention. “I was well behaved, too.”

“You grabbed my ass,” you laughed, a grin spreading across Tyler’s face, giving you a clue as to what his eyes were doing behind his sunglasses.

“You were in the backseat, I can’t be a complete gentleman in the backseat,” he said, and part of you wanted to shake your head at him, but you kind of loved his flirty quips, and you really just wanted to be able to soak up all the moments of being able to touch like that, especially when it was just you guys and you knew he was doing it purely because he wanted to, not because he had that little sliver of playfully trying to get a rise out of you. “Leave him in there for one sec, babe?”

You didn’t even have time to ask why, because then you were laughing because he was running around the side of the SUV, trying to get the dogs to stay as he climbed into the trunk with them. “We forgot to take a picture,” Tyler explained, phone extended in front of him like he was trying to take a selfie and wrangle the dogs into it at the same time. "It’s our first family trip.“

"Okay, but wouldn’t it be easier if you stayed in the front?”

“He’s facing the wrong way,” Tyler said, pointing towards Bentley, and you laughed, pushing back the sunshield that might have been covering part of his face, turning so you could get in the picture too, Tyler shaking his keys and making little noises to try and get Bentley to look towards him, but all it seemed to be doing was encouraging Gerry to try and jump up on Tyler, although he did seem to get at least one that was acceptable, and you made a mental note that you’d have to ask someone to take a picture of all of you at some point, when you hadn’t been in the car for six hours, too, Bentley’s little hands stretching out into the air. “You want my keys?”

You pulled Bentley out before he started getting upset, Tyler opening the door before you even had time to reach for it, smiling appreciatively at him, as you slid out, trying to secure the baby who was not squirming in your arms. “What are you doing?” you laughed.

“He’s stretching his legs,” Tyler laughed, the dogs circling around both of you like they were doing the same thing, Bentley leaning back a little in your arms, and you hand to move your hands, Tyler laughing even harder, his hand reaching for Bentley’s head. “What? You stretching your back, too?”

Honestly, you weren’t sure if he had moved quite so much since he was inside you, but you shifted, getting a better grip on him and thinking that he was probably ready to stretch out on a blanket and get some play time in. “I’m probably going to have to get him a new car seat soon, he’s almost too long,” you said, kissing at Bentley’s neck, “I probably should have just gotten him one that wasn’t for newborns because I should have guessed he would have been big with you.”

“Huh?” Tyler asked, looking from his phone back to where he was punching numbers into the lock box to grab the keys so you could get inside the house. “What does his length have to do with me?”

“You’re tall,” you said, matter-of-factually swaying back and forth with Bentley and smiling at him as you tried to keep an eye on the dogs.

“Yeah, but you’ve never told me I’m long,” he said, laughing even before he got the words completely out. 

“Oh my god,” you said under your breath, “that is not what I meant.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, grinning with the sarcasm, and you were trying to think of a rebuttal when you heard something metallic hit against a paving stone, turning.

“What was that?” you asked, trying to look around the baby.

“He threw my keys on the ground,” Tyler said, sighing dramatically as he bent down to pick them up. “You’re supposed to be helping me hold them, dude.”

“Say 'sorry, I’m still trying to figure out how to work my hands’.” You didn’t even realize Tyler had even given them to him, honestly, because you already had enough trouble making sure that Bentley didn’t drop his own plastic car keys on his face.

“I think you did it on purpose,” Tyler said teasingly, leaning over to plant playful kisses all over Bentley’s belly. “Not lambo keys, not Ferrari keys, you don’t want it. You so fancy. Whatcha got on? Is that Baby Gap?”

You smiled at the way that Bentley was reacting happily the way Tyler was talking to and kissing him. “Is he teasing you?” You asked, placing a kiss on Bentley’s cheek, “Is that funny?”

“Nah, I’m going for laughs,” Tyler said, trying to tickle Bentley’s belly while Bentley just kind of looked at him, and you bit back a laugh at the fact that he smiled bigger once Gerry decided to jump against Tyler, forcing him to take a step. “Okay, okay, you want to go check out where we’re gonna hang out?”

And now you actually looked at the house that was before you, realizing that it stretched out much, much further than you’d initially thought. “How big is this place?” You hadn’t actually done this part of the planning out, you only caveat being that there was enough space for Bentley’s bassinet, and that there was either a sink big enough for you to bathe him or a bathtub, which apparently there were both, along with a hot tub which sounded nothing short of awesome to you, especially because you’d been pregnant the last time you’d been anywhere near one.

“Like the square footage?” Tyler asked, looking at you with a laugh, “I don’t know.”

“Like how many bedrooms?” you laughed, and now you were beginning to feel like you knew that he knew where you were staying was a little too much.

“Umm..” he said, the key in the lock now, “Five? Something like that?”

“Five?” you repeated, “There’s only two of us!”

“No, six, right?” Tyler said, moving his finger around to count all both you and him, and then Bentley, and the dogs, his face dropping dramatically. “Damnit, I guess you and I are gonna have to share.”

You laughed at the way he was leaned over against you like this was going to be a huge burden, lifting up with a sigh against Bentley. “Okay, okay, I guess you can sleep over with us too, bud,” he said, the dogs roaming around both of you, “Okay, okay, I guess you all can

Although, now that you were thinking about it, it wouldn’t necessarily be a bad idea to have a couple of bedrooms, because then you and Tyler could be in one until you actually went to sleep, like you usually did at your room at home before you brought Bentley out of his room and into yours, and maybe you could actually try and see if you could handle letting him sleep in a room by himself so you could have a little alone time, although we were pretty certain that you’d have at least one dog in bed with you anyways, and Tyler never seemed like he was put out by having the Bentley sleep in the room with you.

Although, once you stepped inside, you could see that it wasn’t nearly as…well, boujee as you may have been worried about, although you were certain it was still nicer and more than you ever would have spent.

"Most of the stuff up here is like for big groups of people to come skiing and stuff, I looked for something smaller but there wasn’t really anything other than like a condo,” Tyler said, “And this is good because he can be upstairs sleeping and we won’t wake him up when we’re playing games or whatever.”

“Playing games?” you asked, because one thing you knew about Tyler was that he was not really one who would sit down for a round of Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit, unless, of course, he got to be on your team.

“Yeah, there’s ping-pong and pool.”

Of course there was.

“Oh, it’s nice though,” you said, because it was open and clean, everything minimal except for just the essentials, which was perhaps most what you loved about getting away. 

“Mhmm,” Tyler mumbled, leaning around you to press a soft kiss to your lips, feeling him smile against you, which only made you relax into him more, even though his toes were forcing your feet to slide out of the flip flops you had on, kicking them out of the way as soon as you could before you all walked around the house you’d be staying in, this trip somehow seeing momentous even though you had traveled with Tyler before. 

“Oh, you know what we could do? We could have a big family vacation up here.”

“Like with both of our families?”

“Yeah,” you said, because you really couldn’t think of anything that would be more fun for Bentley, once he was able to run around, than to be to have time to spend with all his aunts and his grandparents all at once, with little worry for bedtimes or the amount of treats he got in one day. 

“Uh…” Tyler said, and for a moment you thought maybe you’d overstepped, “That seems like a lot of girls. But also a lot of home cooked food. Why are both of our families like all girls?”

You laughed at the way he looked all stressed, like he really didn’t love it even though you knew he did. “We would get like a big place,” you said, “Or we don’t even have to all stay in the same house, either, like -”

“Now that idea I like,” Tyler said now, “We’ll just rent places next to each other and then I can lock the door of ours when I’m done.”

“Tyler,” you laughed, “It’d be fun. I thought it would be really fun for Bentley when he’s older, not like right now.”

“Oh, he’d love it,” Tyler said, “All the boys would, I’m sure it’d be fun. I just really like the idea of being able to lock the door.”

You followed Tyler in looking around the house with Bentley, or rather you followed Gerry, his tail hitting against your legs every so often as you walked, him right on Tyler’s heels, and Marshall and Cash not too far behind. Except for when you had to stop to fix Bentley’s pacifier clip, because it kept rubbing against you and you had to assume it was irritating Bentley as well, finding Tyler in the master bathroom, where he was laid out in the roomy bathtub, ducking down when he saw you, and you frowned with a laugh, and then he poked his head back up, and you realized he was trying to play with Bentley. “Do you think this is big enough for you to have a bath with Mom tonight, Bentley?” Tyler asked him, and you looked at Bentley, wondering now if he was big enough to actually try that with, but he was just looking at Tyler rather than you. 

“He’s wondering why you’re in the tub with clothes on,” you said.

“Do you see how she talks to me?” Tyler asked with a gasp, climbing out of the tub now, “Always trying to get me naked.”

“That is not at all what I said,” you laughed, although you really would not mind taking a bath with him at all, either, again. “You’re the one whose barged in on me in the bath like all the time.”

“Uh-huh, when you were this big,” Tyler said to Bentley, his fingers barely any space apart. “Now you’re so big you already know how to laugh.”

Tyler tried tickling him again, and you shifted, trying to see if you could bounce some giggles out of him at least. “That’s not his tickle spot.”

“Where is?” he asked.

“I’ll show you,” you said, hands moving around Bentley’s torso as you walked back into the bedroom, laying him out on the bed and leaning over him, kissing along the ridge of his neck, and making faces and little noises as you tickled him under his arms, Bentley smiling and making little noises back to you, feeling the bed dip as Tyler leaning over Bentley, too, his hand going out when Gerry jumped up to make sure he didn’t accidentally step on the baby, Gerry sweetly curling up to lay down, and Tyler laying against him, his hands going around Gerry’s back.

“Bentley,” Tyler said in a sing-song voice, taking Gerry’s ears and stretching them out so they were held out from his face, Bentley still kicking his arms and legs happily, but not laughing, Tyler letting Gerry’s ears drop defeatedly, and then Gerry shaking his head like he had water in them. “I thought you thought the puppies were funny.”

“Maybe he just doesn’t think you’re funny,” you grinned, because Tyler had already made fun of you relentlessly for not being funny when you had tried to get Bentley to laugh again in the car. 

“Yeah,” Tyler deadpanned, breaking into a smile. “He’s probably got your sense of humour, that’s the problem.”

“No, you make me laugh all the time.”

“Yeah, I do,” Tyler said cockily, and then you were laughing again when he delicately tackled you into the bed, kissing along your neck like you had been with the baby.

*****

You were honestly really, really glad that you had grabbed the pancake mix and cereal the day before, when you’d gone grocery shopping after you felt relaxed with all the baby stuff set up in your place. You’d done nothing other than taking the dogs for a walk and then spent a quiet night in with watching movies and eating the pizza and the popcorn you’d picked up as well. You weren’t sure if it was all the sleeping he’d done in the car ride yesterday or just because his routine was off, but it meant that he hadn’t really slept that great last night. Luckily he wasn’t overly crabby, just staying up with you guys later than he would usually, and you were up with him several times in the night, finally starting your day just after the sun had risen. And while Tyler had gotten up with you a couple of times, he was such a deep sleeper that he often just half mumbled towards you,whereas you’d be completely awake, so it was just easier to let him sleep, especially when he couldn’t really do anything. You did however still love the way he’d wrap his arms around you when you came back to bed, half asleep, even nuzzling his morning wood between your thighs, sighing peacefully before he’d fall back asleep.

Then you’d had trouble falling back asleep for an entirely different reason.

You’d somehow managed to creep out of the bedroom without waking Tyler, because you knew he was exhausted from the drive yesterday even though he didn’t let on, hanging out outside with the dogs for a bit. Once you’d come in, you’d unearthed a waffle maker in one of the cabinets, having warm waffles and coffee with some fresh berries almost ready by the time Tyler had finally woken up, even though you knew he’d just have happily have taken you out for breakfast. He didn’t have any problems enjoying the waffles, though.

You were happy just to take things slow, though, with no other plans other than to head out to do a little shopping at some point. At least that was what you thought until Tyler ever so gently suggested that maybe you wanted to go get changed out of your PJ’s while Bentley was having some morning playtime. When you came back, Tyler was only slightly more reclined on the floor, looking up at you with soft eyes. "You got milk for him in the fridge, right?“

"You think he’s hungry?” you asked, because he seemed completely content, Tyler having flipped him onto his tummy so he could look at the dogs, the few toys you’d put out for Bentley now in Tyler’s hand, although you weren’t sure if that was to entertain the baby, or to try and keep them away from Gerry.

“Noo,” Tyler said, drawing out the word and looking up at you with puppy dog eyes. “Just in case he gets hungry while you’re out.”

“Where am I going?” you laughed.

“To the spa,” he said, like this was something that you should already have known, “For your massage. And you should probably leave soon if you want to have a sauna or a steamer before your appointment.”

“What?” you said, rather dumbly, even though you knew by the look in his eye that he was serious. “Tyler….”

“You love massages,” Tyler said, “And you’ve got that weird neck thing from holding the baby and feeding the baby and stuff. You need a massage.”

“You rub my neck all the time.”

“A professional,” Tyler said.

“You have really strong hands,” you said, and Tyler just looked at you and laughed. “Well, what about you, like you -”

“Get massages all the time,” he finished. “And we’re trying to have guy time so if you could just.." 

You laughed at the way that he just shook his hand like he was trying to tell you to shoo away, but you took a couple of steps towards him and he smiled up at you from the floor, and then leaned down, kissing him, his fingers reaching to thread through yours like he needed to touch you in some way when you kissed. "Thank you,” you whispered onto his lips, and he smiled against you.

“I texted all the stuff to your phone,” he said, his hands pulling away from yours just briefly. “And you might need these.”

You laughed, looking down at the plastic car keys that Tyler had pressed into your hand, going to push the big button on them, the music playing obnoxiously, Bentley making noises in response ashe tried to keep his head looking up, and then getting frustrated, and you instinctively picked him up before he started to cry. “My keys are on the table,” Tyler said. 

“Okay,” you said, rocking back and forth with Bentley, “I pumped this morning so there’s milk in the fridge. And his bottles are in the diaper bag, he ate a couple hours ago so he might be hungry in like an hour-ish?”

“Mmk,” Tyler said easily, tossing the plastic car keys back and forth in his hand.

“Are you gonna have fun with Uncle Ty-Ty?” You asked Bentley, “what are you guys gonna do?”

“We can’t tell you, you’re a girl,” Tyler said, passing the baby over to him now that he was standing up, Bentley started to cry pitifully almost immediately, and Tyler bit back a laugh. "Yeah, I know, Ilike that girl, too. She’ll come back though.“

You leaned down, kissing Bentley on the forehead, smoothing your hand over the top of his head. "You’ll be okay, Mommy’s just gonna go bye-bye for a little bit.”

“Going bye-bye?” Tyler laughed, and you gave him a look, still crouched in front of Bentley, kissing him again, because he had been going through this phase where he knew when it was someone other than you holding him, which made leaving him that much harder. Tyler followed you through the house and out to the car, the baby in one arm so that he could open up the driver’s side door for you, letting the dogs roam around the grassy area in front of the house. Tyler kiss you once more, and then you laughed against each other as Bentley fussed in his arms.

"You want one more kiss, too?“ Tyler asked him, lifting Bentley up so that you could kiss him goodbye through the window, waving your hand as you started the car. 

"You be good, okay?” you asked, rubbing his arm once more.

“I mean, I’ll try, but I’m not gonna promise anything,” Tyler said, and you smiled at him.

“Love you guys.”

“Love you, too,” Tyler responded, and then you couldn’t stop smiling at him waving Bentley’s little hand as you drove away, fairly certain that you could hear Tyler say that Mommy was going bye-bye but they were gonna have so much fun, walking around barefoot in the grass with the dogs, and you knew it wouldn’t be long before he got distracted.

When you came back, beautifully drowsy and wonderfully light, it was only Marshall who greeted you at the door, and you could only assume that Cash was still guarding the baby, hearing quiet other than the murmur of the T.V., somehow recognizing the drone of golf announcers, turning the corner to see Tyler stretched out on the couch with nothing other than a pair of shorts on, Bentley resting on his bare chest, dressed in nothing other than a diaper and his eyes looking quite heavy, Cash laid out on the floor in front of them, and Gerry between Tyler’s legs with his head resting by Tyler’s hip, probably because Bentley was in his usual spot with Tyler. You ran your hand over Bentley’s back, taking in the empty bottle next to Tyler’s coffee mug on the end table, mouthing a 'hi’ to Tyler, your hands reaching for Gerry’s and then Cash’s head. "Did he spit up?“

Tyler shook his head, and then noticed that you looking at the naked baby. "He’s fine, I only took his clothes off because I needed to give him a bottle.”

“What?” you said, wondering if there was something you were missing, your head spaced out.

“This is how we figured out that he likes me to feed him,” Tyler said, gesturing at his bare chest and Bentley’s body. “He’s happier like this, I think he likes that it’s more cuddly and he gets the skin-to-skin so it’s more like when you feed him.”

“Oh, okay,” you said, nudging Gerry aside so you could sit down next to him on the couch, half wondering how long Tyler had been doing this with him for, not that you were terribly worried because he clearly wasn’t cold, Bentley’s blanket tossed over the back of the couch. “How was he?”

“So good,” Tyler said, “He only really cried when you left and then he got a bit mad because I was taking too long to get his bottle ready and he’s used to more fast food service. But we’ve just been been hanging out being golf watching buds. He loves it.”

You were pretty sure Bentley’s eyes were actually closed, though, and it may have been Tyler who loved it more, but you couldn’t deny that he looked completely content with Tyler and you loved that, almost not wanting to disturb them but half curling up on the couch with them anyways. 

“How was your massage?” Tyler asked in a whisper, his eyes looking rather heavy too.

“So good,” you said, almost drunk off the feeling, and you really hoped that you turned this into an annual type of thing like you wanted, because you kind of wanted to go back there with him, just the two of you, while Bentley hung out at home. 

You couldn’t say you were entirely too surprised that you’d all ended up falling asleep on the couch though, finally leaving the house in the afternoon, with plans for shopping and grabbing dinner out, before you came home to take the dogs out for your regular evening walk, Tyler pulling the stroller out of the trunk, while you got Bentley out of his carseat, reaching to grab his diaper bag. “Look how cute these are,” you said, tucking what were maybe the smallest sunglasses you’d ever seen onto Bentley’s face. 

“Awe, you got shades, dude?” Tyler asked, “I like them.”

“I don’t know if he’ll keep them on or not,” you said, “But they’re so cute, I can’t.”

You were honestly pretty happy when Tyler offered to take a picture before you tucked Bentley into his stroller, a grin on Tyler’s face as he looked flipped through the photos on his phone, and you felt like you could read his thoughts. “Such a stud.”

“You can post it to your story,” you said.

“Instagram?” Tyler asked, like he was a little surprised, but you could tell he was happy about it, too. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, he makes me happy,” you said, tucking his wubbanub in next to him as you started to walk. “And I think he might make other people, too.”

“Well, duh,” Tyler said, already going to post it quickly, his fingers sliding along the keys, and then slipped his phone underneath into one of the pockets on the diaper bag, like he wanted to stay in the present. “Where do you want to go first?" 

"Swimsuits,” you answered, one hand on the stroller, the other sliding into Tyler’s. “Get that over with first.”

“Get it over with?” he laughed, “I don’t know, watching you try on swimsuits sounds fun to me.”

It wasn’t, because it never really was, and you weren’t really even sure what fits your body quite right now, everything having changed already. But you really wanted to have a bathing suit, even though Tyler had insisted that you pretty much did not need one for sitting in the hot tub with him, but he did agree that it would be a good idea for you to have one so that you could go in the pool with Bentley at his mom’s house this summer, for splashing in the lake, too, maybe. 

You had an idea that Tyler would make it fun, though, and usually he would teasingly complain about going shopping with you and other girls, although you knew he secretly was okay with it, but this whole thing had actually been his whole idea. It had been so long you thought, since you’d stepped into a store that greeted you with a whole table full of panties with him, not since he was trying to convince Kirsten to buy the skimpiest thongs like a teenage boy does. You’d almost been intimidated by him back then, not because you had hidden feelings for him, but because he seemed so much more comfortable and confident in himself than you did.

But he’d still go and get you other sizes before the sales associate did.

Now, though, there was hardly any distance between you, his hand on yours, only slipping away when the sales associate greeted you first, and then him.

“You are way, way too young to be in a place like this,” Tyler whispered to Bentley, sliding his hand over the baby’s eyes briefly as if to shield them, and you laughed, steering the stroller back to where the bathing suits were, taking a deep breath as you tried to contemplate whether you were going to be a two piece or a one piece girl now. 

“What do you like?” You asked Tyler, who merely gave you a little half smile.

“All of them?" 

At least if he wasn’t helping with that, though, he was keeping Bentley entertained, pushing the stroller back and forth and interacting with him, acting like he’d easily stay there all day waiting for you. 

You could hear laughter from other women in the dressing room, the music playing as you pulled on a one piece with what hadn’t seemed like much of a deep v when you grabbed it but looked more pornstar esque on you, quickly stripping that off and pulling on a tribal patterned one piece, with a high neck, pulling it around your chest, opening the door and looking for Tyler, tiptoeing towards the open expanse of the store, spotting him pushing the stroller through the racks of pyjamas. 

"Tyler,” you whisper yelled, his head turning to look at you, eyes unabashedly running down your legs. 

“I need help,” you mouthed, and now he directed the stroller back towards the fitting room area, leaning over the stroller when he got close. 

“What? You don’t think it fits?" 

"No, it’s fine, I just don’t know how I would breastfeed with this, and I grabbed a bunch of stuff with this high top thing because I thought it would hold stuff in? I don’t know.”

Tyler gave you a little smile. “Do you want me to grab you some other ones?”

“Would you?” You asked, hopefully, because you had visions of trying to juggle everything, with Bentley getting fussy, Tyler having to take him outside. 

“Yes,” he laughed, pausing for a moment, eyes wandering again, stepping in towards you, his thumb rubbing over your hip bone, pushing up the band of the swimsuit, revealing the faded purple mark that had appeared after that encounter after Canada Day in his bathroom, saying in a soft voice as he rubbed his thumb back and forth, a sharp contrast to how he’d given it to you, “Did I do that?" 

"Mhm,” you said, even though if you had your head together you could have made smartass remark that, no, it was your other boyfriend. “You have, like, a thing for that,” you said, although this was definitely a new thing, like he wouldn’t dare leave marks on you before you were his and he was yours.

“Whoops,” Tyler said, like he was actually a wee bit remorseful, his hand running down the back of his hat, and then into around the back of his neck, “I mean, I wouldn’t be mad if you gave me a hickey back.”

“Okay,” you said softly, giving him a look with your eyes that he should go, because there were teenage girls and you were supposed to be adults, not,half wanting to pull him back into the dressing room with you for a moment, to give him a kiss like you wouldn’t dare in the bright light of the store. 

“Okay,” Tyler said, turning with the stroller now, “See, this is what guys have to do when they go shopping with girls, you can’t just sit there, you’ve got all these errands to run.”

You shared a look with the sales associate, still smiling when you went back into the dressing room, thinking about them walking around together like you had pictured them hanging out together practically the entire time you were getting your massage.

“Babe?” you heard Tyler call, and you responded, seeing another group of bathing suits being tossed over the door, opening the door yourself once you had the next option on, looking out towards the store, but instead seeing Tyler with Bentley on his lap and looking at his phone turned sideways in hand, and you could see some sort of cartoon playing on his phone in the reflection in the mirror. 

“Wow,” he said, while you were looking at the dark blue and white striped suit two piece, which you didn’t quite feel comfortable in, Tyler’s hands sliding over Bentley’s ears. “That’s like straight MILF.”

You felt your face flush, even thought his words were meant to be teasing. “I just don’t know about the top,” you said again, because you could foresee Bentley pulling at the straps of the halter tie once he was big enough, and Tyler tilted his head. 

“Mmm…the bottoms are definitely good though,” he said, looking back up at your face again, bouncing the baby on his lap. “Bentley saw this one with flowers all over it that’s all one piece. It’s in the pile.”

“Yeah,” you said, “I had picked that one out, too, I just haven’t tried it on yet.”

“Look, you got good taste,” Tyler said to Bentley, and you went back in, trying on the one piece with ruffles around the straps and the chest, making you feel a little like you were covered up and could actually move and play in the water, but it was cut a little higher around the ass like the last suit that Tyler liked, Tyler drifting Bentley’s chin up to look to you when came out of the dressing room, “Wow, you think Mama looks pretty?”

You smiled, because this you could see yourself hanging out in the pool in, Tyler standing up with Bentley as you looked at yourself in the mirror, Tyler’s one hand coming up and going down into the top of the suit, palming at your breast before you could even realize what he was doing. 

“Tyler!” you whisper yelled, looking around as if people could see you.

“What?” he asked, carefully removing your hand. “I’m just testing to make sure you can feed the kid, I’m helping.”

“Okay,” you laughed, ready to just get the suit and move on to more fun shopping things, like dresses and shorts, looking for something for Bentley to wear that would commemorate your trip, like the onesie Tyler had bought him home for Texas. So, you were a little surprised when you opened the door again and Tyler was standing there with a black suit, that had a high neckline again, but sheer panelling down the centre of the swimsuit and around the waistline. 

“I was gonna get this one, I don’t want the high neckline.”

“I know, not to buy, I just wanted to see what it looked like on you?” he asked, innocently enough. “Please?”

“Okay,” you said, taking the suit from him, and going back into the fitting room, tossing the suit you were planning to buy over the handle of the stroller. You pulled it on, and you weren’t gonna lie, it looked good, though it wouldn’t typically be something you would pick out and would definitely be impractical, even though it really didn’t show an impressive amount of skin. When you came back out, though, Tyler’s eyes were dark as he swept over your body, briefly pulling his lips together like he was concentrating on something, making a little motion for you to turn around and you obliged, not even caring who saw. 

“Yeah,” Tyler said, his voice coming out a little high and wispy, before he cleared his throat. “You should definitely get something like that sometimes, yeah.”

He gave you kind of a curious look, and you tried to hide the smile when you thought about the dress that you’d packed for your date, which was kind of similar in a way, because you wanted something that was sexy and yet appropriate enough for when you had your three month old in tow. And it was kind of hard to figure out what Tyler found sexy, because he seemed to like you in anything and everything. 

Luckily, the more adult thoughts that were coming into your mind seemed to disappear when you changed back into the clothes you’d came in, finding Tyler holding Bentley in front of the mirror, letting him check himself out. He turned when he saw your reflection, and your heart melted all over again when you saw Bentley’s little sunglasses hanging out of Tyler’s shirt next to his, the top of his tattoo peeking out over top. "Why are you looking at my chest like that?“ 

"I was looking at the sunglasses,” you said, “it’s cute.”

“Mmm…well then I’ll remember to put them on them if it’s bright when we go outside,” Tyler said, smiling like he had it all figured out. 

You honestly weren’t even sure now if you had needed to bring the stroller, because Tyler ended up just carrying Bentley while you pushed it and went into Roots, picking out a little shirt for Bentley that said “Everyone Loves Canadian Boys” which Tyler seemed to think was quite true, and a little tank top romper, which Tyler seemed to think was a bit ridiculous, but you pointed out that it was really the only time in his life that he could actually wear it and look cute, and you thought it was summery and adorable.

Honestly, it was so much easier shopping with Bentley then you’d initially thought, especially with Tyler being able to carry him around, because there were so many things for him to look at, that he couldn’t not be entertained, so you really appreciated that he would just kind of walk back and forth from the fitting room with him, taking him for little walks around the store, and you felt satisfied in that you could get some things to add to your wardrobe, shorts you could actually button up that didn’t feel like you were trying to stuff yourself into. You were glad that you were done, though, because he was starting to get a little fussy, and you could hear him crying on and off in the store, which was honestly making you feel like you were getting close to needing to find somewhere to feed him pretty damn soon.

You swore you could hear Tyler talking to someone when you came out of the fitting rooms, him standing next to the stroller and holding Bentley now, talking to a couple girls you didn’t recognize, but could tell from the looks on their faces that they were fans, and you heard them ask if they could get a picture, which happened sometimes, but it hadn’t happened since you’d been a thing, nor while he was holding your baby. Tyler’s eyes bouncing back and forth from Bentley to them, like he was trying to formulate his thoughts, shifting the baby in his arms. "I..uh…can’t right now,“ he said, making a motion with his hand. "I can sign something for you though, you got a pen? Or I think..”

He was looking down at the diaper bag, likely knowing that you always had a pen in your purse always, and you quicken your steps, closing the gap between you easily. “Here, I got him,” you said, taking Bentley into your arms, Tyler giving you an appreciative glance, and you shifted Bentley off to the side, holding your hand out. "Do you want me to take it?“

Somehow, you managed to do it all, getting a clear shot, smiling as the girls thanked you, their enthusiasm contagious, and yet kind of feeling a little like you should be standing off to the side with the baby as he talked for just a minute longer, Tyler’s arms slowly moving onto your lower back as they said goodbye and wished him luck for next season, moving with you so you could go and grab the items you had decided on, Tyler taking the stroller this time while you kept Bentley, feeling like he was going to get upset if you tried to put him down or give him back to Tyler now that you were holding him. 

"He saw a store that he wanted to go to,” Tyler said, tickling at Bentley’s side. 

“Oh did he?” you laughed.

“Uh-huh, a store with stuffed animals,” Tyler said, nodding across the street. “We had to go outside for a bit, he was not into looking at the clothes.”

“Okay,” you laughed, shifting back and forth. “Then I think we’re gonna have to go find somewhere so he can eat.”

“There’s like a bench down there by the water,” Tyler said, nodding down to the end of shopping complex after you’d held the door open so he could get the stroller through. “If that works, or we can go back to the car?”

“No, that’s perfect,” you said, your pinky finger finding his again, going into what you assumed was the québécois version of Build-a-Bear. And, obviously, he was way, way too young to even be interested in stuffed animals like this or understand anything that was going on around him, but you were damn excited to actually have someone to take into these kinda stores. “Woah, look at all the animals. There’s bears and penguins, and monkeys, and kitties.”

“And a dragon,” Tyler said, taking care to fly it in front of Bentley, who smiled, although you weren’t sure if it was because of the toy or because of the sound effects that Tyler was making. 

“Oh my god, babe, look,” you said, “they have a black lab, no stores ever have black labs, it’s Cash." 

And you knew, because he had stuffed puppies that were brown and yellow, and even blue, but nothing black, already bending down to pick it up because you didn’t even care how much it was, he needed it in his collection. 

"Do you like it?” Tyler asked Bentley, “Is that your Cash doggy?”

“He needs it,” you said, as if Tyler was even going to argue with you about it, smiling at you. And Tyler ended up being the one to get it for him, because Bentley decided he wasn’t willing to wait any longer to eat, meeting you at the bench when you were already all set up to feed him, nestling the little black labrador in Bentley’s spot in the stroller, Tyler coming to sit down next to you, staring out at the water. Because sometimes it was just so freaking easy with him, both of you just moving around the baby like you didn’t even have to communicate about his care.

It was really peaceful, until Tyler’s lips went to your temple and then brushing your neck as you sat in the comfortable silence. “Mmm….don’t..kiss me there when I’m feeding the baby.”

“What? You don’t like it?”

“No, no, I do,” you said quickly, because you could see Tyler’s mind flying through all the times he’d kissed you on the neck. “Too much.”

“Oh,” Tyler said, knowingly, his eyes meeting yours with a smile. “'K.”

But you didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t touch you while you were nursing, even though you were close enough that you were sure that Bentley’s foot was brushing against Tyler’s side, resting your free hand on his leg, Tyler giving you a bit of a look, reaching for your hand and moving it closer to his knee. "What? You’re not the only one whose allowed to have feelings.“

"Oh,” you said, quietly, and Tyler stuck his tongue out at you, but his hand remained in yours, holding it. And it was maybe kinda 10 minutes later, after you’d talked about where you were going to go to dinner, that he leaned forward to grab his phone, setting it up to capture nothing other than his hand in yours, the light reflecting of the water and the path in the background, typing LOML with one hand, and using his thumb to push the button to send it to his Instagram Story, sliding his phone back away.

“LOML?” you said, “What is LOML?”

He gave you a strange look, lips quirked in amusement, laughing. "Love of my life.“

"Really?” you asked, feeling a little short of breath.

“Yeah,” he said, turning his head so he could connect his lips with yours. “Duh. You know that.”


	65. Chapter 65

There had been a part of you that was a little unsure about just how romantic your time away would be, with having to have the baby with you, and with a house full of dogs, still, like it would feel a little more like every other day.

You were wrong.

Really, Bentley just came along with you everywhere, held in the wrap against you while you went wine tasting, or in the baby carrier Tyler while you explored lighted forest hikes, or do you could hold hands when you took the dogs out for adventures. You had gotten it pretty much down to a science how to take him out to eat for dinner, so you weren’t as nervous as you might have been to take him with you to a nice restaurant as you might have been.

You were currently in the ensuite of the bathroom that you’d all been sleeping in, leisurely taking the time to do your hair and make-up, while Tyler was in one of the other bedrooms with Bentley, dressing him in the body suit that you brought for him, a little button up because it was the fanciest thing you had for him at him, and you couldn’t wait to see him in it.

Or see Tyler.

In fact, you kind of felt butterflies in your stomach, like this actually was a first date or that you hadn’t just seen him a mere twenty minutes before. Not to mention the fact that you’d spent last evening watching a moving with that baby that you’d made together snuggled up with you and the dogs on the couch, or that you’d tag teamed giving him a bath earlier.

You still didn’t even know if he’d have any opinion about kissing you with lipstick on, although for some reason you felt like he’d complain that lip gloss was too sticky.

You smiled when you heard a whine at the door, walking in your bra and panties to open it and let Marshall in, shutting it back behind him, his wet nose brushing your bare leg. With Cash needing to be so attached to Bentley and Gerry needing to be wherever the action was, it was usually Marshall who attached himself to you. 

"What’s up?“ You asked,and he backed up, wagging his tail at you and

letting out a bark. "Do they look good?”

You glanced at yourself in the mirror again, your eyes looking bright and your smile easy, even though you probably should be looking more sleep deprived. 

It turned out the combination of falling in love and have a beautiful baby boy was a wonderful way to feel completely blissed out even when there had to be a part of you that was exhausted.

You also hadn’t foreseen yourself pulling on a black dress like this so soon, fairly plain and classic but you liked the shape that it gave you, the zipper and cutouts on the back really made it a date night dress, especially with jewelry and heels. 

“Hey, babe?” You called out down the hall, holding the door open just a little. “Can you zip me when you’re ready?”

“We’ve been ready for hours,” you heard Tyler’s voice came down from the hall, and then a little knock on the door, like it wasn’t open. “We’ve just been waiting for you.”

You laughed under your breath, putting your earrings in as he came into the room, your eyes moving down the crisp white shirt on his arm arm to his watch, to where his hand was supported Bentley, Bentley’s wide eyes finding you.

"Oh, you look so handsome,“ you cooed, getting a little smile, your hand going to slide through his hair before you stopped, laughing. "Did you put gel in his hair?”

“I tried to, he wanted to get all cleaned up for you,” Tyler said, his hand combing through Bentley’s hair, “He doesn’t have quite enough yet, though.”

“No,” you said, yet it was adorable to see his hair pushed back like Tyler’s was, a vision of what they might look like together in the future : your two boys. 

“I did the same thing to mine, too, you know?” Tyler said, moving to lay Bentley down on the bed, “no one’s telling me I’m handsome.”

“No, you look good,” you said, inching towards him, “You look hot.”

“Don’t talk to me like that with your sons in the room,” Tyler said, his voice low and teasing, lips tilted up in a smile, hands easing around you but still keeping you at a bit of a distance so you didn’t get distracted, you could only assume. His hands went to your cheek, thumb sweeping under your eye, and you didn’t even care when his fingers moved through your hair, even though you’d actually done your hair for the first time in months. 

“Mmmm…don’t let Gerry in,” you said, sneaking a quick kiss before you went to shut the door, your dress still half completely open in the back, straps starting to drift down your shoulders. 

“Why not?” Tyler laughed, “Marshall’s allowed to watch you get dressed like a creep, but you lock the puppy out?”

“He’s white,” you said, and Tyler gave you a weird look. 

“Oh, so you’re racist now?”

“I meant for my dress,” you said, moving to hit him across the back on his arm since he was laughing at you, thankful that you could hear Gerry now running through the house, likely thinking that it was a game.

“Mmm..I love you all covered in dog hair though,” Tyler said, stepping into you once more. trying like hell to slip his hands around your back and do your dress up like that, but there were two zippers due to there being a cut-out, and the dress was the snuggest thing you’d put yourself into since being pregnant, meaning that you’d definitely need to turn around and have this thing done up properly. He huffed against your neck, hands moving to your shoulders to turn you around, fingers playing in that dip along your spine, and you half expected him to snap your bra or something, yet he zipped you up very slowly and gently, in a way that almost made you shiver. "You know, I don’t even like dogs, I just got them because I know you do.“

"Oh, whatever,” you laughed, both of you looking at Cash and Marshall surrounding the bed like the best guard dogs, knowing that if Gerry was in there, he’d just be likely trying to cover Bentley in kisses, or try to make this little creature play with him.

Tyler’s arms ran up your side and your shoulders again, moving you around to face him, and now he took a step back, letting himself really look you over. “Wow,” he said, his voice coming out in a whisper, running his hand over his beard. "Yeah, wow. You look incredible.“

"Yeah?” you asked, because part of you still couldn’t believe that he was that attracted to you, not because you didn’t feel it, but because a part of you couldn’t believe that he’d found you attractive for so many years. Even though he’d told you you looked pretty or that you looked hot before you heading out on a date, you didn’t feel it the same way you did now.

“Like all those dates you’ve been on, and I get the sexy dress,” he said, like he’d been thinking the same thing, lips turned up a little in a smile. You’d taken care of that, too, because you kind of didn’t want to wear anything you’d worn on a night out before, because he’d probably already seen it all. Not to mention the fact that your whole life was different now.

“Is it too…?” you asked, a little uncertain still.

“No,” Tyler interjected. “No, it’s perfect. It’s really too bad I don’t put out on the first date, because I’d do you.”

“This is not our first date,” you repeated, again, because you’d been out to eat practically every night, Tyler giving you a smirk like you were only just saying that to try and get in his pants, when really you were mostly just wanting to reaffirm how amazing he treated you. 

“No, that was just friends grabbing dinner,” he said, looking at you once more. “This is like our first adult time date.”

You looked at him, frowning at you a little, thumb sweeping in and under your eye, curiously wiping something off. “You’ve got like black stuff,” he said, his touch as gentle as when he wiped Bentley’s face off. 

“Is it mascara?”

Tyler shrugged, making a noise like he didn’t know, pulling back once he was satisfied. 

“I think it’s all dried up, I haven’t really worn make-up in months,” you said. Not really since your baby shower, or that quick bit of make-up you’d hastily applied when Tyler surprised you at the hospital, like he cared what you’d look like when you were trying to birth a baby.

.

“Yeah, I love the no makeup look,” Tyler said, his eyes looking rather dreamy and then he blinked, shaking his head. “I mean, not that this isn’t good, this is great-”

“I know what you mean,” you laughed, because you got it too, the way that he looked after waking up, hair hanging in his eyes, sleepy and yet happy, in a way that not everyone got to see, looking him over now, dress shoes and watch. “Same. Like when I was in Dallas, and you came down in that suit, I-”

Now Tyler gave you an interesting look. “Is that why you were breathing so weird?” he asked, and you nodded, a little timid, but if he was allowed to have been attracted to you back then, you were too. And it wasn’t like you were sleeping with anyone other than each other then, anyways. "Babe, I seriously thought something was wrong with you, I was worried.“

"I told you I was fine,” you said, now starting to feel bad because you knew how if he worried about you, it’d be hard for him to keep you off his mind, and you never wanted to be the cause of him losing focus. 

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me you were hot for me,” he grinned, like he didn’t have hoards of woman telling him how hot he was on a daily basis, greedy to keep hearing it from you. “Like, you coulda just said something, we could have made out.”

“We were not -”

“Yeah, we were totally kissing and stuff,” he said cockily, and you somehow managed to blush at the memory of him kissing you goodbye all those times, which was definately not part of the initial arrangement that you’d made, nor falling back into good sex, like you’d initially thought it might be. “You just mostly wanted in my pants, but whatever, you still coulda just asked for sex.”

“I was hormonal!”

“Nah, I think you were just horny for me,” Tyler said, laughing with a smirk, scratching the back of his head as he shifted, like he thought you might hit him, your face flaming red despite the fact that it was totally in your rights now to want to climb on top of him, that you could check him out in a suit with your only worry about him catching you with a grin and shaking his ass back and forth.

“Okay, go get your shoes on before you get too distracted by me,” Tyler said, “And I need to figure out what suit I was wearing that night so I can buy fifteen more like it.”

It was hard, though, to focus on doing up the little clasps on your heels, especially when Tyler was just so easily getting Bentley all snug in his car seat, slipping him into the backseat with efficiency, looking just absolutely so natural in the way that he cared for him. You had honestly never realized just how much you had wanted to make him a dad, suddenly understanding how he’d barely even had to think about making you a mom.

His hand was settled on your bare back when you walked into the restaurant, Bentley in your arms, slightly taken aback when you noticed a couple of diners glancing at you out of the corner of their eyes having a lovely, romantic, candlelit dinner, half wondering if this place even had a changing table, although that kind of all just melted away when you heard Tyler’s voice saying “Seguin for two,” smiling when he clarified that it was really three, shooting a glance towards the baby, your whole body warming up deliciously.

And it seemed that he’d thought ahead, because the maitre-d helped to actually bring the stroller to the table for you, cleared away like you had enough room, and you were pretty much certain that with the soft murmurs of voices and the dim, flickering of the candlelight that Bentley would relax into sleep, and if you needed to nurse him or step out like you had when you were out a couple nights ago, that’d be okay, too.

The bit of stiffness that you felt relaxed even more when Tyler subtlety moved past the maitre-d again, pulling out the chair for you before you could, making a show about helping you to settle into your seat, even with the baby on your lap, checking to make sure the candle was out of his reach.

“Wine, babe?” Tyler asked, looking up at you where he was looking at the menu, one hand laid easily on the table, and you found yourself staring at it, kind of wishing that you had a free hand to be able to extend across the table towards him, although you weren’t entirely mad about the little hands laying on top of yours. You realized that he was still waiting for an answer, though, and you nodded, your glass of wine now being something that you looked forward to in the evenings, especially curled up on the couch with Tyler, or on the back deck, staring up at the stars. "And what do you want, bud?“

You smiled at the way that Bentley shifted in your arms in response to Tyler’s voice, perfectly content, Tyler ducking his head to try and meet Bentley’s eyes. "He’s totally transfixed on this candle.”

“Is he?" 

"Uh-huh,” Tyler said, deftly sliding his phone out of his pocket, leaning it against the table as he took a video, and then leaning across the table to show it to you, both of you kind of lost in watching his expression in the video, when your wine was delivered. 

“Are you ready to order?” The waiter asked, and you realized you hadn’t even picked up the menu yet, nor attempted to decipher things like what compressed watermelon or tomato sorbet was, deferring to you as the female, when really you were sort of hoping that Tyler would go first. Or kind of take the lead like he had with the wine, only asking whether you’d wanted white or red, and then giving you a couple of suggestions, firing off little tidbits that you’d picked up from your wine tasting the other day.

“Just a few more minutes,” Tyler said, looking at you out of the corner of his eye with a smile, gently sliding your wine glass towards your free hand, tapping his against yours with a little rise of his eyebrows, a soft smile as he took a sip of his red wine. You were still watching him as he eased back in his seat, taking a look at the menu now, and you kept your eyes on him, making a halfhearted attempt to reach for your own menu, just beginning to move your eyes over the words, when Tyler’s eyes met yours with a look of mild alarm.

“The menu’s in French,” he said in a hushed whisper, and you had to bite the inside of your lip trying not to laugh, because Tyler half looked like he was ready to get up and walk out right then and there.

“Well, you took French,” you said, calmly, looking the menu over yourself, thankful for the simple language.

“No, I didn’t,” Tyler said, scrunching his nose up. 

“Yes, you did,” you confirmed, “We all had to.”

“No, you took my French class for me,” Tyler said, and now you could remember him crowded around you at lunch, frantically writing down all the answers. “And I still got a C- because of all those presentations and shit, I’m pretty sure I only passed because of you. And I think that hot French teacher had a thing for me.”

“Oh my god,” you said, Tyler grinning at you.

“Hey, I never said I was interested,” he said, “Although I would totally listen to you ramble on about Durkheim or whatever.”

“How do you know about Durkheim?” you asked, a smile creeping onto your face.

“I listen to you,” he said smugly, his eyes playfully connecting with yours, and you could see the reflection of the light in them, bringing out all the different little flecks of colours, like they did when he was happy, running a hand over his beard in second thought. “Is that how you say his name? Or her name?”

“His,” you clarified, “And it’s perfect.”

“‘K, so what do you want to eat?” Tyler asked, leaning over to look at your menu, as if you had the answers hidden, explaining that “Écrasé de rabiole, carottes, champignons, sauce bordelaise” meant the steak was served with radish, carrots, and mushrooms with a bordelaise sauce, Tyler hanging off every word.

“You sound super hot speaking French,” he said, his eyes dark now, and you felt a little taken aback, blushing a bit, because it was something he used to roll his eyes at.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm, it’s a thing,” he said, decidedly, shifting his body like he was uncomfortable. You decided to share the steak, and the seafood platter, which was perfect by you because you were having enough trouble making a decision, and you knew that you’d likely end up eating off each other’s plates anyways. Tyler ordered for you both, while you were trying to give Bentley his pacifier as he was starting to get a little restless in your arms, and you were beginning to wonder if you should get up and try to rock him a bit before the food was ready, Tyler adding in little pieces of French words with the order, and glancing at you, all while you tried not to laugh. And when he was done, he sat back in his seat, letting out a little content sigh as he just looked at you, the world still for a moment.

And yet you were still kind of thinking about earlier.

“You look so proud of yourself,” you laughed, because he had a little smug look on his face.

“Well, didn’t you hear my pronunciation?” he said, and you grinned, letting out a surprised laugh. 

“You’ve gotten much better.”

“You’re a good teacher,” Tyler said, lacing his hands together. “You’re good at helping people get their lives together.”

Your whole body warmed up at the way that he looked at you. “Well, I didn’t know what I wanted to do,” you said, because when you finished your Bachelor’s degree, leaving the world of academia had seemed so overwhelming, because that was your safe spot, where you could so easily be successful, and it was easy to go for your Master’s, even with that worry about what you’d do after raining down on you, so you’d somehow made a career out of helping others figure that out for themselves. And, somehow, Tyler had been the only one to listen to you drone over and over as you tried to work it through without trying to give you his own advice, even if he somehow rubbed his thumb over the bridge of his nose like you were giving him a headache.

But he’d still listened to every word.

“Yeah, you did,” he said easily, like he had all the faith in you in the world. 

“I kind of miss it, a bit,” you confessed, already, because it had given you so much purpose for so many years, and you kind of liked getting up, and dressed in your work clothes, and heading off for the day. But you also loved lazy mornings stretched out on the living room floor, helping Bentley learn and grow, like only you could do. "I don’t know how I’m going to be able to leave this guy, though,“ you said, kissing Bentley on the back of his head. "Like, I kind of just want to set a playpen up in my office and have him there with me.”

Tyler gave you a soft smile. “Well, you’ve still got a year to figure that all out.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you said.

“Sorry, what? Can you say that again?” he asked, laughing like you were an old married couple, giving you a look, and you grinned, your foot easing against his under the table. You were still smiling at each other when your appetizer came, a stack of tomato and basil, and mozzarella, that should have been simple, but that almost looked to pretty to eat, Tyler looking at you as he spun the plate. “Things have kinda changed, huh? From pooling our money together to get cheap pizza for movie nights? Or those giant tubs of ice cream? ”

" Yeah, “ you laughed, remembering the way his mom always seemed to have sprinkled and chocolate sauce, your mom offering up chocolate chips, and sometimes bags of mini M&M’s, "I still like getting cheap pizza with you, though.”

"Same,“ Tyler said, using his fork to take a small slice of everything, tasting it, and then gathering up a bigger bite, meaning across the table to offer it to you, you easily taking the bite. He seemed to be doing that quite often, feeding you a spoonful here and there, usually because you were holding the baby, but it made you feel cared for, in the same way you’d make sure that he had a bottle of water in his hand when Bentley fell asleep on his chest. "He’s going down,” Tyler said, nodding towards Bentley and you shifted to look at him, his head rolling a bit, and you moved your hand quickly to support his head, Tyler laughing. “He is so done.”

You smiled at Tyler, carefully standing up, Tyler using his foot to inch the stroller towards you, gently laying the baby down and then ever so slowly removing your hands. Bentley shifted, and you froze, watching as he squirmed, extending his hands up towards his arm, giving a couple of smiles in his sleep. You watched him for a couple more breaths, and then reached around the back, using his blanket to cover the bassinet part of his stroller. When you turned back, Tyler had his hand extended out towards you for a fist bump, and you grinned, pressing your knuckles against his.

"He was trying to hang, but he just couldn’t handle it,“ Tyler said, doing his best imitation of trying his hardest to keep his eyes open, complete with the little bob of the head, and now you stretched you slid the candle across the table, reaching your right hand into his left.

"He’s sleeping with his hands up by his face,” you said, and Tyler smiled, already knowing what he looked like, looking at your hands, and then picking you up another bite, the second fork still untouched. You closed your eyes as you tasted the fresh tomato bursting in your mouth alongside the creamy mozzarella, the basil and the balsamic drizzle so incredible light. "That cheese is, like, amazing,“ you said, something which you often didn’t eat anymore, savoring the flavor. 

Tyler laughed at your enjoyment, thumb rubbing back and forth across your hand, both of you leaning across the table towards each other, breaking only when you were done sharing your appetizer, the waiter discreetly removing the empty plate. With your hand free for a moment, you took a sip of your wine, Tyler drowning a moment and then sliding to the edge of his seat, peeking under the blanket, moving to shift it back into place. 

"Was he making noise?” you asked, once tyler seemed satisfy rd and he pursed his lips and then shook his head. 

"No, he’s fine,“ Tyler said, moving back, "He’s sleeping. I think someone’s taking pictures.”

"What? “ you asked, in alarm, looking behind Tyler, searching for a phone in someone’s hands.

"Shh…shhh, don’t look,” Tyler laughed, trying to calm you with his eyes. And now you were trying to keep your eyes on him, subtly checking in your peripheral vision, but he gave you a knowing glance, and you only widened your eyes in response, your fingers finding their way to the top of your dress, adjusting it. “It happens sometimes, it’s okay,” he said, taking another sip of his wine, eyebrows raised like he was trying to suggest that he loves the attention.

"Yeah, well, with you,“ you said, now looking back at forth at the stroller, glancing down at your dress, ever so clear that you were on a date. 

"He’s covered, they’re not taking a picture of him, I checked, ” Tyler said easily, setting the wine glass down on the table and setting his arm back on the table and for the first time, you thought twice before reaching out to take it, the stroller suddenly seeming large and cumbersome next to you. 

"Yeah, but it’s, like obvious.“

"What’s obvious?” Tyler asked, shaking his head slightly to indicate he wasn’t following.

"That you’re not alone,“ you said, choosing your words carefully now, like you were worried about being overheard and misconstrued, noting, now, that he didn’t say that they weren’t taking a picture of you. "Like obviously we’re together.”

“We are together, yes,” Tyler said, an amused smile on his face, leaning towards you so that you could easily just close the gap and kiss him, and now you felt your eyes dart out, about who could be watching.

“But there’s a baby,” you said, looking at the stroller once again, and then back at Tyler, “And they know who I am.”

“Babe,” Tyler said firmly, his voice grounding you, “What in the hell are you talking about?”

His eyes were searching yours, and you took a deep breath, trying to catch all the thoughts in your head that were swirling. “People are already speculating that you’re with me,” you said, “Like, they know everything about me.”

“What?” Tyler asked, “You mean, like on Instagram?”

“Yeah,” you said. It had started quite innocently, really, with you just wanting to see that story that Tyler had posted with Bentley on his story, and then your heart warmed seeing the picture of your hands help together, and the next thing you knew, you were going to his profile page, scrolling through his feed, and it was then you saw the comments. And it was what you had expected, initially, comments that he he’d forgotten to wrap it, and now he was stuck with a baby and a girl, and how much of his salary would now be left to child support, or just straight up messages of congratulations, followed by people arguing in the comments saying the baby wasn’t his, that it was his friend’s. And while you’d been worried about this before, but that was before you had even imagined being with him. And even though Tyler hadn’t straight up posted a picture of you, there were comments about this relationship on there, too. Speculations that he wouldn’t ever be able to settle down, or tags of girls complaining that he was off the market. You knew, of course, that his notifications were filled with girls commenting about his looks or his body, blatantly hitting on him as you could only imagine one would do behind the screen, but you never paid it any mind, not when you were just his friend, and especially not now. But that didn’t mean that you didn’t know about his hook-ups, but he’d never really talked about it with you, never left you abandoned you when you were out with him, and most of the time that you actually visited him either in Dallas or in Boston was spent on his couch, watching T.V. until you fell asleep, or him taking you to the favourite restaurants that he’d discovered.

He’d never hurt you.

You’d at least managed to stop short of googling “Tyler Seguin girlfriend”, your mind circling with ideas that he’d been forced into making his relationship public, or that he’d been trapped with a baby, or that you’d been left pregnant and alone, and your friend had to swoop in and pick up the pieces.

You had to remind yourself that this was what he had chosen, holding yourself back from jumping in there to defend him because they didn’t even freaking know him. 

“I thought we agreed no phones on this trip other than taking pictures of the baby?” Tyler laughed, hand running over the back of his neck, like he was trying to make light of it.

“I was up feeding the baby, you were sleeping,” you said, a little sheepishly and he laughed at you, probably thinking that he would be the one who would have a hard time staying away from social media. “And I know you didn’t say it was me, but some people are guessing.”

“Well, if you went by what people on the internet say, then we’ve been sleeping together for like, five, six years,” Tyler said, squinting his eyes.

“What?” you asked, in shock. And now you were thinking about what might be said about you: that you were a push-over, letting him have an open relationship because it was the only thing you could get, or that he was using you. And also because you, five or six years ago, would have found the idea that you were sleeping with Tyler absolutely absurd.

Things had changed.

“People on the internet are gonna say stuff, babe, it doesn’t matter,” Tyler said. 

“No, I know,” you said, looking back at the stroller briefly wondering if hockey players had to deal with TMZ. “It’s just, if we’re out, and we’ve got Bentley with us-”

“I would never let anyone take a picture of him,” Tyler interjected, “or touch him.”

He was serious, too, and you believed him, because this was his world, and he seemed to pick up on the things you didn’t, knowing when people recognized him.

“I know you wouldn’t,” you said, “I just don’t know how to handle this, how we should - I don’t want you to get a reputation.”

Tyler let out a surprised little laugh, his previous concern about you being upset about what people were saying about you melting away. “Yeah, it’s totally bad PR to take a woman you’re in a committed relationship with and your baby out to eat,” Tyler said, “Teams hate that wholesome shit.”

“Well, I just didn’t know, ” you said.

“Babe,” Tyler said firmly, “I posted that on there because I wanted people to know that I’m with someone. And I’ll post you all damn over there when you’re ready, I don’t care what people think about me, I care about what you think about me. And a little bit my family, but mostly you.”

You felt strangely emotional, the way he was leaning into you. “We can take that part slow, but I don’t care if people see us out to eat or walking down the street or whatever. I want us to just be able to love each other when we’re out, and just, like, focus on us. I don’t care if people are looking.”

You swallowed that lump in your throat, eyeing his hand on the table.

“Unless you suddenly don’t want to be seen with me?” He asked, with a self-deprecating laugh, and you shook your head, realizing you didn’t really care either, your hand moving across the table to take his, his face settling into an easy smile.

He was pretty much all you stated at through the rest of the meal, too, other than the couple of times you checked on Bentley, leaning towards each other like you were the only ones there. And you both had decided you were too full for dessert, instead stopping by one of the bakeries you’d discovered to grab a treat for later, both of you horribly overdressed like the time you’d gone for McFlurries after winter formal. With Bentley awake, you’d gotten a picture of the three of you all dressed up, Bentley held between to two of you, and one where Tyler had surprised you by leaning over to kiss you, both of which you flipped through when you went to sit down by the water for a moment, thinking of how you needed to get these printed and framed, taking a few minutes to walk, looking through the windows of all the little shops, Tyler making fun of you for the flats that you’d packed to slip on in place of your heels.

When you did get finally get back to the dogs, it felt like neither you nor Tyler were in a rush to get out of your nice clothes, lounging on the couch and then sitting on the floor in a way that you were sure would leave wrinkles for both of you, while Bentley and Gerry seemed to get the last bit of their energy out. It wasn’t until Bentley started trying to rub his eyes, a sure sign of sleepiness, that you retreated to the bedroom, changing Bentley into his pajamas while Tyler got his bottle ready for him, meeting him in the hallway so you could hand him over, Tyler holding the baby with one hand while he unzipped your dress for you, which meant that you were back in the room that you’d used for getting changed and that you and Tyler would hang out in before you went to sleep in the other room with Bentley, under the guise that you were pumping. Which you did, but you’d also now pulled on what you’d had hidden deep in the zippered section of your suitcase, leaning in front of the mirror as you pulled your breasts into the cups, your hair pretty much perfectly tousled around your face, and you thanked the stars for the way that your curls had fallen out, your make-up not as intense as it had been earlier in the evening. 

You hadn’t even really known what he’d like, honestly, but assumed he’d enjoy pretty much anything you’d put on, finally deciding on the black lace bustier because it made your feel pulled in and curvy, feminine and sexy in a way that you hadn’t felt for awhile. The accompanying thong was honestly not really much of anything, seeming like sting just to you, but you did at least love the way it showed off your ass and hamstrings, still strong and toned from the running. You had a feeling that Tyler would come find you eventually, and now you were half debating if you should lay out on the bed in some way, feeling a little self-conscious and silly being alone.

“Hey, Babe?" you heard Tyler call, "Do you know where his swaddle is?”

You paused, going through taking it off him this morning, finding it folded on the dresser in front of you. 

“It’s here,” you said, moving to pick it up and going straight for the door, only to remember what you were wearing. 

“'K, are you almost done, or…?” you could hear the changes in his voice, assuming that he was trying to bounce the baby, hearing Bentley’s little fussing noises.

“Yeah, yeah, just one sec,” you said, the swaddle still in your hand, hurriedly looking around the room, your eyes thankfully landing on a robe that was hung in the closet, throwing it on and pulling it shut as you walked quickly, wanting to catch Bentley before he went into a full-blown meltdown. 

At some point, you realized, Tyler had changed into just a pair of shorts, and he had Bentley held against his chest, moving back and forth to try and calm him down, talking softly. But he turned, his eyes running over your figure, his eyebrows raised in question. "Robe?“ he asked, following you to wear you were stashing the milk you’d just pumped in the fridge, ignoring his question. But he still came up, his fingers pulling at the robe, trying to see what you had shielded underneath.

"Tyler, you scolded, pushing his hands away, the dogs rubbing their bodies as they circled your bare legs. 

e counter, 

"What?” he asked, feigning innocence, leaning into you, even as he grabbed as pacifier from the counter.

“Would you just give me him?” you asked, frazzled, and Tyler laughed, him and the dogs trailing after you into the bedroom, where you tossed the blanket onto the bed, pulling the swaddle snug around him, although you caught Tyler with his head tilted to the side, like he was trying to see up under the robe when you bent over. “Would you stop?” you laughed, eyes wide, cradling the little bundle of baby in your arms, rocking him back and forth.

“I just want to make sure he goes to sleep okay,” Tyler said, his arm moving around you as he brought the pacifier to Bentley’s mouth, and then he went and sat down rather obediently on the bed, patting the blankets to encourage the dogs to jump up. “C'mon, it’s bedtime.”

The look he was giving you made it clear that he knew the two of you weren’t going to bed, well, well at least not to sleep, and you wondered how he seemed to be able to sense just what your plans were for the rest of the evening. 

“Did he eat okay?” You asked, moving to lay Bentley down as his eyes started to bat shut, turning the rocking motion on his portable bassinet, and then pushing the button for the wave noises, and you were certain that you noticed Cash’s eyes getting heavy, too. 

“Yeah, he’s tired,” Tyler said, standing up behind you, wrapping his arms around you in a caring way, leaning over, “You’re gonna sleep good, right, buds? We got a deal?”

You pulled away just long enough to run your thumb gently over Bentley’s cheek, grabbing the baby monitor from the dresser. Tyler’s hand ever so softly shutting the door behind you, both of your pausing for noise as you looked into each other’s eyes. 

There was nothing.

“Hi,” Tyler said softly, stepping into you, his arms moving to clasp his hands along the low of your back, but still keeping distance between the two of you.

“Hi,” you responded, closing the gap, pressing your lips to his. You could still taste the wine on his lips, smell the fresh scent of his shampoo, the slightly spicy scent of his soap, warm, and manly, and just…Tyler. Your spare hand reached up to his bare chest, sending a shiver of even more warmth through your body, and you suddenly wanted nothing more than to feel more of his skin against yours. He was leaning into you gently, just your lips moving together, not even getting his tongue involved or moving to press you into the wall but instead supporting you into him, humming contentedly against you. He was surprised you when he pulled back for air, bracing his palm on the wall behind you, shooting you a charming look. 

“So, baby, do you think I could get your number?” he asked, his smile matching yours, hands dropping to hold yours, even with the gigantic baby monitor you had, and you laughed. “I had a really great time tonight.”

“Umm..” you said, shifting your weight back and forth, “I think you can have the key to my house.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow as if he was impressed. “That’s aggressive.”

You laughed with him, feeling his toes cover yours as he stepped closer to you, and you managed to shrug, Tyler laughing as he eased his face into the side of your neck, and you shivered when his lips brushed your sensitive skin, feeling it in your core. He only just inhaled your scent though, and then he kissed you simply, pulling back, and your lips instinctively followed him, half stumbling over his large feet, which Tyler only acknowledged with a giggle, letting you move into him. 

“Hey,” he asked, tilting his head, your hands still in his, not able to stop himself from laughing. “You want to go watch a movie in bed or something? It’s more comfortable than the couch, I know that sounds kinda weird, but….”

“Oh my god,” you laughed, and yet you moved into him.

“Yeah,” he said, moving backwards, and seeming fairly under control until you stepped into the bedroom, where he pulled you inside, shutting the door behind you and kissing you again, pressing your back against the door, leg naturally slotted between yours. He was breathing heavily, already, when he pulled back, hand pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear. "You’re so beautiful,“ he murmured, and you felt it, all that you were able to do was to raise your hand to his shoulder. His hand moved down, skimming the arms of your robe, keeping his gaze on yours as he took the baby monitor out of your hand, setting it on the dresser and flicking it on without even needing to look at it. 

And now you were renewed, pushing yourself away from the door, Tyler’s eyes soft, his smile going a little bit naughty as he reached for the tie on your robe, just toying with it. "Can I…?”

You nodded, feeling strangely cared for with the way that he slipped the robe from your body, letting it pool around your feet, taking a breath before he allowed himself to look down your body. “Oh, hell yeah,” he said, pumping his head a bit, and you laughed again. He wasn’t laughing, though, not with the way his eyes moved up your bare legs, to your hips and over your waist, settling on your breasts and then your face, repeating the cycle. You wanted to feel shy, with the overt way that he was checking you out, circling around your body, clearly on display, but it was even hotter than you’d expected, especially the way you could hear him suck in a breath as he you knew he saw your backside, not even touching you yet, but you could feel him.

When he completed his rotation, he stood in front of you, his lips parting, reaching out to just rub the fabric. “I like this,” he asked, just rubbing the fabric between his thumb and forefinger his voice coming out dry, like he was parched. “Is it new?”

You let out a little surprised “yes,” because it wasn’t like you were going to wear lingerie for him that you’d worn for past boyfriends, especially because Tyler had known and been friendly with both of them. 

It’d be weird. 

“No one’s ever done anything like this for me before,” Tyler said his fingers lightly trailing down to your hips, pads of his fingers just brushing against your skin. 

“Really?” you asked, taken aback, and Tyler just merely nodded, lips still pressed together. 

“I like it,” he repeated, and you made a mental note to make a point to surprise him with a little something special like this for a special occasion, maybe for his birthday, or Valentine’s Day, or a homecoming after a trip. “Did you have this on the whole time?”

“No,” you said, belatedly, because he seemed a little hopeful, your hand moving back onto his arm as you explained yourself. “I thought about it, but if I needed to feed the baby…”

“Yeah, well, I was gonna say, if you were wearing that and I didn’t notice something is wrong with me,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh, quickly forgetting, “Do you think you could though? One time? If we brought bottles?”

“Mhmm…” you responded, simply, only because you couldn’t find words with how dark his eyes were, although you weren’t even entirely sure if you could handle an evening out if he was looking at you with half the intensity that he was now. 

He made a noise of appreciation, deep in his throat, leaning down to kiss you the way you wanted, mouth hot and heavy against yours, and you pulled him to you, every nerve in your body coming alive with the way that he moved his mouth make down to your neck, kissing a hungry trail, his tongue coming out to move along the strap that hung from your shoulders, nibbling and sucking along the swell of your breasts. Your hands went to his sides, though, because he was taking control again like he usually did, and you wanted this to be about him, your hand moving up to his shoulder, kissing him as you moved backwards. He moved easily, pulling you with him, his lips never leaving yours, and you took a moment to pull his bottom lip between yours once the back of his calves hit the mattress. Which you thought would work in your favour, but then he instinctively gripped your ass in his large hand, pulling your hips to his. 

“Mmm…Ty…” you managed, “babe?”

“Mmm?” He asked, hands roaming. “What do you want? Tell me what you want.”

You didn’t answer him,instead pressing your hands against his chest until he sat down on the bed, reaching to pull you into his lap. You didn’t let him, though, instead bracing your legs against the bed, trying to use the leverage to push him back. He went down easy, though, letting you arrange his body how you liked, giving you a greedy grin as you crawled over him, tucking his hands behind his head, and you slid your body up his thighs, pretty sure that he could feel the wetness seeping through, with how much you’d been anticipating this all night. Only when you looked over your shoulder, double checking that the lights on the baby monitor weren’t high enough to let you know the baby wasn’t settling did Tyler’s hand move, tangling in your hair to pull more of it down around your face, fisting in it to pull you down into him, your hips shifting until you were seated over him, feeling him hardening underneath you. Tyler sucked in a deep breath, eyes moving over you, hands roaming, pulling his lip between his teeth.

“I should take a picture of you just like this,” he said, moving like he was going to reach for the nightstand. 

“Don’t you dare,” you said, your hand pressing into his chest, until you could feel him laughing, holding your forearm. 

“Nah, I don’t want anyone to see you like this but me,” he said, his voice deep and possessive, which was hot in a way that you hadn’t imagined. “Seriously, I can’t decide if I want to fuck you with this on, or take it off.”

“You can do whatever you want,” you said, sliding downwards.

“Fuck…” Tyler muttered, your hands following the path of your bodyr, tracing over his hard, defined lines, until you came to the tops of his shorts. 

“I want these off though,” you said, toying with the waistband, watching Tyler gulp. 

“You want me to go put the suit back on so you can take that off?”

“No,” you laughed, although you kind of wanted to take your time with the buttons of his dress shirt, unzipping his pants. But, hopefully, you’d have the opportunity to do that plenty. You eyed his sizable bulge, checking out his body in the way that he checked out yours. 

“Baby,” Tyler pleaded, and you slid backwards on his legs, your fingers slipping beneath the waistband, feeling the warmth of his skin, the light hair of his happy trail, tugging his shorts down while his eyes connected with yours, his cock hard and heavy against his stomach, your body clenching in anticipation. You felt Tyler kick his shorts off the rest of the way, his hands reaching. You leaning over though, hands moving up his thighs until his cock twitch. You eyed it, wanting to take him into your mouth, but settled for wrapping your hand around him, giving his a couple of strokes while he let out a sigh of relief, his legs restless beneath you. You placed a kiss on his hip next, his hips stuttering, and your lips moved up his abdomen, kissing over the tattoo on his chest. You were planning to go higher, to move your lips over that piece of ink he’d gotten just for you, but Tyler grabbed your hair instead, gently tugging your lips to his. 

“God,” you muttered, pussy clenching around nothing, trying to shift just right that your thong would rub against your clit, at least giving you a little bit of pressure. 

“Mmmm…baby,” Tyler breathed, hands against your ass, pulling you to his cock, and then you could feel his fingers sneak around, one playing with the wetness at your entrance, pushing it in slowly, like he knew what you needed. It was hard to concentrate, though, with his finger inside you, so you let him for just a minute, and then shifted again, Tyler huffing like you’d stop touching him, even as your lips trailed to suck on his neck, creating a mark like he so often did with you, fingernails lightly raking across his chest. “Want you to sit on my face.”

You pulled back almost immediately, using his body to steady yourself. “What?”

“You heard me,” he said, sliding his hand that had been inside you around your body, sucking his finger into his mouth, and you couldn’t stop your body’s reaction, the way his eyes slid shut as he tasted you. 

“But…I…” you stumbled, shifting on his body, because was this a thing that people actually did and didn’t just talk about, your hand braced on his chest. “I was trying to make this about you.”

“But what if this is what I want?” he asked, innocently enough, his hips shifting restlessly on the bed. 

“You go down on me all the time,” you said, part of your brain cursing you for seemingly complaining about it. Which you definitely were not. 

“ Well, I think you like it,” Tyler said, his eyes twinkling, tongue darting out to wet his lips, and you nodded in confirmation. “And I didn’t really get to a lot, we haven’t been doing that the whole time.”

You could feel his fingertips playing along the sides of your ass as you thought, playfully encouraging you. 

“I’ve just never done it before,” Tyler said, “And it sounds really hot. With you.”

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” you said, ignoring how wet and desperate to be touched you were for just a moment.

“Believe me, you are not gonna hurt me,” Tyler said with a laugh, hands pulling at your ass now. “Please? Just for a minute.”

You huffed, unsure of how his whining could be just so hot, slowly settling up his body, Tyler’s hands sliding down to your thighs, and then back up, toying with the string of your thong, slowly pulling it to the side, feeling the air against your bare pussy. You shuddered, lifting up so your weight was supported on shins, slowly inching up into position, watching Tyler’s eyes widen, a grin coming over his face just before he pulled you into him, letting out a satisfied hum once you were seated over his mouth. Honestly, it felt better than you thought it would, beard pricking at the sensitive skin of your thighs, mouth wet and warm against you. His gentle lips kissed at your clit, and your body went weak, Tyler laughing as he gripped at your thighs to steady you, which only sent more shockwaves through your body. 

“Oh my god,” you breathed, a lazy, satisfied smile spreading across your face already.

“Yeah, babe,” Tyler spoke against your skin, not able to possibly get any closer to you, your hand reaching for the headboard.

This wasn’t even your damn bed.

His lips sucked at your swollen clit, your leg beginning to shake already, and your hips pressed hard into his face. Tyler made a strangled noise from beneath you and you immediately pulled back, worried you hurt him, but his fingers gripped harder into your ass, pulling you back with need, making another noise as his tongue hungrily lapped between your folds. Your breath was coming out ragged, and it was all you could hear other than the sounds that Tyler was making, letting out a moan as his tongue drove up inside you, and your hand gripped his hair, so easy to fuck on his tongue, warm, and wet, and hard inside you. It was almost too good, too fast, and you were lucky that you had the wherewithal to actually learn forward to get a glimpse of his face, eyes slid shut like he’d just taken a bite of something delicious, your hips rocking even more, hands struggling for purchase, your bodies moving with each other instead of against each other, letting out a little laugh as you slid away from him, your hips raised over his chest, now becoming more and more aware of the burn on your inner thighs, knowing you’d be feeling it tomorrow.

You didn’t care.

"Yeah, that was awesome,“ he said as he ran his hand over his face to wipe it off, and you couldn’t help but laugh again, Tyler’s eyes shooting you a devilish look, leaning in with his teeth to hook around the thin string of your thong, slowly inching it down over your hips, his arms still held around your thighs. It wasn’t really working out as well as he might have intended, the elastic snapping against your skin and making you laugh, his eyes looking up at you until you slid your own hands to get it out of the way, shifting to push it down your legs, even with Tyler kissing at your legs, the little piece of fabric all but ruined, your hands moving onto his forearms as you leaned more onto him, following the shift of his hand to where he was palming at his cock, giving you a little sheepish grin libuilke it was wrong that you caught him. "I am so fucking hard right now.”

A moan slipped out of your mouth at his words, and all of a sudden your body was launched into motion, leaning over towards the nightstand, Tyler’s hand lightly slapping your ass, fumbling for the bottle of lube you’d stashed there, your breathing stuttering at just the thought of getting him inside you. 

“Baby,” Tyler pleaded, which was not helping your mind connect with your hands any better, nor was the groan that he let out when you finally grabbed the lube, using your hands to pump up and down his shaft, feeling him pulsing in your hand already, his hands moving heavy to your hips, gripping you, your mouth falling open as you sunk onto his length, feeling that familiar stretch. 

“God,” you finally let out, your voice coming out strangely breathless, circling your hips.

“Holy fuck,” Tyler muttered, his head pressed hard into the pillow, like you were rendering him boneless. “Babe….you….fuck, you gotta move.”

The thing about Tyler was that he could have such control over his body, that the raggedness of his voice and the way he was gripping at your hips was a huge turn on, every muscle in his body pulled tight, wanting to take you in a way that he hadn’t since last summer. With a couple of slow rolls of your hips, you build up a good rhythm, the heavy smack of skin on skin filling the room, moving beyond the even, deep touches you’d been giving each other lately, recapturing that pure sexual chemistry that you’d discovered that you had, which was somehow even better now that you didn’t have to hide behind it. It wasn’t long before Tyler was pulling your hips hard into his, that angle just right, so it was over and over again, your head falling back.

“So fucking good,” Tyler mumbled, which just increased your movements, hand trailing down to your clit because you needed the release, couldn’t take the build up anymore, especially when you’d been so close before, the sensation overwhelming in a way that let you know that this was going to be huge. Tyler made a frustrated noise, pushing your hand quickly out of the way, using his fingers to circle your clit and you were gone, your body leaning into the sensation, a crazy noise coming out of your mouth, Tyler riding you through it so you weren’t sure if it was one big orgasm, or two smashed together, the sensations just building and building. You didn’t even come down from it completely before Tyler growled, sitting up and his mouth connecting hard with yours, pushing at the sides of your bustier. "Fuck…I need….I need…“

And someone with his harsh breathing you seemed to understand, your hands working together to pull it from your body, shedding it to the side, Tyler’s hands heavy on your bare skin, yet you were still completely caught by surprise when he flipped your bodies over in one motion, your breath getting caught in your chest, Tyler’s forehead pressing against yours, the gentle movement of his lips contrasting with the rest of his body, and it was all you could do to clutch to him. "Can you go again?” he asked, somehow able to form thoughts when your brain had left you long ago.

“Yeah, uh….yeah,” you managed, completely breathless, feeling nothing other than the heat spreading up your spine again, the slap of his balls against your ass. 

He made a completely unintelligent noise, trying to look at you but settling for burying his face in your shoulder, thrusting with abandon, hard and deep, and your legs wrapped around him, pulling him even closer. His hips stuttered, pausing deep inside you, his moan fulling your ear and your body contracting around him, feeling his release inside you and sending you into one of your own, his hips moving even faster as he continues to let go, pawing at each other as you came down together, both of you sweaty and satisfied, slowly reentering the world together, Tyler giving you a lazy grin.

“Yeah, that was awesome,” he said, and you could do nothing more than smile back and him, hoping that he at least got the message, and he laughed, kissing you, rolling onto his side towards you, hand running up and down your arm before you turned to him. “You look so damn fucked out.”

“I am,” you said, and he tried to act like he had it together, but you could see his chest rising and falling for breath, the redness on his cheeks.

“Mmm….I want cookies,” he said, throwing his leg over yours, pulling you close, and you immediately started laughing silently. “In like five minutes.”

****

“I love you so much right now,” you said to Tyler, reaching up from where you were nursing the baby for the iced mocha in his hand, iced coffee being what you’d been constantly craving, and you’d practically started crying this morning when you realized that you’d forgotten to brew coffee and stick in the fridge last night, both before you’d gone to bed, and then you’d thought of it again when you were up in the night with Bentley, certain you’d made a mental note to do that. 

Apparently your brain had lost the memo.

“Yeah, I know,” Tyler said cockily, stepping over the dogs to set his own coffee down next to yours, leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. “You still planning on eating that soggy bowl of cereal? Saving it for something?”

“Oh shoot,” you muttered, looking up in the direction of the kitchen. You’d had it all set up too, the perfect breastfeeding snack right when Bentley would be ready to eat, totally ready to settle in. And you’d forgotten that, too. Tyler just laughed at you like you being scatterbrained was adorable, rather than making fun of you.

“I’ll make you a new one,” he offered, and all you could do was thank him. Really, you didn’t even know why you were so exhausted. Bentley was sleeping better than he ever had, likely tuckered out from all the new stimulation he was getting, and it wasn’t like Tyler was having to go train or have any other commitments while you were on vacation, meaning that you had his help all the time.

And yet you found yourself rubbing your feet back and forth against Cash’s fur, taking a grateful sip of your coffee, savoring it as if the taste alone would perk your brain up. Marshall’s head raised up first from where he was curled up on the other end of the sofa, and you didn’t think anything of it, leaning over to pat him, which meant you were completely unprepared for Gerry launching himself onto the couch, your hand holding Bentley to the breastfeeding pillow and your body, trying to steady your coffee, sliding it onto the table beside you. 

“Gerry,” you said, in what you thought was a stern voice, but he just wagged his tail, making Marshall blink with each pass of his tail, Gerry stepping towards you with that familiar look in his eye. “Gerry,” you repeated, your arm going up to protect the baby from errant paws, leaning your head away instinctively to get away from the tongue that was surely to be in your face, likely in your eyes. You were not, however, expecting his head to duck lower, licking at the top of your exposed breast. You screeched a little, trying to push him away, but he was intent like he was trying to lick the remnants out of his food bowl.

“Tyler!” you called, and he must have heard the panic in your voice because you could hear his footsteps rushing.

“Gerry!” Tyler said harshly, attracting his attention, “Off, off.”

Luckily, Tyler was able to pull the strong dog off within seconds, Gerry immediately laying down like he was in trouble. “Is he okay?” Tyler asked, running his finger along Bentley’s cheek like he was trying to check him for scratches, your hand coming over your upturned lips, Bentley looking around for a moment before he went back to nursing.

“He’s fine, he didn’t touch him.”

Tyler looked back and forth between Ferry and you, a frown evident on his face, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what, he’s never jumped on him like that before.”

“He wasn’t jumping on him, he was jumping on me,” you clarified.

“Are you sure?” Tyler asked tentatively.

“Yes,” you said, your voice breaking with laughter, and Tyler raised his eyebrows, giving you a curious look. “He was trying to lick my boob.”

“He was what?” Tyler asked, head jutting towards you. 

“He was licking my boob,” you repeated, cackling with laughter, your fingers wiping at your eyes.

“Quit shaking so much, your kid is trying to eat,” Tyler laughed, which only made you laugh harder.

“Sorry,” you said, trying to even out your breathing, but it was pointless. “It’s just, of course your dog would try to lick my boob.”

“Hey, what is that supposed to mean?" 

"You know what it means,” you said. 

“How come he’s my dog when he does something bad?”

“Because,” you answered, and Tyler laughed, sidling next to you. “He’s your dog.”

“He’s your dog, too,” Tyler said, somehow managing to lean over and rest his head on your shoulder without putting pressure on your body. “You’re the one who told me to get him.”

“I just said he was cute,” you laughed, Tyler raising his eyebrow, “You sent me a picture of a puppy and asked me what I thought, what else am I gonna say? I didn’t know you were thinking about getting a puppy.”

“Well, you didn’t have any trouble hopping on a flight and coming down to help me,” Tyler said sarcastically, a smile playing across his lips.

“Well, you had a puppy, of course I was coming,” you said, already petting Gerry with your foot. 

“They’re so cute when they’re little, it’s hard to stop,” Tyler said, admittedly, running his fingers over your bare arm lightly, looking at the baby and then back up at you, grinning mischievously, and you thought for a moment that if you weren’t careful, you’d end with a whole house full of babies and dogs. 

“Yeah,” you said, dreamily, because those were the days when you realized that you’d got absolutely nothing done other than stare at a little creature, fresh to the world.

“Then, next thing you know, they’re all grown up and licking girl’s boobs,” Tyler said, and you started giggling again, which turned into deeper laughter when you noticed Marshall just sitting at the end of the couch staring seriously at Tyler’s head, like he was judging you both and Tyler looked at him and snorted, his hand moving around to rub at Marshall’s neck.

“What did you want to do today?” you asked, already stifling a yawn. “He’s ready, so if you want to watch him when he’s done eating, I can go get ready, and we could do that hike again?”

“Do you want to do that hike again?” Tyler laughed, eyebrows raised, and you realized that you already had your head resting on the back of the couch. 

“Yeah, sure, why not?”

“Because you look like you’re gonna fall asleep,” Tyler said, leaning his cheek against the couch like you were. 

“Mmm…” you muttered, non committedly, and Tyler laughed. 

“You’re not?” He laughed. 

“I’m just a little tired,” you admitted. “I’m sure I’ll wake up once we get moving.”

“We can just hang out here,” Tyler said, “we don’t have to go anywhere.”

“Yeah, but…” you started. 

“But what?”

And you sighed. “But you want to go, and I just-”

“I don’t care,” he shrugged, setting his feet atop the coffee table as if to prove his point.

“But you didn’t go on vacation this year, and you work hard…”

Tyler suddenly looked at you like you had two heads. “I’m on vacation right now.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same,” you said, and Tyler’s eyes widened trying to get you to elaborate, and you inhaled,propping Bentley up on your chest and then rubbing his back, a little fist rising to his face, and Tyler had to pull back a little so he didn’t get smacked, leaning in close again. “You came home on bye week to help me set up his room and then you came home right after the season was over.”

“Yeah, because I wanted to hang out with you guys,” Tyler said, “that’s the whole reason why I wanted to come here, because I wanted to relax and be alone with you guys, not because I cared about going on hikes or whatever.”

“I know,” you said, and he gave you a bit of a skeptical look. “It’s been fun, though, I just don’t know why I’m so tired today.”

“You have a baby,” Tyler said, “Pretty sure you’re supposed to be tired.”

“No, I know,” you said, planting a kiss atop Bentley’s head. “He’s been super good though.”

“Yeah, he’s been great,” Tyler agreed, “but you’re still up with him multiple times a night, and we’ve been super busy, AND you’ve been screwing my brains out like every night. I’d be tired, too.”

“Tyler!" 

"What?” He asked, impishly sticking his tongue out at you. “It’s true. I didn’t say the F word.”

“Yeah…I…” you said, stumbling over your words, your face getting hot, and Tyler laughed at you. 

“We can just chill here, though, this house is bomb, and we haven’t really checked it out,” Tyler said, kissing at your neck playfully and then nudging Bentley’s nose with his own. “We could watch a movie in the media room, play with toys, take a nap, order take-out.”

“We could cook,” you said, leaning into him now, “We’ve got this big, beautiful kitchen, and I don’t think I can leave here without cooking in it.”

You suddenly felt like you needed a home cooked meal, and perhaps fresh vegetables. 

“Yeah, sure,” Tyler said, “if you want.”

“I want,” you said, leaning easily into his kiss.

You didn’t nap though, not really, but you’d shut your eyes while stretched out on the floor playing with Bentley and then again curled up with Tyler later on the couch, catching up on Netflix, feeling much more rested without being drowsy. 

Tyler had ended up picking you both up sandwiches for a late lunch, which meant that by the time you’d headed to the grocery store it was fairly quiet, everyone likely already eating their dinner, the warm summer evening calm and inviting. 

“Oh, sure, now you fall asleep,” you said quietly towards Bentley, who had fallen silent pretty much as soon as you turned into the parking lot. Tyler had offered to go to the store for you or stay back with the baby, but selfishly you wanted to spend time with both of them. "We go on a drive where we want you to fall asleep and you’re mad the whole time, but we go for a short drive and you pass out?“

Tyler laughed, his hand nudging at your hip. "Here, I got him,” he said, and you watched as he ever so gently maneuvered the car seat out, Bentley staying silent, his eyes shut restfully, and his little lips puckered, Tyler giving you a look like you should be impressed that the baby stayed asleep, and you stepped a little ahead of them, going to grab a shopping buggy. “I thought we were just grabbing stuff for dinner, you think we need a cart?” he laughed at you.

“To put him in,” you said, nodding towards the open cart.

“Oh,” Tyler said in a small voice, settling him into the cart, while you attempted to orientate yourself in the unfamiliar store.ÐXXÐX

“What do you want?” you asked, looking over your shoulder towards Tyler.

“You wanna do like pasta or something?" 

"Sure,” you said, running through a checklist in your mind. “With shrimp?”

“That sounds amazing,” he said, literally leaning over to kiss your cheek for no reason, and you noticed the produce guy look at you and smile, like this wasn’t something he saw everyday. 

“We’ve still got white, right?” You asked, “we could do a wine sauce.”

“You are really into this whole wine thing,” Tyler laughed, the two of you having picked up a bottle from local wineries almost every time you’d been out, settling in with your one glass each night. 

“I couldn’t have any for forever,” you said, “and the alcohol will burn off anyways.”

Tyler laughed at you, yet you could see him eyeing a display, picking out another bottle to add to your collection. “I think can handle driving a shopping cart, babe, I’m not gonna crash.”

And now you realized that you were holding onto the end of the cart, guiding him around like he was a child. “Sorry,” you said, pulling away, “Habit.”

Tyler smiled at you, leaning over the shopping cart to check on Bentley, slowly pushing it behind you. “How long until he gets to sit up here?" 

You looked at Tyler patting the seat at the top of the cart, where you used to stick your purse, but now it seemed more reserved for your diaper bag. "Umm…when he can sit up on his own, I think?” you said, picturing the little bare feet dangling, and ignoring your worries about germs briefly.

“It’s gonna be so cute,” Tyler said, “I want him to go in the one that looks like a car.”

“You want him to go in the one that looks like a car, or you want to?” you asked, grabbing a package of fresh pasta from the shelf. 

“I want him to go in it while I push him,” Tyler said, as if it was obvious, “We can do donuts by the donuts.”

“You are such a geek,” you laughed. 

“No, you’re the nerd,” Tyler said, still following you around. “You’re a cute nerd, but you’re still a giant nerd.”

“Whatever,” you smiled, enjoying the quiet way that they followed you around the store, while you gathered olive oil, and cheese, and the shrimp, Tyler grabbing ingredients for the salad while you grabbed garlic and fresh herbs. 

“Hey, babe?” you heard Tyler call from the other side of the produce section. “Do you want eggplant?”

“For this?” you asked, gathering the herbs into a bag and then turning, “No?”

You stopped though, your hand following when you saw him casually leaning against the cart, and no one would notice unless they were right in his line of sight that he was holding the eggplant right between his legs, Tyler’s laughter ringing out when he saw the look on your face.

“What? You don’t like eggplant?” he asked, and you found yourself hoping that no one in the store spoke English.

“I like eggplant,” you said, “It just doesn’t go with what we’re making.”

“Wait, you actually eat eggplant?” Tyler asked, putting it back now, and you did a double take, because did he seriously just try to put that back? 

“Yeah, it’s good, like eggplant parm, or-” you said, taking a look at Tyler’s scrunched up face, shocked at how incredibly picky he was with food, about the only thing you had to nudge him to get him out of his comfort zone, going to put what you’d grabbed in the cart and freezing. “Tyler, you cannot put an eggplant on my baby’s crotch,” you said, the words coming out rather serious, but than you were really struggling not to laugh at the words that you just said. 

“It’s a baby eggplant,” Tyler said, poking at it with his finger, a look of amusement on his face that was contagious. You sighed dramatically, going to grab the other one he’d put back before, now wondering what the hell you were going to make with eggplant.

You’d figure it out.

“You’re getting it?” Tyler asked, and you nodded. “Why?”

“Because I’m not letting other people buy them after what you did with them.”

“But I don’t have to eat it, right?”

“Oh, you’re gonna eat it,” you said, and Tyler looked a little taken aback, leaning down towards Bentley and saying in a stage whisper.

“You’re gonna have to do me a favour and get in trouble lots, bud, you’re mom’s hot when she’s mad.”

“Stop,” you laughed. 

“It’s true,” he said, kissing you on the temple, snaking a hand to discreetly pinch your ass, and your hand wrapped around his forearm, pulling back to kiss him in a way that was at least appropriate in public. “You think we got everything?” he asked, softly, hands brushing yours as you sorted through the cart, your fingers touching the plastic buried underneath the vegetables, finding a package of cinnamon buns, thick with cream cheese frosting. 

“The kid must have snuck them in there,” Tyler said, scratching the back of his neck, his face scrunched up with mock concern, “Looks like he ruined the packaging a bit, we’re gonna have to buy them now, I guess.”

“He didn’t sneak any ice cream in there, did he?” you asked.

“Mmmm, I don’t think so,” Tyler said, “I hope he doesn’t try to pull anything between now and the check-out counter.”

And you couldn’t stop the smile from coming across your face when Tyler left disappeared right as you were getting into line, coming back with your favourite ice cream and very obviously stuffing it under the vegetables on the conveyor belt, the cashier sharing a look with you, like she was trying to hide a smile.

It wasn’t a few minutes later that you were getting in the car, Bentley all secured in the back, and you moved in to sit next to Tyler, sharing a look when he stayed peacefully asleep, likely not even aware of your whole grocery trip outing, yet he’d still been a big part of it. Tyler already had his seatbelt done up, so you worked on yours, assuming he was waiting for you, his keys in the ignition. But he didn’t move to turn the car on, running his hand over the top of the steering wheel, and then turning to look at you, and you could see him swallow.

“I really like being able to go to the grocery store with you,” He said simply.

“Yeah, me too,” you said, your brain already trying to figure out what he was getting at, it being so obvious he didn’t have to spell it out.

“No, I mean, like, I like just being able to go once? Like not have stuff at your house and have stuff at my house, like having it all together?” He said, clearing his throat, his hand wide across his thigh, turning even more to look at you. “I mean, like being in the same house, and living together this week, it’s been…awesome.”

You looked at him, still trying to put the pieces together, because you’d barely spent a night apart since Bentley had come down with that ear infection, it wasn’t like sleeping in the same bed every night and coordinating dinner was that new. 

“I want more of it,” he said.

“Like…you want to live together?” you said, before you could think, and Tyler just silently nodded, his eyes on yours. “Like in your house?”

“Yeah,” Tyler said.

“Well, I mean, we’re usually there during the day?” you said, because that was usually your routine, heading over to his place after he’d gotten home from training and staying there until it was just about Bentley’s bedtime, when you’d go for your nightly walk and then head back to your place, having diapers and dog bowls and clothes at both of your places. “Not that I don’t want to, it’s just with his room, at my house, like I think it’s easier if we sleep there.”

You couldn’t even imagine dealing with taking apart the crib and putting it back together again, and your glider, and the whole room that you’d created, knowing the time it had taken you to put it together, and realizing that by the time you’d even set up a place for Bentley at Tyler’s, summer would likely be over anyways.

And…

“No, I don’t mean here, what we’ve been doing is fine,” Tyler said, half laughing at you. “I meant in Dallas.”

“You want me to come live with you in Dallas?” you said, clarifying, feeling all the air rush out of your lungs in shock, everything slowing down, and Tyler nodded clearly, as if he needed to make it perfectly clear, his hands coming to rest on yours.

“You’re on maternity leave for a year, right?” he confirmed, even though he already knew the answer, and now was your time to nod. “I just want to….see if we can make this thing work. All of us. If you would…move in with me?”

Although he didn’t say it, you could see it in his eyes, of everything that he was asking you to give up. The support system you’d set up, and your family, and your home, and this whole life you’d created for yourself. It felt like you were standing on a ledge, the next words out of your mouth being something that could change your entire life, whether you were going to be all in, or try and keep one foot on solid ground. You let your mind go clear, your eyes darting back to that carseat in the back of Tyler’s car, holding that last big decision you’d made together, and then your eyes moved back to Tyler’s, who was still waiting for you.

“Yes,” you said evenly, your voice filling the car, watching Tyler’s smile reflect your own.


End file.
